Can you speak about how you've preyed on strangers, violated, exploited, targeted, defamed, stalked, and enslaved strangers for years to build your platform, YOU DUMB, PIECE OF SHIT BITCH!!!!
Consequences = throw her out of the car, walk out of the restaurant and let her pay. Don't pay for anything other than yourself, Silent treatment works great! Why, non-existent relationship!
Narcissists need continuous eye contact. My father used to scream at me " look at me when I'm talking to you". I remember yelling back once, "my ears are on the side of my head". It's about CONTROL. Thank You Christina. ❤
My father also same. But I couldn't avoid and was being trapped continuously for my entire childhood. Now when I react he marks me as sensitive. I'm not out of it till now
Since I’ve been saying no, setting boundaries, having self respect, I’ve gotten a lot of nasty comments. They are not used to the new version of me because they can’t benefit from it anymore.
I've become so use to setting boundaries without saying a word that I don't even need to discuss it with myself anymore. It just happens automatically. I continue to watch your videos though just to reaffirm what I'm already doing..
For my reference 2:34 No contact: don’t have to announce, explain or defend, just cut off 4:32 Avoiding: Doesn’t mean let them win, it is taking back your power, No drama. Don’t spend ur time on managing your anxiety and analysing their gestures and words 7:00 Using body language: alternate between looking their eyes and forehead, stand or sit up straight shoulders back, chin slightly lifted, turn your body about 15º away from them, relax your hand 10:30 Physical gestures: glancing your phone, check watch ,organising your things 13:46 Silence: Look at them, no words, no actions, face neutral
All Narcs have endured some sort of damaging trauma, physical, mental etc. They are wounded animals who are looking to strike back at any moment. They have their guard up (mentally) 24/7. They are tortured by no one but themselves. Paranoia is a real thing.
I have a narc going off on me because I don't answer her 3 AM calls of trauma dumping. So she calls my dad because I gave her that info awhile back as "emergency" contact. He texts, saying a girl is looking for me with a laughing emoji
Thank you so much for this! It really helps. I am in the middle of a divorce and it's getting worse. I will loose everything but i will walk away with my self respect and dignity!
Sorry the narc has to make it more difficult than it should be, but you know who you’re dealing with, and that cutting your losses is the only viable option, but then you’ll be FREE! 🪽
Our peace is non negotiable and we don’t need to say a word of explanation why. Thank you 🙏 for brilliant observations and excellent advice Christina ❤
Also in baiting comments and dig comments , do this tactic - 1- Ask them to repeat the baiting or dig comment (this exposes the narcissist- they hate being exposed ) 2- then ask - “was that comment meant to hurt me ?” (This forces the narcissist to self reflect which they dread ) Very effective EVERY TIME with your garden variety narcissist (mid to low on the narcissist spectrum)
IF the narcissist says “yes it was meant to hurt you “ then look at them in silence for 4 seconds and walk away (knowing that narcissist is someone who’s high in the narcissist spectrum (maybe a malignant narcissist even !) who you must truly avoid physically!)
@@duromusabc 💯 They detest looking in the mirror, and this DOES work, but as you mentioned in your caveat, it only works with those lower on the spectrum.
Love this video and your high quality channel! The sound is so professional too. It gives me a lot of peace knowing I did the right thing to go silent when the narcissist in my life didn’t respect my boundaries.
Thank you. That's all good advice. It's kind of sad that we have to learn techniques to deal with these toxic people. Dr. Les Carter uses the term "Calm Assertiveness". The narcissist thrives on our reactions. Like restricting air from a fire, our lack of reaction starves them. Sometimes, it feels like we're powerless in the face of their baiting and manipulation. It's nice to have some tools to defend ourselves.
True, but it may be easier to start grey rock but if you have to be around them long-term, they may eventually respect your calm assertiveness, but only after they realize that you have more control and are more powerful than they are. They have to fear your calm assertiveness. Everything to them is power and control and even if it’s not in your nature, you have to learn.
Love this! I don't feel like I have had much trouble setting "boundaries". In early elementry school I realized it is always going to be about them, consequently I put the majority of that mess "on read" since about early Elementry school! Never-the-less my family members who display NPD traits continue to be unable to regulate their emotions! They display a carousel of validation seeking with blanket active and passive disrespect toward everyone! Yet certain people enable their childish and toxic behavior! I don't participate in the ridiculous orchestrations!
I will tell you from now, it is usually the narcissist who feels attacked by the victim after they lose control, not the other way around. And for this reason it is almost always the narcissist who needs to cut off and block the victim (this is called discard), because they know the victim is now aware of who they are and what they're about. The victim is not the one who is fragile usually, the victim is the emotionally stable and strong one, it is the narcissist who is emotionally unstable and who has a fragile ego that needs constant affirmation and protection. Another thing is that there are A LOT of narcissists who project their narcissistic personality onto the victim (scapegoat) and A LOT of narcisists who are the abusers and who think they are the ones who suffered narcissistic abuse. I know from experience.
The Karpman Drama Triangle (Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer) seems a mainstay in narcissistic relationships, at least in my experience with the several I've had. I'd much rather be alone if I'm condemned to repeat history one more time
mr macho, thought he had me in his back pocket and I said this * your pretty blue eyes are not doing it for me* and yes, he has beautiful blues eyes lol
If I ever do greywalling or no contact, I am called an abuser because according to them "silent treatment" is abuse. It's very difficut to explain to other people why I feel I HAVE to do it.
Thanks for the reminder to stay strong with my no contact decision. Going on two years. I'm related to the narcissist, and going no contact has pretty much cut me off from my whole family. It's hard to hang in there, but I still have to.
@catserver8577 Same here. Congratulations, 2 years and getting stronger. It’s pretty disappointing when family aligns and supports the most toxic, sick, loud-mouthed person without even a check-in with you. It hurts and it’s lonely. However, now I’m grateful when individuals out themselves as being on the Opposition Team, (✅ thought so and thank you). Sometimes our tribe is not blood related, you’re not alone.
I'm really glad that I haven't been able to go no contact. It's really taught me to learn how to have peace in spite of them, manage relationships with difficult people and continue going where I want to go whether theyre there or not.
I so wish these existed back in 2005-2007 when I was married to one and her mother... I can only say it was soul destroying. They just backed each other up, made up whatever lies suited them, supported their obvious untruths... I really thought I'd found love, instead I just found mental torture.
Last time I tried silence he says “ what? aren’t you speaking to me?” And I said sure I am. I didn’t realize that was a question. He immediately shut up. Full stop. I walked away because, of course, it was some snotty comment meant to start an argument.
Hearing swear words shouted around me even if not at or towards me hurts my ears. 👂 I have sensitive ears. It pains me to hear, especially in front of anyone’s children. But people have a right to say what they want and how they want. That’s fine. It’s not up to them to manage my feelings or change my pain. I also have a right - to leave the room or building or area for a little while until that language dies down and I feel comfortable returning. Then I don’t have to hear it and we don’t have to argue. Within 3 times, this silent demonstration began having a desired effect in calming the household. It’s not right for everybody. Some narcs it just enrages to loose control when you make the decision for yourself to leave their earshot. So you have to feel it out carefully. I began by simply averting my eyes. From the tantrum. That helped a little. Then I gathered the courage to slowly turn my shoulder… then my back. And finally watch my feet walk towards the door.
Some of these are definitely worth a try, although I think I'll skip some that sounded a bit too manipulative for my taste. In any case, from my experience, silence truly is golden 🏅
Once coping skills are learned. That uncomfortable feeling when we first start to establish healthy boundaries will become less and less uncomfortable. It really does. Journaling is helpful to see my own progress
Yeah I have the biggest problem with unfortunately my 2 adult different dad stepchildren. Narsassistic to their core. And know how to wrap their mothers fingers like expensive sea fishing line.
Sometimes you have to deal with narcissists behavior on forums or through texting. I guess not replying or ignoring? Blocking, unfollowing? I find replying aggravates them. Or they ghost or don't reply and I feel they get satisfaction from that. I can turn the tables on them.
My go-to consequence when dealing with these narcs especially in my family is a pop up dose of loudly resonating public embarrassment, dealt casually, with the utmost control. 😅 Try again... What else you've got? Lol
Almost all of your suggestions run the line between autistic masking or neurotypical behaviors 😂 It's like a game if how well can you mask? They would KNOW the second I tried to MASK SO HARD😅
What to do for a weekend long wedding for a close friend but ex and his friends will be there. Would rather avoid completely as you said but the bride and my close friends will not understand and be hurt I won’t just deal with it for the occasion.
When I would go to visit the narcissist ( was a long distance relationship) I would always bring a book to read and my journal. I didn't realize then what was going on nor that he was a covert malignant narcissist, however I did feel nervous at times and books are my comfort, my journal and pencils to draw or write. I thought the nervousness was because it was a new relationship and I was single for many years prior to him. But now looking back my body and energy knew something was off. When I felt uneasy or if I felt like I was being ignored I had my book and I would start writing. Well I must say that made him stop what he was doing because I wasn't paying attention to him and his game didn't work in those moments, sometimes he would leave the room. 😂
I feel the body language tips are great with people that are just toxic, but not with people who have NPD as they notoriously have trouble reading body language, and social ques. It's easier to just be politely blunt and let them know "it would be nice to catch up, but I have another obligation at this time." All this sugarcoated dancing honestly just wastes time with people like this.
I have walked away many times. As easy as 1,2,3 she goes on and starts a relation with an other. After years she comes back saving she was wrong and learned and found out that she only wants me and i am her true love.!! When she does not drink ( during the day) she is lovely, kind and all the good stuff, after 1600 she starts drinking and gets pure evil,
Ignoring, acting like they are not there and you don't need them, is SO much fun. Expect flying monkeys to come up with flimsy reasons to "stop by" and spy. Tell the FMs anything you want them to know. nothing. This destroys them. One of their tactics is surprise, so prepare things like "Wow, you look younger every time I see you! What's your secret ?" They eat that up like a free steak dinner.
Your boundaries are to protect you not to punish them! You have to ask yourself a hard question: why would you want someone like that in your life? There's parts of you that are unhealed that still resonates with them. Pray! Ask God for strength! You got this and God got you❤️
Your first suggestion is simply bad. Be specific about your boundary, call it a boundary, and if the person crosses it, remove them from your life. Coming from someone who moved far away from everyone. It's possible.
For me the museum curator act tends to work best unless it is an I don't want to become a ghisha girl while always doing what I am told at the time. Since dads during the 1950's often came home only on weekends what are we to believe when someone tells us that we are stuck in the 1950's kind of situation. During this century. I don't know about you too when not wanting to babysit. For sure sometimes silently leaving our own suite while taking way too long in the bathroom and then slipping out the door to let them figure it out while wondering who all else might be showing up there too like maybe a couple of policemen to do a welfare check well then they can explain that to them. If that welfare check included a mental health nurse then guess what is going to happen when we are not interested or not needing to recieve any mind altering prescription they are offering. So when that kind of team comes over the best set of words is to give them a tour of what kind of maintenance tasks have been done in your place so far. Like your children and brothers and the MEtis nation too helping with the renovations and me chopping down some trees threatening the power lines and the one corner of the neighbors garage too they might soon with their guns too decide to move on. Most of all if after one of them starts trying to become head cook all of a sudden too after marching into the next room while not sticking with the welfare check team to lie about who had to turn only a simmering pot of food on the stove after they all showed up 2 hours late for allegedly only an appointment with a social worker alone during COVID-19 rules then they might all decide to move one sooner. When they are alll saying, I've got somewhere else to be. When they leave to never come back again then so much the better. Unless of course during the next welfare check with too many on the team for the next context involving a teenager who isn't yours who is a stranger to you who was carrying a gun used against the team of cops with guns too then sending condolences to the policemen who were lost would be the right thing to do after that. True story. During COVID-19 up here in Edmonton, Alberta Canada when in 2 offices they hadn't got word yet that I had already visited the doctor elsewhere at the time while a waiting for an appointment for some medical laboratory tests after passing a kidney stone for a day. While not runnning a fever at the time. AFter being told many decades earlier by a person from that kind of crowd that I am doomed to be a forever till the day I die needing to take psychiatric drugs after hearing from my first violent husband about how that was all my fault well then that is their own problem when preferring instead to visit me when overmedicated well then my silence when not calling them at all could of course cause them to become way too curious while breaking in while we are away well then guess what the neighbors are going to be doing about that. You guessed it. Callling the police or coming over to ask why they are there. Police then saying that they lost their cat wouldn't go over well with the neighbors at all.
This is really good video/support and helpful but I'm sorry this is WAY too much work in handling a narc. Sorry to sound naive but what's wrong with just living & being to enjoy life? I would suggest just block them and delete then live life. It's ridiculous & draining to deal with an evil/toxic spirit. Move on and let God & time deal with the narc. ❤️ (if not possible then 100% utilise gray rock but takecare of yourself as u are designed to let light shine through you in this dark World not allow anyone to dim it. 🙏
This was such toxic advise. Its exactpy how covert narcs act. Better grow up and learn to use words instead of teaching others to be passive agressive. I found it sad to see these methods being promoted om this channel.
@mesalouis8976 It depends on the situation, but making others feel unimportant and being dismissive towards them is not the answer. If you give ke a specific example I am happy to share my approach with you.
Shilling Better Help, really? The website known to have allowed unlicensed "therapists" with no education in the subject have access to vulnerale people? Actually, what *are* Christina's credentials? I've looked on her youtube profile AND website, and no credentials to be doing this kind of thing are listed. It's couched in confusing language, calling her a "specialist" but not listing where she was trained, or how. On top of that, her services cost as much as an actual therapist's, AND she's shilling AI? I'm pretty mad to see this person taking advantage of people who have been through bad relationships. Like, I'm just trying to recover and take care of my mental health, lady. I'm not saying her advice is trash, but I am saying that I'm pretty sure lady is working the same grift as all the other channels that focus only on this single mental health topic. If you're recovering from a narcisstic relationship in your life, get a real therapist. You're worth investing in yourself, and I believe that you can break free. If you think I just have a problem with this lady, pay attention to what the algo feeds you next. There's a rabbit hole that leads to videos about how you can just tell a narcissist by looking at their eyes or facial structure. The kind of modern phrenology that just leads to breaking brains.
Listen to Sam Vaknin- a diagnosed Narcissist and a Clinical Psychologist. He's also a visiting Professor of Psychology, everything he says is free, tried and true. He says, if you go to a therapist, find one who specializes in trauma or personality disturbances. I find him very helpful. The Little Shaman makes good points, but I'm not sure what qualifications she has. Good luck!!
Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
Can you speak about how you've preyed on strangers, violated, exploited, targeted, defamed, stalked, and enslaved strangers for years to build your platform, YOU DUMB, PIECE OF SHIT BITCH!!!!
This is so powerful and true. Narcissists don’t respond to words. They respond to CONSEQUENCES.
Dead on!
Consequences = throw her out of the car, walk out of the restaurant and let her pay. Don't pay for anything other than yourself, Silent treatment works great! Why, non-existent relationship!
I LOVE setting boundaries and they’ll ALWAYS test us but enforce it and they have no choice.
They are very handy to be able to literally walk away
Narcissists need continuous eye contact. My father used to scream at me " look at me when I'm talking to you". I remember yelling back once, "my ears are on the side of my head". It's about CONTROL. Thank You Christina. ❤
I'm sorry you went through that!
My father also same. But I couldn't avoid and was being trapped continuously for my entire childhood. Now when I react he marks me as sensitive. I'm not out of it till now
We need to stop wasting our energy on toxic people. Excellent tips. Thank you so much! 🎉
Since I’ve been saying no, setting boundaries, having self respect, I’ve gotten a lot of nasty comments. They are not used to the new version of me because they can’t benefit from it anymore.
brilliant, it means you are on the right track and don't stop
Setting boundaries with a narcissist can feel like hard work, but it's also worthwhile ❤️🙏
@@CommonEgo They definitely do not like boundaries at all.
💯💯💯
Exactly what happened to me
I've become so use to setting boundaries without saying a word that I don't even need to discuss it with myself anymore. It just happens automatically. I continue to watch your videos though just to reaffirm what I'm already doing..
For my reference
2:34 No contact: don’t have to announce, explain or defend, just cut off
4:32 Avoiding: Doesn’t mean let them win, it is taking back your power, No drama. Don’t spend ur time on managing your anxiety and analysing their gestures and words
7:00 Using body language: alternate between looking their eyes and forehead, stand or sit up straight shoulders back, chin slightly lifted, turn your body about 15º away from them, relax your hand
10:30 Physical gestures: glancing your phone, check watch ,organising your things
13:46 Silence: Look at them, no words, no actions, face neutral
All Narcs have endured some sort of damaging trauma, physical, mental etc. They are wounded animals who are looking to strike back at any moment. They have their guard up (mentally) 24/7. They are tortured by no one but themselves. Paranoia is a real thing.
Healthy boundaries are as important to me as proper rest and food.
I have a narc going off on me because I don't answer her 3 AM calls of trauma dumping. So she calls my dad because I gave her that info awhile back as "emergency" contact. He texts, saying a girl is looking for me with a laughing emoji
Thank you so much for this! It really helps. I am in the middle of a divorce and it's getting worse. I will loose everything but i will walk away with my self respect and dignity!
Sorry the narc has to make it more difficult than it should be, but you know who you’re dealing with, and that cutting your losses is the only viable option, but then you’ll be FREE! 🪽
Did they up the abuse 10x after leaving?
Our peace is non negotiable and we don’t need to say a word of explanation why. Thank you 🙏 for brilliant observations and excellent advice Christina ❤
This is the best episode yet! Thank you!
Also in baiting comments and dig comments , do this tactic -
1- Ask them to repeat the baiting or dig comment (this exposes the narcissist- they hate being exposed )
2- then ask - “was that comment meant to hurt me ?” (This forces the narcissist to self reflect which they dread )
Very effective EVERY TIME with your garden variety narcissist (mid to low on the narcissist spectrum)
IF the narcissist says “yes it was meant to hurt you “ then look at them in silence for 4 seconds and walk away (knowing that narcissist is someone who’s high in the narcissist spectrum (maybe a malignant narcissist even !) who you must truly avoid physically!)
@@duromusabc 💯 They detest looking in the mirror, and this DOES work, but as you mentioned in your caveat, it only works with those lower on the spectrum.
@duromusabc This "suggestion" is verbatim from Jefferson Fisher's YT channel. Credit where credit is due!
@duromusabc Again, this is verbatim from Jefferson Fisher's YT channel.
My best boundary is, "Byyyeee!" I have Jesus!
Narcissists often have Jesus too
No, they don’t have Jesus.@@user-hx3kd1zn7f
@@user-hx3kd1zn7f the amount of humility is not high
Love this video and your high quality channel! The sound is so professional too. It gives me a lot of peace knowing I did the right thing to go silent when the narcissist in my life didn’t respect my boundaries.
Thank you. That's all good advice. It's kind of sad that we have to learn techniques to deal with these toxic people. Dr. Les Carter uses the term "Calm Assertiveness". The narcissist thrives on our reactions. Like restricting air from a fire, our lack of reaction starves them. Sometimes, it feels like we're powerless in the face of their baiting and manipulation. It's nice to have some tools to defend ourselves.
True, but it may be easier to start grey rock but if you have to be around them long-term, they may eventually respect your calm assertiveness, but only after they realize that you have more control and are more powerful than they are. They have to fear your calm assertiveness. Everything to them is power and control and even if it’s not in your nature, you have to learn.
Love this! I don't feel like I have had much trouble setting "boundaries". In early elementry school I realized it is always going to be about them, consequently I put the majority of that mess "on read" since about early Elementry school! Never-the-less my family members who display NPD traits continue to be unable to regulate their emotions! They display a carousel of validation seeking with blanket active and passive disrespect toward everyone! Yet certain people enable their childish and toxic behavior! I don't participate in the ridiculous orchestrations!
I will tell you from now, it is usually the narcissist who feels attacked by the victim after they lose control, not the other way around. And for this reason it is almost always the narcissist who needs to cut off and block the victim (this is called discard), because they know the victim is now aware of who they are and what they're about. The victim is not the one who is fragile usually, the victim is the emotionally stable and strong one, it is the narcissist who is emotionally unstable and who has a fragile ego that needs constant affirmation and protection. Another thing is that there are A LOT of narcissists who project their narcissistic personality onto the victim (scapegoat) and A LOT of narcisists who are the abusers and who think they are the ones who suffered narcissistic abuse. I know from experience.
The Karpman Drama Triangle (Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer) seems a mainstay in narcissistic relationships, at least in my experience with the several I've had. I'd much rather be alone if I'm condemned to repeat history one more time
mr macho, thought he had me in his back pocket and I said this * your pretty blue eyes are not doing it for me* and yes, he has beautiful blues eyes lol
Just say No once and... watch what happens. You will then...Understand!
No contact is the door slam for the empath
If I ever do greywalling or no contact, I am called an abuser because according to them "silent treatment" is abuse. It's very difficut to explain to other people why I feel I HAVE to do it.
Thanks for the reminder to stay strong with my no contact decision. Going on two years. I'm related to the narcissist, and going no contact has pretty much cut me off from my whole family. It's hard to hang in there, but I still have to.
@catserver8577 Same here. Congratulations, 2 years and getting stronger. It’s pretty disappointing when family aligns and supports the most toxic, sick, loud-mouthed person without even a check-in with you. It hurts and it’s lonely. However, now I’m grateful when individuals out themselves as being on the Opposition Team, (✅ thought so and thank you). Sometimes our tribe is not blood related, you’re not alone.
I'm really glad that I haven't been able to go no contact. It's really taught me to learn how to have peace in spite of them, manage relationships with difficult people and continue going where I want to go whether theyre there or not.
@@YeshuaIsTheTruth I am glad you have managed to be so strong. This has gone on in our family for over fifty years, I just had to take a darn break.
@@gracerules2423 It's sad, but I understand that my family is still under their thrall for whatever reason. That is their struggle though.
I so wish these existed back in 2005-2007 when I was married to one and her mother... I can only say it was soul destroying. They just backed each other up, made up whatever lies suited them, supported their obvious untruths... I really thought I'd found love, instead I just found mental torture.
They only understand the language of ruthlessness.. and the anger storm that they created in our brain
Last time I tried silence he says “ what? aren’t you speaking to me?” And I said sure I am. I didn’t realize that was a question. He immediately shut up. Full stop. I walked away because, of course, it was some snotty comment meant to start an argument.
I need to smile a lot. So I can see it is inviting when we speak
Thanks for these; I do several of these naturally, but hadn't known what worked
Hearing swear words shouted around me even if not at or towards me hurts my ears. 👂 I have sensitive ears. It pains me to hear, especially in front of anyone’s children. But people have a right to say what they want and how they want. That’s fine. It’s not up to them to manage my feelings or change my pain. I also have a right - to leave the room or building or area for a little while until that language dies down and I feel comfortable returning. Then I don’t have to hear it and we don’t have to argue.
Within 3 times, this silent demonstration began having a desired effect in calming the household.
It’s not right for everybody. Some narcs it just enrages to loose control when you make the decision for yourself to leave their earshot. So you have to feel it out carefully.
I began by simply averting my eyes. From the tantrum. That helped a little. Then I gathered the courage to slowly turn my shoulder… then my back. And finally watch my feet walk towards the door.
Thank you for this! Great tips ❤
this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you
Some of these are definitely worth a try, although I think I'll skip some that sounded a bit too manipulative for my taste. In any case, from my experience, silence truly is golden 🏅
I understand, and thanks for the super thanks! 🙏❤️
This is one of your best ! Thank you 🙏🏻
You're such a lovely soul
Once coping skills are learned. That uncomfortable feeling when we first start to establish healthy boundaries will become less and less uncomfortable. It really does. Journaling is helpful to see my own progress
good video yet again, thank you love ❤️
They notice silence though. They call it out...
This is so helpful and so right on!
Yeah I have the biggest problem with unfortunately my 2 adult different dad stepchildren. Narsassistic to their core. And know how to wrap their mothers fingers like expensive sea fishing line.
Sometimes you have to deal with narcissists behavior on forums or through texting. I guess not replying or ignoring? Blocking, unfollowing? I find replying aggravates them. Or they ghost or don't reply and I feel they get satisfaction from that. I can turn the tables on them.
My go-to consequence when dealing with these narcs especially in my family is a pop up dose of loudly resonating public embarrassment, dealt casually, with the utmost control. 😅 Try again... What else you've got? Lol
Almost all of your suggestions run the line between autistic masking or neurotypical behaviors 😂 It's like a game if how well can you mask? They would KNOW the second I tried to MASK SO HARD😅
Best just to leave
What to do for a weekend long wedding for a close friend but ex and his friends will be there. Would rather avoid completely as you said but the bride and my close friends will not understand and be hurt I won’t just deal with it for the occasion.
Thank you!!
When I would go to visit the narcissist ( was a long distance relationship) I would always bring a book to read and my journal. I didn't realize then what was going on nor that he was a covert malignant narcissist, however I did feel nervous at times and books are my comfort, my journal and pencils to draw or write. I thought the nervousness was because it was a new relationship and I was single for many years prior to him. But now looking back my body and energy knew something was off. When I felt uneasy or if I felt like I was being ignored I had my book and I would start writing. Well I must say that made him stop what he was doing because I wasn't paying attention to him and his game didn't work in those moments, sometimes he would leave the room. 😂
I feel the body language tips are great with people that are just toxic, but not with people who have NPD as they notoriously have trouble reading body language, and social ques. It's easier to just be politely blunt and let them know "it would be nice to catch up, but I have another obligation at this time." All this sugarcoated dancing honestly just wastes time with people like this.
I have walked away many times. As easy as 1,2,3 she goes on and starts a relation with an other. After years she comes back saving she was wrong and learned and found out that she only wants me and i am her true love.!!
When she does not drink ( during the day) she is lovely, kind and all the good stuff, after 1600 she starts drinking and gets pure evil,
It's hard to avoid them when they are an obsessed neighbour who is apoplectic with rage because you know what they are and literally hunt you.
If the narcissist is a parent, it’s so much harder.
Here's a boundary... don't live stay with narcissists
Ignoring, acting like they are not there and you don't need them, is SO much fun. Expect flying monkeys to come up with flimsy reasons to "stop by" and spy. Tell the FMs anything you want them to know. nothing. This destroys them. One of their tactics is surprise, so prepare things like "Wow, you look younger every time I see you! What's your secret ?" They eat that up like a free steak dinner.
NO is a full sentence
Do not use the word boundaries...okay.
No contact is in play and peaceful.
What if they don’t care about consequences.. meaning they move on with their lives.
That’s typically a good thing if they’re abusive but if you need them to stay around, you may need a bit of a different approach 🙏❤️
@ I don’t need him financially or for any other reason.
Your boundaries are to protect you not to punish them! You have to ask yourself a hard question: why would you want someone like that in your life? There's parts of you that are unhealed that still resonates with them. Pray! Ask God for strength!
You got this and God got you❤️
Your first suggestion is simply bad. Be specific about your boundary, call it a boundary, and if the person crosses it, remove them from your life.
Coming from someone who moved far away from everyone. It's possible.
And most of the time all this narcissist can be seen in love
For me the museum curator act tends to work best unless it is an I don't want to become a ghisha girl while always doing what I am told at the time. Since dads during the 1950's often came home only on weekends what are we to believe when someone tells us that we are stuck in the 1950's kind of situation. During this century. I don't know about you too when not wanting to babysit. For sure sometimes silently leaving our own suite while taking way too long in the bathroom and then slipping out the door to let them figure it out while wondering who all else might be showing up there too like maybe a couple of policemen to do a welfare check well then they can explain that to them. If that welfare check included a mental health nurse then guess what is going to happen when we are not interested or not needing to recieve any mind altering prescription they are offering. So when that kind of team comes over the best set of words is to give them a tour of what kind of maintenance tasks have been done in your place so far. Like your children and brothers and the MEtis nation too helping with the renovations and me chopping down some trees threatening the power lines and the one corner of the neighbors garage too they might soon with their guns too decide to move on. Most of all if after one of them starts trying to become head cook all of a sudden too after marching into the next room while not sticking with the welfare check team to lie about who had to turn only a simmering pot of food on the stove after they all showed up 2 hours late for allegedly only an appointment with a social worker alone during COVID-19 rules then they might all decide to move one sooner. When they are alll saying, I've got somewhere else to be. When they leave to never come back again then so much the better. Unless of course during the next welfare check with too many on the team for the next context involving a teenager who isn't yours who is a stranger to you who was carrying a gun used against the team of cops with guns too then sending condolences to the policemen who were lost would be the right thing to do after that. True story. During COVID-19 up here in Edmonton, Alberta Canada when in 2 offices they hadn't got word yet that I had already visited the doctor elsewhere at the time while a waiting for an appointment for some medical laboratory tests after passing a kidney stone for a day. While not runnning a fever at the time. AFter being told many decades earlier by a person from that kind of crowd that I am doomed to be a forever till the day I die needing to take psychiatric drugs after hearing from my first violent husband about how that was all my fault well then that is their own problem when preferring instead to visit me when overmedicated well then my silence when not calling them at all could of course cause them to become way too curious while breaking in while we are away well then guess what the neighbors are going to be doing about that. You guessed it. Callling the police or coming over to ask why they are there. Police then saying that they lost their cat wouldn't go over well with the neighbors at all.
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if you're seeing this comment, it might be a sign to read 'Magnetic Aura' from Talesio ❤️
Well said, well put ....so true ...Just disappear
Silent 🤫
I didn't think you can set boundaries just because you exspect it to be a boundary and exspect it to be seen as one by others ?
This is really good video/support and helpful but I'm sorry this is WAY too much work in handling a narc. Sorry to sound naive but what's wrong with just living & being to enjoy life? I would suggest just block them and delete then live life. It's ridiculous & draining to deal with an evil/toxic spirit. Move on and let God & time deal with the narc. ❤️ (if not possible then 100% utilise gray rock but takecare of yourself as u are designed to let light shine through you in this dark World not allow anyone to dim it. 🙏
Irrelevant aka Non-Factor 😂😂😂
its hard to put into words, but the book Magnetic Aura from Talesio completely changed my life and it's not new age bs
Imagine some narcissist watching this .😢
most of them are. but they are clueless they are the narcissist
And don't forget to yawn once in a while... ? :)
This was such toxic advise. Its exactpy how covert narcs act.
Better grow up and learn to use words instead of teaching others to be passive agressive.
I found it sad to see these methods being promoted om this channel.
What would you do instead?😒
@mesalouis8976 It depends on the situation, but making others feel unimportant and being dismissive towards them is not the answer. If you give ke a specific example I am happy to share my approach with you.
Shilling Better Help, really? The website known to have allowed unlicensed "therapists" with no education in the subject have access to vulnerale people? Actually, what *are* Christina's credentials? I've looked on her youtube profile AND website, and no credentials to be doing this kind of thing are listed. It's couched in confusing language, calling her a "specialist" but not listing where she was trained, or how. On top of that, her services cost as much as an actual therapist's, AND she's shilling AI?
I'm pretty mad to see this person taking advantage of people who have been through bad relationships. Like, I'm just trying to recover and take care of my mental health, lady. I'm not saying her advice is trash, but I am saying that I'm pretty sure lady is working the same grift as all the other channels that focus only on this single mental health topic.
If you're recovering from a narcisstic relationship in your life, get a real therapist. You're worth investing in yourself, and I believe that you can break free.
If you think I just have a problem with this lady, pay attention to what the algo feeds you next. There's a rabbit hole that leads to videos about how you can just tell a narcissist by looking at their eyes or facial structure. The kind of modern phrenology that just leads to breaking brains.
This is TH-cam. Not a single human on the planet is forcing you to listen to anything that you don't want to listen to. Haha, you're funny and cute.
Its funny how you went out of your way to attempt to discredit her😒
As stated above, this is TH-cam and you are not forced to listen! Get a life!
You have yet to graduate, you have no credentials, no have you accomplished anything of significant value.
Listen to Sam Vaknin- a diagnosed Narcissist and a Clinical Psychologist. He's also a visiting Professor of Psychology, everything he says is free, tried and true. He says, if you go to a therapist, find one who specializes in trauma or personality disturbances. I find him very helpful. The Little Shaman makes good points, but I'm not sure what qualifications she has. Good luck!!
I find it hilarious and naive that people think therapists understand Narcs better than those with lived experience.
So go no contact but until then subtly abuse the narcissist. Terrible advice.