I feel bad for the animals. Not the dinosaurs but real world animals that have to now contend with an invasive species for territory and food. I don't even want to think about the pets getting eaten by some random raptor. Thanks, Clone Girl.
I hoped Clone Girl is happy with herself. The damage she did too the world, the millions of families she destroyed when her dino friends killed someone. Wish some dino survivors meet her and it's brought up she let them out and the survivor flips out. Clone girl screwed the world so hard and it sounds like she suffered zero consequences for corn holeing the world.
They could've made this really deep philosophical movie but instead they went with the generic overplayed action story with yet another "park" and prehistoric bugs
When the prologue mentioned how many people the dinosaurs have killed, I thought Maisie was going to be dealing with her guilt over that and regretting her decision to let the dinosaurs out. But no. It never even comes up.
@@thoriasunlimited4053 Can't blame an idiot kid, and she's a woman so that's double protection there. Plus it would make sense but nope, being a clone makes you absolved of any guilt. Sides everyone that died wasn't a clone so why should she care.
@@thoriasunlimited4053 Most environmentalists probably wouldn't lose much sleep if they saved a wildlife preserve and one of the animals they saved killed a person. Certainly no reason for a kid to feel guilty about it. Saving the raptors and the WTFasurus probably wasn't the main goal. I have more of an issue with setting up shop right next to Blue if they didn't trust her completely while taking care of a kid. People in farm country might know there are mountain lions in the general area, but they aren't going to let an apex predator make their immediate back yard their hunting ground - they're going to trap and relocate it - or kill it.
Malcolm was right. Hell he’s always been right. The first Jurassic Park was the masterpiece and the rest gotten worse as time passed. They minus well have called it Jurassic World: Plague of Locusts.
I liked the first Two movies and the Third was meh and although when Jurassic World came out I honestly liked it, not a lot but I liked it but after that they just shot straight down Thor's Drop and became absolute dogshit and I had the unfortunate chance of seeing this movie on the big screen.
The Jurassic Park/World franchise is a very interesting basket case for me. The first Jurassic Park is one of my all time favorite movies but you couldn't pay me to watch any of the sequels. There has never been any other franchise where I had such a huge contrast of opinion between the first movie and its sequels. It's honestly almost amazing how royally they screwed this franchise up.
I don't know what's worse in the movie, the lack of self-defense using guns, the laser pointer targeting or the ideal that animals would easily coexist with dinosaurs.
I believe, a normal ginger lady who worked most of her time in a lab being able to outrun murder horny Atrociraptors Or Own acting as if he could die from a planecrash when he survived being engulfed by pyrocastic flow
@@metalguyver1969 we both bud. But well, this movie to me was doomed from start. There were like, 20 dinos only on thay guy farm, now is like dinos pop up from air for people to breed them with, and well, no way in hell military couldn't kill all dinos in a week with heavy armament
The idea that dinosaurs would pose a long term threat to almost 8 billion humans is so unrealistic. We would hunt them down so fast with everything we've got that we'd relegate them to a second extinction in a matter of months, tops. Also, to pose a serious threat they'd need to breed faster than we'd kill them... and that's also not really doable. So... well, the writers should be amazingly talented if they wanted to pull off a story like that in a semi credible way. It would make for an interesting VS movie... I.e. Jurassic Park VS Predator 🤣
Or it should be a race to "save" them let's be fair most people would say "hunt those ba!@#$s to extinction." Just have it be that to capture them and then shove them to an island again. Some black market group that hunts them to sell them and you can have a funny littel movie the plot just makes no sense at this point.
100% right. When I heard about the ending to Fallen Kingdom (Didn't watch it looked dumb, people trying to save animals on a volcanic island) where the dinosaurs escape and go to the mainland, my first though was "so we are just going to hunt them down ?". Like wtf is a group raptors to an actual tank, or gunship? I could not even take the premise seriously, so I am glad Thorias ripped this movie apart.
AND what they did do with the dinosaurs was absolutely asinine. Owen on a motorcycle can barely outrun the same dinosaurs that Bryce (Name?) is outrunning on foot. What?
It pisses me off that the movie spent more time on some locust side plot instead of dinos coexisting with the world. You know, the thing this whole trilogy has led up to?
It's like Colin just selfishly took ideas from future movies and crammed them into this one since it's his last movie like how Speilberg just had to have a Trex on the mainland because he knew he wasn't coming back to direct
I couldn't believe it. The locust plot comes right the hell out of nowhere and all the build up to dinosaurs actually being out in the world is completely wasted.
To quote Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park (1993): *"That is one big pile of shit!"* Seriously, after Dominion I came to the conclusion that Jurassic Park shouldn't have been a Franchise in the first place. It should have been a one and done film and that's it. The same goes for Jaws and Highlander.
Yep, Jurassic Park was ment to be one movie/book. But fans begged for a sequel movie/book and they got it with mixed results. Universal on the hand decided, JP is our franchise.
One and done, I can say that about a lot of movies, or even franchises that should have stopped, like Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade, ending the franchise with the heros riding into the sunset, can't top a finale like that, but somehow Hollywood is trying to reboot it a second time!
I agree their bad but I doubt it's quite as lore/story breakingly bad as the Sequel Trilogy. That shit's honestly more on par with the sequels to Highlander.
@@death-king1834 I actually like The Force Awakes and Jurassic World. The Last Jedi and Fallen Kingdom were so awful that they were a disgrace to the franchise. And The Rise of Skywalker and Dominion were terrible conclusions to the franchise.
@@RE-ol5ws Dominion works better as a conclusion than Rise Of The Fake Skywalker because in Fake Skywalker the galaxy is left exactly where it was at the end of ROTJ where the Sith are eradicated, one fledgling Jedi is left to rebuild the order and the galaxy is free from Imperial tyranny. Basically it added nothing to the story
@@kuhanblock9380 It esstentially retconned everything in the OT as well as what was built up in the Prequels just to make Mary Rey Sue Palpatine the true hero of the Saga.
A note on the weaponized dinosaurs: I know where this came from. Before Jurassic World, the original script had - I am not kidding here - cyborg dinosaurs. It's a remnant from that. That sad part is while they didn't do that for fear of looking too silly, if the Dinosaurs had steel plated armor and weapons I could at least buy the militarization thing more.
Not cyborg dinosaurs dude. Human dinosaur hybrids with guns for limbs. Instead of redeeming Wu they should've leaned into his insanity. His work has been plagiarized all over the world so to stay relevant he wants to innovate further by making these human dino hybrids but they keep dying so that's why he needs Maisie and Beta. Everyone calls him out on his craziness and when he's monologuing, Blue kills him
"If you're a good guy, you've got plot armor that's so tough, even the T-Rex's teeth can't penetrate it." That's where the villains unleash their new weapon. The one thing that can wound even Batwoman's plot armor *The Doot-asaur!*
A simple plot that could have worked really well: An attempt to corral and relocate the Giganotosaurus goes wrong, and it moves into a new territory: an isolated valley where Owen and Clair are living, working with dinosaurs, studying how to live with them on a larger societal scale or something. They've even figured out how to get along with Rexy (not "befriend like a pet," but at least where they don't have to panic every time they hear the footsteps). The newcomer throws the territory into chaos, and things start getting dangerous in a hurry. The plan: Get as many people out as possible, then deal with the Giganotosaurus and restore balance to their little dominion. Small, simple, and the dinosaurs matter. Could have worked really well. Not much of an excuse for the original cast to return, but so what?
They could've also followed up on the dino mind control thing from Camp Cretaceous. Have BioSyn plant chips into dinosaurs so that only they can capture them. Alan, Ellie and Ian notice this so they try to uncover the truth behind why the dinosaurs are acting really strange (aggressive and moving in weird formations). After getting one of the chips they take it to Lex to hack and find out where it came from. BioSyn catches wind of this so they kidnap all of them before they can do anything about it and that's how they end up at the valley
@@JustKelso1993 I'm not saying she'd be a pet, but they could have a few tricks to keep her disinterested in their homes, and keep themselves safely off the menu in her territory.
Writers: "so in this new dinosaur movie we're going to take the focus away from the dinosaurs and focus on these prehistoric insects made by a rival corporation and they need clone girl's blood to control them." Sensible audience: "...why?" Writers: "stop asking so many fucking questions!"
Well you can give dominion credit for one thing….at least the legacy characters did have scenes together,that’s more then you can say for the Star Wars “Rey”trilogy.
I didn't like how they treated Alan in this movie. For starters why is he still digging up bones when the field was drying up back in JP3. After Jurassic World opened you'd think paleontology would be extinct and that Alan would be happily retired. They also made him this out of touch love sick puppy, even that would've been ok if they had a scene where they explain why Alan and Ellie never got together like maybe they could confirm he was sterile and couldn't give her kids.
I almost mentioned that in the video actually, but it didn't make the final draft. What the movie did with the legacy characters wasn't great, but, hey, at least they were together.
@@thoriasunlimited4053 agreed. I agree with what said about them,Sam looked as though he didn’t even want to be there and Jeff was just off. Laura felt like the only one trying to enjoy herself. And I’m sorry but that twist/recon of Maisie was just stupid,I even said that in theaters.
Really doesn’t matter when the execution is this bad. Though if there’s anything I can give The Jurassic World Trilogy (apart from the first one being decent), at least the Evolution games are pretty good
I stopped watching the movies after Jurassic World. I only paid to watch the original Jurassic Park and Jurassic World. I only went to Jurassic World because I was hoping that a new crew might do a better job because I was disappointed in the sequels. I left the movie wondering how it's possible to write a script with only 2 brain cells.
Here's my take on "dominion". I love it that there's more to dinosaurs that there has been a lot recently in the film but I hate it on the fact that part of it felt like an actual Jurassic Park movie based upon the suspense and horror but also how their less Focus about the dangers of it and more on locusts.
Diversity hire strong woman gay pilot and a red head that parkours over the roofs of Malta while out running a raptor that caught up to a motorcycle and a plane. Oh, and Locust. On fire.
I actually liked Kayla but yeah I agree about how stupid it was to have Claire be able to outrun the Atrociraptors while Owen was full throttle on his bike, escaping by the skin of his teeth
Fallen kingdom has already lost my interest for the franchise when they introduced freaking animal rights activists rallying for the genetic montrosities that doesn't belong in modern times.
The sound you made in the beginning was literally how I felt after coming out of this mess of a movie. I went to see this movie because I and many like me had been through a shitty year due to the pandemic. At this point, we don't really care what the movie is released, we just want to get out the house and have some entertainment. I fully support the "turning your brain off during a pop corn flick" mindset but this movie is where I draw the line. I grew up watching Jurassic Park series and I fully enjoyed Jurassic World despite its flaws. Fallen Kingdom was super dumb but at least it was somewhat consistent. THIS MOVIE, however, is a fucking mess. You basically summed up this movie: Imagine making a dinosaur movie NOT FOCUSING on the dinosaurs themselves. By the way, have anyone noticed a certain pattern in the entertainment industry yet? Making games and movies without making the ONE thing that makes them good and enjoyable the focus of those games and movies. Just look at Star Wars, Lord of The Rings, Halo, The Last of Us 2, He-man, and many more. It is almost as if these writers, directors, and creators are doing this ON PURPOSE at this point.
Man, I didn't want to watch this because I figured it was dumb that modern militaries - with all their modern equipment - couldn't manage the dinosaur problem. But you're saying it's even the dumber than that? Yikes.
Yup. From the outset, the dinos are just new nuisances that people have to deal with. Leading the Apatosaurus out of your construction zone, for instance. The real threat is bioengineered giant locusts that eat all crops except those produced by one corporation (the government suspects nothing and its up to one plucky middle aged scientist to investigate). Also they burn like their innards are soaked in kerosene and can survive for several minutes in this state. But they're breeding faster than expected, so must kidnap clone girl and a baby raptor to be able to engineer a solution. Everything else is just action movie set pieces that no one even thought to consult so much as a middle school dinosaur enthusiasts about (they would have known more about real dinosaurs than the actual film makers).
It's really dumb, because I highly doubt the military would sit on their ass & just watch Dinosaurs wreck havoc on society. Plus, Dinosaurs are no aliens, so the military could easily wipe them out in a few days.
A Jurassic movie without Dinosaurs? Seriously just make a new story already. "That paint sniffing chimp was hording all the brain power."-The most adequate description of modern day leadership I have ever seen.
It's fun to read a lot of the negative criticisms of this movie in an Ian Malcolm voice since that was essentially his job, to call out how absurd things in this movie are
People keep going to see these things because their standards for entertainment is so low as well as brand loyalty. People will go see this movie just because it is Jurassic Park. The old characters that we grew up with are there for nostalgia bait and people bought it. Because sadly, for some that is enough. Throw some nostalgia on screen and people will praise the movie. Also, not enough people demand better out of entertainment anymore. Movies, video games, people will keep buying into it, a lot of times it has to due with hype, and reach for whatever excuse to defend their purchase.
They actually had an interesting premise: Dinosaurs living alongside humans. But they were like nah, lets make a movie exactly like every other jurassic park where the protagonists still spend the whole movie in a park. And lets make the most dangerous thing in the movie lokusses and only imply that there is a sence of urgency
I really wish you would cut to the chase and just tell us how you really feel. 🤪 Glad you didn’t blow a gasket! I was actually on the fence about going to see it and you just convinced me it’s not worth wasting my time. Thanks! 👏🏼 Although, I’m sorry to hear that you had to suffer through it!
No one hated Fallen Kingdom more than the people producing the damn thing, they hated how all people wanted was more, bigger dinos. No room for creativity. So in a weird way, this film might be as sh*t as it is because the cast agrees with you. This movie might actually be the biggest, most deliberate, act of the screen writers sh*tting on the public because they refuse to let this franchise die. People who actually want to work on actually interesting films, doing everything they can to finally shut this project down.
I was okay about Jurassic world. A little jump the shark for me, but they had some good ideas and some decent moments. I don't know what changed but Fallen Kingdom was absolutely positively horrifically and aggressively mediocre. Until I saw that movie, I never thought in a million years that I would ever find running away from carnivorous dinosaurs as they chase you through a jungle could get boring and dull... and the ending is just Palm slapping stupid
I remember a tv series from 10 or something years ago, it had people traveling in time to live in the past with dinosaurs but they made the same mistake of pretending that dinosaurs are a threat against fully armed humans.
I've watched Fallen Kingdom twice, the first time I couldn't even finish the movie as I couldn't endure so much stupidity, the second time I forced myself to watch and finish the movie, until you mentioned it I had no idea Maisie was a clone. Whatthefuckasaurus HAHA brilliant
I hated Jurassic World since the first movie. Everyone made fun of me for hating it, and now we have this garbage. Congratulations, you played yourself.
I really feel like a rematch between the spinosaurus and T-Rex should’ve happened in this movie. It would make the “final” Jurassic World movie fight feel more meaningful to the audience and have more depth/history to it. I mean they literally had a logo change for Jurassic Park 3 Ex) The Trex and spinosaurus go at it one more time this time the T. Rex wins but doesn’t kill the spinosaurus. That way the final score between those Dinos is 1-1. But in the end team up for the sake of taking out some genetic hybrid Monster part giganotosaurus,allosaurus tyrannosaurus, Spinosaurus, Albertosaurus, Carnotaurus, and raptor. (basically some new company was trying to make the perfect Apex dinosaur). That thing is obviously “evil” and just out of control (similar to Indominus but obviously more deadly) throwing the natural order way out of balance forcing the real Apex predators to team up and take it down I guess blue can be also part of it also. Thus ending the T-Rex and spinosaurus rivalry and they both go their separate ways seemingly now at peace with each others existence. This fight would give the 2 logo stars of the jurassic movies a nice send off, with a better Raptor send off. A meaningful and deep end to the entire Jurassic movie franchise for the dinosaurs at least. The humans although in the actual movie did get a satisfying happy ending imo. After the humans have their scene reuniting and happy ending for them. , last Seane could start off with several longneck dinosaurs just walking somewhere, then transitions to all these other dinosaurs with modern animals sort of like shown in the movie. Then show the spinosaurus somewhere and roars, then a transition to blue and beta running somewhere blue stops and starts doing that raptor call. Then it ends with a T Rex top of a cliff or something overlooking a city, with its family behind it then main one roars then *cut end of movie*.
@@JustKelso1993 That would be terrible to most of the audience. 😕 but I get it it’s your favorite Dino or at least you like the spinosaurus a lot more and T Rex. But narratively speaking that would be a terrible decision it already got 1 win.
Totally agree! Reluctantly saw this film with a mate who's a huge fan. Plot holes so large that a T-rex could fit through easily. Dumb and cheesy, especially the final scenes. It's completely illogical that humans and dinosaurs can co exist. And who knew that locusts were fire proof?
It's like today film makers are allergic to following up on plot points they set up in movies befor. Maybe they are just allergic to plot in general now that I think about it.
The sad thing is, I’ve thought having the dinosaurs let loose into the wild and reintroduced to our world is the plot line that should of happened with the first movie in the modem trilogy. There should of been a natural disaster like Planet of the Apes that killed off many animals so dinosaurs were used to replace some animals. Now humanity has to deal with living with dinosaurs maybe like 100 years after the first original movie. They should of taken risks and moved the world forward with this new trilogy. I mean, Jurassic World was basically a rehash of Jurassic Park… Jurassic Park 3 had more dinos in the world than Jurassic World.
11:11 "Dinosaurs aren't special anymore" is probably the most frustrating and annoying part about Universal basically having a monopoly on dinosaur movies through the Jurassic IP. Dinosaurs were really amazing animals and we want that sense of awe and wonder seeing them on the big screen. But time after time each Jurassic sequel does the opposite and takes away that sense with how stupid and convoluted they make the plot. I wish more film makers who actually know what their doing would tap in to dinosaurs since Universal is doing such a terrible job at it. At least for now we have "Prehistoric Planet" documentary series that does an excellent job portraying dinosaurs and making them interesting and enjoyable to watch but a documentary is not everyone's cup of tea.
You’d think Misquotes would be more scary and more poetic of an inclusion. Locust is kinda out of left field. Prehistoric misquotes passing on a prehistoric virus that only dinosaurs are immune to would’ve been a riveting idea. Oh well
Hell, I would have loved to see military vs dinosaurs. That would have been fun to watch. Imagine a intense scene where a bunch of soldies enter a forest area and they hunt down dangerous & inteligent velociraptrors. Some soldiers are getting jumped & killed off by raptors from different directions. While some managed to kill some of them off cause no animal can survive over 100 M4A1 bulltets.
Holy shiatsu! I felt like I was missing something when watching it. I totally forgot about Fallen Kingdom and had to read up on it to remember seeing it.
I haven't seen it. Because when I saw fallen kingdom there were scenes that felt like I was watching the previous movie. Even though that was my first and last time watching fallen kingdom. Those scenes I knew how they were going to end before they ended. Thing is those scenes weren't shown in the trailers.
I honestly think that they were trying to make reference to the Biosyn Chile rabbis vaccine that was in the novels’ backstory with the weird locust plot line, but that kind of stuff is history for Biosyn, not present day. They needed to go back to the novels, but not in this way.
It baffles me that they did absolutely nothing with the free roaming dinosaurs. I knew this movie wasn't gonna be great after Fallen Kingdom, but I thought I'd at least get a decent premise
I saw the movie today and I enjoyed it even though it seems like a lot of people didn't. Unlike Disney Star Wars they did bring back the main 3 from the original and they did show them some respect. Did anyone else make the connection between Dodson and Dennis Nedry from the original movie - and how they both died in almost the exact same manner.
How could you not make the connection, of the MANY complaints I have against Dominion one one the forefront is that constant nod's to previous and better Jurassic movies...Remember how Nedry died? Now Dodgson dies the same way in a twist of karmic justice! Remember when Malcolm was injured and posing semi provocatively in the control of Jurassic Park? Well here's a commentary about his unbuttoned shirt in Dominion! Remember how Grant is an old fashioned guy who hates technology and computers? Wouldn't it be great if we made him have a absolutely hilarious back and fourth with a stereotypical millennial over what kind of soy milk he wants in his coffee because Grant would never want anything like that!.....Over and over and over, this movie brow beat people with remember this!? Remember that?! No one in the movie even felt like a real human, just caricatures.
They could have easily, easily made some sort of plot about getting everyone together to solve the scary Dino problem, figuring out a solution, the showing how Dino’s and people can get along now. Sad.
they should have fallowed the Jurassic park novels, And just kill off the Dinosaurs with an air strike like the books did. which would have been great . with the question being can dinosaurs and humans live together which the answer was No. Since dinosaurs where more bird like then reptile. there speed was much quicker then the Scientist thought .
@@TryingToWakeUp-qb7iu I believe a lot of the people hating on the film are only doing so to feel good about themselves. It's cool to be cynical nowadays, and nitpicking plot holes is now considered more enjoyable than just delighting at a fun movie. One could similarly tear apart the original film's plot holes. But nobody does so because the film is so good that those plot holes don't matter. And yet with every film in the franchise released since then, people have increasingly relied on nitpicking plot holes instead of assessing how enjoyable the film actually is.
@@TryingToWakeUp-qb7iu Not really. It wasn't my favorite restaurant, but I did enjoy In-N-Out Burger, and, as a corporate employee of the company, I was able to eat it every workday-five times a week. In the 1.25 years I worked there, I always continued to enjoy eating it. Then again, I grew up eating my mom's terribly bland cooking, so maybe I am just less spoiled than most.
@@TryingToWakeUp-qb7iu Considering this is a new movie, your analogy falls flat. No, it's not truly original. Then again, no movie is. Even the original film followed in the footsteps of its predecessors. This new movie was original and interesting enough for me to enjoy it, and I think if could let yourself just enjoy something without casting a critical eye on everything, you could enjoy it too, without having to "turn off your brain". It obviously doesn't compare to the 1993 film, but not every meal has to be your favorite meal in the world in order to be enjoyed and appreciated. If you didn't enjoy it, that's fine, but I don't appreciate basically being called dumb simply because I was able to enjoy the film. Gratitude is a great thing, and the world would be a better place if we were all more grateful and less critical.
My absolute biggest gripe about the movie is also the only strong point the movie has imo.. the dinos Gripe: Two part.. 1. There's legit zero hints of some of these species in the first Jurassic world, Dimetrodon? Where..? Ostrich Wolverine? Where..? The Giga?? Even the super pterodon came outta the blue.. what's the time lapse also? Because there was at most maybe 50 dinos that escaped from the mansion (which just makes it weirder seeing the variety in Dominion) so how the hell did they multiply and grow so fast? 2. Not ENOUGH focus on the dinos, instead they focused on the X-Files rip-off locusts (they were enhanced bees in the X-Files, not only just the premise but even the entire escape scene was practically "Yeh you can copy my hw but change it up so it doesn't look like its copied" to the T). Strong Point: Dino variety, even though they made no sense.. they were cool to see because the most variety in dinos on screen ever was always the "Walking With Dinosaurs" series, so it was impressive seeing what top dollar CG budgets can do with dinos. They seriously can't let the militarized dinos go huh..? Spent the entire trilogy saying "LOOK they can be awesome assets on the field" well.. no.. they can't. Would you have trusted a team of raptors that only vaguely listen to Mr Wavy Hand to take out Bin Laden? Probably not. I know sci-fi movies can't escape the whole "the monster's bulletproof" cliche' but they are still made of flesh and bone.. I'm sure even a 9mm would do dmg to a Rex (granted if you aim at the head, should at least discourage the animal to deter them from continuing to attack) so putting them up against an enemy unit equipped with 7.62s.. .308.. Hell, even 50 cals would decimate any dino unit.. A handgun took Blue down enough to neutralize her. Actually you know what? Not even bullets tbh.. simple, basic claymores would do them in because obviously they're just more vicious attack dogs.. they won't spot a tripwire.. why they kept clinging to this use for them is beyond me. Whatever this movie is.. They went the entirely wrong route with lol The film has a ton of egregious events.. How do dinos work in this movie btw? What's it called.. the pyroraptor? Aren't these things cold-blooded? The hell is this thing doing breaking through ice swimming like Phelps in freezing cold water? How did Owen not at least get a hint of hypothermia btw? Dinos follow man-made airspace? What? Of all people they coulda brought back.. Dodson? Really? Wasn't he just a random lackey from a rival company in the first JP? Um.. you know that meme "Raptor Jesus"? Meet Beta.. LOL Can Hollywood seriously do something about plot armor.. It's reaching absurd levels at this point.. Nostalgia bait.. I'm at my wit's end with nostalgia bait, whenever I see returning characters I automatically assume it's bait because the movie's gonna be trash. Owen choked out a dilophosaurus.. ever held your dog by the muzzle/snout when playing? They shake and use their front paws to get ya to let go..? Essentially Owen would've had his arm shredded by a panicked dilophosaurus worst than the mech team leader from Matrix Revolutions.. I wouldn't have had a problem with this scene if 1. Owen jumped on its back giving it a rear naked choke, would've at least made MORE sense that the one handed choke from the side and 2. The slow build up to Claire slowly sinking to the floor into eye level with the dilophosaurus that was just waiting there for her to notice it was so dumb.. I actively felt like I was watching a QTE from the Jurassic Park Telltale game.. if they sped it up some it wouldn't have felt like forced tension. The forced tension bothered me some.. Claire was put in the only ejection seat in the plane to land in Ostrich Wolverine's patch of forest just to once again force tension with her creeping away and the Ostrich Wolverine basically fucks off, no kind of chase scene at least.. I dunno, was just odd. Dimetrodon scene.. I actually liked it but I couldn't shake the feeling that this movie felt like Star Wars.. Evil Steve Jobs literally dropped the group into a Rancor pit but with dimetrodons instead.. The smuggler captain they met in a bar/cantina? Fem Solo? The hand thing suddenly everyone can do it..? So "everyone has the force" reference? Feels like an amalgamation of so many movies that it's rather cringe. Another franchise down the drain.. and they started off so promising too.. It's like Hollywood is in a competition for the worst movie possible. Only positive side of this one is that it helped me forget how terrible Matrix Resurrections was.. now I just need another movie to erase this one from memory lol This is on par with Rise of Skywalker and Matrix Resurrections.. It's so sad..
I truly believe they should go the Dino Crisis 1 or 2 route. 2 would give a good reason why Dinos are all over the world because of the time portal aspect of the game. They could just have random portals open everywhere. It would introduce new characters….the marines that have to go in and shut down the machine, and the surviving people on the island.
I have to go because of my Dad. I gave up on these movies a looong time ago, but he saw there was a new Jurassic Park movie coming out and got so excited. Unfortunately I drew the short straw out of my siblings... :( Wonder if I can leave him in there and then sneak out and go watch Sonic instead...
There was never a movie more deserving of an epic rant like this! I’m tempted to say that watching this rant makes the 45 minutes I watched of this abomination of a movie worth the while 😄 (had to leave the theatre after 45 minutes because I felt the stupidity of the plot started affecting my mental well-being)
*Trailers for Jurassic world 2&3:* Dinosaurs are everywhere and dangerous! *The actual movies:* "haha you thought! here's a completely different and boring plot".
Thank God for this man. I’m glad I went to see Top Gun instead of this garbage. Although, I’d rather see the “dinosaur film” instead of the Lady Thor and regular Thor film.
I haven't had the joy of jurassic films for years. They were on an island last time I saw one. How did they get of the island? I can't write but I'm very creative will Naziwood give me a job? 6 films?? It's been a long time since I last watched one
I read a really good dinosaur book back in the 90s. I think it was just called "Raptor". It followed a female raptor through her life. I resisted reading it for a long time because I thought that sounded too weird or just bad but it's actually really good. NOT a kid's book.
I know the main point of trailers is that they are made to get people to go and see the film rather than fully sell you on the premise of the product that you are selling, I get that because that is just how Hollywood goes to keep on going. But at the very least, you do have to sell on aspects of the premise rather than selling us what is essentially the opposite of the film we are about to get because false advertising rarely works in the favour of a product. For example, while I like the character of Kamala Khan more than some of my friends do, but the marketing around that character does that character no favours especially with the recent Square Enix “Marvel’s Avengers” game where you basically sell to your customer that they are in for an Avenger experience, yet what they ended up getting is a game that many would call “Ms. Marvel and Friends” and the game had severe backlash in part of its mismarketing (as well as many other things surrounding that game). Yet this film is actually kind of worse as far as mismarketing your film goes that makes the counter-intuitive creative choices of “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” look like the inspired creative sequel choices of “The Dark Knight”, especially considering how “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” ended with the promise on the idea that we are going to get something truly different. Specifically on the idea that we are going to get a film within this franchise where we get the premise of humans learning or at least dealing with the idea of learning to co-existing with dinosaurs, which on a subtextual level could open itself to many topical issues especially on either the topic of animal rights or even the current divisive nature of Western society since the “culture war” came about. So, what does this film actually give us? A film that is essentially a repeat of “The Lost World: Jurassic Park”, where AGAIN most of the dinosaurs are contained in an isolated preserve. So where instead of natural growth within the status quo of this franchise, the three “Jurassic World” films pretty much circled back to the status quo of “The Lost World: Jurassic Park” which makes the last three installments of this franchises roughly 9 hours of my life that I have felt completely wasted because of how little growth or change that happened. How long will it take for Hollywood to realise that bait-and-switch is not a good approach to storytelling?
The giant locusts don't even kill anyone. Not even one person. The only thing they do is mentally scar the characters because , you know, giant bugs. If they wanted giant locusts then they should have had the locusts eventually develop a taste for flesh and it would be a battle of man and dinosaur vs. blood thirsty locusts.
Go extinct. Yes please. Can't believe we are still dealing with IPs that are up to and even older than 50 years old. Give it the eff up already Hollywood. That Rooftop chase between Bryce and a Raptor was the most ridiculous thing I've seen. You know what the problem is? Kids. They don't care about about story they just want to see Dinosaurs on the big screen. Parents are all to happy to oblige and the studios know this.
Went to go see a movie about Chris Pratt and some dinosaur. Instead get treated to the 'girl is the key to everything ' trope which Hollywood is obsessed with now.
I agree 100%! Dinosaurs weren’t the stars of the movie, everyone looked bored and don’t want to be there. Bad plot and plot holes. Bad choices from actors in the movie. Let me put my self in danger to get out of it 5 mins later super easy
Aw man Thorias, you're right. The first Jurassic Park movie really was the only good one. Jurassic Park shouldn't have been a franchise; but rather a one and done stand alone film.
I feel bad for the animals. Not the dinosaurs but real world animals that have to now contend with an invasive species for territory and food. I don't even want to think about the pets getting eaten by some random raptor. Thanks, Clone Girl.
Yeah the writers didn't think that one through, did they?
It's Clone Freak.
No clone could ever replace anyone, they're just vulgar copies playing pretend and that freak doomed the ecosystem
@@SamtheBravesFan absolutely not.
Na 30 bucks says the dinosaurs die off in two years as they are now in a different world.
@@superiorrule34 that makes no sense chief. Not even a little
Humans and dinosaurs living together would be a interesting story to tell. But it Sounds like the flintstones did it better.
I know old TV series that pull it off.
Brontosaurus burgers for all 👍🏼
Yeah, and the Flintstome’s made more sense.
Flintstones horror adaptation coming to a Netflix near you.
Yabadaba Doooo
I hoped Clone Girl is happy with herself. The damage she did too the world, the millions of families she destroyed when her dino friends killed someone. Wish some dino survivors meet her and it's brought up she let them out and the survivor flips out. Clone girl screwed the world so hard and it sounds like she suffered zero consequences for corn holeing the world.
They will never know what she sacrificed for them, will they? lol
They could've made this really deep philosophical movie but instead they went with the generic overplayed action story with yet another "park" and prehistoric bugs
When the prologue mentioned how many people the dinosaurs have killed, I thought Maisie was going to be dealing with her guilt over that and regretting her decision to let the dinosaurs out.
But no. It never even comes up.
@@thoriasunlimited4053 Can't blame an idiot kid, and she's a woman so that's double protection there. Plus it would make sense but nope, being a clone makes you absolved of any guilt. Sides everyone that died wasn't a clone so why should she care.
@@thoriasunlimited4053 Most environmentalists probably wouldn't lose much sleep if they saved a wildlife preserve and one of the animals they saved killed a person. Certainly no reason for a kid to feel guilty about it.
Saving the raptors and the WTFasurus probably wasn't the main goal.
I have more of an issue with setting up shop right next to Blue if they didn't trust her completely while taking care of a kid.
People in farm country might know there are mountain lions in the general area, but they aren't going to let an apex predator make their immediate back yard their hunting ground - they're going to trap and relocate it - or kill it.
Malcolm was right. Hell he’s always been right. The first Jurassic Park was the masterpiece and the rest gotten worse as time passed. They minus well have called it Jurassic World: Plague of Locusts.
Lol
If you liked this review you should check out my RANT for jurassic world dominion!!!
I liked the first Two movies and the Third was meh and although when Jurassic World came out I honestly liked it, not a lot but I liked it but after that they just shot straight down Thor's Drop and became absolute dogshit and I had the unfortunate chance of seeing this movie on the big screen.
The Jurassic Park/World franchise is a very interesting basket case for me. The first Jurassic Park is one of my all time favorite movies but you couldn't pay me to watch any of the sequels. There has never been any other franchise where I had such a huge contrast of opinion between the first movie and its sequels. It's honestly almost amazing how royally they screwed this franchise up.
They prioritized predictive programming (famine) over a cohesive story.
I don't know what's worse in the movie, the lack of self-defense using guns, the laser pointer targeting or the ideal that animals would easily coexist with dinosaurs.
I believe, a normal ginger lady who worked most of her time in a lab being able to outrun murder horny Atrociraptors
Or Own acting as if he could die from a planecrash when he survived being engulfed by pyrocastic flow
@@vcamv2354 didn't bother with the plot armor elements, otherwise...I could do this all day.
@@metalguyver1969 we both bud. But well, this movie to me was doomed from start. There were like, 20 dinos only on thay guy farm, now is like dinos pop up from air for people to breed them with, and well, no way in hell military couldn't kill all dinos in a week with heavy armament
If you liked this review you should check out my RANT for jurassic world dominion!!!
I love how the raptors could keep up with Chris Pratt on a motorbike, but couldn't seem to catch Bryce Dallas Howard on foot.
The idea that dinosaurs would pose a long term threat to almost 8 billion humans is so unrealistic. We would hunt them down so fast with everything we've got that we'd relegate them to a second extinction in a matter of months, tops. Also, to pose a serious threat they'd need to breed faster than we'd kill them... and that's also not really doable. So... well, the writers should be amazingly talented if they wanted to pull off a story like that in a semi credible way.
It would make for an interesting VS movie... I.e. Jurassic Park VS Predator 🤣
Or it should be a race to "save" them let's be fair most people would say "hunt those ba!@#$s to extinction." Just have it be that to capture them and then shove them to an island again. Some black market group that hunts them to sell them and you can have a funny littel movie the plot just makes no sense at this point.
I wouldn't put it past the environmentalists to protest for dino rights!
@@MegaMagicdog
They did it in tremors.
@@MegaMagicdog hippies suck no matter where you go.
100% right. When I heard about the ending to Fallen Kingdom (Didn't watch it looked dumb, people trying to save animals on a volcanic island) where the dinosaurs escape and go to the mainland, my first though was "so we are just going to hunt them down ?". Like wtf is a group raptors to an actual tank, or gunship?
I could not even take the premise seriously, so I am glad Thorias ripped this movie apart.
When the dinos looked way more real in the first movie than the ones 20-30 years later you have a problem
AND what they did do with the dinosaurs was absolutely asinine. Owen on a motorcycle can barely outrun the same dinosaurs that Bryce (Name?) is outrunning on foot. What?
I guess the ones chasing Bryce were just really lazy.
Because this time she's wearing boots, not heels 😂
If Owen had the right chromosomes he’d have no problem outrunning them.
It pisses me off that the movie spent more time on some locust side plot instead of dinos coexisting with the world. You know, the thing this whole trilogy has led up to?
It's like Colin just selfishly took ideas from future movies and crammed them into this one since it's his last movie like how Speilberg just had to have a Trex on the mainland because he knew he wasn't coming back to direct
I couldn't believe it. The locust plot comes right the hell out of nowhere and all the build up to dinosaurs actually being out in the world is completely wasted.
To quote Jeff Goldblum from Jurassic Park (1993): *"That is one big pile of shit!"*
Seriously, after Dominion I came to the conclusion that Jurassic Park shouldn't have been a Franchise in the first place. It should have been a one and done film and that's it.
The same goes for Jaws and Highlander.
I actually enjoyed the Jaws sequels even tho the last 2 we're dumb. They were entertaining and parts of them managed to be frightening.
Yep, Jurassic Park was ment to be one movie/book. But fans begged for a sequel movie/book and they got it with mixed results. Universal on the hand decided, JP is our franchise.
@@normadgarmez7026 la bro Steven literally wanted to make another one 😂
One and done, I can say that about a lot of movies, or even franchises that should have stopped, like Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade, ending the franchise with the heros riding into the sunset, can't top a finale like that, but somehow Hollywood is trying to reboot it a second time!
As I said many times before, the Jurassic World trilogy is basically Universal's version of the Star Wars sequel trilogy.
I agree their bad but I doubt it's quite as lore/story breakingly bad as the Sequel Trilogy. That shit's honestly more on par with the sequels to Highlander.
@@death-king1834 I actually like The Force Awakes and Jurassic World. The Last Jedi and Fallen Kingdom were so awful that they were a disgrace to the franchise. And The Rise of Skywalker and Dominion were terrible conclusions to the franchise.
If you liked this review you should check out my RANT for jurassic world dominion!!!
@@RE-ol5ws Dominion works better as a conclusion than Rise Of The Fake Skywalker because in Fake Skywalker the galaxy is left exactly where it was at the end of ROTJ where the Sith are eradicated, one fledgling Jedi is left to rebuild the order and the galaxy is free from Imperial tyranny. Basically it added nothing to the story
@@kuhanblock9380 It esstentially retconned everything in the OT as well as what was built up in the Prequels just to make Mary Rey Sue Palpatine the true hero of the Saga.
Can’t wait for the next reboot, Jurassic Galaxy
Galaxy Brains: In The Multiverse of Jurassic
Only Hollywood could make something with a title as awesome and stupid as Jurassic galaxy bad
They made that. Doctor Who episode “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship” 😂
Jurassic Galaxy S24 Dual Sim.
...
Sponsored by Samsung.
Sound like a really awesome B-movie. Or at least a mockbuster
A note on the weaponized dinosaurs: I know where this came from. Before Jurassic World, the original script had - I am not kidding here - cyborg dinosaurs. It's a remnant from that. That sad part is while they didn't do that for fear of looking too silly, if the Dinosaurs had steel plated armor and weapons I could at least buy the militarization thing more.
should just merge this with the dino riders franchise, an evil alien lizard overlord comes to take over earth by weaponizing the dinosaurs lol
Not cyborg dinosaurs dude. Human dinosaur hybrids with guns for limbs. Instead of redeeming Wu they should've leaned into his insanity. His work has been plagiarized all over the world so to stay relevant he wants to innovate further by making these human dino hybrids but they keep dying so that's why he needs Maisie and Beta. Everyone calls him out on his craziness and when he's monologuing, Blue kills him
A war w militarized dinos wouldve been 1,000x better than what we got.
Locust World: Dominion. Maybe the locust are actually locusterraclops.
It would have been good if they replaced locust with some sort of flying dinos that could destroys the fields with the same story.
@@begoodinmathematics5452 yep
You joke, but at this rate, they might actually do it.
@@begoodinmathematics5452 the sparrows, the natural predators of the locust were all eaten by the dinosaur, just like the china great leap forward.
"But turns out the paint-sniffing chimp was hording all the brain-power for himself..." xD god-damn that line is beautiful
"If you're a good guy, you've got plot armor that's so tough, even the T-Rex's teeth can't penetrate it."
That's where the villains unleash their new weapon. The one thing that can wound even Batwoman's plot armor *The Doot-asaur!*
A simple plot that could have worked really well: An attempt to corral and relocate the Giganotosaurus goes wrong, and it moves into a new territory: an isolated valley where Owen and Clair are living, working with dinosaurs, studying how to live with them on a larger societal scale or something. They've even figured out how to get along with Rexy (not "befriend like a pet," but at least where they don't have to panic every time they hear the footsteps).
The newcomer throws the territory into chaos, and things start getting dangerous in a hurry. The plan: Get as many people out as possible, then deal with the Giganotosaurus and restore balance to their little dominion.
Small, simple, and the dinosaurs matter. Could have worked really well. Not much of an excuse for the original cast to return, but so what?
Isn't that a Godzilla plot?
They could've also followed up on the dino mind control thing from Camp Cretaceous. Have BioSyn plant chips into dinosaurs so that only they can capture them. Alan, Ellie and Ian notice this so they try to uncover the truth behind why the dinosaurs are acting really strange (aggressive and moving in weird formations). After getting one of the chips they take it to Lex to hack and find out where it came from. BioSyn catches wind of this so they kidnap all of them before they can do anything about it and that's how they end up at the valley
I would watch that movie
See, even your plot is idiotic because "they've even figured out how to get along with rexy". The rex is supposed to be scary and not a freaking pet.
@@JustKelso1993 I'm not saying she'd be a pet, but they could have a few tricks to keep her disinterested in their homes, and keep themselves safely off the menu in her territory.
"F*ck this movie. I'm out!" I'm hearing more and more movie reviews like this nowadays....
Writers: "so in this new dinosaur movie we're going to take the focus away from the dinosaurs and focus on these prehistoric insects made by a rival corporation and they need clone girl's blood to control them."
Sensible audience: "...why?"
Writers: "stop asking so many fucking questions!"
Well you can give dominion credit for one thing….at least the legacy characters did have scenes together,that’s more then you can say for the Star Wars “Rey”trilogy.
I didn't like how they treated Alan in this movie. For starters why is he still digging up bones when the field was drying up back in JP3. After Jurassic World opened you'd think paleontology would be extinct and that Alan would be happily retired. They also made him this out of touch love sick puppy, even that would've been ok if they had a scene where they explain why Alan and Ellie never got together like maybe they could confirm he was sterile and couldn't give her kids.
I almost mentioned that in the video actually, but it didn't make the final draft. What the movie did with the legacy characters wasn't great, but, hey, at least they were together.
@@thoriasunlimited4053 agreed.
I agree with what said about them,Sam looked as though he didn’t even want to be there and Jeff was just off.
Laura felt like the only one trying to enjoy herself.
And I’m sorry but that twist/recon of Maisie was just stupid,I even said that in theaters.
Really doesn’t matter when the execution is this bad.
Though if there’s anything I can give The Jurassic World Trilogy (apart from the first one being decent), at least the Evolution games are pretty good
SPOILERS ; At the end of the movie, Admiral Gender Studies rides the Trex in the locus nest, yelling "Durka-durka" and then explodes.
And admiral gender studies survives and shouts "DirkaDirka" more
I stopped watching the movies after Jurassic World. I only paid to watch the original Jurassic Park and Jurassic World. I only went to Jurassic World because I was hoping that a new crew might do a better job because I was disappointed in the sequels. I left the movie wondering how it's possible to write a script with only 2 brain cells.
Here's my take on "dominion". I love it that there's more to dinosaurs that there has been a lot recently in the film but I hate it on the fact that part of it felt like an actual Jurassic Park movie based upon the suspense and horror but also how their less Focus about the dangers of it and more on locusts.
Diversity hire strong woman gay pilot and a red head that parkours over the roofs of Malta while out running a raptor that caught up to a motorcycle and a plane. Oh, and Locust. On fire.
I actually liked Kayla but yeah I agree about how stupid it was to have Claire be able to outrun the Atrociraptors while Owen was full throttle on his bike, escaping by the skin of his teeth
At least they didn't kill or replace the redhead. Gingers are an endangered species in Hollywood.
Fallen kingdom has already lost my interest for the franchise when they introduced freaking animal rights activists rallying for the genetic montrosities that doesn't belong in modern times.
The sound you made in the beginning was literally how I felt after coming out of this mess of a movie. I went to see this movie because I and many like me had been through a shitty year due to the pandemic. At this point, we don't really care what the movie is released, we just want to get out the house and have some entertainment.
I fully support the "turning your brain off during a pop corn flick" mindset but this movie is where I draw the line. I grew up watching Jurassic Park series and I fully enjoyed Jurassic World despite its flaws. Fallen Kingdom was super dumb but at least it was somewhat consistent. THIS MOVIE, however, is a fucking mess. You basically summed up this movie: Imagine making a dinosaur movie NOT FOCUSING on the dinosaurs themselves.
By the way, have anyone noticed a certain pattern in the entertainment industry yet? Making games and movies without making the ONE thing that makes them good and enjoyable the focus of those games and movies. Just look at Star Wars, Lord of The Rings, Halo, The Last of Us 2, He-man, and many more. It is almost as if these writers, directors, and creators are doing this ON PURPOSE at this point.
Man, I didn't want to watch this because I figured it was dumb that modern militaries - with all their modern equipment - couldn't manage the dinosaur problem. But you're saying it's even the dumber than that? Yikes.
Yup. From the outset, the dinos are just new nuisances that people have to deal with. Leading the Apatosaurus out of your construction zone, for instance.
The real threat is bioengineered giant locusts that eat all crops except those produced by one corporation (the government suspects nothing and its up to one plucky middle aged scientist to investigate). Also they burn like their innards are soaked in kerosene and can survive for several minutes in this state.
But they're breeding faster than expected, so must kidnap clone girl and a baby raptor to be able to engineer a solution.
Everything else is just action movie set pieces that no one even thought to consult so much as a middle school dinosaur enthusiasts about (they would have known more about real dinosaurs than the actual film makers).
Yeah, that's not what it's about at all. Like I said, you can pretty much forget everything the trailers told you.
It's really dumb, because I highly doubt the military would sit on their ass & just watch Dinosaurs wreck havoc on society. Plus, Dinosaurs are no aliens, so the military could easily wipe them out in a few days.
My computer is ruined. I had to take a big sip of my drink during his “eaten by the what-the-F-a-thaurus” rant.
I'm so sorry lol.
A Jurassic movie without Dinosaurs? Seriously just make a new story already.
"That paint sniffing chimp was hording all the brain power."-The most adequate description of modern day leadership I have ever seen.
It's fun to read a lot of the negative criticisms of this movie in an Ian Malcolm voice since that was essentially his job, to call out how absurd things in this movie are
"They are alive like me.."
"WHO THE FUCK CARES?! THEY ARE GONNA EAT PEOPLE!!!"
Exactly.
People keep going to see these things because their standards for entertainment is so low as well as brand loyalty. People will go see this movie just because it is Jurassic Park. The old characters that we grew up with are there for nostalgia bait and people bought it. Because sadly, for some that is enough. Throw some nostalgia on screen and people will praise the movie. Also, not enough people demand better out of entertainment anymore. Movies, video games, people will keep buying into it, a lot of times it has to due with hype, and reach for whatever excuse to defend their purchase.
The Giga literally breathed fire in this movie, like a fucking dragon. lol
There is a reason I haven't watched any of the movies since this trilogy started.
They actually had an interesting premise: Dinosaurs living alongside humans. But they were like nah, lets make a movie exactly like every other jurassic park where the protagonists still spend the whole movie in a park. And lets make the most dangerous thing in the movie lokusses and only imply that there is a sence of urgency
Oh yeah and Chris Pratt looks like he came from Ibiza. I guess he has a sunbed in his shack in Alaska
I really wish you would cut to the chase and just tell us how you really feel. 🤪
Glad you didn’t blow a gasket!
I was actually on the fence about going to see it and you just convinced me it’s not worth wasting my time.
Thanks! 👏🏼
Although, I’m sorry to hear that you had to suffer through it!
I actually had a little hope that this would be somewhat better than Fallen Kingdom, and I'm stunned to find it out it was actually WORSE! Holy Shit!
No one hated Fallen Kingdom more than the people producing the damn thing, they hated how all people wanted was more, bigger dinos. No room for creativity. So in a weird way, this film might be as sh*t as it is because the cast agrees with you.
This movie might actually be the biggest, most deliberate, act of the screen writers sh*tting on the public because they refuse to let this franchise die. People who actually want to work on actually interesting films, doing everything they can to finally shut this project down.
Typical Hollywood ego, never taking responsibility or try to innovate in the slightest and then throw a hissy fit when their ideas are crap and mocked
The clone girl in this movie is like if Liam beeson’s daughter from taken was one of the girls from black Christmas 2019
Ian Malcolm was right, again, they were too preoccupied with wherever or not they could they didn't stop to think if they should
06:05 - - "...humans and animals living together..."
Was this movie financed by Ken Ham and his YEC crowd?
I was okay about Jurassic world. A little jump the shark for me, but they had some good ideas and some decent moments. I don't know what changed but Fallen Kingdom was absolutely positively horrifically and aggressively mediocre. Until I saw that movie, I never thought in a million years that I would ever find running away from carnivorous dinosaurs as they chase you through a jungle could get boring and dull... and the ending is just Palm slapping stupid
I remember a tv series from 10 or something years ago, it had people traveling in time to live in the past with dinosaurs but they made the same mistake of pretending that dinosaurs are a threat against fully armed humans.
you mean terranova ?
@@thetitanslayer7481 Yes, that one.
I've watched Fallen Kingdom twice, the first time I couldn't even finish the movie as I couldn't endure so much stupidity, the second time I forced myself to watch and finish the movie, until you mentioned it I had no idea Maisie was a clone.
Whatthefuckasaurus HAHA brilliant
I hated Jurassic World since the first movie. Everyone made fun of me for hating it, and now we have this garbage. Congratulations, you played yourself.
I really feel like a rematch between the spinosaurus and T-Rex should’ve happened in this movie. It would make the “final” Jurassic World movie fight feel more meaningful to the audience and have more depth/history to it. I mean they literally had a logo change for Jurassic Park 3
Ex) The Trex and spinosaurus go at it one more time this time the T. Rex wins but doesn’t kill the spinosaurus. That way the final score between those Dinos is 1-1. But in the end team up for the sake of taking out some genetic hybrid Monster part giganotosaurus,allosaurus tyrannosaurus, Spinosaurus, Albertosaurus, Carnotaurus, and raptor. (basically some new company was trying to make the perfect Apex dinosaur). That thing is obviously “evil” and just out of control (similar to Indominus but obviously more deadly) throwing the natural order way out of balance forcing the real Apex predators to team up and take it down I guess blue can be also part of it also. Thus ending the T-Rex and spinosaurus rivalry and they both go their separate ways seemingly now at peace with each others existence. This fight would give the 2 logo stars of the jurassic movies a nice send off, with a better Raptor send off.
A meaningful and deep end to the entire Jurassic movie franchise for the dinosaurs at least. The humans although in the actual movie did get a satisfying happy ending imo.
After the humans have their scene reuniting and happy ending for them. , last Seane could start off with several longneck dinosaurs just walking somewhere, then transitions to all these other dinosaurs with modern animals sort of like shown in the movie. Then show the spinosaurus somewhere and roars, then a transition to blue and beta running somewhere blue stops and starts doing that raptor call. Then it ends with a T Rex top of a cliff or something overlooking a city, with its family behind it then main one roars then *cut end of movie*.
When Rexy went down I expected the Spino to show up and show the Giga how they brought the pain back in the old days
Spino could win again for all I care.
@@JustKelso1993 That would be terrible to most of the audience. 😕 but I get it it’s your favorite Dino or at least you like the spinosaurus a lot more and T Rex. But narratively speaking that would be a terrible decision it already got 1 win.
Totally agree! Reluctantly saw this film with a mate who's a huge fan. Plot holes so large that a T-rex could fit through easily. Dumb and cheesy, especially the final scenes. It's completely illogical that humans and dinosaurs can co exist. And who knew that locusts were fire proof?
Locusts clouds. Cheaper to animate than dinosaurs.
It's like today film makers are allergic to following up on plot points they set up in movies befor.
Maybe they are just allergic to plot in general now that I think about it.
in real life,,,,feal hogs will have eaten all dino eggs
The sad thing is, I’ve thought having the dinosaurs let loose into the wild and reintroduced to our world is the plot line that should of happened with the first movie in the modem trilogy. There should of been a natural disaster like Planet of the Apes that killed off many animals so dinosaurs were used to replace some animals. Now humanity has to deal with living with dinosaurs maybe like 100 years after the first original movie. They should of taken risks and moved the world forward with this new trilogy. I mean, Jurassic World was basically a rehash of Jurassic Park… Jurassic Park 3 had more dinos in the world than Jurassic World.
I just saw Dominion and it was beyond awful.
Thorias is right, as usual! Great video as usual.
Rash Manly
I feel bad for the Dinosaurs... How embarrassing 😢😢
11:11 "Dinosaurs aren't special anymore" is probably the most frustrating and annoying part about Universal basically having a monopoly on dinosaur movies through the Jurassic IP. Dinosaurs were really amazing animals and we want that sense of awe and wonder seeing them on the big screen. But time after time each Jurassic sequel does the opposite and takes away that sense with how stupid and convoluted they make the plot. I wish more film makers who actually know what their doing would tap in to dinosaurs since Universal is doing such a terrible job at it. At least for now we have "Prehistoric Planet" documentary series that does an excellent job portraying dinosaurs and making them interesting and enjoyable to watch but a documentary is not everyone's cup of tea.
I’ve been watching your videos for a long time now lol appreciate the content
You’d think Misquotes would be more scary and more poetic of an inclusion. Locust is kinda out of left field.
Prehistoric misquotes passing on a prehistoric virus that only dinosaurs are immune to would’ve been a riveting idea. Oh well
The origin was life-changing. All the rest have been life-crushing.
I'm not touching this monstrosity.
Hell, I would have loved to see military vs dinosaurs. That would have been fun to watch. Imagine a intense scene where a bunch of soldies enter a forest area and they hunt down dangerous & inteligent velociraptrors. Some soldiers are getting jumped & killed off by raptors from different directions. While some managed to kill some of them off cause no animal can survive over 100 M4A1 bulltets.
Holy shiatsu! I felt like I was missing something when watching it. I totally forgot about Fallen Kingdom and had to read up on it to remember seeing it.
I haven't seen it. Because when I saw fallen kingdom there were scenes that felt like I was watching the previous movie. Even though that was my first and last time watching fallen kingdom. Those scenes I knew how they were going to end before they ended. Thing is those scenes weren't shown in the trailers.
You are one of the last critics I watch. Love your work
0:30 - I like how you didn't even feel the need to mention Laura Dern's performance.
What-The-Fuck-A-Saurus. 😂
I honestly think that they were trying to make reference to the Biosyn Chile rabbis vaccine that was in the novels’ backstory with the weird locust plot line, but that kind of stuff is history for Biosyn, not present day. They needed to go back to the novels, but not in this way.
Fallen Kingdom made me want to watch Maisie get eaten, and I'm okay with that. And I'm not okay with that!
It baffles me that they did absolutely nothing with the free roaming dinosaurs. I knew this movie wasn't gonna be great after Fallen Kingdom, but I thought I'd at least get a decent premise
The prologue was such a more compelling premise and it was literally nothing but a tease to get people in the theater.
I didn’t watch any reviews going into the movie, but your thoughts on it is exactly what I felt about it afterwards.
I totally agree with everything you said :) sad, that they ruined the idea of Jurassic Park...
I saw the movie today and I enjoyed it even though it seems like a lot of people didn't. Unlike Disney Star Wars they did bring back the main 3 from the original and they did show them some respect. Did anyone else make the connection between Dodson and Dennis Nedry from the original movie - and how they both died in almost the exact same manner.
How could you not make the connection, of the MANY complaints I have against Dominion one one the forefront is that constant nod's to previous and better Jurassic movies...Remember how Nedry died? Now Dodgson dies the same way in a twist of karmic justice! Remember when Malcolm was injured and posing semi provocatively in the control of Jurassic Park? Well here's a commentary about his unbuttoned shirt in Dominion! Remember how Grant is an old fashioned guy who hates technology and computers? Wouldn't it be great if we made him have a absolutely hilarious back and fourth with a stereotypical millennial over what kind of soy milk he wants in his coffee because Grant would never want anything like that!.....Over and over and over, this movie brow beat people with remember this!? Remember that?! No one in the movie even felt like a real human, just caricatures.
They could have easily, easily made some sort of plot about getting everyone together to solve the scary Dino problem, figuring out a solution, the showing how Dino’s and people can get along now. Sad.
Movie: "F**k it, let's all coexist with the dinosaurs!"
they should have fallowed the Jurassic park novels, And just kill off the Dinosaurs with an air strike like the books did. which would have been great . with the question being can dinosaurs and humans live together which the answer was No. Since dinosaurs where more bird like then reptile. there speed was much quicker then the Scientist thought .
I thoroughly enjoyed the film, and so did my family. And I've been a JP fan for 25 years.
@@TryingToWakeUp-qb7iu I believe a lot of the people hating on the film are only doing so to feel good about themselves. It's cool to be cynical nowadays, and nitpicking plot holes is now considered more enjoyable than just delighting at a fun movie. One could similarly tear apart the original film's plot holes. But nobody does so because the film is so good that those plot holes don't matter. And yet with every film in the franchise released since then, people have increasingly relied on nitpicking plot holes instead of assessing how enjoyable the film actually is.
@@TryingToWakeUp-qb7iu Not really. It wasn't my favorite restaurant, but I did enjoy In-N-Out Burger, and, as a corporate employee of the company, I was able to eat it every workday-five times a week. In the 1.25 years I worked there, I always continued to enjoy eating it. Then again, I grew up eating my mom's terribly bland cooking, so maybe I am just less spoiled than most.
@@TryingToWakeUp-qb7iu Considering this is a new movie, your analogy falls flat. No, it's not truly original. Then again, no movie is. Even the original film followed in the footsteps of its predecessors. This new movie was original and interesting enough for me to enjoy it, and I think if could let yourself just enjoy something without casting a critical eye on everything, you could enjoy it too, without having to "turn off your brain". It obviously doesn't compare to the 1993 film, but not every meal has to be your favorite meal in the world in order to be enjoyed and appreciated. If you didn't enjoy it, that's fine, but I don't appreciate basically being called dumb simply because I was able to enjoy the film. Gratitude is a great thing, and the world would be a better place if we were all more grateful and less critical.
My absolute biggest gripe about the movie is also the only strong point the movie has imo.. the dinos
Gripe: Two part.. 1. There's legit zero hints of some of these species in the first Jurassic world, Dimetrodon? Where..? Ostrich Wolverine? Where..? The Giga?? Even the super pterodon came outta the blue.. what's the time lapse also? Because there was at most maybe 50 dinos that escaped from the mansion (which just makes it weirder seeing the variety in Dominion) so how the hell did they multiply and grow so fast? 2. Not ENOUGH focus on the dinos, instead they focused on the X-Files rip-off locusts (they were enhanced bees in the X-Files, not only just the premise but even the entire escape scene was practically "Yeh you can copy my hw but change it up so it doesn't look like its copied" to the T).
Strong Point: Dino variety, even though they made no sense.. they were cool to see because the most variety in dinos on screen ever was always the "Walking With Dinosaurs" series, so it was impressive seeing what top dollar CG budgets can do with dinos.
They seriously can't let the militarized dinos go huh..? Spent the entire trilogy saying "LOOK they can be awesome assets on the field" well.. no.. they can't. Would you have trusted a team of raptors that only vaguely listen to Mr Wavy Hand to take out Bin Laden? Probably not. I know sci-fi movies can't escape the whole "the monster's bulletproof" cliche' but they are still made of flesh and bone.. I'm sure even a 9mm would do dmg to a Rex (granted if you aim at the head, should at least discourage the animal to deter them from continuing to attack) so putting them up against an enemy unit equipped with 7.62s.. .308.. Hell, even 50 cals would decimate any dino unit.. A handgun took Blue down enough to neutralize her. Actually you know what? Not even bullets tbh.. simple, basic claymores would do them in because obviously they're just more vicious attack dogs.. they won't spot a tripwire.. why they kept clinging to this use for them is beyond me.
Whatever this movie is.. They went the entirely wrong route with lol
The film has a ton of egregious events..
How do dinos work in this movie btw? What's it called.. the pyroraptor? Aren't these things cold-blooded? The hell is this thing doing breaking through ice swimming like Phelps in freezing cold water?
How did Owen not at least get a hint of hypothermia btw?
Dinos follow man-made airspace? What?
Of all people they coulda brought back.. Dodson? Really? Wasn't he just a random lackey from a rival company in the first JP?
Um.. you know that meme "Raptor Jesus"? Meet Beta.. LOL
Can Hollywood seriously do something about plot armor.. It's reaching absurd levels at this point..
Nostalgia bait.. I'm at my wit's end with nostalgia bait, whenever I see returning characters I automatically assume it's bait because the movie's gonna be trash.
Owen choked out a dilophosaurus.. ever held your dog by the muzzle/snout when playing? They shake and use their front paws to get ya to let go..? Essentially Owen would've had his arm shredded by a panicked dilophosaurus worst than the mech team leader from Matrix Revolutions.. I wouldn't have had a problem with this scene if 1. Owen jumped on its back giving it a rear naked choke, would've at least made MORE sense that the one handed choke from the side and 2. The slow build up to Claire slowly sinking to the floor into eye level with the dilophosaurus that was just waiting there for her to notice it was so dumb.. I actively felt like I was watching a QTE from the Jurassic Park Telltale game.. if they sped it up some it wouldn't have felt like forced tension.
The forced tension bothered me some.. Claire was put in the only ejection seat in the plane to land in Ostrich Wolverine's patch of forest just to once again force tension with her creeping away and the Ostrich Wolverine basically fucks off, no kind of chase scene at least.. I dunno, was just odd.
Dimetrodon scene.. I actually liked it but I couldn't shake the feeling that this movie felt like Star Wars.. Evil Steve Jobs literally dropped the group into a Rancor pit but with dimetrodons instead.. The smuggler captain they met in a bar/cantina? Fem Solo? The hand thing suddenly everyone can do it..? So "everyone has the force" reference? Feels like an amalgamation of so many movies that it's rather cringe.
Another franchise down the drain.. and they started off so promising too..
It's like Hollywood is in a competition for the worst movie possible.
Only positive side of this one is that it helped me forget how terrible Matrix Resurrections was.. now I just need another movie to erase this one from memory lol
This is on par with Rise of Skywalker and Matrix Resurrections..
It's so sad..
Lol the "whatthefuckasauraus" I love this channel
Apparently that prologue that got everyone with short term memory hyped isn't even actually in the movie. That's hilarious
Bro, it had almost NOTHING to do with the rest of the movie. It's bizarre.
I took one look at your title and said “Well Duh! … what ELSE was it going to be?”
The Whatthef@@kasaurus , hilarious 😂🤣 also love the “the boys “ reference in the beginning 👍
I truly believe they should go the Dino Crisis 1 or 2 route. 2 would give a good reason why Dinos are all over the world because of the time portal aspect of the game. They could just have random portals open everywhere. It would introduce new characters….the marines that have to go in and shut down the machine, and the surviving people on the island.
I have to go because of my Dad. I gave up on these movies a looong time ago, but he saw there was a new Jurassic Park movie coming out and got so excited. Unfortunately I drew the short straw out of my siblings... :(
Wonder if I can leave him in there and then sneak out and go watch Sonic instead...
There was never a movie more deserving of an epic rant like this! I’m tempted to say that watching this rant makes the 45 minutes I watched of this abomination of a movie worth the while 😄 (had to leave the theatre after 45 minutes because I felt the stupidity of the plot started affecting my mental well-being)
*Trailers for Jurassic world 2&3:* Dinosaurs are everywhere and dangerous!
*The actual movies:* "haha you thought! here's a completely different and boring plot".
Thank God for this man. I’m glad I went to see Top Gun instead of this garbage. Although, I’d rather see the “dinosaur film” instead of the Lady Thor and regular Thor film.
I haven't had the joy of jurassic films for years. They were on an island last time I saw one.
How did they get of the island?
I can't write but I'm very creative will Naziwood give me a job?
6 films?? It's been a long time since I last watched one
I read a really good dinosaur book back in the 90s. I think it was just called "Raptor". It followed a female raptor through her life. I resisted reading it for a long time because I thought that sounded too weird or just bad but it's actually really good. NOT a kid's book.
I have been waiting for your infiltered opinion. So many reviewers dance around their gut feeling that the movie sucks
You deserve more followers, sir.
Tell your friends. I'd really like to reach 45,000 subs this year.
Hollywood: half our budget is spent on lying to the audience
I know the main point of trailers is that they are made to get people to go and see the film rather than fully sell you on the premise of the product that you are selling, I get that because that is just how Hollywood goes to keep on going. But at the very least, you do have to sell on aspects of the premise rather than selling us what is essentially the opposite of the film we are about to get because false advertising rarely works in the favour of a product. For example, while I like the character of Kamala Khan more than some of my friends do, but the marketing around that character does that character no favours especially with the recent Square Enix “Marvel’s Avengers” game where you basically sell to your customer that they are in for an Avenger experience, yet what they ended up getting is a game that many would call “Ms. Marvel and Friends” and the game had severe backlash in part of its mismarketing (as well as many other things surrounding that game).
Yet this film is actually kind of worse as far as mismarketing your film goes that makes the counter-intuitive creative choices of “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” look like the inspired creative sequel choices of “The Dark Knight”, especially considering how “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” ended with the promise on the idea that we are going to get something truly different. Specifically on the idea that we are going to get a film within this franchise where we get the premise of humans learning or at least dealing with the idea of learning to co-existing with dinosaurs, which on a subtextual level could open itself to many topical issues especially on either the topic of animal rights or even the current divisive nature of Western society since the “culture war” came about. So, what does this film actually give us? A film that is essentially a repeat of “The Lost World: Jurassic Park”, where AGAIN most of the dinosaurs are contained in an isolated preserve. So where instead of natural growth within the status quo of this franchise, the three “Jurassic World” films pretty much circled back to the status quo of “The Lost World: Jurassic Park” which makes the last three installments of this franchises roughly 9 hours of my life that I have felt completely wasted because of how little growth or change that happened. How long will it take for Hollywood to realise that bait-and-switch is not a good approach to storytelling?
The giant locusts don't even kill anyone. Not even one person. The only thing they do is mentally scar the characters because , you know, giant bugs. If they wanted giant locusts then they should have had the locusts eventually develop a taste for flesh and it would be a battle of man and dinosaur vs. blood thirsty locusts.
Go extinct. Yes please. Can't believe we are still dealing with IPs that are up to and even older than 50 years old. Give it the eff up already Hollywood. That Rooftop chase between Bryce and a Raptor was the most ridiculous thing I've seen. You know what the problem is? Kids. They don't care about about story they just want to see Dinosaurs on the big screen. Parents are all to happy to oblige and the studios know this.
Went to go see a movie about Chris Pratt and some dinosaur. Instead get treated to the 'girl is the key to everything ' trope which Hollywood is obsessed with now.
Next one: Jurassic Park, dark side of the Moon. They been watching us - waiting for their moment to invade…
I agree 100%! Dinosaurs weren’t the stars of the movie, everyone looked bored and don’t want to be there. Bad plot and plot holes. Bad choices from actors in the movie. Let me put my self in danger to get out of it 5 mins later super easy
That Billy Butcher sample, tho.
Hah !
If Admiral "Hold-on" is in a movie
- I DON'T WATCH IT !!!!!
Hahahaa ,nice review man 👍😉👍😁
Off topic and not related to the video but have u tried to review any A24 movies?
Aw man Thorias, you're right. The first Jurassic Park movie really was the only good one. Jurassic Park shouldn't have been a franchise; but rather a one and done stand alone film.
Excellent review sir. At least there is hope that some talented Artist produces a good Jurassic Movie because of this catastrophe.
Was that billy butcher at the start?
Dinosaurs in the snow. 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦