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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.ย. 2024
- In this video, we look at how to move forward on our healing journey so that we can begin to establish healthy connections with other people.
Link to Niki Gratrix: www.nikigratrix...
Link to my interview with Niki: • How trauma impacts our...
Link to my CPTSD video: • Surviving CPTSD & Flas...
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I've noticed a pattern looking back over my life. I'm 53. Every man that was emotionally healthy, that pursued me, I felt absolutely nothing for. The men I 'loved' were emotionally unavailable and cruel. My dad was narcissistic. I didn't even know what this was until I stumbled into yr website. Iv learned so much, and found huge comfort in the comment sections, thank you for teaching me, saving me, and helping me to break the cycle. I'm so grateful to you. Wish I had learned who I was years ago, but, better late than never!
Hi Karan, welcome in the club of the narcissistically abused.
Hi, Karan. I am 64 and was just diagnosed with CPTSD a week ago. It's never too late to grow and learn. I, too, have made bad choices in the men I chose to love, who were emotionally unavailable and cruel. My dad was also narcissistic as was my mother. The diagnosis was like stepping into a cold shower and it really opened my eyes to what had been going on in my life and why I had anger outbursts and other symptoms associated with CPTSD.
So many of the women I know do this. So self-destructive. The amazing thing is that we can finally see what we have been doing to ourselves and understand and overcome it. Reason and not wanting or urges is the best way to find friends and partners for us! The heroin addict craves and is attracted to heroin... Destructive addictions are not real love, not fulfilling. You always need to look objectively at the whole situation, the whole you. 🙏🏻❤️🧘♀️
I just noticed the same pattern in my own life. There was someone who showed genuine interest in me and for various reasons, I rejected him. Now I'm wondering where he is... hopefully our paths will cross again. Thanks for your transparency. It helped me realize that my father wasn't emotionally available to me and that's a major reason why I go after the ones who aren't genuinely interested.
Same pattern in my life ❤️
How do you know that those people that you think are amazing people just waiting to meet us aren't just another group of narcissists. Or just everyone's a narcissist. I can't risk my emotional and physical health by meeting anymore people. I could say I don't trust anybody anymore, I don't even trust myself to make a proper evaluation of any new people in my life.I am now going through a divorce after Abandonment from my narc. This is not the first time. I keep getting in the same trap with these narcissists and I don't trust myself to ever be able to find anyone that is not a narcissist in my life for my life. It's very sad because I want to share my life but I can't. I don't trust myself and I don't trust others.
eternalsunny , I think the more you understand that what other people do and say to you is their karma , or rather their exposure of who they really are. All you have to do is take your time before feeling hurt and remember not to take it personally .so just thank them for sharing and walk away so to speak. allow them to sit with their own words. remember if it isn't you, the narc. will find someone else. take time to be with yourself and you will attract like minded people. this takes loving yourself to such a degree that you will have a pretty good gut feeling of who you allow in. I hope this helps.
eternalsunny I was once there too. Know you will regain that hidden confidence & trust your ability to discern.
eternalsunny Hi there! I just want to validate your feelings because I'm kinda stuck there right now. It almost seems impossible to think of trusting another after my ordeal as well. I have known nothing other than Narc World up until now. Now I am isolated and too sick to even make the choice of going out there and meeting anyone new. My last Narc was Dr. Jekyl for 11 years before I was blindsided by his Mr. Hyde!! He coached me away from the one before that to just perpetrate the whole cycle of abuse on me worse!! I ignored all the obvious signs because Narc a world has been my normal. I believe Soul G.P.S is correct in saying that we need to develop ourselves and discover our passions. Strong boundaries can wind up being prison Walls if we aren't mindful to not let it happen. I need human interaction too, so I go on You Tube and put in my two cents here and there. I'm learning to be my own friend right now. Like giving myself permission to feel good or bad or angry or sad or frustrated or lonely without allowing shame to creep in. I'm learning to feel proud of any and all accomplishments big or small without needing someone else approval. Going no contact and holding my ground had been a major accomplishment towards building my self esteem! I believe that the way we feel about people after our ordeal with the Narcs is perfectly understandable and that we need to even just allow ourselves to feel just how we do about people while we grow and develop our strengths. I think where I get in the most trouble is when I hyper focus on my loneliness and isolation!! I get bitter and resentful and land on my pity pot of depression and get stuck in thoughts of revenge! (Like mailing my Narcs an Emoji Pillow 💩!) 😂 I even allow myself to imagine diabolical thoughts like that!! Yeah, we had our lives and our love hijacked from us and it really sucks! I realize I am in "control mode" at those times and I need to "Let go and let God"!! Now when those thoughts creep in too much and start draining me further, I turn to gratitude for the blessings in my life and count them! I know that I've never been alone because God is with me. He has a plan for all of this pain and heartache. To turn it into something much better than I could imagine with 1 Narc!! Faith works by patience and hope is the anchor of our soul! So hang in there!! I understand how you feel! Boundaries and listening to our guts are the tools to test anyone for Narcissism. Just saying "No", is actually enough to send Narcs away sometimes! Paying close attention to micro expressions and tuning into and listening close.. We are not asleep anymore!! Disagreeing with the smallest of opinions or having your own preferences will show you who someone is if you pay attention. I'm not in a hurry to fill this void with another person either! This void is where "I" belong!! With God all things are possible! I hope this helps you. ❤️
Heather Lynn , yes, your so smart, and kind. a true survivor. all this is a huge undertaking. like an Olympic event! Gold metal please! lol.
donna Thanks! ♥️ Here ya go Donna! 🏅 You earned it! 😀
Thanks for this video. It's been 3 months and every day I have felt like not a single person in this world cares about my existence. Gratefully I have kids so it's not as bad as it sounds. But isolation and loneliness, loss of family and friends, and no one wants to associate with me. And my narcs of 33 years were my parents.
Totally get you! 🙏💜
Took 15 years between my wives. She asked me to give her a chance. Now in my late 50s i ll be alone the rest of my life. Always been a giver. Tired of takers and gold diggers. I married f.c or 2 things. Love and companionship. I wanted her to be my best friend. Did everything she asked. All she wanted was a free check. Sad, My heart misses her. Only been 2 years but my mind knows her lies and abuse. Young men never marry.. 40 year carreer and 9 years of marriage and you loose everything. Everything. The courts cater to gold diggers and narcissists.
Run, run for your life.
I was very moved when you said that the abuse we endured is a gift, helping us finally move on and heal ourselves. To bring up wounds in order for us to heal and rise above so amazing things can finally happen.
Thank you.
I do not agree it was a gift. It is a life stealer. If we did not meet these people, we would not need to take time from life to heal. So no not a gift.
People keep asking me and telling me to date. It's been 9 months since the breakup w the Narc and I don't want to date. I'm 36 so it gets me nervous at times but I'm not jumping into dating like most people do. I think of after Narc abuse dating should be put on hold for a while. Thank you for your hopeful words.
I wrote the part above a year ago and a few months. I got involved with someone else and he was also a narcissist. If you don’t heal the wound you’ll attract someone else who also has the same wound as your previous narcissistic partner. Two narcissists in a short amount of time!! I have no choice now but to do the work full force . A lot of healing. Deep breath. A lot of work. I will not be with another borderline narcissist or sociopathic narcissist ever again !!!
For me its been 3 years after the breakup of 12 years with my narc even until now I find it difficult to trust a new person into my life. In the mean time I managed to live as much as possible in the present and it wonderfully take care so that I don't feel lonely. I felt more lonely in the 12 years with my ex-wife. I put a full stop on dating I find it to forced but I'm open for that new special person I'm only not looking for it. I'll see what comes on my path.
Marcel Geutjes it will come at the right time- trust your inner knowing. Also I've been doing quantum healing from Melanie Tonia Evans Narp program and its extraordinary.
Sunflowershowers I just turned 34 and my 4 yr relationship just ended a month ago. He is traveling and living the life like nothing happened. I feel the same way as you do, I don't know if I will be able to trust someone else again. :(
Why are we giving these cowards so much power! Believe me, I understand. I allowed my ex to screw me over for 2 1/2 years. I stopped NC last August and I'm so glad I did. We broke up going on 3 years and I haven't really been in a relationship...I tried but I realized I should have never done that while still dealing with my ex. Since these videos, I have become even more stronger and I will not let my ex get what she wanted...me alone, me not giving someone everything I gave her....she will not get that and I will prove to myself by self healing, learning about people like this so I know the signs and when I SEE THEM...I remove myself. I recently had a situation with a friend who has narcissistic tendencies...I gave her 2 chances and both times she screwed me. I love her but from a distance. We deserve happiness...in whatever form you find. I wish you all the best in finding true happiness and love!
Marcel Geutjes
Same
It's been 18 months since I broke up with the narc I was dating. I moved to a different part of the country, gave up my job and my flat, he had me believing that he would take care of everything and had everything in place waiting for me. I have an adult son who is living in London (I am now in Norwich) and I am so far away from him, I cry everyday because I miss him so much. My son's dad was controlling me by with-holding money when he decided I was not behaving the way he saw fit. so I bought my son up as a single mother. I was just getting my life back when I met the narc I left 18 months ago. I found out that the narc did what he did to me because he was playing a game to make another woman jealous and she was leading him on. She even tried to make friends with me and manipulate me into thinking that it was all my fault what happened to me. He used to wake me up in the middle of the night to shout at me because he said I was snoring, he once drove on the wrong side of the road at high speed just to frighten me and start an argument with me, he constantly talked about himself all day long and how the whole world was against him, he said if I was a good girlfriend, I would support him 100% without ever thinking of myself despite the fact that my sister had died that same week. He never left my side and constantly followed me everywhere, and when he did give me some space, he went around this other woman's place to have dinner with her and he fiance (now her husband) leaving me without any food to eat. Long story short is now I'm living in the middle of nowhere, literally in the most rural area I have ever known. You have to walk a couple of miles just to catch a bus, there are no pavements or street light around here, at night you cannot see your hand in front of your face and ditches everywhere. I live with a stranger (sofa-surfing) all of my friends, family and my son have not got the space to put me up till I can get my life back. I still live in the area where this man resides, so running into him is a high possibility. Getting back to London is impossible as this man spent all of my savings. I've tried talking to my friends but they just don't understand what I've been through and some of them think I was stupid for getting involved with him in the first place. A couple have even said in around about terms "I told you so" so it's a case of "you got yourself into this, you get yourself out" I cannot even think about dating...EVER! the thought of dating makes me feel sick, I can't trust my own judgement. Now I'm stuck in Norwich far away from my son, living like I'm walking on eggshells with this person I hardly know just in case they decide they want me out. To add insult to injury I've found out that my cat the only comfort I have around me right now has diabetes. I have thought about suicide but as you can see, I'm still here, but the thought has never left me. I keep fighting the thoughts that swim around in my head constantly of "how could I have been so stupid to let this man do this to me, I should of seen this coming" I still look over my shoulder and wake up in a cold sweat sometimes thinking this man has found me. This is the reason I want to get back to London so badly so I can heal properly (if ever) while I'm still living in his area, the would still feels open, at least if I was on familiar ground, plant my feet back in the soil where I used to live, I can start to heal. Until then, my life is a roller-coaster. Sorry for going on for so long, just wanted to talk.
67angelface keep fighting. May you be favored
I'm am so sorry for what has happened to you. I'm in a similar situation. I want you to know, you are not alone and that is was not your fault to be involved with your narc in the first place. I'm a man, I want you to know not all men are narcissist. Now you know how it feels to be with a narc, so you can identify them more easily in the future if you happen to encounter another one. A good man will put you in first place, and never will make you feel guilt for the things he have done for you. We fall into their traps because if you are similar to me, we tend to think the best of everyone. And that is certainly a good thing, but unfortunately the world is not quite like that. These are seek individuals out there and we, the empathetic ones, must accept that fact for our own good. I really hope you get through this really soon. Remember this, listen to yourself, a good man will always feel good around you, always be on the search for narcissists signs in order to be able to see the red flags. The world needs more people like you, not like them, not like the narcs. Society favor the narcs personality, simply because it is sadly synchronized with the "spirit of the world". Always remember that, you are needed here. I live on the other side of the world, and I have found comfort in reading your story. I wish you the best and I hope your life be blessed soon
Matias Milito, thank you for your advice. I'm sorry you have suffered at the hands of a narcissist.
Thank you Tyrean
I hope things are better for you now! The world does need more of the good people like you in it! Matias (another commenter in this thread) is absolutely right! We need more empathic people like yourself. Much love and light!
You have unlocked some suppressed & invalid thinking about recovery. How we get stuck in a recovery stage can be almost as bad as enabling a disordered person. As if still pining to an emotionally abusive persons plan. Half way around the world help has come from a kindred who took time to share these thoughts, amazing.
Judgment Proof
Couldnt agree with you more on both amount of time & financial exploitation. They are extreme takers especially from givers. Even the latter has limits not due to finances but if someone cannot even be humanly decent in the midst of doing them a favor it's time to pull the plug on the manipulationship. Thanks. With a hoover in progress I needed to remember what your mind wants to block. The hoover is nothing but a control addiction.
Thanks for sharing, only those who lived through it can truly understand the twisted things they lay on innocent people, and the PTSD experienced afterwards,. Others nay think its' not a big deal, or Narcs are just " a jerk"...but we know different. We wish they were " just a jerk". Rather, we know they're demonic forces at work here on earth, targeting good souls here, The evil targeting and trying to destroy the good.
This video was a gift for my soul, and perfectly timed. Thank you so much.
Lesley Burton-Dallas A gift for my soul too.
She is my mental twin. From the “loving” but mean family background, to the not being able to enjoy beautiful environments and even wondering if humans would achieve intergalactic travel if we gaf about each other & stopped normalizing trauma. 😌 I’ve been looking for someone to address these problems & offer solutions for them. This women gives me hope.
Same. 💜
the part where you said : we endured the onslaught and not let it break us really resonated with me. Love that. Thank you.
beautiful such an old soul so young , I'm 63 and just now getting it the last 20 years...thank you!
Thank you for reminding us that we are not victims even though we certainly feelvictimized. so many of us have to remember we are alchemist of this dark lower energy and that our light transforms us because we have the courage and faith that our own compass is the way. thanks you for mentioning bitterness, it is real and needs to be told to go away your no longer part of the beauty we seek. even if we do have to remind ourselves 100 times a day! thank you for so much in this video. loved the part about the "trolls"....:)
So needed to hear this today. I'm 4 months and counting from the grand finale and break up. Sending you many blessings
I agree. We never die❤️. We are all headed to New Earth. We are awake and aware. ✨
Some to a new earth. Some to eternal damnation. I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the father but by me. Any who climb another way are a thief and a liar. Peace in Christ. No Christ peace.
After recently being deeply hurt by, not only a narc lover but also a narc friend, I am so afraid to trust ANYONE. Thanks for this video.
Remember, it's not that we cant trust, its we dont trust ourselves. We have to LEARN how to trust OURSELVES to IDENTIFY and RESPOND , properly to red flags. Cause there are many green flags we miss too..😊
I am 3 weeks no contact now and I find myself missing him but then remembering all the abuse... not ever feeling good enough....it’s like a inner fight to not want to give up on him/us but at the same time I know I need to take care of me and my physical and mental health.....all I seem to want is isolation and being alone.... I have to make myself go to work and socialize with my co workers.... because I know it’s important! I seem to be seeking peace and alone time every day .... I’m not afraid of being alone I seem to desire it.... I can’t wait for the day that I’m healed and feel normal and this is not consuming my thought process.... Only God can heal us ... Only with Gods help can we truly be free...
Pamela I'm going through this right now. Been 2 weeks of no contact and my abandonment issues are really triggered..
Thank you so much for these videos. I've learnt so much! Now I have so much understanding. I grew up with a Narc mother which made me empty in life. So I always fell into traps with friends and men. I'm now in a great spiritual place and enjoying life so much more. I live a quiet life which suits me❤️
Livinlifesimply...same scenario for me...crazy making all the way. I now have a caregiver who is abusive..covert narcissist telling me I'm imagining that she said this or did that. Thankful for the written records on some things to prove that it is her who isn't in reality. I too live a quiet life..I'm 71 yrs. old and somewhat disabled and living in low income housing. One by one I've had to pull away from neighbor friends who were in this same toxic category. Without a car I am usually stuck here unless I go out with the toxic caregiver. A new one is coming but they are really backed up. Blessings to you...I hope you continue to heal and that you begin to manifest many miracles into your life. Love from an Empath.
Livinlifesimply same
Livinlifesimply
I like how you added living the quiet life. I value quietness as well. Sometimes I feel flawed because society generally likes people that talk a lot, extoverts.
I'm definitely introverted and like having only a few true connections with people in my life. I'm in the beginning of the healing process and finding my tribe is a goal of mine.
I loved this video. I feel like you are the kind of close friend I've always wanted but never had access to. But your words were so incredibly helpful, you are such a gifted leader!!! I hope someday I can meet you. I'm also a writer, waking up finally at age 51
Thank you for your work ! I think its huge to practice discretion. I have a gut reflex to confront aggression, at first I felt like I was backing down by avoiding people and situations with "bad vibes" . Now I view it as a secret weapon in my life moving forward. Peace !
Thank you so much for your video, I have been watching your videos for a few days now & you have this incredible way of explaining things & it's really validating things & it's all making a lot of sense. It's a wonderful thing you can are able to make a difference in this way. Just wanted to say a big thanks & I'm hanging off your every word - looking forward to your next video! 😊
You are great girl!
I just arrived to the point after the narcissistic abuse where all seems empty.
Your videos are of such a great help.
This is a very new stage of life.
Thank you. ❤
Thankyou for this, it's so isolating to know we are the only ones that can save ourselves
So glad I found this channel
wow, this is so Good!!! My parents also seperated when i was young, to be honestly i also afraid of being alone and always run from one to another because i wanted to love and sometimes i feel better when i give love to others.. till recently i think i realized that this is the void i need to fill myself not on one else.
on one of the other channels this lady called The Narcissist angels in Disguise because what happens is they come into your life they target your wounds that you've been carrying around your whole life you are then able to see them heal from them all though yes sometimes being with a narcissist can almost bring you to death I was married to two narcissist and nearly died both times or felt like I was going to die anyways but finally I am now able to spot the narcissist and I've been healing my childhood wounds which is a gift so you really have to start looking at it this way and just being able to spot them once your eyes are wide open and you can see them coming because as an empath we attract this type of person they thrive on us. I wish everyone out there love light and happiness band the will to heal.
Margaret Kennedy I agree but Christ is it painful x
Margaret Kennedy I completely hear what you're saying and I can actually understand what you're saying. but what if we were raised by healthy people? if we never had to suffer the upbringing we did to be doing what you're saying and thanking God for bringing more pain into our life to try to heal the upbringing? screw it all sure. I would have rather been born into a healthy family and had a wonderful life like some people have had
Margaret Kennedy you know it's great for you to think like that and be so thankful. I just think that if that's the way it was, there would only be one narcissist brought into my life when I was an adult oh, there would be a 3 months time frame on it and I would have learned my lesson and gone on. most people go to their grave taking the abuse. I'm 63 years old and just learning about it. No, I was brainwashed as a child, abused as a child, grown-up to pick up users, one right after the other. I've had the ungodly sad, painful watching of my beautiful children they screwed over by their father and also take his example on to go on and screw there adult life over as well. Now what was it you wanted me to be thankful for about all that?
Yes it’s very difficult recovering from years of psychological imprisonment. When you have been ostracised from family, they too can withhold support as they like to say «We tried to tell you ..... ». On top of that , a sexual assault charge in the investigation stage sees friends fly off into the distance as this is obviously contagious. Loneliness is the last torture that the narc can have on you, even when they are far far away. I have found that no man understands what you have been through. I’ve been called damaged and branded......
I like your video
Great advice about doing something different hooby/job wise.
I been job searching in I have recently applied for something different , cruise ship jobs, out of town jobs(relocate,traveling).
I'm loving the idea of traveling seeing the world an talking with other people.Thanks!
yes!! a video about traveling on a budget would be fantastic! i feel so lost and disconnected from everything. I'm at 34 days no contact and really struggling. i just found your videos through a Facebook narcissistic support group. thank you!
You’re an amazing woman and having left that dis function from family and it consequently caused me to attract abusers ! I think you have done a great job on your journey! We definitely 👍 have to do the journey 🙏💜
Whomever she is she is wise Beyond her years. She said more in these few minutes than I've seen others say in hundreds of videos
You are such an angel!
This video has helped me understand apart of myself that I've lost for a long time. Thank you for sharing your truth
Thank you so much for making these videos. I am a lightworker and I think awakening to this global dynamic of the narcissist/empath relationship - i feel it is the final spiritual/soul awakening so that we may all ascend to a love based reality and live in peace and harmony together as a society
How to cope it?.... Focus on those who care about you unconditionally
And if you have no one like that?
Raheem Hannah there is no one. Now what? everybody's circumstances are different.
I saw a quote 'I believed in myself when noone else did.' I am a Christian and I believe my God and faith brought me thru so much with some very bad extremely dangerous people. I am thankful for some wonderful people like yourself.
5 years of lonlieness for me . Its started to hurt my body now my stomach hurts and my heart aches every time i realise how lonely i am. So if your reading this after a few monthsof loneliness please take this as a sign to get back out there. I wish i had seen videos like this when it started for me
Sending you a virtual hug. You’re not alone!
Thank you so much. It is hard and I appreciate this so much.
Omg, you are so precious! Thank you for lifting me up this evening with your beautiful inspirations❤️. 3 weeks no contact after being discarded and feeling so lonely and isolated. I was most certainly led to your video. God bless you and your mission in helping all narc abuse survivors 💕
I moved 7hrs away from my abuser who still has the children. I had to do something radical. I had to leave everything & everyone I knew. While I get lonely--I also feel free & liberated from my abuser & abusive family.
Thankyou a few kind, knowledgable insights and words can literally save lives:-)
Thank you so much, I like you call us survivors, you give hope and deep understanding in your videos. When I’m struggling going through the stuff you’re talking about, your videos gives the right support, and it feels less lonely.
My favorite trip that I went on for myself after narcissistic abuse was when I went to NYC all by myself. I wish I could have stayed longer.
I was in the middle of an emotional desert when I woke up this morning. Your gentle words were the Oasis I needed. Thank you... I have subscribed.
A perfect reminder that it is paramount to actively heal yourself instead of just waiting for time to heal you. Knowledge is power and as my wise experienced therapist says... you have to name it to tame it.
I had the most loving, caring , sweetest mother in the world and all my friends were jealous of me and wished my mother were theirs.
I am so glad I found this channel. Thank you so much
Niki, you have such a sweet voice. It comforts and heals me just to hear you speak. Thank you.
Thank you for the kind reminder that all of this will pass. Currently in semi isolation, being helped by a few good people around me. They give me hope to build upon as I attempt to trust again. Your video helped to explain where I am on the map, while providing pointers to keep me moving in the positive direction.
I love hearing you talk! I get a sense of comfort and wisdom and understanding that I desperately need right now. Thank you! I feel hope
Your sincerity unbelievable
I'm taking your unclaimed course - I'm on the first exercise day 1 - love it very thought provoking
Mary Dawn Eipeldauer Awesome! Thank you for letting me know.
Oh wow fantastic video so uplifting I really needed to hear this!
Good advice! I understand about needing a time out from dating. First, recovery.👍👏
I just have to tell you what a wonderful person you are. I’m so happy for you and so grateful for your willingness to share. I relate so closely to your story and your experience. Thank you.
No contact total recluse always moving around in my tiny caravan to avoid any connections for the past 2 years now. I do meet people and they seem to like me but my hyper vigilant alarm system kicks in every time and I just retreat. I so much prefer to be alone with my dog these days. So different from my previously very extroverted life!
thank you for covering this topic. It helped to shine some light into my loneliness and give me ways to deal with isolation. I thank you for your kind words of wisdom. It will help me to self reflect. HUGS : )
You know, I am in a healing process for a couple of years now, and my whole life is changed.
I used to be surrounded by friends and family, i was living my life thinking that i ' m safe.
I took it all for granted till I met a covert narcissist.
After that i realized that something was wrong in my life.
I had boundaries but i didn't know how to set them.
Now I've been isolated from all my wrong relationships including my family. I ve lost my parents anyway, so i do not have anyone to really trust.
All that makes me feel alone, and it also makes me feel like I 'm having a second chance to become my real self.
But sometimes I lose my courage, so i want to thank you for this video. It gives me strenght to keep walking.!
very good video, thanks!
Thank you so much for this...adding it to both my spirituality and psychology playlists for future listening...once isn't enough on this one! Much love to you!
I can't believe all that I am discovering.
I have just turned 30 and discovering that my whole life was narc heaven. EXTREMELY narcissistic family, followed by multiple narcissistic relationships. I feel SO lost. I cannot believe my whole worldview has been turned upside down. And I am 30! I have no kids, never been married, and never ever would I have thought - back when i believed in fantasy land that people are kind and loving and if they're not, its because they've had hurt done to them and i can help them with their woundings yada yada yada....that i would end up single and childfree at 30 and yet here I am. The only good thing i guess is not being tied down by marriage/children with one of these absolute soul vampires. But yet I am SO Alone, got rid of all my family, ex and toxic friendships and feel like a hollow of a human being shell. Loneliness and isolation doesn't even cover it, i feel like i am dying under the weight of a thousand different emotions mixed with crippling emptiness and loneliness. I hope to god this gets better....thank you for all your videos...i just have no idea what to even think anymore
Hi Sweetheart - I understand how incredibly gut wrenching this is. Before it gets better, it helps to understand why this happened and what are the causes of narcissism. This book should help: thezeitgeistmovement.se/files/Lasch_Christopher_The_Culture_of_Narcissism.pdf You are not alone. We are all in this together. Sending you much love, Ewa
Thank you. Your insight helped me so much. I gained more perspective listening to you than I have in a very long time. Thank you and blessings.
Enlightened wisdom, thank you for reminding me!
You're part of my tribe. 💜
I absolutely love this entire video❤. I agree with everything you said and I learned quite a bit as well. I love taking time to heal in beautiful nature, so even just watching this video with the bird sounds in the background and beautiful location felt like a much needed escape for a little while to talk with a friend who understands my circumstances. So much gratitude, thank you!
I am just recently divorced. Been separated before the divorce for 13 months.He was a horrible narcissist which never showed any form of compassion but having him somewhat present for 24 years it became familiar.So,I was wondering why I didn't feel lonely at all for the past 15 months UNTIL an old flame came by to see me.I Do Not want to pour my heart out to him either because I already know where that will go and it is not safe because he is now married.I would love to say and know he could be a FRIEND but I know in my heart.NO!!!!!Today after his visit a few days ago I finally found myself feeling lonely .I want to be strong and I am still trying to heal and really get to know me.I don't like that feeling of loneliness just wanting a hug and to be able to talk without the other person thinking they are going to turn it into something Unhealthy.I will be true to myself and start being outspoken and not allowing ones like him to know what I am feeling
You are a beautiful soul. Your videos helped me so much in these hard days, struggling with a narcissistic person who abused of me for nearly a year. I hope I will find my new self soon like you. Ciao bellissima (I'm Italian ;) )
Your vibration is strong. I appreciate your guidance and the encouragement you have given is needed with this soul. The universe has indeed push the negativity out my life and I am sad that my love was not reciprocated to that person but I am so glad that it did not break me.
Love this video. I am making big changes myself. I ended up back living with my narcissist mother... so dumb -after my divorce. I ended up getting back into my old pattern and self sabotage and self defeating behavior- and so I left after I asked calmly for my mother to speak to me like an adult and she literally flew into a rage saying she was going to kill me and actually ran at me and tried to attack me. One simple boundary question and my mother was going to kill me. I already suspected that there was little or no love there. So after that she kicked me out. I started living in my car and actually feeling good about that 🙂 I tried staying with a friend but I think she was expecting something from me? She was going through a lot herself and a recent breakup so I just moved out after a week and I have been homeless for the past three months. Sometimes it is difficult to find money to eat but I am driving LYFT and making money to make my car payment while I go through bankruptcy and move from Chicago to California!!! I cannot wait!! Everything that comes out of my mothers mouth or texts is manipulative it’s unreal so getting away and getting away from everyone who knew me before I came out as the real me is the best plan the only real plan I ever made for me- the real me!!! I can’t wait 😊❤️❤️❤️
So far the right people have not come into my life and years go by and by. When you're young more doors are still open for work, relationships etc., the older you become the harder it gets plus my Fibromyalgia symptoms year in and out 24/7, the chronic fatigue leaves an impact to be "present" socializing. After small talks with people from our music project and doing what my passion is: singing and being on stage, I come home with pain and fatigue. And the musicians are much younger than me.
You’re truly beautiful inside out ! A true light worker! God bless you!!💕🧚🏻♀️🧚♂️🌹🌷👍🏼🙏🏼🌸🎁📿🧿
I saw your video and it gave me so much HOPE. Thanks for sharing this and keep going. Blessings!
Taking a pause - being - silence - stillness = power and strength - I'm getting certified as a yoga instructor - I'm writing a book - had a nervous breakdown early February 2019 - I travel all the time stay in hostels (cheap)
Thank you. It’s what I’m going through. I haven’t quite gotten to the point where I trust enough to go back out. It’s been a long while.
I think that the fact that very disordered people like that exist in this world just confirms that majority of people are still on very low level of awareness. On level 0.
And it's really dangerous not to know and understand that.
Thank you for another really good video
You are an amazing soul
Thank you :)
You are like an Angel, thanx for your words.
Definitely true, it is a process. My process is two years + in the making. Taking the time needed is a crucial part self-healing and getting back to who you are and what you be. As for trust, it is a hard thing to come by in this world. Yes I believe there are good people still out there but they are f ew and far in between anymore. I understand that many people and say that they will never trust again or risk letting anyone close, I've said that myself before. The thing is though, be guarded instead. Have your wall up, take time to truly get to know new people, as time goes on and if a new person proves they are a good person without intent on harming you, start chipping pieces out of your wall. It takes a good year or two before you can really understand what a person is about. Do not trust blindly but trust cautiously
Wow you exude so much positivity. I have seen several of your videos and found them to be very informative. I love your voice too. I can listen to it for hours on end :)
The alone part is abandoned feelings from childhood. I had to leave divorce my family their organized crime so I’m alone, what I didn’t understand at the time they protected me to an extent from other predators. Now I seem to be a target. I can’t date, so now I have to be very good with being alone with my fur pup. One thing I suggest is know the marriage, divorce laws in your state and country! Protect yourself. Predators will focus on your vulnerability, transparency, genuine kindness they listen only for using it against you. I’m sorry to say this, focus on your gifts, and hobbies. Do not over share ever male or female! We deserve better!😅
Thank you for bringing the spiritual side of healing & life into your videos - it is very helpful for me - it completes the picture :) x
This is exactly what I needed to hear tonight. Thank you.
Nice message. Attract that which you want by being it. One has to be careful not to drop your energy down a well, or waste time tossing pearls to swine, but contribute to those that will reciprocate. Jes' sayin'
Thank you again my life has been ruined by my mother she was never there for me as a little girl that is why i had no self and was in a loveless marriage for 14 years 2 beauiful girls and meet the worst abusive man i fled after 6 years now alone but sad also intuision has kicked in and very aware now thank you sending hugs x
God I wish I could change my scene. He took off and started his whole new life. I’m with the kids, the dogs, the marital house, the responsibilities...
Your beautiful in everyway. You just lifted my spirits. I really needed to see this.
Thank you.....
Great reminder, this made me feel so good, thank you! ❤️
Thank you for sharing your heart! Thank you for encouraging about loneliness and reaching out.
My narc made my big love break up with me just before we wanted to move away. Now im stuck here and my ex hates me. We were in love and this guy turned her against me , i cant even explain myself to her, and hes loving it. How can somone be so crule
Remember, stay focused, they can only do to us what we let them. Let them go already. Go into that ... wilderness of alone time to examine why u do that. U have support here.😊 keep talking. Keep watching .😁 Theres another life out there. Seek it out !
I just want to say I appreciate your videos and your medium articles.
Thank you for this video. I received great insights.
Ι found no understanding from anyone after this, except my therapist and these videos. If you haven't experienced it unfortunately you can't understand anyone who does. I felt so alone
Absolutely. You are not alone, dear Soul!
Low Vibrating Trolls are Threatened by Your Positive Spirituality. Hopefully they will find some Peace & Happiness.
Jennifer Taylor I hope they do not
Jennifer Taylor it would be nice if they learn to live differently and treat people kind but I would like them to learn that through gross abuse like they have given it out
Thanks! A beautiful presentation that gives me hope again.
I just went through a horrible discard 7 months ago. So it does balance out at some point. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you very much soul GPS.
I am also suffering from narcissist abuse for almost 8, I can easily related to you I'm almost like dead inside, since revealed this "narcissist" word myself it help me in a good deal. She thrashed my sanctity. I belong from a middle class family in India I didn't know such things exist I let her come in easily now. I ditched her 3 years ago but after few months I felt like I have done something wrong I didn't know that I was right I always felt emptiness and guilty. Now I know it was she who destroyed inner myself. 3 days ago when I came to know that she is a narcissist, I sent her a pic of witch she get so offended that everything became clear. Now I can remember Emily Dickinson poem.
I never lost as much but twice,
And that was in the sod.
Twice have I stood a beggar
Before the door of God!
Angels-twice descending
Reimbursed my store-
Burglar! Banker-Father!
I am poor once more!
hello, this is my first exposure to your insights, I i want to thank you for being so down to earth and disarming. while i it can be interesting to research the many psychological dynamics we find ourselves in your heart to encourage is refreshing. thank you.
The ptsd and unlearning all the habits, behaviors, concepts I picked up from being raised by a narcisist is daunting. I'm more aware now of my surroundings and I'm fixing the external but the internal awareness is still dawning and it's kinda freaking me out to see how much repair I have to do to my psyche in order to be a good mother and partner. I'm afraid my symptoms of being a victim for so long are preventing me from being the optimal mother I can be including the fact that I put so much stake in being a mom it's almost complete consumed my identity and self worth like I'm a confident person now and for the first time in my life because I know I'm a pretty good mom. I know that's dangerous. Having my son is a huge blessing and has lead to many moments of enlightenment but I need to dig deeper.
Life ninja. Love it.
Yes, more depressed around beautifull stuff.
So glad you made it.