Let me clear the air quickly so it makes sense. Ellie was not grounded in this video that’s why she was with her friends and had her phone. It had already been a month of her being grounded from the first time. We thought we could do something fun with her and her friends since she was NO LONGER GROUNDED!! She got in trouble for mouthing off at the mall. Her punishment was not buying anything while there. I am not going to make her friends leave the mall as well because she got in trouble they brought gift cards they had and I was going to allow them to use them because that was the plan. Like I said pick your battles meaning mouth off get nothing that’s one issue since there was a consequence we moved on from that and got cookies. Again that was the plan and she was already punished for the issue at the mall. We handle each occurrence as a reward or consequence that’s how WE DO IT!!
I thought you guys handled it really well and that the punishment fit the crime. It would have been wrong to punish her friends when they did nothing wrong, and I saw nothing wrong with still letting her have the cookies when she already received her punishment, adding more punishments after the fact I feel is wrong, unless she was warned about that beforehand.
This is why I love your family because it’s so raw & real. You’re a great mother Heather! She has to learn the hard way that you don’t get rewarded for being ugly
She does that because she’s comfortable enough to know that even though she is grounded she’s still able to go hangout with friends and still has some privileges I don’t think she truly thinks you’ll take those things away because of how lenient and nice in general that you are.
Yep. I would have been loved to be “fake grounded” (as I call it) as a teen. Grounded while still getting to hang out with friends, buy things, have your phone, etc…is not being grounded. My parents would have enjoyed that Crumbl with my siblings and I would have gotten nothing as Crumbl is considered a privilege (not a right) and you don’t get privileges when grounded. Still allowing things is continuing to enable. And this is coming from a mom of two and former nanny of 13 different children who all had firm boundaries and went through their teens without issue because they were grounded and not “fake grounded”. They learn real fast when they only get to go to school, no phone, no friends, no special snacks/drinks, no tv, and they get to wallow in their own guilt for being a turd.
you keep doing what you’re doing! not giving in is def a great step. make her start cleaning her room, bathroom, etc. she needs to start earning your respect and realize how much you do for hee
I used to act that way. I had a smart mouth, talked back, all of that. Looking back, like there was no excuse and discipline definitely helped me. They say “hit it where it hurts” (not like that lol) but my mom definitely did by taking my phone away and not letting me hangout with friends until I got it together. The second I acted out, it would repeat until I finally learned…I’m not a mom but maybe this helps for when I used to be the same way.
Ellie is not going to learn until she loses all her privileges. I guess it's time for her to be treated like a little kid if that's how she wants to act. No more hanging out with friends, no electronics, only go places with parents, no shopping. It will get her straightened out.
@@katysludds no it’s not lmao your kids are never going to take you seriously unless you teach them to she needs to learn to be more respectful and when the mom takes a little bit of her privileges she still thinks she can do what she wants that’s not good so it’s not dramatic
I have been there and done that! With my daughter when she would do something like that i would have immediately left the mall and taken her friends home. I would not allow her to go out with friends or have any “extra” until the attitude changed. I agree….it’s all in the tone. These kids now a days need to learn respect! My kids are 15 and almost 18. I feel you Heather!! It is so hard.
You do SO much for your kids Heather. Do not let them take you for granted, grounding is a punishment that’s always worked on me as a child BECAUSE I lost privileges like going places, electronics, etc. that’s the point of being grounded and actually has you realize, as a kid, what youre doing wrong ❤️
I have a sister whose 13 and I get it! i'm also a social worker for that age, I think you just need to stand your ground and not let her get the things she thinks you would normally let her get, like the lulu, when she's behaving that way. I think she will just need a reality check that she can't get everything she wants and that being nicer to you guys can help her get the things she wants. you got this! you're doing good with it! & remember it's not just you guys, it's the age. i'm sure her friends parents are all struggling too, you're not alone!
so you clean her room for her, pretty much do everything for her, shes rude in return, and “grounded” but gets to go shopping with her friends and disrespects you even more, and then gets 30 dollar cookies as a reward? you’re not a bad mom, but she gets too much which is why she thinks doing whatever she wants will get her even more.
I agree, I have a 14 year old daughter, I would have brought her straight home, friends send home definitely no cookies and grounded for 2 weeks, no friends, no treats, no technology, no shopping trips. You need to harden up Heather.
Another thing Id recommend is if she is already in trouble and allowing her to have friends over while being grounded, maybe take that away from her too and she’ll learn quick! Don’t even allow her to go to the mall with her friends only go places with y’all and don’t allow her to have crumbl even if it was the original plan 🤷🏽♀️ Doing it for a week only will make her feel it
Honestly I think trying what you said is good start but like having a talk and asking her why she does it. I am sure it’s because she wants to look cool in front of her friends but it’s not. I know from experience
Heather exactly what you are doing. Ellie is a great kid but it is that dang age. You have to stand your ground and teach her respect because she will have to have that on her own. You have done a great job and please dont feel like a bad mom when they get angry. I felt the same way alot. My kids are my entire world even if they are grown now. Do not let comments from people make you feel like you are not raising her in the best way. You are and they both will see that eventually. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are a great mom and not to let it get to you. 😊
She’s 13 and thinks she can get what she wants. Therefore she’s going to yell at you because she thinks she can. Stay firm and don’t let her speak to you like that. Also, the fact that she really yelled at you because you asked for a sip of water is just funny 😂 I grew up in a military family so the first time I did what Ellie did was the last time. You should be more strict also with the whole money spending. She should work for the money, not ask you for any. Chores is enough lol
My daughter is 11 and starting with the tone you’re talking about. Thank you for showing your real life, I always can relate to you guys in some way or another!
My mom would have made us leave the mall and she would’ve taken my friends home. I usually lost all privileges and all fun plans would be canceled for the day if I have attitude or raised my voice.
In todays age you have to pick your battles. She yelled and got mouthy her consequence was not being able to buy anything. Each struggle has a consequence and that’s what we are teaching her right now.
@@emmaandellie I think you’re doing a wonderful job! I know I wasn’t easy on my mom by any means! I also personally feel like my mom over did punishments like that growing up but I did quickly learn to not give attitude. That being said I also grew to feel like I couldn’t express emotions as much. All you can do is your best❤️❤️
I'd totally do the same thing with my kids. I don't care if their friends are there or not. that attitude comes out & we're going home sans friends. depending on how bad the attitude is, I'd probably make them return everything they had already bought too.
13 is a tough age, unfortunately I used to speak to my mother the same way at that age. I never understood what the issue was because my words weren't hurtful, but it was the tone just like you said. You guys will get through it and I think you're doing the right thing!
I’ve watched you since Emma was young young & you’ve always been a great mom I felt like they walked over you at some points in your some videos and I’m so glad you’re finally putting a stop to it. You definitely do sooo much for your kids they should be so lucky to have you! I wish I had a mom half as good as you are.
Thanks for being so raw with us Heather. I remember being 13 and acting similar. This is such a hard age and with maturity things will change. I think your doing great. Wishing y’all the best.
Don’t reward for bad behavior! Take it all away! She either will change, or grounding will make her change. Make her do more chores, and spend her grounding around you and Mark. Entitlement is not on her side. I’m glad Emma is doing good. Ellie, change your behavior and attitude or stay grounded from everything! Your parents have nothing but time to wait for you to get your act together!
I love your family. Heather your a beautiful mother. Heather you and Mark are great parents. sending lots of love from nz. love your videos x so happy for Emma going to a Concert x
i acted the same when i was 13, im 18 now and i feel absolutely terrible for treating my parents that way. she probably doesn’t realize it now. all you can do is just continue teaching her the correct ways.
If I ever acted that way my mom would block me from everything. You’re being too nice for her being “grounded”. If she’s grounded that means no friends, no phone, no tv, no shopping, no crumbl cookies. You sit at home and you clean your room and bathroom and other than that you sit in silence. You are such an amazing mom and she is pushing her limits because she knows how amazing you are.
I'm not a parent but here are some things I think you should apply. Definitely no money or anything luxury only necessities. No phone or electronics of any kind minus watching tv with family/games with family. Make her clean her own room/bathroom weekly or whenever it needs to be cleaned if it's gets messy before that. Make her do her own laundry once a week. Make her cook once a week. Make her do dishes/help clean the kitchen. No going out with friends or having friends over at all. Only going out with you or emma. Doing homework as soon as she gets home. No fast food or restaurant food at all unless it's necessary. No sweets or junk food. Take the dogs for a walk once a day. Anything else you think she wouldn't like to do that needs to be done.
You guys are doing exactly right. If she's doing that snappy tone thing there's only a matter of time before she will be cussing you guys out if you don't intervene now.
this is how my cousin used to be, it was rarely corrected only by everyone else but her parents; she’s 22 now and is worse but now she “can’t” be corrected because she’s an “adult” and makes her own choices. im 26 and respect my mom because she did not accept this behavior whereas my cousin can say some really ugly witchy things to her mom who was a single parent. not i’m not a mom but the very few times i acted because unfortunately i thought it was cool my mom took every single thing away from me; my most memorable was skipping out on my best friends quince but now i can accept accountability for not having those memories i wish i could have
my mom would neverrr let me yell at her or disrespect her, I learned from a young age how to respect my mother and others if not i would’ve gotten a whopping and everything taken away. She definitely got it easy but that’s just the way you want to “punish” her.
The funny thing about teenagers.. they’re embarrassed for their friends to hear that they’re sick even when they’re not but they’re not embarrassed to throw a tantrum over water in front of their friends 😅 I sure can’t wait for my kids to be that age 😆 my advice would be don’t give empty threats. Stand ground. It sounds like you do so good job 👏🏼
Hi Heather, my parents when I was the age of 13 now I’m 20 but back then my parents usually would take my friends back home and cancel every plan for that day, they would also tell me to go to my room and take away my phone and tv, they would come into my room when they saw I was calm and sit next to me in bed and explain to me that what I did was wrong, that I shouldn’t have yelled or some sort. If during the week I start behaving better I would gain little by little my privileges back. I am grateful my parents did that because now I know what’s wrong and what’s right! Hope this helps!
Oh Ellie. It's hard being a teenager and even harder a parent of a teenager. I think you're doing great setting boundaries and being clear with her about why she's in trouble. Wishing peace for you all!
Hang in there, you got this. There is nothing like raising a teenager. And every kid is different so what works for one may not work for another. You stay strong and keep doing what you are doing. What you are trying to teach her is very important, not just with you guys but in life how you talk to people matters. And thank you for showing us mother’s that we are not the only ones that go through this stuff. 💜
just to make sure i would make sure ellie’s mental health is okay. while i was struggling silently with mine i took my issues out on others and even the slightest thing would irritate me so bad for no reason, i ended up being diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. it could just be the teenage phase but i would just make sure it’s not something deeper
As a teenage girl, I fully agree that Ellie needs to be disciplined for her actions. My mom wouldn’t be putting up with it. You’ve learned that she still continues to act even though you have grounded her. Take away all of her privileges and she will eventually start to act right once she realizes you’re willing to do so.
Your an amazing mom Heather, keep doing what your doing! 🙌When I was around Ellie’s age I got a part time job and that definitely really helped me to learn responsibility as well as valuing money and how to work well with others/communication. Every one is different though and i’m not a mom but just thought I’d let you know what helped me get out of that phase in life😂 Love your family and how real you guys are!❤️
Thank you for making this video so relatable. My teenage girls have mouths on them also. I appreciate you being real and not pretending that everything is perfect.
I’m also 13, and it’s hard🙃 I constantly (and I know everyone else my age) want to seem “cool” or want to be normal around our friends and people we look up to. 13 is the age of finding yourself so it’s natural. I don’t have much say in stuff like this but I personally learn best when the things I enjoy the most like for example phone,tv,snacks,friends etc. is taken away.
I’m 42, I don’t have kids, but I had an attitude just like Ellie at her age. My mom and I used to have literal screaming matches. I never won. If I had yelled at my mom like that in public, she would’ve taken me home, and not allowed me to see my friends for God knows how long. We didn’t have cellphones and stuff in the 90’s when I was a teen, but TV, music, video games and talking on the house phone wouldn’t have been something I did for a VERY long time if I back-talked my Mom. Maybe if she keeps up the attitude don’t let her see her friends at all. Just my suggestion based on what my mom used to do that worked with me.
They have it easy and good compared to others. When I was younger my mom made us do our own laundry, clean our own rooms and keep them clean. If our rooms wasn’t clean and chores wasn’t done then no phone, tv, ect. And when we would get grounded we couldn’t even have friends over or get anything that’s not a need.
I remember having the worst attitude to my parents when I was younger. You definitely grow out of it. BUT BOY WAS MY MOM NOT HAVING IT, they took out my door, didn’t let me go out with friends, took my phone away. I learned real quick that my parents weren’t playing.
I think you guys are great parents you do a lot for them rather everyone knows that or not you guys know that and so do the girls! I’m glad you guys actually discipline your children when they are acting up because I feel like a lot of you tubers don’t show that part let me get seem like their life is just all perfect all rainbows so I know I at least really appreciate you guys being 100% on your channel
Honestly I was that kid just like Ellie still catch my self in the bad habits of being rude and angry really fast . My mom use to take my phone not let me do anything and that’s what would work she wouldn’t let me do anything wouldn’t buy anything not even wash my clothes I had to do it my self wouldn’t even tell me if dinner was ready because she didn’t feel appreciated so she stopped doing stuff for me and when I realized how much I needed her I stopped . i asked for forgiveness and I tried my best and then we got along .. u have to cut her off now before it gets worse I know it’ll hurt and I know it’ll be hard but maybe just try it YOUR DOING GREAT MAMA !
I use to be like ellie at that age. My mom and I use to butt heads all the time bc of my tone. Everything she said made me snap or would irritate me. My mom just stopped doing stuff for me (materialistic) and tried to build a connection with me 1 on 1. After a while my mom and I got closer. She will grow out of it and eventually see that her parents are her biggest supporters!!
I’ve got 4 boys. 23,22,18 and 16. You’re doing the right thing. Stand your ground. If you give in once, then it sets that standard!! You’re going a great job!!
Heather you are a great mom been watching you guys years and how much the girls have grown.I’m a girl mom of three a 14,9 and 4 year old. When my 14 year old was 13 she had the same attitude and I would take her phone away and ground her and I also had her do more chores. I realized also that I was spoiling her by doing to much for her Like her laundry and cleaning her room and she wasn’t learning to be more independent. May be try having her having her do more thing on her own so she realizes how hard you work to give her what she needs like washing her clothes,keeping her room neat and taking her places. Just remember your a great mom regardless of anything you know you daughter the best. I hope things get better teenage years are the worst.
i’d say no contact with friends outside of school until her attitude has been good consistently for at least a week, if not 2. if i yelled at my parent in the mall when i was her age… my mom would’ve just taken us home right then. don’t give in! teenagers are hard!
you still don't really ground her. I was the same way if not worse. she know she can get away with things. she needs a true grounding. no phone, friends, shopping, TV etc. school, home, sports. thats it. if she goes with you and Mark she don't need anything but food to eat. it's showing yall need to be tuffer
I would start off with no friends. That’s what needs to happen. They need to move far away and put her in a new school. These friends are awful. The tone of the one friend with Heather in the car was awful.
I feel you Heather. I have a daughter too and this is the most difficult stage of childhood but if you don't correct the behavior now it gets worse as they get older. My daughter used to pull that crap with me all the time and she went plenty of times without. I love Marc's solution 😜 hey that's how our parents raised us and we turned out ok.
Tough love; you are doing amazing. Stay consistant - train them up right, and you will see the reward when they are older. I really like how you deal with it and then move past it.
omg i work at a concert venue and pitbull came a few weeks ago and it was BY FAR THE BEST concert of the year it was just like a huge party it was sooo fun you’re gonna love it!!
Being grounded should not translate to being able to hang with friends at the mall. You're right to stand your gound, and it seems like you need to go that step further and not let her hang out with friends because the defeats the purpose of taking her phone away (she doesn't need to text her friends if they're right beside her)
You’re an amazing mom! I’m around Emma’s age and when I was Ellie’s age, taking things away did not work because I just found new things to do and I had tv. But my parents would not give me any money to spend or any new things until they’d see constant good attitude/behavior. So then I changed up my behavior and got a part time job where my dad worked. That made me work hard and change my attitude. However I must say I didn’t have that issue all the time and I was pretty good and quiet most of the time. I definitely did not have a lot of behavior issues. I am happy that Emma is doing better and trying new things! I remember going to a Kelly Clarkson and Miley Cyrus concert because me and my friend loved them. Eli’s birthday is coming up, I can’t wait to see the vlog hopefully if she posts one. A great place in Orlando is Disney springs. If you want Disney souvenirs it’s a great place to go. Magic kingdom would be nice for a birthday too. Also me and my friends go to the cinema at Disney springs; it’s AMC dine in. We love it there.
I went to a Backstreet Boys Concert middle of July!! That was my dream concert. Pitbull was in NJ in August. I know alot of his older music. Havent listened to him in a while tho.
My parents would literally ground me into my room and wasn’t allowed to do absolutely anything. I wasn’t allowed to go to practice even cause that was a privilege to me. I’m 22 now and I am very grateful my parents never let me act that way and nipped it very quick
I have 3 boys I tear their butts up especially my older 2 now my youngest is 16 it's harder with him cause he is usually a good kid but sometimes he gets out of line. I definitely shaded some tears. I believe the Lord didn't give me girls cause I wouldn't know what to do. That's the hardest thing is not to give in. Because it's like the parents are in trouble too. Hopefully Ellie sees how to act sooner than later because it's her life.
My younger sister has the same thing of what Ellie is doing because of the attitude and talking back to people and how she is responding to my mom and always getting into trouble
emma i PROMISE harry potter is SOOOO good. i thought the same thing for yearsss and then got my hands on all 8 movies and watched them all in a day, i absolutely am in love with harry potter now.
Emma. I just went and saw Pitbull you’re going to have such an AMAZING time of your life. I know his songs, I have since I was very young and I grew up with him, but even if you didnt it and whoever you take even if they don’t it’s still going to be the best time ever is literally such a rush is, it’s amazing you feel like you’re on top of the world and like literally everyone needs to experience one before he stops going on tour or you can’t go no more it’s amazing the best thing ever I swear. Like I can’t express how much fun it was and such an adrenaline rush it was. I’m so happy for you. You deserve this, you’re gonna have the time of your life girl. 🤩🤍
She had attitude like that with me, ESPECIALLY infront of her friends she wouldn't be crossing the door for a good 2 weeks. No phone or tablet either. Grounded and no friends visiting, no going put shopping. Grounded means grounded at home. She carries on with her behaviour she just gets grounded for longer with no phone for a month.
My little brother who is 17 is the exact same way and my parents don’t know how to deal with it bc me and my older brother were never like that! I say keep doing what you’re doing and not giving it bc my parents kept giving in and that’s why he is the way he is, nip it in the butt while she’s young! You’re doing great🤍
My mom even went to an extent one time with me and my older sister when we got grounded and she got tired of us not listening she took everything out of mine and my sisters room besides our bed and outfits she picked out for that school week. We had to earn back everything by doing chores showing respect / change , good grades ect
To me it seems like she’s showing off so personally I’d fully ground her. No friends, no tv, no phone. Every disrespectful comment without an apology is an extension. That’s just me but she’s not mine and honestly, those punishments didn’t work for my son but, he didn’t have a ton of friends when he was in school because we moved a couple of times so there’s that 🤣
Let me clear the air quickly so it makes sense. Ellie was not grounded in this video that’s why she was with her friends and had her phone. It had already been a month of her being grounded from the first time. We thought we could do something fun with her and her friends since she was NO LONGER GROUNDED!! She got in trouble for mouthing off at the mall. Her punishment was not buying anything while there. I am not going to make her friends leave the mall as well because she got in trouble they brought gift cards they had and I was going to allow them to use them because that was the plan. Like I said pick your battles meaning mouth off get nothing that’s one issue since there was a consequence we moved on from that and got cookies. Again that was the plan and she was already punished for the issue at the mall. We handle each occurrence as a reward or consequence that’s how WE DO IT!!
I thought you guys handled it really well and that the punishment fit the crime. It would have been wrong to punish her friends when they did nothing wrong, and I saw nothing wrong with still letting her have the cookies when she already received her punishment, adding more punishments after the fact I feel is wrong, unless she was warned about that beforehand.
You both are doing well as parents . You guys are amazing .
This is why I love your family because it’s so raw & real. You’re a great mother Heather!
She has to learn the hard way that you don’t get rewarded for being ugly
THIS IS SO WELL PUT!!!
She does that because she’s comfortable enough to know that even though she is grounded she’s still able to go hangout with friends and still has some privileges I don’t think she truly thinks you’ll take those things away because of how lenient and nice in general that you are.
exactly!!
And she does need to take away her friends.
Yep. I would have been loved to be “fake grounded” (as I call it) as a teen. Grounded while still getting to hang out with friends, buy things, have your phone, etc…is not being grounded. My parents would have enjoyed that Crumbl with my siblings and I would have gotten nothing as Crumbl is considered a privilege (not a right) and you don’t get privileges when grounded. Still allowing things is continuing to enable. And this is coming from a mom of two and former nanny of 13 different children who all had firm boundaries and went through their teens without issue because they were grounded and not “fake grounded”. They learn real fast when they only get to go to school, no phone, no friends, no special snacks/drinks, no tv, and they get to wallow in their own guilt for being a turd.
So true!!!
yes
you keep doing what you’re doing! not giving in is def a great step. make her start cleaning her room, bathroom, etc. she needs to start earning your respect and realize how much you do for hee
I used to act that way. I had a smart mouth, talked back, all of that. Looking back, like there was no excuse and discipline definitely helped me. They say “hit it where it hurts” (not like that lol) but my mom definitely did by taking my phone away and not letting me hangout with friends until I got it together. The second I acted out, it would repeat until I finally learned…I’m not a mom but maybe this helps for when I used to be the same way.
Ellie is not going to learn until she loses all her privileges. I guess it's time for her to be treated like a little kid if that's how she wants to act. No more hanging out with friends, no electronics, only go places with parents, no shopping. It will get her straightened out.
bit dramatic
@@katysludds no it’s not lmao your kids are never going to take you seriously unless you teach them to she needs to learn to be more respectful and when the mom takes a little bit of her privileges she still thinks she can do what she wants that’s not good so it’s not dramatic
Yes I totally agree with you she needs no electronics no friends no tv only going with parents
@@katysludds it's not dramatic considering she hasn't learned her lesson so far.
I have been there and done that! With my daughter when she would do something like that i would have immediately left the mall and taken her friends home. I would not allow her to go out with friends or have any “extra” until the attitude changed. I agree….it’s all in the tone. These kids now a days need to learn respect! My kids are 15 and almost 18. I feel you Heather!! It is so hard.
You do SO much for your kids Heather. Do not let them take you for granted, grounding is a punishment that’s always worked on me as a child BECAUSE I lost privileges like going places, electronics, etc. that’s the point of being grounded and actually has you realize, as a kid, what youre doing wrong ❤️
I get yelled at by my teens too and i’m 34. No means no stand your ground. I love seeing this side, it helps give us tips.
I have a sister whose 13 and I get it! i'm also a social worker for that age, I think you just need to stand your ground and not let her get the things she thinks you would normally let her get, like the lulu, when she's behaving that way. I think she will just need a reality check that she can't get everything she wants and that being nicer to you guys can help her get the things she wants. you got this! you're doing good with it! & remember it's not just you guys, it's the age. i'm sure her friends parents are all struggling too, you're not alone!
so you clean her room for her, pretty much do everything for her, shes rude in return, and “grounded” but gets to go shopping with her friends and disrespects you even more, and then gets 30 dollar cookies as a reward? you’re not a bad mom, but she gets too much which is why she thinks doing whatever she wants will get her even more.
True
I agree, I have a 14 year old daughter, I would have brought her straight home, friends send home definitely no cookies and grounded for 2 weeks, no friends, no treats, no technology, no shopping trips. You need to harden up Heather.
Mixed Messages! Either parents stand their ground or suffer the consequences
this
Another thing Id recommend is if she is already in trouble and allowing her to have friends over while being grounded, maybe take that away from her too and she’ll learn quick! Don’t even allow her to go to the mall with her friends only go places with y’all and don’t allow her to have crumbl even if it was the original plan 🤷🏽♀️ Doing it for a week only will make her feel it
Honestly I think trying what you said is good start but like having a talk and asking her why she does it. I am sure it’s because she wants to look cool in front of her friends but it’s not. I know from experience
I agree, every time I would get grounded, I would have no phone, no friends, no going out to the mall, just school and home.
@@nattyice3106 Same thing for me
@Kayla w Also I wouldn't be getting anything from Starbucks
@@nattyice3106 I wouldn't either.
Heather exactly what you are doing. Ellie is a great kid but it is that dang age. You have to stand your ground and teach her respect because she will have to have that on her own. You have done a great job and please dont feel like a bad mom when they get angry. I felt the same way alot. My kids are my entire world even if they are grown now. Do not let comments from people make you feel like you are not raising her in the best way. You are and they both will see that eventually. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are a great mom and not to let it get to you. 😊
She’s 13 and thinks she can get what she wants. Therefore she’s going to yell at you because she thinks she can. Stay firm and don’t let her speak to you like that. Also, the fact that she really yelled at you because you asked for a sip of water is just funny 😂 I grew up in a military family so the first time I did what Ellie did was the last time. You should be more strict also with the whole money spending. She should work for the money, not ask you for any. Chores is enough lol
My daughter is 11 and starting with the tone you’re talking about. Thank you for showing your real life, I always can relate to you guys in some way or another!
My mom would have made us leave the mall and she would’ve taken my friends home. I usually lost all privileges and all fun plans would be canceled for the day if I have attitude or raised my voice.
In todays age you have to pick your battles. She yelled and got mouthy her consequence was not being able to buy anything. Each struggle has a consequence and that’s what we are teaching her right now.
@@emmaandellie I think you’re doing a wonderful job! I know I wasn’t easy on my mom by any means! I also personally feel like my mom over did punishments like that growing up but I did quickly learn to not give attitude. That being said I also grew to feel like I couldn’t express emotions as much. All you can do is your best❤️❤️
I'd totally do the same thing with my kids. I don't care if their friends are there or not. that attitude comes out & we're going home sans friends. depending on how bad the attitude is, I'd probably make them return everything they had already bought too.
13 is a tough age, unfortunately I used to speak to my mother the same way at that age. I never understood what the issue was because my words weren't hurtful, but it was the tone just like you said. You guys will get through it and I think you're doing the right thing!
You guys are the parents so keep it up and hang in there! She’s not the boss and you are not there friends! I think you do so much for them!
Thanks for being so candid. It is hard with teens sometimes but we have to stick to our rules and consequences as parents. Hang in there.
I’ve watched you since Emma was young young & you’ve always been a great mom I felt like they walked over you at some points in your some videos and I’m so glad you’re finally putting a stop to it. You definitely do sooo much for your kids they should be so lucky to have you! I wish I had a mom half as good as you are.
Thanks for being so raw with us Heather. I remember being 13 and acting similar. This is such a hard age and with maturity things will change. I think your doing great. Wishing y’all the best.
I love that you guys are real on the vlogs, cause it’s life! Not everything is perfect
Don’t reward for bad behavior! Take it all away! She either will change, or grounding will make her change. Make her do more chores, and spend her grounding around you and Mark. Entitlement is not on her side. I’m glad Emma is doing good. Ellie, change your behavior and attitude or stay grounded from everything! Your parents have nothing but time to wait for you to get your act together!
Heather shouldn’t allow her to hang out with friends. Taking other stuff away while still letting her have friends around isn’t helping.
I love your family. Heather your a beautiful mother. Heather you and Mark are great parents. sending lots of love from nz. love your videos x so happy for Emma going to a Concert x
i acted the same when i was 13, im 18 now and i feel absolutely terrible for treating my parents that way. she probably doesn’t realize it now. all you can do is just continue teaching her the correct ways.
If I ever acted that way my mom would block me from everything. You’re being too nice for her being “grounded”. If she’s grounded that means no friends, no phone, no tv, no shopping, no crumbl cookies. You sit at home and you clean your room and bathroom and other than that you sit in silence. You are such an amazing mom and she is pushing her limits because she knows how amazing you are.
I'm not a parent but here are some things I think you should apply.
Definitely no money or anything luxury only necessities.
No phone or electronics of any kind minus watching tv with family/games with family.
Make her clean her own room/bathroom weekly or whenever it needs to be cleaned if it's gets messy before that.
Make her do her own laundry once a week.
Make her cook once a week.
Make her do dishes/help clean the kitchen.
No going out with friends or having friends over at all.
Only going out with you or emma.
Doing homework as soon as she gets home.
No fast food or restaurant food at all unless it's necessary.
No sweets or junk food.
Take the dogs for a walk once a day.
Anything else you think she wouldn't like to do that needs to be done.
You guys are doing exactly right. If she's doing that snappy tone thing there's only a matter of time before she will be cussing you guys out if you don't intervene now.
I saw Pitbull and I’ve loved Pitbull for as long as I can remember. His concert is so much fun!
i’m not a parent but don’t give in or she won’t learn , you guys are doing a great job! love the videos!!
Personally, I would not let my child hang out with friends. That’s a privilege.
this is how my cousin used to be, it was rarely corrected only by everyone else but her parents; she’s 22 now and is worse but now she “can’t” be corrected because she’s an “adult” and makes her own choices. im 26 and respect my mom because she did not accept this behavior whereas my cousin can say some really ugly witchy things to her mom who was a single parent.
not i’m not a mom but the very few times i acted because unfortunately i thought it was cool my mom took every single thing away from me; my most memorable was skipping out on my best friends quince but now i can accept accountability for not having those memories i wish i could have
my mom would neverrr let me yell at her or disrespect her, I learned from a young age how to respect my mother and others if not i would’ve gotten a whopping and everything taken away. She definitely got it easy but that’s just the way you want to “punish” her.
The funny thing about teenagers.. they’re embarrassed for their friends to hear that they’re sick even when they’re not but they’re not embarrassed to throw a tantrum over water in front of their friends 😅 I sure can’t wait for my kids to be that age 😆 my advice would be don’t give empty threats. Stand ground. It sounds like you do so good job 👏🏼
Hi Heather, my parents when I was the age of 13 now I’m 20 but back then my parents usually would take my friends back home and cancel every plan for that day, they would also tell me to go to my room and take away my phone and tv, they would come into my room when they saw I was calm and sit next to me in bed and explain to me that what I did was wrong, that I shouldn’t have yelled or some sort. If during the week I start behaving better I would gain little by little my privileges back. I am grateful my parents did that because now I know what’s wrong and what’s right! Hope this helps!
Oh Ellie. It's hard being a teenager and even harder a parent of a teenager. I think you're doing great setting boundaries and being clear with her about why she's in trouble. Wishing peace for you all!
You guys are doing a great job as parents. Heather you and Mark are really trying your hardest to do what you guys can do for your girls.
Great job momma!!! It is really hard but you and mark have each other don’t give in
Hang in there, you got this. There is nothing like raising a teenager. And every kid is different so what works for one may not work for another. You stay strong and keep doing what you are doing. What you are trying to teach her is very important, not just with you guys but in life how you talk to people matters. And thank you for showing us mother’s that we are not the only ones that go through this stuff. 💜
i went to a pitbull concert this past friday & it was absolutely the BEST concert i have ever been to !! so excited for emma !!🤍
i went to the pitbull concert in milwaukee last month & it was AMAZING. you’re gonna have so much fun emma!!!! hope you vlog it :))
You are doing great Heather! Ellie will learn soon and you are amazing to Ellie & emma! Emma, have so much fun! Awesome video :))
just to make sure i would make sure ellie’s mental health is okay. while i was struggling silently with mine i took my issues out on others and even the slightest thing would irritate me so bad for no reason, i ended up being diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. it could just be the teenage phase but i would just make sure it’s not something deeper
Pitbull puts on THE MOST FUN concert!
As a teenage girl, I fully agree that Ellie needs to be disciplined for her actions. My mom wouldn’t be putting up with it. You’ve learned that she still continues to act even though you have grounded her. Take away all of her privileges and she will eventually start to act right once she realizes you’re willing to do so.
i have always loved how open you guys are! I have watched y’all since you started and i feel like i have grown up with emma 🥺
Your an amazing mom Heather, keep doing what your doing! 🙌When I was around Ellie’s age I got a part time job and that definitely really helped me to learn responsibility as well as valuing money and how to work well with others/communication. Every one is different though and i’m not a mom but just thought I’d let you know what helped me get out of that phase in life😂 Love your family and how real you guys are!❤️
Thank you for making this video so relatable. My teenage girls have mouths on them also. I appreciate you being real and not pretending that everything is perfect.
I’m also 13, and it’s hard🙃 I constantly (and I know everyone else my age) want to seem “cool” or want to be normal around our friends and people we look up to. 13 is the age of finding yourself so it’s natural. I don’t have much say in stuff like this but I personally learn best when the things I enjoy the most like for example phone,tv,snacks,friends etc. is taken away.
I’m 42, I don’t have kids, but I had an attitude just like Ellie at her age. My mom and I used to have literal screaming matches. I never won. If I had yelled at my mom like that in public, she would’ve taken me home, and not allowed me to see my friends for God knows how long. We didn’t have cellphones and stuff in the 90’s when I was a teen, but TV, music, video games and talking on the house phone wouldn’t have been something I did for a VERY long time if I back-talked my Mom. Maybe if she keeps up the attitude don’t let her see her friends at all. Just my suggestion based on what my mom used to do that worked with me.
Same here
They have it easy and good compared to others. When I was younger my mom made us do our own laundry, clean our own rooms and keep them clean. If our rooms wasn’t clean and chores wasn’t done then no phone, tv, ect. And when we would get grounded we couldn’t even have friends over or get anything that’s not a need.
I remember having the worst attitude to my parents when I was younger. You definitely grow out of it. BUT BOY WAS MY MOM NOT HAVING IT, they took out my door, didn’t let me go out with friends, took my phone away. I learned real quick that my parents weren’t playing.
I also have a 13 year old, but a boy and it’s the same 🤦🏻♀️ We’ll get through it! Loving parents correct their children ❤ Love your videos!
I think you guys are great parents you do a lot for them rather everyone knows that or not you guys know that and so do the girls! I’m glad you guys actually discipline your children when they are acting up because I feel like a lot of you tubers don’t show that part let me get seem like their life is just all perfect all rainbows so I know I at least really appreciate you guys being 100% on your channel
Honestly I was that kid just like Ellie still catch my self in the bad habits of being rude and angry really fast . My mom use to take my phone not let me do anything and that’s what would work she wouldn’t let me do anything wouldn’t buy anything not even wash my clothes I had to do it my self wouldn’t even tell me if dinner was ready because she didn’t feel appreciated so she stopped doing stuff for me and when I realized how much I needed her I stopped . i asked for forgiveness and I tried my best and then we got along .. u have to cut her off now before it gets worse I know it’ll hurt and I know it’ll be hard but maybe just try it YOUR DOING GREAT MAMA !
I use to be like ellie at that age. My mom and I use to butt heads all the time bc of my tone. Everything she said made me snap or would irritate me. My mom just stopped doing stuff for me (materialistic) and tried to build a connection with me 1 on 1. After a while my mom and I got closer. She will grow out of it and eventually see that her parents are her biggest supporters!!
I’ve got 4 boys. 23,22,18 and 16. You’re doing the right thing. Stand your ground. If you give in once, then it sets that standard!! You’re going a great job!!
Emma was so funny with his stress to buy concert tickets :D
Heather you are a great mom been watching you guys years and how much the girls have grown.I’m a girl mom of three a 14,9 and 4 year old. When my 14 year old was 13 she had the same attitude and I would take her phone away and ground her and I also had her do more chores. I realized also that I was spoiling her by doing to much for her Like her laundry and cleaning her room and she wasn’t learning to be more independent. May be try having her having her do more thing on her own so she realizes how hard you work to give her what she needs like washing her clothes,keeping her room neat and taking her places. Just remember your a great mom regardless of anything you know you daughter the best. I hope things get better teenage years are the worst.
i’d say no contact with friends outside of school until her attitude has been good consistently for at least a week, if not 2. if i yelled at my parent in the mall when i was her age… my mom would’ve just taken us home right then. don’t give in! teenagers are hard!
I was always told, pick your battles. I had many to choose from 😂
you still don't really ground her. I was the same way if not worse. she know she can get away with things. she needs a true grounding. no phone, friends, shopping, TV etc. school, home, sports. thats it. if she goes with you and Mark she don't need anything but food to eat. it's showing yall need to be tuffer
Agree
Agree
Yes my parents would of took my friends home
I would start off with no friends. That’s what needs to happen. They need to move far away and put her in a new school. These friends are awful. The tone of the one friend with Heather in the car was awful.
Omg Pitbull was my very first concert. He puts on an amazing show and everyone was dancing all night. I love Mr.Worldwide
I feel you Heather. I have a daughter too and this is the most difficult stage of childhood but if you don't correct the behavior now it gets worse as they get older. My daughter used to pull that crap with me all the time and she went plenty of times without. I love Marc's solution 😜 hey that's how our parents raised us and we turned out ok.
I got it too and it worked so I second that lol
You're being too nice Heather I didn't get nothing if I yelled at my parents and I turned out fine and we have a good relationship
Good morning everyone happy Saturday morning and I loved your vlogs and you all amazing Supporter
Tough love; you are doing amazing. Stay consistant - train them up right, and you will see the reward when they are older. I really like how you deal with it and then move past it.
omg i work at a concert venue and pitbull came a few weeks ago and it was BY FAR THE BEST concert of the year it was just like a huge party it was sooo fun you’re gonna love it!!
Being grounded should not translate to being able to hang with friends at the mall. You're right to stand your gound, and it seems like you need to go that step further and not let her hang out with friends because the defeats the purpose of taking her phone away
(she doesn't need to text her friends if they're right beside her)
She wasn’t grounded in this video.
You’re an amazing mom! I’m around Emma’s age and when I was Ellie’s age, taking things away did not work because I just found new things to do and I had tv. But my parents would not give me any money to spend or any new things until they’d see constant good attitude/behavior. So then I changed up my behavior and got a part time job where my dad worked. That made me work hard and change my attitude. However I must say I didn’t have that issue all the time and I was pretty good and quiet most of the time. I definitely did not have a lot of behavior issues.
I am happy that Emma is doing better and trying new things! I remember going to a Kelly Clarkson and Miley Cyrus concert because me and my friend loved them. Eli’s birthday is coming up, I can’t wait to see the vlog hopefully if she posts one. A great place in Orlando is Disney springs. If you want Disney souvenirs it’s a great place to go. Magic kingdom would be nice for a birthday too. Also me and my friends go to the cinema at Disney springs; it’s AMC dine in. We love it there.
I went to pitbull in my state, and it was the literal BEST concert I have been to- you will not be disapointed!
Suggestion: do what u think is best, u know right in ur heart, & cuz of her age, hopefully time will fix it, ur doing a terrific job, love u❤
Hey, it's all about respect!! You did right. The kids decide to act up in front of friends. You must set them right!
U are great parents!!!.....glad you deal with her instead of let it go.....I'm dealing with the same stuff you're not alone....lol
I went to a Backstreet Boys Concert middle of July!! That was my dream concert. Pitbull was in NJ in August. I know alot of his older music. Havent listened to him in a while tho.
You do everything for them. Stop doing things for them. Make them do their own things.
My parents would literally ground me into my room and wasn’t allowed to do absolutely anything. I wasn’t allowed to go to practice even cause that was a privilege to me. I’m 22 now and I am very grateful my parents never let me act that way and nipped it very quick
I have a 6yr old brother that’s basically my child and I’m the same way with him.
Great job Heather! You did the right thing 👍👍
You’re doing great, Heather! Just stay consistent and don’t back down! She will finally figure out that you’re not giving in anymore! ❤
I have 3 boys I tear their butts up especially my older 2 now my youngest is 16 it's harder with him cause he is usually a good kid but sometimes he gets out of line. I definitely shaded some tears. I believe the Lord didn't give me girls cause I wouldn't know what to do. That's the hardest thing is not to give in. Because it's like the parents are in trouble too. Hopefully Ellie sees how to act sooner than later because it's her life.
My younger sister has the same thing of what Ellie is doing because of the attitude and talking back to people and how she is responding to my mom and always getting into trouble
Heather you and Mark are very good Parents to Emma and Ellie
Consistency is key! Set the standard if she goes below it there’s consequences. Let her know your word means something🧡
emma i PROMISE harry potter is SOOOO good. i thought the same thing for yearsss and then got my hands on all 8 movies and watched them all in a day, i absolutely am in love with harry potter now.
Awesome good for you! Congrats! Have fun.
I think you are doing the right thing. My mom would do the same thing. Keep doing you doing
Ooooh, Ellie has some rude awakenings coming lol
I’m also going to a pit bull concert in October is it in Orlando??
I'm dealing with the same with my 13 year old son. We are also trying to teach tone!
omg emma yr gonna have the time of yr life!!!! i went to his san antonio concert it was awesome!!!
Mark is so funny! Please put mark in every video 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I have a 11 year old who does the same thing and she is constantly in the middle of drama and it driving me completely insane I can't do it any more
Emma is doing great at things and Ellie needs to respect her parents
emma is so pretty
I have that problem with concerts too. I live in Wisconsin and barley anyone famous comes here to do concerts 😅🤷♀️
Emma. I just went and saw Pitbull you’re going to have such an AMAZING time of your life. I know his songs, I have since I was very young and I grew up with him, but even if you didnt it and whoever you take even if they don’t it’s still going to be the best time ever is literally such a rush is, it’s amazing you feel like you’re on top of the world and like literally everyone needs to experience one before he stops going on tour or you can’t go no more it’s amazing the best thing ever I swear. Like I can’t express how much fun it was and such an adrenaline rush it was. I’m so happy for you. You deserve this, you’re gonna have the time of your life girl. 🤩🤍
She had attitude like that with me, ESPECIALLY infront of her friends she wouldn't be crossing the door for a good 2 weeks. No phone or tablet either. Grounded and no friends visiting, no going put shopping. Grounded means grounded at home.
She carries on with her behaviour she just gets grounded for longer with no phone for a month.
My little brother who is 17 is the exact same way and my parents don’t know how to deal with it bc me and my older brother were never like that! I say keep doing what you’re doing and not giving it bc my parents kept giving in and that’s why he is the way he is, nip it in the butt while she’s young! You’re doing great🤍
My mom even went to an extent one time with me and my older sister when we got grounded and she got tired of us not listening she took everything out of mine and my sisters room besides our bed and outfits she picked out for that school week. We had to earn back everything by doing chores showing respect / change , good grades ect
To me it seems like she’s showing off so personally I’d fully ground her. No friends, no tv, no phone. Every disrespectful comment without an apology is an extension. That’s just me but she’s not mine and honestly, those punishments didn’t work for my son but, he didn’t have a ton of friends when he was in school because we moved a couple of times so there’s that 🤣
Congratulations Emma you are going to have a wonderful time at the concert 🎵 trust me you are going to love it have fun and be safe and happy