Overcoming Systems Feelings

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 136

  • @jerrywise
    @jerrywise  ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇
    Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027
    ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self

  • @LinYouToo
    @LinYouToo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    Blood is not thicker than abuse. Just like family isn’t just biological.

    • @lionheart4062
      @lionheart4062 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Absolutely! Love your comment!

    • @LinYouToo
      @LinYouToo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@lionheart4062 🙏

    • @christianimageco.3758
      @christianimageco.3758 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That one hit me right in my spirit 💯

    • @christinerobertson9596
      @christinerobertson9596 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      yes. took a long time to figure that out..

    • @dorijoe
      @dorijoe ปีที่แล้ว

      Well said!!

  • @raccuia1
    @raccuia1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    You cannot reason with a toxic individual. Just get rid of them, family or not.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yes, as long as they are toxic and not just problematic or neurotic

  • @jasonsavage2249
    @jasonsavage2249 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    To be able to give a response like that to the father in real time is the type of growth i want to achieve

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks for watching Jason
      Please join as a support member here on TH-cam for only 1.99/month. This will help keep the free videos coming. They are time consuming to make and take many hours. Thanks for your support of this channel.
      I have a workshop coming up February 6, 2021 Saturday 1-5pm EST hosted on Zoom GETTING YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN OUT OF YOU, please sign up. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/getting-your-family-of-origin-out-of-you-workshop

  • @hannibalspice
    @hannibalspice 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Once you see it, you can not unsee it. Then the reality of it all sinks in, and you are left with accepting your part in it all. When you get to that acceptance, after all the blame and shame, you're out of the system. Blessings to all!

  • @marianomanto
    @marianomanto 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I haven't seen my mother in more than a month, because every time I see her she brings out a topic I don't want to talk about, often about childhood, and tries to gaslight me. She senses the distance so she is trying to get close or have me come over to her house, which I reject with courtesy and trying to stay calm. I hope I can keep this up because I am starting to feel better about myself. A little sad about the whole thing though.

  • @yveqeshy
    @yveqeshy ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Systems feelings seek out our immaturity.... Embroider this in a t-shirt

  • @lrooney813
    @lrooney813 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Zoom out... I say ‘Look at the bigger picture’.
    Love this one Jerry. Thanks so much x

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Glad you enjoyed it

  • @angelanicholson951
    @angelanicholson951 3 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Thank you, Jerry. Happy Christmas! I grew up in such a system. A severe bullying system looking for a scapegoat to destroy every miserable day. They are heavilly locked into the system they created. I stepped quietly out of it. That was the first move, but making sense of it all followed when i found sites like yours explaining the system. The matrix, i call it.

    • @jessenoelle262
      @jessenoelle262 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      A couple days ago, a friend and I were talking about the abuse and neglect we experienced and the realizations and things we learn when we get into recovery and start to heal. She referred to it exactly the way you did: coming out of the matrix. It's a great analogy! Hope you are healing and finding you 🙂

    • @stewju82
      @stewju82 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jessenoelle262 q

  • @cosmickate4947
    @cosmickate4947 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Thank you Jerry you truly are the best.....save many lives from misery.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you kindly

  • @shade1014
    @shade1014 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Another gem to study 👏🏾✨

  • @zbyszeks3657
    @zbyszeks3657 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Brilliant. "What would you do if you don't have those feelings?" - Bingo! That's the question needed to ask.
    Maybe there're loops of negativity that feeds on us, through "system feelings". Trying to stay out of the system feelings, can be a way out of the negativity. It's good not only for us but probably for everyone else.

  • @beew915
    @beew915 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Moving away from my mother for the first time tomorrow (I'm 30) and the guilt is awful...she's almost begging me not to leave her alone. This is why I've never broken the cord . It's awful guilt

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sorry to hear you are struggling
      Maybe you should talk to someone
      Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my TH-cam channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my TH-cam channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information.
      Also,
      Please sign up for the upcoming workshop
      “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You”
      Workshop
      Date: February 6, Saturday
      Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST
      Zoom
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events
      [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

    • @jillwhiting919
      @jillwhiting919 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Get moving and keep moving on

    • @alicecoleman5532
      @alicecoleman5532 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Please seek help, you do not have to carry this alone.

    • @blinkyy1088
      @blinkyy1088 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Covert narcissism is making someone else feel like they are an abuser, or that they urgently need to help the narcissist, while pummeling them with psychological abuse in the process.

  • @corinneelizabeth3267
    @corinneelizabeth3267 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Your videos have been so helpful especially this time of year, thank you Jerry and Team! 🕊✨

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You are so welcome

  • @christianimageco.3758
    @christianimageco.3758 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Jerry, you are so generous and I pray that God will continue to bless you. Very rare to watch a channel that always references book(s) by other authors, especially, in this field. 🙌🏾👏🏾

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You are very welcome

  • @andreacangiamilla9615
    @andreacangiamilla9615 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have felt so alone in not knowing why I felt and did the things I did till I started watching your videos, your a angel thank you!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome

  • @williehaller5840
    @williehaller5840 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Just became a member! The Boen Family Systems Theory really helps us see the world in a new way!
    Thank you, Jerry!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you so much. Bowen Family Systems has been a real help to me.

  • @bethylightlove4054
    @bethylightlove4054 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This article is life changing!!!! Thank you!!!!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Please join as a support member here on TH-cam for only 1.99/month. This will help keep the free videos coming. They are time consuming to make and take many hours. Thanks for your support of this channel.
      I have a workshop coming up February 6, 2021 Saturday 1-5pm EST hosted on Zoom GETTING YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN OUT OF YOU, please sign up. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/getting-your-family-of-origin-out-of-you-workshop

  • @Ralph85Williams85
    @Ralph85Williams85 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I am going through this range of emotions right now... Very helpful video!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad it was helpful!

  • @karenmininni4962
    @karenmininni4962 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This video is so powerful I have no words. Jerry Wise is awesome.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much for the kind words Karen, I'm glad you found it powerful ❤️

  • @princesworld4559
    @princesworld4559 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Good afternoon, Mr. Jerry Wise. I appreciate your work in producing content for this channel. It's really helping me to overcome the programming and reactions instilled within me by my family. I've come a long way from how I was before and can only continue to move forward. Do not! And I mean DO NOT stop producing sharable content because it's really helping the masses. Thank you for all of your hard work.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm glad you find my work helpful, thanks for being part of the community 😊❤️

    • @princesworld4559
      @princesworld4559 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jerrywise No problem. And I'll be sure to pass your content onto those in need of it. Thank you again for your service to mankind.

  • @TheQueenRulesAll
    @TheQueenRulesAll 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I had to fill mum's role from 15yo and on. I was not allowed to have any needs or wants, and goodness knows no emotion about it was allowed. Almost died just giving to the family all my life and what did they do, abandoned me. This added to being told anything that went wrong was my fault, adhd kid here. Always ovwrwhelmed because I feel responsible for everything wrong in the whole world. I was made responsible for my world as a kid, and as my world grew, I did not realize I took it all on. Now I realize it intellectually but not emotionally yet. I am old but healing at any age is a good thing I think. I have healed well enough to find a partner who does want to be with me, does not put me down or blame me for everything that goes wrong.
    Thanks for the videos, showed up when I needed them.

  • @rochellecaffee1417
    @rochellecaffee1417 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Because of my experience of self-differentiation, i am comfortable with who i am, and name-calling is a sign of weakness, and insignificance to me. I will not continue to accept the abuse of J P. I thought he might have changed today, but not so.

  • @joannebutzerin6448
    @joannebutzerin6448 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Another response to Dad; I invited Mom to be a healthy relationship with me, but she refused.

  • @marekm9647
    @marekm9647 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Dziękujemy.

  • @dianaschramer5065
    @dianaschramer5065 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    In my experience, explaining myself only provided them more fodder for attack. I finally have gotten to not reacting or responding and going full no contact. It was a last resort and the only recourse I had left, as I tried everything else for years.

  • @mandolaa
    @mandolaa 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Ι really like the way you explain things and facts. Thank u🙏

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      So nice of you
      Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my TH-cam channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my TH-cam channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information.
      Also,
      I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021
      “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work
      It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom
      Sign up on website to get info on workshops
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop
      Sign up now for early bird price
      I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website:
      • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop
      • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop
      • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com

  • @salguzman802
    @salguzman802 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thanks best buddy jerry☺

  • @siat11
    @siat11 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you for this clarity. This is amazing advice!

  • @SP-ov1jh
    @SP-ov1jh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you so much for another extraordinary video! This is so so real. I’ve been trying to respond as if I didn’t have the feelings for some years now and it’s still a practice and a challenge sometimes.. baby steps, I guess..

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are so welcome!
      Please join as a support member here on TH-cam for only 1.99/month. This will help keep the free videos coming. They are time consuming to make and take many hours. Thanks for your support of this channel.
      I have a workshop coming up February 6, 2021 Saturday 1-5pm EST hosted on Zoom GETTING YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN OUT OF YOU, please sign up. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/getting-your-family-of-origin-out-of-you-workshop

  • @wendyfisher8609
    @wendyfisher8609 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is so helpful. Thank you

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad it was helpful!
      Please join as a support member here on TH-cam for only 1.99/month. This will help keep the free videos coming. They are time consuming to make and take many hours. Thanks for your support of this channel.
      I have a workshop coming up February 6, 2021 Saturday 1-5pm EST hosted on Zoom GETTING YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN OUT OF YOU, please sign up. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/getting-your-family-of-origin-out-of-you-workshop

  • @danielledejardin4778
    @danielledejardin4778 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Genius ! Fantastic responses to brother "Jack""! Hope I"ll be able to integrate these kinds of non-reactive responses!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have a workshop coming up February 6, 2021 Saturday 1-5pm EST hosted on Zoom GETTING YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN OUT OF YOU, please sign up. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/getting-your-family-of-origin-out-of-you-workshop

  • @sy5545
    @sy5545 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Well said ❤

  • @SpiritualTarotGoddess
    @SpiritualTarotGoddess 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you sooooo much

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're welcome!

  • @veronicalagor4771
    @veronicalagor4771 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love the thumbnail, made me smile c:

  • @SoulSeeker2025
    @SoulSeeker2025 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    System's Feelings:
    "Old Family Feelings" or "Mom and Dad feelings" of fear, guilt and shame" (their weapons of choice)

  • @stefanemanuelsson2201
    @stefanemanuelsson2201 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    A have seen many of your videos and most have something important to say to me. This even more so, because of the situation i am in right now. Thank you for doing this Jerry

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wonderful!

  • @epicpheonix3000
    @epicpheonix3000 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Off-topic but this thumbnail goes hard

  • @LisaSmith-yb2uz
    @LisaSmith-yb2uz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Very very helpful! (as always!!)

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome!
      Please join as a support member here on TH-cam for only 1.99/month. This will help keep the free videos coming. They are time consuming to make and take many hours. Thanks for your support of this channel.
      I have a workshop coming up February 6, 2021 Saturday 1-5pm EST hosted on Zoom GETTING YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN OUT OF YOU, please sign up. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/getting-your-family-of-origin-out-of-you-workshop

  • @tanyakashyap6944
    @tanyakashyap6944 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Jerry I'm ur fan 🎧🤩

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for watching.
      Any donation would help in making these videos.
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/donations

  • @LadySunflower-52
    @LadySunflower-52 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Jerry! For making this content understandable!!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My pleasure!

  • @shaanz2.087
    @shaanz2.087 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Excellent content ❤️❤️

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you 🙌
      Thank you for watching.
      Any donation would help in making these videos.
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/donations

  • @victoriajensen8484
    @victoriajensen8484 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks again Jerry 🙏🏼

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      My pleasure!

  • @sumina8653
    @sumina8653 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Jerry for gems of wisdom. Not able to join your workshop yet. It is difficult for the awareness first to kick in to put pay to the programming role and before the reactivity, or just the effects of that become apparent. Also, the role can last even if family are all gone. The role stays the same. It is just the players that change.
    I am wondering if it is more safe and simple just to become a recluse. No relationships, no problems.
    Greatly appreciate your insight and explanation of complex emotional dynamics. So help to see what is going on and this helps to "zoom out" from it. May kind Christmas cheer come your way.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are so welcome. Hope you can join a workshop sometime in the future. Happy Holidays Seeker!

  • @lambchop6278
    @lambchop6278 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The emotional manipulation (of the abusive brother, portraying his brother's wife as a "gold digger") reminds me of what the main character in the old movie "Marty" experiences from his "loved ones". 'Marty' is a brilliant film, starring Ernest Borgnine, that I think won an Oscar. But the story is of a middle aged not handsome man, who lives with his mother and hangs out with immature middle aged men. All his siblings are married, and Marty gets regularly shamed for still being single by his mother and customers at the butcher shop where he works. Then he meets a woman who is very quiet and considered unnattractive by men and they hit it off. ...But instead of his mother and his friends being happy for him, all of them attempt to manipulate him out of dating this woman. They make up all manner of lies so as to put Marty off from dating her. ...It's quite depressing to watch how all these people in his life, so called "loved ones" are all heartlessly focused on their own insecurities at the expense of Marty's happiness and well being. ...I won't say how the story ends, but it resonated with me just how utterly selfish and ultimately cruel people one is supposed to be loved by can all too casually be. ...Did I mention the word 'depressing'? Well, there it is again for good measure!

  • @marianomanto
    @marianomanto 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    God Jerry your covers are amazing 🤣 I love them

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad you like them! Thank you. I’ll tell Brenno Pecorca my web guy you like them…. He is on www.bpmarketingconsulting.com. reach out to him. Thanks Mariano
      “Standing Strong as an Adult Child of the Narcissist” Workshop
      Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC
      July 17th, 2021 Saturday, 1-5pm Eastern time On Zoom
      Topics:
       The Illusions of the Narcissist
       The Trauma of Adult Children of Narcissists
       Living in the War Zone
       7 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing
      Because You Were Raised by a Narcissist
       10 Ways Children of Narcissists Love Differently
       Healing Your Inner Parts and Inner Bonding
       Resisting Self-hate, Self-shaming, Self-rejection,
      Self-abandonment
       Cutting the Emotional Umbilical Cord: Going No
      Contact or Low Contact with Toxic Parents
       Superpowers All Adult Children of Narcissists
      Have
       And more...
      Lead by Jerry Wise Founder of Jerry Wise Relationship Systems and You-tubber of over 250 videos.
      Q& A
      Role Plays
      Volunteer participation
      You will receive the recorded workshop You will receive the notes for the workshop
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event s

  • @conniet444
    @conniet444 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks!

  • @carbenyos
    @carbenyos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Excellent! Clear explanation of systems feelings ! The examples of responses are very helpful! At 8:07-9:02 and 19:46-20:40

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Please join as a support member here on TH-cam for only 1.99/month. This will help keep the free videos coming. They are time consuming to make and take many hours. Thanks for your support of this channel.
      I have a workshop coming up February 6, 2021 Saturday 1-5pm EST hosted on Zoom GETTING YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN OUT OF YOU, please sign up. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/getting-your-family-of-origin-out-of-you-workshop
      Glad it was helpful!

    • @carbenyos
      @carbenyos 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jerrywise I am a support member for $4.99 a month with a different user name. I comment on both of them.

  • @eottoe2001
    @eottoe2001 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you. Very nice.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Most welcome!

  • @traorerene4554
    @traorerene4554 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dear Jerry thanks a lot for this video ❤ I'm learning a lot hear. I will try to have a look at the authors you mentioned. I would be happy if you have some particular book names. I wish you a nice day

  • @darinsmith2458
    @darinsmith2458 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    There is a lot with these videos. When I stopped reacting the reactors in my life did not want anything to do with me. It is interesting how you mentioned the mom being a narcissist and pushing away the son. My mom evicted me out of the family business rather than buying me out. The last time she called me and was talking about selling the business I asked if this pertains to me and she said no. I simply stated that she evicted me out of the business and it is not my problem anymore.
    I do want to say something on this. I don't really want to lose those painful feelings that came with all that dysfunction just because those feelings are keeping me out of toxic situations. Do you have any thoughts about that you would like to share?

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm not sure I understand the question

  • @eyeswideshut7354
    @eyeswideshut7354 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Lol that thumbnail has you looking like your dancing to some techno music! Lol

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I wish I could dance lol

    • @eyeswideshut7354
      @eyeswideshut7354 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jerrywise the photo makes me chuckle every time I see it.

  • @Silver-_-Crow
    @Silver-_-Crow 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You can not overcome the system feelings as long as you are IN the system

    • @こなた-m1o
      @こなた-m1o 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      do you mean physically or emotionally/mentally

    • @Silver-_-Crow
      @Silver-_-Crow 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@こなた-m1o All of them.

  • @hikingviking859
    @hikingviking859 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Jack has a problem with women and a history of failed relationships. He’s jealous of his brother. Merry Christmas, Jer. Hopefully 2021 is a better year.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for watching Ashley!
      Please join as a support member here on TH-cam for only 1.99/month. This will help keep the free videos coming. They are time consuming to make and take many hours. Thanks for your support of this channel.
      I have a workshop coming up February 6, 2021 Saturday 1-5pm EST hosted on Zoom GETTING YOUR FAMILY OF ORIGIN OUT OF YOU, please sign up. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/getting-your-family-of-origin-out-of-you-workshop

  • @SpiritualTarotGoddess
    @SpiritualTarotGoddess 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I want to join the next group meeting. Please record so we can purchase anytime.
    February is too far away.

  • @geviei
    @geviei 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you once again for all your videos! They are very helpful!
    I have one question, though: in this situation, would it be reactive if the son told his father that whatever happened was between him and his mother? Basically, couldn't he say that it's none of the father's business, but in a nicer way?
    I am asking you this because in my family it's very common for my parents to try to interfere in my relationship with my sisters and I find it very invasive.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      If the family is enmeshed he will not understand that it is 'none of his business" But you can say "I really think that this is between Mom and me" or 'Dad, it sounds like something Mom should be asking me"

    • @geviei
      @geviei 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jerrywise Thank you for responding! :)

  • @MusicKyirim
    @MusicKyirim 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    🔥🔥🔥

  • @kareemmohammed5270
    @kareemmohammed5270 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    resonate

  • @nicolero8130
    @nicolero8130 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Blood truly isn't that thick

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Right!
      Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my TH-cam channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my TH-cam channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information.
      Also,
      Please sign up for the upcoming workshop
      “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You”
      Workshop
      Date: February 6, Saturday
      Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST
      Zoom
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events
      [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

  • @nannaarc
    @nannaarc 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I thoght I healed. But I am back.

  • @marieschmidt9416
    @marieschmidt9416 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I like what you say and so appreciate your videos. Please take this in a kind, helpful way when I say that sometimes you get too emotional & defensive in the videos. This defensiveness when you talk about scenarios turns me off and I want to say quit explaining so much, you give
    your answer and let that be it.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks Marie for the feedback. I know that some people find the extended examples very helpful, and also I like giving the examples they help me explain these complex ideas in more accessible ways. I hope you can continue tolerating them, also skipping them is an option. Appreciate you ❤️

  • @chaigasho775
    @chaigasho775 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'd would enjoy these talks more if adverts didn't keep interupting ever 3-4 minutes. I undetstand monetizing a site but really this is a little over the top! I'm sure you won't take this personally of course!

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I understand
      Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my TH-cam channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my TH-cam channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information.
      Also,
      Please sign up for the upcoming workshop
      “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You”
      Workshop
      Date: February 6, Saturday
      Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST
      Zoom
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events
      [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I do understand I adjusted the video
      I don't take your comment personally
      Thanks for watching

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can also join TH-cam Premium and then there are no ads on TH-cam videos

  • @sashabagdasarow497
    @sashabagdasarow497 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good one.
    But I have one question. About being called oversensitive.
    Even if that's a system feeling trigger, I can imagine that most people would start defending themselves in this case, even without abuse.
    Or if a person is called dumb, even if it doesn't trigger, people still want to protect themselves against that. As if, if they don't say anything, they agree.

  • @rokn35
    @rokn35 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for your help..
    I tried to donate through PayPal but it is not working ..
    Is there is another way to donate ?

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pay pal to jwlearning@hotmail.com or write to me and I will give you cash app address or where you can mail a check... thank you so much for your consideration Also there is a donation button on the website www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com

  • @derosa195
    @derosa195 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    No engagement😊

  • @derosa195
    @derosa195 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Name calling

  • @sashabagdasarow497
    @sashabagdasarow497 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Also, why would you even keep contact with a father liike that?
    If he gaslights, offends, why would you keep it?
    It's a good reaction to try and not take offence, and act like they werent trying to call you a bad name. But is it real?
    I feel like if a person feels guilt and shame, then those emotions are valid, they need to be worked. I feel like jumping over to correction isn't a good idea.

  • @rochellecaffee1417
    @rochellecaffee1417 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dear Craig, are you Catholic? I don’t do Catholicism, Mormonism or anything else but Christian Protestantism, especially Reformed Theology. I’m sorry if this boundary is not within your expectations. Please make it clear to me. Thanks.😊

  • @AgarioSplitrunner
    @AgarioSplitrunner 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    19:10: caught off, give in, attack, triangle
    Question: what is 'triangle'?

    • @LilBrownieD
      @LilBrownieD 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      triangulation, involve another person in the drama instead of dealing with it one on one

  • @10pinksapphire
    @10pinksapphire 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    could not find the youtube $1.99 membership to join.

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      There should be a "JOIN" button next to subscribe button on my front page of my channel. You may want to use a difference device, e.g. if using phone, use a desktop etc.
      Sometimes all functions are not on all mobile apps, etc.
      I wish I could make You tube make it easier.
      Many people have joined before, so I know it does work
      Talk with a IT or tech friend JZ
      Thank you for trying
      “Standing Strong as an Adult Child of the Narcissist”
      Workshop
      A great workshop for ACOA’s, ACON’s, and any of you who come from dysfunctional families!
      Workshop leader: Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC LIVE
      July 17th, 2021 Saturday, 1-5pm Eastern time
      On Zoom
      Topics:
      The Illusions of the Narcissist
      The Trauma of Adult Children of Narcissists
      Living in the War Zone
      7 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Were Raised by a Narcissist
      10 Ways Children of Narcissists Love Differently
      Healing Your Inner Parts and Inner Bonding
      Resisting Self-hate, Self-shaming, Self-rejection, Self-abandonment
      Cutting the Emotional Umbilical Cord: Going No Contact or Low Contact with Toxic Parents
      Superpowers All Adult Children of Narcissists Have
      And more…
      Lead by Jerry Wise Founder of Jerry Wise Relationship Systems and You-tubber of over 250 videos.
      Q & A
      Role Plays
      Volunteer participation
      You will receive the recorded workshop
      You will receive the notes for the workshop
      Scholarships are available write to Jerry Wise at
      jerrywise5@gmail.com
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events

  • @rochellecaffee1417
    @rochellecaffee1417 ปีที่แล้ว

    I hope you realize you are speaking to a woman. I am not married to Jack. In fact i am not married, at all. Also, i am not trans, or lesbian. I’m pretty sure that i am going to walk away from relationships that are continuously disrespectful.😊

  • @SpiritualTarotGoddess
    @SpiritualTarotGoddess 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I sent you email

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I will look for it Jerry

  • @jhammond2237
    @jhammond2237 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    These videos just keep getting better and better! Thx 🙌🙌🙌🙌

    • @jerrywise
      @jerrywise  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad you like them!
      Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my TH-cam channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my TH-cam channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information.
      Also,
      Please sign up for the upcoming workshop
      “Getting Your Family of Origin Out of You”
      Workshop
      Date: February 6, Saturday
      Time: 1pm EST - 5pm EST
      Zoom
      www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events
      [Even if you are not able to attend, if you sign up for this workshop, I will send you your own copy of the full workshop and the workshop notes]