Hey, I don’t want to give all these STUDIED signals to a first & potential second date. Things really can unfold slow and they should most of the time. Teasing someone and making sexy subtexts when I don’t even know what that person is made of? Not after just 1 date. Don’t want to lead on hidden creeps. Just be yourself. Every single time.
Here after a nice dinner and attempted sex; but, he got a couple cramps and fell into the bed. So, I gave him a back massage and we flirt over texts now. Is that good or bad?
About a month ago I set a first date with an extremely attractive woman I had met online. I could tell her interest was relatively high by her excitement about me asking her out. We drive separate to meet at a lounge. Our eyes locked as we were walking toward each other and our first kiss happened 4 seconds into the date. We’re going strong currently, albeit very early. If you never experienced that level of chemistry before I hope you do : ).
I love when a person is just straightforward with no emojis lol that's why I fell in love with my partner. He's polite but very straightforward so I knew what I getting. That's much sexier than playing flirty games.
I think we can be straightforward and honest while we flirt 🤷🏼♀️. We are talking about chemistry, enjoying the eye contact, etc.. not lying or pretending we are someone else. 😂
I don’t like being touched on a first date. As a matter fact come to think of it the only time I ever want to touch or be touched by someone is if I actually genuinely feel a chemistry between us or a type of comfort. I think it really applies all towards whether we have compatible love languages
I think that’s why he said men to be careful with touch. if you want to enhance the chemistry that you already feel by adding touch, if you aren’t interested then do all the platonic things he said
Great video! I especially love that there is no background music while you’re talking. I can focus on what you are saying this way(shout out to my adhd people that feel the same lol). You have a great editor ! 🤘😊
I ended up meeting someone new this week. He and I just spent time at Barnes and noble and then got Chipotle. Don’t know if you know Barnes and noble or Chipotle. From there, we spent the rest of the time hanging out at his place watching fantastic beasts, some anime and one other cartoon. The night before he and I talked on the phone for 5 hrs. There were points where I’d hear fireworks go off and I’d get startled and he’d tell me it’s ok and then caress either my leg or my arm which was really sweet. He told me to text him when I got home on Tuesday and I did but he didn’t reply. I haven’t heard from him in a few days now but it’s okay. I’m just going to do me.
The comments are wild on this one. At anyone who wirtes about "natural" things and "the past...": we dont live in the past and social media and digital communication exists. Its no shame to get guided through that new way of communication; you didnt learn to speak by sitting in silence either...
I went on 2 dates with a guy. I am very interested in him all green flags. He’s really shy. We have a lot in common. On our second date, he kissed me but I just was not ready. I’m uncomfortable when I have only known this person for 2 hours. I am also not a touchy person it’s so uncomfortable for me especially growing up with my dad who never hugged me or showed affection in that way. So, online dating is really hard for me because even though I think I show interest it might be a signal that I am not. Anyway this guy and I had some texts after I said I had fun and if he wants to go hiking etc let me know. But I haven’t heard from him in a few days. In addition, I had to initiate the second date. Maybe online dating is not cut out for me because I have not had any successful dates from that. But I never get asked out in real life either. And many of my married guy friends tell me I’m a dime doll. Maybe just not my time yet 🤷♀️
I really resonate with u and share similar experience
ปีที่แล้ว +63
I appreciate these kinds of videos and I think they help people BUT I don't like that they accidentaly support the idea that people can control somebody else's level of attraction or commitment. Yes, you can influence them at some level but you can't really make them want to necessarily end up with you. We can always improve to do our best when dating but we need to let ourselves off the hook a little and understand people have their own free will to not chose us.
I so love your post and agree with it. You can be your best self and still things won't click for him. I'm 65 and things haven't changed much regarding the way a lot of men are and think. Some are desperate and that's a huge turn off. And I think enough of myself that I won't settle and just accept any man who is interested. I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong man and feel alone with him. Been there done that.......
@@PossumLover1111 why are you still searching for a man then? You are 65 and the man you think you deserve prolly is already in a relationship or pulled out. You need to either settle or learn to live alone
@@-SimonRiley The hope doesn't die out to find a good man. It's not a need but a want. I can't have everything I want but sometimes it happens and then I am very appreciative. I believe I'm still worthy of love and not dead on the vine yet. The search is fun and yet if I don't find one that is worthy of me (as I hope to be of him too) then so be it. I'm just not ready to give up yet. 65 is not ancient nor having a foot in the grave. I'm pretty active and young at heart.
Lol according to this video I'm doomed to fail on dates. 🤣 For some reason, I literally jump out of my chair when people touch me, especially if I didn't see it coming. Growing up my parents never even smiled at each other, and none of us every hugged one another. I guess it's partially cultural. I only hug people out of social nicety (have been getting better at it) but being touched still generally makes me feel squirmy. I guess I would need to trust him as a person first. If it's the first time I'm meeting him, I would feel weird being touched no matter how attractive he is. Chemistry happens mostly through eye contact and conversation for me.
Pretty sad how I thought my date went well on Saturday night because we both did all these things. Kissed and talked the whole night. Talked about everything and got to know each other even more. I even got sweet good morning text the next day. But than that Monday he told me we couldn’t talk anymore and that we had to go our own ways. Now I’m left confused.
That is toxic behavior unless you did something to make him run. If not. I would say that it is very impulsive and a narcissistic trait, that i would never waste my time on. To say that the very next day Monday, that you cant talk anymore is some kind of wierd shit. He could have had another girl in the background and that to me shows a lack of respect if you made out. Are you sure he is not married or something. I would consider that like dodging a bullet
NEVER MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU, ultimately they’ll leave if they’re not the one. You can have chemistry but nothing in common. Has to be balanced🤦🏽♀️yall doing to much nowadays 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄gzzz
Chemistry is a must, otherwise it is just a friendship. But of course a relationship is based on a good conection, common values, .. but THIS concrete video was about the chemistry part, that people usually forget.
I agree, I’m guilty of strategizing in the past, but now I use these videos as a way to work on enhancing my femininity and highlighting my personality with men since I’ve always felt too nervous to be vulnerable. I think it’s all about the mindset you have when listening to this advice, not the message itself. I think he has great points, however, some people use it, like you said, as a way to force something, and that’s never a good idea lol
Hey, love your contents!! Please help, who should be asking for the second date? First date was being asked by the guy. Can a girl ask for the second date, it wont look desperate?
I had a date tonight with someone we’ve hit it off, we didn’t stop talking he held my hand, we kissed it was really good, he said I was better in person, asked to see me again after the kiss I get home he tells me by message that after the kiss he didn’t feel the connection…now we spent more time talking after the kiss and he was being very attentive..so I’m stumped
If there is chemistry there is chemistry, if there isnt ,then the guy simply isn't for me. Or a women. We are not compatible with everyone and not everyone is compatible with us. Body knows.
I'm from South Africa met this guy from the US we both in work in Kuwait we text we had our 1st date we had a good chemistry but our work schedule clutches n he's been out of the relationship for a year n move to Kuwait but I feel likely I have to text him so he starts communicating with me he responds to every text n look forward to spend time with me besides our work schedule I feel like I'm the one approaching him after our first so I don't know if I'm too available as woman or he's shy I'm a little bit confused here...I'm asking for help not to only only Matthew but to everybody that subscribed to this channel ❤❤
Guys i need help ...my ex still watching my stories and sometimes he like my stories...one day i said happy birthday to a friend and i tagged that friend and my ex liked my story and he said " i hope you're happy nd i wish he is a good man " i saw he's text message but i didn't respond "3 days ago" ...
I need some help with putting the breaks on as guys really push to be intimate too fast. This stops me from feeling relaxed and having fun during a first date😢
These hilarious comments talking about not putting in effort, and then wondering why they cant get a guy, and instead of taking personal responsibility and learning they crawl back here to complain. Thanks for leaving the good ones for the rest of us
Whole point of this video…. If you don’t carry confidence you cannot connect with others romantically This is because if you don’t value yourself how will anyone
Hi Matthew, I need some dating advice... I'm a college student and I met this new guy this semester. I thought he was cute and kind so I asked him out to go on a date with me. He said yes but he also said that he wanted to let me know since the beginning that he did not like me in that way yet. He took me on the date and I really felt that our conversations were really good and we had a lot of things in common. I think that he also enjoyed a lot because he was usually shy but in the date he talked to me about some many things about him and he asked me so many questions and he really looked like he wanted to get to know me better. I felt that the date went really good, and I thought that we probably would have a second one. We texted a bit the few days after the date but he haven't asked me out or let me know if he enjoyed the date as well and I feel afraid to bring it up since I don't want to come off as pushy and desperate. I need to know if it is ok that I ask him about again, should I ask him if he enjoy our date and want to go out again or should I just wait for him to bring it up and ask me out again?
I'm no Matthew, but I wouldn't ask him on a second date. You already initiated the first and now it's his turn. If he likes you he will ask you. He already told you he didn't see you in a certain light, so chasing a guy like that is most probably gonna bring heartbreak. Sometimes it's okay to take the L and move on. I've barely had good responses when I chase men when they're not interested. They respond out of politeness, boredom or an ego boost.
Last week I went on a first date with a guy. Usually I always dress up very well but this time I showed up in a suit (I know ...). We were at dinner and I could see that he would occasionally try to look at my body but he literally couldn't see anything 😂 We had a good time talking but I could see that he didn't have much transport towards me..at the end of dinner he paid the bill and said:" I'll walk you to the metro ok?" While we were walking I told him that I was going to go dancing in a club (it was true)..and his answer was: 'ah but so you show up in pajamas only with me?" I was taken aback, because there wasn't that connection to make those jokes, but I answered: 'yes darling, you have to deserve it so that I can dress well... and then think, I'm already pretty like this, imagine in another way'. I don't know what happened at that moment but after 2 seconds we kissed passionately....he asked me to go to his house and I said no. Then he walked me to the next metro stop and we kissed again on the way. When we got to the stop he told me: if you like we can meet again when I get back. And I said yes, that I would choose the place (I don't know if I was wrong). He left for a conference the next day and 3 days later I wrote him something ironic ..and he replied after several hours and the conversation went on one or 2 messages. I think I made a mistake that my second message was too long ( I had told him an anecdote that happened to me and he replied and I consequently made up for it by just replying : yep :) .) And the conversation ended like that. Given this, is there any chance he'll write to me when he gets back?
I'm a guy. What's the proper etiquette after a first date if I don't want to see her again? 1. Politely and respectfully know you didn't feel any attraction and wish her the best. 2. Just don't message at all. 3. Something else?
OMG..what a bunch of BS Crap..let things just unfold naturally and allow the chemistry to just flow...you will be drawn to one another if it is meant to move forward....Not really Rocket Science and if your lucky it will last a lifetime....Just take a leap of faith if you feel it deep in your soul and when you look into each others eye"s...❤🙏👍
I would say it's good advice for awkward and nervous people like I used to be. When you get more confident it does become natural though, but I wouldn't say that everyone knows how to naturally flirt from the get go. :)
I did all of these things last year I went on a date with two guys (separately!) I met on a dating app. They gave me the same signals. Outcome: The first guy eventually ghosted me, the second guy basically got "buyer's remorse" after a few days, as he said he's not ready to start seeing someone again after all (who knows if that's true though). Fact is, you can do all the things Matthew describes in the video if you feel attracted to the person you're on a date with, however there is no guarantee that they will bag you a second date.
We had a great first date, chatted endlessy and were very present with each other. We definitely had great chemistry and were attracted to each other and kissed for an hour straight at the end. I left because I felt overwhelmed, said thank you for the great evening. Never heard of him since. Can't figure out what went wrong or if he just wanted to hook up and his plan didn't work. But that wasn't my impression.
I know girl, such a strong feeling and deception. They don't like you and hurts ego. In our minds simply we can't believe someone we had such a great time could pass like nothing happened. Rejection is redirection, these people are making us a favour by leaving, they were not for us and things are happening the way they should. Universe is saying no, hear it, accept it, surrender
They're self-sabbotaging and looking if things go actually wrong behind their pink glasses? Or they know things are going bad, but they feel the need to tell everyone everything is peachy, so they can believe it themselves... Which is sad.
I will argue with that. Chemistry is not always the right thing to look for. If you always have been attached to people where there was chemistry between you two, but he/she turned out to be bad for you, then I wouldn't go out looking for chemistry.
Chemistry is basically sexual tension which is terribly overrated. It used to be a case when man and woman, despite not having a great chemistry nor have any physical touches, will carry on seeing each other if they enjoy each other's presence even in a platonic way and then feelings and sexual chemistry develops naturally (especially true for women!). However, due to all the sexual experiences people have had in the past, many men and women nowadays will simply pass on a person who could potentially be a great partner simply because there is no chemistry in the first few dates. People forget that many great relationships develop from good solid friendships and many bad, toxic relationships will often start from 'great' chemistry....
What if he said that was nice, we should do this again! We hugged. We exchanged numbers and he followed up again when I got home saying lets do it again and let’s chat soon. I said sounds great…now it’s been a week. So I texted to ask how his week was going and he said “Hey! good, been staying busy. How’s yours” and when I replied…nothing back Should I just assume he’s not interested or should I ask if he’s free on this day and set it up. I was trying to be more in my feminine, receiving energy and wanted to be the one to be pursued but have dating “rules” changed?
It sounds to me like you dropped plenty of hints to him that you’d love to go out again. If he wanted to, he would have. At least, that’s always been my philosophy. :/
It's not a lot of effort , specially when you aren't thinking of doing it anymore.Plus those are things that help communicate your interest if you have trouble with that.Not everyone needs to do those in a conscious way,even tho everyone can probably improve that skill.
@@micilovesami I'm pretty good with social situations, but I had women expect perfection on the first date. They seem to forget that I'm also human and might have a little anxiety on a first date.
Just had a first date, thought it went so well….He text he doesn’t want to see me again 🤦♀️. Just realising I missed EVERY ONE OF MATTHEWS TIPS ffs 😂. Next time eh, next time.
This is ok if you are just looking for someone short term. Initial chemistry is lust…….and initial chemistry is not a foundation for a long term relationship. Unless that’s not what you want.
Yeah, it is to get you a second date like he said, nothing more than that really. I would say the Gottmans have really good research on what actually keeps a relationship healthy. :)
I agree with you @Tom Drummy Chemistry is not going to help you through those curve balls life throws at you.... trust, loyalty and commitment does..especially during the ugly times... love is a verb - an act of service...feelings come and go... the whole idea of falling into love is a misnomer... you grow to love a person... this perpetual "falling in and out of love" and jumping from one relationship or date to the next... is not really good for anyone
So true. I was in a relationship with a guy with whom the chemistry was great like few people could have nowadays. I mean we could even understand each other simply by looking at each other's eyes or even touching each other. But that was not apparently enough because we had different visions about the future. Despite we tried so many times imposing and exposing our visions to each other aiming at convincing one another that our vision was the "best", this situation afterwards led to many conflicts and even if we could not be apart, guess what, he first asked for ending things. So i'd say, first creteria: common vision, values, second: chemistry.
Of course not!! Chemistry is a must for a long happy relationship (otherwise it is just a friendship). But for sure a relationship is also based on a good conection, great conversations.. I think Matthew have said it clear many times! This video was just about the chemistry part.
Better yet how about people skip just don’t say that they had a good time and just say I’m not interested. Society needs to teach people to be upfront and just say the truth and mislead people. I I’d rather have my feeling hurt and know the truth than be oblivious to something.
@@spirals7354 I honestly do not think you should give up a wise friend told me it is better to have a few lifelong friends and be joyous with then look for someone who cannot see how amazing you are
Hi Matthew, awesome video! I had my second date with a guy I met on Hinge about five days ago, and it went really well. We had a great time, and he seemed to like my plans and even winked at me during dinner. He's super sweet and nice. However, he hasn't messaged me at all since the date. I'm thinking of waiting for him to make the next move. He's leaving for the Navy at the end of next month, so I'm not sure what to do now. I'm interested in pursuing a relationship or meeting up a few more times. Any advice on how to proceed?
Honestly I feel like dating is a completely different beast these days. All of these tips would have guaranteed multiple dates with someone. Now it seems like everyone is looking for the next, perfectly curated thing. The social media version of the person, not the real version.
Hey, I don’t want to give all these STUDIED signals to a first & potential second date. Things really can unfold slow and they should most of the time. Teasing someone and making sexy subtexts when I don’t even know what that person is made of? Not after just 1 date. Don’t want to lead on hidden creeps. Just be yourself. Every single time.
Agree 100%. When it's bound to happen it will happen, and it can start with a very platonic conversation
Who’s here after a first date? 🙋♀️
😂
I dont even know if it was a date 😭
Here after 5 hour long date
Here after a nice dinner and attempted sex; but, he got a couple cramps and fell into the bed. So, I gave him a back massage and we flirt over texts now.
Is that good or bad?
Yup hahahahaha
About a month ago I set a first date with an extremely attractive woman I had met online. I could tell her interest was relatively high by her excitement about me asking her out. We drive separate to meet at a lounge. Our eyes locked as we were walking toward each other and our first kiss happened 4 seconds into the date. We’re going strong currently, albeit very early. If you never experienced that level of chemistry before I hope you do : ).
“We’re NOT gonna be friends” 😉💋😏 Thanks for the laughs and great advice on dating and relationships. So grateful I recently found your channel!
I love when a person is just straightforward with no emojis lol that's why I fell in love with my partner. He's polite but very straightforward so I knew what I getting. That's much sexier than playing flirty games.
I think we can be straightforward and honest while we flirt 🤷🏼♀️. We are talking about chemistry, enjoying the eye contact, etc.. not lying or pretending we are someone else. 😂
Straightforward you mean- I like avarage woman and so I like you?
I don’t like being touched on a first date. As a matter fact come to think of it the only time I ever want to touch or be touched by someone is if I actually genuinely feel a chemistry between us or a type of comfort. I think it really applies all towards whether we have compatible love languages
So you don't want to be touched but you also want to be touched if you have chemistry?
Agreed. Especially if you happen to be neurodivergent. But then if no chemistry is happening, probably not looking for a second date anyway :)
@@cinrowar I feel like the point was touching is cool and possibly instigated if chemistry is felt. Otherwise, probably no touching.
I think that’s why he said men to be careful with touch. if you want to enhance the chemistry that you already feel by adding touch, if you aren’t interested then do all the platonic things he said
So when you greet someone for a first date, you don't even hug or a kiss on the cheek as an introduction? That would be a red flag for me as a guy
Looking back on the first date with my now husband, I've realized that I did everything wrong 🤣🤣
Love this comment ❤
Its lovely that it still worked out. I was worried about my date after watching this and your comment made me smile
How it went to the other dates then??
I want this ending ❤ thanks
Comforting 😆
Great video! I especially love that there is no background music while you’re talking. I can focus on what you are saying this way(shout out to my adhd people that feel the same lol). You have a great editor ! 🤘😊
I ended up meeting someone new this week. He and I just spent time at Barnes and noble and then got Chipotle. Don’t know if you know Barnes and noble or Chipotle. From there, we spent the rest of the time hanging out at his place watching fantastic beasts, some anime and one other cartoon. The night before he and I talked on the phone for 5 hrs. There were points where I’d hear fireworks go off and I’d get startled and he’d tell me it’s ok and then caress either my leg or my arm which was really sweet. He told me to text him when I got home on Tuesday and I did but he didn’t reply. I haven’t heard from him in a few days now but it’s okay. I’m just going to do me.
See this is where I simply don’t understand what happened….
The comments are wild on this one. At anyone who wirtes about "natural" things and "the past...": we dont live in the past and social media and digital communication exists. Its no shame to get guided through that new way of communication; you didnt learn to speak by sitting in silence either...
I appreciate this comment.
"speak to you soon" 😄 cute !
THE HULA HOOP CLIP. LMAO. ROFL. LOL. LOVE IT hahahaha
I went on 2 dates with a guy. I am very interested in him all green flags. He’s really shy. We have a lot in common. On our second date, he kissed me but I just was not ready. I’m uncomfortable when I have only known this person for 2 hours. I am also not a touchy person it’s so uncomfortable for me especially growing up with my dad who never hugged me or showed affection in that way. So, online dating is really hard for me because even though I think I show interest it might be a signal that I am not. Anyway this guy and I had some texts after I said I had fun and if he wants to go hiking etc let me know. But I haven’t heard from him in a few days. In addition, I had to initiate the second date.
Maybe online dating is not cut out for me because I have not had any successful dates from that. But I never get asked out in real life either. And many of my married guy friends tell me I’m a dime doll. Maybe just not my time yet 🤷♀️
I really resonate with u and share similar experience
I appreciate these kinds of videos and I think they help people BUT I don't like that they accidentaly support the idea that people can control somebody else's level of attraction or commitment. Yes, you can influence them at some level but you can't really make them want to necessarily end up with you. We can always improve to do our best when dating but we need to let ourselves off the hook a little and understand people have their own free will to not chose us.
This is true on so many levels!
I so love your post and agree with it. You can be your best self and still things won't click for him. I'm 65 and things haven't changed much regarding the way a lot of men are and think. Some are desperate and that's a huge turn off. And I think enough of myself that I won't settle and just accept any man who is interested. I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong man and feel alone with him. Been there done that.......
Katılıyorum
@@PossumLover1111 why are you still searching for a man then? You are 65 and the man you think you deserve prolly is already in a relationship or pulled out. You need to either settle or learn to live alone
@@-SimonRiley The hope doesn't die out to find a good man. It's not a need but a want. I can't have everything I want but sometimes it happens and then I am very appreciative. I believe I'm still worthy of love and not dead on the vine yet. The search is fun and yet if I don't find one that is worthy of me (as I hope to be of him too) then so be it. I'm just not ready to give up yet. 65 is not ancient nor having a foot in the grave. I'm pretty active and young at heart.
Lol according to this video I'm doomed to fail on dates. 🤣 For some reason, I literally jump out of my chair when people touch me, especially if I didn't see it coming. Growing up my parents never even smiled at each other, and none of us every hugged one another. I guess it's partially cultural. I only hug people out of social nicety (have been getting better at it) but being touched still generally makes me feel squirmy. I guess I would need to trust him as a person first. If it's the first time I'm meeting him, I would feel weird being touched no matter how attractive he is. Chemistry happens mostly through eye contact and conversation for me.
This video is GOLD!! And so funny 😂😂. Thank you Matthew😂🤍🙌
OMG that dance 😂
Pretty sad how I thought my date went well on Saturday night because we both did all these things. Kissed and talked the whole night. Talked about everything and got to know each other even more. I even got sweet good morning text the next day. But than that Monday he told me we couldn’t talk anymore and that we had to go our own ways. Now I’m left confused.
That is toxic behavior unless you did something to make him run. If not. I would say that it is very impulsive and a narcissistic trait, that i would never waste my time on. To say that the very next day Monday, that you cant talk anymore is some kind of wierd shit. He could have had another girl in the background and that to me shows a lack of respect if you made out. Are you sure he is not married or something. I would consider that like dodging a bullet
He’s women caught him messaging another woman
NEVER MAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU, ultimately they’ll leave if they’re not the one. You can have chemistry but nothing in common. Has to be balanced🤦🏽♀️yall doing to much nowadays 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄gzzz
Exactly
Chemistry is a must, otherwise it is just a friendship. But of course a relationship is based on a good conection, common values, .. but THIS concrete video was about the chemistry part, that people usually forget.
I agree, I’m guilty of strategizing in the past, but now I use these videos as a way to work on enhancing my femininity and highlighting my personality with men since I’ve always felt too nervous to be vulnerable. I think it’s all about the mindset you have when listening to this advice, not the message itself. I think he has great points, however, some people use it, like you said, as a way to force something, and that’s never a good idea lol
Where have you been 😭 with this video... I just missed all those things on my first date...
Hey, love your contents!!
Please help, who should be asking for the second date? First date was being asked by the guy. Can a girl ask for the second date, it wont look desperate?
I had a date tonight with someone we’ve hit it off, we didn’t stop talking he held my hand, we kissed it was really good, he said I was better in person, asked to see me again after the kiss I get home he tells me by message that after the kiss he didn’t feel the connection…now we spent more time talking after the kiss and he was being very attentive..so I’m stumped
Take it from a guy that has no dog in the fight (no offense, Matthew); he wasn't that into you.
Thank u so much for your precious advice ❤️
2:43 🤣 the hula hoop on the bed 🕺🏻 🛏
I just never want a second date with the men I meet. There's nothing wrong with them, they're just nothing like the men I'm actually attracted to.
I’m about to go on a group thing and this gave me so many tips, thank you!
I would love more videos about early eaaaaarly stages - before the first date..
Loved this lesson. Thanks a lot.
2:43 lmaoooooo 🙏🏻
Matthew you’re awesome! Right on !
As a woman I don’t like to have any small/tiny touch with people who I first met…Maybe it’s just me
05.12- oh look, it's me :D
Held hands & pashed on the first date …still together
Chemistry is everything 🔥
How do you know you have chemistry with someone? Since you experienced it?
These texts are the reason I have a boyfriend 😂 of course I added my own spicy to them.
I love pumpkin spice lattes! 😋
If there is chemistry there is chemistry, if there isnt ,then the guy simply isn't for me. Or a women. We are not compatible with everyone and not everyone is compatible with us. Body knows.
Woody Allen said "The heart wants what the heart wants."
Is this so clear immediately though? Might need a few dates to see how much chemistry you actually have. Not always so clear initially.
matthew, why are u very handsme?
Reminds me of Chandler on friends…
I love this guy! ❤️😍🔥😂
Yes
I need more videos with this topic 😄
Matthew you Brother I just submitted yoy amaizing that's what I needed to hear from the guy's point of view...
I'm from South Africa met this guy from the US we both in work in Kuwait we text we had our 1st date we had a good chemistry but our work schedule clutches n he's been out of the relationship for a year n move to Kuwait but I feel likely I have to text him so he starts communicating with me he responds to every text n look forward to spend time with me besides our work schedule I feel like I'm the one approaching him after our first so I don't know if I'm too available as woman or he's shy I'm a little bit confused here...I'm asking for help not to only only Matthew but to everybody that subscribed to this channel ❤❤
Matthew, I didn't want to be your friend either when you said that
Guys i need help ...my ex still watching my stories and sometimes he like my stories...one day i said happy birthday to a friend and i tagged that friend and my ex liked my story and he said " i hope you're happy nd i wish he is a good man " i saw he's text message but i didn't respond "3 days ago" ...
"Otherwise it just looks like I'm humpin' the air." If I had a nickel...
Touching in the first date is bad taste, ITS JUST THE FIRST DATE !!!!!!
Have class !!
I need some help with putting the breaks on as guys really push to be intimate too fast. This stops me from feeling relaxed and having fun during a first date😢
We’re not gonna be friends hahahaha 😂😂
Okayy.. I did everything wrong, but who cares? 😂
These hilarious comments talking about not putting in effort, and then wondering why they cant get a guy, and instead of taking personal responsibility and learning they crawl back here to complain. Thanks for leaving the good ones for the rest of us
Whole point of this video…. If you don’t carry confidence you cannot connect with others romantically This is because if you don’t value yourself how will anyone
Maybe he did have a good time but not good enough to meet again ;)
I made so many mistakes today 😅
Darn I don't have a blushing emoji on my phone...
Hi Matthew, I need some dating advice... I'm a college student and I met this new guy this semester. I thought he was cute and kind so I asked him out to go on a date with me. He said yes but he also said that he wanted to let me know since the beginning that he did not like me in that way yet. He took me on the date and I really felt that our conversations were really good and we had a lot of things in common. I think that he also enjoyed a lot because he was usually shy but in the date he talked to me about some many things about him and he asked me so many questions and he really looked like he wanted to get to know me better. I felt that the date went really good, and I thought that we probably would have a second one. We texted a bit the few days after the date but he haven't asked me out or let me know if he enjoyed the date as well and I feel afraid to bring it up since I don't want to come off as pushy and desperate. I need to know if it is ok that I ask him about again, should I ask him if he enjoy our date and want to go out again or should I just wait for him to bring it up and ask me out again?
I'm no Matthew, but I wouldn't ask him on a second date. You already initiated the first and now it's his turn. If he likes you he will ask you. He already told you he didn't see you in a certain light, so chasing a guy like that is most probably gonna bring heartbreak. Sometimes it's okay to take the L and move on. I've barely had good responses when I chase men when they're not interested. They respond out of politeness, boredom or an ego boost.
100%
Maybe the other person should say enough of a good time to do it again 🤔💭 hmmmmm will I be seeing you again
This is all great but this would look like scripted to others 😅
Last week I went on a first date with a guy. Usually I always dress up very well but this time I showed up in a suit (I know ...).
We were at dinner and I could see that he would occasionally try to look at my body but he literally couldn't see anything 😂
We had a good time talking but I could see that he didn't have much transport towards me..at the end of dinner he paid the bill and said:" I'll walk you to the metro ok?"
While we were walking I told him that I was going to go dancing in a club (it was true)..and his answer was: 'ah but so you show up in pajamas only with me?"
I was taken aback, because there wasn't that connection to make those jokes, but I answered: 'yes darling, you have to deserve it so that I can dress well... and then think, I'm already pretty like this, imagine in another way'.
I don't know what happened at that moment but after 2 seconds we kissed passionately....he asked me to go to his house and I said no. Then he walked me to the next metro stop and we kissed again on the way.
When we got to the stop he told me: if you like we can meet again when I get back.
And I said yes, that I would choose the place (I don't know if I was wrong).
He left for a conference the next day and 3 days later I wrote him something ironic ..and he replied after several hours and the conversation went on one or 2 messages.
I think I made a mistake that my second message was too long ( I had told him an anecdote that happened to me and he replied and I consequently made up for it by just replying : yep :) .) And the conversation ended like that.
Given this, is there any chance he'll write to me when he gets back?
If he likes you nothing you do will be wrong
I'm a dude. No text after first date? We saw that you were crazy, self absorbed, or rude. Next video.
What if he said he miss you all the time, but can take not talking to you for days and weeks? 🤦
I'm a guy. What's the proper etiquette after a first date if I don't want to see her again?
1. Politely and respectfully know you didn't feel any attraction and wish her the best.
2. Just don't message at all.
3. Something else?
Honesty is what all woman want ghosting is extremly hurtful especially if been texting for months ..
OMG..what a bunch of BS Crap..let things just unfold naturally and allow the chemistry to just flow...you will be drawn to one another if it is meant to move forward....Not really Rocket Science and if your lucky it will last a lifetime....Just take a leap of faith if you feel it deep in your soul and when you look into each others eye"s...❤🙏👍
I would say it's good advice for awkward and nervous people like I used to be. When you get more confident it does become natural though, but I wouldn't say that everyone knows how to naturally flirt from the get go. :)
I did all of these things last year I went on a date with two guys (separately!) I met on a dating app. They gave me the same signals. Outcome: The first guy eventually ghosted me, the second guy basically got "buyer's remorse" after a few days, as he said he's not ready to start seeing someone again after all (who knows if that's true though).
Fact is, you can do all the things Matthew describes in the video if you feel attracted to the person you're on a date with, however there is no guarantee that they will bag you a second date.
What I find so irritating is that most people who actually end up in relationships never have to watch these videos or read this advice.
Isnt 1 enough
Not ready means not interested. I'm a dude, Trust me.
All these tricks can work if the other person feels chemistry like you since the beginning. Otherwise you'll never ignite any fire in him.
We had a great first date, chatted endlessy and were very present with each other. We definitely had great chemistry and were attracted to each other and kissed for an hour straight at the end. I left because I felt overwhelmed, said thank you for the great evening. Never heard of him since. Can't figure out what went wrong or if he just wanted to hook up and his plan didn't work. But that wasn't my impression.
He feels rejected, and it's ok to pull away, but u have to reassure him
@@ChristIsMyRedeemer2024 lol, a coward man is useless. Better he left
I know girl, such a strong feeling and deception. They don't like you and hurts ego. In our minds simply we can't believe someone we had such a great time could pass like nothing happened.
Rejection is redirection, these people are making us a favour by leaving, they were not for us and things are happening the way they should. Universe is saying no, hear it, accept it, surrender
I need a Matthew Hussey in my life who guides me through my dramatic sentimental life 😭😂😂😂😂
Question for some of the Commentators: If the natural unfolding is working so good for you, what are you doing on this Channel? 🤷🏻♀️
🤣🤣🤣💯
They're self-sabbotaging and looking if things go actually wrong behind their pink glasses?
Or they know things are going bad, but they feel the need to tell everyone everything is peachy, so they can believe it themselves... Which is sad.
The real chemistry is something that happens not something that you create through strategy.-
I will argue with that. Chemistry is not always the right thing to look for. If you always have been attached to people where there was chemistry between you two, but he/she turned out to be bad for you, then I wouldn't go out looking for chemistry.
Chandler Bing: “this is great! I’ll give you a call, we should do it again sometime!”
Anyone else?
Shocks! I haven't been on a date for a long time but why am I smiling watching this the whole time. 😂🙈
Matthew, you rock hard! Thanks for all the wisdom.
That is not how I read the sentence let me tell you
Oh boy 😂
If he said he has a good time and didn’t call/text later it’s his friggen loss. No skin off my nose. Easy peasy.
Thank you for bringing this topic to the table, I messaged Stephen about this a little while back. Many thanks! 🌟
Probably he went back with his ex, because he mentioned her in our conversation
👎
And yet he disappears...it's frustrating
Chemistry is basically sexual tension which is terribly overrated. It used to be a case when man and woman, despite not having a great chemistry nor have any physical touches, will carry on seeing each other if they enjoy each other's presence even in a platonic way and then feelings and sexual chemistry develops naturally (especially true for women!). However, due to all the sexual experiences people have had in the past, many men and women nowadays will simply pass on a person who could potentially be a great partner simply because there is no chemistry in the first few dates. People forget that many great relationships develop from good solid friendships and many bad, toxic relationships will often start from 'great' chemistry....
What if he said that was nice, we should do this again! We hugged. We exchanged numbers and he followed up again when I got home saying lets do it again and let’s chat soon. I said sounds great…now it’s been a week. So I texted to ask how his week was going and he said “Hey! good, been staying busy. How’s yours” and when I replied…nothing back
Should I just assume he’s not interested or should I ask if he’s free on this day and set it up. I was trying to be more in my feminine, receiving energy and wanted to be the one to be pursued but have dating “rules” changed?
It sounds to me like you dropped plenty of hints to him that you’d love to go out again. If he wanted to, he would have. At least, that’s always been my philosophy. :/
Why should I, as woman put so much effort in this shit? He can also think about asking me a second Date 😂😂😂otherwise he can go.
That's exactly what I thought. So, I stopped putting effort into dating and got a dog.
@@Berserker793 best decision
It's not a lot of effort , specially when you aren't thinking of doing it anymore.Plus those are things that help communicate your interest if you have trouble with that.Not everyone needs to do those in a conscious way,even tho everyone can probably improve that skill.
For us with social anxiety this is GOLD!!
@@micilovesami I'm pretty good with social situations, but I had women expect perfection on the first date. They seem to forget that I'm also human and might have a little anxiety on a first date.
Just had a first date, thought it went so well….He text he doesn’t want to see me again 🤦♀️. Just realising I missed EVERY ONE OF MATTHEWS TIPS ffs 😂. Next time eh, next time.
I'm.not touching anyone on a first date!!
Dear god.. i have so much work to do.. I thought i did everything right, and no second date. I guess I didnt check all the boxs he said I did 😊 Next..
This is ok if you are just looking for someone short term. Initial chemistry is lust…….and initial chemistry is not a foundation for a long term relationship. Unless that’s not what you want.
There is no chemistry if you just want to get laid....don"t confuse love and haveing sex as the same..I hope you get experiance Love...NamasteTom...
Yeah, it is to get you a second date like he said, nothing more than that really. I would say the Gottmans have really good research on what actually keeps a relationship healthy. :)
I agree with you @Tom Drummy Chemistry is not going to help you through those curve balls life throws at you.... trust, loyalty and commitment does..especially during the ugly times... love is a verb - an act of service...feelings come and go... the whole idea of falling into love is a misnomer... you grow to love a person... this perpetual "falling in and out of love" and jumping from one relationship or date to the next... is not really good for anyone
So true. I was in a relationship with a guy with whom the chemistry was great like few people could have nowadays. I mean we could even understand each other simply by looking at each other's eyes or even touching each other. But that was not apparently enough because we had different visions about the future. Despite we tried so many times imposing and exposing our visions to each other aiming at convincing one another that our vision was the "best", this situation afterwards led to many conflicts and even if we could not be apart, guess what, he first asked for ending things. So i'd say, first creteria: common vision, values, second: chemistry.
Of course not!! Chemistry is a must for a long happy relationship (otherwise it is just a friendship). But for sure a relationship is also based on a good conection, great conversations.. I think Matthew have said it clear many times! This video was just about the chemistry part.
No chemistry between that hulahula thing and me🤣🤣🤣great video anyway, thanks
Better yet how about people skip just don’t say that they had a good time and just say I’m not interested. Society needs to teach people to be upfront and just say the truth and mislead people. I I’d rather have my feeling hurt and know the truth than be oblivious to something.
I did ALL of this!!!!! He still hasn’t asked me out!!! Been three days since the first date!!
oh this is completely my problem....crap
Like clearly if you were a jerk I wouldn't be on this date. But you weren't like amazing either so
Who is Jameson?
I LOVE Oldschool and
ENJOYED the hula hoop part.
So we had a really good time, Matthew 😉
😂😂
Its not so easy and obvious...
I always say: see you 🤣.... To everybody. It is just expression to end conversation/meeting
It was really funny date 😂
The hula hopping clip is gold 😂
I do have a question what if you haven't even gotten to the first date?
@@spirals7354 I honestly do not think you should give up a wise friend told me it is better to have a few lifelong friends and be joyous with then look for someone who cannot see how amazing you are
Hi Matthew, awesome video! I had my second date with a guy I met on Hinge about five days ago, and it went really well. We had a great time, and he seemed to like my plans and even winked at me during dinner. He's super sweet and nice. However, he hasn't messaged me at all since the date. I'm thinking of waiting for him to make the next move. He's leaving for the Navy at the end of next month, so I'm not sure what to do now. I'm interested in pursuing a relationship or meeting up a few more times. Any advice on how to proceed?
Oh my gosh refreshingly brilliant suggestions
Hey Matthew, do you have any advice for people for uncomfortable with touching?
Honestly I feel like dating is a completely different beast these days.
All of these tips would have guaranteed multiple dates with someone.
Now it seems like everyone is looking for the next, perfectly curated thing. The social media version of the person, not the real version.