Space News: China May Disrupt Musk’s Starlink, Presidential DNA in Space, Jupiter and Venus Kiss!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
- Stephen Colbert looks into the latest developments from beyond Earth’s atmosphere, including concerns about China’s plan to disrupt Elon Musk’s Starlink satellite internet service, a plan to send DNA from American presidents into space, and a planetary “kiss” between Jupiter and Venus.
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.
![[TH] JFT vs RLF - VCT Ascension Pacific - Day 2](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PuIH7w_jO6c/mqdefault.jpg)
As a non-US person I think it's so fking crazy to try to ban public spaces from showing classical art that shows a naked person, especially when porn is so easily accessible even to a toddler
Murica: ban nude art!
Also Murica: pornhub premium should be free!
That's....
...........actuality a good point
And they praised Donald Trump for standing up and lying. Go figure.
One toddler even got Alexa to go to a pom site by accident.
Here's the link:
th-cam.com/video/hJzxMj2gMSw/w-d-xo.html
yep same for me. the concept I don't get, is how US Americans always associate nudity with sexuality or pronography....
"Trust me, no matter how many quarters you feed that claw, you'll never get that space, Pikachu." Felt that.
It would be fun if NASA would allow us to play with the space claw, though.
@@yudithcaron8053 Beavis and Butt-head get picked to do that after excelling at a simulation bc it was like scoring.
The Simpsons predicted this will happen about the statue of David. Marge was the hero!!
came to the comments to see if anyone was going to mention that episode!
Please tell us: what happened next??
Is because this has happened every 10 years . This tactic is not new ,religious people have the memory of a walnut and fall for it again every time 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
So you're saying "Simpsons did it"?
I will keep it short. Comedy is about satire, look at Monty Python Life of Brian. It made as laugh but just take it with a pinch of salt. Without laughter, where would we be.
Nudity does not equal pornography.
Amen.
it does to most religious folks. sad really.
Religious people are perverts.
It’s a rock. It’s not really naked.
@@galens2543 It's a 600 year old chunk of marble, people are just snowflakes over nudity unfortunately.
The David thing is ridiculous. Anyone with Internet access can look up the statue and see it in all it's glory. Geezus, how many families have actually seen it in person? Millions.
I wonder if there would have been a similar outcry if it were the Venus de Milo or any of a number of paintings from the period showing nude women.
Florida is just pissed their state is a limp dick. They're jealous.
Ssssh, now those crazy parents are gonna be upset that kids can access the internets
@@Kzorith Some people really need to get over themselves. These pieces of art have been around for many years and it's only people with dirty minds who have an issue with a naked statue or a painting of a naked person. Probably some religious zealot started the complaining.
I'm sure a lot of Europeans are laughing at what hicks we are.
I can't imagine having the level of brain damage required to think a statue is 'too lewd'
I mean, to be fair, have you SEEN that new MLK statue? /s
I like the statue of Baphomet with an enormous erection that the Satanists put up at that state court house in response to the ten commandments statue.
In space... no one can hear you roll your eyes at Elon.
But it would probably sound like the old Microsoft space pinball game
Yeah, because him and everyone else are too busy running away from Twitter!
I am suspicious than Neuralink is just a way to reprogram everyone to love and worship Elon Musk while living on nothing but a diet of celebratory sugar pellets 😆
@@alphaomega4968 (while staring into a screen constantly attached to their person)
Fun fact: most debut launches of new rockets fail. Just in the last year we've had Firefly's Alpha, ABL's RS1, Landspace's Zhuque-2, MHI's H3, Arianespace's Vega-C*, and Relativity's Terran 1 all fail to reach orbit. SpaceX had three failed Falcon 1 launches before getting to orbit for the first time in 2008. (*Technically it was the second flight of Vega-C.)
Falcon Heavy's test flight in 2018 was also given a 50/50 chance of success by Elon, so sandbagging Starship's maiden launch is hardly surprising. Statistically, it would be more unusual for it to succeed than to fail, and a lot of work is going into protecting the launch infrastructure against an explosion.
The thing to remember about rockets is that all the testing and simulation in the world can only get you so far. You have to launch them to get the full picture.
Conjunction junction what's your function? Hookin' up phrases and makin' 'em run right. 🎶
Same country who invented truck nuts thinks David is vulgar.
LOL
Bahahahahahaha 😂😂😂
High vs. low culture👍👍
That Uranus joke is brilliant.
Uranus will also be in the mix up there. It's just not visible to the naked eye for most people, and probably not to anyone at all while the moon is within their field of view.
@@cptnoname add to that mix that the sun refuses to shine there most of the time...😁
@@johnnyvh1188 that does indeed seem to be the case lol
I thought it was named UrRectum?
The original black hole...
Y'all should make segments of just the band playing. Run them when you're on vacation.
2 drumsticks up for that one. I would love to hear them roll as part of the show. But, alas, that privilege of hearing them is reserved for the studio audience. Woe is us 🎵🎵
@Ian the soccer ref Well seems every few weeks they go on a break. They could just run sets of the band and still get views.
You really missed an opportunity there. "News... In... SPAAACCCEEEE!!!"
😆♥️
Like “pigs in space “
@@jcoopes5604
Exactly, just like "Pigs in Space", thank you Muppet Show.
But do you really want to tempt Disney to sue you? Because they WILL sue you.
I look forward to the day when Americans stop living in the shadow of the ghosts of the Puritans and the Founding Fathers, and we can actually make decisions based in things like "fact" and "what's happening right now".
we live in the shadows of the christian from the 80's, not the founding father who were against religion in government. republicans needed the religious vote when reagan was president, so too many have become the loud minority and changed the usa for the worse.
The rest of us in the world would like the US to do that too
Except, different people have different opinions on what is happening right now. There is no consensus which makes it hard to proceed. The entire political system is stalled because of this and therefor progress is 100x slower than China.
It's so damn big both physically and population, that getting a true majority to agree on any change seems to be impossible. The people are so different in all the different areas they have.
They need to be forced to seperate like Ticketmaster , for their own good 😂. Make 4 countries and let them govern accordingly. But be like the EU where travel is super easy between the countries.
I don't think they know what a dictionary is, to look up the definition of draconian😂
I dunno.. The David did wonders for my body image.. he's not exactly hung like a horse.
Hes a grower not a shower!
*Penisimage.
Your Penis is not your body.
The Greeks thought that a man with a large penis was representative of man controlled by his baser instincts.
He's got some hard rocks, though that's for sure
Give him a break, he's naked and it was cold that day.
The Simpsons did an episode about people protesting the David and school kids seeing the David on a school trip
Won't somebody think of the children!!
Graphics department clearly went insane waiting for Stephen's return!🤣🤣🤣
Idle hands are the devil's plaything.
Sounds like someone in the CBS executive offices had a bad case of David envy.
Weird how cancelling the David statue isn't called woke.
Woke, would be if the statue was taken on tour and forced into people’s lives by being anywhere near them.
@@jayluck8047 You mean like Trump?
@@tjewett1967 For the win 💯
@@jayluck8047 if you don't like what you see put a bag over your head.
@@joshuadallas3135 Not complaining, just explaining. I’m an artist myself.
People actually remember the "blue dress?" Man, this audience is old (and so am I).
It has resurfaced due to the similarity in the E Jean Carrol case where she too kept a stained article of clothing.
Conservatives sure think about sexual relations a lot.
A bunch of toe-tappers!
dont forget is also state with a bunch of gloryholes around disney world.
G.O.P.
Genitals; Our Priority
Yep, they sure do. They also keep track of everyone's sexual relations.
...especially white evangelical Christians.
The conjunction junction alien one was fab-ufo-lous!
Not to defend Elon, but 'not blowing up on the launch pad' is actually a seriously high bar, rockets are controlled explosions - barely. It actually is rocket science
It seems that Elon became synonymous with "everything bad". Kinda sucks that even SpaceX is now mocked for its achievements.
Guess Steven wants to go to Russia for the launches.
Yeah, Stephen showing his ignorance here.
@@Custo911 Elon is everything bad, including stealing the credit for companies he just purchases and running their reputations into the ground in order to feed his ego.
He's like a shitty Edison, except Edison actually created things and was also already pretty shitty.
@@dphuntsman You're aware we've been consistently clearing the "don't blow-up on the launch-pad" bar for almost a fucking century, right?
@@michaelccozens Actually, the last three new rocket designs all failed on their first missions; and none of Them were attempting what Elon & Co are trying to do with SuperHeavy/Starship: an unprecedented-sized rocket, with unprecedented propellants….and designed to be the first- EVER- fully reusable system, to boot- and ALL privately funded. So, as someone who recently retired from NASA after 46 years and done a fair bit of the whole rocket-launch stuff…..my comment stands.
When I went to an art museum in elementary school, a bunch of kids pointed and giggled at some African fetish sculptures. The teacher said "Oh, your fathers all have the same thing. Don't laugh." (Well, maybe not quite like what these sculptures had.) No one was traumatized.
i absolutely love the graphics, kudos to the graphics team!!!!
Most serious initiatives for dealing with space junk come from Europe. Makes me proud.
And Musks is starlink is the biggest space junk creation ever.
@@jonny-b4954 Actually no, and it really shows how much you two actually know about the subject. First of all Space X is the first AND ONLY company currently capable of reducing space junk by constantly designing around the concept of reusability. Second of all Stalink orbits at 500 km which means even in worst case scenarios (loss of control, crashing, etc) atmospheric drag will put them down in 10 years naturally. But that will be a weird occurrence, for all the other starlink satellites, they're designed with ion thrusters so that SpaceX can be able to manually deorbit them once they fullfilled their use cycle. Again, not many companies bother with that.
Also the whole concept of space junk is a bit overrated. Yes, there's a lot of crap going around, but there's also a lot of space going around. The total area for satellites is literally larger than the whole area of planet earth. You're not actually gonna cover the skies with crap. The real problem of space garbage comes from little objects, stuff like a loose paint particle, or some tool being lost by the ISS, or some other small part that got loose...you know, the stuff that is hard to see and monitor from Earth, not a fully operational satellites with RCS control that everyone on Earth knows where it is at all times.
The other problem would be objects that are stuck in "graveyard orbits", for instance the James Webb Telescope will forever remain there as garbage. But that's not an issue with LEO, all LEO satellites will eventually fall down due to atmospheric drag. In fact, the ISS didn't constantly inject some spee to it every once in a while, it would've already fallen.
Not sure why we aren't investing more heavily in salvage. The money in the materials used to create that 'junk' makes recycling it pretty valuable, which could also lead to mining & soon, deeper exploration. Musk, or Bezos- I forget which, was right about one thing: the next great industrial frontier is outside our atmosphere where the opportunities are literally infinite.
Give your graphics package people a raise, or at least a great yearly review. The transitions had me busting up.
This has the same weird and wacky energy as Seth Meyers' "Popsicle Schtick" segment... and I find that absolutely wonderful.
Educators are getting fed up and quitting in droves. Hopefully these parents have the lesson plans and time to teach their own children according to their narrow world view, religious beliefs, and extremely limited life experiences.
Probably not. But society will need folks to clean toilets, parks and streets in the future as well.
When the Rockefeller education system began, he said he did not want thinkers, he wanted workers.
I have a sign in my living room that says, “ if you’ve never jumped from one couch to the other to avoid the lava you’ve never had a childhood” so I def got that joke, even if no one else did! ❤❤❤😂
I like that the alien was named Zorg!
I’ve noticed that (fictional) violence is considered more acceptable than nudity. I saw a slasher movie on tv where a young woman taking off her top was censored but they later show that same woman getting decapitated.
Not having a uranus joke in there would have been tragic.
Actually, it does make sense that starlink satellite internet can be seen as a danger to china by Chinese officials. Because, that would be an internet connection not controlled by them, so their people would be able to freely share and access information, which considering china’s recent political turmoil, would be problematic for the current government.
Great delivery on the punch line, Stephen!🤣🤣🤣
I have seen the David in real life! Also, I take my kids to the art galleries all the time and while they giggle at the nudity in the paintings and statues they really learn a lot, and seem to have fun.
The claw decides who will stay and who will go.
The CLAAAAW 😳
Loved the Floor is Lava joke, i got it. 😂 and the old Uranus joke.
Can we just shout out to the graphics dept .!! Cause those were great !😂
Uranus is right there too, you know. It's just very small and faint.
What does Star Trek and Toilet Paper have in common???
@@BroAnarchy both are willing and able to boldly go wipe out any Klingons in the vicinity of Uranus😉
Conjunction Junction just broke the nostalgia meter
I never understood the USA's obsession with censorship, mainly when it comes to "bad words" we all use, and the human body we all should have....
There exists America, as it is. Not perfect, kind of seedy, earthy morals and not nearly educated enough.
And then there is the America that is idealized. "A shining city on the hill" - R Reagan, fibbing to the masses 1981.
It kind of explains the whole conservative's keeping their heads in the sand, instead of enjoying the life we all have.
Stephen delivers even the easiest jokes THE BEST. I love you forever, Stephen, keep it up!!
I am impressed that Space News has lasted as long as it has!!
God bless you graphics department. Each time the alien came out had me laughing. Keep up the good work!
I’m more worried about the handles on the pommel horse! (I fell on the bicycle crossbar trying to ride down a grassy slope in my teens, which left me in a fetal position on the ground for 20 minutes before I could move again.) 😖
That's nuts! 😧
LOL. Schwinn made a bike called the "Orange Crate" in the 70's that was specifically and deliberately designed to neuter young boys. Spring loaded forks, drum brake on the 12" front wheel that was either open or locked with nothing in between, and a shifter on that crossbar pointing right at the "target" if you were in 1st or 2nd gear. Google an image of it. They LOOK cool, but are child killers.
I read that in Phil Hartman's voice.
RIP, Man of a Thousand Voices, RIP
Space is full of nougat *and* caramel. If your Milky Way only has nougat, you've got a Three Musketeers in disguise
Missed a good opportunity for Space President News, alien should've said "4 more lightyears"
Speaking of "the David," yet you can see professional female ice skaters being twirled around with legs spread wide open pointed at the camera, same for swimmers, divers and gymnasts - why the g-strings? when their male counterparts are always fully clothed. It just goes to show the absurd hypocrisy and and the accepted objectification of girls and women.
Exactly. The rule that female volleyball players have to wear bikinis no more than 4 inches at the hip?? What dirty old men came up with that one?
This has always bothered me! I feel seen, ty.
@@theabristlebroom4378 Thanks, and unfortunately, more people don't speak up. It's unbelievable.
I loved the Schoolhouse Rock reference
Fun fact, King David danced naked in the streets when he brought the Ark of the Covenant back into the City of David. One of his wives saw him and thought it was below him to do such a thing. He never touched or spoke to her again.
Another fact, that it was King Saul's daughter, Michal, who complained about David's dancing. She was the one who helped him escape her father's attempt huh to kill him. He abandoned her and married a lot of women after that.
Her father had her remarry and David came to power, he sent for her to come back. Her second husband followed her when she returned to David, crying every step of the way. I forget what his name was, but either he really loved her or was scared to death what David would do to him for marrying his wife.
@@janestarr4403 'fact'
I mean... If you ignore the parts of Samuel I and II that insist David was "the best person ever you guys, omg for real" and just look at what David does and why... he is clearly not a good person. He conducts himself like a mob boss. He runs protection rackets. He steals. He ruins other people's relationships and lives just because he's horny. And all of this is rationalized by saying "god hated those people anyway." Samuel I and II are very weird books.
Joseph and David were my 2 Bible heroes. I know more about their recorded history than most people do. I'm not saying David wasn't a good man. Admitting he had faults makes him more human than most of the people in the Bible. He made mistakes, but was forgiven because he repented. Jesus was born to the House of David. He is, by far, the most known person in the Bible other than Christ. But there was a lot more to him than just killing Goliath.
@@janestarr4403 Real repentance involves remediation and efforts at improvement, not this "presto-chango deathbed conversion" crap.
I like how SNL did an entire sketch on the David with close ups, yet CBS couldn't even try
To be fair, space is hard, and the Superheavy booster is a radical new design. Bigger and heavier than the Saturn V, and with more engines in it's booster stage than the N1. Not blowing up on the pad is actually a valid goal. Getting to Max-Q would be amazing, getting to Starship separation and engine start would be incredible. Reaching orbit on the first try would be superlative.
They almost blew up the pad recently just testing the engines. Out of the first 4 flights of the top part, 3 exploded on live TV just trying to land again. The 3rd explosion hilariously happened while the TV host (and future passenger) was celebrating the successful landing.
What would Space News be without a good "probing Uranus" pun.
Banning anything has been futile since the internet came out.
I swear to god, I'm not being facetious. . . But can somebody please, _please_ explain to me why people are so obsessed with 11 year olds seeing a naked statue???
It's seriously getting creepy and I literally _DO NOT UNDERSTAND_
I do NOT like feeling that way, so if anyone can help put this into perspective, that would be MUCH appreciated. . .
(Seriously, it's starting to freak me out)
The Puritan history of the US greatly influenced the Conservative movement.
From decades of observation of religious conservatives, from a safe distance, the thought process seems to be;
Children come into the world pure & sinless
The naked body inspires lustful thoughts
Lust is sin
Anyone willing to let children see nakedness is trying to corrupt children and lead them into sin
Therefore anyone willing to let children see nakedness is evil
Therefore HOLY WAR against the forces of evil
@@bbirda1287 Could you be a bit more specific, please?
They are control freaks. Also, I agree. It’s creepy and bothersome.
Sometimes that claw grabs the space junk and acts like it grabbed it and drops it.
It's job is to drop it all, like the thing convicts use to clean streets.
that last space joke was pretty good xD
Ots means over the shoulder. I'm smart
Lewis is great. Prove me wrong.
ClearSpace is happy to answer any questions on "space cleaning news". Hope to speak soon Mr Colbert!
"Why isn't he circumsized?" ecause outside of the USA, that's purely a thing, people do for religious reasons in Islam and Judaism. Italy, where "David" is from is in its majority catholic, so, niether a muslim nor a jewish place. The figure of David himself was jewish, but I imagine, Michelangelo portrayed him as a figure of Christianity and probably just hasn't seen a lot of circumsised penises.
If he was circumcised, he'd be called Dave
I don’t know if they were circumcised but Michelangelo certainly saw a lot of penises. He was famously gay, to the point a priest objected to the homoerotic nature of the Sistine Chapel frescoes. Michelangelo was so untouchable and championed by the Pope (not to mention the chapel was named after Pope Sixtus), that he painted the image of the priest in the Sistine Chapel fresco as one of the people descending into hell. Not only that the priest has donkey ears and a snake biting his penis.
@@Costa_Conn Omg Dave. haha This killed me!
Male genital mutialtion was a Jewish creation, for the purpose of preventing masturbation. Anyone who says otherwise has never turned a page of a book. My poor fellow males that had their body carved apart at birth lost some 200,000 nerve endings, when they were thrown into the bin. Now they are a good boy who can't jerk-off. Female equivalent draws the right reaction. And no, it's not equivalent, it's even worse. People who cut off part of your penis, are fu**ing animals.
Hey everybody, routine infant circumcision should be considered child abuse if it's not absolutely medically necessary and was initially popularized in the US as a means to curb masturbation and now just lines doctors pockets with easy money which is why they keep promoting it as healthy! It's not, it's dangerous and traumatizing.
Bye!
the uranus joke was pure gold. well done 👏
This was a fun one.. liked all the silly graphics 😁
That joke from the 90's sweet sweet nostalgia 😂
🎶 _"Venus and Mars are alright, tonight..."_ 🎶
Uranus is in that planetary mix too.
USA: land of the free
USA: you cannot look at that important piece of art history because the rock is shaped like a peepee
Seeing the David in Florence was one of the highlights of my life!
Once I punted Zendaya so hard she told Disney and they called me, I told them of course I can I am Dylan Ronan.
Ahhh the good old Uranus joke… classic 😁
"Ice is a rock, water is lava, and you are a lava monster, I guess." -- Hank Green
So, Mars: Water, lava, same thing
OK, that's actually a good point that I never thought about, though: why _isn't_ Michaelangelo's David circumcised? He was a Jew. It's kinda a big part of the religion. It's literally commanded _in the Tanakh._
Reminds me, I went to Round 1 over the weekend and spent $44 on crane machines and won 3 large ones :) Proud moment.
Lol! Singing Conjunction Function now! Luv they traveled by jumping couch cushion to house cushion! Lava!!! 😅😅😅😅😅
Elon should be nowhere near our space program .
you are sitting in space , it's all around you.
LOL his company *IS* USA space program. If you don't like it go beg Russians for favors.
@@Custo911 no it isnt... SpaceX is a SUB-contactor for NASA.
SpaceX is the best thing about the US space program, and Elon started it before he went full internet troll and nutso. Gwynne Shotwell is currently running SpaceX's operations, and she is a steady hand at the wheel while Elon is destroying Twitter.
Twitter called, they need your anti-Musk trolling services asap to keep their rage machine pumping
That wasn't a Milky Way bar, that had toffee and so was a Mars bar!
What's in his cup, it isn't water😂😂😂
now, I’m thinking of Uranus
I love Uranus
Ewwww
Missed Colbert
the alien vacuum getting clogged by a rock (4:00) is my favorite thing today.........
Are those long alien animations really necessary? 😃
graphics soooo cool and so funny.
launching DNA samples into space? wasn't this how SpaceGodzilla was born?
All the news we didnt know that we needed. From Mars bars. It takes a Snickers to feel like yourself again. God just laughs.
I saw a photograph of the full statue for the first time in middle school in the early 70's. I will never forget my traumatic reaction. "That's it?" I mean, it looked like a penis, but way smaller. I think I may have giggled because it looked so silly.
Love youz guyz Lewis’ smile makes me smile every single time
I'm so glad the late show is finally getting on the popsicle shtick bandwagon.
That was an awfully great ending to this segment.
Space new rocks! Space is the place :-D
Once I slapped Zendaya so hard she had to make a music video, and to this day we know it as Neverland.
The graphics took away from the segment. The last one was good tho
I have never seen Michelangelo’s “David” in person, but I just recently googled it since conservatives have been making such a fuss about it. And, thanks for the recommendation, republicans, but it was a bit difficult to fap to. Not impossible, mind you, but difficult.
Why didn’t I see Uranus coming?? 😂🤣🤣
If Late Night Hosts were US Presidents Johnny Carson would be Washington and Stephen would be FDR.
this was pretty good!!
It is 2016 nice take!
That graphic made me imagine an alien space hobo that likes to come by and clean up our space debree
I believe you crapped yourself thinking about it 😂
Graphics department hit the jackpot today.