3 UPDATES: Dad Takes My Daughter To The Hospital While I'm At Work & I Find Out It's Bc He Wanted To
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: Dad Takes My Daughter To The Hospital While I'm At Work & I Find Out It's Bc He Wanted To Give Her This Surgery... Oh my God I Never Thought I Will Have to Call Cops on my OWN Dad
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My dad has always been a VERY judgemental person. Needless to say, this has impacted the self-esteem of my siblings', me and my mom but it is only me who has actively made efforts to ever call him out on his toxicity. That too, has been of no avail because those attempts were always met with arguments and I was always made to apologize to my dad for the same for being 'rude'.
#aitareddit #redditaita #reddit #aita #relationships
People need to STOP encouraging their spouses to reconciling with cut-off family.
Any relatives who support what that father was trying to do with his grandchild need to be cut off. They had the gall to say he was trying to help by trying to make his grandchild more white, that says a lot about the rest of the family that instead of being horrified by what he attempted, they attempted to justify it.
What I am wondering is, what kind of 'colour altering surgery' is the dad imagining? For that matter, why is he trying to instigate ANY kind of surgery for a child that he has no authority over?
It is complete skin bleaching. Like what Michael Jackson had done. He is clearly a racist.
@@jessicapearson9479 Yeah sounds about right.
This is a perfect example of someone who should take no contact with entitled abuse family
Do such surgeries exist for a very small child? How could any doctor keep their license for such monstrous surgeries?
Sue him for Abuse and for this in the hospital .And the money should become from him is for the college fund a Holiday abroad
Therapy won't fix them. It will help you move on. Lean on fantastic inlaws.
The OP's father in the first story is the reason that I do *NOT* support the fiction of grandparents rights.
You know, I just find these people incredible. How the hell did that crazy grandfather think he could actually subject his granddaughter to an operation without her parent’s permission? That is just nuts!
Narcissists believe that they alone have the ultimate authority over everyone in their circle. Some are less overt and up-front about it than OP's father. But it's always all about them and what they want. My malignant narcissist father was absolutely obsessive about getting what he wanted. And he was like that until he died.
Her daughter changed and started acting a bit off around the family, she no longer enjoyed their company and yet OP didn’t see this as red flags or sit her daughter down and talk to her to see what was happening?? All this change in her behaviour should have been warning signs which OP should have picked up on especially since she knew just what kind of ppl her family were
Love R girl. She has original stories all the time. Doing a great job. Her voice is soothing and her inflection is on point for the story. Great story teller blessed be
I understand that its hard not to use the dead name. I have done this to my Son. I also get the eye roll from him.. But I am tring to do better on this. My love for him is unbrakeable!
You allowed your child to be around your abuser. YTA
Story 1. My narcissistic mother was exactly the same as this father.
"I had horrible parents, so I left my daughter around them and then I ignored changes in her behavior and personality" ... I'm so sick of stupid people.
They convinced OP they 'changed'. Narcissists are very good at that.
I feel so bad for O.P., her daughter, and husband. She wanted to try to heal her relationship with her family, and her dad stabbed her in the back. Find peace and love with your real family.
The transgender son. If Dad introduces you as his elder son again, then shake hands and say that you were known as X but you are now known as his daughter, Y. This will make the situation clear and helps others to not use your dead name and gender.
And no reason to be offended, everyone would be blessed to have a father like yours, embrace him. At this point after you described him you only appear petty
why anyone would cut up their body willingly for what BS. I thought that being a male or female was only in your mind and that your body parts have nothing to do with it. or is that only what you say when you say there is more than two sexes. well good luck with you bottom being cut up or added. to change to a male as a female, they take a muscle from your body and shape it into a so called penis and attach it to you so that you will have kidney and urininial infections for the rest of your life. and they remove your beast and if you are a male to female than they slice a hole in your body, cut up your penis so it goes up there and you will have to have a procedure done often through your your life to keep it open and it is a pain in the ass. your body wants to close it up and for what. you do not feel any sensation there during sex and the woman to man will never be able to get it up and into a vagina for sex. to men you will always have you XY chromosome and to you women you will always be XX. and to those women who keep their ovary, you are still a hairy woman who has a baby.. like those people who were in the freak show in the past with hair all over their bodies. your child can call you his or hers hairy mom who will never be able to breast fed her child either. sad and very sick.
Story 1
Please press legal charges against him he has absolutely no legal rights to take your child to the hospital Jasmine has had to tolerate his abusive behaviour, because his trying to get your child skin bleaching and also a gastric band he has been abusing her mentally and do not back down,and your family including your mother are abusive press what ever charges you can and never allow your family access to your precious child ,she's beautiful as she is and they are truly toxic ,and get your daughter therapy
And never allow any single member of your family to have access to you and your beautiful family
Being autistic is not an excuse for bad behavior. When told OP would not prefer to live with him, guy had a tantrum, thus showing one further reason not to live with the guy. His parents getting involved and insulting OP's mother was just providing further reasons not to live with the guy. Mike saying they could compromise if bull, his behavior suggest that only OP will have to compromise anything and the parents will get involved anytime Mike doesn't get his way. There were a lot of red flags here.
Please be hyper alert. Get security cameras with sound & make sure everyone that could possibly have any sort of access to jasmine, your husband or yourself. I hope you have jasmine speak to a therapist to undo the damage psycho grandpa & grandma may have done. You & your husband might consider this too.
Please know that it’s not your fault. Your parents deceived you.
I thought at first you were going to say your dad was trying to get a female circumcision done on her--she’s about the age where certain cultures still do this horrible procedure on girls.
For the miss naming father story he’s an old man he doesn’t care if you’re male or female he’s just got these words stuck in his head and being an old person their brains are not as elastic as young people are he knows you’re a girl he knows you’re a woman he knows all of that he’s just having a hard time switching over the words so calm down don’t be so mad at him he does love you he’s just having a hard time making the transition himself he’s not trying to be rude and I seriously doubt he’s doing it on purpose
This is all mention a very gentle way he probably didn’t even realize he said son
S1. OP knows how toxic her family is hence she cut them off from her life. But then reconciled with them and her daughter became a sacrificial lamb. This happens when one is confused and doesn't know the difference between reality and wishful thinking. Actions made in the past can predicts actions in the future. Protect your family OP.
I think she let her family in again because in-laws told her to try to fix things. They supported her for many years and showed her the right way of love so maybe this was a good plan... except it wasn't
I would call out the family and your father publicly.
Tell her you are not being painted like who you are.
Forgive yourself and file the restraining order.
Also file abuse charges to and file for a settlement to sue.
Public out him everywhere and to all he knows!!!
Story 1: OP is the YTA in this story. Why hide what hideous things her father did from the family. You don't hide wrong things what people do to you. You have to air their dirty laundry if you want justice.
I know of a case where a grandmother took her daughter to Egypt "to meet her mother's family" and had her circumcised while there. When she brought the child home to North America her own daughter killed her foir having the child mutilated when the grandmother insisted that it had to be done because it had always been that way. I never read the verdict, but if I had been on the jury there would have been no conviction.
Story one reminds me of this. That this grandfather thinks he can have a child surgically altered to be more white shows just how STUPID, STUPID STUPID racists can be. It has taken several generations for the Reagan/Bush education cuts to enable these morons but there is the result. OP is to be congratulated for not murdering her father on the spot. Hopefully she will drag her father through criminal charges and use her family's reaction to determine who is worthy of contact.
As for the charge: Kidnapping and child abduction, of course!
Unfortunately, the dad learned to be how he is from at least one side of his parental units. This isn't just a him problem but learned down generations. It won't take just one person to buck the trend to change the whole scenario. She does need to break off from that toxic family totally and be wary of any of them coming to her with an olive branch as it always has a chance of it being a sly way to try to get their way. It sounds like you have a great family in Aulario's so go with them and let go of your past.
Parental units! Are they coneheads!? LOL!
Just exactly what was OP's dad was helping with? Diminishing his granddaughters self esteem?
Wtf is wrong with that man... Op should pursue charges and go nc with het extremely toxic family imo the whole lot are worthless
In what world would a doctor perform weight loss surgery on a toddler
Why would you ever let your kids with your abuser? Maybe they have learned but you should NEVER risk it.
I know! She let her children be alone with these monsters.
Right!! Why tf would somebody who went through some serious abuse think it was a fantastic idea to put their own kid through that shit too...awful mother.
Part of the answer is the damage that results from being raised by an abuser. Maybe you assume that OP has the insight, experience, and ability to see who her father is and think clearly about it. But abuse causes damage psychologically, emotionally, and even physically, and that can affect the decision-making process.
@@suzannepatterson3445 She was smart enough to go NC for years.
@@yamairad1 But that was because she found peace with her husband and in-law family who were the ones who told her to try to fix things with her family. She wanted to make THEM happy believing they were right about it
When I got divorced I had to sleep with the TV on a DVD movie. As soon as it went off I would wake up, set it to play again then fall right to sleep.
“I don’t look like a man at all.” Sure, buddy.
OP knew that her father was toxic and still left her daughter with him. Why? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He needs to live on his own or go back home and live his parents. Who wants to live with a grown man that throws tantrums? I'm a night owl and I wish someone would complain about my light or TV on after 9pm. I think HE LIKES HER and the rejection of being roommates was against his like for her.
He sucks
s2: I am from a country that drives on the right side of the road and now live in a country that drives on the left side of the road. After 15 years i still instinctively look on the wrong side when i am crossing the road and have been nearly run over a few time. You can't expect people to always get your name and gender right when they have been calling you a certain name and gender all your life. You need to give them time to adjust. I think you are being very unreasonable, especially with how supportive you admit your Dad has been. It is not like he's doing it out of spite, he is going to make mistakes from time to time.
#2. As the mother of a trans son, it doesn't take long to use the correct name and gender. Communication is key. I struggled with what gender to use when referring to my son's early years (he started identifying as male at 15). So I sat him down and explained I never know what gender to use when referring to early years. He said that he didn't mind being referred to as female up to the age of 15, when he no longer felt female. OP's father sounds as though he's trying, but it sounds like he hasn't completely accepted OP's transition. Best wishes to OP x
Why is op putting her fiancé around her toxic family op needs to seek therapy story1
Sadly first OP is right to believe they failed as a parent because even if she thought her family might have changed she should have been actively protecting her daughter by not allowing her family anything but supervised visitations with her as a precaution. Then there is the fact that having failed that she also failed to see her daughter change in behavior as a red flag and talk to her about it. Of course her family is siding with the dad it's what they have been conditioned to do as his enablers. I hope that OP learns a hard lesson from this and realizes that abusers and their enablers don't change without a lot of help and to talk to your daughter about any sudden changes you see in her personality.
Story 1..NTAH.
S1 you tolerated and made excuses for your abusive father and family. You should have stayed NC Then let him abuse your child. I hope you allowed the police to arrest him for child endangerment. Lol the hospital called the police. Get a restraining order against your dad and mom. Go NC and block them
To the Transgendered son, you have a respectable father and you are an asshole at that moment.
He treat you well and respectful, you should have done the same and not embarrassed him.
I am so sick of all the "labels", so you are not amendable to a parent who makes a mistake, has a for him a good memory, do you shame them and want to trash them, something that you became comfortable with in your own time you want to be instantaneous for those around you. These ae the LGBTQ people I dislike. It's hard for family around you be patient, be as loving to them as they are to you. The family has lost the "dead" you and it's not just a name. Be the loving person and not the offended one you always were.
Story 1....I find this story too hard to believe.
Which one ?
@@cma1676 Story 1.
S3 NTA you told him why you can't share an appt with him that's all you need to do. Hang up on anyone who calls you to berate you over Mike. He's a baby running back to mommy and daddy. Move on
As a parent to my daughter who came out trans 3 years ago, you handled it very well. I agree that your father is a loving man who is in need of therapy bc grieving the loss of achild is traumatic. It is a conflict to celebrate the transition and grieve the loss. For me I miss gendered a few times until she explained how painful it was for her. She understood it wasn't malicious and that I needed practice. But she didn't know the conflict was there because I had all these happy memories that I didn't understand that I got to keep and enjoy. As a parent our personal experience of becoming a parent seems to be under attack. There lies the conflict, more confusion in our minds. Once your dad understands that those memories he can keep, he'll do fine. My daughter tells me of stories of people being thrown out of their homes and disowned. I can't imagine doing that to my child. My second kid has it even easier since her older sister came out first. Yes I have 2 for 2. Let your Dad grieve. He loves you and he's trying. No one is the a**hole here.
Op knew her dad was disgusting and emotionally abuse I’ve so she leaves her child with this abusive man? Wtf is wrong with OP? You put your child in danger, be angry at yourself.
Tell your family what your dad tryed to do.
Wow.....😳
Story 1 horrible mother when she knows how her father was still she let her daughter to be with then even seeing her sad n didn't have conversations about it make me cringe. Like how
Dead name dad- Just start introducing him as your gay dad, and say he is just still shy about still. Say your mom knows and the "relationship" is for the kids. Say you'll stop lying about him when he stops lying about you.
What!!! You exposed her to your by your own admittance ABUSER !!! YTA
I hope this is a troll
wtf? regarding the roommate story... we do not have the right to force others to live under our conditions. being a friend is one thing, being a room mate is quite another. those parents are terrible people. they should have helped him through this heartbreak and got him to empathize maybe apologize, not call that poor person names and scream at them... at the least they should have asked op's side of the story. really op cannot help their sleep disorder any more than he can help his autism.
I supported OP until she required her parents to get therapy
She didn't say the therapy was for her parents, but rather for her daughter and herself.
I would do a Facebook post telling my side of the story. Next I would ask if they would be okay if the dad forced their kids to undergo totally unnecessary surgery. Would they be okay if complications arose and their kid ends up a vegetable for the rest of their lives? Would they be okay if dad decides to force their kid to have a sex change because he believes they should be the opposite sex?
Dad probably painted himself as the victim who was only trying to help granddaughter.
Maybe its just taking time for your father to let go of his son. At least mostly hes on your side, remember to appreciate that. It may not be something he means to do or realizes. Try talking to him but YTA for just rudely walking away
Also start worrying more about your kid than covering for works problems .
Is this part or your job and celery.
If not than Don't do it anymore!!!!!!
Most people like to think things aren't really so bad. You just learned the opposite. It is still very hard to get your head around the truth of the matter. This is normal, so don't beat yourself up for giving them the chance. You may need therapy to learn how to better deal with lifes difficulties. We learn how to handle things in life from our parents, sometimes sadly it is all wrong.
My dad was a mess, bullied from childhood, he chose negative coping methods. The big thing I learned, he would never apologise or say sorry, he thought that would make him look weak. He would think about what he did, long enough, to change everything in his own mind, then he got cranky with mum and his 8 kids, because we knew better, and would not agree, that he was the good guy, as per his fiction. He was never diagnosed, he would never accept there was anything wrong with him, he was a genious in his own mind. He actually was dictatorial, paranoid, and abusive. Would you put a rope around a 2 year old's neck as a joke? Would you hit the closest, when angry with somebody else. He was also cranky when even he could not meet his ridiculously high standards. Never said well done, because we wouldn't try so hard next time. People voted with their feet, as did we once we were old enough. Your family is just sad, tricked into believing him, but even worse, dangerous to others, if they carry out his plans. Learn about how to protect yourself and yours. Even if you have to move and not say where.
I am sure your daughter is beautiful and the size she is meant to be. If we all looked the same, we would have so much trouble finding the one we need to talk to.
Look up a song by "3 Dog Night- called Black and white," it demonstrates, that we need each other, just as we are. All the best for now and in times to come.
Story 2
Ii am so sorry your father is having this problem your father needs to accept you are his daughter not his son and you reacted well considering the situation and I sorry your father needs therapy not you
Maybe I missed it, but does anyone know how old the daughter was when the grandfather wanted doctors to change her skin color and force her to lose weight?
Inquiring about weight loss surgery for a CHILD? WTactualF? I had weight loss surgery in 2008, as an adult. I needed to have it due to myriad health conditions and consider it a success. I lost 130 pounds and have maintained it and have already lived longer than I was told I would. But it was SO HARD, painful and long term effects.
There is absolutely no way that the procedure should even be considered. Grandpa is a complete dick! And don’t get me started on the skin thing.
Her dad sounds just like my mother. 😖
Story 2: my 2nd oldest is a transman and we don’t dead name him. He still likes the nickname his sister gave him when she was little because she couldn’t say his name.
His new name is one of my ancestors so it’s not hard to remember. I’m slowly getting use to the new name my son uses.
I normally just say they’re my 2nd oldest not using daughter or son. I tend to use non gender pronouns for him
Story 1: no sympathy for op. She willingly exposed her mixed race child to a known racist.
With the story of misgendering, a friend of mines dad used to do that. I started calling him Elizabeth and when he said why I said that's the name I decided to give to you. He asked me why I'm giving him a female name. I said why are you giving your daughter a male one. Suddenly it clicked.
How old is the kid in story 1?
Dudes an isiot, the names spanish the family is most likely hidpanic which by any logical definition is white (europian decended) “nit same eace” hispanic isnt a race its a people most often part europian paet natuve american some mix race some one or the other some asians aswell but by the name most likely autelio is European decended atleast partialy
Spell check please
Story 2.Your father had two sons.
Do you take into
Consideration his feelings? Maybe he can't cope feeling that he is to blame for your pain and suffering .
Stop making it all about you and get into family therapy.
Your father was in an awkward position and wasn't sure how to explain that his son is now his daughter. So got around a long explanation by introducing the female standing beside him as his son .If you wanted to correct his statement you could've. Or did you think your father should stand there explaining your transition to people that knew he had 2 sons originally in front of you.
It's not he doesn't love you or accept you.
Try walking in his shoes.
Congratulations on your reassignment.. I have 4 trans friends and mainly their families were supportive although not always totally understanding.
We can tell people that we are in pain but can't truly expect them to know how that pain feels as it is
different for each of us.
That guy will only have more problems everywhere he goes because his parents allowed, encouraged or let him get into such rigid routines. Heaven forfend he gets sick in the night and a light gets turned on, or If he's living wth the parents and either gets old and unwell. As adults we all get to make our own decisions which suit our needs and wants, if others disagree, they should be mature enough to respect our right to make those decisions. Particularly if they want their own choices respected. The parents cannot expect everyone they meet to fit in with their son's restrictions, they all spat the dummy(pacifier), when you voted with your feet, you are more mature than all of them on this one. I shudder to think if he found a girl crazy enough to put up with all this... would he expect a baby to always sleep through the night, and It's mum to change nappies/diapers, feed the bub, in the dark, and around his set meals, how would that work with the crying? I am often awake all night myself. All the best to you.
Do transgenders think of how much it hurts their parents, that their son is no longer a son but a girl? So many families look forward to the 1st child being a boy, and now the boy no longer wants to be a boy.
Sometimes it seems that acceptance is supposed to be immediately by family members.
I'm still having issues that my best male military friend is no longer a male. EYES don't change, I still see HIM in his eyes, not HER as I don't know her. It just seems like HIM in drag... and this transition has been years now.
I cannot understand my niece who says she is gender fluid, that makes no sense to me, fluidity of flow is one direction, rivers don't flow both ways, imo. One minute she is dating females, the next males. To me it's just greedy want my cake and eat it too and wishy washy.
Now slam me if you want, but that's my opinion. My brain is hard wired, boys and girl, male abd female...
How is it greedy for a person to be what they are most comfortable as in terms of gender and sexuality? This is something they struggle with for years. It's not just about them deciding they want to be something different. It's about them becoming who they feel they need to be in order to be happy with who they are as a person.
Okay I only read the first few lines, and it just is misogynistic as fuck. "Oh no, the valuable boy will become a girl, what a loss"
Your brain is "hard wired" to be cig hers is "hard wired" to be fluid. It's not that hard to understand my dude. SMH
The trans story op is the ahole you're farther loves you so much that he doesn't hid you from his friends and you fail to see that he will always see his son as that is what was burnt into his heart for years before you're transition but by trying to introduce you to his friends he was showing you that he is not afraid to stand beside you and you through it back in his face
How is he not afraid to stand behind her? He can't even introduce her, he introduces someone that is dead.
@@laerramarie2620 because he DID TRY TO INTRODUCE OP HE DIDN'T TRY TO HID THE FACT THAT THEY WERE RELATED but we are being told to just think about op's feeling and never think about the person who raised op and loved op EVERYONE HAS FEELINGS AND MAKES MISTAKES if you have spent a couple of decades doing something it will take a long time to change you automatic responses
@@andrewrowe8768 Because someone's identity is no one else's business and therefore, they have no business to be upset about it and try to cover it up.
You are the soul that your parents created. They made you. Stop insulting them by calling it a dead name to them. Not everything revolves around your feelings. Your parents feelings matter equally as much as yours do.
It is HER identity. This is not about her parents, how can it be? Imagine saying discrimination is okay because the world doesn't revolve around the victim's feeling💀
Why are your stories so long winded?
She seems to rewrite everything to suit her bid to be a writer and embroiders the narrative to impress the subcribers.
It just always sounded to me like she was including all the updates. Just not announcing update 1 update 2 update 8
Agelica yes thats what is happening