I had to comment on this video because I feel the exact same feelings you are. I also never thought I would live beyond high school. But im 28 now and I'm still here. I have always been criticized for being fat, gay, asian, being too dark skinned, not fitting conventional beauty standards which then got me negative treatment by people, and for also never finding a purpose to my life... however all I want to do is to live a simple and comfortable life. Because I was never given that. So I like that my purpose right now is going to work, eat good food, and play video games. People may find that boring but I'm so grateful for my life being boring because i would constantly keep living in a chaotic and traumatic life. It's nice to have a boring life. And im okay with my life not being more than that.
My experience is slightly similar. I mean, I do have plans for the future, but they're almost never time specific - it's more like a free-form bucket list that I occasionally cross stuff off of. I wonder if it's because of my ADHD
I Minu! I've long had the approach that life is essentially pointless. The "best" thing I can do is make life less painful for other people. I'm usually not up to my best, so I just try to not make others' lives worse! In the mean time I just try to stay interested and entertained. We're like cats!
Also re: engagement -- annoyingly, when I search for "Minu" in youtube, because I feel like it's been a minute since I've seen a video, this channel doesn't show up in the top few rows, even though I'm subscribed!
@melonaise yeah the algorithm does NOT like me! 🤣 which is why o struggled with naming the new channel. Also all my videos are demonitized for the first few days they are up until they get reviewed so that restricts me too.
I definitely agree. I can't control others lives but I can give genuine compliments and say nice things to them. I feel like you get what you put out, so if u are consistently kind, people will be kind to you. It works sometimes. 😅 Whenever I'm asked to draw myself as an animal, I always think black cat cuz I don't need a lot but naps, food, and entertainment
Looking forward to the new horror content. I have been thinking about doing a TH-cam channel because of your channel just to share and process thoughts because of your videos. But honestly having a grand purpose always felt like something that exists in movies for the sake of a good plot but not for living real everyday existence. Not sure if that made sense. But I always got told I didn't have enough drive but I just want to read my books in peace.
I can relate to this. I also never really thought about having a higher purpose. I’m just doing what I can. There are things I want to do, like publish a book. But I’m not doing it for fame or fortune or anything like that. I’m doing it so I can say to myself that I did it. And even when it comes to the majors I studied in undergrad and grad school, I did have interest in what I studied, but I more so wanted to go into them bc I thought they were practical to go into.
I'm not sure having a "purpose" (not sure if I fully believe in the concept anyway) is a privilege thing (but getting to do it might be) because I have known since I was a little kid what I'm here to do (again, not sure if I believe in this stuff but it always has just felt like this to me, like an inner knowing, something I didn't even really choose but that just seems natural to me). And I grew up in chaos, poverty and with lots of abuse and struggle. Also with no real support and I still am in this fight to try to get out of all this suffering. I now am chronically ill, a lot of normal things are not possible for me or really big hurdles and just existing is difficult and exhausting. I also still have almost no support (never have had that really), have cut contact with most of my family (due to abuse) and also I am autistic so I have a lot of difficulties that most people do not. My life has been pretty awful when looked at objectively and I have just been trying to survive and somehow get to a point where not everything is suffering. But despite all this I always have had this pull to what I feel like is to be my contribution here. Despite everything it has never left me even though I purposefully mostly turned away from actively doing stuff related to that because I thought it was the responsible thing to do, that I had to get my life in order first (that didn't work out). And that makes it kind of worse because the impulse is still there, pulling at me, it never goes away. At times I felt it would be easier if I could just give up but this thing always comes back up and it feels like, I can't leave till I haven't done my part. I don't even believe in any sort of "purpose" as a concept really but I just always had this strong feeling to what I should be doing. Although it is also what I want to do and what makes me happy, it seems to go beyond just enjoyment and also feels kind of like a duty and a task I'm meant to accomplish and like it's not really about me but about the thing I'm doing - I can get really lost in that. But that last part is also just a thing that happens when I do stuff and get really focused which might just be an autistic thing... so I don't know. I have noticed so far, that ignoring this pull seems to be the very thing that not only makes me unhappy but sicker everyday I push it away from me.
Thank you so much for sharing. Im sorry you went through all that you did. But it seems like you have been on a path of healing, which is a big accomplishment. I think it's great that u have that pull towards something greater and that following it feels good and natural. 😊
@@authentically_minu thank you for your kind response (and for reading all of that in the first place). You are right that I am on a path of healing. I have been for a very long time and it has been a very slow process but I feel like it is just picking up in speed recently, so there is hope. Yes, it does feel good to follow this pull (when I've let myself) but I have felt like I can't because I am not fulfilling my function in society and what is expected of me so it feels like I'm not allowed to. But that has not led me anywhere really. So I wonder now, what would have happened, if I had followed my own path and tried to do something with this. I have been told that I am talented in this area but I have always had trouble believing this due to being mistreated from a very young age so I was never brave enough to try to do something with it. If I had, maybe I would have been in a way better position in life by now and not so sick and exhausted due to trying to do other stuff that I am just not cut out for. I have just recently learned that I am autistic and why so many things don't work for me the way they do for others. So much makes sense now. I'm trying to get support for that but there are not that many resources but it is a start at least and who knows where things can go from there.
I hope that all of this didn't come of in a too negative way, I just wanted to give some context and answer your question because you asked how we feel about this. But I also wanted to say, that I do kind of feel grateful to have this pull (even if it is at times also a bit much) because I think it has gotten me through a lot of the awful stuff as a kid because I would work on my projects for hours and could feel at least some happiness and fulfilment. I do however not think, that everyone has to have something like this that they feel like is the thing they should do in life. I think many people don't and are perfectly fine so I don't think it is unusual or something one must seek out. And especially if you've had such a difficult upbringing and many challenges I think it is definitely valid to strive for a save and stable environment first and foremost and to "just" be happy and healthy, which is difficult enough.
![เปิด อาณาจักร หมื่นล้าน "สาระตั้ม" l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3XE0nPF4YkQ/mqdefault.jpg)
When i found out i didnt have to have a funeral! Dood! The relief i felt like....i can just die! No one ever needs to know!
Lol. I feel that. Like donate my body to science and let it ride.
I had to comment on this video because I feel the exact same feelings you are. I also never thought I would live beyond high school. But im 28 now and I'm still here.
I have always been criticized for being fat, gay, asian, being too dark skinned, not fitting conventional beauty standards which then got me negative treatment by people, and for also never finding a purpose to my life... however all I want to do is to live a simple and comfortable life. Because I was never given that. So I like that my purpose right now is going to work, eat good food, and play video games. People may find that boring but I'm so grateful for my life being boring because i would constantly keep living in a chaotic and traumatic life. It's nice to have a boring life. And im okay with my life not being more than that.
Exactly! We just want peace. I don't need chaos to be happy.
My experience is slightly similar. I mean, I do have plans for the future, but they're almost never time specific - it's more like a free-form bucket list that I occasionally cross stuff off of. I wonder if it's because of my ADHD
Could be!
I Minu! I've long had the approach that life is essentially pointless. The "best" thing I can do is make life less painful for other people. I'm usually not up to my best, so I just try to not make others' lives worse! In the mean time I just try to stay interested and entertained. We're like cats!
Also re: engagement -- annoyingly, when I search for "Minu" in youtube, because I feel like it's been a minute since I've seen a video, this channel doesn't show up in the top few rows, even though I'm subscribed!
@melonaise yeah the algorithm does NOT like me! 🤣 which is why o struggled with naming the new channel.
Also all my videos are demonitized for the first few days they are up until they get reviewed so that restricts me too.
I definitely agree. I can't control others lives but I can give genuine compliments and say nice things to them. I feel like you get what you put out, so if u are consistently kind, people will be kind to you.
It works sometimes. 😅
Whenever I'm asked to draw myself as an animal, I always think black cat cuz I don't need a lot but naps, food, and entertainment
Looking forward to the new horror content. I have been thinking about doing a TH-cam channel because of your channel just to share and process thoughts because of your videos.
But honestly having a grand purpose always felt like something that exists in movies for the sake of a good plot but not for living real everyday existence. Not sure if that made sense. But I always got told I didn't have enough drive but I just want to read my books in peace.
I feel you. It definitely feels like an interesting movie/show. But in real life we are boring.
I can relate to this. I also never really thought about having a higher purpose. I’m just doing what I can. There are things I want to do, like publish a book. But I’m not doing it for fame or fortune or anything like that. I’m doing it so I can say to myself that I did it. And even when it comes to the majors I studied in undergrad and grad school, I did have interest in what I studied, but I more so wanted to go into them bc I thought they were practical to go into.
I feel you on that. No one wanted me to get a history degree, but I loved it.
I'm not sure having a "purpose" (not sure if I fully believe in the concept anyway) is a privilege thing (but getting to do it might be) because I have known since I was a little kid what I'm here to do (again, not sure if I believe in this stuff but it always has just felt like this to me, like an inner knowing, something I didn't even really choose but that just seems natural to me). And I grew up in chaos, poverty and with lots of abuse and struggle. Also with no real support and I still am in this fight to try to get out of all this suffering. I now am chronically ill, a lot of normal things are not possible for me or really big hurdles and just existing is difficult and exhausting. I also still have almost no support (never have had that really), have cut contact with most of my family (due to abuse) and also I am autistic so I have a lot of difficulties that most people do not.
My life has been pretty awful when looked at objectively and I have just been trying to survive and somehow get to a point where not everything is suffering. But despite all this I always have had this pull to what I feel like is to be my contribution here. Despite everything it has never left me even though I purposefully mostly turned away from actively doing stuff related to that because I thought it was the responsible thing to do, that I had to get my life in order first (that didn't work out). And that makes it kind of worse because the impulse is still there, pulling at me, it never goes away.
At times I felt it would be easier if I could just give up but this thing always comes back up and it feels like, I can't leave till I haven't done my part. I don't even believe in any sort of "purpose" as a concept really but I just always had this strong feeling to what I should be doing. Although it is also what I want to do and what makes me happy, it seems to go beyond just enjoyment and also feels kind of like a duty and a task I'm meant to accomplish and like it's not really about me but about the thing I'm doing - I can get really lost in that. But that last part is also just a thing that happens when I do stuff and get really focused which might just be an autistic thing... so I don't know. I have noticed so far, that ignoring this pull seems to be the very thing that not only makes me unhappy but sicker everyday I push it away from me.
Thank you so much for sharing. Im sorry you went through all that you did. But it seems like you have been on a path of healing, which is a big accomplishment. I think it's great that u have that pull towards something greater and that following it feels good and natural. 😊
@@authentically_minu thank you for your kind response (and for reading all of that in the first place). You are right that I am on a path of healing. I have been for a very long time and it has been a very slow process but I feel like it is just picking up in speed recently, so there is hope. Yes, it does feel good to follow this pull (when I've let myself) but I have felt like I can't because I am not fulfilling my function in society and what is expected of me so it feels like I'm not allowed to. But that has not led me anywhere really.
So I wonder now, what would have happened, if I had followed my own path and tried to do something with this. I have been told that I am talented in this area but I have always had trouble believing this due to being mistreated from a very young age so I was never brave enough to try to do something with it. If I had, maybe I would have been in a way better position in life by now and not so sick and exhausted due to trying to do other stuff that I am just not cut out for. I have just recently learned that I am autistic and why so many things don't work for me the way they do for others. So much makes sense now. I'm trying to get support for that but there are not that many resources but it is a start at least and who knows where things can go from there.
I hope that all of this didn't come of in a too negative way, I just wanted to give some context and answer your question because you asked how we feel about this. But I also wanted to say, that I do kind of feel grateful to have this pull (even if it is at times also a bit much) because I think it has gotten me through a lot of the awful stuff as a kid because I would work on my projects for hours and could feel at least some happiness and fulfilment.
I do however not think, that everyone has to have something like this that they feel like is the thing they should do in life. I think many people don't and are perfectly fine so I don't think it is unusual or something one must seek out. And especially if you've had such a difficult upbringing and many challenges I think it is definitely valid to strive for a save and stable environment first and foremost and to "just" be happy and healthy, which is difficult enough.
@Nebula_Coffee no worries at all. Im happy to hear others' experiences and thoughts. It helps me grow.
@@authentically_minu that's great, that is also how I approach things :)