She still chose marriage!😭
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I love that you put the name thank you ❤️
Never knew this would be a movie I would be interested in. Thanks for the clip! ❤
#itsnotaboutyou
Thank you for including the title.
Well here’s the thing. As a Married Man I pushed both of my daughters to get an education or some kind of trade. A marriage is not a guarantee to be happy or safe. You won’t know if your Husband could change and become abusive, or if he loses his job or becomes crippled or if you become an early widow. What if I am not there to bail them out because I myself or my wife has died. They can be a SAHM but have a savings and a career on the side. Is like having health insurance, is not like you want to use it but to have as a “just in case” escenario. It has nothing to do with shaming anybody, but everything to do with being able to fend for yourself and your posible kids.
How about encouraging your daughters to marry good men, instead of using fear tactics!
@@victoriastewart8218good men fall sick and die every day unfortunately. And some people just never find a good partner. It’s not bad advice to have marketable skills no matter what your end goal is.
@@victoriastewart8218Are you from Earth? 🧐
@@victoriastewart8218 good men get cancer or have tragic accidents. Good men get sick. Good men work for companies that go under or lose their businesses. It is smart to have another way to support yourself and your family if anything happens. Good men can't do it all, and you should never rely on anyone else entirely if you can avoid it.
@@victoriastewart8218 grow up. Life happens to everyone. And being helpless is no way to prepare for the harsh realities of adulthood.
Feminism is about supporting ALL women, whether they want to be a SAHM or a career woman or childfree or whatever! We can't look down on each other, we must respect and uplift whatever someone chooses.
Exactly
Julia's character was doing just that. Shows that you didn't watch the movie and like talking out your ass
It was in the beginning not anymore. To many shame those that chose to stay home like we are less then. It’s treated more and more like the greatest shame a woman can do.
No, actually feminism is against family.
Not true.
She's right you can share your beliefs but don't force it on to others.
If only people believe that in real life, we wouldn’t be in the political situation we’re in.
whoosh
@@booradlly and what does that mean
The other person wasn't understanding her message however. You can do both. She could have still gotten married and been a lawyer. She doesn't have to just sit at home staring at the walls until the husband comes home, She could have spent that time following her passion. If she wanted to have and raise children, then she can stay home once they're born. Becoming a lawyer doesn't mean you are suddenly a slave and aren't allowed to quit or take a leave of absence. I would be upset too if my friend gave up on one of their two passions in life because they refused to realize they could have both of them.
@@SircoleYT
exactly
There is something to be said in being cautious. Finishing your degree can help ensure that if your husband is not the man you thought, you can escape. A backup plan is never a bad idea.
yes..but many women invest in their appearance, not in themselves
Yeah but women get slapped with a penalty of being out of the workplace for so long, that either no one will hire, or they'll severely underpay her
@@RedNymph234
That's actually true.
Is there not tlassotiations or a systeme build by women to help them get a job if she has a degre . Even if not she still have a chance to get a job @@RedNymph234
I have seen too many times women staying at home, usually convinced to do so by husbands, and then 20-30 years later they chëat on them, abûse them, or dūmp them for someone decades younger… either you’re trapped or left with nothing, and you can’t even get custody of your own kids you spent all your time raising bc you don’t have any $ for a lawyer…
It hūrts no one but yourself to not have some kind of employment going. You never know what can or will happen. Rely on yourself, always.
My grandmother (born 1917) always told my mother, my sister, and myself to make sure that we’re college educated with a career. It was her one regret in life. She told us how lucky she was to have found a man that actually loved and adored her. My grandfather worshipped the ground she walked on and promised her he was going to be successful and make sure she would never have to work, clean, or cook if she didn’t wish to. He kept his promise as a geologist and found oil fields. My grandmother witnessed what happened to her friends who married less than dedicated men and warned us to ensure we have a degree/career to fall back on.
Why wouldn’t the advice to be to marry the proper man? It seems silly to spend 4-10 years ensuring you have a “back up plan” for a failed marriage when you could instead.. find a proper person and put in the work to keep the marriage alive and healthy.
She's a wise woman!
@@JudethehopelessSometimes people don't show their true colours for a while. Humans can be very deceptive and charming.
@@Judethehopeless oh, honey… it’s called narcissists and psychopaths. They exist amongst us. Cheers! 🥂
@@Judethehopelessbecause putting all of your trust into another human is foolish.
It's about choice. Respect other's choices as long as they don't interfere with yours. Too many people need to understand that's the right way to live.
That’s what’s great about America 🇺🇸 🙌🏼. Free do whatever you want as long as you don’t hinder others freedoms. 👀🎼😁
@@jamesfisher9730 Too many people try to push that.
Yes. Respect for other people's ideas!
Problem with that is the brainwashing into thinking not being a proper housewife and mother is the only "choice" a wife and mother is the greatest feat a woman should strive for and yet it's demonized now
Im a life single , and i worked with moms ...who had me cover their shifts , work holidays etc because I didn't have a family.
I finally said no. How dare you
I was a sahm with 6 children. I was well provided for and when the oldest was 13 I found out their father was cheating with multiple women. I had wanted to go back to school to master in English. I'm a writer and that really would've helped. I'm 60. The kids are all healthy, wealthy and wise. I'm still writing. I have had really interesting jobs over the years. I like what I do now and live well.
The problem is what happens to all women who can't get back on their feets, are trapped with an abusive partner etc.
I'm so happy for you. And I would like to be a writer too.
@@Emma-hf4zf write. Just write. I have not enough time for novels but I write short stories. I pack a wallop in a short story. Also songs and many sayings, poems and dittys. Just write. Find what works. If it's always in and on ur ❤️? It's meant to be there. I pray God helps u find the time, the means and the sticktoativeness to write. 💞🌷💞🌷💞🌷💞
I hope you have no regrets. Your kids turned out well.
How do you begin writing, I have so many ideas and not sure how to start?
You _can_ choose anything. But people who care about you want you to have _options._ Even if you choose to be a homemaker, it is still better to have education and be able to support yourself. Even if your marriage is as glitter-pink perfect as you expect it to be, your husband can still get sick, injured or die. And now you're left with no income and mouths to feed.
It is always better to have options.
But she already has a Bachelors degree. And in the 50’s that went a lot further.
100% truth.
She's not giving up her options. She's only giving up 1 option. She's choosing her priorities. She still has an education, just not a law degree. Raising children is more important to her than being a career woman. Nothing wrong with that.
Those options dwindle when you're out of the workforce for decades. But you can pursue that option later in life. Save your money, raise your kids and deal with what comes.
That's why a good husband provides an allowance
I did both. I wish i would have done more to further my career. It bites you in the butt when you sacrifice and you find out the other is cheating. Just do what you want to do. No one puts you in a box.
Your kids cheat on you?
If you would have e chased a career you probably would have regretted it spending more time with your kids.. that’s life
That’s YOUR experience hun. I empathize for you, I really do. So many are in this situation… but not everyone. There are experiences very different to yours as well. You don’t represent everyone.
@@Lolee56that "YOUR" experience of theirs is a very common experience.
@@Lolee56she is clearly not stating her experience represents everyone. Her overall message seems to be to do what you want to in life, and not let the disapproval of others stop you.Personally I feel that firstly you should always try to be considerate and honest in how you move. But after that if you aren’t hurting others, yes you DO need to remember when it comes to a partner at least that you are alone in this life in the end. You will be the only one left holding the regret if you choose to hold back for them.
Absolutely! Not every woman aspires to have a career. Some women actually want and aspire for a family, a home, a loving husband and to be the core of what keeps it all loved and cared for. A homemaker isn’t any less than a woman who has a career. What a excellent way of explaining who, what and why she chose to be a homemaker over a career ❤
I haven’t seen the movie, only heard what it’s about, but her husband isn’t so loving, is he?
There is some truth about what Julia Roberts is saying - if you have the time to get educated please do. However, even when I was pushed to get married due to parents that wanted them to gain benefits for my US Citizenship to sell me to the man who was sitting at my sofa. I told her I want to finish HS and eventually work due to the complication of not wanting to marry a total stranger in not knowing if I will continue to be poor or worse bring children into the world for them to suffer due to lack of financial support- I refused and even though I question my motive but even a HS diploma helped me get a job to help my parents but also helped me too. However, I waited until I ws 28 to move away and get an apartment so I could have a life. Eventually I got married and had my children. The problem is parents kept seeking help all the time which is why I am still working at 77. I do regret not telling my parents to get a damn JOB! So I wouldn't continue to support a bunch of deadbeats.
I did both.
Not a demanding career but a stable job in finance. I stopped when i had each of my 3 kids for about 2-3 years each and then slowly eased back into the workforce. It was challenging but my kids came first. If they were ill or just having an off day, I called in sick and stayed with them.
Sometimes in the dead of winter we all had a PJ day with dad too and watched movies and ate delicious food.
Now they are teenagers and rarely home or rarely polite ha but thats this phase of the job.
I still have my work and I'm glad i kept it. My kids will leave our home before I am ready, my marriage is on life support until then when the plug will be pulled
It was beautiful when it was good for all those years but nothing lasts forever.
So ...keep your options open. If i hadn't have done that, I'd now be starting from scratch in the market and only be considered for low paying jobs.
My hard work at home pays off in different ways but not financially.
You likely will eventually be on your own again. Make smart choices ladies
Wishing you peace and joy in the journey ahead.
May I ask what ‘stable job in finance’ allowed you to pop in and out over the course of 10 years and 3 kids? I am really curious which field so I can too
Was it professionally hard to leave and re enter the work force?
As long as you have parents that want the best for you - and children will eventually move on to have their own life. So keep that job until you decide to have a family but that education which gets you a job - hold on to it too.
Thank you for that!
It’s more than making a choice. Julia’s character was trying to get these women to understand that they had multiple choices when society told them repeatedly they only had one option, to get married. Choosing to be a SAHM is not a bad choice. Just like choosing to never have kids or get married isn’t a bad choice. But understanding that you have options is the main point here. Julia’s character was a feminist and was happy for her students to be married but also wanted them to understand that they can use their degrees too.
I’m 70 years old. Been there done it all. You cannot actually have it all. Everyone can do it for a little while but you can’t do your best if you’re spread so thin. Somebody will suffer whether it’s you, your family or your career. Do what will give you the most satisfaction, joy, achievement. But realize the top priority and understand what you are giving up. No regrets is the better way but with your eyes all the way open.
❤
I wish more young women would listen to seasoned women. Thank you for your wisdom! ♥️
Amen!
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Amen!
I wanted to go to medical school.
I was raised to be the mother. My family is two thousand miles away now and i spend every day in my house alone.
I wish i had gone to medical school.
So, what is stopping you now?
@@tinydancer7426 I'm way old
One of my English professors was a bored housewife so she went to school and became an English professor. Maybe it’s not too late. My teacher was in her 60s and had grey hair
@@user-ii3vn8tn3q I'm 73. If I was intent on going back to school to finish getting a degree, my age would not stop me. If it meant being in school for two or three years, sure, I would be 76 when I graduate. But, if I didn't do it, I would still be 76 in three years. But ..... that is not what I want to do in my retirement years. I might take a course or two in subjects I am interested in, but not for a grade, just personal interest.
@@marlengonzalez877Do you understand the difference between medical school and getting a degree in English?
Medical school is over a decade long if you want to do it right and it is gruelling. You don't get enough time to sleep. The shifts are long and erratic. I have friends who work in the ER and while they make good money, they don't have a regular everyday job.
Medicine is a young person's field. Good luck being old and ensuring a medical college accepts you. They are not exactly hankering for new students. It's tough to get in.
Gen X here. 54, never married, and happily child-free by choice and single. I support other people's lives and their decisions. ❤ 😊
I should've chosen not to have children... they can be so ungrateful. Having them was a huge sacrifice 😢
@@KathytheMama777 Partly because I did spoil them to cover up the struggle... thanks for your comment
@@StaceyPalmer-uc5qj You're not alone in those feelings. I'm sure you're doing a great job, even if the kids don't recognize it, and I hope you find peace with yourself.
@@StaceyPalmer-uc5qjI know the feeling. I sacrificed so much for my kids, my oldest child the most, and now that she’s 20 years old and my son is 19 they are the most ungrateful, rude, hateful children. It hurts me all the time.
@@KathytheMama777it hasn’t got a thing to do with how they were raised. Well, sometimes I suppose it does but not always. Money changed my children, and tragedy. Don’t speak on situations you know nothing about.
I just love this movie. It shows BOTH sides.
There are some women that this is their wish! They want to stay at home and raise children….who cares about a career. And there are some who want a life long career.
It is no ones business what you choose. I love how this move showed both sides and desires. And showed them as equally smart and intelligent.
What’s the name of the movie
I believe it's Mona Lisa Smiles
There are no sides. Feminism isn't some false binary of being a career woman vs a SAHM. That's just scaremongering and misogyny that men use to condition young women into thinking they have to choose (and these men want you to always pick the SAHM). Men as a whole, as a gender, are not expected to choose from this false binary. They can just exist, to have a career, or a family, or both. Why can't we women just be allowed to be...human?
It shows more than both sides - it shows several, like where Betty’s supposedly happy marriage falls apart and she is hosed.
Might want to check out Revolutionary Road as well.
The thing is with a career there is usually growth and longevity.
Raising children doesn't have that. You put the hard work in 1st then slowly release the reigns.
It depends what a woman is cut out for if she feels happy and successful with her choice.
Well, my sister studied very hard, was school topper and university second rank holder. She had yo take loan for her studies and paid them back in a record time of 2 yrs within her job.
But then, she got married and decided to be stay at home mom... Now, after 5 yrs of having a kid, her husband looks down on her... I feel she would have been happier of she were still pursuing her job and share the household chores equally with her husband.
She is being taken for granted almost mentally abused...and with 0 income, she has no where to go.
An Indian right? Fellow Indian here.
Stay at home mom's are as respected here as much as working women. Society looks down on both and sometimes rarely respect both. We get judged for everything. And beating women ... perfectly normal.
And don't forget, we can't work but we have to bring in lots of dowry. Duckin tradition and hypocrites. Lmao money rules most of the times but people love to say it isn't like that.
In India you can't be a woman with zero income. You have to, you must work.
There are too many abused married woman around us to want to get married without a financial support.
You can talk shit about me if I am a career woman, I don't care. Because I have a footing of my own. But what do I get for just being somebody's wife? Nothing other than humiliation. So, no thank you.
If you are wealthy and staying at home works for you because you have a healthy family kudos. But leaving a job to get married. Nope.
@@mowgli7_ you go girl. Women will only be respected in healthy families and you will be lucky to come across those. Marriage is a gamble and almost always women have to carry blame.
Men's rights activist yell about laws being biased and all but fact is society is still against women. Society still support women getting beaten up.
Oh and the biggest irony. You have to pay duckin dowry. Imagine parents spend money on education, bringing you upto adulthoof and you have to pay money for her to get married and she isn't part of her birth family anymore.
I see no surprise girl babies weren't preferred not too long ago
That just means she chose a partner poorly. Unfortunately.
@@kristina1818 this is the case of India's majority women. This is the mindset of majority Indian men.
And then there are those of us who sacrificed our careers to raise a family and support our husbands only to find out he was cheating the whole time. We got divorced and he remarried multiple times and kept getting divorced. I wish I had chosen a career and avoided all that pain.
Do you wish your children didn’t exist? Because that’s what you’re saying. My mother told me over and over how she should’ve gone to school instead of having me. I tied her to my dad, and she hates him. I grew up believing if I never existed my mother’s life would be better.
Really think about what you’re saying
Workplaces cheat too. They overwork and underpay, they “ divorce “ older women workers for younger workers who can be paid less. Happens all the time.
@@nicoleterry5105She never said she regretted her children, she said she regretted staying with a man who didn't value her.
@@nicoleterry5105She didn't say that at all, you completely misses the point. Also not every mother thinks like that and can do both. It's horrible she told you that.
@@nicoleterry5105it’s not all or nothing, stop putting words into peoples mouths! I’m sorry your mom treated you the way she did, that’s where your anger is coming from.
Her children were probably the only good thing to come out of her marriage.
I'm young, I'm not even thirty. I think women should chose whatever they wish but please know that you should always always keep your independence. It's sad to say, but in this life the only person you can rely on is you. And as much as I want one day to have children and raise them myself I also have to know that for my sake, and even for the sake of my children, I have to have a job, money, possessions, a retirement plan, etc. I cannot put my entire existence and that of my children on a man. It's not fair for anyone involved.
This is insane rhetoric and why white women are divorcing in the highest numbers. I as a black girl will be happy to stop being forced to work for capitalist pig.
Well said! My mom homeschooled me when I was young, but eventually she had to split from my dad because of his rampant alcoholism. Because she had a degree and some work experience pre-me, she was able to work full time while I went to school and all was ok. She was still a fabulous mother even while working full time and taking care of me single handedly (I was 10 at the time). My dad eventually kicked the addiction and our family was able to slowly get back together, now she homeschools my little brother while managing her own business and our family has never been more functional.
All that to say, you’re exactly right. Always have a backup plan, but also there’s no need give up on being a SAHM if that’s something you want:)
Marriage is a partner ship, if he makes money, you guys are suppose to plan for both retirement..so sad people nowadays
@@yvonne6629 you are right but people change and you know that!
I always wanted to be a nurse. I studied to be an RN, and a Midwife, before I married at twenty-six. Not only that, but I knew from my mother's hardship with five children. I love my job, after my husband died, it has been a life-saving profession.
for context, she sacrificed going to law school because her married friend convinced her that having a husband is what makes a woman happy, her teacher (the one in the video) was trying to convince her that she can have both, she doesn't have to sacrifice either.
It´s not a sacrifice when it´s a choice. She decided NOT to go. Huge difference. She decided she rather be a stay at home mom than a working mom. And her teacher was being judgemental. We need to stop looking down on stay at home moms, seriously.
@@charlottemadadi. It WAS a sacrifice. The lady's choice was not informed and she was actually pressured by her friend AND HER HUSBAND to give up being a lawyer WHICH SHE WANTED because they manipulated her into believing that she can't have both a career and be a mother. Later on her husband cheats on her and because she gave up her education, she doesn't have anything to fall back on and pick herself back up.
@@charlottemadadi. The teacher is saying it doesn't have to be all or nothing, one or the other. She CAN pursue both. And as a personal aside, it's much safer having an education/career even if you want to be a stay at home mom JUST IN CASE your husband suddenly can't work or dies or cheats and leaves you.
@@rebecca4680 That´s your opinion. You see it as a sacrifice. A sacrifice is to not do something although you want to do it. If you make a choice where you´re at peace with, it´s not a sacrifice.
@@charlottemadadi . Until that 'choice' later bites you in the back and you realize how much of a sacrifice it was. Tragedies happen, life happens, and it's good to be prepared with an education to fall back on in case things take a wrong turn. You can choose to be a SAHM without sacrificing your education so you have a backup. Choosing to give up on your education is still a sacrifice, just one that the person was willing to make.
I have watched far too many women sacrifice themselves for their family and have it backfire. Tragedy strikes in one fashion or another. Being a stay at home mom is a blessing, but I would definitely recommend making sure you have the skillset to support yourself if a tragedy ever arises.
You could reverse this argument what if you sacrifice and study for a career that gets shipped over seas or taken over by AI. Or you can’t ever get out of debt from student loans. Making it near impossible to start a family. And now you don’t even have children or a spouse. It’s silly to live out of fear of what could happen.
@@antonia6059both are possible, so why push only one narrative onto women? Let them choose
It’s not a sacrifice for many women. We gladly choose it and are there for all of the important moments & firsts in our children’s lives. Most of the women I know stayed home & raised their children & are blessed they were able to do so.
I have never seen this. I barely know any women who actually sacrifice themselves for their families to begin with. The ones that are, are the happiest people I know.
@@molly5262 do most of the women you know live in the US? because it is extremely difficult to support a household on one income these days, even if one parent wants to stay home
My grandmother insisted that my dad would agree my mom would finish her college education before she would support my parents getting married. Dad promised that if someone had to drop out it would be him. Mom was in nursing school, dad was studying ag. Grandma became a widow at the age of 39, and had to figure out how to provide for her 4 children with 1 on the way with no education or training. She struggled even with a supportive mom and stepfather, and wanted mom to have something she could fall back on in case something happened to dad. They’ve been married for 44 years now, mom’s career has supported them through many a rough farming year.
You only regret not following your career path when your husband comes home one evening and says, "I don't want to be married to you anymore." That's when you realize that you sacrificed all you could be to make his dreams come true and now you're living in a nightmare with nothing but your children. 😢
Incidentally the girl he thought he wanted well it didn't pan out so my husband changed his mind and stayed. But after that I started taking college classes and ended up getting my dream job. I was no longer afraid to stand on my own no matter what he wanted to do. 😊
I hope you left him and got an std test. That man doesn't love you. You're just a placeholder for him until he can find someone "better" in his mind. Glad you got your schooling and dream job though.
@@saltycat662 Yes, I divorced him when I came to that realization myself. ❤️
Older men separating from their wives for young girls is what happens most often. That's why I feel sorry for these SAHW, one day they will probably regret it.
@@MaiPoirot What is SAHW?
@@aviendha3526stay at home wife
I choose to support without judgement. Every woman has her own journey. Experiences may be similar but they’re never the same. I choose to support every woman who does the best she can whether it means a sahm, a career, both, children or no children, married, a partner or single. Life can be tough no matter what we choose or what has been forced upon us. Somehow there are always sacrifices to be made. We do better together when we can empathize and show friendship and compassion. In my own life it was important to gain my degree and I’ve never regretted it. Things were forced upon me that changed my life but it’s made me who I am. Hopefully I’m able look at others with care at the struggles we all go through. I’m still standing. Life is good and it’s still worth it.
Love this ❤
I see both sides but the teacher is correct in saying “you can do both” and she didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want her to feel that was going to be the only option she had in the end. She is going and there is really no rush. At the same time, a home maker is still a beautiful thing. She can still find other ways to have options and still be there for her family.
No ..her family is her job that she is choosing..
She got accepted to Yale, and it was so sad hearing her husband say he's going to a different place so she can't have go to Yale because how would she have dinner on the table by 5 with a cross country commute and laughed. Imagine your fiance gets accepted to Yale and youre like nah honey I need you to cook my dinner by 5.
@@mordecaiissad8529I’d pick my husband over Yale…why is it only romantic, or seen as beautiful when a man sacrifices something he loves for a woman he loves more, but when a woman sacrificing something she loves for a man she loves more it’s seen as tragic?
@@nicoleterry5105 I wouldn't see it as romantic if the man did it either honestly.
But the tragedy of the scene for me personally wasn't just her giving up something so big for her husband, it was the husband talking about her dream as something so silly and laughable and less valuable than her making him dinner. He didn't value her sacrifice. people would be proud of their fiance getting accepted, early no less, to one of the most prestigious universities, even if they chose to give it up for them, show some appreciation of the sacrifice.
@@ninamarkovic4853it was an option, and clearly the wrong one since her husband cheated on hey in the movie.
Two of my friends lost their dads early. The mother of one of them had a job and a career. The other one was a homemaker and had to saddeningly find a source of income. As she had never worked, the only jobs available to her paid little.
Life is not a fairytale. There is no warranted "happily ever after". People get sick, and accidents happen. It is wise for a family to have two providers, two sources of income.
As a daughter of a working mom, I do not understand how people can perceive them as bad parents. She took great care of me and my siblings. She watched over us and was always there when we needed her. So no, you don't need to choose between family and having a job.
Life insurance it's every where
Ok that’s a choice your mom made. Some woman want to be stay at home moms
@@trex625and maybe it will last 10 years in todays economy but why have to struggle when you don’t need to and have that money as a plan b or just in case money. Just in case the car breaks down , just in case the house needs a new roof or other just in case moments
You totally MISSED the point Julia Styles' character was making by being even more obtuse than julia Roberts' character.
@@LouisAWheatJr no her character was doing what women where brainwashed to believe that good women go to college not for a degree but to get her Mrs. Julia Robert’s character wanted them to get that degree and do something with it and they can have the best of both worlds a college degree, a career and a family
no one ever expects men to choose between caring for a family and having a career. remember that.
That's because they have a wife to stay at home and do all of the work for them…
Some men choose to stay at home with the kids. My friend did, because his wife makes more money. I know it’s rare, but it happens.
Because biologically, a woman is more attuned to her kids. They've studied this extensively. A woman makes more oxytocin which makes her more nurturing. Did you know that when fathers stay home they begin to make more oxytocin but their testosterone suffers as a result? When sleeping, mothers wake more easily to baby's noises. The reverse is true for men. They don't wake easily to baby. They wake easily to odd noises, like rustling outside the window. It's fascinating.
Not to mention, it's a privilege for women to have a CHOICE. Men don't have that choice. Be happy women do. Chances are, if men are given a choice, and they choose SAHD, their wives will RESENT them. Because women are built to be with their children. ❤
@@saltandsrirachaAlways excuses to be a deadbeat
@@saltandsrirachaMy children would dispute this😂 They said I was a great coach, but amy real emotional/parental issues were taken to my husband.
Mona Lisa Smile. Good movie. I understand the professor explaining that women of the 1940s didn't have to have quit school while be married. Both were attainable. The university was basically a cover for teaching girls how to be housewives and mothers. One of the girls got married, left school (briefly), got cheated on, went back home only for her mother to tell her to suck it up. He's the man, blah, blah, blah. Julia Robert's character is older, educated, single and more forward thinking as far as women, society, and education. Good movie.
We need more movies like this. Too many young women are idealizing stay at home motherhood. I have been SAHM for a couple years and later chose to work outside the home as well. My husband is brilliant and a good man but the financial limitations of a single income really wore on us till I decided I’d be more useful to my kids outside rather than inside the home. In case you haven’t noticed, homes and every other basic is more expensive and good public schools are hard to come by. The early years (about 15y) of being mom and professional were hard on us as a couple but now that my kids are grown and doing beautifully on their own, I am so glad I didn’t fall for the apple pie nonsense. The power of corporations has made it harder and harder for single income households to afford a decent lifestyle and flourish. My job allowed me to add value to my family a mother, wife and daughter in a unique way and be strong role model. It was only a 150y ago when these choices were not even available and will not take much more than some influencers hyping up SAHM lifestyle and a vote to turn back the clock.
I’m Joan. I dropped out of medical school after 4 years because one day I woke up and realized that I didn’t want to slave away for others or the system. I wanted to build something that I wanted- a family. And I wanted to be there every step of the way.
Some women don’t want that life, and that’s OK. But I do and I love it.
You were going to be a doctor. That's saving lives.
And that's great! But the point is you don't HAVE to sacrifice a career to have a family or vise versa. You can do both IF that is what you want. Girl in the video literally said you HAVE to sacrifice family to have a job, which is straight up wrong. But if you want to focus only on one, go for it!
I asked my mom, who was single raising 2 daughters and working to provide for us, of she ever regretted anything in life or was unhappy with her life. Personally, I never felt like she wasn't there, I understand she worked to support us and I still got to see her and she'd buy me toys and play with me and teach me things. But when I asked her felt she said she wasn't unhappy with her life, she just sometimes wished she'd gone back to college and finish nursing school (I remember her going to college for a couple years when I was like 3.)
isn't med school only 4 years though?
@@littlekaren1551that’s in addition to college so it’s 8 years and if you specialize, like in cardiology for example, it’s 4 more years which is 12 years of schooling
It's true 🤷♀️ my mother is a lawyer. She often works from home. But because of that it's like I occasionally see her but she's ALWAYS working. There's no real interaction. She also yells at me to be quiet all the time cause she's on the phone. She never cooks or cleans, im always doing the cooking and cleaning for her. Never teaches me anything. She knows how to Sew but never taught me. I wish I had a real stay at home mom. All I ever hear her say is "I can't, I have to work."
This was my life growing up and it really took a toll on my sister and I.
I am sorry you are experiencing that. Just know her work puts food on the table and the roof over your head.
I want kids but my partner and I are both in the hustle years of our careers and we don’t have the time to devote to a child right now. We know it would be unfair to the child. Maybe in 5 years.
My mom was an entrepreneur running a family business out of our home for 15 years (my childhood/growing up years) and it was tough. I am the oldest of a lot of siblings and my mom’s resources of time, attention energy and money were stretched pretty thin. She tried to have it all and ran a household pretty well (more money would have helped) but she also worked really, really hard for many many years. She pursued a different career when I was a teenager and young adult (my siblings were younger). She is now retired in her 60s. She honestly earned her retirement (she also worked for her dad’s company before I was born.) Yes women can do both but something always gets neglected.
What about your dad, honey? Does he do the cooking and cleaning? You don't seem as mad at him for not doing that, seems like you have assumed they're "mothers" job
I feel the same way growing up with two physician parents. They gave so much of themselves at work that there was barely anything left to give us kids at home. Lots of fighting between them because my mom was so stressed trying to manage a career and kids
@@kajalk141exactly…
People always say you will never regret not having a career. I wish that were true, but I've cared for women on their death beds, and for some it's their biggest regret
What are you saying here?
@@Khaleesi_Of_Kittens that, contrary to popular opinion, some people regret not having a career. That's a real regret that some people have
No one can read the future: Here, they are both correct. Joan has no idea (as we don't) how her marriage, etc. will pan out. I am not implying that her marriage won't last, but what if something happens to her husband?
How can they know they actually regret not having a career? They never worked right? If they had gone to work then they would have ended up hating it just like most people 😑
@@karenparks308 And it could turn out that "Joan" decides to become a lawyer, anyway.. During the marriage.
You can have it all, just not all at once. Its not necessarily “choosing” so much as it is “prioritizing”
Ladies, an older woman with no money is less respected and vulnerable.Don't ever give away your power or have someone have power over you.
I feel that leaving your career for a guy and kids is literally putting yourself in a terrible position coz I've seen lots of women get cheated on or divorced and now they have to take care of the kids on their own or even get abused and they have no way out
It's not a wrong decision but it's not a safe one, you aren't in a position to pick up the reins if things shift.
Whatever causes health, separation, dependency, abuse, death, infirmity.
Yep, when you are dependent on someone else for your housing and allowance, you are basically a customer service employee in your relationship.
And it’s really none of your concern what people do with their life, it’s theirs as well as the consequences. Your experience isn’t everyone’s
Even your boss has power over you lol
Unless you work for yourself, by yourself. No guarantees in life ( except for the ones you buy on things ) and even those sometimes fail.
This is the reality I’ve found.
I was raised to pursue career money sex .
I chased all that shit and was never happy,
No girls made me happy
I job
No money or things.
I dated a girl with kids and her kids were the first kids I’d ever spent time with.
I realized I wanted a family of my own.
When things ended I pursued family.
I have two boys.
What you put into them you get to share end experience everyday
I realize it’s my mission and joy in life to raise good men and help them in their lives.
I don’t know if it’s for everyone but I’ve never been happier or more proud.
😭😭
As long as men do the work they can have a career and a family ..... Women cannot you have to choose you will have to sacrifice your career that you've been brainwashed to believe that you want or your family that you truly naturally want .........
The point is, you had a choice. Women have choice now, and we are more than capable and intelligent making those choices.
Fresh perspective coming from a man . Good.
Or else they always push it on to women.
They never tell men not to chase career sex money and to settle for family they only tell that to women
❤
if she isn’t married to Heath ledger then I don’t care 😭😂
Omg thanks for the likes ✋😭
😂
👍😭😭
You're welcome!
I don’t regret being a stay at home mom. My kids needed me. Now I have a job where I get to teach them the sport that I love. I do go on a lot of business trips now, but I’m lucky in that my husband is so supportive of whatever it is that I want to do.
❤
Just make sure you got a resume if the husband decides to cheat or leave. 20 yrs no exp. Youre starting over like youre a teenager
Isn't it women who have a higher rate of infidelity and instigate divorce? Hmmm. Could not have anything to do with the majority of women being unable to take responsibility.....not at all. Just blame the men. Actual facts don't need to be taken into account.
Try looking at the stats before spouting extremist feminist propaganda.
70% of divorces are women leaving their husband because they got bored. That's self reported information the women give compiled by the divorce court system.
99% of Divorces are due to women cheating, 80% of divorces are initiated by women.
You can stop the stupid lies and propaganda this is not the 1950s. In 2024 the majority of men choose to remain single rather than deal with toxic women like you.
No one is pointing out that if you don't work you will have no retirement funds. If he trades you in for a trophy you will lose out badly unless you have a great lawyer.
@carlyelizabeth4969 Every wife needs a prenup. I cheat on you and I get nothing. You cheat on me and I get everything.
This is what real feminism looks like. Two women who are willing to stand up for what's right for them and say "it's my choice. Respect it".
I mean not really. One was saying "you can have a family and a job you know" and the other said it was impossible and can't be done and one thing has to be thrown in the trash lol. One is correct, the other is not. Do you HAVE to have both? No, not if you dont want to. But saying you literally cant do both is just wrong and comes across as the woman just doubting herself and what she can do which is just sad.
Sorry, but she is totally missing the point. I'm a stay at home mom. I had a successful career for 10 years, and now I take care of my kids. The point the teacher is TRYING to make is that it is an utter LIE to believe that you have to sacrifice one for the other. That is the point she is trying to make. The character in the movie wanted to be a lawyer. She WANTED to attain higher education. The teacher was simply helping this woman obtain her dreams. Do you think the teacher gives a sh!+ if she is a lawyer? No. That's what she wanted but didn't because someone made her believe that woman can't possibly work and be a mother. Lol. It is just not true. No one questions a man when he works and has kids. You want to be a SAHM, great. You want to be a working mother, awesome. She is trying to break down the lie that a woman can't have one with the other. "I won't sacrifice being a wife and a mother." Literally, no one is asking you, too. THAT is the point the teacher is trying to make.
Exactly, and people are also forgetting the time period of this. In this era, it was still heavily frowned upon for most women to work and that they should only want to take care of their families because that was their purpose in life. Though I do wish that Julia Stiles' character would at least consider doing some secretarial work in the court system as part-time hustle. So she'll at least still be in the industry.
Wellllll, if you're at work all day, who's raising your kids cuz it sure ain't you, sugar. Unless you've discovered how to clone yourself .....
Yes, you can have both, if you want. The teacher in the movie though, she did have a way of "looking down" on the idea of having a family vs a career. The school pushed one extreme, that of family being better and more than a career; the teacher took the other extreme, of career over family. She paid lip service to the family women, in a "well that's fine for THEM, but YOU can be so much more".
This scene, that was pointed out to her. It was a teaching moment for the teacher, a much needed eye opener for her. The student (can't remember her name) could have done both, yes; but it would have meant sacrificing time from her family. She decided she didn't want to sacrifice that time.
That's the truth of it. Yes, you can have both, but it does require sacrifice. With a career, you sacrifice time you could be with your family. If it is a career that is particularly demanding to be successful, you either sacrifice more time from the family, or you sacrifice that success you could have in the career by putting the family before the career. It's a choice career family women have to make, where they choose to put the most of their time and energy. That's just the facts of it. Every woman has to decide for herself which path to take. But sacrifices will have to be made regardless.
@@matildamiller3233 Tell me how you can have both if you have to be at the office and at home with your children at the same time. Women unfortunately have to choose one or the other until at least the kids are in school and even then it's a challenge.
@@ExpectTheSpanishInquisition because they can have both. They just can't have both without sacrificing the completeness of one or the other, or sometimes both. Plenty of women have done both. They've had careers while having a family on the side, others have had families with careers on the side. To be fully successful in one or the other, they have to sacrifice the opposite. So they can have both, but not both fully.
I come from a working family. My parents put careers first. As a child, I wanted a parent to turn to, to be there for the good, and the bad. I rarely had that. I decided back then that if I were ever blessed with a family, they would come first. I worked many years before finding the love of my life. Once we found we were expecting, I became a stay-at-home wife and mother. I'm also thrilled with my chosen life. For me, sacrificing a career wasn't a difficult choice, or evwn a second thought. My family is my priority, happily.
The women in my family have earned their college degrees since the 1840’s. They prized education and it showed in our family culture. God Bless those forward-thinking, capable women!
And God bless those strong, capable women who choose to stay home and raise their children as well. Each can be admired and respected in their own way!
Unfortunately some of our female ancestors were enslaved
@@mascara1777 You mean everyone? Because yes, at some point in history, EVERY. PEOPLE. has been enslaved. It still happens today.
Forward-thinking is how we got here...
Im an EMT, ive never had a deathbed patient tell me to focus more on my career, they ALL tell me to spend time with family and cherish the time.
Thanks
Nobody is on their deathbed saying I should of make another report . For the most part they all say I should have spend more time with my kids.
Also the only people that remember you do overtime is your kids . Do what makes you happy !
Nobody who or their partner or parents hasn't focussed on career reaches EMT... am i wrong??😂 in America even getting ur teeth clean costs u fortune...😊
But it turns out her husband is nasty, cheats on her and she divorces him. I agree a career isn’t the biggest priority, but not rushing into marriage is also important.
Hell old ppl tell me this as well
He had already repeatedly cheated on her and told her to be a wife and mother. He was jealous of her because she was smarter than him. This scene is sad because we the viewer can see that she has given up her career to be a lawyer for a man who doesn’t love her. Will likely continue to cheat on her and use her. Leaving her with nothing.
It's also sad that, taken alone, this scene is a beautiful moment confronting the truth alot of woman face, but in context it makes the opposite point. So that beautiful message being used in the wrong place ruins it.
@@sparxmaiden841yes exactly and makes it seem negative when it’s not
That's Betty's husband you're talking about not Joan's. Joan's husband Tommy dotes on her.
You’re wrong. You’re confusing Julia Stiles’ character with Kristen Dunst’s character. Her husband cheated on her.
Julia Stiles’ movie husband is Topher Grace and is absolutely faithful to her.
The lesson in the movie was that Kristen always upheld being a wife above being a student or her career. When she got cheated on and chose to get divorced, she saw the importance of her career as an option.
Julia Stiles’ character was on track to become a Yale graduated attorney, with the support of her faithful husband. But she wanted to put that aside and be a mom and wife. As she stated here. And that it didn’t make her any less of a woman to choose that despite Julia Robert’s character’s misgivings.
It’s actually pretty neat how all the characters lives cross.
That wasn't in the movie
I have a husband who supported, encouraged, and funded my education. When I wanted to stay home with our boys, he supported, encouraged, and “funded” that. When I wanted to change careers and needed to go back to school, he did the same. Just as I’ve always supported and encouraged his goals and aspirations. And if he needed, I would help fund anything he wanted to do. And that’s how it should be.
My daughter in-law is a stay at home mother. She is also a full time college student. She is also a full time wife. She is amazing. While my granddaughter is young, she plans to stay home with her. When she is school age, she plans to use her degree. Strategize and live a life you love while always praying for the best and preparing for the worst ❤❤ God bless America 🇺🇸 ❤
Feminism is Freedom. Freedom is Choice.
😂😂
Feminism is communism now
No its not its toxic
Over 90% of women refuse to call themselves feminists and over 90% of people believe in equality, feminism is a lie.
@@DanikaObrien-mw7le No, I think that's you projecting, babe.
No one on their deathbed ever says, I wish I would've worked more or I wish I would've split my time between work and home more. Nah, raise that family and enjoy your home.
Do you say this to men?
If I need to but men and women have different roles, and there's nothing wrong with that. My father worked and I led a great life because of it. He attended all my games, made sure I stayed off a stripper pole, and taught me discipline. I remember everything about my dad growing up. I didn't miss out on anything.
@@PineappleChrissy 💯
@@PineappleChrissy my grandma said otherwise lmao.. but you're so right tho⚡ my parents followed their careers and took care of us at the same time...i have so much respect for women who choose to be a housewife and those who choose career over marriage..it's about what that woman wants..if she wants one or the other...always respect it because it's her life not yours☀ and wish her the best of luck in her future endeavors ⭐ but women who choose both though are such badass I swear🍀
@@unscmistressgaming1132 Yes. And a lot of men say they wish they would've spent more time with family. But this isn't about men.
For most women, I think that having a family with a part-time job is the best combination. You have enough time to take care of the family while still having a life outside the home which also provides some security in case of divorce or widowhood. I feel that most women want some financial independence but don't necessarily want a career. I'm also happy that we live in a time where women can achieve great things in a variety of fields and have meaningful careers and can also choose not to marry or have children without being frowned upon.
or start a business from home
That is a good plan. The character in the movie was rich and probably had her own money to rely on if something happened in the marriage or her husband died.
Most of us are not in that position.
Having a part time job to have a work record and add to your social security credits is important. Keeping up your licensing if you are an RN or anything like that is important too. Both of those have been my advice when asked.
I am bothered by the comments that say no woman should be a stay at home mom. If feminism is about choice, why is that not an equally valid choice?
This is actually really difficult. Childcare is so expensive that you usually can't justify the cost unless you're working full-time. Otherwise, your entire part-time salary is going straight to childcare. The main people who really have the flexibility to work part-time are people who have family members willing to help out. Or, you might be lucky enough to get a work from home job that's compatible with kids interrupting you.
@@kerodelkigh Many homemakers have home businesses. It's always been normal for homemakers to monetize their hobbies/talents throughout history; this notion that someone isn't a "real" homemaker if they have a source of income is inaccurate.
I did 7 years of medical school, now i am a single mom taking care of my son. And i love him and would do anything for him. You do not need to be uneducated to be a stay home mom. There is nothing wrong in having a family. My mom had 4 kids and was a stay home mom. But before that she was a laboratory tehnician😊❤
My mother was a SAHM until I was 14 and then started her career. I can never understand why other women look down on someone for wanting to put their time and effort into raising and nurturing their family. It's honestly one of the most selfless things a person can do, to put their own life on hold to make sure you can flourish in yours. It's not revolutionary or ground-breaking but it's an act of pure love and there's nothing else you can ask someone for
Selflessness isn't necessarily a virtue. In 2024, being a SAHM is a highly vulnerable and dangerous position to be in for the majority of women.
@@SamanthaYelenaExactly!
We're not judging or looking down on SAHMs. We're saying that even if you want to be one, it's wise to have an education and career experience as a backup in case your husband suddenly loses his job, gets sick, dies, or is abusive or leaves the marriage. Tragedies happen. There's nothing wrong with being a SAHM but don't lose out on an education and experience JUST IN CASE things go wrong.
@@SamanthaYelena not really? It was always a vulnerable position to be in, hence why women wanted to start working in the first place. Im just saying that choosing to not be a SAHM doesn't make you any better than someone who does 🤷🏻♀️
@@theyellowshoe9741 It doesn't make you better, it makes you realistic.
I went to college, got a degree and worked. I quit my job to stay at home with my babies. We homeschool now and it’s the best decision we’ve ever made.
Same in a perfect life. I'd be a stay at home over anything or at least a part time job while mostly doing the mom duties.
That was my life! 🙂 There was so much criticism back when, sorry to see it hasn’t changed.
Your children are very lucky.
@@cassycorky9832 Yes. Nothing new under the sun. It's so sad.
Correct, well said!. Irrespective of any woman's choice, we should respect and appreciate it equally. Raising a family and being a supportive mother to her children is the most sacrificial and amazing life career a woman can choose. I love my mother for choosing us before her career interests. Glad to see this clip! Women empowerment also includes raising a family and being a mother and housewife, too ❤
EDIT: Some people apparently do face mistreatment. I was not aware of this being so prevelant, as I've never personally encountered it.
In other words, feel free to disregard the first sentence below, I do not stand by it. I apologise for my ignorance.
I do stand by the rest of my comment, but I'd like to highlight that I value everyone's right to choose for themselves more than I do these opinions.
Lastly, I think being a stay at home parent is a demanding and rewarding job like any other, and I support anyone who chooses to pursue it.
No one's going to judge you for being a housewife.
People are going to judge you for not getting a degree and work experience beforehand.
Because what if your husband dies? What if he abandons you? What if he starts abusing you and your children? Are you going to find another man to take care or your family right away?
Parenthood isn't just about spending time with your kids, it's about ensuring that no matter what, your kids will be financially secure. Not doing having a back-up plan is irresponsible when children are involved.
Women judge you even when you have a back up plan.. don’t lie 😂
@@Sammiejammie521 I've never personally encountered that. I have encountered plenty of women getting insulted for being career moms or childfree.
@@petkamoravcikova I am a homemaker… I don’t have a single conversation in the topic with working women that are pleasant. They are ALWAYS rude and negative. They roll their eyes or make sarcastic remarks about how nice it must be
I've been both a career woman and stay at home mom. I'm am staying with my kids till they don't need me anymore
If my husband dies I'll have life insurance, and he will never be violent towards me, I'm more aggressive than he is. If he cheats we'll get divorced and I'll get half the assets. The last 2 will never ever happen though. Just because you're pessimistic about marriage and don't trust your man, doesn't mean the rest of us are. Why do you care about the preparation of other women? Just do what you want and leave us alone.
This movie is absolutely BRILLIANT. She shows women that think they are only made to make babies and make their husbands dinners - that they can be and have more.
This notion of "more" is what is so offensive. Being "more" implies that you're less if you choose to keep a home and be a present and attentive mother. I'm rather sick of the verbiage honestly... as a homemaker and mother with a masters degree. 🫡
@@shb8212 perhaps the phrasing is what offends you, what I meant is that they can have more than the standard - which is what having babies and a family was at the time.
@Ninetieschannel the phrasing actively discourages women from staying home with their babies, which is what's best for infants... the science supports this, but nobody can present the data because of angry feminists who insist this is beneath a woman's potential and a waste of time.
@@shb8212 feminism is the reason us women can vote and have money of our own. Please do not talk nonsense. Feminism simply states women have a choice and thats how it should be. Men can stay home too and it would be equally benefiting to the children. Just because you (obviously) cant picture men do that doesnt mean (obviously) they cant or that you get to dictate women how to live.
@Ninetieschannel that's just not logical. The biological design of women's bodies is outstanding evidence that we are meant to be near our infants.. the cascade of bonding hormones post birth, lactation ... our propensity to be nurturing and flexible... all point towards motherhood. And don't go "but not ALL women are nurturing "... duh, that's called attachment disorder and it's caused by neglect when we are infants (think daycare... mothers gong back to work 3 months postpartum)
I am the single friend.but i support my friends and family with their marriage go for whatever you want in life 😊
The blonde girl is completely right!!! This is a true speech to tell feminists
I was ridiculed for years for being a stay-at-home mom. It was the best choice I could have ever made and my main regret is that I let my husband convince me to return to work as soon as my youngest was in kindergarten. They still needed me through elementary and middle school and I wasn't able to be there for them in the same way.
That's my fear as well. I know my husband would never ask me too, but I also see how stressed he is getting being the only one to support the financial side of our family. So while my youngest is still a baby I'm taking classes so I can work from home.
I hate it when feminist ask SAHMs why cant they do both. It cant be done. There’s only so much hours in a day. I just missed my daughter’s recital for my job. A job that wont promote me cuz i take too many time off when my kids got sick.
@@steffyxxYes, unfortunately when we are working moms, taking time off as unscheduled PTO bites us in the a$$ come review and promotion time. These companies don't care about families and HR isn't there to help you either. BOTH things can't be done without having to sacrifice one over the other. People that claim to be able to do both is due to unlimited resources (financial and of course having family support)
@@Yourmuthasaidso I stand firm in my belief that no one can do both, even rich people. If they have day jobs, then nannies help the kids. I like staying home and taking care of my kids, i dont like strangers doing it for me 🥲 i get sad when my sister do it for me when she helps out.
They also make it impossible for our partners to have ANY part of their kids lives, unless you work at a fortune 500 company. But Blue Collar workers? My husband gets 2 days off from his Full time job where he works 12hr days. Those 2 days he does side hussles. So he gets to put the kids to bed, and when he gets Vaca it's all about the kids and I. But still he does not want me going back to work unless it's something I can do from home because my Mental and physical health suffered and so our kids suffered for it as well. I do what I can to include him in milestones but recording it is not the same as seeing it in RL. I'm so worried we will lose him at a young age. It shouldn't be like this at ALL.
I like how she phrased her response , “ you tell us every day . “ with her choosing to be at home and embrace and enjoy raising a family does not make her stupid , many believe it makes her wise . Those years are fleeting , many more years for a career .
99,9% men never even bothered to even think about choosing. Why is it that EVERY woman needs to make this choice?
She looks too angry for a happy married woman. I watched this movie and in my opinion She’s not that type of people who needs to explain her choices to others so it makes me think in this scene she’s not deeply happy. There was another girl who gave up on her education to get marry and she looked really happy but it’s not the same for this character.
You mixed up the characters
Marriage and family are BEAUTIFUL!!!
the thing is men doesn’t have to choose between a career and family nobody overlooks when a man is successful and has kids but women has to give up their dreams or people say she is a bad mother for not being there for her children
@@elifsu3032 I hear you but that just means that women have a choice.
I tried to have this conversation with my mom- didn't end well. She ended up calling me lazy and blamed it on my father's genes...
Moms will be moms.
That sounds like a hurtful thing for your mom to say.
but you'll see she is right ...in few years you'll understand the meaning of being a housewife.no recognition and if your husband decides to leave you you are gonna pay the price .
depending on one human being for your survival is foolish
@@nivaeva2411 I spent my teen & twenties thinking she's right about everything, my thirties are teaching me otherwise.
Your mom is not wrong. Not calling you lazy but she’s seeing what you can’t. I always reference the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31. She worked inside AND outside of the home. She had multiple income streams. She illustrates that from a purely practical standpoint, it’s not wise to rely on a sole source of income.
I wish more people defended a woman's choice to stay home.
But that would complicate our denial. Baby Boomers spent so much time brainwashing and manipulating Millennial women into being the "perfect ideal" that they wish they could have been. It never occurred to them that their vision wasn't really possible. Yes, you can have a career and take care of kids, but it's exhausting and not something we're actively choosing. The cost of everything has increased so much that it's necessary just to make ends meet. Millennials are struggling to survive, not thriving.
People don't because she's not guaranteed anything and we can't ever know the future so it's better to choose the safe option to avoid all the pain and suffering that comes when she abandons her career for a family and she gets abandoned too
@@Guy_4012 Jobs also abandon women. There are risks to every path in life; every marriage doesn't end or end up disastrous.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682At least she'll have experience and skill set to find another job whereas 20 years of being a SAHW doesn't benefit her even an ounce.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 ....i wish that were the case where I'm from...marriages always end up disasterous I swear...seeing situations around me like that makes me feel not so positive about marriages but then again... I need to go outside and touch grass some more lmao.. then maybe I won't have such negative opinions about it.. marriage is a beautiful thing but I haven't encountered the beauty of it from the people that I've come across
Nothing replaces being home with your babies. School and work will always be there, a baby, toddler, child will grow up.
Lol but you would regret if your husband gets sick/ disabled /dies /cheats or leaves then what?
What will happen to the "family"? Shes so daft the other lady is saying you cab do BOTH amd shes still saying its either lawyer or family.
Everything she's saying here is right for her. What she told Catherine was true. This wouldn't be my personal choice but I have to respect her and how she presented it. Catherine got "schooled" here.
I didnt care to marry or have kids and if thats for my friends , ok.
I had several aunts and uncles who were life singles , and their lives were more active,varied, and fun.
I so loved the way things end up being. Joan wanted the career but chose her family because she wanted them more, and Tommy really supported her. Betty wanted the family (obsessily, I might add) and even though she got "everything she ever dreamed off) it was all a fantasy that crumbled down into nothing and she ends up going for the career. A sequel would be so nice! More so in this time where the word 'feminism' has been so warped.
Huh? Joan's husband cheated on her and they divorced. How is that supportive?
And the only people that have warped the word feminism are toxic men and brainwashed women.
You need to go back and watch the movie, Tommy pretended to support Joan. Really, he resented her wanting a career. Watch the Tommy character’s facial expressions and tone of voice (the actor conveyed it clearly but most viewers don’t see nor hear those details) whenever the idea of Joan going to law school or having a career comes up. His reactions are low key negative.
Tommy eloped with Joan to make sure she didn’t go to law school. He used his excuses of not wanting a big wedding as his cover.
@@SnowLeopardForever you mean the discussion he had with the teacher when they were dancing? It did sound, as you say, negative, however, I do believe Tommy loved Joan dearly. And I also choose to believe Joan knew what she wanted and she took the time to make her decision.
Feminism is NOT warped, it means the same thing as it did before - equal rights and opportunities for all genders.
@@down-to-earth-mystery-school well, in my eyes it has. 'Modern' feminism is all about how women are oppressed and how we don't have equal opportunities or the same rights when I say right now, in this era, women have more opportunities than ever before. Is it all rose-colored and rainbows? No, we still have to work hard, but so do the men.
Honestly, she didn’t have to choose. If he loved her, he would marry her and support her in her educational journey. He should be supportive of her career choice.
She literally said in the clip that he would have supported her if she chose to go
🙋🏻♀️Here! You can do both if that’s what you want, but it’s true she will feel the need to be stimulated beyond dedicating herself solely to her family but the family can be supportive in her intellectual pursuit too. Ohhh I liked this movie sooooo much! It made me feel like I can do stuff! Whatever that was!
I never regret being a mom and wife -
We home educated them. I learned more by teaching.
Never regretted my decision.
Our children are happy, responsible, professionals. They are starting their own families. They are all in their 30s. 🎉
I love this movie. It showed all complexities of what it means to be a women and broke down so many stereotypes of what it means to be a woman and “woman types”
You can't save people who don't want to be saved. Regrets of not having your own always come years after. No need to argue with these women who think that they know it all.
Everyone is different and wants different things. As long as no one is harming one another, doesn't everyone have that right and not be forced into what is expected?
I agree with the housewife! Women today are almost forced to have a career. I know a few who will just be content with being a housewife! 🙂 there is nothing wrong with having a career or being a housewife or both. The problem arises when either of these things are forced.
The interesting part is this girl is wrong… She can be married and she still can have an education. Because what happens is she doesn’t know - she’s too young - if you delve only in home life, you’ll find out that the chores and the things you do, if you don’t enrich your life with something else intellectual - your home life becomes, and starts to dumb you down… It’s kind of The way it goes. The mind is a malleable organ. It needs constant engagement in higher goals. Yes, raising children is wonderful and is very important, but she cannot devote herself only to that and then at some point in the middle of life, she can look around and the kids are gone and then what do you do hang into your husband and what if he’s gone… Passed away or something or left… What are you doing? Then your life becomes kinda empty after that, so yeah you can’t do both. You just have to be smarter and decide you will.
Can I get Netflix to do a sequel set in the late 70s early 80s with all of their children being taught by Julia Roberts? Show how the people have changed and how different the times are.❤
I’d watch that. I hope Netflix hears your idea and goes forward with it.
Some of y'all in the comments seem to be ignoring what Julia Robert's character is saying. She's basically saying that you can have it all, you can have both. Not everything requires an unnecessary sacrifice. It will take a lot of effort & work but you can have it. Unfortunately, society tells us, especially women, too often that we can't. Not because it's impossible but because society doesn't want us to have both.
It's a lie we have been sold. The government wants you to work! Duh...more money for them. Trying to do it all has left us exhausted, depressed and not doing any one thing right.
A great example on confronting your own bias. Or at least being confronted with it. Excellent writing.
As a mom I work part time. So i can still develop myself and still be a mom with a lot of time with her kids. I love being a mom and I love time for myself. Its different for everyone...
He was alreasy cheating on her. She chose to limit her options for him, chose yo not be self teliant so she can tell him to f off once his nasty side was revealed.
Doesn't matter. The fact SHE made her choice. Respect people.
@@nicolcacola yeah and it a bad choice, if someone u love is with a cheater you'll be okay with that because it's THEIR choice?😂
You sound dumb asf
Wrong character, did any of you guys who have said this really watched the movie 😂
That wasn't in the movie
As someone who was a nanny for a husband and wife that both worked 50+ hours, a woman or man at a law firm the first couple years IS NEVER GONNA BE THERE FOR THEIR KIDS.
She saw him for bedtime only and they had no discipline boundaries for the guilt.
It was sickening. The poor cant afford to be there for the kids and in this country its not even safe to be poor with these rents and how hard work is but being rich or affording daycare you dont love your kids you let strangers raise them that you dont even love or treat okay.
And thats called RESPONSIBLE! IT'S NEGLECT.
Exactly! The reason we have so many problems with the youth today is bc their parents are NOT RAISING THEM. They may THINK they are bc they spend 2 hrs a day with them and buy them things but have you seen the kids lately? They’re promiscuous, they’re committing crime, they’re damn near illiterate and a lot of them behave horribly with no respect for authority no matter what socioeconomic class it is, they’re usually children where their parents are both working, or have a single parent who can’t spend quality time rearing them. If a woman wants to be a SAHM that’s A BLESSING, these comments and people are acting like it’s not 2024 and most women don’t already have a job before they get married or have kids and can’t go meet with an accountant and financial advisor with their husband to make sure he is allocating funds to her properly.
(example: forming a family management company LLC under his name and “hiring” her as an employee in a managerial position and paying her every 2 weeks. She can have any job description she wants and if she’s smart she’ll still participate in local events pertaining to her previous or desired career field so that she’s still able to build up her linked in profile, resume, and show she has been having proof of income over the years hell you can even put the kids on as employees and put their little wages in a separate account for them that can later become a trust and hubby gets tax breaks on what he’s paying out if you do it right)
There are so many things people are choosing to play ignorant about when it comes to being a SAHM no matter what your husbands salary is save up and consult a financial advisor and accountant to make sure the money he’s giving you to do what you need to do is an ASSET. Like let’s not be dense, that’s the same thing you’d do if you were working outside of the home but you set it up different structurally. Even if your check from him (see there? now it’s no longer an allowance but your actual source of income) is only $500 every 2 weeks that’s STILL income if you ask how to set it up with an accountant the way I described and that’s just one example. Being a SAHM is only as risky as you yourself make it by not advocating for your own financial stability.
Woke up one day, realized someone else was raising my daughter and that all of my friends who are stay at home moms we’re still stressed and busy, but they were incredibly fulfilled and happy while most of my colleague. Working moms had the wrong kind of stress and were not. I took a break from my career to raise my family and I have never regretted it!! ❤❤❤
Comments aren’t passing the vibe check
Julia styles’s accent in this is ri-god-damn-diculous
😮😮
I like being a House wife
Yeah you better pray your husband leaves enough if he dies. If not you're going to be the next person on welfare and homeless if you have no education and if you've never worked before.
That's great but it's not the point 🤦
Some of us just want a family and to be a wife and mom. Its also okay to be a career woman. Why do we tear each other down for wanting what we want !
I'm not big on feminism BUT do everything you want and believe you can. You will never be happy if you don't. Find a partner that supports your beliefs and wants. Remember to give him the same respect and opportunity. This, this is marriage, a true partnership.
It’s an individual’s choice to take whatever pathway they choose. No one needs any ideals or groups telling them otherwise. Empowerment comes from within that person, not from any one group. Lead yourself, don’t be a follower.
She is right, the one who choose family, both choice are ok but do whats good for you and what you want for your life ❤
Ohh that one girl looks like gigi hadid 😅😂
I think she's right. She chose what makes her happy
Choose carefully. When the day comes you are told you are terminal that last thing on your mind will be your profession. The main topic on your mind will be your family or if you did not choose carefully, it will be I regret not having had a family. Death has a funny way of realigning your priorities for you.
My late grandmother didn't have an education when she was growing up in a poor life but did appreciate what education provided for. While she had work as a lace maker to make living to provide for her parents and siblings, then she met my grandfather who was a sailor. Her dream was to be a wife and mother. While she appreciated education and jobs, she loved being a wife and a mother to her children.
To be clear, my late grandmother was no idiot.
❤️💯
I have a bachelors degree, but I’m a SAHM and I always wanted to homeschool my children which I have done! But my bachelor’s degree has helped me start an online business as well and help a little with our family’s expenses. One thing I know is that the teacher is wrong to say “you can do both” no you can’t. You will sacrifice one, your career or your family. Even as a SAHM and online business owner there’s times I can’t join my kids to play a board game or watch a movie…but I make that very very rare because my joy comes from them not my business. They have sold us that idea and I love how the other character explains it , no I won’t wake up one day regretting not having a succesful business but I already regret missing some moments with my family
Having a family is a blessing and being a mother is ridiculously important. Everyone doesn't get it!!
Feminist trick women into saying get your career first then get your family but the sad reality is when your sacrifice marriage over career you end up a middle aged woman who is at high risk of having special needs baby, unable to conceive or end up spending fortune's to conceive. The headaches and dangers are very real. After having your family if you really want career you can still try after.
My grandmother had her 99th birthday she had 2 two daughters that had 5 grandchildren and they had 13 great grandchildren, add in the husbands and wives 28 people there, nobody there cared whatsoever what job she did. Anybody who thinks a job is more important than family is going to be very lonely in their old age.
No one is saying otherwise. It’s about choice.
@@calvinsykesii5834quite a few have said that. Many here have predicted that she will be left eventually by her husband and will not get a job because she has no work experience.
In the movie the character is rich and would most likely be fine
You're the one saying that
i LOVED this movie as a young girl. like 13-14 years old. even now as a nearly 30 year old women I think about this movie and the choices I’ve made and where I’ve ended up. I chose a family and to be a homemaker.
My Mom was a stay at home mom...she is a smart capable woman. I have a PhD and I am a total trainwreck most of the time...I am pround of her and she is proud of me.