I tried to tweet but I don't use Twitter. Seagal is officially opening a dojo in Moscow to teach slap fighting to young Russians so they, like seagal, can go kill innocent Ukrainians when they join the army at 18. Its really screwed up. He got a new medal from Putin, and visited russian troops to spread propaganda and boost morale.
"While still managing to take out as many unarmed villagers as possible." Just over a minute into the video and Seagal has already killed bystanders LMAO.
Yeah. That Japanese guy who killed that other Japanese guy who ended our President aka The Big Guy's 10% has to be illuminated. That's why our CIA & FBI were there. To tell this country never mess with the Big Guy's 10%. Or the Big Guy will send in Russian Steven Seahag.
Steven Seagal movie starter pack be like: -Pointless action scene at the start -Good guy that always seems to die for no good reason -Stereotypical bad guy who’s probably Asian -Woman who falls in love with him for no reason -Russian guy who is both a saint and a psychopathic monster -Always takes place in a country that’s really cheap to film in -That one guy who does nothing but talk about how great Steven in -“You’re the only one who can do this Steven” -Stunt doubles everywhere And finally, a terrible ending that leaves more questions than answers and is extremely underwhelming.
And you missing the shoot where the girlfriend/lover comes to him while he is seating in a bed. She takes the clothes off, rubs her niples in him and he just puts his hands on her back. Every freaking time.
True story, I was working at a software job in Shinjuku, and I heard that Steven Seagal was shooting a movie that day. During lunch we scrounged the area as much as we could (unsuccessfully, Shinjuku is huge) in hopes that we could catch the Rotund One doing one of his girly slap fights on the road or something. We failed, but I saw a secondhand copy of this in a video store a few years later, checked the date, put two and two together, and figured this was the one. I watched it with an eagle eye, hoping I could catch the shooting locations, but all I caught was a bad case of the giggles over how bad it was. I'm sorry for how shitty my story is, but at least I apologize unlike Seagal
Brad Pitt is quite a good actor but the scripts always had him taking shirt off after he started sporting a built look for his parts. That same glorification seen often on facial shots with that funny looking and often miscast, DiCaprio
“I admire and respect Steven Seagal for maintaining a level of calm that no one can possibly have, and I love how his movements are so delicate yet precise. Almost like a kung-fu master, I might say.” -Steven Seagal
there is some dumb people here wow! ok, listen up, he's got a 7th degree dan belt in aikido! he was trained by a well know japanese master in japan starting at the age of 7, he then took over his father in laws aikido school and taught the japanese their own martial arts style, you dumb people listen to all the bs that jealous people spew, yes he sucks at acting, but actually very good at martial arts, so he made a million B grade movies and got semi rich. my point being, he would actually kick everyone's asses unless they were at least a second degree belt in some offensive style . bet you wouldn't fight him lol you might say you would but you would chicken out. sorry but what you've heard and been told is not even close to the truth, he's the real deal guys
The problem with just having discovered Space Ice is you realise there is only a finite amount of it, and now you must ration his videos on Segal. This channel provides the rare flat out loud uncontrollable belly laughing that you don’t even get from many professional comedian Netflix specials. Bravo, Space Ice.
I ran out of Space Ice Seagal videos a few days ago. 😢 Fortunately there’s Uwe Boll and plenty of direct-to-streaming garbage to keep his queue full for the next century.
Raise by an abusive, drug addict. Forced into a biker gang as a kid. Lived on the streets for a decade, trying to pull myself up. I can attest that this though WILL get you through hell. "I'm not Segal" has gotten me through more dark times than Jesus.
@@TammoKorsai Steven Seagal writes movies about a guy who says "yeah I'd totally do that in a fight" in his head... his shitty movies literally do nothing but fuel his own ego
It was funny the first time it was said sorry for being a dick bit it's just everyone of these videos about Seagal you can but ypur life this comment with be on the thread.i know I'm a ass but I guess I hate predictability.
'None of this has anything to do with the rest of the movie, and it's never mentioned again' has become the most common stock phrase in discussing Steven Seagal movies, particularly the opening scenes.
if he suddenly dressed normal acted normal and said the last 25 yearshe was trolling and he got us, i might actually believe him. if he were doing a meta bit, he would truly be the greatest actor in the world.
He was actually pretty funny in The Onion Movie where he played a parody of himself called "Cock Puncher" in a series of fake trailers. But, to be far, he may have thought he was filming a serious movie the whole time.
"After needlessly killing the janitor... And this gay couple. He takes it too the next level, and just starts blindly firing around corners" 😂😂😂. Space Ice is a legend I swear
Aspiring Actor: "I always wanted to be in movies" Talent Agent: "I have a Steven Seagal script here" Aspiring Actor: "I always wanted to be a garbageman"
Did you know that Seagal who claimed several times to have went to the Vietnam War actually flee to Japan in 1971 or 1973 to avoid being call in the War because he was between 19 to 21 years old at the time.
0:50 It's funny how Seagal always tries to portray himself as a good guy by saving a woman at the start of his movies, but then spends the rest of the movie killing innocent people and being inappropriate around every other woman he comes across.
I can't get over this scene from 6:17, Seagal peeps on a girl, crashes on her neighbours, murders them, flips a table, refuses to elaborate and leaves. Poetry in motion.
What about the Chinese man gave his daughter to Seagal for no reason at all, and then he dragged this girl along for his murder spree while his fiancée was killed... Wtf was going on.
@@Iron-Bridge only thing faster than his hands is how fast he's breathing after doing the " fights" and the people walking away from him after a scene with him
This guy is super funny. He has really nailed the comical ludicrous nature of seagal films. He ruthlessly reduces the entire flick to a pointless farce. Which it is!
same, when i was a kid i never really understood any of the plot (now as explained they don't make sense), but i liked his movies because he always wins!
@@mecharoo Exactly. The whole formula is very appealing when you're a child, when you get older it starts feeling cringe. I mean even the powerrangers got a beating before they took down the bad guys.
It's a scary thought that will give you nightmares, but the people who actually watch every Steven Seagal movie and think they're awesome, roam amongst us in everyday life.
Especially here in Brazil. I guess the dubbing makes it less worse because you can actually understand what the dubber (and Seagal's dubber is VERY good at dubbing characters; I think he's basically in almost 99% of the dubbings of Sylvester Stallone's movies btw) is saying, unlike Seagal's mumblings... But yeah, I feel you.
There is a guy at my gym who rants and raves about him and his movies. He knows the lines, tries the 'fighting' moves and thinks he's a sex magnet for women. And yes, he has taken a few blows to the head. Thousands too many; worst mma practitioner going...
@@thatcanada Some years ago, I was in a Florida jail for a five month stretch for a drunk and disorderly situation; the one television in the dorm had various channels and rarely would any of the 60+ inmates agree on what to watch. But damn near EVERY guy in there would agree to sit and watch the Steven Segal movies that came on the TBS channel. They would marvel at Segal in an un-ironic way..... Many of these cats were mentally ill and emotionally effed-up, really some of them should have been put in a mental facility for treatment, but Florida is not big on rehabilitation.... Point being, I think Segal convincingly attracts those of weak moral character and of questionable mental state.
I love how pretty much every roast of a Segal movie includes the line, "...this has nothing to do with the rest of the movie, AND IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN."
Fun fact: The last video to use the plain "[...] is a Steven Seagal movie" was the Good Man (December 24th, 2022). The first video to use the awesome "[...] is a Steven Seagal MEGA BLOCKBUSTER HIT MOVIE" was Black Dawn (Jan 20th 2023).
Cuz he's a mature adult and he's into "adult" shit if you didn't know. Also, did you know all women go crazy for him? Like they just can't resist his low Tes- i mean high testosterone masculine body lolol
You have to admit Seagal has admirable qualities.. like his determination.. despite his utter lack of talent at acting, directing, and most importantly fighting, he won't give up on making action movies.. despite being one of the saddest and most pathetic creatures ever, he wouldn't stop trying to convince you that women actually care about him..
Afaik his movies are just used for money laundering, so the quality isn't important as long as they pass as legitimate movies. Also, by this point, there seems to be a huge number of Seagal haters that watch those movies precisely because they are so bad. In the end it's like in the internet - as long as people click, you are winning.
What superb display of masterful writing, top tier editing and what could only be generational levels of talent in acting. Your video review that is. Who knows what the hell's going on in Seagal's movies.
This movie is actually secretly brilliant because it's a critique of Japanese politics and Steven Seagal symbolizes Western Colonialization of Japanese culture... Or at least that's what my film school professor once told me.
You’re a real one Space Ice. We all know you have to watch these atrocities more than once to get all the info you share . Thanks for sparing us all the torture and making us belly laugh
Thank you. I laugh over and over when I listen to your summaries of Seagal's movies. You'd think after 1 or 2, your commentary would not be as funny but it always is. I especially like how you are able to always find examples of him shooting without aiming and killing of innocent bystanders in every movie.
Seafood Seagal no-scopes the entire country of Myanmar, and doesn't reload once. He is truly walking with an air of confidence that is rarely seen in this day and age.
There should be a Steven Seagal kiosk at the State Fair where you pay to get your picture taken while Steven Seagal sits in an office chair and pretends to slap fight with you.
I have been waiting for this. Got worries something bad happened to space ice. Almost felt like I had to use my very specific lack of skills to help him
Just found your channel and after about 2 videos you already have achieved Legend status. You should be the lone voice for every upcoming movie trailer and the only one who reviews every movie after they come out. Oh yes, also, and i feel like I can speak for all your fans and say Just go ahead and narrate all of our daily lives….Please and thank you
In the next movie written by steven seagal, a female only school principal will tell seagal that all the girls there are now his property because of how cool and badass he is, not to mention he looks younger and stronger than ever!
I never thought the day would come where I'd be happy about a new Steven Seagal movie coming out. But after watching this channel I wish he'd release as many films as possible.
Yes !! Brand new video. Just found this channel a week ago and I’ve watched every video at least 3 times and laugh every time. Thanks Space Ice for all the JCVD joy you bring us
I totally love the realism of Japan being the most brutal and crime filled country in the world. I actually think that Stephen singlehandedly doubled the murders in the whole country for that year in one cool mother effing movie..
This is my new favorite channel. Funny stuff. I had absolutely no idea Seagal has made so many movies. I don’t understand how someone could sit through anyone of them
Eddie wasn't only a running back and kind of a movie star, he's now coaching football at TSU, which is a school in which two students are shot by other students is considered a slow week. Seriously it's like they somehow managed to transport a part of Memphis and just plopped it down in Nashville.
This is the first one of these you have done that actually caused me brain damage 😂 Like we know there are going to be 3-4 subplots in Seagal movies that are completely unrelated but this time Seagal take it to double figures. Someone with video editing skills should see if they could simply take scenes and plots from several Seagal movies, put them together and see if they could make a movie that makes more sense and is better than any actual Seagal movie. I mean, no adding or anything, literally just cut and paste. Give it a catchy title like: "Seagal finally makes sense". 😂
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice
Love your videos , will do Steven Seagal movie tire list ?
take my money daddy
Don't you dare Sully this great man's name
@@madwizard3243 🤢
I tried to tweet but I don't use Twitter. Seagal is officially opening a dojo in Moscow to teach slap fighting to young Russians so they, like seagal, can go kill innocent Ukrainians when they join the army at 18. Its really screwed up. He got a new medal from Putin, and visited russian troops to spread propaganda and boost morale.
Fun fact: Steven Seagal also has a black belt in Bullshitsu
Ta-dah!!! That is funny, witty and clever...comment of the mf'ing month!! Laughed and laughed. Thanks!!
Also black belts in fengshui and origami.
Buuuuurn
Steven Seagal has a black belt he bought from Kohl's. It was on sale.
First I'm hearing of this 😮
"The Notorious P.I.G heads into the crime scene Japan can't seem to solve" The most perfect description of that scene
One of the best lines ever spoken about seagal
and yes! He called him big poppa!!!!
"That's why I brought you in, Big Poppa"
@@centurion262 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
Notorious PIG
💀💀💀
"You look younger and taller"
... The mind of Steven Segal is a beautiful and terrifying thing.
... please. take my hot teenage daughter... please....
😂😂😂
His ability to not just double over and laugh at his own bullshit should be considered a superpower.
Mostly, terrifying, I'd say.
the fact that hes writting this himself make it so cringe
You just know he wrote that and said to himself in front of a mirror "Oh yeah that sounds badass, Me..."
"That's why I brought you in big papa". I feel so sorry for the actor having to say that; you can tell it was difficult for him.
That is William Atherton. He went from Ghostbusters & Die Hard to this.
@@stvdagger8074 --Yes, of course! The reporter in Die Hard I&II and the man with no dick in Ghostbusters. Well, I'm glad he had his glory days.
It's because of the smell of rotten ketchup and old hot dogs, the famous "Eau du Seagal" if you will.
@@stvdagger8074 That poor poor man. I hope he managed to get the therapy he clearly needed after doing this movie.
lol "big papa" 😂
I love how Segal thinks he's the hero in the movie but always makes his character a homicidal maniac 😂
He knows what we want
@@noname-gp6hk he definitely subscribes to 'if you build it they will come "philosophy in regards to his movies. Lol
Charles Bronson enters the chat
It's been said 100 times ffs. Lust for killing and mandatory strip-tease,
IT'S FOR THE RUSSKIYE AUDIENCE !!
@@gregbors8364Charles Bronson kept it classy. He just got tired of everyone r@ping and murdering his daughter, wife, and all of his girlfriends.
"While still managing to take out as many unarmed villagers as possible."
Just over a minute into the video and Seagal has already killed bystanders LMAO.
Wasn't one the bystanderss a blonde woman? @ 01:11
I think that particular scene is from Rambo...
The word you're looking for is "liberated".
He liberated all these unarmed civilians.
@@tonytoes0 unless she dye her hair
its faked for comedy
One has to admire that Seagal is so concerned with the environment that he recycles the same plot elements and the same leather jacket in every movie.
Same prop guns too. That's probably one of his best investments.
And I’m pretty sure that he shared the meat from the animal he skinned amongst his indigenous community!😂
And ponytail
@@louissmith5298 Forgot about that one. You are right.
Don't forget the shoulder pads
SEAgal the type of guy to write his own movies just so he can write in as many love scenes with woman 40years younger than him
Exactly!!
Schoolgirls
@@F40PH-2CAT No, screw that!
You're dead wrong. He goes for women 50 years younger than him
Don't forget the strip clubs 😂
"A Japanese guy, killed another Japanese guy, in Japan, which is somehow CIA's problem."
Man I'm dead😂
Bro ur username had me dying. 😂
Yeah. That Japanese guy who killed that other Japanese guy who ended our President aka The Big Guy's 10% has to be illuminated. That's why our CIA & FBI were there. To tell this country never mess with the Big Guy's 10%. Or the Big Guy will send in Russian Steven Seahag.
It got me to. LMFAO
🤣🤣🤣
Seagal's pal Vladmir Putin thinks stuff in another country is *his* problem, so it kind of makes sense.
Bringing laughs to millions and humiliating Seagal at the same time…you’re truly doing the lord’s work, Space Ice!
On a Sunday no less
seagal is a good actor. you hate him just because he is black
Some people just seem to really heed their calling.
@@johnadams1600and Native American, and Russian, and Japanese, and Italian and...
@@ByakuyaKB as the old saying goes, I will snatch every motherfucker birthday.
Japanese Tyler Durden is possibly the best description of anyone I've ever heard.
I hear he is also known as Asayler Durden
Notorious PIG tops it 😂
@@vietnamd0820 Seconded, I almost spit coffee all over my TV.
I’ll have to keep my eye on him!
Then putting that as a subtitle later on haha.
Steven Seagal is 1/4 Cherokee - he weighs a quarter of a jeep.
😂
It makes me happy when I see stolen comments barely get any likes compared to the one they stole it from.
top kek XD
Ha! Too funny!
Oh shit! 🤣😂😂😂😂😂
The “Big Papa” line is the biggest crime against humanity.
Lmao.
He is your papa though
- written by steven segal
Followed by "Notorious P.I.G."
Big slobba
Steven Seagal movie starter pack be like:
-Pointless action scene at the start
-Good guy that always seems to die for no good reason
-Stereotypical bad guy who’s probably Asian
-Woman who falls in love with him for no reason
-Russian guy who is both a saint and a psychopathic monster
-Always takes place in a country that’s really cheap to film in
-That one guy who does nothing but talk about how great Steven in
-“You’re the only one who can do this Steven”
-Stunt doubles everywhere
And finally, a terrible ending that leaves more questions than answers and is extremely underwhelming.
Don't forget the obligatory Strip Club scene...
@@theotherohlourdespadua1131 that's like rule #1 =D
And you missing the shoot where the girlfriend/lover comes to him while he is seating in a bed. She takes the clothes off, rubs her niples in him and he just puts his hands on her back.
Every freaking time.
@ and clothes on!!!
You forgot the scenes that has nothing to do with the rest of the movie, and never mentioned again.
True story, I was working at a software job in Shinjuku, and I heard that Steven Seagal was shooting a movie that day. During lunch we scrounged the area as much as we could (unsuccessfully, Shinjuku is huge) in hopes that we could catch the Rotund One doing one of his girly slap fights on the road or something. We failed, but I saw a secondhand copy of this in a video store a few years later, checked the date, put two and two together, and figured this was the one. I watched it with an eagle eye, hoping I could catch the shooting locations, but all I caught was a bad case of the giggles over how bad it was.
I'm sorry for how shitty my story is, but at least I apologize unlike Seagal
You should have gone to a strip club. He would have showed up there for sure!
entirely pointless 10/10
Nothing to be ashamed of, id kill my mom to get a chance to see steven seagall on the street
Your story is good. better than the movie.
It made far more sense than Seagal's movies and as far as I can tell you didn't murder anyone for absolutely no reason during it.
He called him " Big Papa" and you know this is exactly what Seagal told them to call him at all times, even off the set.
That's William Atherton btw, he went from Ghostbusters, Die Hard and The Pelican Brief..to this. It's a living, i guess
Could be worse. Imagine if Segal asked him to call him 'Big Daddy'
The first rule of a Steven Seagal movie:
Someone speaks about how awesome Seagal is.
While in a strip club...
And attracts women in an instant
Brad Pitt is quite a good actor but the scripts always had him taking shirt off after he started sporting a built look for his parts. That same glorification seen often on facial shots with that funny looking and often miscast, DiCaprio
By someone you mean every one on his side right 😂
@@Chasm9 great entertainment lol
OMG I almost died at the Notorious PIG line
He loves it when you call him Big Popeyes...
Steven John Assanti is also a Notorious P.I.G.
Throws his hands in the air cuz he’s a buffet slayer
He drinks every single milkshakes in the yard.
He's much better in Top gut 2 and Prone strike.
“I admire and respect Steven Seagal for maintaining a level of calm that no one can possibly have, and I love how his movements are so delicate yet precise. Almost like a kung-fu master, I might say.”
-Steven Seagal
"I m the reincarnation of buddha"
Steven seagull.... for real :)
From one great man to another.
😂
The funniest part of this comment is that I had to click *read more*, only to see it attributed to steven Seagal 😂
there is some dumb people here wow! ok, listen up, he's got a 7th degree dan belt in aikido! he was trained by a well know japanese master in japan starting at the age of 7, he then took over his father in laws aikido school and taught the japanese their own martial arts style, you dumb people listen to all the bs that jealous people spew, yes he sucks at acting, but actually very good at martial arts, so he made a million B grade movies and got semi rich. my point being, he would actually kick everyone's asses unless they were at least a second degree belt in some offensive style . bet you wouldn't fight him lol you might say you would but you would chicken out. sorry but what you've heard and been told is not even close to the truth, he's the real deal guys
The problem with just having discovered Space Ice is you realise there is only a finite amount of it, and now you must ration his videos on Segal.
This channel provides the rare flat out loud uncontrollable belly laughing that you don’t even get from many professional comedian Netflix specials.
Bravo, Space Ice.
Dude imagine what I went through a few months ago. At least you got the recent stuff too😂😂
Agree.
I'm already watching the Seagal videos for like 4 or 5 times, but still can't get enough
The next best thing would be to review unknown crime movies with actors we never heard of.
I ran out of Space Ice Seagal videos a few days ago. 😢 Fortunately there’s Uwe Boll and plenty of direct-to-streaming garbage to keep his queue full for the next century.
If you ever feel bad about yourself, at least you're not Steven Segal. 😊
Unless.......you are.
I needed this today, thank you.
That's why he takes out as many Unarmed civilians as possible, To make himself feel younger 🤦♂️
Raise by an abusive, drug addict. Forced into a biker gang as a kid. Lived on the streets for a decade, trying to pull myself up.
I can attest that this though WILL get you through hell. "I'm not Segal" has gotten me through more dark times than Jesus.
He's got more money than us combined though.
I never get tired of Seagal moving fatly around corners, killing as many people as he can. He's a living legend... in his own mind.
I hope Steven Segal sees himself on CumTown one day
Of course he's a legend. Don't you know that he studied Akido for 98 years and taught Bruce Lee?
@@TammoKorsai Steven Seagal writes movies about a guy who says "yeah I'd totally do that in a fight" in his head... his shitty movies literally do nothing but fuel his own ego
“moving fatly”
Beautiful.
"moving fatly around corners" 😂😂💀💀
“Now there is no question who is the most desirable man in Japan is”, “You’ll never guess who wrote the script” Space Ice is hidden gem of TH-cam
"It was actually a woman and not a duel" - that line made my lose all control over my body
Let's all appreciate Space Ice risking his mental health every time he watches a Segal movie for us so we don't have to 🙏🏾
Amen to that. I don't know anyone that can put themselves through that much torture.
Wud've never ever ever watched a Seagal movie, even for the laffs this gentleman gives me. He's a treasure for sure.
May the force be with you 🖐🏻
Too late I watched it the other night 😢
It was funny the first time it was said sorry for being a dick bit it's just everyone of these videos about Seagal you can but ypur life this comment with be on the thread.i know I'm a ass but I guess I hate predictability.
“Seagal goes full Micheal Fatley” 😂😂 Please never stop Space Ice
I thought that was a typo. Now i get it
I had to google that reference
In the role of Micheal Fatley - Notorious P.I.G. !😂
That was God level satire there.
I wish I could like this more than once it was that good.
"He goes full Michael Fatley and throws Bono's washed-up ass out of the window" - pure poetry, sir Ice 👏👏
OH my shit! That bit killed me too!
Can you tell me the name of the song that plays on that part?
@@marcust478 Ronan Hardiman - Cry of the Celts
@@GrinningMoth Thank you!
@@marcust478 No problem. If you like the song you should check out the whole Lord of the Dance album, it's very good.
"They've been sent by the CIA on a covert mission to secretly record Burmese women going potty" 😂😂😂😂😂😂
"I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol." - an actual quote by Seagal
Even those that lay in the gutter, or in this case shuffle waving their hands around, can look at the stars.
Oh boy he really believes that he is a sex symbol 😂😂😂😂😂😂
3 strikes and yyyeeerrrr owtta there.
Lmao fr?
more like a sexual predator symbol
'None of this has anything to do with the rest of the movie, and it's never mentioned again' has become the most common stock phrase in discussing Steven Seagal movies, particularly the opening scenes.
I say it @ work pm when something mentioned am fails to materialize
@@LIONTAMER3D Thinking you're in a movie is definitely a good way to get through a work day.
Yeah haha!
I actually wish Seagal would never stop putting out movies just so we can continue to have these videos you make of him lol
unfortunately, our collective fears are unwarranted, he a fiend for that guac
Since he in russia, he can get sponsored by wagner writing war movie scripts for seagarl.
looks like 20219 is the last time Steven Seagal released a film.
I think hes done.
the man is 71 years old
@@mindtaker299 Do not underestimate Steven Seagal's ability to continue the money laundering process we call his career
Seagal will keep it up. Dude’s got rent to pay.
Just recently found this channel. I didn't know I needed this in my life. These Segal breakdowns are hilarious
if steven seagal had at least an OUNCE of self awareness, he could've become one of the BEST comedic actors of all time
if he suddenly dressed normal acted normal and said the last 25 yearshe was trolling and he got us, i might actually believe him. if he were doing a meta bit, he would truly be the greatest actor in the world.
Or a sense of humour. Which he is famous for NOT having 😂
He was pretty funny in Machete.
He was actually pretty funny in The Onion Movie where he played a parody of himself called "Cock Puncher" in a series of fake trailers. But, to be far, he may have thought he was filming a serious movie the whole time.
that's a really really big "IF"
"After needlessly killing the janitor... And this gay couple. He takes it too the next level, and just starts blindly firing around corners" 😂😂😂.
Space Ice is a legend I swear
You can't blame Stephen Segal when this movie was obviously based on real events that happened in his life.
It was a movie? Oh no I was sure it was a documentary with actual footages of Seagal in Japan for CIA.
@@RR_theproahole lol
Big Poppa Steven Seagal is always getting called in, either by CIA, FBI, or KFC to get to work on a really big case.
Who is Stephen Segal?..your accountant?
Those in the know will understand how funny your comment is 😅😅😅
I just love that there is an obligatory scene, in every movie, where people tell him how awesome he is. 😂😂😂
"Big Papa"!
"You look younger and taller" 🥹
" you are a legend "
Aspiring Actor: "I always wanted to be in movies"
Talent Agent: "I have a Steven Seagal script here"
Aspiring Actor: "I always wanted to be a garbageman"
Talent Agent: You got the job then
Talent Agent: "You have to get your ass kicked by Seagal"
Aspiring Actor: "I think I'll take my mom's advice and become a plumber instead"
Nice! That works on multiple levels.
Synergy!
“Walks like a black man.. breathes like a killer” 😂
Walk and breathe like a sea lion
That's syphilis.
An "all you can eat buffet killer"
"The notorious P.I.G. heads to the crime scene..."
Of all your hilarious commentary on Segal movies, this line really got me. 😂😂😂
I came to comment that thank you for already saying what I was thinking 😂
Is because that guy called him big Poppa 🤣🤣🤣
I love how he tries to always show he's not a simp, but he's so disconnected that it just comes as straight mental abuse and sexual harassment.
Did you know that Seagal who claimed several times to have went to the Vietnam War actually flee to Japan in 1971 or 1973 to avoid being call in the War because he was between 19 to 21 years old at the time.
Lol.
he was special forces. He said so himself.
Vietnam was lucky. If Seagal was there, not a single men or child would've been left alive, and not a single woman left unfondled.
It's always the ones who brag that didn't actually do anything
@Joe Mama Special gut forces, I guess, as he runs away or shits im his pants.
“Which is a super awkward conversation to have in front of your side chick” 😂😂💀
0:50 It's funny how Seagal always tries to portray himself as a good guy by saving a woman at the start of his movies, but then spends the rest of the movie killing innocent people and being inappropriate around every other woman he comes across.
I can't get over this scene from 6:17, Seagal peeps on a girl, crashes on her neighbours, murders them, flips a table, refuses to elaborate and leaves. Poetry in motion.
What about the Chinese man gave his daughter to Seagal for no reason at all, and then he dragged this girl along for his murder spree while his fiancée was killed... Wtf was going on.
@@yuuya2111School Girls......
its funny how seagal thinks moving your hands fast makes you look like you know what your doing
In reality, it looks like pattycakes played by People who don't know the rules
Well, there's not much else he can get to move fast 🤣
@@Iron-Bridge only thing faster than his hands is how fast he's breathing after doing the " fights" and the people walking away from him after a scene with him
@@A_Haunted_Pancake that's hilarious 😂😆, yep it does look like that, in fast motion, 😂
It's called fakeonedo. ☮️
“This has nothing to do with movie and it’s never mentioned again”
Best part of each video.
"you look younger and taller" said the older man and then presents his daughter "now she is yours" like wtf 😂
"You deserve her for being so young and tall"
🤣😂
This guy is super funny. He has really nailed the comical ludicrous nature of seagal films. He ruthlessly reduces the entire flick to a pointless farce. Which it is!
I love Steven Segal movies... presented by Space Ice.
It's the only way to watch those.
@@georgehenderson7783 I once saw Steven Segal movie. It took me a week to recover.
Seagal really is all about improving his craft. It seems he made an effort to actually stand up in this movie for more than a minute at a time.
It s his body double
this looks early 00's. he hadn't reached his peak humpty dumpty O-shaped goatee seagal final form yet.
One really has to appreciate Seagal's dedication to the art of Bu-Shit-Su
@@mgb4692 don't forget his mastery of office-chair jutsu.
Don't forget about how he looks younger and taller......and the chicks still dig Big Papa !!!!!!!!!.....Chick's + Segal = Chemistry !!!!!
I used to be a huge Seagal fan, because he never loses and always beats up the bad guys. I was 12 back then.
same, when i was a kid i never really understood any of the plot (now as explained they don't make sense), but i liked his movies because he always wins!
@@mecharoo Exactly. The whole formula is very appealing when you're a child, when you get older it starts feeling cringe. I mean even the powerrangers got a beating before they took down the bad guys.
I'm glad you've grown out of it, now that you're 14.
@@PantsofVance I wish I was still 14. I'm actually pushing 30. 😂
I think you'd like Marvel movies then
" Seagal's girlfriend surprises him with a group of innocent teens for him to viciously attack". . . 😂😂😂😂 This guy is the best ever🤣
When did he say girlfriend?
@@AHP10 the narrator said it somewhere in the. Just watch it again.
@@TheOneOnthisrock he said partner
Any day with a new Space Ice upload is a great day in my book!
Amen!
Unless it's a VanDam upload.
Then it is a most excellent day. Just because of the dancing.
Fùck Yeah! And if you don't agree then fùck you.
It's a scary thought that will give you nightmares, but the people who actually watch every Steven Seagal movie and think they're awesome, roam amongst us in everyday life.
They're my alltime favorite movies
They're called disabled, have some tact.
Especially here in Brazil. I guess the dubbing makes it less worse because you can actually understand what the dubber (and Seagal's dubber is VERY good at dubbing characters; I think he's basically in almost 99% of the dubbings of Sylvester Stallone's movies btw) is saying, unlike Seagal's mumblings... But yeah, I feel you.
There is a guy at my gym who rants and raves about him and his movies. He knows the lines, tries the 'fighting' moves and thinks he's a sex magnet for women.
And yes, he has taken a few blows to the head. Thousands too many; worst mma practitioner going...
@@thatcanada Some years ago, I was in a Florida jail for a five month stretch for a drunk and disorderly situation; the one television in the dorm had various channels and rarely would any of the 60+ inmates agree on what to watch. But damn near EVERY guy in there would agree to sit and watch the Steven Segal movies that came on the TBS channel. They would marvel at Segal in an un-ironic way..... Many of these cats were mentally ill and emotionally effed-up, really some of them should have been put in a mental facility for treatment, but Florida is not big on rehabilitation.... Point being, I think Segal convincingly attracts those of weak moral character and of questionable mental state.
I love how pretty much every roast of a Segal movie includes the line, "...this has nothing to do with the rest of the movie, AND IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN."
The "MEGA BLOCKBUSTER" part gets me EVERY.SINGLE.TIME!
"...is the Steven Seagal mega blockbuster movie where he showed the world..."
I have come to love that opening to these videos. I'll never forget it!
hit movie, of course
😂😂😂
Fun fact:
The last video to use the plain "[...] is a Steven Seagal movie" was the Good Man (December 24th, 2022). The first video to use the awesome "[...] is a Steven Seagal MEGA BLOCKBUSTER HIT MOVIE" was Black Dawn (Jan 20th 2023).
Space Ice is single handedly giving Steven Seagal a career resurgence 🙌🏿
Plot twist...Space Ice IS Steven Seagal!
Not really. Seagal's movies make no profit, so they have to be money laundering schemes.
69th like for this comment, dudes! He'll yeah! Thats twice today already!!
for me it was the cum town bit.
WHY IS SEAGAL ALWAYS GOING TO STRIP CLUBS?
Cuz he's a mature adult and he's into "adult" shit if you didn't know. Also, did you know all women go crazy for him? Like they just can't resist his low Tes- i mean high testosterone masculine body lolol
It's where he was concieved, ha!
You have to admit Seagal has admirable qualities.. like his determination.. despite his utter lack of talent at acting, directing, and most importantly fighting, he won't give up on making action movies.. despite being one of the saddest and most pathetic creatures ever, he wouldn't stop trying to convince you that women actually care about him..
Afaik his movies are just used for money laundering, so the quality isn't important as long as they pass as legitimate movies. Also, by this point, there seems to be a huge number of Seagal haters that watch those movies precisely because they are so bad. In the end it's like in the internet - as long as people click, you are winning.
Well people didn't think he was a joke until around 2005. He was badass in the 80s and 90s.
@@soitsanightmare people thought he was a badass, maybe.. in reality Seagal knows next to nothing about martial arts and aikido is bullshit
@@soitsanightmare I never liked him nor his movies, be that 80s, 90s or 2005+
@@soitsanightmare He was a joke by the late 90s
Space ice is honestly the most entertaining channel on YT thank you good sir
Yes! I was literally binging some of your Steven Seagal reviews this morning.
Nice to see a new one release. They give me life. :)
What superb display of masterful writing, top tier editing and what could only be generational levels of talent in acting.
Your video review that is. Who knows what the hell's going on in Seagal's movies.
Or in seagal's head 🧠
I nearly died choking on my coffee after laughing so hard.
Why do people even try to drink when watching Space Ice?
@@TammoKorsaiBecause it's fun... do shots at every "anyways!"
Or drink at every strip club scene
Dude, I'm quickly becoming a fan of your absurd put-on voice and hilarious scripts!
A Space Ice weekly upload clears out the depression, the same way Steven Seagal clears out the buffet.
😂😅😂
"You'll never guess who wrote it..."
*Story by Steven Seagal*
well that explains it...
"And in case you forgot..."
*story by STEVEN SEAGAL*
"The Notorious P.I.G." is the best insult I've heard thrown Seagal's way.
That one slayed me.
They didn’t even try to hide the bright red blank adapter on seagulls rifle lol!
That "Michael Fatley" quip with the edited footage to make it look like he's dancing was enough to send me into a spiral
wait, he walked in entire movie without using body doubles....................
Big hand for SEAGAL sensei right there.
He was younger and thinner then...
“I know who killed my family…Japanese Tyler Durden” had me folded 😂
This movie is actually secretly brilliant because it's a critique of Japanese politics and Steven Seagal symbolizes Western Colonialization of Japanese culture...
Or at least that's what my film school professor once told me.
Was it professor Seagal?
@@jawe2456 from Yale.
@@jawe2456 That's Doctor Professor Seagal to us regular humans.
@@jawe2456 how did you know?!
@@civil_villainforgot Sensei
You’re a real one Space Ice. We all know you have to watch these atrocities more than once to get all the info you share . Thanks for sparing us all the torture and making us belly laugh
Who else was waiting and got satisfied when Space Ice mentioned "But whatever" and "it's never mentioned again"😂😂
When life is hard and I’m carrying a heavy load, I watch this show and laugh my ass off.
Thank you. I laugh over and over when I listen to your summaries of Seagal's movies. You'd think after 1 or 2, your commentary would not be as funny but it always is. I especially like how you are able to always find examples of him shooting without aiming and killing of innocent bystanders in every movie.
You've inadvertently made Seegull man a legend with your videos. I think he is literally more known from your vids than his own.
Seafood Seagal no-scopes the entire country of Myanmar, and doesn't reload once. He is truly walking with an air of confidence that is rarely seen in this day and age.
I want to know how Eddie George ended up in the movie.
@@urcookin remember the Titans?😂😂😂😂
There should be a Seagall DVD collection with your added commentary over each one.
-"We found your fiance dead" which is a super awkward conversation to have in front of your sidechick 💀💀
There should be a Steven Seagal kiosk at the State Fair where you pay to get your picture taken while Steven Seagal sits in an office chair and pretends to slap fight with you.
He has a 3m statue of him sitting in tokyo
@@moulibeu 😂 Thank you for that knowledge nugget 😂
"It was actually a woman and it wasn't a duel" lol
🤣🤣🤣
Steven Segal needs to receive an oscar and nobel peace prize.... simply for throwing bono out a window.
I'm glad he pointed out Steven Seagal wearing all black in the jungle!
Like that's negative camo in Metal Gear 😂
I have been waiting for this. Got worries something bad happened to space ice. Almost felt like I had to use my very specific lack of skills to help him
My explanation about the delay - I assume it has to be that: th-cam.com/video/cWREZhVAjWE/w-d-xo.html&lc=Ugzoc_hRnBHxW0HKgL94AaABAg
Seagal's movies are like a fever dream
Nowhere near that good my bro...
You spelled "shit" with 5 letters.
Yeah, a COVID19 fever dream.
Just found your channel and after about 2 videos you already have achieved Legend status.
You should be the lone voice for every upcoming movie trailer and the only one who reviews every movie after they come out. Oh yes, also, and i feel like I can speak for all your fans and say Just go ahead and narrate all of our daily lives….Please and thank you
In the next movie written by steven seagal, a female only school principal will tell seagal that all the girls there are now his property because of how cool and badass he is, not to mention he looks younger and stronger than ever!
Don't forget "taller"
@@avneel yes, also dont forget, he has the biggest pp in that whole school
I wonder how many Oscars and Grammys poor Steven has been deprived of, as he is quite talented and just misunderstood.
What are you talking about? He got all of them, oscar grammy nobel price....
I never thought the day would come where I'd be happy about a new Steven Seagal movie coming out. But after watching this channel I wish he'd release as many films as possible.
same💯
@@Godson0771 Satan: Challenge Accepted
God: What have you done...
Seagal's women have the same survival rate as Paul Kersey's in the Death Wish series.
Yes !! Brand new video. Just found this channel a week ago and I’ve watched every video at least 3 times and laugh every time. Thanks Space Ice for all the JCVD joy you bring us
I totally love the realism of Japan being the most brutal and crime filled country in the world. I actually think that Stephen singlehandedly doubled the murders in the whole country for that year in one cool mother effing movie..
I discovered this channel like 2 days ago and I am Binge-watching all of your clips for hours. Thanks for all the laughter, man! Great Job!
Welcome bro
This is my new favorite channel. Funny stuff. I had absolutely no idea Seagal has made so many movies. I don’t understand how someone could sit through anyone of them
Eddie wasn't only a running back and kind of a movie star, he's now coaching football at TSU, which is a school in which two students are shot by other students is considered a slow week. Seriously it's like they somehow managed to transport a part of Memphis and just plopped it down in Nashville.
TSU isn’t even remotely that bad
Kiss his ass already he didn't win the super bowl he lost by an inch just a finger tip
"Explain to him, how a Japanese guy killed another Japanese guy, in Japan." Lol. Classic.
This is the first one of these you have done that actually caused me brain damage 😂 Like we know there are going to be 3-4 subplots in Seagal movies that are completely unrelated but this time Seagal take it to double figures. Someone with video editing skills should see if they could simply take scenes and plots from several Seagal movies, put them together and see if they could make a movie that makes more sense and is better than any actual Seagal movie. I mean, no adding or anything, literally just cut and paste. Give it a catchy title like: "Seagal finally makes sense". 😂
Call it Sensi Sensibility.
1:23 wtf is up with the red plastic tip on sensei seagull's ak47? Is it a toy gun?
I thought so too but it was some kind of red fabric tied around the barrel, for some reason lol