Are you going through the dark night of the soul?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 207

  • @TheHolisticPsychologist
    @TheHolisticPsychologist  ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I hope you all enjoyed this one! My private healing community SelfHealers Circle opens Jan 3rd. I only open this offering 3 times a year and it's an incredible community away from social media. You'll have access to exclusive content, workshops from the greatest minds in the healing space, and tons of live events. Spaces do sell out, so to avoid disappointment secure your spot on the waitlist here: selfhealerscircle.com

    • @mexigirl64
      @mexigirl64 ปีที่แล้ว

      On the waitlist since December 5, looking forward to being part of the circle❤

    • @heathercrane
      @heathercrane 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm going through it now. Thanks for sharing this. I really need it

  • @nikkispina3450
    @nikkispina3450 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    Currently going through this. I feel so disconnected from myself like idk who I am anymore. It’s hard for me to accept this because I feel like I have more questions than answers 😞 please pray for me.

    • @TheHolisticPsychologist
      @TheHolisticPsychologist  ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I think so many of us (myself included) can relate. It's really scary to be going through this and to not have all the answers. I hope this video brings some solace.

    • @nikkispina3450
      @nikkispina3450 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@TheHolisticPsychologist all of your videos have helped & taught me many things. Please keep sharing this content 🤩❤️

    • @neva.2764
      @neva.2764 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      You'll be fine.
      Journaling might be helpful. In particular when you question everything, including yourself.
      Spending as much time in nature as you possibly can is grounding, relaxing and healing. Talk to the trees. They are sentient anx they listen.
      There's nothing wrong with being in transition. You're no longer your old self and nog yet your new self. The in between phase is part of the expansion of your consciousness.
      A caterpillar doesn't change into a butterfly from one day to the next either. It also goes through a transitioning phase.
      Michael A. Singer has good content on surrendering. It might be helpful 🫂

    • @MothmanBaddie
      @MothmanBaddie ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am sending you love, darling ♥️

    • @nikkispina3450
      @nikkispina3450 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@neva.2764 thank you SO much ❤️ I really needed to hear your words.

  • @Jt-Jt
    @Jt-Jt ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I went through this at the beginning of 2022 for months. It gets much better and easier. Looking back, the thing that I wish someone would have told me was “sit and feel your feelings” and “don’t think about your feelings. Feelings are meant to felt. When you think and go down rabbit holes, you are only thinking about thoughts, not reality. Meanwhile aggravating yourself.” Thank you for this video. I felt so alone when I went through it and I thought I was sabotaging myself and was scared to mess up. Then, I learned that the only way to mess up is to try to run from it or make the feelings go away, because that only brings aggravating feelings. I guess I was scared to feel that way forever. It doesn’t last forever dear friend.

    • @LouiseMannigel
      @LouiseMannigel ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks for your comment. Yes! You're right! I am going through it now, and I am wrestling over my feelings, thinking "Oh god, why am I feeling this way? What does it mean? What should I do?" instead of just feeling them.

  • @dannomusic47
    @dannomusic47 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think I’m pretty much in a permanent state of this condition.
    The pandemic became a convenient excuse to pretty much withdraw almost completely.
    I now spend 95% of my time alone and I don’t really know almost anyone that I want to spend any time with. Most people I ever encounter seem to be almost totally preoccupied with themselves and there is nothing enriching about interactions with them. We all need to be heard sometimes but when the person sitting across from you repeatedly only talk about themselves and are never interested in anything about you-no genuine back and forth-then it just ends up depleting my good will towards others.

  • @lyrabloodwolf2171
    @lyrabloodwolf2171 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Had this happen to me when I was 16. Having severe flashbacks to abuse, blacking out/dissociating constantly, always triggered, afraid to interect with the world, suicidal thoughts, feeling like literally everyone around me was out to hurt or lie to me. Eventually I had a mental breakdown and stopped leaving the house. I got into homeschooling for the rest of my schooling years but I never left the house for anything but doctor appointments. It lasted until I was 22 when a therapist finally said something that snapped me out of it: “We put prisoners in isolation because they’re being punished for something. Why do you feel like you need to punish yourself?” It was what made me realize how badly traumatized I was, that the deep guilt I had wasn’t my fault and was entirely the fault of my parents not giving me a safe environment to grow up in. I’m trying to thrive now at 28 and finally out of my abusive situation. It’s hard but worth it.

  • @GwendaConnects
    @GwendaConnects ปีที่แล้ว +41

    I have had many dark nights. Each one took me to a new level yet they all include a yearning for more connection

    • @thelovechannel7236
      @thelovechannel7236 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same here ❤ our souls yearn for connection and American culture is so afraid of it . We’re all crying out for this .

  • @niledavis1860
    @niledavis1860 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    My ex split up with me at the end of April. I'm an addict and I relapsed on my drugs of choice (crack and Heroin), I was over 3 years clean. I'm starting the grieving process and starting the healing process. I'm reading your book How To Do The Work and also having EMDR therapy to deal with my childhood trauma. Each day, I do something kind for myself and I'm pushing out of my comfort zones. I am now over 2 months clean and I'm finding clarity and acceptance. Thank you for your books and videos ❤️

    • @TheHolisticPsychologist
      @TheHolisticPsychologist  ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I'm so proud of you for committing to your healing, you got this.

    • @niledavis1860
      @niledavis1860 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Thank you! I'm on the waiting list for Selfhealers circle and I'm looking forward to when my spot becomes available

    • @OldSawmill007
      @OldSawmill007 ปีที่แล้ว

    • @sweariefaerie9621
      @sweariefaerie9621 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Proud of you for coming back to recovery after your relapse. I know that couldn't have been easy. But you're doing this. You're prioritizing your health, and that's not always a comfortable place to work from. So I hope you're proud of the work you're continuing to commit to, and that you have support when the road gets rough.
      (Reminder! Recovery is rarely linear, but each step is an achievement! Please be as gentle with yourself as possible!❤)

    • @nazila5972
      @nazila5972 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So proud of you! Well done in choosing better way. Jesus saved my soul, I trust you find your peace and happiness in Him too.

  • @aaronjohn6586
    @aaronjohn6586 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    The operative word here is "through". Its really challenging when it seems like your world is collapsing in on you. What has helped me through is to keep grinding, not ignore what I was feeling but do 1 little thing that brings light into my life. I make my bed every day, and just "be" with where I am at.

    • @TheHolisticPsychologist
      @TheHolisticPsychologist  ปีที่แล้ว +9

      That's really the "secret"

    • @aaronjohn6586
      @aaronjohn6586 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@TheHolisticPsychologistAs Andy said in the Shawshank Redemption "Hope is a good thing."

    • @artifundio1
      @artifundio1 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​​@@aaronjohn6586I believe that I sort of used many movies to re-parent myself. That one, is one of the main ones. It made me reflect on so much things about my way of conducting myself, and helped me to understand a bit of the art of war and negotiation. With yourself and with others.
      This movie made me understand and appreciate "growing up".
      Hope IS a good thing ❤ thanks for bringing it back

    • @suziebee4240
      @suziebee4240 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Sometimes, i feel the house has to crumble, so you can crawl and get out "through" the rubble. If the house is looking okay from the outside, though it is one more incident away from total destruction, then you can open the door and walk in and out of the house many times, but theres not a metaphorical "through" to get to.
      That was my life. Only when i stopped being strong, only when i allowed the negative impacts to cripple me, did I finally get the justification that this relationship is not good for me. If i endured for a few more decades, id have died of disease and telling myself im weak.

  • @shannongoodenow0
    @shannongoodenow0 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I feel this. Numb, and scared.

  • @mariec.9102
    @mariec.9102 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    12/13/23 - i can't yet get past the first 30 seconds of this video because she just revealed the past 4 years of my sad, isolated and painful life...
    I know I'm coming back to watch the whole video today, but right now... I'm just not strong enough.

    • @nicolebaptista6490
      @nicolebaptista6490 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      me too

    • @beautyinyoga
      @beautyinyoga 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It is difficult but you come out so much stronger, self aware and I am a million times so grateful that I took the time to develop a relationship with myself and allow myself time to evolve and forgive myself what I thought was being selfish. Surrender to yourself

  • @katem.7982
    @katem.7982 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    ❤ Turns out I'm normal.

  • @vickyclark4891
    @vickyclark4891 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I am currently going through this just now. I became a reiki grandmaster and done my first ever client and after initiating them for the first time the dark night of the soul appeared for me. I am sitting back watching everything crumble, but i trust the universe is doing this for my higher good. It's dark, though. Very dark. I can't wait to get to the other side. Feels like a heavy stuck depression but also a knowing it's temporary. Thank you for your video it has helped me tonight.

  • @Rizakkaur888
    @Rizakkaur888 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I have been feeling very emotional and nothing like my old self. So much coming to the surface. Childhood abuse, anger, grief! It’s too much. Help me dear god! ❤

  • @jb-ze1yh
    @jb-ze1yh ปีที่แล้ว +40

    I went through this in 2020 and still having little after shocks. I am nothing like my former self anymore. Years as years of trauma to shed. Thanks for talking about this. It’s a true blessing even when it feels like a curse. 🙏

  • @lasphynge8001
    @lasphynge8001 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I know exactly what you mean, I went through one, maybe two phases like this, years ago. I call them my pupating phases. You did mention a cocoon, so that's on theme. It's really that withdrawal from the world you were used to, but also rearranging parts of yourself and not feeling quite cohesive and functional as a person for a while. It was an oddly comforting metaphor to think of, for me to get through this phase where I didn't recognize my old self anymore - which was good, as changing was the intention - but I couldn't quite see the person I was working on becoming just yet either... I felt very "half baked" if you will. It helped to tell myself I was "pupating" and not to dwell on what it looked like at the moment, like caterpillars halfway transformed into butterflies are probably also in a pretty messy and undefined state, but to keep working on who I wanted to become.

    • @LazarusFeels
      @LazarusFeels 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hi, I came across this comment of yours, and wanted to request some perspective.
      I went through 1 such phase in my personal / emotional space - I have moved through this well. All my relationships have improved and my decades of anxiety has dissolved - and I am extremely grateful for this (I am 33, and have dealt with severe anxiety since I was ~ 13 years old).
      With my career however, I am feeling uncertain of how to move forward, given this new ability to connect with myself. I feel continuously in the pupating phase - like you said. Its been about a year. I would really appreciate if you could share any perspective.

    • @lasphynge8001
      @lasphynge8001 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@LazarusFeels Firstly congratulations on finding yourself! I'm glad you sorted out so much and I sympathize deeply with the anxiety struggle.
      I am not sure if I have much advice in the way of professional choices, I don't know you or your situation and to be honest, it has been a big source of questions and anxiety for me too when I was younger. So I'll try and say something helpful but I'm in no way a reference, really.
      In my case, I have found the right career kind of serendipitously. It has nothing to do with my academic training and initial "plans", but I'd lie if I said that was a conscious choice on my part too. The truth is immigration matters forced me to take a job that ended up leading to new opportunities. I had initially migrated for a relationship that didn't work out, but I ended up staying in the country anyway, because I found myself liking living here... After a while I met someone new, now I'm in a long standing and very healthy relationship, we bought a house and everything. I'm saying this to emphasize the chance factor in my path, both professional and personal: what I found wasn't what I was initially seeking or how I envisioned it, but in the end it's much better. I tried out opportunities that worked with my current situation and sounded like a good enough fit for me in the moment, sometimes with good reason, sometimes I was disappointed, so I adjusted and changed stuff, and moved on. I leaned into the parts of the jobs I liked the most and built a small experience and reputation that led me to new opportunities, nothing crazy, but a step forward each time, and I ended up in a place I like well enough. It boils down to something kind of basic after all: trying out various scenarios, pausing and assessing it every once in a while, and progressively keeping what is a fit for me and changing or leaving what isn't...
      It took me about a decade, I'm not saying it will take as much for you, and also, I wasn't miserable the whole time, but I was trying things out and it was a process. I'm no longer attached to a set idea about what the end result is supposed to look like, I use that connexion to my true self to feel out things and adjust on the fly.
      But then again, I also know people who took a more deliberate and planned approach, like thinking about a goal in advance, taking an adult course and changing career more dramatically and purposefully, and they're successful too. I'm just saying if the latter is too intimidating or unfeasible for you, it's okay to give it time and to operate change bit by bit, if you're not sure where you're headed to or not safe to do a dramatic 180 turn.
      One year feels very long, but it's not that much in the greater scheme of things, so don't beat yourself up. You've been busy actualizing your private life, you can't always change everything at once. If it's your own pace, it's the right pace. Just keep trying, and trust the process.
      (I don't know... does that help at all?)

    • @LazarusFeels
      @LazarusFeels 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@lasphynge8001 It does help - a bit more than I can explain why or how so much :) I have already read your response a few times now. What you've written is first and foremost reassuring - it gives me a sense that the puzzle is solvable and the pieces will fit over a longer period of time. I am putting the changes under a microscope and can do well to step back a bit.
      Like the parts around not worrying too much about how it looks from the outside, being comfortable with my pace, and how 1 year is small in the bigger scheme of things.
      I especially value your advice/experience sharing around this one aspect - "use that connexion to my true self to feel out things and adjust on the fly" - I have been a long-range-goal person previously. That probably causes me to assume that I'll be locked-for-life into whatever I choose next. But, tiny steps may be what works better for me right now. Thats something for me to try out!
      Thankyou again for wording this. I'll probably come back to this later too. :)

    • @callmejoeben
      @callmejoeben 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I relate to this so much. Thank you for sharing these words.❤

  • @nataliesirota2611
    @nataliesirota2611 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Yes, I have been through this, about a year ago. It was so incredibly difficult and painful, dredging up things from the past I never knew existed. However, I can testify that what is on the other side, the clarity, letting go, finding the me I can truly love is AMAZING! Don't ignore it, walk that dark path, because what is on the other side is more wonderful than anything you ever imagined wholeness could be!

    • @LazarusFeels
      @LazarusFeels 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hi, I am so happy for you. For having made your way through.
      I have felt the light in my personal space (all my relationships have improved) - but in some areas of my life - I have felt a sense of not knowing what direction to choose. My life seems to have come to a stand still. Could you share any perspective.

  • @debracornwell1156
    @debracornwell1156 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Such a great name for these feelings. I’m in year 5 of this. Stuck in fight or flight. I’m hanging on by a thread.

    • @TheHolisticPsychologist
      @TheHolisticPsychologist  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I think so, so many of us feel the same way.

    • @neva.2764
      @neva.2764 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Are you sure you're going through a dark night of the soul? This sounds like something else to me...
      You may want to check content about the vagus nerve. It's a very important long nerve that has a lot to do with feeling safe. Deb Dana wrote about it. There are others too.
      Also TRE (tension release exercices) might be helpful. It's a gentle way to release pent up energy from the body.
      Make sure to identify what causes your fight of flight response. Too much cortisol can f#%k up your body...

    • @debracornwell1156
      @debracornwell1156 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@neva.2764 cortisol. I will get more information. Anything recommended is worth researching. Thank you.

    • @SA-px3ln
      @SA-px3ln ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@neva.2764I feel sameway years when you are in dark night soul brings up all trauma it’s your vagus nerve and nervous system shuts down. It’s so hard

  • @LaKishaWilson-qd9gy
    @LaKishaWilson-qd9gy ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I went through this in 2021. It was scary. I felt so isolated and disconnected. I questioned everything. I felt like no one understood me. I felt like my purpose on Earth was not being fulfilled. Now I'm in a new season of life, post divorce, healing and growing. Feeling some of those dark night of the soul "symptoms" resurfacing. Thank you for speaking on this topic.

  • @vasyanevasya1310
    @vasyanevasya1310 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Oooh this is such a thing. I feel like I've been stuck in this phase for a couple of years now, trying to navigate through it with mindfulness. Quite a journey and still got a long way ahead
    The peculiar thing about it for trauma survivors is that given that a lot of things that make one's "authentic self" are developed during childhood, when this process has been disrupted by trauma later on you don't really know whether you're disconnected from your authentic self or some parts of it just aren't developed altogether and you've got to develop them now. And you don't really know if some parts of your authentic self have been just deeply suppressed and blocked out during years spent in disconnection with yourself.
    The good thing however is that one's personality isn't set in stone and developing something you haven't aquired in childhood is possible 😔

    • @cadoho
      @cadoho 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I feel like I´ve been stuck in this phase for a few years now too. I feel like I never really had the ability to develop my true self an now I'm just so lost and feel like I don't have any identity and I don't even have any idea what I can do for self care.

    • @LazarusFeels
      @LazarusFeels 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      How is this going for you?

    • @vasyanevasya1310
      @vasyanevasya1310 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@LazarusFeels back and forth, honestly. I've definitely improved my quality of life over the course of these years and kinda continue to grow. Yet some questions remain pretty tough

    • @LazarusFeels
      @LazarusFeels 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@vasyanevasya1310 can say I relate. good luck to both of us 😀

    • @vasyanevasya1310
      @vasyanevasya1310 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@LazarusFeels yeah, good luck 👌 thank you for replaying actually. You know, recently I've seen this idea that people in therapy often have this One Thing that they're absolutely not willing to touch, like, they're ready to dig literally everything around it but not this thing, and... the hard truth is that that's actually the first thing that has to be worked on actually. Felt like I callout. Thinking about this now.
      When you're on such a long journey like this it's natural to get stuck in a rut of your comfort zone. It sucks tho that you've probably spent your entire life arranging things in a way that would allow you to absolutely avoid getting out of it. But I guess it just takes time, so... yeah, good luck to us ✌️

  • @lynnelsiebennettnoble6909
    @lynnelsiebennettnoble6909 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    OMG Lost a lot of weight and inflammation in my body. Eating better. Taking the time to enjoy sleep and warmth. Like meditating and breathing...sometimes I radiate Loving energy reaching beyond the room, strive to rise to become my finest self in order to give my gifts to the world.
    Forgive my past. Let go. Rebuild.
    New Foundation. Love

  • @missem7881
    @missem7881 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    🌷 I learned so much from your videos and I often listen more than once
    🌷 I usually describe myself as someone who copes, I say, "I cope: it's who I am and it's what I do"
    🌷 From 18 months old in a crib, I had to learn to cope or not survive and so ~ I coped.
    🌷 Now, here I am at age 69, recovering from Life Support, which no, had nothing to do with a home traumatic event, but I am learning to do everything all over again, walk, talk, chew, write my name, etc & they think I'm doing well because I was a nurse but no, I'm doing well because I cope: it's who I am and it's what I do.m
    🌷.. and I thank you for what you do for all of us
    🌷 I hope your viewers remember to watch your videos all the way to the end so that TH-cam adds them to their algorithm and this automatically promote your channel
    --Emm🌷

  • @lordfreerealestate8302
    @lordfreerealestate8302 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Always darkest before the dawn. Remember 💛

  • @lisafaser6031
    @lisafaser6031 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support and encouragement. Especially when I know you can relate yourself.
    I’m 52 and questioning just about every major decision of my life. I’m not sure what the next move is. While I’m practicing acceptance, there is an inner restlessness that is screaming “oh, just get on with it already”.
    Problem is, I don’t know what to “get on with”. I know this takes time. But right now I am so tired of constantly being uncomfortable…

  • @Twitch24
    @Twitch24 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    50 in June coming. No career I love, no home of my own and no love interest. My parents are now 80 and I'm terrified of them dying and me being kept alone. In a nutshell I'm panicking slowly.

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have been through a lot but it was falling out with my mother that i felt unable to handle. I tried to communicate something important to her and she refused to hear it. It "hurt" her that I would even TRY to communicate something important to her. It wasn't important to HER. It was "aggression" apparently. She was tge victim of my request for change. I kept trying until it became clear I would get nothing back but the cold shoulder. I'm still struggling with accepting how my mother will not participate in reciprocal communication. 70% there, but still hoping for a miracle. I do self care. I have loved and related to so many of these excellent videos.

  • @Nouzbouz
    @Nouzbouz ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I appreciate your work so much❤

  • @thelovechannel7236
    @thelovechannel7236 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m going through this AGAIN for the 3rd time . Again like yourself after I’ve accomplished everything !. I became fatigued , felt hollow , lost , no emotions (I’m usually very emotional and connected to source) . Let my casual partner go . Completely lost my sexual appetite! Started waking up at 1 am in crisis , purging emotionally , heart pounding , thoughts of suicide pleading with God to make it stop . Then comes the surrender at dawn . I took time off and added to my diet what was lacking . Took long walks , went in my jacuzzi and just sat there doing NOTHING on my sun porch . Today finally it’s over . I feel like I shed my skin , renewed. Restored . … until next time. This is the healers journey.

  • @AnaIrimiabooks
    @AnaIrimiabooks ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am there. Spiritual awakening. Not bypassing, but the real deal. The whole messy awakening, and Dark Night.

  • @francesb7515
    @francesb7515 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The Dark Night is a wake up to what is real to us vs what we are told is real and important. These nights were the most important turning points. Thank you for sharing this. I wonder if burnout is a mini dark night.

  • @cdclydesdale
    @cdclydesdale ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Already gone through this phase … I actually took a step back … got self help books …. Travelled solo and still re-learning so many things!! All I can say that it just gets more beautiful once you slowly get to connect with yourself. You might even be able to see things more clearly and move out of relationships that no longer resonate with your morals and values … it was scary at first but it’s best decision I have ever made! Thanks Nicole for the work you do!

  • @imhotepjasonduncanson6068
    @imhotepjasonduncanson6068 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you for this, it felt like this when I got depression. I felt like a completely different person and I had to deal with childhood trauma that I manger to forget about it for a long time. But now I am in a better place with my dream job and taking it one day at a time. So thank you for this informative video.

  • @hakeemrockwell1588
    @hakeemrockwell1588 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I’ve been in it since I was 17 (26 now) just started writing poetry to heal: The dark night of my soul has seemed like a bottomless bowl, but im slowly emptying that hole. Making room for a void to be filled, I know soon I will be thrilled. Sometimes I can use will, other times I just have to be still. I surrender to your timeline and will erase my own deadlines, I know your path will leave me feeling sublime. What’s mine is yours, it’s ok not to be sure when I know deep down I’m pure. I can be the architect of my own safe room, soon in that room flowers will bloom.

  • @eleanor4759
    @eleanor4759 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The other side of this is SO WORTH IT 😻

  • @mistalova24
    @mistalova24 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have been going through this at multiple stages of my life. I have started therapy this year for the first time in my life and experience overwhelming shifts and emotions. It feels like a death and it’s scary to me. Learning that this a part of healing is incredibly reassuring. Thank You !

  • @StephieGsrEvolution
    @StephieGsrEvolution ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My whole damn life!

  • @keitos18
    @keitos18 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I definitely feel this right now. I have a heaviness in my soul. I have difficulty making connections, being present, relating to others, and feel like I'm watching others live while I am stuck in a pit looking out. I am hopeful now that I've been studying this and myself. I am excited knowing that there is change possible and that I am not alone. I am starting to notice that the people in my life who drain me are noticing i am not giving them the things and energy I use to give now that I am being more selfish. Its all new to me. Its a little scary thinking i could lose more connections, but i think im okay with that. I believe once i do the work, i will be in a place where i can connect and grow.

  • @ionabarker
    @ionabarker ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I really needed to hear this today. I’ve been battling flu for a week now and I’m also grieving/ struggling with going no contact with family members. Christmas is coming up and even though now I have my chosen family, the emotional pain is very real. To feel is to heal. Surfing the wave 🌊 xx❤

  • @alliemoroney2996
    @alliemoroney2996 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I recently hit 1 year sober. And I have slowly been working on myself and I entered this stage that you are taking about and honestly I didn’t know what was going on. Now that you have explained it I feel better. I was beginning to worry I was on the verge of a breakdown.

  • @arzumardalieva3874
    @arzumardalieva3874 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m going through my dark night of the Soul now, and I feel so scared and lonely, lost… But I feel deep inside that it is right!
    I feel grateful! Many blessings 🙏🏻💜

  • @Kevin-mz1ni
    @Kevin-mz1ni 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Can't change anything you have said. Facing HELL by sitting with myself right now. However there is no more clinging to this hell anymore. Thank you. Much love. Namaste.❤🙏👍👍👍👍

  • @Pr3stss
    @Pr3stss ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Crazy timing. I moved states back to Colorado by myself to get back on track with my life goals. Back to school to become a therapist. Working full-time at a non-profit university. I’m so stressed and alone. I’m in therapy working on childhood and religious trauma. It don’t have much bandwidth or finances for socializing. It’s overwhelming. I’m happy this video was just posted.

  • @jonathanhunt371
    @jonathanhunt371 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’ve been going through it now for 6 weeks. After a brutal relationship breakup, I became acutely aware of how much of my personality had been repressed by fear, and how much of my life I was living vicariously. I felt overwhelmed, felt like I didn’t know myself at all any more, and couldn’t see anything in life that would give me meaning or pleasure. I can see these big areas in my life that now need to be developed, but don’t yet know how to manage this. Going into these new areas is difficult, because I feel absolutely no meaning in doing anything in these areas. It’s like, if I have to live life in these areas, I might as well not be alive, there’s no point. So yeah, just a day at a time, being curious, kind to myself, developing self love, a sense of connection to myself, and see where it goes!

  • @Mandance
    @Mandance 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    2nd dark night for me, 4 years in and it’s hell. I’m not sure why it’s taking so long but it’s hard to keep going feeling this bad all the time. I do feel a lot of resistance to how I feel and constantly have this belief “something is wrong with me”

  • @kimlec3592
    @kimlec3592 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Oh my Dog. This is me. .worried about not upsetting others when I am so upset myself !

  • @aprilmg7072
    @aprilmg7072 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That sweater is amazing

  • @pipwhitefeather5768
    @pipwhitefeather5768 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yes going through this. Don't know what else to say. Thanks, we do need to remember self care at these times.

  • @famstylegood3541
    @famstylegood3541 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yes, I am going through this, I don't even know why all this is happening. Thanks, I learned a lot from you about my emotions. Thankyou very much for guiding us. ❤❤❤ from 🇮🇳India

  • @sheolcodemonkey4027
    @sheolcodemonkey4027 ปีที่แล้ว

    I've been going through this for the last couple of years and it's an utterly brutal, harrowing experience. I've disconnected so much from the person I've always known myself as that I've been thinking about changing my name legally because I no longer feel like that person exists, and I'm not sure how okay with that I am. I feel like the platonic ideal of me is shedding its old form, but doesn't have a new one to go into, so it's just hanging out in the old one but not really being at all connected to it. I feel less like a person and more like a revenant trying to pass itself off as human, and all I really want anymore is to return to the peace and tranquillity of the grave

  • @sayusayme7729
    @sayusayme7729 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Grateful for these amazing messages of healing. So important because conventional medicine ( holistic)doesn’t recognize yet.
    Thank you

  • @OptimusAwakening
    @OptimusAwakening ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I feel like i am experiencing this at the moment, lots of being overwhelmed yet i still yearn to learn more about my true, authentic self.
    Thank you very much for this video.

  • @sherileyva5908
    @sherileyva5908 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow I am literally going through this and have been for about a year. How encouraging to find out that this is a normal phase of life ❤

    • @Rizakkaur888
      @Rizakkaur888 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too! Going though it for a year. It can feel very lonely sometimes! ❤

  • @kristinashepherd3003
    @kristinashepherd3003 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Going through this right now. I actually thought it was an extensional crisis but actually knew it wasn’t and described it like an extensional crisis for lack of better word . Thank you for this video. It’s been really validating as well I have been searching for exactly what I have been experiencing lately and well it’s been a struggle to figure this out.

  • @49ersfoldem
    @49ersfoldem ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I was very detached the following day of after my cousin wedding. I was high and paranoid as a groomsman. Thought about my life that night and realized I wasn’t happy neither was my girl when she noticed I haven’t quit my habit. Always being paranoid about my relationship and my life decisions. It felt like rock bottom because I didn’t change neither did I keep my word. But I realized something 12/10/23. That I was creating a shield or barrier to keep negative wicked energy out but it already was inside me. So far I’m attending to myself internal so that i can grow externally and then my shield can have a purpose.
    And thank you for helping me realize that I c-PTSD is real and I can grow from fear

    • @jacquizbak
      @jacquizbak ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Keep growing never give up or give in ~this is the fight of our life eh!?!!

    • @49ersfoldem
      @49ersfoldem ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jacquizbak Yes indeed. Life is continuous growth

  • @BJGvlogs
    @BJGvlogs 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Just like games need Maintenance break.....This dark night of the soul is a "Maintenance Break" in our life...To rest

  • @woodman444
    @woodman444 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for helping me understand. I haven't seen my daughter for over 2 years now and I've been trying to stuff it but it's too much to stuff. Thank you for your advice.

  • @Starstorm111
    @Starstorm111 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im going through it.
    I grew up conditioned by so much childhood trauma and neglect. I denied so much for me and always acted as everything is ok and I can just build up the life that I want.
    Now I see the nature of the only 2 close family I have left..and I see the neglect is heavy. I saw the true nature of this relationships and I don’t like it at all.
    When a person that was abused as a kid keeps being the therapist and helper to others and no one acknowledges any of you nor that you may need emotional support, guidance, etc.. I’m done.
    I’m sick of being surrounded by people only when things go well..
    And not being seen for who I am.. the struggle and the pain.
    Even older friends who I looked up as parental figures would say to me: I see you as a mother! 😮 I’m so sick of people sucking my energy.
    I don’t recognize myself no more. I feel 100% numb and empty inside. No inner map no reference from who I was. It vanished. It’s very terrifying mostly cause I depend only on myself.
    I can not be ok with feeling I can not function not make decisions.. it’s been months and it’s a loop of emptiness, solitude.. and meaninglessness

  • @amberhopper9501
    @amberhopper9501 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Definitely going through this right now. Feels exactly like you explained. How's this for fate.... I've been watching your videos for the last 3 months. I had a very emotionally charged day two days ago, felt like catching a plane to anywhere but where I am. Sat crying and kept staring at my bookcase at a particular book my friend had bought me 6 months ago that I hadn't even looked at, when I picked it up I recognised your name. She had bought me your book before I'd even discovered you on you tube. I picked it up and started reading and felt peace as soon as I started reading. Thank you for your content and thank you for your book ❤🙏

  • @zuhoerlady
    @zuhoerlady ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You manage to nail all my feelings and emotional stuff in such a precise way like nobody else ever did. Thank you so much! Your advice is very good. I still don't know what I wanna do and what my purpose is, but maybe someday I will and leave the dark night zone.

  • @Peita_M
    @Peita_M ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Right now I’m going through this. Giving up a dream that maybe I don’t want to pursue anymore. Entire life has been focused around this dream….

  • @awksusannehun
    @awksusannehun ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I experienced this when I gave birth to my son. I was expecting to meet a new baby but I wasn't expecting to meet a new me. Or to watch him grow and then myself grow, into the person I am meant to be. It's been incredibly painful, I have woken up to many relationships around me and toxic family systems and I'm also thankful. Idk what the future looks like which is scary, exciting and overwhelming. I have and want to show up for my son everyday and I'm starting to want to show up for myself. Thanks for the video, Dr Nicole 💛

  • @twinkleeyes711
    @twinkleeyes711 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow! This video was perfect timing. Thank you!

  • @greifzualeksi7387
    @greifzualeksi7387 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you for your magnificent work ❤

  • @KimikoMaui
    @KimikoMaui 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Amazing I went through this at early 30s. Someone said I was having a mid life crisis b4 mid life

  • @joshliam1967
    @joshliam1967 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Currently going through this, and I appreciate the reminder of how important it is to accept where we're at. As the saying goes, sometimes the only way forward is through.

  • @ericwright4804
    @ericwright4804 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Going through this right now. It’s been painful and frustrating but I have to believe that my truth will emerge. Blessings to all.

  • @valeriecalderon2993
    @valeriecalderon2993 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I am go I'm going through this. Just so very sad

  • @Dan-pd4gl
    @Dan-pd4gl 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for this, for sharing your understanding & lived experience. The inner conflict we can experience can threaten to tear us apart, it’s amazing what comes through. I remember just wanting to disappear, but realising that this hurt or discomfort- isn’t the full story. Self Acceptance & Love will work wonders, I’m still going through this and I really appreciate you sharing your story. Respecting vulnerability is strength, it’s transformational, that having the courage to look within at what’s uncomfortable, those underlying emotions that cause fear or we would rather avoid….is when we allow ourselves change. Remember….nothing can chase you if you don’t run.
    Great relatable content, just what the world needs so Thank you!

  • @chavesa5
    @chavesa5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Feels like I'm about to go through it. I've been overcoming a lot of reactive responses and already I can feel those around my world challenging me because I have started to challenge them. I'm not looking for a fight, but I know some will come to me regardless. I am strong enough to deal with it, but this is a dark night while I drift and discover who I really am now.

    • @leahfriedman6461
      @leahfriedman6461 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am going through this. But it feels like I've been stuck here for awhile. I feel like I can't be real with anyone. Like no one can see me, or wants to see or accept my true self. Maybe I can't even do that.

  • @jenmck8146
    @jenmck8146 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love your videos - they are always so helpful and reassuring. Thank you! ❤

  • @sonyaharnett_yogaessence
    @sonyaharnett_yogaessence ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So timely ..thank you .. this is giving me hope and knowing I'm not broken. Thank you so much 🙏💜

  • @rolandabellano
    @rolandabellano 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm going through the dark night of my soul right now. The journey started hard with physical issues bubbling up like breaking into hives, sleeping very late, and not wanting to engage with anyone. One of the darkest situation I am dealing with at the moment is limerence. It's a tough journey.
    However, I'm aware of the healing I am going through. I "feel" different now, as if for the first time in my life, I am living for myself. Despite the limerence issue that I am dealing with, I'd say most of my life right now feels "aligned" or at least "starting to align" with my authentic self.
    No lie, though. Confronting my shadows is NEVER EASY. It's downright uncomfortable. The constant practice of accepting myself AS IS and integrating my shadows into my entire being helps a lot. It's hard to do, though, especially when I do not recognize how I get into negative repetitive thinking until I'm right in the middle of it. Then again, it is a "practice." My goal is "progress," not perfection. The work towards healing is worth it.

  • @kindcrone
    @kindcrone ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I hope my soul stops screaming already ☮️

  • @craigharris3548
    @craigharris3548 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Def going through it. It's been over a year now

  • @shreekrishnamoorthy7460
    @shreekrishnamoorthy7460 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for this video. I need this phrase, i couldn't understand what was happening. It makes sense now.
    Just coming out of it. Was a very disorienting phase. Felt like being in a storm of emotions and even giving the space sometimes meant even more emotions.
    I can see that i am almost at the end of it. I feel lighter, i can feel my feelings and not judge them. I feel kinder to myself. I can see the world as it is and i can be as i am. I can choose to walk away from things that don't work for me and stay when i feel i would like to be there.

  • @sweariefaerie9621
    @sweariefaerie9621 ปีที่แล้ว

    This disconnect is exactly why I'm currently coming up to the half point of a 12 week therapy program based in dbt. Best decision I've ever made.

  • @aliciabrown841
    @aliciabrown841 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this video and reminding us that healing takes a lot of work. It hurts but once you have evolved it's worth it❤

  • @mirafilipovic5162
    @mirafilipovic5162 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Gewat video! Thanks foe sharing!!!

  • @katieleish2446
    @katieleish2446 ปีที่แล้ว

    not sure if you believe in Twin Flames, but my dark night of the soul started when I met them. When we physically separated. It was horrific. The love I feel for this person is beyond words can describe. The signs, synchronicities, dreams, deep feelings of pain, emptiness, etc... The universe was teaching me lessons. And each lesson came back until I mastered them, looking back now, I am extremely grateful for the experience. I continue to heal and connect with my soul. It truly was a grieving a process. I shed so much of my past self . I feel the most authentic I have ever felt. However, I know it's a life long journey and there is more work to be done.

  • @Diane_McDon
    @Diane_McDon 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    As an INFJ I’ve been in the DNOTS since childhood.

  • @ngahuiaharvey4170
    @ngahuiaharvey4170 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’ve been going through this for about two years it is not nice thank you for sharing about this subject

  • @MariaNyakern
    @MariaNyakern ปีที่แล้ว

    Your teachings are a true blessing. You speak straight to the heart. I have signed up on your SelfHealers Circle and I hope to be able to join. Thank you for sharing Nicole. It is like nothing I have heard before. Thank you so much!

  • @Karkussss
    @Karkussss ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Going through it still, little by little. Have been for many, many years actually. Significant changes have happened and I know I'm not done but I know the direction to go - i see the lighthouse beacon and it might disappear in the fog but I have my bearings.

  • @JHgth68
    @JHgth68 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Going through this tonight, this video is great timing. Looking for a new job but not sure whether I should try to find remote work or have the stamina for a traditional job again. Doing some stress eating late at night about it, when I feel I should be feeling optimistic

  • @judydayes1265
    @judydayes1265 ปีที่แล้ว

    Timing is everything. Thank you.

  • @lynnelsiebennettnoble6909
    @lynnelsiebennettnoble6909 ปีที่แล้ว

    Why is it so hard to forgive myself for not accepting myself in anxiety instead of achievement? I hear the "should"S in my self talk. Should have discovered your "How to meet Your Self", "How to Do the Work" & "How to Be the Love You Seek". Wow! Because too many many life moments of my growing up years reverberate, align with your experience even your Dark Night of the
    Soul". I am trying to heal emotionally, physically, and grafting people to me who truly are interested in my well being "Trust" Forgiveness issues and feel selfish, spoiled brat for putting the self first. Surrender step around the corner. I'm hopeful. Thank you

  • @allowedtotalk8910
    @allowedtotalk8910 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love your videos, they are filled with truth. A lot won't relate or want to know truth. Thanks for sharing it. ❤

  • @Astronaut216
    @Astronaut216 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks so much for making this. I’ve been feeling this way for a while, and I just feel like I won’t have space to figure myself out until I end things with my wife. I’m also avoidant and grew up as a glass child, so my people pleasing has meshed perfectly with her self- described codependence.
    I care about her, but I can’t go on feeling trapped like I have been. I just hate that I’m going to have to hurt her to find my independence.

  • @MothmanBaddie
    @MothmanBaddie ปีที่แล้ว

    Currently in the thick of Round 2 DNotS. It’s rough. I feel better equipped to handle this now, after reading your book and watching your videos. Thank you for helping me change my life for the better! I am always sending you love ♥️

  • @NewGrowFlow
    @NewGrowFlow 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    🙏 Thank you very much for this! Helps much with your gifts of sharing your knowledge! 🔆
    Is it possible that I’ve been through this many times in my life and that I’ve always thought its my comorbidity (more than one disorder) ❤️‍🩹
    Sending everyone self- love, kindness, patience, healing energy and feel-knowing we can grow through this!
    💙🙏🍀

  • @Ashley-1984
    @Ashley-1984 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for sharing this. I've been experiencing the same symptoms that you experienced. Thank you for the advice you share on how to work through this dark night

  • @elizabethromero2833
    @elizabethromero2833 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is me through and through, 100%. Except for me just accepting all the change I am losing my marbles

  • @danielleforce2947
    @danielleforce2947 ปีที่แล้ว

    Currently feel this may be what I’m experiencing. I felt like I was making such growth and progress and now I feel numb, irritable and shut down from those around me. I know big changes are coming but fear can be so overwhelming.

  • @charmedprince
    @charmedprince 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My dark night journey:
    2020: My grandma passed away before COVID (she was my closest kin)
    2020: COVID happened
    2020: I turned 30, major age
    2021-2022: First major limerence
    2023-2024: Second major limerence
    2024: My younger brother passed away from an accident (February), made me abandon everything! It made my letting go of my limerent object very easy.
    2024: June, turned 34 then I went to watch Dune 2 on the theaters, made me question everything. Maybe our lives are just the works of Bene Gesserits.
    2024: _WHAT AM I NOW? Phase_ I'm now going through my dark night. At 34, I'm feeling through this... I am gaining clarity now. It's a tough journey but it's gonna be a long long time, I'm sure

  • @ep2999
    @ep2999 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes. This was very useful, thank you.

  • @B82-z7c
    @B82-z7c ปีที่แล้ว

    I don't know what I'm doing anymore, my life isn't rough I just work and then get into a routine afterwards to end the day. Nothing changes.

  • @niyatibenraval
    @niyatibenraval ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m going through a second wave of the dark night of the soul. My first experience with it was last year where I lost parts of old identity. It was the most intense since I didn’t know what to expect and hence I was resisting a lot. This time around although it is still painful I’m surrendering. Accepting the present moment as it is

  • @agatakjoy
    @agatakjoy ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you!

  • @P9q-f1w
    @P9q-f1w ปีที่แล้ว

    Appreciate your videos! Thank you for sharing!❤

  • @lc6941
    @lc6941 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think this might sorta describe what I've been going through. I had a traumatic first breakup, got out of the Army, been sort of transient in where I've lived, decided to make a big change and move far away from everyone and everything and start going to college. There's been lots of good in the journey, but it's also been real hard. I also moved to a place where it's further North and it's harder to just get some sunlight during your everyday moments. The VA therapy system is real slow, so I'm hoping by the time appointments start happening, i can really begin to get past this slump that's just been present to varying degrees for the past few years

  • @ЮліяДерцакян
    @ЮліяДерцакян ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you!❤