Your videos 👏✨ also i used to like to be alone i walk away to a park or a garden , and I think deep and deep and I have no desire to cause conflict but hey people will not allow this and all this you have already explained well in your videos ✨✨
I didn't know anything about personality types until I watched one of your videos about dealing with a narcissist. I knew I was different. I didn't know there were thousands that were like me.
Every time I take the MB, it comes out the same. About 5x over the years. Also, just observing patterns and differences that indicate away (way away) from the 68%. Comment analysis from feedback from others-“You’re just too sensitive.” “You overthink.”
My mom an her NEED to pay her credit cards off immediately! 🙄 She just has 0 explanation other then she dnt want the debt? WHY more debt = MORE credit! Making payments=better credit score= MORE CREDIT... pay min. Payment = more money to LIVE on! Don't EVEN let me hear u even breath me heavy opening a bill for the next 5 years I SWEAR! Why this bother me? Ya I needed a loan 3000$ and she wants ME to pay that shit off 500$/mo 😂 absolutely NOT I'm not trying to not pay! If I was paying HER back I'd have no problem with that! Money for her to be comfortable! Sure!! BUT no! I'm not paying the shit off like that IM NOT going without no way! Noone else is? The damn credit card company DONT even Want that kinda Payment! Swear if she could NOT b like this my whole life an blow me off with a bs "bc I said so" I'm 36 yr old! I'm not allowing it
You are the first person to ever, ever, ever mention (that I've seen) that coldness inside. I've said for years that I feel a little like an angel: I want to help humans, but I don't feel like one of them. I feel cold but benevolent.
Cause I realize that I am one of them, and there's no helping us because even though I want to believe that, none of my strategies I have developed in my mind play out the way I want them to. I feel weird daily for this, but my mind is constantly running these scenarios. I don't have to stop and think about it.
In my contemplations, I recently decided that I am kind and giving because it is the right thing to do not because it makes me feel good or even because I truly care. The statement of "coldness" is a perfect description. I feel bad because I feel like I am pretending but there is no way that I am going to walk away from a need. The dissonance is an affront to my congruency.
I actually feel this overwhelming empathy of other people so much that i tend to suppress it most of the time or push it away as it gets so so overwhelming😢 making her point that we feel cold inside sometimes
With going through person trials many people have looked at me asking how I've managed to hang on or handle the trauma and I've found myself asking, I don't know. God for sure, but also some internal reliance I didn't know I had in comparison. And also being numb to the overwhelming amount of empathy for others
As an INFJ I used to try to convince my friends and co-workers to not make bad life decisions but they would make them anyway, suffer the bad consequences and then and only then would they listen to reason. These days, I generally do nothing and let people make the bad decision and have a personal disaster because only when they hit a painfully hard barrier in their lives do they listen. I still have concern for people close to me but disconnecting emotionally from other people's bad decisions has helped me achieve more peace in my own life.
Watching others running into their own doom, with a smile on their face and arms wide open, was the hardest growing up. It killed me every time, because I felt helpless, when people didn‘t listen. Nowadays I know, that we can only learn and grow, if we come to certain conclusions by ourselves. And sometimes that means we have to hit the floor multiple times 🙈.
The bad decisions can be what allows them to make steps towards personal growth, so is it really wrong? It might be painful, but it might also make them strong enough to take steps to not repeat those patterns. Even if we understand things on a different level, we need to be careful to respect people's rights to live their lives on their own terms.
5 CLEAR SIGNS YOU ARE A TRUE INFJ (Rarest Personality Type) 1:17 SIGN #1 You understand people's hidden agendas, insecurities, & motives 3:24 SIGN #2 Yo're able to absorb other people's emotional states 6:27 SIGN #3 You're mentally resilient to being different 8:30 SIGN #4 You feel cold inside 11:24 SIGN #5 You're taking responsibility for how other people feel about themselves
Ironically if anyone relates to this they're not a cognitive INFJ in the Jungian sense. INFJs are NiTi convergence - abstract cerebral conceptualises. I'm a Jungian theorist & academic psychologist I suggest people return to the readings of Jung. INFJs are logically not emotionally predictive. Wenzes is describing behavioural traits that are not equivocal to cognition. I initially thought she was an ISFP but I'm not confident she's in fact an ESFP as the Fi authority function (from a CPT perspective) is clearly evident. Of course all types have equal parity of esteem so this isn't a criticism - it's about cognition not personality traits after all, there's no implicit value judgements. I'm a cognitive ENFJ and can recognise the holisticism of NiTi a mile off Wenzes rather uses concrete inter objective Te frameworks, her NiTi (again not a criticism we all have blindspots) is actually blind as an ESFP. I think the common perception of Ni as the 'woo woo' function which it can feel like to unconscious Ni users is why so many ESFPs especially more socially introverted variants mistype as INFJs. "You're mentally resilient to being different," - what does this have to do with Jungian cognition? It's a psychometric property; many people of varying cognitive types are resilient to being different (and for different reasons - neurodivergence etc).
The coldness inside is something I've grappled with for years. I have a fear of being viewed as psychopathic. I'm overly kind to a point where I can appear like a doormat. I fear if I just speak, act and react how I want, ppl will strongly dislike me and be even more critical of me. I find the average person slow and generally incompetent. Ppl rely too much on others and it irks me how they turn to others before turning inwards. I don't want to feel upset about this but it's a natural feeling.
I'm the same way , I'm overly nice because I can be overly brutal , but that has a lot to do with my horrible childhood . I try to find that happy medium but if someone tests me the coldness comes out and when that happens people trip out on me because they never saw that part of me .. being able to read people , I can usually avoid this issue ,and it also helps me deal calmly to the drama because I preplan what I'm going to say ,now it comes down to how they react to my reaction , if that makes sense
I feel the same . I believe we are to a sociopath, like gold is to lead. So close but for one difference that makes us seem as polar opposites. I believe if our empathy was removed , we would be sociopaths. As nice as I am I can be equally cold. I can cut a person out of my life with almost no effort , or I can grieve for years, depends on the reason and the person.cheers Cheers
Learning that i have the INFJ personality type has helped me, not making the same mistake over and over again. This community is so great because i feel understood.
Me too! I just called myself as 'weirdo' before I learned about MBTI. It have helped me to learn about myself and where I should improve. I'm so glad we all INFJs here are supporting and gives us different advices. :D
We are unicorns, impossible to catch, too good for the unexpected. I have only a few times when I have really left others behind because I've given them real talk and they have not understood it at the time, we stop taking and years later they have said that I was right but that they hadn't known factors 4-9 of their own reality which I had already taken into account of why things might have been the way they were ... I can look at something and have multiple explanations as to why it is that way and come to a logical answer quickly, yes it can be always varied but it's dependent on 'what ifs'
I felt so empty and so uninterested in my own life that I thought I was an empty person, broken in some way. But as I aged I began to focus on myself a little and the emotions about my own life started to appear. This is such an important thing that infj need to hear. You're not broken, you're just so outward focused that you haven't built yourself yet - and that's not a bad thing. Start today.
This!! I can't seem to get motivated unless I'm taking care of others. I never learned how to take care of me. What do I even like? What foods do I like to eat?
Omg, thank you for sharing this. I felt the same way a few years ago, I had no passion at all for my life, and that precisely I think is part of our journey as an INFJs … when i tried to match in the outside world it made me feel miserable… and then, got into a crisis breaking point, which was crucial to jump to my inward world and started to get to know me. And then… almost like magic, my inside world started to grow and that’s how I got obsessed for my self development. It’s quite a journey!
I have watched around 100 youtube videos on INFJs through various TH-cam channels in the last 2 years. She is the only TH-camr that I know who does the actual sensible deep talk on INFJs. Almost every other channel just throws surface level facts on INFJs. No one else discusses about various topics like Wenzes does. It was late but glad that I came across this channel.
Yes I agree with that. She is coaching us where the others seem mostly interested in simply identifying us. This particular video is one of the rare ones where Wenzes is talking about identifying characteristics. But even here she is going much deeper than most of the others do.
definitely agree, most channels ive viewed as well have been very surface level. And when they do point out issues they are rarely followed by actionable solutions or even different paths of thinking
When I dumb myself down, people think I am smart. When I speak in ways that impress myself, most people don't feel they get me, or even think I am not making sense or just babble
Found out I was an INFJ at the age of 24 in college (now 49) it explained a lot. My mom always told me, “if you’re everybody’s cheerleader then who is yours.” She also said it’s like Superman saving Lois when she says, if you got me then whose got you! 😊 So meditation, yoga to grounding as well as other techniques help me. So thankful my mother talked to me about self care for my personality type. Thank you for these thoughtful videos you are awesome! ❤
In the beginning when u said ppl and ur husband dont get ur videos i actually started laughing, cuz as an infj I think nobody understands me, i constantly say i must be speaking Korean. I think im gonna be watching a lot of your channel 💜
My infant grandson was catastrophically injured during birth leaving him only the ability to breathe and digest. It absolutely wrecked all of us. When my son and daughter-in-law made the decision to remove his tube feedings and let nature take its course I took over his care. I reduced his feedings over a couple days and could see the relief in his body not being forced to take in so much. I had to withstand my daughter-in-law's begging for me to feed him, her sobbing and devastation of watching his body lose weight. She accused me of not loving him. I would have to remind her why they made the decision and remove his hat to show her the perfect little boy she made was injured beyond repair as his brain was dissolving away and his skull was collapsing in. My entire family was in shock at how I was able to assist my grandson in his great need. Although, I wouldn't use the word cold. It's better described as clinically practical. It was what was needed/required so had to be done as efficiently as possible. It was extremely painful, but that wasn't a factor in what was needed
One technique that helped me to confirm being INFJ is to study, review, and reflect on the lives of known famous INFJs along with a few that are closely related but very distinct (such as INTJ, INFP, ENFJ as examples). INFJs grow fiercely independent as unique adults but still have introverted visions/intuition of life's potential while understanding people at large. Unless parents and siblings were empathetic and caring during childhood, INFJs grow up with emotional scars but usually stay focused internally through pain and quite often will fight back ferociously on several levels when strong personalities try to bend, mold, punish, or manipulate an INFJ wanting to be left in peace. Observing without judgment, random famous INFJs are very different even inside as a group but all usually treat fame, fortune, and privilege in a measured way and yet still stay themselves regardless of the outside environment. Note by contrast, INFPs are much more emotional introverts who are extremely vulnerable to downsides of personal intrusions of fame. INTJs treat fame through their very high IQ logical intellects. ENFJs are just as determined intuitives as INFJs but simply must publicly socialize a lot and put much more worry on fame (endlessly talking, will it ever stop?! 😁). Famous INFJ musicians worth reviewing include Billy Corgan, Michael MacDonald, Marilyn Manson, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, George Harrison, Stevie Nicks, Brian Wilson, Jarrod Leto, and Mark Hollis as examples (I deliberately stayed away from politicians or religious figures to review personalities hopefully leaving out controversy to study). These famous INFJ musicians are not generally altered by fame internally but certainly have a provocative unique vision artistically. One final distinction is that each of these very different INFJs can hold a deeper and sophisticated interview and yet be balanced speaking on numerous subjects with moderation between rational and.intuitive thoughts in conversation.
Every time I listen to your words I reconnect and make peace with myself… one thing is to know who you are, another is to be recognized by someone else for who you truly are. For that I really thank you ❤
One of my favorite movie lines is by Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Bandits (paraphrase): You know the problem with being this smart? You know what's going to happen. There's no suspense.
Learning about infj has helped me to finally understand my whole family. Many breakthroughs, now just trying for acceptance but so painful and hurtful, especially knowing that my narcissistic family will never change. I've outgrown them all, but still wish I could have a real & true relationship with my three siblings. Both my parents are dead, yet they both live on through my siblings. Every morning when I wake up, my thoughts go to them. It would be nice to be able to put it down once and for all. The obstacle is that I love them all so much😢
When it comes to narcissistic people, it is advised that one should keep no-contact/low-contact with them. Sounds like you're in the throes of trauma-bonding &, unfortunately, you may not get the clarity & strength enough to cut that cord until alot of precious stuff is lost irrecoverably, chief of which is TIME. I'd recommend that you checked into therapy & this should help you discern issues, build resolve & salvage some of those stuff! Be well.
My parents are gone too but I know they loved me. I wish my sisters and my children would talk to me. I love them unconditionally and I can't understand why they can just suddenly cut me off without warning or explanation. How many siblings and children do they think I have? Why can't we be a family? Allow for different opinions? I helped whenever they asked, but the moment I reluctantly asked for help, they didn't want to even talk.
@recoveringsoul755 Thanks for sharing that. My daughter and I are trying to have some sort of relationship, but I think there's unforgiveness in the mix, same with my siblings. So, I don't really talk to any of them at the moment. I'm done begging or bribing my own family to love me. They'll always see me as damaged, the scapegoat. Still, I'll never give up on them because I do love them unconditionally. I know what you mean about no explanation. Same here. My dad loved me but not my mother. That's a whole 'nother can of worms!
5 CLEAR SIGNS YOU ARE A TRUE INFJ 1. You understand people's hidden agendas insecurities & motives -> 1:21 2. You are able to absorb people's emotional states -> 3:27 3. You mentally resilient to be different -> 6:31 4. You feel cold inside -> 8:34 5. You are taking responsibility about how other ppl feel about them selves -> 1:33
Wenzes is the INFJ “whisperer,” with the ability to speak to the very soul of the INFJ, so grateful for the time she puts into her presentations.🙏.✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️
I can't believe you have articulated this!!! I've known it but cant define or convey it. You just did. I am very grateful. Knowing this is a game changer, especially 5.
i grew up with narcissistic parents and a very narcissistic older sister who would always come to me to speak about her relationship issues since my parents didn't want to deal with that. i always had to console her and act like a therapist while she didn't even listen to me and just left me with all of her problems - she did the same thing to my other siblings but at some point i was the only one listening to her because i felt guilty. it got so bad that i went to a therapist at age 14 although my parents were strictly against it. my mom even told me to not talk about the family since everything was "fine". ever since then i stopped feeling guilty towards toxic people, and i started leaning more into my introverted thinking when it comes to those people. your videos really helped me a lot getting to know myself more and dealing with my insecurities from the past so i can grow up emotionally. thank you so much for helping people like me!
...or a Scorpio. If you are both like me, you can download lots of extensions for the program. My fav is the one that gives you a medusa snake halo at the same time as laser contact is made with the other individual.
It happened so many times in my life that the biggest crushes I’ve had were with suffering people that I felt I could heal with love, and felt so ashamed of my coldness towards other partners that they didn’t had any issues to compensate…. I. Both cases due to my inexperience I ended up alone and disconnected with the world
Something I’ve really had to get a grip on is seeing the underlying intentions of people as clear as day and nobody else seeing the obviousness of it and I’m just like, do you guys really not see that this person is evil or lying or whatever? And because it’s so obvious to me, it’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that they really don’t see it. This feeling has led me into creating an account to raise awareness on narcissistic abuse manipulation tactics. It gives me satisfaction to help people see what’s obvious to me. I just found your account btw, I love your discussions 🙏🏼
Every single point holds true for me, especially absorbing others’ emotional states and taking responsibility for how others feel about themselves. I am 48 and realised I am an INFJ just one year back, after severe burnout on account of hollowing myself out too much. Wenzes, you are a saviour. After listening to your advice and taking action, I feel I have reclaimed myself.
I completely lose it at funerals for people I never even knew or even met!! I'd get taken by my SO almost like he was trying to hurt me and drain me for weeks, or he was using me to prove to others that he was upset. Once he even THANKED me for crying because he said he couldn't cry
Wow, this video is so relatable! As an INFJ, I've always felt like I have a deep understanding of people's hidden agendas, insecurities, and motives. It's like I can see beyond their external facade and understand what's really going on inside them. And the ability to absorb other people's emotional states is so true! I feel like I can put myself in their shoes and feel what they're feeling. It's like I'm a supporting role in their movie, helping them through their struggles and triumphs. Thank you for making this video, it's really helped me understand myself better. 😊
I do understand your videos and relate heavily to them. I am good at social chameleoning and that can be exhausting. A lot of the music from my childhood is music that was “imprinted” on me by the people I admired/loved/cared most about. I enjoy exploring other people’s identities and doing things they love because I get to experience that excitement and joy. I can put myself in someone else’s shoes and feel what they’re feeling and sense their motives and reasoning. I also have been trying not to make a habit of that because it does take a toll on my energy. Since finding out I was INFJ 4 years ago I’ve flip flopped on my type due to having scored differently on various tests. I have always resonated with the INFJ type but my confidence and sense of self was suffering at the time and it still does sometimes but a lot less. I wonder if my confusion about who I am comes down to my ability to be able to put myself in someone else’s shoes? It’s not that I change who I am but I can get along so well with almost anyone.
I totally relate to your comment. I have come to this conclusion as well. I’ve tested as an ENFP, ENFJ, INTP and INFP on various occasions but I’ve also tested as an INFJ. And I believe that I am truly an INFJ, because I resonate more with its identifying marks. I think the only reason why I tested in those other areas is because I can be a great chameleon. Also, because of my ability to understand the MBTI very well, I feel that I can actually tap into each of those other personalities whenever I want. But ultimately it’s because I’m an INFJ that I’m able to do that. When I think about what I was as a child, I was naturally an INFJ.
Hi Wenzes, I feel relieved and finally understand my behavior, reactions, and responses. I always feel I am different and think that there is something wrong with me. Most people don't have a clue about who INFJs are. And I always feel like an outsider observing the world with people and events. I see more than I tell out of self-preservation for the majority of people can't face the truth and most don't even want to know despite what they may claim. Thank you so much. I feel I finally being understood and I am not alone. And I am 58 years old. I guess better late than never.
Wow. Your inside my head. I took the test a few years ago knowing nothing about it. I was told I was one of the weird ones by my counselor. He explained what an INFJ was. Now that I have located these videos, watching them and reading comments is like I found people from the same planet as me, which is not this planet. Thank you
sou brasileiro e INFJ e as vezes ainda fico fascinado pelo fato de que outros infj de outros paises passam por situações muito parecidas com as minhas por conta de sermos estranhos. Uma pena que aqui no brasil não temos uma comunidade tão grande como vocês, e isso torna as coisas mais dificeis
A natureza humana é bastante semelhante, apesar da cultura. É por isso que temos tantas experiências semelhantes. Que bom que você está vendo esses vídeos. Acho que eles vão te ajudar muito.
TH-cam is a great help in that way!! These videos help us feel understood, which maybe we don't feel with those around us. It's so cool connecting with people around the world, struggling with the same feelings. ❤❤❤
1. motive and agenda - I know through pattern that they showed in front of me 2. absorb - sometime this ability overwhelmed me. 3. mentallity reselient - no bully can hurt me. at some point friends stop bully, and become depending - coz I help them a lot. maybe they afraid that I help them no more if they hurt/ bully me. 4. cool inside: true 5. responsibility: just wonder why others cant understand themself, coz it so clearly for me
This video seals it for me. I am definitely INFJ. I appreciate this channel so much. At first this deeper understanding that I may be INFJ and what it means was so liberating, but then very disorientating. Now it feels much better, bit by bit.
One time I was at Jack in the Box and there was probably a 55 year old woman working there. She was absolutely working her ass off and doing a really good job. She was very polite and professional too. It made me cry when I got home. This strong woman gets up every day and puts that jack in the box manager name tag on and busts her ass for a little bit of money. It made me think about her whole life and how it led up to that point. No one gets to that point from a comfortable life. I felt her pain and I felt her will to overcome that pain and her will not to be embarrassed about her work, and to take pride in her work. That's when I realized I was different than everyone else, and I didn't want to be. I've always just wanted to blend in.
I relate to all the signs, but nr 4 feeling cold inside, brought me to tears, i always felt so alone in this feeling, i dont have any infj’s around me, no one understands when i try explaining i feel a bit emotionally numb, to hear you say it here and how i am not alone in this feeling was such.., i needed to hear that😭❤️🩹
Yes , I am sure absolutely I am an INFJ , all my life I have worked as a social worker , and people always give me compliments because I have a deep connection with my clients . Now I am ready to do something for my self , that’s important ❤
I've never received a thank you from anyone I helped with my insight, even if said advice ended up improving their living conditions and literally saved a relationship that still lasts after 9 years. Instead, there was a small argument a while later and it resulted in both sides being too prideful to reach out and now we haven't talked in 2 years... Friendships...
Appreciated this content gerl! One friend closest to me, gets me quite well, says I can be way off in how correct i am in evaluating other people's stuff ( motives, etc ), I'm better at getting it thus hitting the nail on the head with interpreting others' emotions, true for myself anyway. Handling it like an INFJ, on the inside...is true too, differently that is, toughing it out better then those around you even in the same situation, yes!
I never doubted about it. I found out I am an INFJ only 3 years ago, when I was very very ill, doctors were not able to find a cause and a cure and I was searching on the net for possible explanations and treatments, and YT kept suggesting me videos about INFJ (it was quite strange to me back then, but it turned out it practically saved my life), I took the test and after that my whole life (including health condition) finally made sense
This channel is so helpful. There were so many things I wasn't really aware of in myself until I watched your videos. INFJ's are so keenly aware of what's going on within other people, but so clueless about themselves. 😅 I hope someday to hear you talk about what psychological and emotional traumas create empaths (becoming an empath is essentially a trauma response) and how we can successfully navigate this blurse (blessing + curse) in a way that isn't harmful to us! I've had to dramatically limit my interactions with other people and live by myself because of this. Thank you for your wonderful content! 🙏
Ive only recently at the age of 55 learned that i am an INFJ, and its difficult to face, although its liberating also watching your videos. I concur with everything you say although i dont feel cold inside, detached often yes, but if cold means I have very dark emotions about certain people that i consider frauds or see there agenda then yes. I see them. Your channel is great thank you
A search for Musicians who are INFJs just 2 days ago brought up all my favorite artists. A true connection in my book. Shannon Hoon and Kevin Parker are two of my very favorites. The songs they sing flow through my soul.
I absolutely love your analogies. I coupled this with my birth chart placements and 💥 heavy 6 & 8th house. Psychological autopsies are my speciality. I read body language without trying and know what people think just by reading their aura. It's a good gift to have and be able to avoid certain personalities. Others are harder to read but usually have more to hide. Excellent advice here 👍.
Hi Wenzes, You are spot on! Again! There are two things. That last part, about people don't appreciate your help. That's at the short term! I already know in front that most people reject it or getting angry. That's why I like to drop questions in their minds first. And then just sometimes add something and again and so on. So they don't get the feeling you are pushing your advice on them or that you read them like a book. For them it feels more like a coincidence or something that apparently I feel (too) and I am talking about myself, while instead I imagine being them and from that standpoint talking how I feel and what is maybe best. Or even then ask them for advice! This way they answer to themselves or at least start thinking about it. In this way they just see you as some one with similar thoughts and that way they will appreciate you in the longer term! What also happened a lot, is that people showed disliking me when I always was around. But after not seeing each other for a long time, people act as if I was their best friend then! And they show genuine happiness when seeing me! So I think that is just my fate and I have to find my happiness this way! Not being anybodies friend or getting gratitude for the seeds I have plant, but just to see that my contribution to help people, or better the world, worked in a way! This worked especially well when i worked in prison and could drop seeds in the minds of inmates! Later, I could see I made an impact on them, just by their reaction of seeing me and the way the looked at me! Then I truly had the feeling I did something well! The second is hidden in the first. That doing this gives me joy, although I do not directly get joy back or even can have friends or good relations with people. I just scare them anyways! Oh, I just remember, people who do appreciate me are people with low self-control or are always "on". So people who are always on the edge, trying to not constantly explode! Those people like to be with me because I do not judge them, and am in a way that voice that they mis doing damage control!
I knew years ago that I'm INFJ, but until I came upon this channel, I never knew what it meant. I've now seen my third video, and I feel like I've found the rest of me! 😘 And what makes it truly special is that less than a year ago, in the middle of my eighth decade, I found out I'm autistic. That discovery answered so many questions! and I've spent the past few months learning about autism. Now I have something new to learn and I'm thrilled! Thank you! 🥰
Thank you as usual. You are an INFJ genius. I am indeed in the process of building the yellow rabbit. Appreciate you and what you do for us INFJ's Have made so many mistakes.....
The 4th point you said is how I am now after weeks that there's no way you could've known that. I am mind blown that it is a trait! All of them are spot on I have 0 doubts now. 🤯
The significant difference for me or typical is the „cold inside“ and resilient AF 🤪😉 and therefor trying to be extra nice and supportive 😅😇 This is so important for INFJs to become aware of and starting to do it more consciously. THANK YOU so much for that video 🙏🏼💪🏼❤️💯
On the first one this is 100% one of my frustrations when other people get taken in by a manipulator. I don’t know how many times I’ve said “how do you not see who they are?” This is helpful to recognize that other people don’t see the agendas and I shouldn’t be so surprised that they don’t get it.
Ok.. the responsibility and the cold/ overcompensating points got to me. That‘s why I always fall back nto getting absorbed by others lifes. I strongly feel for all the quote on quote weirdos … simply people, who struggle to fit in, due to their alternate perspectives, extraordinary ideas or strange hobbies. Many (but not all) of these people suffer from severe mental illnesses, are neurodivergent (diagnosed) or similar things…I Want to make them feel loved, accepted, understood, apprechiated and feel welcome so badly (because I adore and admire every single one of them so very much), that I totally get sucked into their world and give myself away and disrespect my own needs. There is another tricky aspect to this: This behaviour distracts me from constantly wondering, pondering, doubting and driving myself crazy about the question WHO I AM and who I want to be in this world. I‘m 33 by now and still can‘t figure it out, because I can relate to almost everything, to a certain degree, but I’m not able to feel a realy deep connection to anything. It seems, nothing put there is realy for me… Does this make sense at all? I still don‘t know, if Iam an INFJ, because I get confused by the behavioural patterns I see in people very often. And I often miss certain things and signs other quote on quote empaths recognize. Maybee that‘s because I try so hard to focus on the good and just characteristics in every person I meet, because otherwise I get depressed and frustrated with the world very easily. And I try to ignoriere certain red flaggs, because they are non of my business, for I’m not involved in a certain situation and if I see, I can’t unsee and then I feel responsible to engage in the Situation and… Folks…I realy don‘t know…😔
I am so happy, because i feel understood, and you helped me so that I don't feel so bad because others don't care about me as much as I do about them. Thank you!❤
2:40 woman, you gave me goosebumps for real. I literally was thinking about these words and it made me question some things. You are the only one who made me sure of my type, what a relief
Sign 3 has been one of the biggest for me. It's one of the things that I struggled with for so long until I learned about MBTI and learned about INFJ. Everything suddenly made so much more sense to me.
This is helpful. This is not like 99% videos on the internet saying all superficial idealized stuff of INFJs. The coldness and the empathy combined in a person is true. I have always thought ENFJ with Fe hero and Ni parent should just do what INFJs do: knowing others’ agenda and have empathy for others. ENFJs are quick on judging the emotional states of others because they are judgers after all. However, if you look closer, ENFJs judge quick but they don’t have the accuracy that INFJs have. ENFJs are more like confident in their guess but INFJs genuinely observe and analyze before making any point. Fe of ENFJs are more like they are familiar with social norms of what causes what feelings in people, they do not pay as much attention to the unique circumstances of the person they are facing as INFJs. Ie. ENFJs’ Fe empathy is more impersonal and standardized while INFJs Fe empathy is more in tune with the person in question. That’s how INFJs are called mind-readers.
This is actually surface level content predicated on ubiquitous behavioural stereotypes with a lack of empirical backing/robust literature such as Jung to back it up. I'm not negating that Wenzes truly believes that she is helping people & indeed many ESFPs & people of certain personality traits will highly relate to the content but Wenzes is not a cognitive INFJ. INFJs are NiTi cerebral abstract rationalists like the ENFJ they are logically predictive, the INFJ is not an empath or at least not one of the types to be considered as such. I highly recommend checking out Cognitive Personality Theory for a cognitive approach, as Jung intended, towards typology & the accompanying acclaimed ebook. Harry himself is an INFJ which will give anyone a good gage as to whether they are one or not. There's no shame in mistyping; I was mistyped prior to being typed professionally & as a divergent TiNi ENFJ I can unambiguously state Wenzes is a divergent NiFi ESFP; her limbic backbone & blind NiTi is highly apparent.
Yet again you have completely blown my mind Wenzes! ❤ Thank you 🙏 I will be paying lots more attention to my yellow rabbit going forward and conditioning myself properly 💗🐰
Wenzes you truly spot on with the 5 traits. My only inclusion to these statements are that a true INFJ is discovered through their level of maturity, as you get older and more self-aware and self-conscious you find your true personality. God Bless
I'm a 13 years old INFJ, and I'm still on the way of learning with these skills I have. Sometimes I questioned myself 'Am I really an INFJ?' because I have a hard time understanding all of the emotions that comes over and absorbed. 'Is this my own emotions or others?' I get confused and feel drained and overwhelmed. …At least I think so?? Sometimes I really doesn't know what is going on in my mind :') Neither do I know how to express them… 😢 I shall keep on learning more about myself! :)) Hope I can be that INFJ someday!! (Determination ☆)
@@Abulina09 Hii thanks for your comment! I actually am not sure if I can reads people's like Wenze said in the video, cause the INFJs all seems to claims that is indeed their strength. Or perhaps I just doesn't really meet people or get in social interactions that much? I do relates that I can read through some of them, but sometimes I doesn't because of stress??… Ahh this is kinda a mess right now, guess I'll have to experience more to find out ahaha :)
I picked up the emotions of a grieving woman at a funeral when I hugged her. I was fine before the hug but after the hug I was sobbing and I felt her sadness for days.
Wow! Mind blown and feeling very grateful for your explanations. I have been (finally!) figuring these things out. It's a great relief to hear it's "normal" for my personality type.
Yes- humility in acknowledging that anything good we have or do is not from us but from God. It has given me great solace to see relate INFJ to how Jesus walked this earth, to see how my focusing on God’s Will is what is leading me more and more to be like Him in how I see the world, others, and myself. To feel seen and not alone, to be completely understood by Him. All praises be to the King of Kings… and the Lord our God, He is Wonderful.
Yep. I'm 63 yrs old and finally got free of infj habits that were, oh let's be honest Screwed me out of my life. I had to dump all the baggage and people. Yes Ive have that cold feeling inside. Had it from a young age. I thought it was from being an orphan and growing up with no love.. But yeah an everyone I know couldnt take a miniscule of what I been through and put up with and come out sane and not on drugs. But I retired myself from a lot of people cause I missed my life overcompensating and caring about weak people for years. Always helping and being there for everyone and everything but myself. Because I felt I should care..... But faith got me through. I however love the life lessons I learned despite the time I lost. Now I enjoy my time alone and I say no. My time is short and its mine now.....oh joy
This one rang very true for me, and as always, it got me right where I live. It was especially interesting to see how #3, #4, and #5 fit together. I appreciate how you pointed out that the answer to all of this is to continue to work on ourselves. That makes a lot of good, logical sense. I would be hard-put to list logical reasons why, but I have a hunch that these five signs are the reason why the INFJ is sometimes called "the introvert most likely to be mistaken for an extrovert," - although I can certainly say that I have no trouble calling myself an introvert. 🙂 Interesting video! It put a lot of things together that we have probably suspected all along, but here it's explained in an understandable way.
I find myself becoming more of ENFJ, socially because it prevents a lot of harm that comes from living in the INFJ mindset. I’m an INFJ when I’m at home, though
But many of the things she's describing are also features of ENFJ . Whoever think that ENFJs are more easily or understand less than INFJs is wrong . ENFJs,& INFJs are really similar in many things . But this woman from her videoes. Her content seem more appealing for ENFJs than INFJs which doesn't differeniate between the 2
So on point as always. Interesting side i discovered. I am a Capricorn sun, Pieces moon, and Leo rising- a perfect INFJ combo. Have you created a video on riding the political fence as an INFJ?
I often find myself being insensitive to people's feelings when they break down over what to me is miniscule. And about seeing people's agenda's I usually call it seeing through people like they are glass and I can clearly see everything within them . Everything you said I deeply related to , and the way you worded it gave me a different angle to view myself so thank you, well done
Well 5 out of 5, I finally discovered who I am last year or my label.....but I would not trade who I am for nothing!!!! OMG I wish everybody was a INFJ the world would be perfect.
Every one of the five is perfect. Number 5 has a subtle pattern change: a yellow rabbit. This is a nice touch by Wenzes as it gives me a way out of my own self-imposed rabbit holes. Yay yippeeee. 🎯🌞🐬
I listen to several different counselors talking about INFJ, and it all adds Up , it all makes sense -- except for today's number 5. Only half of it seems to apply. Maybe that belongs in the list of "dysfunctional INFJ" & I am recovering from that. Just a thought.
I concur. Number five did not seem to be a complete fit for me, either. I have never felt guilty about being who I am, only confused about a lot of it. And frustrated. Until recently.
Most people who have problems INFJ'S are supportive friends they don't know everything a person is going through in reality the person can use their minds to figure out how to help themselves we don't grow if we just rely on other people to feel better .
❤I have also said "Disagree with your opinion but totally defend your right to hold it and would like to explore this" Have always felt different from others
Holy crap!! This is dead nuts on point for so many thoughts and things that have happened to me. Wow, can't believe some of the random points you've made, that I thought nobody else was thinking as well. Just crazy.
First time listening, I cried on the part of helping someone you love who ends up treating you so badly and they pushed me away after 20 years of me understanding there pain but took it out on me to the point i left them and it has done a number on me because I thought my love would change them, it was my husband. Im trying to get over being mad at myself for trusting someone with my heart, i feel dooped, so many feelings I can't express and YES no one ever understands who I am or cares to get deep in anything, most people live in a cheap in the moment of what it can do for them to get there fix. Plastic, fake reality the world feeds them . Many could care less about WHY, I always want to know why? In everything not just because someone said so. I need proof, deepness, ect. So yah,its hard for me to meat and find Real genuine souls to trust, im alone even when im with co workers, i fade out in my mind, I find them boring, fake, annoying, just not good. Sounds bad but thats how i feel so I am alone 90%of the time. I like talking to strangers the most.
![일상 속 기분 좋음 [Proto disco meme]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/DwmEIaZ7XGQ/mqdefault.jpg)
What has helped you narrow down that you are an INFJ?
Do not attribute to malice,
that which can simply be explained by stupidity
Every few years, I take the test again. Never fails to be infj.
Your videos 👏✨ also i used to like to be alone i walk away to a park or a garden , and I think deep and deep and I have no desire to cause conflict but hey people will not allow this and all this you have already explained well in your videos ✨✨
I didn't know anything about personality types until I watched one of your videos about dealing with a narcissist. I knew I was different. I didn't know there were thousands that were like me.
Every time I take the MB, it comes out the same. About 5x over the years. Also, just observing patterns and differences that indicate away (way away) from the 68%. Comment analysis from feedback from others-“You’re just too sensitive.” “You overthink.”
An INFJ statement: "I disagree with your view but I am absolutely willing to explore why you hold that view."
Yup. My favorite word has always been, "Why?"
100%. And as someone who works in customer service, this is vital for what I do, and why I'm so good at it.
My mom an her NEED to pay her credit cards off immediately! 🙄
She just has 0 explanation other then she dnt want the debt? WHY more debt = MORE credit! Making payments=better credit score= MORE CREDIT... pay min. Payment = more money to LIVE on! Don't EVEN let me hear u even breath me heavy opening a bill for the next 5 years I SWEAR!
Why this bother me? Ya I needed a loan 3000$ and she wants ME to pay that shit off 500$/mo 😂 absolutely NOT I'm not trying to not pay! If I was paying HER back I'd have no problem with that! Money for her to be comfortable! Sure!! BUT no! I'm not paying the shit off like that IM NOT going without no way! Noone else is? The damn credit card company DONT even Want that kinda Payment! Swear if she could NOT b like this my whole life an blow me off with a bs "bc I said so"
I'm 36 yr old! I'm not allowing it
Exactly. This is why I can understand and emphasize with any political belief in the world when I hear their perspective and still keep my own beliefs
@@ChelleLlewesand people hate it when you ask that because it makes them think you aren’t listening to what they tell you to do
You are the first person to ever, ever, ever mention (that I've seen) that coldness inside. I've said for years that I feel a little like an angel: I want to help humans, but I don't feel like one of them. I feel cold but benevolent.
beautifully described.
I feel the exact same way.
An aha moment.
Cause I realize that I am one of them, and there's no helping us because even though I want to believe that, none of my strategies I have developed in my mind play out the way I want them to. I feel weird daily for this, but my mind is constantly running these scenarios. I don't have to stop and think about it.
In my contemplations, I recently decided that I am kind and giving because it is the right thing to do not because it makes me feel good or even because I truly care. The statement of "coldness" is a perfect description. I feel bad because I feel like I am pretending but there is no way that I am going to walk away from a need. The dissonance is an affront to my congruency.
I actually feel this overwhelming empathy of other people so much that i tend to suppress it most of the time or push it away as it gets so so overwhelming😢 making her point that we feel cold inside sometimes
With going through person trials many people have looked at me asking how I've managed to hang on or handle the trauma and I've found myself asking, I don't know. God for sure, but also some internal reliance I didn't know I had in comparison. And also being numb to the overwhelming amount of empathy for others
As an INFJ I used to try to convince my friends and co-workers to not make bad life decisions but they would make them anyway, suffer the bad consequences and then and only then would they listen to reason. These days, I generally do nothing and let people make the bad decision and have a personal disaster because only when they hit a painfully hard barrier in their lives do they listen. I still have concern for people close to me but disconnecting emotionally from other people's bad decisions has helped me achieve more peace in my own life.
I use to do that too
Yessss. Their circus has enough monkeys, I learned to let them run it. My circus has me and that’s enough for me to work on! 🤣😂
same here
Watching others running into their own doom, with a smile on their face and arms wide open, was the hardest growing up. It killed me every time, because I felt helpless, when people didn‘t listen. Nowadays I know, that we can only learn and grow, if we come to certain conclusions by ourselves. And sometimes that means we have to hit the floor multiple times 🙈.
The bad decisions can be what allows them to make steps towards personal growth, so is it really wrong? It might be painful, but it might also make them strong enough to take steps to not repeat those patterns.
Even if we understand things on a different level, we need to be careful to respect people's rights to live their lives on their own terms.
Being an INFJ is so hard often as sometimes we feel so behind in life.
Alone
5 CLEAR SIGNS YOU ARE A TRUE INFJ (Rarest Personality Type)
1:17
SIGN #1
You understand people's
hidden agendas,
insecurities, & motives
3:24
SIGN #2
Yo're able to absorb
other people's
emotional states
6:27
SIGN #3
You're mentally resilient
to being different
8:30
SIGN #4
You feel cold
inside
11:24
SIGN #5
You're taking responsibility
for how other people
feel about themselves
Ironically if anyone relates to this they're not a cognitive INFJ in the Jungian sense. INFJs are NiTi convergence - abstract cerebral conceptualises. I'm a Jungian theorist & academic psychologist I suggest people return to the readings of Jung. INFJs are logically not emotionally predictive. Wenzes is describing behavioural traits that are not equivocal to cognition. I initially thought she was an ISFP but I'm not confident she's in fact an ESFP as the Fi authority function (from a CPT perspective) is clearly evident. Of course all types have equal parity of esteem so this isn't a criticism - it's about cognition not personality traits after all, there's no implicit value judgements. I'm a cognitive ENFJ and can recognise the holisticism of NiTi a mile off Wenzes rather uses concrete inter objective Te frameworks, her NiTi (again not a criticism we all have blindspots) is actually blind as an ESFP. I think the common perception of Ni as the 'woo woo' function which it can feel like to unconscious Ni users is why so many ESFPs especially more socially introverted variants mistype as INFJs. "You're mentally resilient to being different," - what does this have to do with Jungian cognition? It's a psychometric property; many people of varying cognitive types are resilient to being different (and for different reasons - neurodivergence etc).
Imagine being a Cancer-Leo Cusp INFJ in the nations capitol called Washington, DC surrounded by narcissistic individuals.
Thanks
@@birdyghostly You're Welcome! 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
Thank you
The coldness inside is something I've grappled with for years. I have a fear of being viewed as psychopathic. I'm overly kind to a point where I can appear like a doormat. I fear if I just speak, act and react how I want, ppl will strongly dislike me and be even more critical of me. I find the average person slow and generally incompetent. Ppl rely too much on others and it irks me how they turn to others before turning inwards. I don't want to feel upset about this but it's a natural feeling.
I'm the same way , I'm overly nice because I can be overly brutal , but that has a lot to do with my horrible childhood . I try to find that happy medium but if someone tests me the coldness comes out and when that happens people trip out on me because they never saw that part of me .. being able to read people , I can usually avoid this issue ,and it also helps me deal calmly to the drama because I preplan what I'm going to say ,now it comes down to how they react to my reaction , if that makes sense
I feel the same . I believe we are to a sociopath, like gold is to lead. So close but for one difference that makes us seem as polar opposites. I believe if our empathy was removed , we would be sociopaths. As nice as I am I can be equally cold. I can cut a person out of my life with almost no effort , or I can grieve for years, depends on the reason and the person.cheers
Cheers
Learning that i have the INFJ personality type has helped me, not making the same mistake over and over again. This community is so great because i feel understood.
Me too! I just called myself as 'weirdo' before I learned about MBTI.
It have helped me to learn about myself and where I should improve.
I'm so glad we all INFJs here are supporting and gives us different advices. :D
We are unicorns, impossible to catch, too good for the unexpected. I have only a few times when I have really left others behind because I've given them real talk and they have not understood it at the time, we stop taking and years later they have said that I was right but that they hadn't known factors 4-9 of their own reality which I had already taken into account of why things might have been the way they were ... I can look at something and have multiple explanations as to why it is that way and come to a logical answer quickly, yes it can be always varied but it's dependent on 'what ifs'
This is so true...
Is it?
Welcome:)
I felt so empty and so uninterested in my own life that I thought I was an empty person, broken in some way. But as I aged I began to focus on myself a little and the emotions about my own life started to appear. This is such an important thing that infj need to hear. You're not broken, you're just so outward focused that you haven't built yourself yet - and that's not a bad thing. Start today.
This!! I can't seem to get motivated unless I'm taking care of others. I never learned how to take care of me. What do I even like? What foods do I like to eat?
Omg, thank you for sharing this. I felt the same way a few years ago, I had no passion at all for my life, and that precisely I think is part of our journey as an INFJs … when i tried to match in the outside world it made me feel miserable… and then, got into a crisis breaking point, which was crucial to jump to my inward world and started to get to know me. And then… almost like magic, my inside world started to grow and that’s how I got obsessed for my self development. It’s quite a journey!
I have watched around 100 youtube videos on INFJs through various TH-cam channels in the last 2 years. She is the only TH-camr that I know who does the actual sensible deep talk on INFJs. Almost every other channel just throws surface level facts on INFJs. No one else discusses about various topics like Wenzes does. It was late but glad that I came across this channel.
This is the first channel I've seen on the subject. Looks like I chose well, then.
Yes I agree with that. She is coaching us where the others seem mostly interested in simply identifying us. This particular video is one of the rare ones where Wenzes is talking about identifying characteristics. But even here she is going much deeper than most of the others do.
Not only one, but clearly the best channel regarding this topic
I agree 💯
definitely agree, most channels ive viewed as well have been very surface level. And when they do point out issues they are rarely followed by actionable solutions or even different paths of thinking
Sometimes it's a very lonely place to be. It's often exhausting.
When I dumb myself down, people think I am smart. When I speak in ways that impress myself, most people don't feel they get me, or even think I am not making sense or just babble
Found out I was an INFJ at the age of 24 in college (now 49) it explained a lot. My mom always told me, “if you’re everybody’s cheerleader then who is yours.”
She also said it’s like Superman saving Lois when she says, if you got me then whose got you! 😊
So meditation, yoga to grounding as well as other techniques help me. So thankful my mother talked to me about self care for my personality type.
Thank you for these thoughtful videos you are awesome! ❤
You look amazingly younger than 49.
@@williamkoscielniak7871 Thank you; your so very kind 🦋
Your mother sounds amazing. Great questions I started to ask myself: Who's there for you, Who's cheering you on, who's coming to save you?
In the beginning when u said ppl and ur husband dont get ur videos i actually started laughing, cuz as an infj I think nobody understands me, i constantly say i must be speaking Korean. I think im gonna be watching a lot of your channel 💜
👏 yes this is exactly what i thought aswell, I always say that I must be speaking Chinese or a foreign language 😅 🙏🫶
That coldness is no joke...I did not expect my neutral attitude about terminating a life while serving in the military.
My infant grandson was catastrophically injured during birth leaving him only the ability to breathe and digest. It absolutely wrecked all of us. When my son and daughter-in-law made the decision to remove his tube feedings and let nature take its course I took over his care. I reduced his feedings over a couple days and could see the relief in his body not being forced to take in so much. I had to withstand my daughter-in-law's begging for me to feed him, her sobbing and devastation of watching his body lose weight. She accused me of not loving him.
I would have to remind her why they made the decision and remove his hat to show her the perfect little boy she made was injured beyond repair as his brain was dissolving away and his skull was collapsing in.
My entire family was in shock at how I was able to assist my grandson in his great need.
Although, I wouldn't use the word cold. It's better described as clinically practical. It was what was needed/required so had to be done as efficiently as possible.
It was extremely painful, but that wasn't a factor in what was needed
Lol... boot camp indocs you to sociopathy
I've been accused of being cold- blooded.
One technique that helped me to confirm being INFJ is to study, review, and reflect on the lives of known famous INFJs along with a few that are closely related but very distinct (such as INTJ, INFP, ENFJ as examples). INFJs grow fiercely independent as unique adults but still have introverted visions/intuition of life's potential while understanding people at large. Unless parents and siblings were empathetic and caring during childhood, INFJs grow up with emotional scars but usually stay focused internally through pain and quite often will fight back ferociously on several levels when strong personalities try to bend, mold, punish, or manipulate an INFJ wanting to be left in peace. Observing without judgment, random famous INFJs are very different even inside as a group but all usually treat fame, fortune, and privilege in a measured way and yet still stay themselves regardless of the outside environment. Note by contrast, INFPs are much more emotional introverts who are extremely vulnerable to downsides of personal intrusions of fame. INTJs treat fame through their very high IQ logical intellects. ENFJs are just as determined intuitives as INFJs but simply must publicly socialize a lot and put much more worry on fame (endlessly talking, will it ever stop?! 😁). Famous INFJ musicians worth reviewing include Billy Corgan, Michael MacDonald, Marilyn Manson, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, George Harrison, Stevie Nicks, Brian Wilson, Jarrod Leto, and Mark Hollis as examples (I deliberately stayed away from politicians or religious figures to review personalities hopefully leaving out controversy to study). These famous INFJ musicians are not generally altered by fame internally but certainly have a provocative unique vision artistically. One final distinction is that each of these very different INFJs can hold a deeper and sophisticated interview and yet be balanced speaking on numerous subjects with moderation between rational and.intuitive thoughts in conversation.
At age 62 and years of therapy I finally understood many things about myself
Every time I listen to your words I reconnect and make peace with myself… one thing is to know who you are, another is to be recognized by someone else for who you truly are. For that I really thank you ❤
My 2 clear signs are my left and my right eyes. No but seriously, INFJ's collectively have the most beautiful damned eyes.
One of my favorite movie lines is by Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Bandits (paraphrase):
You know the problem with being this smart? You know what's going to happen. There's no suspense.
One of my favorite movies
Learning about infj has helped me to finally understand my whole family. Many breakthroughs, now just trying for acceptance but so painful and hurtful, especially knowing that my narcissistic family will never change. I've outgrown them all, but still wish I could have a real & true relationship with my three siblings. Both my parents are dead, yet they both live on through my siblings. Every morning when I wake up, my thoughts go to them. It would be nice to be able to put it down once and for all. The obstacle is that I love them all so much😢
When it comes to narcissistic people, it is advised that one should keep no-contact/low-contact with them. Sounds like you're in the throes of trauma-bonding &, unfortunately, you may not get the clarity & strength enough to cut that cord until alot of precious stuff is lost irrecoverably, chief of which is TIME. I'd recommend that you checked into therapy & this should help you discern issues, build resolve & salvage some of those stuff! Be well.
my story too 🫂
Aww... how about 7 siblings... to grieve them or hold out hope for them... indeed the question. I understand you.
My parents are gone too but I know they loved me. I wish my sisters and my children would talk to me. I love them unconditionally and I can't understand why they can just suddenly cut me off without warning or explanation.
How many siblings and children do they think I have?
Why can't we be a family? Allow for different opinions? I helped whenever they asked, but the moment I reluctantly asked for help, they didn't want to even talk.
@recoveringsoul755 Thanks for sharing that. My daughter and I are trying to have some sort of relationship, but I think there's unforgiveness in the mix, same with my siblings. So, I don't really talk to any of them at the moment. I'm done begging or bribing my own family to love me. They'll always see me as damaged, the scapegoat. Still, I'll never give up on them because I do love them unconditionally. I know what you mean about no explanation. Same here. My dad loved me but not my mother. That's a whole 'nother can of worms!
5 CLEAR SIGNS YOU ARE A TRUE INFJ
1. You understand people's hidden agendas insecurities & motives -> 1:21
2. You are able to absorb people's emotional states -> 3:27
3. You mentally resilient to be different -> 6:31
4. You feel cold inside -> 8:34
5. You are taking responsibility about how other ppl feel about them selves -> 1:33
Wenzes is the INFJ “whisperer,” with the ability to speak to the very soul of the INFJ, so grateful for the time she puts into her presentations.🙏.✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️
I can't believe you have articulated this!!! I've known it but cant define or convey it. You just did. I am very grateful. Knowing this is a game changer, especially 5.
Being an INFJ is so deep. Everything is so deep.
i grew up with narcissistic parents and a very narcissistic older sister who would always come to me to speak about her relationship issues since my parents didn't want to deal with that. i always had to console her and act like a therapist while she didn't even listen to me and just left me with all of her problems - she did the same thing to my other siblings but at some point i was the only one listening to her because i felt guilty.
it got so bad that i went to a therapist at age 14 although my parents were strictly against it. my mom even told me to not talk about the family since everything was "fine".
ever since then i stopped feeling guilty towards toxic people, and i started leaning more into my introverted thinking when it comes to those people. your videos really helped me a lot getting to know myself more and dealing with my insecurities from the past so i can grow up emotionally. thank you so much for helping people like me!
Oh god, I had the exact same story except without other siblings and no therapy 😅
Youre an INFJ if you can shoot laser beams out of your eyes. Right when i started doing this, it sealed the deal for me; I finally knew I was an INFJ.
...or a Scorpio. If you are both like me, you can download lots of extensions for the program. My fav is the one that gives you a medusa snake halo at the same time as laser contact is made with the other individual.
It happened so many times in my life that the biggest crushes I’ve had were with suffering people that I felt I could heal with love, and felt so ashamed of my coldness towards other partners that they didn’t had any issues to compensate…. I. Both cases due to my inexperience I ended up alone and disconnected with the world
Wenzes!!
keep doing it, you are creating change, you are helping unknown people.
i am grateful that you exist here freely.
Something I’ve really had to get a grip on is seeing the underlying intentions of people as clear as day and nobody else seeing the obviousness of it and I’m just like, do you guys really not see that this person is evil or lying or whatever? And because it’s so obvious to me, it’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that they really don’t see it. This feeling has led me into creating an account to raise awareness on narcissistic abuse manipulation tactics. It gives me satisfaction to help people see what’s obvious to me. I just found your account btw, I love your discussions 🙏🏼
Hey!!! I have been led to do the same!
Every single point holds true for me, especially absorbing others’ emotional states and taking responsibility for how others feel about themselves. I am 48 and realised I am an INFJ just one year back, after severe burnout on account of hollowing myself out too much. Wenzes, you are a saviour. After listening to your advice and taking action, I feel I have reclaimed myself.
I completely lose it at funerals for people I never even knew or even met!!
I'd get taken by my SO almost like he was trying to hurt me and drain me for weeks, or he was using me to prove to others that he was upset.
Once he even THANKED me for crying because he said he couldn't cry
Wow, this video is so relatable! As an INFJ, I've always felt like I have a deep understanding of people's hidden agendas, insecurities, and motives. It's like I can see beyond their external facade and understand what's really going on inside them. And the ability to absorb other people's emotional states is so true! I feel like I can put myself in their shoes and feel what they're feeling. It's like I'm a supporting role in their movie, helping them through their struggles and triumphs. Thank you for making this video, it's really helped me understand myself better. 😊
Videos like this and Meme after meme after meme. Sometimes I burst into tears reading one realizing I WASN’T a freak.
I do understand your videos and relate heavily to them. I am good at social chameleoning and that can be exhausting. A lot of the music from my childhood is music that was “imprinted” on me by the people I admired/loved/cared most about. I enjoy exploring other people’s identities and doing things they love because I get to experience that excitement and joy. I can put myself in someone else’s shoes and feel what they’re feeling and sense their motives and reasoning. I also have been trying not to make a habit of that because it does take a toll on my energy.
Since finding out I was INFJ 4 years ago I’ve flip flopped on my type due to having scored differently on various tests. I have always resonated with the INFJ type but my confidence and sense of self was suffering at the time and it still does sometimes but a lot less. I wonder if my confusion about who I am comes down to my ability to be able to put myself in someone else’s shoes? It’s not that I change who I am but I can get along so well with almost anyone.
I totally relate to your comment. I have come to this conclusion as well. I’ve tested as an ENFP, ENFJ, INTP and INFP on various occasions but I’ve also tested as an INFJ. And I believe that I am truly an INFJ, because I resonate more with its identifying marks. I think the only reason why I tested in those other areas is because I can be a great chameleon. Also, because of my ability to understand the MBTI very well, I feel that I can actually tap into each of those other personalities whenever I want. But ultimately it’s because I’m an INFJ that I’m able to do that. When I think about what I was as a child, I was naturally an INFJ.
Hi Wenzes, I feel relieved and finally understand my behavior, reactions, and responses.
I always feel I am different and think that there is something wrong with me.
Most people don't have a clue about who INFJs are.
And I always feel like an outsider observing the world with people and events.
I see more than I tell out of self-preservation for the majority of people can't face the truth and most don't even want to know despite what they may claim.
Thank you so much. I feel I finally being understood and I am not alone. And I am 58 years old. I guess better late than never.
Wow. Your inside my head. I took the test a few years ago knowing nothing about it. I was told I was one of the weird ones by my counselor. He explained what an INFJ was. Now that I have located these videos, watching them and reading comments is like I found people from the same planet as me, which is not this planet. Thank you
sou brasileiro e INFJ e as vezes ainda fico fascinado pelo fato de que outros infj de outros paises passam por situações muito parecidas com as minhas por conta de sermos estranhos.
Uma pena que aqui no brasil não temos uma comunidade tão grande como vocês, e isso torna as coisas mais dificeis
A natureza humana é bastante semelhante, apesar da cultura. É por isso que temos tantas experiências semelhantes. Que bom que você está vendo esses vídeos. Acho que eles vão te ajudar muito.
TH-cam is a great help in that way!! These videos help us feel understood, which maybe we don't feel with those around us. It's so cool connecting with people around the world, struggling with the same feelings. ❤❤❤
@@megan2176 I often wish that I'd found out about the Myers-Briggs indicator as a teenager.
1. motive and agenda - I know through pattern that they showed in front of me
2. absorb - sometime this ability overwhelmed me.
3. mentallity reselient - no bully can hurt me. at some point friends stop bully, and become depending - coz I help them a lot. maybe they afraid that I help them no more if they hurt/ bully me.
4. cool inside: true
5. responsibility: just wonder why others cant understand themself, coz it so clearly for me
The last thing you shared here is such an amazing mind-blowing insight! ❤️
This video seals it for me.
I am definitely INFJ.
I appreciate this channel so much.
At first this deeper understanding that I may be INFJ and what it means was so liberating, but then very disorientating.
Now it feels much better, bit by bit.
Same
One time I was at Jack in the Box and there was probably a 55 year old woman working there. She was absolutely working her ass off and doing a really good job. She was very polite and professional too. It made me cry when I got home. This strong woman gets up every day and puts that jack in the box manager name tag on and busts her ass for a little bit of money. It made me think about her whole life and how it led up to that point. No one gets to that point from a comfortable life. I felt her pain and I felt her will to overcome that pain and her will not to be embarrassed about her work, and to take pride in her work. That's when I realized I was different than everyone else, and I didn't want to be. I've always just wanted to blend in.
I relate to all the signs, but nr 4 feeling cold inside, brought me to tears, i always felt so alone in this feeling, i dont have any infj’s around me, no one understands when i try explaining i feel a bit emotionally numb, to hear you say it here and how i am not alone in this feeling was such.., i needed to hear that😭❤️🩹
Yes , I am sure absolutely I am an INFJ , all my life I have worked as a social worker , and people always give me compliments because I have a deep connection with my clients .
Now I am ready to do something for my self , that’s important ❤
I've never received a thank you from anyone I helped with my insight, even if said advice ended up improving their living conditions and literally saved a relationship that still lasts after 9 years. Instead, there was a small argument a while later and it resulted in both sides being too prideful to reach out and now we haven't talked in 2 years... Friendships...
When you said not being broken by things that would break people is not something to be ashamed of it hit
each and every aspect you said here is true for me ✨
Appreciated this content gerl! One friend closest to me, gets me quite well, says I can be way off in how correct i am in evaluating other people's stuff ( motives, etc ), I'm better at getting it thus hitting the nail on the head with interpreting others' emotions, true for myself anyway. Handling it like an INFJ, on the inside...is true too, differently that is, toughing it out better then those around you even in the same situation, yes!
I never doubted about it. I found out I am an INFJ only 3 years ago, when I was very very ill, doctors were not able to find a cause and a cure and I was searching on the net for possible explanations and treatments, and YT kept suggesting me videos about INFJ (it was quite strange to me back then, but it turned out it practically saved my life), I took the test and after that my whole life (including health condition) finally made sense
Everything finally makes sense, yeah
This channel is so helpful. There were so many things I wasn't really aware of in myself until I watched your videos. INFJ's are so keenly aware of what's going on within other people, but so clueless about themselves. 😅
I hope someday to hear you talk about what psychological and emotional traumas create empaths (becoming an empath is essentially a trauma response) and how we can successfully navigate this blurse (blessing + curse) in a way that isn't harmful to us! I've had to dramatically limit my interactions with other people and live by myself because of this.
Thank you for your wonderful content! 🙏
Ive only recently at the age of 55 learned that i am an INFJ, and its difficult to face, although its liberating also watching your videos. I concur with everything you say although i dont feel cold inside, detached often yes, but if cold means I have very dark emotions about certain people that i consider frauds or see there agenda then yes. I see them. Your channel is great thank you
A search for Musicians who are INFJs just 2 days ago brought up all my favorite artists. A true connection in my book. Shannon Hoon and Kevin Parker are two of my very favorites. The songs they sing flow through my soul.
I absolutely love your analogies. I coupled this with my birth chart placements and 💥 heavy 6 & 8th house. Psychological autopsies are my speciality. I read body language without trying and know what people think just by reading their aura. It's a good gift to have and be able to avoid certain personalities. Others are harder to read but usually have more to hide. Excellent advice here 👍.
Hi Wenzes, You are spot on! Again! There are two things. That last part, about people don't appreciate your help. That's at the short term! I already know in front that most people reject it or getting angry. That's why I like to drop questions in their minds first. And then just sometimes add something and again and so on. So they don't get the feeling you are pushing your advice on them or that you read them like a book. For them it feels more like a coincidence or something that apparently I feel (too) and I am talking about myself, while instead I imagine being them and from that standpoint talking how I feel and what is maybe best. Or even then ask them for advice! This way they answer to themselves or at least start thinking about it. In this way they just see you as some one with similar thoughts and that way they will appreciate you in the longer term!
What also happened a lot, is that people showed disliking me when I always was around. But after not seeing each other for a long time, people act as if I was their best friend then! And they show genuine happiness when seeing me!
So I think that is just my fate and I have to find my happiness this way! Not being anybodies friend or getting gratitude for the seeds I have plant, but just to see that my contribution to help people, or better the world, worked in a way! This worked especially well when i worked in prison and could drop seeds in the minds of inmates! Later, I could see I made an impact on them, just by their reaction of seeing me and the way the looked at me! Then I truly had the feeling I did something well!
The second is hidden in the first. That doing this gives me joy, although I do not directly get joy back or even can have friends or good relations with people. I just scare them anyways! Oh, I just remember, people who do appreciate me are people with low self-control or are always "on". So people who are always on the edge, trying to not constantly explode! Those people like to be with me because I do not judge them, and am in a way that voice that they mis doing damage control!
I knew years ago that I'm INFJ, but until I came upon this channel, I never knew what it meant. I've now seen my third video, and I feel like I've found the rest of me! 😘
And what makes it truly special is that less than a year ago, in the middle of my eighth decade, I found out I'm autistic. That discovery answered so many questions! and I've spent the past few months learning about autism. Now I have something new to learn and I'm thrilled!
Thank you! 🥰
Well done! That's awesome
Thank you as usual. You are an INFJ genius. I am indeed in the process of building the yellow rabbit. Appreciate you and what you do for us INFJ's Have made so many mistakes.....
The 4th point you said is how I am now after weeks that there's no way you could've known that. I am mind blown that it is a trait! All of them are spot on I have 0 doubts now. 🤯
The significant difference for me or typical is the „cold inside“ and resilient AF 🤪😉 and therefor trying to be extra nice and supportive 😅😇 This is so important for INFJs to become aware of and starting to do it more consciously. THANK YOU so much for that video 🙏🏼💪🏼❤️💯
On the first one this is 100% one of my frustrations when other people get taken in by a manipulator. I don’t know how many times I’ve said “how do you not see who they are?” This is helpful to recognize that other people don’t see the agendas and I shouldn’t be so surprised that they don’t get it.
Ok.. the responsibility and the cold/ overcompensating points got to me. That‘s why I always fall back nto getting absorbed by others lifes. I strongly feel for all the quote on quote weirdos … simply people, who struggle to fit in, due to their alternate perspectives, extraordinary ideas or strange hobbies. Many (but not all) of these people suffer from severe mental illnesses, are neurodivergent (diagnosed) or similar things…I Want to make them feel loved, accepted, understood, apprechiated and feel welcome so badly (because I adore and admire every single one of them so very much), that I totally get sucked into their world and give myself away and disrespect my own needs.
There is another tricky aspect to this: This behaviour distracts me from constantly wondering, pondering, doubting and driving myself crazy about the question WHO I AM and who I want to be in this world. I‘m 33 by now and still can‘t figure it out, because I can relate to almost everything, to a certain degree, but I’m not able to feel a realy deep connection to anything. It seems, nothing put there is realy for me… Does this make sense at all?
I still don‘t know, if Iam an INFJ, because I get confused by the behavioural patterns I see in people very often. And I often miss certain things and signs other quote on quote empaths recognize. Maybee that‘s because I try so hard to focus on the good and just characteristics in every person I meet, because otherwise I get depressed and frustrated with the world very easily. And I try to ignoriere certain red flaggs, because they are non of my business, for I’m not involved in a certain situation and if I see, I can’t unsee and then I feel responsible to engage in the Situation and… Folks…I realy don‘t know…😔
I am so happy, because i feel understood, and you helped me so that I don't feel so bad because others don't care about me as much as I do about them. Thank you!❤
2:40 woman, you gave me goosebumps for real. I literally was thinking about these words and it made me question some things. You are the only one who made me sure of my type, what a relief
At 64, I'm tired of helping people.
Sign 3 has been one of the biggest for me. It's one of the things that I struggled with for so long until I learned about MBTI and learned about INFJ. Everything suddenly made so much more sense to me.
This is helpful. This is not like 99% videos on the internet saying all superficial idealized stuff of INFJs. The coldness and the empathy combined in a person is true. I have always thought ENFJ with Fe hero and Ni parent should just do what INFJs do: knowing others’ agenda and have empathy for others.
ENFJs are quick on judging the emotional states of others because they are judgers after all. However, if you look closer, ENFJs judge quick but they don’t have the accuracy that INFJs have.
ENFJs are more like confident in their guess but INFJs genuinely observe and analyze before making any point.
Fe of ENFJs are more like they are familiar with social norms of what causes what feelings in people, they do not pay as much attention to the unique circumstances of the person they are facing as INFJs. Ie. ENFJs’ Fe empathy is more impersonal and standardized while INFJs Fe empathy is more in tune with the person in question.
That’s how INFJs are called mind-readers.
This is actually surface level content predicated on ubiquitous behavioural stereotypes with a lack of empirical backing/robust literature such as Jung to back it up. I'm not negating that Wenzes truly believes that she is helping people & indeed many ESFPs & people of certain personality traits will highly relate to the content but Wenzes is not a cognitive INFJ. INFJs are NiTi cerebral abstract rationalists like the ENFJ they are logically predictive, the INFJ is not an empath or at least not one of the types to be considered as such. I highly recommend checking out Cognitive Personality Theory for a cognitive approach, as Jung intended, towards typology & the accompanying acclaimed ebook. Harry himself is an INFJ which will give anyone a good gage as to whether they are one or not. There's no shame in mistyping; I was mistyped prior to being typed professionally & as a divergent TiNi ENFJ I can unambiguously state Wenzes is a divergent NiFi ESFP; her limbic backbone & blind NiTi is highly apparent.
Oh my gosh that clicked at the end. I don't feel anything so I have to build something for myself. I think you just changed my life.
Yet again you have completely blown my mind Wenzes! ❤ Thank you 🙏 I will be paying lots more attention to my yellow rabbit going forward and conditioning myself properly 💗🐰
Wenzes you truly spot on with the 5 traits. My only inclusion to these statements are that a true INFJ is discovered through their level of maturity, as you get older and more self-aware and self-conscious you find your true personality. God Bless
I'm a 13 years old INFJ, and I'm still on the way of learning with these skills I have.
Sometimes I questioned myself 'Am I really an INFJ?' because I have a hard time understanding all of the emotions that comes over and absorbed.
'Is this my own emotions or others?'
I get confused and feel drained and overwhelmed.
…At least I think so?? Sometimes I really doesn't know what is going on in my mind :') Neither do I know how to express them… 😢
I shall keep on learning more about myself! :))
Hope I can be that INFJ someday!!
(Determination ☆)
Hi there! You're likely an INFJ if this video resonates with you... from your message you seem like an INFJ :)
@@Abulina09 Hii thanks for your comment!
I actually am not sure if I can reads people's like Wenze said in the video, cause the INFJs all seems to claims that is indeed their strength.
Or perhaps I just doesn't really meet people or get in social interactions that much?
I do relates that I can read through some of them, but sometimes I doesn't because of stress??… Ahh this is kinda a mess right now, guess I'll have to experience more to find out ahaha :)
Your best video yet - feels like you have also come to realisations in it too. 👍
yes, I felt that too
I picked up the emotions of a grieving woman at a funeral when I hugged her. I was fine before the hug but after the hug I was sobbing and I felt her sadness for days.
With the last example I don't feel like i need the appreciation. I just feel it needs to be done. It's amazing how you compile these lists
Wow! Mind blown and feeling very grateful for your explanations. I have been (finally!) figuring these things out. It's a great relief to hear it's "normal" for my personality type.
Awesome! Thank you!!❤❤❤❤
Imagine if we talked about The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit as much as we talk about ourselves.
Yes- humility in acknowledging that anything good we have or do is not from us but from God. It has given me great solace to see relate INFJ to how Jesus walked this earth, to see how my focusing on God’s Will is what is leading me more and more to be like Him in how I see the world, others, and myself. To feel seen and not alone, to be completely understood by Him. All praises be to the King of Kings… and the Lord our God, He is Wonderful.
Thank you! Keep it up! I FOUND ME!+
so, the smallest group has the most people claiming it - imagine that...
This resonates deeply. Thank you so much for this insight.
Yep. I'm 63 yrs old and finally got free of infj habits that were, oh let's be honest Screwed me out of my life.
I had to dump all the baggage and people. Yes Ive have that cold feeling inside. Had it from a young age. I thought it was from being an orphan and growing up with no love.. But yeah an everyone I know couldnt take a miniscule of what I been through and put up with and come out sane and not on drugs. But I retired myself from a lot of people cause I missed my life overcompensating and caring about weak people for years. Always helping and being there for everyone and everything but myself. Because I felt I should care..... But faith got me through. I however love the life lessons I learned despite the time I lost. Now I enjoy my time alone and I say no.
My time is short and its mine now.....oh joy
I find so much comfort from your videos, thank you so much for making them.❤
This one rang very true for me, and as always, it got me right where I live.
It was especially interesting to see how #3, #4, and #5 fit together. I appreciate how you pointed out that the answer to all of this is to continue to work on ourselves. That makes a lot of good, logical sense.
I would be hard-put to list logical reasons why, but I have a hunch that these five signs are the reason why the INFJ is sometimes called "the introvert most likely to be mistaken for an extrovert," - although I can certainly say that I have no trouble calling myself an introvert. 🙂
Interesting video! It put a lot of things together that we have probably suspected all along, but here it's explained in an understandable way.
I find myself becoming more of ENFJ, socially because it prevents a lot of harm that comes from living in the INFJ mindset. I’m an INFJ when I’m at home, though
But many of the things she's describing are also features of ENFJ . Whoever think that ENFJs are more easily or understand less than INFJs is wrong . ENFJs,& INFJs are really similar in many things . But this woman from her videoes. Her content seem more appealing for ENFJs than INFJs which doesn't differeniate between the 2
Wow! I feel like you've been in my head and seen what's going on there. Thank you for putting words on my feelings and thoughts. ❤❤❤
So on point as always. Interesting side i discovered. I am a Capricorn sun, Pieces moon, and Leo rising- a perfect INFJ combo.
Have you created a video on riding the political fence as an INFJ?
I'm INTJ, but I also understand you and find your videos relatable and helpful, so not only INFJs can benefit from your videos✨
I often find myself being insensitive to people's feelings when they break down over what to me is miniscule. And about seeing people's agenda's I usually call it seeing through people like they are glass and I can clearly see everything within them . Everything you said I deeply related to , and the way you worded it gave me a different angle to view myself so thank you, well done
4:30 i wish i had this video a couple years back , it would've saved me lot of hurt and possible mistakes made
Wow... this video makes perfect sense! I'm absolutely flabbergasted right now.
All of this explains why I find existence so difficult 😂
Haven’t been on this channel off your for a few years you really have found your peace internally ❤
Well 5 out of 5, I finally discovered who I am last year or my label.....but I would not trade who I am for nothing!!!! OMG I wish everybody was a INFJ the world would be perfect.
Every one of the five is perfect. Number 5 has a subtle pattern change: a yellow rabbit. This is a nice touch by Wenzes as it gives me a way out of my own self-imposed rabbit holes. Yay yippeeee. 🎯🌞🐬
I listen to several different counselors talking about INFJ, and it all
adds Up , it all makes sense -- except for today's number 5. Only half of it seems to apply. Maybe that belongs in the list of "dysfunctional INFJ" & I am recovering from that.
Just a thought.
I concur. Number five did not seem to be a complete fit for me, either. I have never felt guilty about being who I am, only confused about a lot of it. And frustrated. Until recently.
Most people who have problems INFJ'S are supportive friends they don't know everything a person is going through in reality the person can use their minds to figure out how to help themselves we don't grow if we just rely on other people to feel better .
❤I have also said "Disagree with your opinion but totally defend your right to hold it and would like to explore this" Have always felt different from others
Trying to explain to people why you’re different as an INFJ feels like trying to explain to a psychiatrist that you’re not mad
It's almost eerie watching your videos :) Thank you for all your hard work, much appreciated!❤
Holy crap!! This is dead nuts on point for so many thoughts and things that have happened to me. Wow, can't believe some of the random points you've made, that I thought nobody else was thinking as well. Just crazy.
First time listening, I cried on the part of helping someone you love who ends up treating you so badly and they pushed me away after 20 years of me understanding there pain but took it out on me to the point i left them and it has done a number on me because I thought my love would change them, it was my husband. Im trying to get over being mad at myself for trusting someone with my heart, i feel dooped, so many feelings I can't express and YES no one ever understands who I am or cares to get deep in anything, most people live in a cheap in the moment of what it can do for them to get there fix. Plastic, fake reality the world feeds them . Many could care less about WHY, I always want to know why? In everything not just because someone said so. I need proof, deepness, ect. So yah,its hard for me to meat and find Real genuine souls to trust, im alone even when im with co workers, i fade out in my mind, I find them boring, fake, annoying, just not good. Sounds bad but thats how i feel so I am alone 90%of the time. I like talking to strangers the most.
Never heard this explained like this! You pegged it!