How to Keep Momentum with Someone You’re Talking to Long-Distance (Matthew Hussey)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
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Directed by JAMESON JORDAN
Starring
MATTHEW HUSSEY
OLIVIA SCOTT - oliviaelizabethscott.com
JESSE PEPE - / jpeemusic
VFX by JOSHUA JORDAN
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Maybe you went into the quarantine with a love interest already who is now “long-distance.”
Or maybe you just met someone online during isolation.
Either way, my guess is you want it to actually go somewhere and not fizzle out during this time while you can’t see each other.
So how do you keep the momentum going? Today’s brand spanking new video (woohoo) shows you exactly that, with something blindingly obvious that 99% of people are not using to their advantage.
If you feel like you had a connection with someone, but now you’re worried you’re becoming invisible to him, the advice in today’s video is for you.
And if you just met, this will make you stand out from anyone else he may be talking to. Once you try this, your voice will be a burst of color in a sea of gray interactions. And to help illustrate my point, I’ve taken us back to the 1920s...
Stay strong, friend.
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"A voice, on the telephone..?"
That's wonderful!
That killed me! 😂😂😂😂😂
😂👍
I met my boyfriend the last day he was in Vietnam and had to fly back to his country the next day, but we exchanged facebook. And on the very next day, he called me. And since then, we have been talking to each other every day for the past 485 days 😊 we have been in LDR for 1 year and a half now. He always manages to voice call/video call me once a day or will drop me lots of messages on those days he is busy or on trips. He came visit me in Vietnam 5 months ago and we strengthened our relationship. A lot of my friends wondered how we could maintain a LDR for that long and talk to eachother ~1-3 hours a day without being bored. I told them "only boring people have boring life, my boyfriend and I are fun enough for eachother"
I’d like to request more long distance centered videos!
Me too!
me toooo
Me toooo
This one is the one
Yes please
I don't know why this is not at least mentioned it every single comment but... This video is suuuuuuuch a braingasm! I looooooooove the metaphore with the mute movie and then breaking the convention in the end when they're on the street and find they look fantastic! 😂😂😂 I love how thought through and artistic your videos are when you decide to take them on this level, it's such a celebration of class and wittiness!
I'm a guy and this is one of the most useful tips I've ever heard.
The entire format of this video the silent film, the black and white to color, all of it was BRILLIANT Matthew! Really well done!
I also love sending physical letter for the same reason. It open more senses (I always vaporize some "pschiit" of my parfume on the letter, so when she get the letter, my parfume will float in the in all flat, sometimes for few days). It stand out of the crowd. And letter leave more space to write long message, and the impossibility to erase/change make it more spontaneous and give more place for our humanity.
I remember first time I sent him voice message (we haven't met yet), his reaction was: "your voice! ✨". I'm still doing it time to time and also video messages and pictures, to keep myself "real" for him, it works perfectly 😍
Just when you were talking about voice messages my boyfriend sent me a voice message!! Hahahhaha
He also just watched this video haha. That's so funny!
Happy for you 🥰
He is doing it right haha
I had been texting and video chatting for about two weeks with a guy I met online. Everything seemed to be going well, especially our last video chat. Then the next day, he didnt text me all day. Later that night I asked (by text) how his day had been, and he didnt seem to want to talk. The next day, too. I asked if he'd want to video chat over the weekend and he was like "well, I'm busy these days, maybe next week." I asked if I had done something wrong, and he said no, he just wanted to take a step back. I really dont get what happened. We had such good calls and I thought we were getting kind of close. Then he just straight up ghosts me. Does anyone know what the hell went wrong?
....Why are you watching dating advice videos if you have a boyfriend
Someone I matched with on Hinge just sent me a voice message today. I was impressed.
3:06 had me ugly laughing 😂
This is so simple yet so effective. Just sent a voice note to someone because this was just so charming to watch, even though I've been too shy to share my voice to the person I've been pursuing. Thanks Matthew!
At this point, im just watching this because it's entertaining xD
20’s throwback garb is epic 😄 Also, the standout is the 🔑, when a guy messages 1st and says, “hey” “hi” or “hello” without anything else, I usually don’t even respond. At least include my name and a question? Or crack joke, that definitely gets my attention. This convo is a 2-way street... let’s use our imagination and tell a story together 💝
I like the voice note it definitely stands out and anchors the positive emotions associated with when you were with that person.
Great video and Well Done, Jameson! Your creativity here is only paralleled by the effortless way you capture the magic of the Retreats.
Love this video, perfect timing. I just had an ex boyfriend send me a voice message today to re-connect funny enough. I am on a dating app and a guy in Germany came across me, I am in Canada. We seem to have a really good connection. Neither of us as concerned about the distance, both of us would be prepared to do a long distance thing. I have previously dated someone across the world (we did not break up bc of distance). The voice message is definitely something I will use to bring more emotion to our discussions. Thank you Matt. Wish me luck.
Damn it, Matthew. Voice messages have been my secret weapon for years! You have exposed my secrets
I LOVE using voice notes. Also makes the jump from text to phone call or FaceTime a lot easier
I love it when a leave voice note
No, no and no. I hate voicemail. It catches me off guard: can I still reply with a text? Or they expect me to send them a voicemail? But I don't like voicemail! It's weird when it comes from people you haven't met in person. You wanna know what my voice sounds like ? Call me.
I'm forever using voice notes on WhatsApp / Instagram/ Snapchat. I spend a good amount of time learning from this channel, but its refreshing to know that I'm also doing some right things naturally 😉. Thanks for the confidence boost!
Loved this! The old style ‘silent’ movie element was great! I actually lol’d when she
mouthed ‘f*ck’ 😂
I love sending voice notes...so good 👍🏻
LOL I'm so glad I'm truly focused on me and building my internal joy and hobbies now, not trying to force some relationship during a crazy time like this. ESPECIALLY with what's out on the market...
This is excellent advice, however, I would prefer he call from the beginning to ask her how her day was . Or at the very least lead the conversation with a voice text .
I started sending these more over the past year, total different vibe in the relations with friends.
So in the past month i made them part of dating...well, game changer! I guess we'll see, cause the graduation to phone dates and even video dates have been amazing in this stay at home time
YES!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!! oh my god... I can't stand when I send a VN and the guy replies a TEXT....
Let me just say that this was amazing Matthew!
Is that the guy that was singing the Limbo song??
Yes. Jesse Pepe.
yes
Awwww this is so true,especially for long distance relationships.
Video calling is the best
The girl saying "fuck" and the text going "oh darn" is peak comedy!
Unfortunately this might not work for introverts, specially those who dislikes phone calls or Face Time.
I get what you are saying. I am a HUGE introvert, I HATE FaceTiming and I HATE phone calls, but voice messages are different. Also because it's just as texting, but without all that overthinking ("Should I add an emoji? Exclamation point? Damn, that's a typo!"). Voice messages are more spontaneous, and spontaneity is the key to a good communication
As a fellow introvert (and overthinker), I totally agree that texting has strong advantages ! I get to have time to type out precisely what I want to say (my texts are far more interesting than the examples in the video if I may say so), the person doesn't have to bring their phone to their ear if the setting isn't convenient for it, and the weird competition he brings up in the video... it won't motivate me to modify how I prefer to do things, at all, if someone has their attention given in a shallow way to a large number of women, just to be ""above the rest"". It's just weird.
I'm an introvert and on the contrary I hate texting more than voice chat communcation. Texting is tedious, it gets boring and I don't really feel "accompanied" by the person I'm texting with. Discord voice chats are so more emotionally engaging and fun.
I'm with you , I hate voicemail, I will still reply with a text .
I'm an Introvert and so is my bestie. We can (and have) chatted on Skype for up to 8 hours per video phone call. It really depends if I am comfortable with who I'm speaking with.
I am very against long distance relationships. Physical connection is so important. But I’ve found myself talking to this guy a lot and I have no idea how to navigate the situation, we could be in lockdown for 4 or 5 more months?! I don’t even know if he’s a good kiss?! But I’m getting invested because he’s a catch and I don’t want to friend zone him.
Why did you take down the video that was up yesterday? I was looking forward to watching it this morning! 😩
MissAshleyPants SAME
diana banana I hope he responds and at least lets us know what it was about and why he took it down!
Great tip Matthew! I’m definitely going to utilize that voice note.
It doesnt matter what you do. I had a guy calling me or videoing. I liked him but we are not together. If its meant to be it will be
The same happened to me too. It's all the same if there is no real interest in getting to know the other person🤷♀️
@@oanabucur7759 yes and whether you text or call it doesnt matter that much
@@How.Dare.You. : I think we should take every piece of advice with a pinch of salt. In the end we are all blindly seeking something meaningful (Well, maybe Not exactly all of us, but the people who watch such Videos) and it all comes down to wether the both of you want the same things in life and you
are both at a time in your lives where it all kinda comes together... Which seems simple, but it is actually infinitely complicated.
I agree with Oana Bucur, and worry about the original message, the idea that you can't do anything about it. Really? Good luck with getting what you want. Hopefully you are not as nihilistic/fatalistic as you make yourself sound. There are definitely things you can do about it, but of course it's not a good idea to force things together that don't want to fit together
I swear by this. Because you can hear their voice and emotions and it is fun. Plush I i get tired writing a text message
I am in love with that actor ♡
Loved the way you present your idea... it is not what you say it is how do you say it.... good job keep it up 👍🏻
Hahaha amazing video! I loved it. :)
Ok! but what a girl gotta do to get a personal voice memo from Matthew everyday 😂 😜
That was a brilliant video and so informative as usual. Jesse Pepe is a talented guy.xx
Or FaceTime and Skype lol. I’m proud to say I’ve graduated to that point. I’m very much more of a texter.
Please make more videos on long distance relationships!!
You are absolutely right ! Never thought of it but I will try it 😜🙌
I love this guy man! Lots of love from India 😊
Thank you I needed this. I hope it works out.
Perfect timing-
Wow thank you!
My crush just lost interest in me. After he’d shown interest for weeks. He started out always looking over at me, then he finally said hi. He texted me first and we texted for a day and then.... he hasn’t texted me since 🤦🏼♀️. I was so fun and cute I THOUGHT. Haha
I HATE when I let my guard down and let guys in and then they ghost me. Guys always flirt with me and stare at me and show interest on a surface level but as soon as I show interest too ( and not in any kind of desperate or agressive way) they lose interest in me. Makes me feel like I’m just not worth falling in love with. :(
Believe that you are worth it. That there is someone for you who love you for you, who wants to get to know you and who wants to be with you genuinely. Don't lose hope. Until the person comes, take care of yourself and enjoy life.
Allow those guys. Youll find someone who will want to get to know you for you
I'm going to use this 😉
WhatsApp my helper, he can help you too
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@#/@//@/@/#
(+234)7057337494
➡↗↗💖😍😍💗💖
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The best Video I have come across today & guess what ....
It made my day😊😊😘
Love the video 🔥👍🏽✊🏽
hi matthew! please make a video on how to handle my man's insecurity. he keeps on underestimating himself, saying bad things about himself, so afraid i will leave him for things he cant do, etc. we always ended up fighting bcs of it. please lemme know how to :(
Something like this only happens to two people who genuinely linked online and actually intend to be together....
Hell no 😂
You don't know anything until you've met them in real life
I've been on dates where I thought meh this person isn't really for me but let me see. Then in the date they turned out to be amazing. Better looking. More fun. Really playful. And I was glad to have gone even though I thought only 50/50 I'd get on with this person going off offline conversations
Likewise I've been on dates and though before hand this person seems lovely! Only when on the date in the first 2 minutes I knew no way I'd like to see them again
Use online dating to arrange dates
It's not online relationships, it's a tool to set up dates. Think of it like speed dating. Most the women you won't like a small percentage you will like and you don't know for sure until you go on a date
@@kaya051285 hmm i see your point...
@@drewpixels I imagine you're probably quite young. People might be honest upfront and genuine but that doesn't mean it will be a long lasting relationship. 99% of people who get married are honest and genuine but half break up. Dating is even more failure rate than this probably 90% of people who are boyfriend/girlfriend break up at some point in the future.
It's just not easy sharing things with other humans. Men or women. I'm a guy and even my best friend I would probably grate with him if I saw him almost every single day.
As a guess only about 5% of people are comparable long term. Read up the concept of love languages. And pray the person you fall for has the same love language as you 😺
SO TRUE
My guy sends me voice notes but I don’t, I just text back or call him or offer to FaceTime.
I don’t like sending voice messages, cause I get self conscious about my voice :/
Oh my gosh same here 😣 I really don't like the sound of my voice, and I'm scared it might be a turn off for him.. On top of that, English isn't my first language so I get even more self-conscious and insecure about how I sound..
You keep making videos on my exact situation lol thank you!
I love all your content, you inspire me alot
This a great “platform upgrade”. But what if you then get stuck with just exchanging voice notes? I used one of the MH scripts in a voice note pretty much saying to “give me a call”…instead I got a voice note back. So a bit stumped where to go from there as I don’t want to get stuck in another never ending cycle of voice notes. I’m tired of being “proactive and light hearted”…it’s frustrating and exhausting after a while. P.S. this is not long distance.
Matthew, can you give tips on dating Asian men?
Oh gosh i didn't know how many videos i've watched an hour ago hahahaha anyway your advice it helps me a loooot 😊
I dont do voice message because i just use discord to talk to my boyfriend. And we play video games so that is fun.
I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT !!! :D MERCI MATTHEW !!!!!! :D :D
I met someone online during lockdown that I enjoy talking to but he lives on the other side of the world. He loves my country and I’m supposed to move to his country for uni soon so I’m pretty sure we would be able to meet up once lockdown is over but I don’t know if we’ll keep talking for that long. I hope we can but obviously it’s different when you’ve never met in person. We’ve been sending each other voice messages back and forth and calling. Anyone had similar experiences?
what a great video!
Wonderful silent film!!!! ;)))
Awesome info. Also does the link to the guide work for everyone? It doesn't seem to be working for me
Want to just mention, because no one else did, at 2:35 she is lip syncing perfectly.
Ok, so I'm a 17 year old guy, and whenever I'm talking to a girl, they always want to facetime (houseparty etc), which is great because I want to hear her voice and see her, but there seems to be something about that type of interaction that guys don't like (myself included), we send voice notes and snaps and that's great. But I feel the male logic is that we prefer to see the person in real life. What are your thoughts on this, and how can guys get around this situation?
If it's a new person you've never met before there is little to gain from being pen pals. And text or calls or voice messages or even video messaging is just the modern version of a pen pal
I'd suggest not looking for anyone new just now instead do things you like or just concentrate on work or school
Or of course if you are not under lockdown eg in Sweden then just set up a date and hang out
Most people you just won't want to date so it's a waste of time. I've been on lots of dates where the person was lovely and some even amazingly positive and great but if you don't have that attraction for them it's over. Save yourself the time and energy if you are looking for a girlfriend you gotta meet and go on a date
@@kaya051285 Hey! Thanks for your response. I live in England where there is a lockdown for probably the next month. I've met this girl and we both have alot of physical attraction and have connected through our hobbies and passions. We both want to meet in real life, and neither of us tend to talk to girl/boys, and I can see this turning into a relationship, we are both looking for a relationship. With the facetime (houseparty), it's more of a situation whereby as a guy, I prefer to send voice notes and snaps (videos of face and voice), as I can also do something else at the same time and be more productive (e.g. be in the gym or outside in my garden doing sports). Therefore, I find it easier to communicate in that way rather than through a facetime. We have decided to meet after lockdown and see how we work in real life. What are your thoughts now?
@@Flowstate777rl You just can't tell over text or phone you might think they are great but in real life you just don't like their energy. You will know after you meet if you'd both like to continue or not. Don't be sad if it's a no. Likewise she shouldn't be sad if it's a no from you. It just takes time to find someone you like and they like you
Also you're still so young don't stress about dating or relationships they will happen when you are ready. Whoever you get with be respectful and tell the truth that's more or less what anyone can and should do
You could go thru all this text/talk and then meet them and not like their smell.
@@tracik1277 haha I think you're joking but it's true Smell & dental hygiene is very important and you can't tell over text or call. A significant minority of women (maybe 20%) don't even brush their teeth regularly!!! It might be the same for men I don't know. No matter how pretty someone looks in photos or even how pretty they are in real life, if they are the type who don't even brush their teeth forget it!! And you can't tell that over a phone call. I've also had one stinky lady age 25 turn up for a date 😂 she was otherwise a 9/10 attractive but Jesus Christ she fell to a 1/10 when I realised the smell in the bar wasn't the smell in the bar but was her!! No thanks!
Oh and nasty kisses
Most are nice and fine
But some just have a horrible taste
Again I assume it's people who don't brush their teeth properly twice a day 😅
A not nice kiss is, thank you but goodbye!!
As someone who has a sweet voice, I should have sent voice note long time ago.
Thanks for the video..
Distance can be hard
So original! Ili
Cool
shhhhhh don't give away my secrets .......... I am a big voice note person and I kill it on the apps...... shhhhhhhhh Matt
Does anyone know if Matt ever answers questions like for free?
Jeez I am so glad I am old and past it and did all my relating in actual 3D reality in person in the flesh. Holy crap I would never survive this kind of relating so weird and unreal. In years to come all babies will be conceived by mail in a test tube.
@mathewhussey I’m in a LDR but he said he feels connected with me and he literally like me allot but he still hasn’t exchanged contact details and we are still chatting on the dating app? I want to understand is this normal. Cause I believe if he thinks I’m the one we should be able to FaceTime each other 😌please advise
"Oh, darn"😂
Hi Matt, I met someone on IG, we are messaging on hangout chat, but can't call because my phone doesn't work, and his military doesn't allow him to have WhatsApp or Skype. Please help.
Marie Libby Ryan you can still send voice messages on IG
Matthew, how do you keep it going with someone loooong distance that it 'ended' before lockdown but something seems to have stricken up? We seem to have slipped back into how it was before.....? ....I think ....?
Don't go digging in the trash once you take it out. It's tempting....but don't be an Opossum
It almost never works with someone after either party has dumped the other. It's about a 1% success it's just not worth it
If you really want to I'd only day it's worthwhile just casually so date others at the same time because in three months time when it goes boobs up you wouldn't have wasted three months
@@kaya051285 he lives in another country ... said he didn't see a future due to how things were ... but now we 'talk' everydau ... the same way we did before... you'd think that there are others that he could play with that live closer... esp on lockdown ... I don't think he's short of options... at the same time apprently once things open back up for travel, hes hoping I'll come out .. he still wants to come and visit me and well, if we can travel together to different places... ? Apprently it's always good to travel with someone you enjoy.... How much of an idiot do I feel now ... should have known better. 😔
@@AnnieMac-qr2yr Why would you even want to give yourself and your energy to a guy in another country? Don't waste your time with anyone more than 1h drive from where you live or work
There are LOTs of guys in your city/town you might feel it's difficult to find them but it just takes some time. Once the lockdown is over just jump on tinder and find 20 guys to date. About 5 of them you will really like the others you won't. The ones you don't like it's just a half hour coffee or cake or drink. The ones you do like you can filter for which one you like the most
People lose all their intelligence when it comes to dating. When you were at school did you fancy every single guy? Hell no. When I was at school did I fancy every single girl? Hell no. Everyone likes only about 10% of the opposite sex so you got to meet 10-20-30 people to find someone good for you. This isn't scary it's fun
Let this dude go
Even if he spent 5h each day talking on the phone he is in another country it ain't gona work
@@AnnieMac-qr2yr Plus why you worry about him and his options. Worry about you and increase your own options. Whoever he is with best of luck to him. Time to find you someone great and someone within 1h drive of where you live/work not someone an ocean away that's ridiculous it's not fair on either of you
@@kaya051285 I don't think all things that are across the ocean don't work out, it boils down to if you are on the same page and working towards something together. He knew I would consider being the one to move if it worked out .... I guess I got my answer ...
Feel heartache all over again, it's only been a couple of weeks we've been engaging with each other .... about 3 months since it ended ... dont understand why you'd come back to someone you dont see a future with .. esp when you don't have the option of going out after lockdown.. makes no sense to me ...
A voice.. on the telephone 🤣
What happened to the worst mistakes you could be making in your love life video? Clicked and it's gone😭🥺
So what happens if you or him have an Android???
Eureka
A voice... on the telephone... LMAO!
I've been in a situationship for almost 2yrs and still he always says he lyks me ..he luvs me...but he still don't level up to relationship 🙄🙄🙄...now were unconnected...I lost my interest I guess ???
I love sending voice notes, and suddenly everything makes sense 😮
It’s a good idea 😂 I need ideas to flirt on voice texts tho
This is perfect timing
Omg I always do this if it’s an option and most guys live it but I do get the guys who hate the audio option and ask I don’t do that. I’m like what you hiding that wants you not me to do that
Hi,I recommend you to someone who brought back my Ex-Wife after many years of loneliness and separation.Send him a message @WhatsApp (+234)9137313732 And he will puts a smile on your face.
Oh my gosh Voice notes make ALL the difference!
Since this isolation me and this girl I've been seeing recently have started voice noting instead of texting.
Amazing because now we get an exchange of our energies and tone which is actually a real turn on..
I'm advocating for more voice notes than text messages 🔥🔥
Thanks Matthew for being an inspiration for me and my Channel.
Simple. Genius. 😉
I've been doing the same with a guy I've been seeing as well except we do video chats. It just adds even a whole other level above 😀
@@RebBar Doesn't it just!
Not sure if I can go back to ONLY texting after this is all over 😂
0:45 she isn't being "made invisible", she beeing "ghosted" 😂😂
Hahaha tough truth 😂
A voice coming out of the telephone is the single most unused feature of my phone.
Smartphones are basically a mini computer, rather than a phone, these days
Makes me appreciate someone more now. He apologizes to me everytime in voice notes. Felt more his sincerity there. Thank you Matthew. Im scared but will try it too 😅
He apologizes to you?! Just broke up with my boyfriend because he NEVER apologizes. Or rather, he broke up with me.
Leave voice notes!! They are so fun! I do them all the time. Try with your friends first! Your boyfriend will love it. 😊
3:05 a voice on the telephone :-D
I was just thinking that, that voice messages were going back to using a phone to...well, talk, imagine that, lol
long distance relationships are difficult, but they can also be incredible. When you learn to respect, trust and love someone from a distance. You will be absolutely unstoppable when you are together
“...🤔 a .. voice ! .. on the .. telephone?! 🧐😯😍”
You can tell so much about someone by their voice, both good and bad. Even writing long emails is better than texting especially if you write well. In the old days people wrote love letters, a lost art
I am dying to write a detailed love letter…. But I’m scared of how it would be received. I’m not afraid to say the things I want to, I’m afraid that he’ll feel pressured by it. And asking him won’t do any good.
@@CrownedMeadow You'll come across as desperate. Go on a few dates. Otherwise it's just a romantic fantasy and a waste of time