I've been trauma bonded and it took years to become myself again. I became so confused, my reality and confidence broke down. I was too young to understand and see the red flags. I appreciate the information you share, it's nice to have the words for what happened. There are so many snakes in the world, it's not even funny.
I hear you I was married for 24 years with a man for 31 and we’ve been divorced now for three years and I still feel I’m trauma bonded so it does take time hang in there God loves you God bless
@@Narrowpath0325 yes I hear you. I've been doing crochet classes to keep me busy. It's great therapy and you get to make beautiful stuff. I make blankets. Concentrate on you and know you are loved and that you are special.
I was trained by a narc mother and then had a 30 yrs marriage with all the signs you mention. It was terrible. I was a mess and physically ill because of it. Two years ago I had an awakening and it all became clear. I am a work in progress now and learning to love myself.
Thank You..You just described the relationship I had with my sister, I bent over backwards to please her..I was always afraid she might tell lies on me as she often did..I could write a book about her, she was a nasty person..I finally broke free of her and I have peace today.
You have described to a tee my situation. I’m almost scared to put my name to this comment in case she finds out and finds a way to ‘punish’ me like she has on numerous occasions throughout my life. Her image to everyone else is all sweetness and light. I know who she really is though so in her eyes I must be destroyed and devalued before I can do any damage to her image.
@@elizabethsteer6883 Do not be scared or live in fear..believe me as time passes they become insignificant to you, my only regret is that I didn’t do it years ago, I could have saved myself many months of fear and constant anxiety..never give in to her or even think that she has changed with time..that never happens they actually get worse..I wish you well..many blessings.
@@taraann7753 oh I agree that they get worse with age. I’m left reeling by how callous and cruel your own family member can be, and all with the support of other family members, because they choose not to see that side of them. They choose to buy into the ‘kind caring’ image that the abuser is anxious to project. Why others are so in thrall to such a scheming person I can’t fathom. Maybe because I was the one who received the brunt of her abuse and they’re just thankful it isn’t them, I don’t know. But I do know I’m finally done with it after decades of it.
A lot of the signs of trauma bonding are similar to Stockholm Syndrome, where the abused person feels sympathy for the abuser. This happened to me with my mother. I do feel a bit despairing that it took me so long to break free as I'm now 64. Thank you Darren.
I am 69 and only 2 yrs ago began to understand all of this, at the hands of narcissistic mother, husband and siblings. So I say, better late than never. My emancipation began with a youtube video called Daughter Of A Narcissistic Mother. An eye opener.
Yes, I was trauma bonded to my husband. It started at 3 months of our relationship and escalated until I left after 2 years. I suffered with the trauma bond for 9 months after I left, it was mentally and emotionally excruciating. It's been almost 2 years now since I left and although I am better I'm still not totally myself. Thank you, this is a very good video.
I was abused in my youth causing trauma bonding and DID. My grandma mentally abused me. She brainwashed me to be afraid of everything but her. She told me innocent things are evil and I will burn in hell if I sin. She beat me because I didn't speak like she wanted. She put me in a dark closet for days without food and water and I was given a bucket for bathroom. If made a noise she would first scare me to be quiet then beat me with a belt if she heard me again. I had chronic UTI because of the abuse. I still deal with the health problems from it. My mom got custody of my brother and I after five years of being with our grandparents. My dad had custody but he was homeless and an addict. He dropped us off with his parents instead of caring for us. For six years after my mom saved me I thought my grandma was my mother and my mom was the devil. My poor mom had to build a relationship with me. My teachers helped me too. They got mental health services for both my mom and I. I developed DID because I was so badly abused, I developed 5 alters they were protectors. I am 41 years old and I haven't had symptoms of my DID since 2015. Mental health and my mom helped me recover. I will always have DID but I have developed coping skills so I don't have a need to be protected anymore. I still am able to talk with my alters through lucid dreams. I have a forum that we hangout in together in my mind. I keep in contact with them once in awhile to keep them comfortable so I don't have a switch. I learned how to communicate with my alters through deep cognitive therapy with mental health. Meditation helps me. 👍
In the realm of relationships between narcissist fathers and mothers toward sons and daughters, it is often an impossible situation, where the child cannot make the break due to multiple layers of natural and constructed dependence. Sadly a bonded young child in this circumstance learns to view their whole world through the lens of a deleterious family dynamic. An adult-child struggles to make sense out of the world when it comes time to make the launch into adulthood. The 'surviving' of a Narci Family upbringing can easily open one to attracting an Altruistic Narcissist PARTNER to replace the parental experience... because that dynamic 'feels normal'.
O my there are lots of comments here confirming my suspicion that my boyfriend is like my abusive mother....it took me years to deal with her effects on my life.....only recently she used my brother and sister to cut me out of her will and cause a rift she created 😥😥😥
Wow. Just wow. I didn't even know what it was called, but this is it. You have described my relationship to a T. I clicked on this video out of curiosity and I am stunned! Thank you.
Wow I never realised how deep that actually went but 4 years I had to go through that signs without knowing what the narcissist what actually doing 😳 he blamed everything on Me! I'm 10 months no contact and I'm building my strength and healing 💪 🙏 he played the game! I'm learning the signs and know so much about NPD now and will never ever put myself in that position ever again 💯
I was trauma bonded to my narc mother. It was really hard to break free because that was I ever knew. There was no before to compare it to. I think I may have been trauma bonded with 1 or 2 of my sisters. But it wasn't as intense when I became an adult. I cut all ties with my immediate family and I'm happy. Still healing from traumas but I'm glad there are resources out there. Glad videos like this exist. it helps validate and understand the chaos.
This was my relationship with my dad who sexually abused me as a kid… My mom was emotionally, verbally and physically abusive as far as hitting And somehow I thought he was the lesser of the 2 evils but both my parents were HORRIBLE 😢 BUT as a kid.. what choice do we have ? And sadly I have chosen partners that are like either of my parents or both My mom died 9 years ago and idk I grieved.. but I collected the crumbs of affection and I barricaded a fictional story about her… My dad just passed away a couple of months ago … & I am now being OVERWHELMED with flashbacks of the disgusting things he did to me at 7-10 years old Molesting me I spent my whole life living with shame and trying to win them over and tell everyone how wonderful they were I have 2 younger brothers .. who don’t know what happened and I have done all I can to protect them from the truth so their memories of our parents aren’t ruined for them too It’s awful 😞 I’m in the process of looking for a Therapist to finally get help and hoping to get someone who will give me tools to navigate the rest of my life.. 😞
Darren, would you consider discussing the effects of daycare centers on infants and toddlers? The nurturing and social interaction that an infant needs one on one to develop healthy attachment and trust to their parents is vital. Anxiety has also been shown to a link of infants being denied their healthy attachment to loving parents and consistency. Even a sitter who gives one on one care is still better than a day center where a baby is just one of other babies and not getting human bonding, being held regularly, seeing a warm, facial expression regularly everyday. Daycares are all too often putting babies in front of TV in their car seats. Tv screen time at such an early age is dangerous overstimulation to the delicate, forming brain.
Children wouldn’t really be my normal area of experience so it might take a bit more research than usual but I will look into it and put do something together
Thank you Darren. I have worked in pediatrics and OB/GYN for the past 26 years. I am seeing a definite trend in development delay, social interaction delay, lack of empathy and anxiety in very early ages. Most of these children’s parents when questioned say they allowed their babies to watch TV, gave them video games or iPads as toddlers, and were also at daycare centers. So totally different from children we have seen whose mothers stayed home or one in one caregiver, that did not use television or electronics before 5 years old. Such a huge difference in these children.
This talk is so insightful. my fear of offending her or losing her kept me hooked to an abusive narcissist for years. Simply because I couldn’t imagine losing what had been the most enchanting love of my life...until I had a breakdown. she had spurned my many attempts to discuss the relationship by ourselves or with a counsellor. I had to walk away even though I was still in love with my abusive partner. It’s been hard,
Tengo una historia horrorosa de vínculos traumáticos. Estoy en terapia porque en mi infancia mis padres fueron abusivos en múltiples sentidos. Sé ahora que esto te predispone para encontrar otras personas que abusan de ti y como para ti es familiar, te vinculas y siempre perdonas y das segundas oportunidades.Ahora estoy cambiando la situación. A pesar del bombardeo de amor, localizo enseguida a la persona abusiva. Son egoístas, faltas de empatía, dominantonas, soberbias y sufren ataques de ira. Además te descalifican e invalidan a la mínima oportunidad. sé que atraigo a este tipo de personas, pero ahora también sé que puedo alejarme y no dar pie a ningún tipo de relación.
I haven't sufficient words to express my relief to suddenly find out about Narcissism and the damage it does to others. My history is beginning to make a very weird sense.
To love a narcissistic partner is the worst thing anybody could go through in a relationship, the narcissist will just take that love and turn it into a dagger with which to stab you with on a daily basis.
I think this video is very true. trauma bounding is developed in extreme scarcity. people trapped in those relationship are very difficult to free themselves from these codependency interactions as I noticed
trauma bonded comes from a tragic situation. I have been doing crocheting and have to trust the process to make a crochet square. it's helped. it's hard to trust the process.
Subscribed instantly . This video is incredibly insightful and puts into words the thoughts of so many who have someone close to them living like this . How do I get them to listen to this ? I feel hearing it from someone other than family might give more validation and Darren would be that ideal person who is calm and assured and very , very knowledgable . Wonderful videos , thank you so much Mr Magee .
When you do something that your sure will make them happy and when you get home, your just met with more complaints and put downs, the little gesture you did is just ignored. Some people literally just want to hurt others are even happy to admit it. My so called ex was terrible and I've even wondered if it was me. This video brought back some memories, I feel a bit relieved now . At one point he'd beg me to spend more time with him then after having his baby he walked out the door and never called. 3 years ago and some still managed to get everyone to worry about him during the pandemic and not once been in touch to ask how his son is. Though all in all I think my son is better off without a risk taking narcissist father an a miserable mother. It was difficult to over come but we've smashed it regardless and my son is amazing and to sweet and innocent for a man like that.
Instantly subbed with the first video of yours I've seen. Thank you for putting to words and validating what's happening. Also your voice is very soothing!
I'm involved in some sort of abusive romantic relationship I am finding it difficult to get out of....I am very glad u mentioned munch hausen syndrome....as this guy(I'm a girl) reminds me of my mum who was very abusive in a way like munch hausen syndrome ... esp with my sister who she did everything for, made her feel she could not live without mum and totally controlled and isolated her...now my mum enjoyed and promoted rows with my sister and me and my brother where my sister lost her only two siblings. Now my sister did do stuff to me and my brother but my mum was behind it pulling the strings.. to this day it's a tricky one....mum was not abused by our dad.....yet my sister is currently in a relationship with her husband where she is very ill and tho she was snotty to him in the beginning(mum promoted this type of getting her own way/being spoiled in my sister but under it my sister is nice, shy and vulnerable) he has learnt to subtly destroy her in revenge.....well my boyfriend reminds me of mum....he tried to do everything for me....to make me feel I needed him.....I'm not sure this video title totally describes my relationship but it has elements in it that are resonating somehow with me.....I've always been very confident and am very well educated but I have attracted types like my mum and my boyfriend SO many times now in life....😥😥
Hi Darrin........been searching ur videos for the narcissistic grown son. Have u made a video addressing that nightmare??? Thanks, I just found u and I'm learning so much from them. 👍
If I’m not mistaken that’s the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) in the background, since I’m feeling envious I’d better go check out your video on dealing with envy.☹️
good vid, .... bout 20yrs ago i was in a domestic violence relationship .... [children as well] .... i really wanted my marriage to 'work' so i tried it all.... but it is a losing battle and ultimately it was my children that paid the highest price. that is just a drop in the bucket for me, my whole family are dysfunctional and bullies... and they know it.. . but wont even try to get help or even an understanding of 'why' they have these callous traits. ..... thank you for listening and for making these vids... cheers
As always great video I love your Contin dude it was your what are the signs of a narcissistic wife video that really open my eyes to what I was going through that in the work of HG TUDOR another god of all knowledge narcissism
Would you consider addressing trauma bonds between siblings who have been abused either in their families prior to being removed from their homes of origin or in orphanages?
At the discard stage mine listed everything she had done for me, like the whole thing was transactional. Also blamed me for everything. The power base was always hers and she made most of the decisions or manipulated me into doing things her way. I just flipped the script and said well you've called all the shots for the past 10 years and your blaming me? You were the driver, you had control so perhaps you should take the responsibility for the outcome. They cause the car crash and then blame the passenger.
Wow……. I have a workshop I will be attending later this month about this subject. I submitted a question in advance asking if it is possible to be trauma bonded to adult children. You are the first one who has stated this is possible. Listening to this was hard. Is it possible to have been trauma bonded to an ex partner and our children? If so, does this happen because the adult children have adopted the behaviors they learned from their father? Again, thank You!
Hiding your happiness, sadness, guilt and embarrassment is no way to live. It will make you very sick. There’s 8 billion people on this planet, it’s not hard to find a couple of good friends. We are only here once!! For a short time!! Don’t waste your life, or even another day with people that enjoy watching you suffer. This is not a dress rehearsal. Hurry up and start living.
So...what do I do if I have ALL of the signs? Fear is just fear, and for me, it is for every reason. I've been married for 27 years and my Narcissistic husband sought revenge because he felt "I" caused him to get fired from his job ( a job I moved almost 1500 miles away from my family and kids to support his career aspirations for) and when we moved back home, he decided I needed to be cheated on to hurt me because HE was hurting so much. Directly targeted me for assassination, basically. I am still with him, 8 months later, and I don't know why or what TF to do. Did I mention he tried to strangle me to death when I picked up his phone and saw the cheating texts with his AP? So yeah, I'm afraid. Afraid to stay, afraid to go. This kind of explains things, but tell me what to do Darren! please...
You are in danger either way. Quietly escape and block him on everything, change your phone, and go no contact? When you get away and you start to realise the depths of hell you were in with even more clarity, then time away from him brings peace eventually, even if you are on guard and watchful about him finding you.
If he’s already tried to strangle you, you are not only in emotional danger but now physical danger too. Don’t discuss this with him, arrange with a trusted family member to go to their house, pack a bag and leave. Don’t talk to him alone or without someone you trust and cut any form of contact. You can email to arrange any formalities but do not speak to them aside from this. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation but you need to be brave for yourself now because you deserve to feel safe. X
Please let us pray for victims of trauma bonding to be healed. And let us pray for the victimizers as they may be suffering from their own kind of mental illness.
Could you do a few episodes on different types of healthy individuals. Because I feel like everyone iv ever met including me could fall under your different definitions of narcissistic qualities. And can you do one on what problems people have that are phycologist or go into those kinds of fields. IV only seen them in there public life. But they all seem to show the same traits as for the ones iv seen. Kind of like they think they have everything together but looking from the outside towards them they look so fragile. Is this a field of work certain damaged people go into. Or is there behaviors and tendencies a result from having to listen to so many horrible story's everyday for work.
@@forrestfey Yeah, sure... Lie to yourself as much as you want. Traumabonded submissive person will not use safe word to not make their dom angry or disappointed, and the abusive "partner" will break the rules, then gaslight the traumabonded sub and blame them for being a bad sub. I have seen too many red flags, from "there should not be safe word because it means the sub has control" to "stupid vanillas don´t know what a good sex is" (narcissism at its finest) on literally every BDSM discussion, no matter the country. All the people there are so obviously broken it´s totally tragic. It was a big mistake to normalize deviations. There is no healthy BDSM relationship irl. It can´t be if both people are mentally ill and there´s a huge power imballance from the start.
@@hannahcando6496 It wasn´t supposed to be a joke. BDSM "lifestyle" (why the fu-k is it even a LIFESTYLE???) is a magnet for people who are broken in various ways. It´s basically the extreme version of the narcissistic abusive relationships this channel and other ones talk about.
Greetings: ( USA 🇺🇸) : Enormous Hug 🤗: lots of 💕 love: be very, very, very safe and, in thanksgiving, wishing you a blessed happy wonderful evening and a fabulous day ahead tomorrow
I've been trauma bonded and it took years to become myself again. I became so confused, my reality and confidence broke down. I was too young to understand and see the red flags. I appreciate the information you share, it's nice to have the words for what happened. There are so many snakes in the world, it's not even funny.
I was too young to understant it either.
I too was trauma bonded iam glad your ok.
I hear you I was married for 24 years with a man for 31 and we’ve been divorced now for three years and I still feel I’m trauma bonded so it does take time hang in there God loves you God bless
@@Narrowpath0325 yes I hear you. I've been doing crochet classes to keep me busy. It's great therapy and you get to make beautiful stuff. I make blankets. Concentrate on you and know you are loved and that you are special.
I was trained by a narc mother and then had a 30 yrs marriage with all the signs you mention. It was terrible. I was a mess and physically ill because of it. Two years ago I had an awakening and it all became clear. I am a work in progress now and learning to love myself.
This is why I need to save my daughter. Thnx for sharing
I'm on the same path at a different location, I wish you the best.
God Bless you keep growing and knowing !!!
Thank You..You just described the relationship I had with my sister, I bent over backwards to please her..I was always afraid she might tell lies on me as she often did..I could write a book about her, she was a nasty person..I finally broke free of her and I have peace today.
Amen to that. My older brother for me. Tried to bring me down.
You have described to a tee my situation. I’m almost scared to put my name to this comment in case she finds out and finds a way to ‘punish’ me like she has on numerous occasions throughout my life. Her image to everyone else is all sweetness and light. I know who she really is though so in her eyes I must be destroyed and devalued before I can do any damage to her image.
@@elizabethsteer6883 Do not be scared or live in fear..believe me as time passes they become insignificant to you, my only regret is that I didn’t do it years ago, I could have saved myself many months of fear and constant anxiety..never give in to her or even think that she has changed with time..that never happens they actually get worse..I wish you well..many blessings.
@@taraann7753 oh I agree that they get worse with age. I’m left reeling by how callous and cruel your own family member can be, and all with the support of other family members, because they choose not to see that side of them. They choose to buy into the ‘kind caring’ image that the abuser is anxious to project. Why others are so in thrall to such a scheming person I can’t fathom. Maybe because I was the one who received the brunt of her abuse and they’re just thankful it isn’t them, I don’t know. But I do know I’m finally done with it after decades of it.
A lot of the signs of trauma bonding are similar to Stockholm Syndrome, where the abused person feels sympathy for the abuser. This happened to me with my mother. I do feel a bit despairing that it took me so long to break free as I'm now 64. Thank you Darren.
I am 69 and only 2 yrs ago began to understand all of this, at the hands of narcissistic mother, husband and siblings. So I say, better late than never. My emancipation began with a youtube video called Daughter Of A Narcissistic Mother. An eye opener.
Absolutely
@@jenniferjacobs228 Thanks Jennifer. We would have started healing earlier if we'd known about narcissistic people before, but there was no info
Yes, I was trauma bonded to my husband. It started at 3 months of our relationship and escalated until I left after 2 years. I suffered with the trauma bond for 9 months after I left, it was mentally and emotionally excruciating. It's been almost 2 years now since I left and although I am better I'm still not totally myself. Thank you, this is a very good video.
I was abused in my youth causing trauma bonding and DID. My grandma mentally abused me. She brainwashed me to be afraid of everything but her. She told me innocent things are evil and I will burn in hell if I sin. She beat me because I didn't speak like she wanted. She put me in a dark closet for days without food and water and I was given a bucket for bathroom. If made a noise she would first scare me to be quiet then beat me with a belt if she heard me again. I had chronic UTI because of the abuse. I still deal with the health problems from it. My mom got custody of my brother and I after five years of being with our grandparents. My dad had custody but he was homeless and an addict. He dropped us off with his parents instead of caring for us. For six years after my mom saved me I thought my grandma was my mother and my mom was the devil. My poor mom had to build a relationship with me. My teachers helped me too. They got mental health services for both my mom and I. I developed DID because I was so badly abused, I developed 5 alters they were protectors. I am 41 years old and I haven't had symptoms of my DID since 2015. Mental health and my mom helped me recover. I will always have DID but I have developed coping skills so I don't have a need to be protected anymore. I still am able to talk with my alters through lucid dreams. I have a forum that we hangout in together in my mind. I keep in contact with them once in awhile to keep them comfortable so I don't have a switch. I learned how to communicate with my alters through deep cognitive therapy with mental health. Meditation helps me. 👍
That’s so horrible. I’m so sorry
In the realm of relationships between narcissist fathers and mothers toward sons and daughters, it is often an impossible situation, where the child cannot make the break due to multiple layers of natural and constructed dependence. Sadly a bonded young child in this circumstance learns to view their whole world through the lens of a deleterious family dynamic. An adult-child struggles to make sense out of the world when it comes time to make the launch into adulthood. The 'surviving' of a Narci Family upbringing can easily open one to attracting an Altruistic Narcissist PARTNER to replace the parental experience... because that dynamic 'feels normal'.
O my there are lots of comments here confirming my suspicion that my boyfriend is like my abusive mother....it took me years to deal with her effects on my life.....only recently she used my brother and sister to cut me out of her will and cause a rift she created 😥😥😥
Wow. Just wow. I didn't even know what it was called, but this is it. You have described my relationship to a T. I clicked on this video out of curiosity and I am stunned! Thank you.
Wow I never realised how deep that actually went but 4 years I had to go through that signs without knowing what the narcissist what actually doing 😳 he blamed everything on Me! I'm 10 months no contact and I'm building my strength and healing 💪 🙏 he played the game! I'm learning the signs and know so much about NPD now and will never ever put myself in that position ever again 💯
I was trauma bonded to my narc mother. It was really hard to break free because that was I ever knew. There was no before to compare it to. I think I may have been trauma bonded with 1 or 2 of my sisters. But it wasn't as intense when I became an adult. I cut all ties with my immediate family and I'm happy. Still healing from traumas but I'm glad there are resources out there. Glad videos like this exist. it helps validate and understand the chaos.
This was my relationship with my dad who sexually abused me as a kid…
My mom was emotionally, verbally and physically abusive as far as hitting
And somehow I thought he was the lesser of the 2 evils but both my parents were HORRIBLE 😢
BUT as a kid.. what choice do we have ?
And sadly I have chosen partners that are like either of my parents or both
My mom died 9 years ago and idk I grieved.. but I collected the crumbs of affection and I barricaded a fictional story about her…
My dad just passed away a couple of months ago … & I am now being OVERWHELMED with flashbacks of the disgusting things he did to me at 7-10 years old
Molesting me
I spent my whole life living with shame and trying to win them over and tell everyone how wonderful they were
I have 2 younger brothers .. who don’t know what happened and I have done all I can to protect them from the truth so their memories of our parents aren’t ruined for them too
It’s awful 😞 I’m in the process of looking for a Therapist to finally get help and hoping to get someone who will give me tools to navigate the rest of my life..
😞
Yep that is exactly what happens. Make it stop before you are old. You will feel so free.
what if you are already old......? that is the tragedy.....
@@bellafantousi6480 I'm 64 and only recently got free from trauma bonds. It's never too late. Sending love to you 💗
@@Crystalquartz964 Thank you so much for the encouragement....
@@bellafantousi6480 63 it's been horrible
Darren, would you consider discussing the effects of daycare centers on infants and toddlers? The nurturing and social interaction that an infant needs one on one to develop healthy attachment and trust to their parents is vital. Anxiety has also been shown to a link of infants being denied their healthy attachment to loving parents and consistency. Even a sitter who gives one on one care is still better than a day center where a baby is just one of other babies and not getting human bonding, being held regularly, seeing a warm, facial expression regularly everyday. Daycares are all too often putting babies in front of TV in their car seats. Tv screen time at such an early age is dangerous overstimulation to the delicate, forming brain.
Children wouldn’t really be my normal area of experience so it might take a bit more research than usual but I will look into it and put do something together
Thank you Darren. I have worked in pediatrics and OB/GYN for the past 26 years. I am seeing a definite trend in development delay, social interaction delay, lack of empathy and anxiety in very early ages. Most of these children’s parents when questioned say they allowed their babies to watch TV, gave them video games or iPads as toddlers, and were also at daycare centers. So totally different from children we have seen whose mothers stayed home or one in one caregiver, that did not use television or electronics before 5 years old. Such a huge difference in these children.
Thank you for a great description of trauma bonding. Spot on.
This talk is so insightful. my fear of offending her or losing her kept me hooked to an abusive narcissist for years. Simply because I couldn’t imagine losing what had been the most enchanting love of my life...until I had a breakdown. she had spurned my many attempts to discuss the relationship by ourselves or with a counsellor. I had to walk away even though I was still in love with my abusive partner. It’s been hard,
Tengo una historia horrorosa de vínculos traumáticos. Estoy en terapia porque en mi infancia mis padres fueron abusivos en múltiples sentidos. Sé ahora que esto te predispone para encontrar otras personas que abusan de ti y como para ti es familiar, te vinculas y siempre perdonas y das segundas oportunidades.Ahora estoy cambiando la situación. A pesar del bombardeo de amor, localizo enseguida a la persona abusiva. Son egoístas, faltas de empatía, dominantonas, soberbias y sufren ataques de ira. Además te descalifican e invalidan a la mínima oportunidad. sé que atraigo a este tipo de personas, pero ahora también sé que puedo alejarme y no dar pie a ningún tipo de relación.
Perfectly stated Cristina. I don't speak Spanish but the google translation of your comment was eloquent and concise.
Estoy en lo mismo camino. ¡Que alegría. Que alivio! Todavía tengo trabajo pero cada paso estaré más cerca de volver a mi. Abrazos.
I haven't sufficient words to express my relief to suddenly find out about Narcissism and the damage it does to others. My history is beginning to make a very weird sense.
I've been trauma bonded and just now starting to snap out of it
To love a narcissistic partner is the worst thing anybody could go through in a relationship, the narcissist will just take that love and turn it into a dagger with which to stab you with on a daily basis.
I think this video is very true. trauma bounding is developed in extreme scarcity. people trapped in those relationship are very difficult to free themselves from these codependency interactions as I noticed
I'm trauma bonded from three romantic relationships and 1 because of my mom.
Interesting and informative, looking forward to the next installment.
Thank you, this description of trauma bonding is the clearest to me that I've heard to date. I'm looking forward to the next videos.
Oh my gosh I wish I had a transcript of this video this is absolutely perfect
Brilliantly explained..🎊
In a future video, can you discuss Religious Trauma and it's signs as well?
Thanks for the videos! They have helped alot. ❤
A lot of children growing up in cults get hurt
Tea on npd has some good stuff on spiritual aspects.
It would have to be a wider topic than simply religion. It's too similar to other groups like political, workplace, etc.
trauma bonded comes from a tragic situation. I have been doing crocheting and have to trust the process to make a crochet square. it's helped. it's hard to trust the process.
Subscribed instantly . This video is incredibly insightful and puts into words the thoughts of so many who have someone close to them living like this . How do I get them to listen to this ? I feel hearing it from someone other than family might give more validation and Darren would be that ideal person who is calm and assured and very , very knowledgable . Wonderful videos , thank you so much Mr Magee .
Thank you Sir,I’am appreciative!
When you do something that your sure will make them happy and when you get home, your just met with more complaints and put downs, the little gesture you did is just ignored. Some people literally just want to hurt others are even happy to admit it. My so called ex was terrible and I've even wondered if it was me. This video brought back some memories, I feel a bit relieved now . At one point he'd beg me to spend more time with him then after having his baby he walked out the door and never called. 3 years ago and some still managed to get everyone to worry about him during the pandemic and not once been in touch to ask how his son is. Though all in all I think my son is better off without a risk taking narcissist father an a miserable mother. It was difficult to over come but we've smashed it regardless and my son is amazing and to sweet and innocent for a man like that.
Instantly subbed with the first video of yours I've seen. Thank you for putting to words and validating what's happening.
Also your voice is very soothing!
I'm involved in some sort of abusive romantic relationship I am finding it difficult to get out of....I am very glad u mentioned munch hausen syndrome....as this guy(I'm a girl) reminds me of my mum who was very abusive in a way like munch hausen syndrome ... esp with my sister who she did everything for, made her feel she could not live without mum and totally controlled and isolated her...now my mum enjoyed and promoted rows with my sister and me and my brother where my sister lost her only two siblings. Now my sister did do stuff to me and my brother but my mum was behind it pulling the strings.. to this day it's a tricky one....mum was not abused by our dad.....yet my sister is currently in a relationship with her husband where she is very ill and tho she was snotty to him in the beginning(mum promoted this type of getting her own way/being spoiled in my sister but under it my sister is nice, shy and vulnerable) he has learnt to subtly destroy her in revenge.....well my boyfriend reminds me of mum....he tried to do everything for me....to make me feel I needed him.....I'm not sure this video title totally describes my relationship but it has elements in it that are resonating somehow with me.....I've always been very confident and am very well educated but I have attracted types like my mum and my boyfriend SO many times now in life....😥😥
Thank you. This is helpful information- appreciate your videos
Could you make a video about elderly narc parents and how they manipulate, control, and guilt you into taking care of them???
Wow! Thank you for sharing your knowledge
Hi Darrin........been searching ur videos for the narcissistic grown son. Have u made a video addressing that nightmare???
Thanks, I just found u and I'm learning so much from them. 👍
Not yet but I will be shortly
@@DarrenFMagee
Oh, thank you..... Ur words and knowledge r so spot on and I'm looking forward to this one coming as well. 👍
Thank you ♥️
Really good thanks 💕
Wow. I may have all of these with the narcissist.
Thank you.
Absolutely stupendous, Thank you Darren, This has helped tremendously, Peace, love, to you and everyone, Thank you universe 👽🌌🛸♾️✨️👁🦄😁💞🥰🐉🌈🧿😃
If I’m not mistaken that’s the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) in the background, since I’m feeling envious I’d better go check out your video on dealing with envy.☹️
good vid, .... bout 20yrs ago i was in a domestic violence relationship .... [children as well] .... i really wanted my marriage to 'work' so i tried it all.... but it is a losing battle and ultimately it was my children that paid the highest price. that is just a drop in the bucket for me, my whole family are dysfunctional and bullies... and they know it.. . but wont even try to get help or even an understanding of 'why' they have these callous traits. ..... thank you for listening and for making these vids... cheers
I just don’t get how she gets to label herself the victim and me the abuser when the truth couldn’t be more opposite.
That’s gaslighting and projection.
If she is abusing you, get help and get out.
Crumbs of love…
Intermittent reinforsment
@@forrestfey Bingo
As always great video I love your Contin dude it was your what are the signs of a narcissistic wife video that really open my eyes to what I was going through that in the work of HG TUDOR another god of all knowledge narcissism
Would you consider addressing trauma bonds between siblings who have been abused either in their families prior to being removed from their homes of origin or in orphanages?
At the discard stage mine listed everything she had done for me, like the whole thing was transactional. Also blamed me for everything. The power base was always hers and she made most of the decisions or manipulated me into doing things her way. I just flipped the script and said well you've called all the shots for the past 10 years and your blaming me? You were the driver, you had control so perhaps you should take the responsibility for the outcome. They cause the car crash and then blame the passenger.
Plz do someting on how to make life eazier for children and teenagers with Aspbergers.
Wow……. I have a workshop I will be attending later this month about this subject. I submitted a question in advance asking if it is possible to be trauma bonded to adult children. You are the first one who has stated this is possible. Listening to this was hard. Is it possible to have been trauma bonded to an ex partner and our children? If so, does this happen because the adult children have adopted the behaviors they learned from their father? Again, thank
You!
Hiding your happiness, sadness, guilt and embarrassment is no way to live. It will make you very sick. There’s 8 billion people on this planet, it’s not hard to find a couple of good friends. We are only here once!! For a short time!! Don’t waste your life, or even another day with people that enjoy watching you suffer. This is not a dress rehearsal. Hurry up and start living.
Intermittent positive reinforsement is addictive.
❤❤❤
41,600! Woo hoo! 🙌
Can you do s video where u explain how to deal with a narcissist of how to prevent them
So...what do I do if I have ALL of the signs? Fear is just fear, and for me, it is for every reason. I've been married for 27 years and my Narcissistic husband sought revenge because he felt "I" caused him to get fired from his job ( a job I moved almost 1500 miles away from my family and kids to support his career aspirations for) and when we moved back home, he decided I needed to be cheated on to hurt me because HE was hurting so much. Directly targeted me for assassination, basically. I am still with him, 8 months later, and I don't know why or what TF to do. Did I mention he tried to strangle me to death when I picked up his phone and saw the cheating texts with his AP? So yeah, I'm afraid. Afraid to stay, afraid to go. This kind of explains things, but tell me what to do Darren! please...
You are in danger either way. Quietly escape and block him on everything, change your phone, and go no contact? When you get away and you start to realise the depths of hell you were in with even more clarity, then time away from him brings peace eventually, even if you are on guard and watchful about him finding you.
If he’s already tried to strangle you, you are not only in emotional danger but now physical danger too. Don’t discuss this with him, arrange with a trusted family member to go to their house, pack a bag and leave. Don’t talk to him alone or without someone you trust and cut any form of contact. You can email to arrange any formalities but do not speak to them aside from this. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation but you need to be brave for yourself now because you deserve to feel safe. X
Could you do a video on narc mum and sister loving my children but hating me. Painful . thanks is this a narc thing to do.
Please let us pray for victims of trauma bonding to be healed. And let us pray for the victimizers as they may be suffering from their own kind of mental illness.
Could you do a few episodes on different types of healthy individuals. Because I feel like everyone iv ever met including me could fall under your different definitions of narcissistic qualities.
And can you do one on what problems people have that are phycologist or go into those kinds of fields. IV only seen them in there public life. But they all seem to show the same traits as for the ones iv seen. Kind of like they think they have everything together but looking from the outside towards them they look so fragile. Is this a field of work certain damaged people go into. Or is there behaviors and tendencies a result from having to listen to so many horrible story's everyday for work.
It's Very similar to codependence
Or they could keep your grandkids from you😰
6 for 6
Sounds like BDSM "relationships" in a nutshell.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAH SO FUNNY BUT IT IS SO TRUE
Except BDSM have rules and safe words
@@forrestfey Yeah, sure... Lie to yourself as much as you want. Traumabonded submissive person will not use safe word to not make their dom angry or disappointed, and the abusive "partner" will break the rules, then gaslight the traumabonded sub and blame them for being a bad sub.
I have seen too many red flags, from "there should not be safe word because it means the sub has control" to "stupid vanillas don´t know what a good sex is" (narcissism at its finest) on literally every BDSM discussion, no matter the country. All the people there are so obviously broken it´s totally tragic.
It was a big mistake to normalize deviations. There is no healthy BDSM relationship irl. It can´t be if both people are mentally ill and there´s a huge power imballance from the start.
@@hannahcando6496 It wasn´t supposed to be a joke. BDSM "lifestyle" (why the fu-k is it even a LIFESTYLE???) is a magnet for people who are broken in various ways. It´s basically the extreme version of the narcissistic abusive relationships this channel and other ones talk about.
Media Technical Support People and Staff @ Doctor MacG
Greetings: ( USA 🇺🇸) : er, Doctor Magee, thank you: again, Media Technical Support People and Staff @ Doctor Magee, thank you
Greetings: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: Doctor Magee
Greetings: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: Doctor Magee, thank you: again, Doctor Magee, thank you
Greetings: ( USA 🇺🇸) : Enormous Hug 🤗: lots of 💕 love: be very, very, very safe and, in thanksgiving, wishing you a blessed happy wonderful evening and a fabulous day ahead tomorrow
Greetings: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: the presentation is outstanding: much appreciation : again, the presentation is outstanding
Thank you!