Steven Seagal's Book | Chapo Trap House

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 127

  • @andyorenzo2449
    @andyorenzo2449 2 ปีที่แล้ว +251

    This book is dedicated to the Native American victims of Genocide…and the paramilitary settler Rangers who committed the worst atrocities against them

    • @carry-hunt9710
      @carry-hunt9710 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Duhn-duhn

    • @kuroi_1153
      @kuroi_1153 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Womp womp

    • @bigburd875
      @bigburd875 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Litteraly the only group that managed to treat natives worse than the United States Cavalry

    • @majikss
      @majikss 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      ​@@kuroi_1153 cringe

    • @kuroi_1153
      @kuroi_1153 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@majikss don’t give a fuck

  • @BabyBowDingBall
    @BabyBowDingBall 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    RIP Virgil. We all miss hearing one sardonic comment every 35 minutes. Poor Felix had to increase his vape intake tenfold to fill the void

  • @treeguyfly
    @treeguyfly 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I almost died of laughter the first time I heard the “some people, and many snakes” line, classic shit

  • @muskratrepairservices7701
    @muskratrepairservices7701 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Dedicating a book to both the rangers and Native Americans is just…. Oh, Steven. You’re such a card!

  • @Hubba404
    @Hubba404 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    "Steven Seagal isn't fat, just tactically wide"

  • @mengao816
    @mengao816 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    100K you got your placket!

  • @Circuitssmith
    @Circuitssmith 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Writing a book is really the next frontier for Seagal, because his self-insert character isn't held back by his meager stamina, limp wrists, and bloated gut like it would if he played them on film.

  • @sappy441
    @sappy441 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    This won't be a popular comment but when Steven was filming Beyond the Law in NYC, he would always come into the Panera I was working at back then when I was in college, even if I was just making bread bowls, he always went out of his way to say good morning and ask how school was going just because I rang him up once.

    • @gspendlove
      @gspendlove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You wouldn't happen to be a hot, trashy woman, would you? Because that would explain that.

  • @ponchowizard5182
    @ponchowizard5182 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Seagal's face is like the early ps2 era game graphics, where they figured out how to get the mouth to move but couldn't get the face textures to change expression.

  • @joshosborne683
    @joshosborne683 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Tactically wide

  • @andresdiaz-kirk6316
    @andresdiaz-kirk6316 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Holy fuck Seagal did a land acknowledgment

  • @technologic21
    @technologic21 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Cumtown reviewed the movies, Chapo reviewed the book. The circle is complete!

  • @christiananderson4909
    @christiananderson4909 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Feel like I need a brandy and a cigar to listen to this properly.

  • @olliegray7068
    @olliegray7068 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Did everyone else get the feeling John Gode wasn't just a self-insert, but genuinely how Steven sees himself when he looks in the mirror?

  • @GrayFlannelAds
    @GrayFlannelAds 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    The original Gravy SEAL

    • @treeguyfly
      @treeguyfly 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Meal Team 6

  • @ram_s_d27
    @ram_s_d27 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    'the highest level of Aikido is sitting down all the time' brilliant

  • @princesssprinklesthecat4192
    @princesssprinklesthecat4192 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Hes on Meal Team Six

  • @HuffdrewPaint
    @HuffdrewPaint 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    i bust on my stomach

  • @mrpink99
    @mrpink99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Steven Seagal looks like the South Park animators’ rendition of Seb Gorka

  • @UntoTheBreach24
    @UntoTheBreach24 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I imagine this is what popular fiction is like in the Shadowrun universe

  • @Evan64m
    @Evan64m 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    33:25 Matt goes full joker out of nowhere

  • @SchmuckAmok
    @SchmuckAmok ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Every time he said “WHAT IF…?” In Seagals raspy voice and the scary music, I lost it 😂😂

  • @sharkyanderson7930
    @sharkyanderson7930 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Had to relisten to this after finishing the 3 pt dollop on Steven Seagal. Way funnier than I remembered.

    • @Bstill42
      @Bstill42 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same.

  • @Smeghead1312
    @Smeghead1312 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Man this was like an audio version of MST3K

  • @walexander8378
    @walexander8378 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    This book is dedicated to the Native Americans. Now, onto the foreword by a modern day Andrew Jackson.

  • @jgfjfgjfhjf
    @jgfjfgjfhjf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Steven "Labrador Flattener" Seagal, with a nickname like this, you know he's a dangerous man

  • @jadlad9666
    @jadlad9666 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    30% of this book's word count was the phrase "what if"

  • @jj947
    @jj947 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    4:55 just bookmarking the best insult in history

    • @Baseballnfj
      @Baseballnfj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      In this particular reading I really enjoyed Felix's "whenever I jack off I think... my grandfather did this."
      But tactically wide was pretty fucking good.

  • @joelnicholson
    @joelnicholson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Johnny Be Goode, but Henry Be Gaye.

  • @TerrenceNowicki
    @TerrenceNowicki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    When I first saw an ad for that reality show where Seagal was a cop or whatever I genuinely thought it was a parody starring WIll Sasso as his ersatz Seagal from MadTV.

  • @matttriano
    @matttriano ปีที่แล้ว +9

    SIX YEARS AGO

  • @botchamaniajeezus
    @botchamaniajeezus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    begay is a common surname in indigenous naming schemes.

  • @rossadams8934
    @rossadams8934 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    So I went and listened to Cat Person after this. Felix is dead on.

  • @ZERO_O7X
    @ZERO_O7X 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Steve Sea Gull, Operator, Ninji, Navy Seal Team Six Founder, Protector of the Third Realm, Billy Jack fanboy, and King of the Silver Screen. 🥋

  • @MarkSiefert
    @MarkSiefert 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    More suggestions for Segal’s titles: Celebrated Pants-Shitter! Undefeated Dog Murderer! Poonani Master!

  • @gspendlove
    @gspendlove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    It's a shame they will probably never make this book into a movie.

  • @Supadupanerd
    @Supadupanerd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I heard Virgil's voice and then immediately thought: HOW OLD IS THIS... and then checked the date from the corner of the video

    • @nickadt
      @nickadt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      If only Virgil had checked how old something was...

    • @thepants1450
      @thepants1450 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@nickadt LMAO

    • @justcommenting4981
      @justcommenting4981 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nickadt if only the internet checked receipts.

    • @Cussy69_420
      @Cussy69_420 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nickadt you know, all of this is bull crap, right?

  • @vicaldama9314
    @vicaldama9314 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    We heard this...we need part two !

  • @ZGGuesswho
    @ZGGuesswho 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    some people...and many snakes

  • @SmittyDonutFactory
    @SmittyDonutFactory 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Too much to hope for a “Pearson Fode is….John Goade,” universe. 😭😭😭😭

  • @louloum3744
    @louloum3744 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    the aladdin gag is especially funny knowing that the Proud Boys named their little gang after a song from the aladdin broadway musical

  • @mathewidicula6425
    @mathewidicula6425 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    A warrior with of the waistline a septupled chin shogun if you will.

  • @trevfindley
    @trevfindley 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I can't be the only one listening to this thinking that the snake connection thing was inspired by Harry Potter? 😂

  • @kiyote437
    @kiyote437 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Damn, did Felix really reference *Bear Stearns Bravo*? That's a deep pull, even for him. Surprised to learn he's into ARGs. (It's at about 41:20)

  • @johnday2971
    @johnday2971 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    8:14 Matt screaming "This is LaRouche!!!"

  • @rossadams8934
    @rossadams8934 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I will pay for the Patreon again if they return to this book.

  • @Sneezes_LoL
    @Sneezes_LoL 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    What if reality was real

  • @jonasuriel7936
    @jonasuriel7936 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    For the algorithm

  • @elvirathon
    @elvirathon หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    So good, intelligent , fuck bro rogan

  • @sethherrington350
    @sethherrington350 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Begay is a common native name in Arizona

    • @GazerOfShoe
      @GazerOfShoe 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      It's a common name for Navajos, not really any other tribe. And Segall never specified what tribe he was talking about, but he heavily implied that the novel takes place in Southern Arizona along the border. Navajos live in northern arizona nowhere near the Mexican border.
      Coincidentally, that is also where all the wolves live in arizona. There are basically zero wolves in the southern part of the state, besides a few that have been reintroduced.
      The whole book is just a mismatch of stuff that Segall heard in passing over the past few decades. It's obvious that he didn't even do a single cursory google search as far as "research" goes.

  • @IhadToputAnameinHereSomewhere
    @IhadToputAnameinHereSomewhere 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    after hearing this i tell everybody within earshot that i now go by "dog flattener".

  • @GS-zc4sk
    @GS-zc4sk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    47min of pure Segal insight

  • @michaelclayton7932
    @michaelclayton7932 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    a true scholar warrior

  • @mengao816
    @mengao816 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    100k!!!

  • @DongerDayz
    @DongerDayz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    MORE

  • @princesssprinklesthecat4192
    @princesssprinklesthecat4192 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So how do.you write a book in crayon? Is the whole book in all caps Comic Sans?

  • @gentrelane
    @gentrelane 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The music lol

  • @bh-zj4yt
    @bh-zj4yt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    😂😂😂😂 Best Chapo yet

  • @berdyderg900
    @berdyderg900 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    V*rgil

  • @Umkarz
    @Umkarz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    please steven i'm scared for real dude

  • @Baseballnfj
    @Baseballnfj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    John Gode... Goad is much stupider I'm surprised he didn't go with that.
    Honestly WTF? You're making up a name... you have infinite choices... and you settle with John "Nantan" Gode???

  • @rapalbumdepot7648
    @rapalbumdepot7648 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Is this Bernie Sanders? 😂😂

  • @seanoconnor5713
    @seanoconnor5713 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Its hard for me not tp be grateful for the lefts ability just to be conversatiobally funny. Could you imafine being on the right where even the comedy has to obey a certain codified level of structure - no wonder they commit rage vased crimes - even their relaxed time is fascist. When im in charge, the reeducation camps will start with mandatory listening to this episode.

    • @CNYKnifeNerd
      @CNYKnifeNerd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That's what it is for me, too.
      I get the racism, misogyny and religious extermism, but forming your entire existence around something that just fundamentally lacks all humor is a total mystery to me.

    • @Smokey298
      @Smokey298 ปีที่แล้ว

      Have either of you guys ever even met a conservative?

    • @yareyarejose5080
      @yareyarejose5080 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Smokey298 yeah. the vast majority were unfunny.

  • @rburk121
    @rburk121 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    😀

  • @CzolgoszWorkinMan
    @CzolgoszWorkinMan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    join your local kiwi nanners club

  • @ComradeYinkai
    @ComradeYinkai 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    These guys sound like a bunch of danger folks!

  • @bougiitty
    @bougiitty 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    35:45

  • @YuriSakazaki
    @YuriSakazaki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    where is virgil texas

    • @Cussy69_420
      @Cussy69_420 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think he's on part 2 of their book review. This is an old episode, but why are you asking?

    • @YuriSakazaki
      @YuriSakazaki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Cussy69_420 i'm specifically referring to how he's completely disappeared from the face of the earth lmao

    • @mc5967
      @mc5967 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@YuriSakazaki yeah he done did some stuff

  • @insectdilemma
    @insectdilemma 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    7:25 aren’t prefaces usually written by the author of the book?

    • @LKeet6
      @LKeet6 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      pretty rare in a novel, no?
      I think they're riffing on the fact he keeps saying it's fiction then keeps presenting it as non-fiction.

  • @sammckenney8163
    @sammckenney8163 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Did they finish the book on Patreon?

  • @tko3833
    @tko3833 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Trump number 1