As someone who’ve been abused someone with NPD, thank you for both offering validation and help to those who have suffered because of narcissists while also not dehumanizing narcissists. No one should ever be told to forgive, love, like, empathize with, stay with, or try to help someone who’s abused them, and assuming they won’t change and moving on is pretty much what needs to be done, and also NPD is a mental illness just the same as any other, and people with it need somewhere to turn to for help that doesn’t just demonize them, and shame them, and call them a lost cause
There is a difference between having narcissistic traits and full NPD. Someone with NPD is incapable of change because they cannot accept that they are ‘defective’ in any way, let alone that they have a personality disorder.
agreed, youtube has a lot of doom and gloom for anyone who finds themselves with NPD, or an NPD partner...i get why that is, but NPD peeps are peeps, too.
I like this one. I'm happy to hear that people can change for the better. I don't think NPD is a black and white issue. There are varying degrees that everyone has and going around judging others for minor offenses is a bit narcissistic by itself. Still, you don't want to be somebody's empath or under their thumb so thanks for educating us on this subject.
The thing is... While we are forced to accept that we can't change the narcissist, these people in the other hands will go the extra length to try to change YOU and make you believe you are a defective human being for not conforming to their expectations. I can't count the numeros name calls and critisicms I received from this people... This makes the process of understanding much more infuriating, cause thanks to these jerks I truly believed there was something wrong with me.
I do have issues taking criticism too personally and feeling inadequate compared to others; this advice seems helpful in dealing with those things. Thanks!
I have had several bad experiences with talk therapy. Three who were just mean and told me my feelings were wrong. One who was slightly flaky. I don't trust them now.
Please believe me when I say I have the utmost respect for your work, and I deeply appreciate the help you've given me through the videos you produce. This video, however, I'm afraid, was wasted effort. The target audience of this information will totally inore it and will excuse the behavior. As a supervisor and entrepreneur in the field that I work in, I have offered a few of the points you made to those working under me. I could always see in their eyes the moment they have shut the sound of my voice out and begun formulating a response to what I just said. As an experiment to prove to myself they weren't listening, I would simply stop talking mid sentence, and they would immediately begin their come-back. There truly is no help for them.
I must disagree that this video was a wasted effort. I only came across Darren’s work and it has been one of the few that discusses self improvement or gives hope of improvement. There are hundreds of videos on YT about narcissistic personality and all the traits but they never give any constructive advice except to the victim. Thanks to hearing this video I am now finally armed with something I can show a close loved one. Anyone can make a video describing negative traits because they generate the most ‘likes’. In my opinion, whilst not a popular video for someone like yourself that works or employs an NP, it is invaluable for someone that needs help guiding a loved one. The loved one happens to be my adult child.
Transcript from the video available on Substack darrenfmagee.substack.com/p/behavioural-guide-to-changing-narcissistic
As someone who’ve been abused someone with NPD, thank you for both offering validation and help to those who have suffered because of narcissists while also not dehumanizing narcissists. No one should ever be told to forgive, love, like, empathize with, stay with, or try to help someone who’s abused them, and assuming they won’t change and moving on is pretty much what needs to be done, and also NPD is a mental illness just the same as any other, and people with it need somewhere to turn to for help that doesn’t just demonize them, and shame them, and call them a lost cause
*as someone who’s been abused by someone with NPD (correcting my spelling mistakes and word omissions, oops)
There is a difference between having narcissistic traits and full NPD. Someone with NPD is incapable of change because they cannot accept that they are ‘defective’ in any way, let alone that they have a personality disorder.
agreed, youtube has a lot of doom and gloom for anyone who finds themselves with NPD, or an NPD partner...i get why that is, but NPD peeps are peeps, too.
I like this one. I'm happy to hear that people can change for the better. I don't think NPD is a black and white issue. There are varying degrees that everyone has and going around judging others for minor offenses is a bit narcissistic by itself. Still, you don't want to be somebody's empath or under their thumb so thanks for educating us on this subject.
Good information here I hope it reaches those who need it the most
The thing is... While we are forced to accept that we can't change the narcissist, these people in the other hands will go the extra length to try to change YOU and make you believe you are a defective human being for not conforming to their expectations. I can't count the numeros name calls and critisicms I received from this people... This makes the process of understanding much more infuriating, cause thanks to these jerks I truly believed there was something wrong with me.
I do have issues taking criticism too personally and feeling inadequate compared to others; this advice seems helpful in dealing with those things. Thanks!
If they wanted to change...
Thank you Darren.
Good ideas
I have had several bad experiences with talk therapy. Three who were just mean and told me my feelings were wrong. One who was slightly flaky. I don't trust them now.
Please believe me when I say I have the utmost respect for your work, and I deeply appreciate the help you've given me through the videos you produce. This video, however, I'm afraid, was wasted effort. The target audience of this information will totally inore it and will excuse the behavior. As a supervisor and entrepreneur in the field that I work in, I have offered a few of the points you made to those working under me. I could always see in their eyes the moment they have shut the sound of my voice out and begun formulating a response to what I just said. As an experiment to prove to myself they weren't listening, I would simply stop talking mid sentence, and they would immediately begin their come-back. There truly is no help for them.
I must disagree that this video was a wasted effort. I only came across Darren’s work and it has been one of the few that discusses self improvement or gives hope of improvement. There are hundreds of videos on YT about narcissistic personality and all the traits but they never give any constructive advice except to the victim. Thanks to hearing this video I am now finally armed with something I can show a close loved one. Anyone can make a video describing negative traits because they generate the most ‘likes’. In my opinion, whilst not a popular video for someone like yourself that works or employs an NP, it is invaluable for someone that needs help guiding a loved one.
The loved one happens to be my adult child.
the perfect place for a liar to make shadow monsters
is standing close as possible to any bright light of truth
Thank you so much Darren 🙏🏼
pleasure/pain
fame/shame
joy/sorrow
Run
Medication 😅
I don’t have any.
there is only one way
out of the darkness
stop lying
@@Cornusnuttallii nonsense, only one in a hundred knows what’s going on.
@@symbolsandsystems I'm sorry, I thought you were talking about narcissists.