Me too😭I just want to tell them shut F your mouth and do your job and go home! But I cannot tell like that😅. I thought that i wished talk them whatever what I wants but it is not worth it. So I just try to not react and response professionally 😅
What a joke. A bully will never "correct their behavior" because Bullies (who are far too often Psycopaths, Sociopaths, and Narcissists) are incapable of any genuine inner change. These individuals have no remorse, empathy, honesty and do not live by societal norms as we do. The only way to deal with an office bully is to become non reactive and only respond with monotone non syllabic replies: Yes, No, Please, Thank you or I dont know. Never share personal information because the bully will use this against you in their gossip and smear campaign. The best and most effective way unfortunately to deal with office bullies is to just find another job. It will never stop, get better or change. And eventually these sickos find a way to paint YOU the victim as the bully in the end because their ultimate goal is to eliminate you the threat.
Having to deal with all of this bs just so we can pay our bills and have a roof over our heads. It’s so exhausting. I would like to become a recluse so I don’t have to deal with this.
Please don't, I'm at home with anxiety and depression because of the harassment at work, I struggle to function, sleep, eat, and now I'm in constant pain too
My husband was bullied by exclusion at his job when we lived out of state. The people in his department would have events in house and not invite him. One woman who was the major source of the problem (just another co-worker, not a boss) used to have such a terrible attitude, yet they tolerated it! I went in one day to see my husband and she was so darn nasty to me. She didn't know if I was a patient, a doctor, a supervisor from another facility or ? Unfortunately in business world there are so many horrible people you need to deal with.
So so sorry for the issues he experienced and the treatment you received. It's always good to remember that when someone treats us poorly it is a sign that there's something wrong with them, not us.
I usually explode and put them in their place in front of everyone… i am lucky no one has fired me yet and i always win so far, so i become the bully’s bully
Respectfully, none of this works out for the *bullied* at all. The victim will almost ALWAYS be terminated. What DOES work? 1. Leave the company as fast as you can. 2. The bully... Uhh... Er uh... Has an "accident" outside of work that keeps them for even returning to that workplace ever.
ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A POSITION OF POWER or they are liked by staff, it is quite sad. If you hit the person, you might even get arrested for assault, a charge that has serious consequences for your future, probably go to a higher floor in jail as well, wit hthe more serious violent people.
I seen my old bully a couple times and I know where he goes to workout, but he is not worth it. Most times they won't try to bully outside of work, they know they are safe at work doing whatever without consequences from the job
The bullied girl at my work ended her life to get away from the boss. The boss faced no consequences of what she did. I don’t know how she looks at herself in the mirror every day seeing as she is responsible for someone’s death. Even worse the girl was autistic. It takes a truly awful person to bully an autistic person
Those poor narcissistic middle managers have worked hard all their lives so they can do some cool bullying, and now this do gooder is trying to deprive them of their birth right! Damn you!
Human resources exists for hiring, firing, and administrative functions, such as payroll. If you expect them to care about your wellbeing, you are in for a very rude awakening.
Bulllies at Workplace 1.Screamer: feel like walking on eggshell with these people: Don't react to them, stand on your ground 2.Schemer: Lie, make up stories, gossip behind your back: Don't participate, work ethically & honorably, document them & report to HR right away 3.Freezer: They try to freeze you out with their authority, play favors with it: Be Kind, be professional & document your interactions, involve other people as a team 4.Belittler: Tiny comments, Gossip or talk behind your back to make you feel small: As "is this my truth?" think their comment as a gift- you decide take it or not.
For anyone in here who is feeling hopeless, it is possible. However, it takes a LONG time. It is a very long game. I'm taking on a workplace bully, I started this effort over six months ago, and I don't believe it will be resolved until late this year. It very well might take a whole year when it's said and done. Currently, there is an official investigation happening on this person's bullying behavior, it was escalated past the mediation phase (this is very good, most complaints get stopped in the mediation phase at our job because then there is a claim that "we worked it out, we can get along, we will get along"). Not this time. The bully doesn't get that opportunity for the complaint to be stopped in the mediation phase. The investigator is interviewing multiple people, mostly the bully's victims. They are all ready to stand up and speak the truth. I do not see how the bully will get out of this. I expect that they will be asked to leave when the investigation is concluded. We'll see. But, the important note here is that this takes TIME. It may take several, several months. My own crusade against the bully at my job will probably take a year all-in-all.
An other time at a job, I noticed big people love to pick on smaller people, height wise, size, strength, yet people love them. It blows myh mind. Followers, won't stand up for what is right.
a covert narcisssist will attack you covertly - pretending to talk about a customer in a condescending way but indirectly letting you know that is what they think of you and not the client. Sick f***ks.
Sorry, this is not useful. People who bully usually get a little coterie around them to bully their target and nothing that you can do other than disappear will make it stop. I know this to my cost. I was fired from my job and not satisfied with that, one of my bullies phoned my home phone and falsely made out that I had been having a workplace affair. Broke up my marriage too.
We are always here to offer personalized help to anyone who needs it. Thank you for your comment, and feel free to reach out to info@GILDCoaching.com or schedule a session: www.ScheduleGILD.com
Wow, that's absolutely despicable behaviour. Although if your partner was that flaky, I'd say you were better off without them. I hope you are doing okay now 💓
your coworkers need to know very little about you - they don't need to know who your spouse is, they don't need to know anything about you outside of work
What about those that don’t greet you but the room goes silent when you walk in, they give you all the tasks they don’t want to do and so forth. Their laughter echoes in mind when I walk away. Work is such a tense and horrible place to be because of this behaviour.
Regarding the last comment on the "belittler" archetype, while i don't disagree with your feedback, it's important to realise that this behaviour is still bullying, and in most jurisdictions, illegal. Therefore, keep written and verbal records and account keeping. You will need this to build your case to HR / court. Having objective records is the way to 100% prove this person is a bully
Inscured jelaousy a d GREDDY people creates such nasty working environments. I am experience in my current job as well. Workplace bullying crrates lot of unwanted issues in life stress and healh issues in life.
yes I used to have a very strong throat chakra, workplace bullying and a toxic work cultured messed it up for me...also my digestive system has developed several problems - bullies and psychopaths attack your solar plexus system where your personal power lies. Being stuck in a job you hate and that makes you miserable can seriously and negatively effect your seat of personal power.
Unfortunately it’s all depends on the background. If the bullies are out numbered to the victim, there is nothing you can do. The worst type of bullies are what they call bruisers at work environment. They are roaming around in group and always looking for the opportunities to harass the loner. The have very bad attitude like “You will have to take it when other bullied on you, so go around and screw as much as you could.” Unfortunately, some victims become bullies after talking those for a while. Unless management recognized and control these issues there is nothing you could.
That's whats happening to me. I'm their target because i refused to be their target! It's pretty pathetic really, 50yrs plus men bullying a woman because she won't take her place at the bottom of the pile. Cowards the lot of them and they can F right off if they think they're going to win 😅
Thank you for your feedback. It sounds like we'd need to know more about your specific situation to be of help. If you would like that, please schedule a session: www.ScheduleGILD.com
Unfortunately, this advice MIGHT work if the bully is a co-worker, that is, roughly in the same position of power as you. It does not work if the bully is a supervisor or manager. The research shows that institutions will stand behind the manager. The bullied worker is forced out. If the worker sues, they relive the trauma of their experience as well as foot the bill of a slow and expensive legal process (the manager, in the meantime, is funded by the organisation). Plus, the bullied worker loses reputationally in the market-place. Workplace bullying is insidious behavior that, at its heart, is an abuse of power. With all due respect to the coach here, it cannot be solved by individual wits or resilience.
i agree is the bully is a supervisor or manager the bullied worker is forced out. Also as you said the bullied worker loses reputationally in the market place. This happened to me.
How is asking your self "Is this my truth" a way to deal with "The Belittler" at work? You knowing that the info the bully is implying is not true is not necessarily enough to make them stop throwing passive comments at you. How about asking your self the following instead "What outcome does the belittler bully want to achieve by throwing a passive aggressive comment your way? " Do they want to see you get upset? Do they want you to report their comment your supervisor, so that it escalates to a meeting where they a) find some way to make it seem like you took what they said out of context b) justify their comment to you and make it seem like all was harmless so you look like a petty complainer Do they want you to second guess the quality of your work Do they want you to take directives from them so that they create a false sense of power higherarchy when you are actually on the same level and same pay grade? Once you figure out what they want you ask your self one more question, "How do I find a way to not give them the outcome that they want? They are not my supervisor." It would be most helpful if instructions were spelled out past asking yourself "Is this my truth?" What next? Knowing that the bilittler's comment is not your truth is not quite enough. There needs to be action steps paired with that.
Screamer:not react ...stand let people know you want to hear respect only... Schemer :no gossips ...type record be positive..keep digital record Freezer Control and prefer other differently. .. verbal and digital record ...I have requested this and you say that not available... cc to managers ..they like singular situations Belittlers ..
Ok thanks for information. @ workplace bullying nasty behavior at work place creates Unwanted stress . Absolutely created lot of issues in my job's life Experiencing lot of unwanted hedache. fear of such brainstroke Heart issues due to nasty sarcastic work place physcopaths
What would somebody who comes near you purposefully singing loudly and/or obnoxiously because they know you hate it count as? Which category I mean? Plus, this person tends to gossip, seems like they want to be the center of attention, and tends to want work done for them sooner than others. This is in a food service context.
Let me start out by saying HR does not care. I been harrased, sexually assaulted at work(long story) by a guy once and multiple women, also bullies, they never cared. However this current job presents a new third bullet, different from the other 2 at other jobs, this one showed change, the bully at my current job aka my leader, he always likes to harass and try to make my day hell. So I went and prayed to Jesus for taking care of the battle for me, so today I went in, the bully has a 100% different demeanor with me, we laughed a bit and talked and he gave me a compliment for the first time. God is good. I experienced bullies a lot in my younger days until I punched them or slammed their head into something. Older later in life, the bullies were at places where I made money, so I tried the professional route of telling HR/boss and even told people, they all laughed and said oh he is just joking that is how he jokes. The world is a weird place. it seems if you are a man, being harrased or touched by women, HR thinks you are joking, if you are a woman, you get the red carpet. Just my experience.
Feel pity on the workplace bullies.As for them they need to get help by attending church regularly accept the Lord Jesus as their lord and savior in their mind and heart and soul. Pray for God to forgive them.Revenge is Gods job not yours
No feel empathy for the victim. God helps those who help themselves and never requires anyone to willfully suffer. Self defense is not a sin. Lying about it would be but if your truly being mistreated telling the supervisor and getting them fired, calling the police or calling a lawyer for a lawsuit is absolutely just and they deserve exactly whatever happens. Ash to ash and dust to dust for their career. Bury them and let God be the judge of them.
Dont take people personally, as long as u get money and they dont harm you keep going to work and meet people there, but if they start harming you, then run away asap
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I'm sick of the toxicity and evil at work.
this BS is even in ALL law firms I worked at...as an Attorney it is a rude awakening to see the worst of people you placed on a pedestal
Me too😭I just want to tell them shut F your mouth and do your job and go home! But I cannot tell like that😅. I thought that i wished talk them whatever what I wants but it is not worth it. So I just try to not react and response professionally 😅
It's EVERYWHERE
What a joke. A bully will never "correct their behavior" because Bullies (who are far too often Psycopaths, Sociopaths, and Narcissists) are incapable of any genuine inner change. These individuals have no remorse, empathy, honesty and do not live by societal norms as we do. The only way to deal with an office bully is to become non reactive and only respond with monotone non syllabic replies: Yes, No, Please, Thank you or I dont know. Never share personal information because the bully will use this against you in their gossip and smear campaign. The best and most effective way unfortunately to deal with office bullies is to just find another job. It will never stop, get better or change. And eventually these sickos find a way to paint YOU the victim as the bully in the end because their ultimate goal is to eliminate you the threat.
Having to deal with all of this bs just so we can pay our bills and have a roof over our heads. It’s so exhausting. I would like to become a recluse so I don’t have to deal with this.
Yes!!! I agree with you 100 percent. Just leaving work now and exhausted from this crap. Mentally exhausted.
Please don't, I'm at home with anxiety and depression because of the harassment at work, I struggle to function, sleep, eat, and now I'm in constant pain too
@@AlissaSss23 please let us know if we can provide any support to you. You can book a call with me (Dr. Jane) here: www.ScheduleGILD.com
The worst is when you have a high intensity job, so you can’t just quite quit until you find something.
Me too
Damn they are everywhere! Exhausting.
My husband was bullied by exclusion at his job when we lived out of state. The people in his department would have events in house and not invite him. One woman who was the major source of the problem (just another co-worker, not a boss) used to have such a terrible attitude, yet they tolerated it! I went in one day to see my husband and she was so darn nasty to me. She didn't know if I was a patient, a doctor, a supervisor from another facility or ? Unfortunately in business world there are so many horrible people you need to deal with.
So so sorry for the issues he experienced and the treatment you received. It's always good to remember that when someone treats us poorly it is a sign that there's something wrong with them, not us.
Im sick of working! Period!
Me too
Amen
I’m too cute to work anyway.
People are so difficult at work
This still resonated,in
2023
I experienced the belittler.
I usually explode and put them in their place in front of everyone… i am lucky no one has fired me yet and i always win so far, so i become the bully’s bully
Respectfully, none of this works out for the *bullied* at all. The victim will almost ALWAYS be terminated.
What DOES work?
1. Leave the company as fast as you can.
2. The bully... Uhh... Er uh... Has an "accident" outside of work that keeps them for even returning to that workplace ever.
ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A POSITION OF POWER or they are liked by staff, it is quite sad. If you hit the person, you might even get arrested for assault, a charge that has serious consequences for your future, probably go to a higher floor in jail as well, wit hthe more serious violent people.
I seen my old bully a couple times and I know where he goes to workout, but he is not worth it. Most times they won't try to bully outside of work, they know they are safe at work doing whatever without consequences from the job
Also they are cowards. Yes the law may protect the coward
The bullied girl at my work ended her life to get away from the boss. The boss faced no consequences of what she did. I don’t know how she looks at herself in the mirror every day seeing as she is responsible for someone’s death. Even worse the girl was autistic. It takes a truly awful person to bully an autistic person
@@cherrytraveller5915narcissistic bosses ruin many lives and careers😢😢😢😢😢 and they don't care at all...but karma is a b!tch
Three words: “Per our conversation…” for all documentation and emails.
Those poor narcissistic middle managers have worked hard all their lives so they can do some cool bullying, and now this do gooder is trying to deprive them of their birth right! Damn you!
Human resources exists for hiring, firing, and administrative functions, such as payroll. If you expect them to care about your wellbeing, you are in for a very rude awakening.
Bulllies at Workplace
1.Screamer: feel like walking on eggshell with these people: Don't react to them, stand on your ground
2.Schemer: Lie, make up stories, gossip behind your back: Don't participate, work ethically & honorably, document them & report to HR right away
3.Freezer: They try to freeze you out with their authority, play favors with it: Be Kind, be professional & document your interactions, involve other people as a team
4.Belittler: Tiny comments, Gossip or talk behind your back to make you feel small: As "is this my truth?" think their comment as a gift- you decide take it or not.
Bullies attack you to mess up your energy system - my throat chakra and solar plexus are so messed up for working in law firms
For anyone in here who is feeling hopeless, it is possible. However, it takes a LONG time. It is a very long game. I'm taking on a workplace bully, I started this effort over six months ago, and I don't believe it will be resolved until late this year. It very well might take a whole year when it's said and done. Currently, there is an official investigation happening on this person's bullying behavior, it was escalated past the mediation phase (this is very good, most complaints get stopped in the mediation phase at our job because then there is a claim that "we worked it out, we can get along, we will get along"). Not this time. The bully doesn't get that opportunity for the complaint to be stopped in the mediation phase. The investigator is interviewing multiple people, mostly the bully's victims. They are all ready to stand up and speak the truth. I do not see how the bully will get out of this. I expect that they will be asked to leave when the investigation is concluded. We'll see. But, the important note here is that this takes TIME. It may take several, several months. My own crusade against the bully at my job will probably take a year all-in-all.
An other time at a job, I noticed big people love to pick on smaller people, height wise, size, strength, yet people love them. It blows myh mind. Followers, won't stand up for what is right.
@jessicaras4540 After looking up the context for the verses, you actually used them correctly, respect.
a covert narcisssist will attack you covertly - pretending to talk about a customer in a condescending way but indirectly letting you know that is what they think of you and not the client. Sick f***ks.
Thanks for talking about this topic, it is very useful to help those in need of it!
Not like HR will help..first type of bullying comes from HR
Sorry, this is not useful. People who bully usually get a little coterie around them to bully their target and nothing that you can do other than disappear will make it stop. I know this to my cost. I was fired from my job and not satisfied with that, one of my bullies phoned my home phone and falsely made out that I had been having a workplace affair. Broke up my marriage too.
We are always here to offer personalized help to anyone who needs it. Thank you for your comment, and feel free to reach out to info@GILDCoaching.com or schedule a session: www.ScheduleGILD.com
Wow, that's absolutely despicable behaviour. Although if your partner was that flaky, I'd say you were better off without them. I hope you are doing okay now 💓
your coworkers need to know very little about you - they don't need to know who your spouse is, they don't need to know anything about you outside of work
What about those that don’t greet you but the room goes silent when you walk in, they give you all the tasks they don’t want to do and so forth.
Their laughter echoes in mind when I walk away.
Work is such a tense and horrible place to be because of this behaviour.
My boss is the belittler. Probably going to quit if can't transfer. Makes my already stressful job more so.
Regarding the last comment on the "belittler" archetype, while i don't disagree with your feedback, it's important to realise that this behaviour is still bullying, and in most jurisdictions, illegal. Therefore, keep written and verbal records and account keeping. You will need this to build your case to HR / court. Having objective records is the way to 100% prove this person is a bully
Well, bully's doesn't want to get into trouble.
Beautiful. Thank you so much.
Inscured jelaousy a d GREDDY people creates such nasty working environments.
I am experience in my current job as well.
Workplace bullying crrates lot of unwanted issues in life stress and healh issues in life.
yes I used to have a very strong throat chakra, workplace bullying and a toxic work cultured messed it up for me...also my digestive system has developed several problems - bullies and psychopaths attack your solar plexus system where your personal power lies. Being stuck in a job you hate and that makes you miserable can seriously and negatively effect your seat of personal power.
Unfortunately it’s all depends on the background. If the bullies are out numbered to the victim, there is nothing you can do. The worst type of bullies are what they call bruisers at work environment. They are roaming around in group and always looking for the opportunities to harass the loner. The have very bad attitude like “You will have to take it when other bullied on you, so go around and screw as much as you could.” Unfortunately, some victims become bullies after talking those for a while. Unless management recognized and control these issues there is nothing you could.
Exactly
That's whats happening to me. I'm their target because i refused to be their target! It's pretty pathetic really, 50yrs plus men bullying a woman because she won't take her place at the bottom of the pile. Cowards the lot of them and they can F right off if they think they're going to win 😅
Is it bullying if let's say you have a misunderstanding with someone and you don't handle it well?
Didn't find this helpful. When everyone is against you, and you have no support. It's hard
Thank you for your feedback. It sounds like we'd need to know more about your specific situation to be of help. If you would like that, please schedule a session: www.ScheduleGILD.com
Write everything done in a recap or journal. Date and time
I'm dealing with the screamer and freezer.
Sorry to hear that, hope it's better now? I have the freezer and the belittler.
Unfortunately, this advice MIGHT work if the bully is a co-worker, that is, roughly in the same position of power as you. It does not work if the bully is a supervisor or manager. The research shows that institutions will stand behind the manager. The bullied worker is forced out. If the worker sues, they relive the trauma of their experience as well as foot the bill of a slow and expensive legal process (the manager, in the meantime, is funded by the organisation). Plus, the bullied worker loses reputationally in the market-place. Workplace bullying is insidious behavior that, at its heart, is an abuse of power. With all due respect to the coach here, it cannot be solved by individual wits or resilience.
i agree is the bully is a supervisor or manager the bullied worker is forced out. Also as you said the bullied worker loses reputationally in the market place. This happened to me.
How is asking your self "Is this my truth" a way to deal with "The Belittler" at work? You knowing that the info the bully is implying is not true is not necessarily enough to make them stop throwing passive comments at you. How about asking your self the following instead "What outcome does the belittler bully want to achieve by throwing a passive aggressive comment your way? "
Do they want to see you get upset?
Do they want you to report their comment your supervisor, so that it escalates to a meeting where they
a) find some way to make it seem like you took what they said out of context
b) justify their comment to you and make it seem like all was harmless so you look like a petty complainer
Do they want you to second guess the quality of your work
Do they want you to take directives from them so that they create a false sense of power higherarchy when you are actually on the same level and same pay grade?
Once you figure out what they want you ask your self one more question, "How do I find a way to not give them the outcome that they want? They are not my supervisor."
It would be most helpful if instructions were spelled out past asking yourself "Is this my truth?" What next? Knowing that the bilittler's comment is not your truth is not quite enough. There needs to be action steps paired with that.
Screamer:not react ...stand let people know you want to hear respect only...
Schemer :no gossips ...type record be positive..keep digital record
Freezer
Control and prefer other differently. .. verbal and digital record ...I have requested this and you say that not available... cc to managers ..they like singular situations
Belittlers ..
Ok thanks for information.
@ workplace bullying
nasty behavior at work place creates
Unwanted stress . Absolutely created lot of issues in my job's life
Experiencing lot of unwanted hedache.
fear of such brainstroke
Heart issues due to nasty sarcastic work place physcopaths
They give you static, you give them grief,
they give you grief, you give them hostility,
they give you hostility, you empty the frreakin' silos!!!!
Don't gossip
Happen to me bullying horrible fell down.
I have two jobs, One is my job!! the other job is how to deal with asshole coworkers !! I don't get paid enuff
What would somebody who comes near you purposefully singing loudly and/or obnoxiously because they know you hate it count as? Which category I mean? Plus, this person tends to gossip, seems like they want to be the center of attention, and tends to want work done for them sooner than others. This is in a food service context.
Let me start out by saying HR does not care. I been harrased, sexually assaulted at work(long story) by a guy once and multiple women, also bullies, they never cared. However this current job presents a new third bullet, different from the other 2 at other jobs, this one showed change, the bully at my current job aka my leader, he always likes to harass and try to make my day hell. So I went and prayed to Jesus for taking care of the battle for me, so today I went in, the bully has a 100% different demeanor with me, we laughed a bit and talked and he gave me a compliment for the first time.
God is good. I experienced bullies a lot in my younger days until I punched them or slammed their head into something. Older later in life, the bullies were at places where I made money, so I tried the professional route of telling HR/boss and even told people, they all laughed and said oh he is just joking that is how he jokes. The world is a weird place.
it seems if you are a man, being harrased or touched by women, HR thinks you are joking, if you are a woman, you get the red carpet. Just my experience.
2 min. she STILL not started 😢
Feel pity on the workplace bullies.As for them they need to get help by attending church regularly accept the Lord Jesus as their lord and savior in their mind and heart and soul. Pray for God to forgive them.Revenge is Gods job not yours
No feel empathy for the victim. God helps those who help themselves and never requires anyone to willfully suffer. Self defense is not a sin. Lying about it would be but if your truly being mistreated telling the supervisor and getting them fired, calling the police or calling a lawyer for a lawsuit is absolutely just and they deserve exactly whatever happens. Ash to ash and dust to dust for their career. Bury them and let God be the judge of them.
My bully boss does go to church. Two people have said he has a church face and another face. Like Jekyll and Hyde! I dont go to that church anymore!
Dont take people personally, as long as u get money and they dont harm you keep going to work and meet people there, but if they start harming you, then run away asap
Do you think harming is just physical alone, are you serious.