Happy holidays! I just got back from watching your experience living with a hoarding parent and it has helped me so much. I didn’t realize until now that many of my tendencies and insecurities are from my experience. I was always ashamed of my house with how dirty and cluttered it was all of the time, mold in the bathrooms, never having anyone over. I am in colleges and still come home for the holidays, but it’s so hard bc I don’t get the decorating or the clean house or the cozy meals. My mom would always shame me and would say I’m ungrateful for being embarrassed.
I am so SO glad that video helped Ashley, thank you so much for taking the time to watch it! It is great that you can leave the house for college. But I hear you, going home for the holidays is challenging. You get that taste of normalcy and cleanliness in your space, then you go home and it goes away for a bit. You mom should NOT shame you for noticing the disfunction in the home and you wishing it were different. Your awareness probably threatens her denial so she lashes out at you! You're not doing anything wrong. It sounds like your mom just isn't ready to handle acknowledging the home because of her pain and trauma, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. I'm sorry things are like this now, seems like you have a safer place to live after this holiday break so that is a wonderful thing! Sending all my love your way :)
you are so right about feeling like you missed out on a wonderful experiences. haven't had decorations or a Christmas tree up in my childhood home, that is still a hoarder home for close to 20 years now it seems. I hope you had a great holiday! I look forward to more videos from you!
So glad to see you in the comments Robby! I hope your holiday season was filled with some love. Cheers to a New Year, a chance for growth, new opportunities and wonderful experiences!
I'll be honest, this video and the one right before it about separation anxiety were your only videos I had not watched immediately when you posted them. The other one was because I felt like (or maybe I just told myself) I wouldn't relate to it and this one I had started to watch and stopped because I felt like it might trigger me. I was going through a lot that I can't really talk about easily. At the time of the other video I was trying to separate from a S.O. who was very persistent and had a very anxious attachment style. I felt like the relationship was not healthy. I'm not trying to glorify my avoidant detachment style I know that's something I need to work on but I was kinda relieved to have time alone. I know he loved me very much to the best of his ability but there were aspects of the relationship that felt toxic so I say I was "trying" to separate from him because he was so persistent that I continued to see him again after that but right before Christmas he passed away. I had also in previous years lost other loved ones including my mom and my grandfather right before Christmas so dealing with grief around the holidays makes it very difficult and that's why I felt like this video might be triggering. After my mom died, when we were cleaning out her storage units, we found 25 boxes of Christmas decorations but I have not decorated for Christmas since she was first diagnosed with cancer a couple decades ago. The main reason I came back to watch these two videos today was because I wanted to be supportive of your channel and let the ads play so you might get a little kick back from that. I do enjoy your videos, though. It makes me happy to hear about you doing things you enjoy. Sending love your way. I'd like to suggest a video idea about Mother's day and Father's day. I'm curious how your relationship is now with your parent and if you give a clutter-free gift like an outing or meal etc.
You absolute angel. I so deeply want to thank you for sharing all that you have in this comment and the ones before. I completely understand why these two videos would trigger you... I'm so sorry for the loss you have experienced, particularly that it is all a similar timing so I'm sure those feelings hit hard. Your tremendous availability for empathy and encouragement is so inspiring! While I'm not yet monetized on youtube, hearing how you support me and how GENEROUS you are with your time, makes my heart sing more than any paycheck could. About the videos you recommend, that is a wonderful idea! However, I would keep the gender of my parent private since thats my way of giving my hoarder parent anonymity, but maybe talking about my overall relationship with my hoarder parent would be helpful? There are a lot of boundaries in place, so with the "gift" giving like you ask... its complicated. That being said thank you so much for being here and opening up. Infinite hugs and love to you. 💕
@@gaylakay4132 I understand and realized that you were keeping the gender private which is why I grouped the two together (it applies to all holidays) to suggest speaking in a general way about the subject. A lot of times in these types of situations the relationships can become strained with both parents in different ways and in my situation I have a step parent who is an extreme minimalist so I am learning to apply the same concept of clutter free gifts for everyone unless I know something is very practical and needed. I also have a struggle with receiving gifts as well. I want people in my life to feel appreciated but I feel defensive of my limited space so if someone asks me what I want for a holiday I usually request food lol Much love
Happy Holidays Gayla and anyone else reading this. I hope you're doing okay, this year has been a tough one... again... but if you're reading this it means you've made it through! well done! Wishing you a peaceful Xmas, Hannukah, Kwanza and/or other special day you may or may not celebrate and a harmonious and fulfilling new year. xoxo
What a beautiful Holiday message Cat! So glad to see you in the comments again. I'm so sorry this year was tough. Sending all my love to you and looking forward to the newness, growth, and change this new year can bring!
Happy holidays! I just got back from watching your experience living with a hoarding parent and it has helped me so much. I didn’t realize until now that many of my tendencies and insecurities are from my experience. I was always ashamed of my house with how dirty and cluttered it was all of the time, mold in the bathrooms, never having anyone over. I am in colleges and still come home for the holidays, but it’s so hard bc I don’t get the decorating or the clean house or the cozy meals. My mom would always shame me and would say I’m ungrateful for being embarrassed.
I am so SO glad that video helped Ashley, thank you so much for taking the time to watch it!
It is great that you can leave the house for college. But I hear you, going home for the holidays is challenging. You get that taste of normalcy and cleanliness in your space, then you go home and it goes away for a bit.
You mom should NOT shame you for noticing the disfunction in the home and you wishing it were different.
Your awareness probably threatens her denial so she lashes out at you!
You're not doing anything wrong. It sounds like your mom just isn't ready to handle acknowledging the home because of her pain and trauma, but that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.
I'm sorry things are like this now, seems like you have a safer place to live after this holiday break so that is a wonderful thing!
Sending all my love your way :)
you are so right about feeling like you missed out on a wonderful experiences. haven't had decorations or a Christmas tree up in my childhood home, that is still a hoarder home for close to 20 years now it seems. I hope you had a great holiday! I look forward to more videos from you!
So glad to see you in the comments Robby!
I hope your holiday season was filled with some love.
Cheers to a New Year, a chance for growth, new opportunities and wonderful experiences!
Good timing. I just had a pretty difficult convo with my mother(who hoards) today. Thanks Gayla.
Those convos can feel so draining, I'm so sorry you had a rough time. Sending love your way :)
Amazing video editing and reenactment. Glad I found your chnl.
Dawn thank you so much!!
I'll be honest, this video and the one right before it about separation anxiety were your only videos I had not watched immediately when you posted them. The other one was because I felt like (or maybe I just told myself) I wouldn't relate to it and this one I had started to watch and stopped because I felt like it might trigger me. I was going through a lot that I can't really talk about easily. At the time of the other video I was trying to separate from a S.O. who was very persistent and had a very anxious attachment style. I felt like the relationship was not healthy. I'm not trying to glorify my avoidant detachment style I know that's something I need to work on but I was kinda relieved to have time alone. I know he loved me very much to the best of his ability but there were aspects of the relationship that felt toxic so I say I was "trying" to separate from him because he was so persistent that I continued to see him again after that but right before Christmas he passed away. I had also in previous years lost other loved ones including my mom and my grandfather right before Christmas so dealing with grief around the holidays makes it very difficult and that's why I felt like this video might be triggering. After my mom died, when we were cleaning out her storage units, we found 25 boxes of Christmas decorations but I have not decorated for Christmas since she was first diagnosed with cancer a couple decades ago. The main reason I came back to watch these two videos today was because I wanted to be supportive of your channel and let the ads play so you might get a little kick back from that. I do enjoy your videos, though. It makes me happy to hear about you doing things you enjoy. Sending love your way. I'd like to suggest a video idea about Mother's day and Father's day. I'm curious how your relationship is now with your parent and if you give a clutter-free gift like an outing or meal etc.
You absolute angel. I so deeply want to thank you for sharing all that you have in this comment and the ones before.
I completely understand why these two videos would trigger you... I'm so sorry for the loss you have experienced, particularly that it is all a similar timing so I'm sure those feelings hit hard. Your tremendous availability for empathy and encouragement is so inspiring!
While I'm not yet monetized on youtube, hearing how you support me and how GENEROUS you are with your time, makes my heart sing more than any paycheck could.
About the videos you recommend, that is a wonderful idea! However, I would keep the gender of my parent private since thats my way of giving my hoarder parent anonymity, but maybe talking about my overall relationship with my hoarder parent would be helpful? There are a lot of boundaries in place, so with the "gift" giving like you ask... its complicated.
That being said thank you so much for being here and opening up.
Infinite hugs and love to you. 💕
@@gaylakay4132 I understand and realized that you were keeping the gender private which is why I grouped the two together (it applies to all holidays) to suggest speaking in a general way about the subject. A lot of times in these types of situations the relationships can become strained with both parents in different ways and in my situation I have a step parent who is an extreme minimalist so I am learning to apply the same concept of clutter free gifts for everyone unless I know something is very practical and needed. I also have a struggle with receiving gifts as well. I want people in my life to feel appreciated but I feel defensive of my limited space so if someone asks me what I want for a holiday I usually request food lol
Much love
Happy Holidays Gayla and anyone else reading this. I hope you're doing okay, this year has been a tough one... again... but if you're reading this it means you've made it through! well done! Wishing you a peaceful Xmas, Hannukah, Kwanza and/or other special day you may or may not celebrate and a harmonious and fulfilling new year. xoxo
What a beautiful Holiday message Cat!
So glad to see you in the comments again.
I'm so sorry this year was tough.
Sending all my love to you and looking forward to the newness, growth, and change this new year can bring!
Happy Holidays, beautiful lady.
Same to you, D!