Really relate to this. I’m a “mainstream” clinical psychologist by profession but am also clairvoyant & intuitive. Sometimes I am not as aware as I should be of accidentally using the latter skill-set in sessions. For the most part, I think patients tend not to notice when I speak about stuff they have not actually told me. Occasionally people do notice and remark on that but it tends to be positive (they feel understood or I figure out they’re struggling with a particular condition they didn’t know was a thing, etc.). Buuut, I recently had a first session with someone whom I could tell just did not like me. Was trying to ignore that feeling when I got too close to home with describing their relationship dynamic-I could see it so clearly. I strongly felt they did not want to be with their partner. Long story short, I said exactly that & triggered a panic attack (shitty, because I specialize in trauma & it felt like being a perpetrator). The next day, I got an email from this person describing how unsafe they felt, how unprofessional they thought I was, etc. I think being too aware of their antipathy towards me in the session-so being too empathic-interfered with me practicing as skillfully as I otherwise would & ironically, with treating this person as sensitively as I otherwise would have.
Oh wow thanks for sharing - what an amazing example of how part of you that would create safety for many people under many circumstances, can sometimes move things in another direction. I can relate!
I found your “How to Open Your Heart” book first (after googling that question) & then your TH-cam channel. Your book was the most personally influential book I have read in years. I have been recommending it to friends & people I work with. I massively relate to so much of what you speak about, and am inspired by your honesty. Actually the topic that connected the most for me was your discussion about being dependent on getting a hit of sexual affirmation from women & how you worked to change your energy. I’m definitely the female version of that and don’t like this about myself. It’s something I am actively working to change but don’t hear many people (any outside addiction recovery circles!) discuss this!
I'm hyper empathetic and it's exhausting. Everyone's issues affect me to the point that they feel like mine. I wish I could stop caring about other people. I shouldn't be mothering for people when they wouldn't give a fuck about me. People only value things they work hard for. If you're out there being generous with your empathy, you'll find people depriving you of the appreciation you deserve simply because your empathy was free.
Mr. Miles, What an insightful video you have shared with us! I just have found your channel bc this video has got recommended to me. It's like you have summerized most of my problems in this video. Weak boundaries, people pleasing, isolation.. All these came from unchecked empathy.. I'm quite shocked, as well as grateful for you. By articulating and sharing these ideas, I was able to recognize the problem. Thank you! Really thank you!
Some good thoughts thanks for sharing. I guess you may not have seen my other comment. But yes, it's best not to assume things about people without really knowing them or where they're coming from, which can happen too easily on social media culture that moves way too fast. Sometimes when I get a bit caught up in it, I then take long breaks because I can absorb too much emotionally which can be the downside of empathy or sensitivity without good boundaries or self-discipline. Overall though, as you said, empathy really is a beautiful thing especially when it's warranted. Other times it's best kept in check until more can be known about certain people, because of the manipulators out there
I don't empathise with stupid people who are clueless themselves, and never empathise too much live , maybe in retrospect but in live functions it's close to useless. Also being good at empathizing is a skill to manipulate others cause you understand their concerns and world view and you can speak in a way that they understand you
Really relate to this. I’m a “mainstream” clinical psychologist by profession but am also clairvoyant & intuitive. Sometimes I am not as aware as I should be of accidentally using the latter skill-set in sessions. For the most part, I think patients tend not to notice when I speak about stuff they have not actually told me. Occasionally people do notice and remark on that but it tends to be positive (they feel understood or I figure out they’re struggling with a particular condition they didn’t know was a thing, etc.).
Buuut, I recently had a first session with someone whom I could tell just did not like me. Was trying to ignore that feeling when I got too close to home with describing their relationship dynamic-I could see it so clearly. I strongly felt they did not want to be with their partner. Long story short, I said exactly that & triggered a panic attack (shitty, because I specialize in trauma & it felt like being a perpetrator). The next day, I got an email from this person describing how unsafe they felt, how unprofessional they thought I was, etc. I think being too aware of their antipathy towards me in the session-so being too empathic-interfered with me practicing as skillfully as I otherwise would & ironically, with treating this person as sensitively as I otherwise would have.
Oh wow thanks for sharing - what an amazing example of how part of you that would create safety for many people under many circumstances, can sometimes move things in another direction. I can relate!
I found your “How to Open Your Heart” book first (after googling that question) & then your TH-cam channel. Your book was the most personally influential book I have read in years. I have been recommending it to friends & people I work with. I massively relate to so much of what you speak about, and am inspired by your honesty. Actually the topic that connected the most for me was your discussion about being dependent on getting a hit of sexual affirmation from women & how you worked to change your energy. I’m definitely the female version of that and don’t like this about myself. It’s something I am actively working to change but don’t hear many people (any outside addiction recovery circles!) discuss this!
I'm hyper empathetic and it's exhausting. Everyone's issues affect me to the point that they feel like mine. I wish I could stop caring about other people. I shouldn't be mothering for people when they wouldn't give a fuck about me.
People only value things they work hard for. If you're out there being generous with your empathy, you'll find people depriving you of the appreciation you deserve simply because your empathy was free.
I hear ya, it can be
rough 🙏🏻✨
Mr. Miles,
What an insightful video you have shared with us!
I just have found your channel bc this video has got recommended to me.
It's like you have summerized most of my problems in this video. Weak boundaries, people pleasing, isolation.. All these came from unchecked empathy..
I'm quite shocked, as well as grateful for you. By articulating and sharing these ideas, I was able to recognize the problem.
Thank you!
Really thank you!
Thank you! That is wonderful to hear 🙏🏻✨
Some good thoughts thanks for sharing. I guess you may not have seen my other comment. But yes, it's best not to assume things about people without really knowing them or where they're coming from, which can happen too easily on social media culture that moves way too fast. Sometimes when I get a bit caught up in it, I then take long breaks because I can absorb too much emotionally which can be the downside of empathy or sensitivity without good boundaries or self-discipline. Overall though, as you said, empathy really is a beautiful thing especially when it's warranted. Other times it's best kept in check until more can be known about certain people, because of the manipulators out there
☺️✨🙌🏻
I don't empathise with stupid people who are clueless themselves, and never empathise too much live , maybe in retrospect but in live functions it's close to useless.
Also being good at empathizing is a skill to manipulate others cause you understand their concerns and world view and you can speak in a way that they understand you