"The social psychologist Erich Fromm first coined the term "malignant narcissism" in 1964, describing it as a "severe mental sickness" representing "the quintessence of evil"." Malignant narcissism - Wikipedia
Could I also suggest reading - "The anatomy of Human destructiveness" by Erich Fromm, where he discusses both malignant and benign aggression. In my opinion, and not very positive experience, quite informative.
Glad you mentioned this because I got stuck in the trap of the "benefit of the doubt" and my FAVORITE "looking at people AS JUSTbeing people... Don't expect too much...OR ELSE YOU ARE A DEMANDING PROBLEM! We're all human. Yay! If you don't agree with me, I'm going to call THE STACI on you!! " Unfortunately, that bad behavior that THEY LOVINGLY PROTECT has become acceptable nowadays in our so-called "GREAT Western Society." What a CLOWN SHOW show it's all turned into!
@@AZDC99 Genesis 3:15 and Psalm 58:3-5 plainly tell us what's up. There are TWO seperate seedlines on the earth. Not about skin color but about genetics.
"If you are headed to court, then understand, this is war to the narcissist...nothing and I do mean nothing is off limits" 😬 Praise God I haven't experienced this yet...but I might if I ever stop no contact with some narc people I know 😅
This is true. This is real. Listen to this multiple times and get ready. Document everything and don't ever be alone with them. Wish I knew then what I know now.
This happened to me. My ex narcissist used his affiliation with the police department to try and have me arrested. He was able to secure a TRO based on absolutely false information. Then planted empty liquor bottles in the closet. Police were called and they ascertained that I was not intoxicated nor in violation of any kind. Thankfully I had an amazing legal counsel. She advised me to never say or respond with anything I wouldn't want published on the front page of a newspaper. I never answered any texts or emails at all. Made him go off the deep end. Gray rock is the only way to deal.
Fantastic topic,I'm a victim of spousal abuse by my Narcissistic alcoholic husband,we have been married for 1 1/2 years, no kid's,I'm in the process of getting a Divorce,there should be lawyer's that specializes in narcissist abuse, so that these lawyers could be one step ahead of the narc,for the victim's sake,there should be more awareness of narcissistic abuse,tv commercials, Billboards on the freeway, ads, charity functions for for support so desperately needed, I was physically mentally financially abuse, I had to call the sheriff numerous times for help throughout our marriage,this last time gave him felony. he married me to destroy me, and everything good about me,everything I had $$$$$$, con artist is what he is.Thank you for reading this,BLESS YOU ALL ❤
5:34 That statement is brilliant! "Many times it's as if the narcissist has taken your identity and given you theirs." That sums up my toxic relationship right there. It's a violation, plain and simple.
This is exactly what he does and even in conversations/arguments with me he does this. He’s attacking and arguing with me for all of what he does and how he acts, saying that I’m doing those things when I’m not. It’s very bizarre.
@ntas4583 Absolutely! This is what the narcissist's reflection really is. A narcissist isn't so much someone who loves to look at himself in the mirror or in a pond but rather uses his target as a mirror to reflect back what he wants to see or doesn't want to see in himself. And what happens when the narc doesn't like to see what's in the mirror? He wants to break it. It's so confusing! Why this crap exists at all is beyond me. It is said that we, the empaths, are the "chosen ones" because we have more or less signed up for this spiritual trial before we were born, but I personally would like some more concrete evidence.
Stick to truth, authenticity and be the calm at the eye of the storm. U can’t control the narc or the process but u can use their evil against them - a kind of spiritual aikido ⚜️📯🔑🌈🦋
The father of my child’s mother is trying to get a harassment felony charge against me for speaking about her abuse towards us on social media. She’s a city official and I really hope that I survive all of this. I have proof of her abuse yet she claims it’s harassment and that I’m trying to defame her. She also claims that shes suffered mental and physical abuse.
Thank you for this video, I forwarded it to my attorneys and my security detail so they could have a clear understanding of what we are dealing with. You said it better than I could have. I fear for my life everyday
My mom had to go to court against my vulnerable narcissist father and it was a nightmare. My mom is actually a grandiose narcissist too but very self centered and wasn’t plotting or planning going into it. My dad was able to railroad her and portray her as the evil one. As you said, he brought up things from the past that she was deeply ashamed of (and has nothing to do with their marriage, and the only point was to humiliate her). He forced my two siblings, who were tweens, to testify. They were totally young and incapable of standing up against interrogation from his shark lawyer. It was so disgusting and evil. And the (male) judge fell for it all. Having worked in family law I saw a lot of the men who work in family courts being totally biased for men and against women. Anyway it was disgusting to watch. I will probably never get married because it was so dark, so sad, so evil... I have never seen anything like that
None of us have seen anything like it. It's shocking to know that ppl like this exist in the world. We know ppl are in prison for murder but to come face to face with this evil is a different story.
Well, my heart goes out to YOU! I’m so sorry you had to endure what you did at the time. You are a true inspiration and you speak words of wisdom. Appreciate your content very much, this was so good & useful, spot on information. Thank you and many hugs! ❤️
Even though Lady J ☺ is correct about narcs seeing you as their enemy going into a courtroom court, from my experiences...you're already their enemy once they've split you as "all bad" period
Dearest Jill, I got very upset when you described what your father did to corroborate with your ex-husband to get you... just why... to his own little girl... These people should be locked up! Thank goodness you are speaking out about this, speaking your *TRUTH! Sending you so much love and huge HUGS!!!*
I agree, thank God you got custody Jill, but know the damage caused is hard to repair. I'm going through this for the past 12 months, everything you say regarding strategies and recruiting family is true. I'm on my knees. I'm standing on God's Word that says "No weapon formed against you shall prosper and every tongue that rises against you shall be condemned, this is the heretige of the servants of the Lord..." Isaiah 54:17 💕🙏
Going though this with my dad and his second wife. I accidentally started a business and for my actions, I am being sued by him for making up BS because he thinks that as his kid my life and life's work should be his to control and dismantle/dispose of at will if it creates any sort of perceived inconvenience to him real or mostly imagined. What bothers me is how much crooked and likely illegal BS all of this has dug up regarding his life, not mine.
I know Jill's story is hard to believe. However, I've had so many similar experiences I absolutely believe her and I really appreciate her TH-cam work. They enjoy framing you. My mother did it. My first husband did it and now my soon to be ex is doing it. All they care about is winning and somehow they think they can WIN a relationship. For example my current husband will fight to the death what are common problems in a marriage. He lies, belittles, insults, rages, talks over me until I do finally react. Then he wins because its obvious that I am crazy. He has no concern for what comes after these win or die arguments. He feels great, full of glee and I'm left with the normal feelings of hurt and betrayal and he wants to go on as if nothing happened. He literally believes he can win marriage. I live 3000 miles from him because he is so damaging to my health. He's only lived with 3 women the other 2 are dead and I hope the situation doesn't kill me. I need to get a divorce, but he's an attorney and you don't want to take a lawyer to court. He is EVIL. It is a simple as that. EVIL
It's all about your reaction which is a delicacy to these serpents. Which is why God told us to "have nothing to do with them" or "from such turn away"...2 Tim 3:5 "The wicked watches the righteous and seeks to slay (smear/project/destroy) them." Psalm 37:32
Jill, Thank you for your videos. I am so sorry for the horrible treatment you had to endure. My ex has convinced my sons I am dangerous. They refuse to have contact with me. I have never even spanked my children. But I struggle with depression which I feel has been aggravated by living with a narc for 30 years. I miss my boys and pray I can be in their life someday.
Girl your story sounds just like mine and I feel everything u are saying . These people will stop at nothing to destroy us and the courts are so blind to this . Our justice system really needs to change , but untill then we must wake up to our truth . Stay strong and Detach from any emotions nessacary to win the war against this evil ! Thanks for your video !
I wish I would have known this stuff 8 years ago. My daughter is 12. We just reconnected. They went so far as to accuse my oldest son of molesting my daughter. That is the straw that broke me. Now I'm not sure how to rebuild a relationship at this point when they are still whispering in her ear. I just hope that she still feels the love I have for her.
My ex had me charged twice for things I did not do. First charge was thrown out of court. I have a hearing in July for the second one. Not good enough... then she played the victim and had me barred from the only place I could buy groceries and fuel. Still not good enough. The smear campaign she put in effect against me was never ending. Still not good enough... she had my son and I evicted from our home of 5 years. She continued calling me a stalker, that I was crazy, and so on. So seeing no end in sight I packed up and quietly retreated to the mainland. I'm narc free, and as far away from all of them as I could get. I feel like I wimped out. I stood my ground for as long as I could. But I had hundreds of people against me. It took an army to bring me down. I hope oneday I can forgive them all. One day I will. Not for them. But for me. Huge disappointment. Liar, cheat, and a thief is all she turned out to be.
my old friends and me used to warn each other about marrying a nightmare. turns out i married one. i am an attorney and it made no difference. my marriage went from a great friendship to a blah marriage. i was unprepared for her behavior even though i watch my own mother do it to my father and brothers. i thought i was marrying someone the opposite of my mother. she turned out to be my mother on steroids. and it never ended. she tried taking my son from my house. she called new girlfriends to tell them i’m crazy. and she enlisted my narc brother to help her in one of my court battles with her. its incredible that he was with me in court and was on her side. he now stalks me in Florida. and i’m convinced he learned from watching my mother and my ex wife. he saw what they did and helped them break me down allowing him to then prey on me. his victories were my failures. now i think he plans something extreme just as jill explained. something devious is coming. some days i wish i could snap fingers and disappear 😎
My god, what you went through at the hands of those monsters! My narc is a neighbour and after 4 years of bait, provocation and smears, she's ready to limp around in court playing the poor little victim. It's going to be quite an education.
They are very dangerous people. They make themselves look like the victim and the victim looks like villain. It had to take the mother leaving a two year old boy home alone and getting caught by police to show that the mom was unfit parent even though the court appointed attorney for the children thought so highly of the mother. It was interesting watching this court appointed attorney turn tail tuck quickly when the father proved he was the stable parent.
Yes. I've been there. It was horrible and sickening to see him lying to the court. My youngest daughter was afraid of him and we missed a visitation. So he filed a contempt of court against me. He actually threatened to kill my oldest daughter when she was a baby. Nobody knows him like I do. Thank god I had a protection order against him.
Wish i knew this years ago. My 60 yr old Ex hid our assets while claiming i did nothing during our 25+ years of marriage.. so i was owed nothing. All while shacking up with his 22 year old girlfriend!!!
Thank you!! Excellent, very good. I’m sorry for the horrible things you’ve had to face, but I’m thankful that you are now enlightened and able to help others. Thanks again.
Once I realize that someone I'm dealing with is a narcissist, I try my best to limit all contact to email and text messages until I can safely go no contact, anything nasty that they write can be kept for a life time. If you live in a one party consent state you can record phone calls and only you have to know that you're recording. I haven't had to go to court with a narcissist but it's almost happened, when I let them know that I had years of evidence they back off. It may still happen some time in the future, but I'll alway have my evidence that can show the hostility on their part.
Question, so the narc knows I have most evidence, but not all. Recently, I was able to back up my iPad and access the rest. I have everything now, but they don't know that. Do you think I should send them the rest? Or should I leave it be, because so far they have left me alone? (I haven't heard anything from them for a year).
@@specialtwice4975 Do nothing until the serpent slithers back to bite again. Maybe it will go elsewhere and not come back at all. If so, consider yourself blessed and enjoy the peace.
It was an ongoing nightmare! 12 yrs of legal fees, so hear ya'! Mine filed every 6 months, cost thousands! I never drank, nor did drugs, wasn't dating, a very good mother. Beware, they set you up like satan! Before a court ordered " co-parenting" session, (costing more $ ) the narc called to say the court therapist couldn't see us that week due to Christmas travel. I foolishly believed the narc, was relieved! Days later, the court therapist called me while at a grocery store, threatening that I was " in contempt of court" , saying I was a " liar and manipulator" for NOT attending the co-parenting session that day! He said the NARC WAS THERE, but he'd report ME to the court!? I tried to defend myself frantically, in shock that I was set up! I knew nothing about the corrupt court system then, or NARCS! The therapist then wrote a two page report saying I was a liar, manipulator and failed to show up. Ugh ME?? So beware of their DEMONIC set ups. It's now decades later and the narc always thanks me for raising a great person and for being a great mom. They get "Narc amnesia". He's also working on wife #4. No one can find #3!
Thanks Jill. It's just ... indescribably terrible 😡😭 I'm glad I decided to make the most of the time I have left & not to go to court. We refer to it as the legal system rather than justice system now. It can only get better???!!! I hope in the future targets will be treated better than you & many others are/were.. Love Theresa
Great lessons! Keep it up! When planning to court first comes your safety, then safety of your children, then your valuables eg passport document.....etc.
What you're describing is a typical battle in court with strategies and schemes. Are you expecting the other side to just bow out and give you the win? When you file divorce against someone you are suing them and you need to expect the other side to slash back with every weapon. You have attacked them. They will counter-attack. Remember, in the old days, a "trial" was a literal swordfight.
Every last thing you’ve laid out in this video is what I try to explain to my friends would happen if I went forward with serving him. I’d be descended upon like Tippie Hedron in Hitchcock’s “THE BIRDS,” by him and his entire cult family, THEE FLYING MONKEYS INCARNATE! I stay to protect my kid until he’s legal and custody is off the table. Then it’s just the financials, which will be enough of a dirty laundry nightmare! Prayers to all who are struggling, and Jill, you are my hero. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story with us all. Be healthy and happy, always, dear lady, you sure as heck have earned only the best!!
I went through this exact same court experience with a narcissist ex gf who was a teacher colleague. If I told you the circumstances under which she brought me to court, you would never believe me. Barely any live being supported me so over the course of the last 4 years, I dropped every single friend, going back to college years. Btw, My court experience was Complete with flying monkeys. Judge was also a narc who had been recently fired from next county over (due to cruelty.) It;s a testimony to God’s Kingdom on earth she and her friends are still alive after what they did to me. Because I’m planning on hanging out with Jesus when I’m done here 🙏
You've nailed it. I've watched other vids about narcissist abuse my ex in the beginning of court proceedings he was stalking and harassing myself threats of violence towards myself and our children admitted to harrassment I managed to record the behavior accept they only used one auto recording and pics and some texts I'm talking in criminal court. My lawyer I have thought we could negotiate basically it ended up being a waste of time he didn't agree to anything. I very sure I'm dealing with a malignant and sociopath he's all of the above I changed my number 3 times and locks a few times as well got him removed from the lease when he was arrested. They asked about the terms the police I said I wanted him removed from our place it had turned toxic. I'm going to trail against him he hasn't paid any child support and he's aware he owes money actually It's 8000 around that number It's been 4 yrs and won't take them to doctors or dentists appointments. I have one document of him stating it ,but the court isn't taking anything seriously I'm going with all proof I have against him new and all the facts. My lawyer has no idea what she's up against me and my ex basically had no contact until recently drop offs were through another party Unless there not available and only remaining contact is email I refuse to give my number again he was giving out my number and my parents number without our consent on numerous occasions. From the beginning he has alienating our children brainwashing telling our child that she's going to high school I don't consent and probably never will. He lied to our children and his gf about what really happened I'm not allowed to say anything towards the children, but yet he's allowed? I'm amazed he's gotten away with his behavior. I have in emails that he has lied about things the children have told me they were left alone for a day my daughter was under 10 at the time and our son was 6. The children also told me he gave alcohol I don't know how much I was told it was rum and coke one is almost 12 the other is almost 9. He lied about both facts I it in email which I'm bringing everything to court I'm going to trail I just don't know when there's no co parenting he's decisions regarding the children without my consent. I'm told I'm stuck in shared custody against him ge doesn't care the damage he continues to do towards our children. On his weeks there's no homework that ever gets done the kids almost failed last yr my parents stepped in and have been a wonderful support I work evenings like 5 evenings a week my parents have them on my weeks. I'm trying to put myself through school I work in healthcare I don't want to be stuck there the rest of my life I wanted to have another degree under my belt and have options. The situation is beyond nasty on his side he has lied in court in the past he accused me of false allegations which none is true he basically wants revenge at any costs I'm the villain. I've got my boxing gloves on my lawyer has no idea what we're in for he will not play fair not even close. I basically don't want anything to do with him he's done so much damage. I don't trust anything he has to say hes turned into a pathological liar I know he has high conflict personality disorder. Other vids say I'm not supposed to call him a narcissist I'm to get a counselor to come to trail. I want the court to understand there can't be any direct contact it end up in fights I can prove it in emails I'm not going to be next him for doctor or dentists appointments It's been myself and my parents at the appointments. We can not co parent It's not in the best interest of the children for us to have to have any contact when it's so high conflict. I will never agree to it.
It isn't stopping there I don't have a lawyer hes dragging me to court I won't talk without a lawyer I'm going Monday I'm postponing hes trying to piss me off I'm the victim of abuse It's a trap hes trying to frame me and some how got the evidence I have on him and he'll use it against me hes complete lunatic I know It's calculated and he's cold and calculated very he can come off as calm he's done all the above I blocked and changed my number 3 times he's a maliquent It's unbelievable
More of an update I'm going to trail got hopefully a new lawyer 😬. I went to court yesterday his lawyer didn't go to court was on zoom when I asked for a postponement I got acussed of being abusive a major Sleeze lawyer playing dirty tried to pick fights with me the first judge told him off the lawyer of my ex he also didn't want to give a extension there's documents that weren't filed also the kids don't have a lawyer and don't know the real truth they have been alienated on his side I'm not allowed to say anything about him bad or truth it's not right I've been in this battle 4 yrs plus I have the documents the judge asked for long story his lawyer lied about him going through the communication workshop I went through it ,but it wasn't filed by my past couple lawyers I need one that understands abuse I also spoke out and told them I'm the victim of abuse the judge finally understood what has been going on. The second judge told off his lawyer and called him on his bs it was great I only responded when spoken 2. It's all about the money for his side and all the lies and vindictive behavior on his side the judge doesn't want to hear it she'll grant me the divorce I have all my papers there's no setting it will be sign papers the matter is dealt with lol finally after yrs cross your fingers next battle trail after this for custody he's not going to win I'm reorganizing my binders and making sure it's very organized with a lot of facts Emotionally he's attacking myself in and out of court it's a game to them of chess not a worthy opponent I will be careful what I put on the table for court with a lawyer
My ex husband got my son against me! He had no voice so he chose the parent with all the power! I responded poorly to the set up narcissistic attacks and my son saw that! My son is a narcissist now at the age of 23 and my family is less than! He wouldn't even be there for his grandfather's death! He said he cant deal with his emotions and he went grocery shopping! He cant admit any wrong doing! If I show him anger by what he did to his grandfather, I am told that if I don't get my act together, I will never see him or his future grandchildren ever again! If I say something to that, there is a rebuttal coming!
15yrs of experience in court with my 1rst ex narc taught me that going in with the truth will get you out of trouble. Never place a motion against her all the records show only all the lies she tried to make so i could be behind bars but no luck on that. Always came out fine being a responsible person paying my taxes and staying put of trouble. Expresing love to my 2 boys regardless the time she took away from me my two boys save my butt telling the social workers the truth. That I love them and that I care for them. Dont care what she says.
My mom is like that. She’s tried to turn my own son against me & has tried to get everyone in the family against me & has even lied on me to the feds & has tried to get me into trouble.
Hearing your story makes me very sad! The fact you got through your ordeal gives me hope! In my case, I’m not contesting to anything she wants! I’m just happy to get away with my life! Solitude and no contact is how I’m healing from my marriage with Satans granddaughter!
Ive experience just what she is speaking about, it's wrecked my life, my mother has been my ex-wife informant all over my daughter being mauled with them, my ex has made many false police reports in the past then came to my house with her husband and jump on me then filed a police report filled with lies after going to jail two years on Cort losing my daughter and everything I've wondered for, the case was dismissed, but now I'm broke and the police force thinks I'm some big drug dealer, Then why am I broke as a stick, why did I live two years without water and electricity, if I'm a drug dealer, but the law hates me even though I showed them where she is a lier, and so much more. I need a lawyer but I'm broke
Oh my gosh! You've endured a lot of pain and fortunately have come out of it wiser and stronger than ever. I can only say that what you went through in court many of us also endure in our day-to-day lives with a narcissist, as you know. In-or-out of court, the narcissist wants to destroy us while they derive enormous negative supply from their plots. They get stronger while hoping we get weaker. But forewarned is forearmed, and your real life, upfront, and in-your-face video provides a treasure trove of insight into what to lookout for in any high-conflict relationship with a malignant egomaniac.
My brother joined the nex to harm me and my sons. He’s deep in the qnon rabbit hole and hates women, POC, LGBQT, etc. My nmother was proud that her son is so helpful. That was all she had to say after a year no contact. The court imposed a 3 year restraining order on the nex which my family refused to acknowledge. My sisters say I have to accept who they both are and not trigger them. As always, it’s the family scapegoat that must be put in her place by any means necessary. I’m now no contact with the entire family of origin and am in another country.
What to do when the narcissist you're trying to divorce is also a lawyer and you are 3.5 years in and $180,000 in debt to divorce attorneys and NO closer to divorce????? He will drag this out till I'm financially ruined.
@@judyscheiber3661 I think I was married one for 12 years but Alessandra there but I can’t tell for certain I do know that when she left after 12 years. SheWent to a undisclosed new address with her two kids my former step kids ,It’s aggravating though because I still can’t find any evidence of cheating and I have been quite the aggressor in vetting everybody that should know something
Sizing up the people in the courtroom including the Judge is extremely important, a real judge will protect his own immunity by starting the session by saying something to this effect, before we being to address the concerns of the plaintiff and the defendant, placing those concerns aside, are there any conflicts of interest that need to be addressed, if the judge fails to say this, the conflicts are present and the best thing you can do for yourself as the plaintiff is dismiss your action or if you are the defendant say little, in either position watch the interactions between the people in the courtroom. Educate yourself on conflicts of interest. An attorney is required to dismiss themselves from a case where they know there is currently a conflict or there is a potential for a conflict, when they do not do this on their own, they can be sued, but the challenge is finding both a court that will here the case and an attorney that will represent you. Examples of Conflicts of Interest, a law firm with partners represents a man in a bankruptcy case where he is relieved of the debt and the debt is pushed on the coborrower, later that same law firm is retained by the same court that allowed the bankruptcy petition to be filed and they now represent the children involved where they children are removed from the home using a cps report. Even if counsel is assigned, the attorney must provide client rights and privileges along with a copy of the agreement between the parties, this acknowledgment must be filed with the court before any action is called before the court, absent of these steps, there is no immunity for the judge for failing to protect the people involved, even if they are his or her friends.
Sorry but your dad needs to wake up and get help. Your his little girl. What the he'll is wrong with him. I have been set up and made to look bad with lies. It's taken many years to start feeling good about myself and welcomed my son's love back into my life. Yes the lies can destroy you and make you give up. Stay 💪.
Be prepared! 5 % is strategy and 95% attitude. Stay strong and be confident.
The only way in dealing with a narc is no contact. This is never going to get better. Narcissism has no cure.
"The social psychologist Erich Fromm first coined the term "malignant narcissism" in 1964, describing it as a "severe mental sickness" representing "the quintessence of evil"."
Malignant narcissism - Wikipedia
Could I also suggest reading - "The anatomy of Human destructiveness" by Erich Fromm, where he discusses both malignant and benign aggression. In my opinion, and not very positive experience, quite informative.
@@ryandonaldson8403 ~ Gotta check that out...
Glad you mentioned this because I got stuck in the trap of the "benefit of the doubt" and my FAVORITE "looking at people AS JUSTbeing people... Don't expect too much...OR ELSE YOU ARE A DEMANDING PROBLEM! We're all human. Yay! If you don't agree with me, I'm going to call THE STACI on you!! " Unfortunately, that bad behavior that THEY LOVINGLY PROTECT has become acceptable nowadays in our so-called "GREAT Western Society." What a CLOWN SHOW show it's all turned into!
@Snow Flakes The real reason they are not taught about is because our entire system is controlled by psychopaths. Especially the public Fool System.
@@AZDC99 Genesis 3:15 and Psalm 58:3-5 plainly tell us what's up. There are TWO seperate seedlines on the earth. Not about skin color but about genetics.
We are going to get victory over the narcissist sooner or later because light always defeats dark ✌🏻
Sometimes but not always.
@@huko4266 victory is not necessary what we think. Anyway it’s your opinion.
@@precioussoul7128 - the only victory is found within.
Amen!!!!
Lol- no victory: only survival…
"If you are headed to court, then understand, this is war to the narcissist...nothing and I do mean nothing is off limits" 😬
Praise God I haven't experienced this yet...but I might if I ever stop no contact with some narc people I know 😅
Yes, they are very vindictive people and would stop at nothing in their quest to destroy you once you're onto them.
This is true. This is real. Listen to this multiple times and get ready. Document everything and don't ever be alone with them. Wish I knew then what I know now.
This happened to me. My ex narcissist used his affiliation with the police department to try and have me arrested. He was able to secure a TRO based on absolutely false information. Then planted empty liquor bottles in the closet. Police were called and they ascertained that I was not intoxicated nor in violation of any kind. Thankfully I had an amazing legal counsel. She advised me to never say or respond with anything I wouldn't want published on the front page of a newspaper. I never answered any texts or emails at all. Made him go off the deep end. Gray rock is the only way to deal.
They're not people and don't even feel human or animal, for that matter. I'm cringing from the uncanny valley effect, they give me so many creeps.
they're demon possessed
Fantastic topic,I'm a victim of spousal abuse by my Narcissistic alcoholic husband,we have been married for 1 1/2 years, no kid's,I'm in the process of getting a Divorce,there should be lawyer's that specializes in narcissist abuse, so that these lawyers could be one step ahead of the narc,for the victim's sake,there should be more awareness of narcissistic abuse,tv commercials, Billboards on the freeway, ads, charity functions for for support so desperately needed, I was physically mentally financially abuse, I had to call the sheriff numerous times for help throughout our marriage,this last time gave him felony. he married me to destroy me, and everything good about me,everything I had $$$$$$, con artist is what he is.Thank you for reading this,BLESS YOU ALL ❤
5:34 That statement is brilliant! "Many times it's as if the narcissist has taken your identity and given you theirs." That sums up my toxic relationship right there. It's a violation, plain and simple.
This is exactly what he does and even in conversations/arguments with me he does this. He’s attacking and arguing with me for all of what he does and how he acts, saying that I’m doing those things when I’m not. It’s very bizarre.
@ntas4583 Absolutely! This is what the narcissist's reflection really is. A narcissist isn't so much someone who loves to look at himself in the mirror or in a pond but rather uses his target as a mirror to reflect back what he wants to see or doesn't want to see in himself. And what happens when the narc doesn't like to see what's in the mirror? He wants to break it. It's so confusing! Why this crap exists at all is beyond me. It is said that we, the empaths, are the "chosen ones" because we have more or less signed up for this spiritual trial before we were born, but I personally would like some more concrete evidence.
Stick to truth, authenticity and be the calm at the eye of the storm. U can’t control the narc or the process but u can use their evil against them - a kind of spiritual aikido ⚜️📯🔑🌈🦋
The father of my child’s mother is trying to get a harassment felony charge against me for speaking about her abuse towards us on social media. She’s a city official and I really hope that I survive all of this. I have proof of her abuse yet she claims it’s harassment and that I’m trying to defame her. She also claims that shes suffered mental and physical abuse.
Shitting myself.going to court tomorrow. Thankyou for the advice
Thank you for this video, I forwarded it to my attorneys and my security detail so they could have a clear understanding of what we are dealing with. You said it better than I could have. I fear for my life everyday
Amazing... my ex-wife has done everything you just listed.
My mom had to go to court against my vulnerable narcissist father and it was a nightmare. My mom is actually a grandiose narcissist too but very self centered and wasn’t plotting or planning going into it. My dad was able to railroad her and portray her as the evil one. As you said, he brought up things from the past that she was deeply ashamed of (and has nothing to do with their marriage, and the only point was to humiliate her). He forced my two siblings, who were tweens, to testify. They were totally young and incapable of standing up against interrogation from his shark lawyer. It was so disgusting and evil. And the (male) judge fell for it all. Having worked in family law I saw a lot of the men who work in family courts being totally biased for men and against women. Anyway it was disgusting to watch. I will probably never get married because it was so dark, so sad, so evil... I have never seen anything like that
None of us have seen anything like it. It's shocking to know that ppl like this exist in the world. We know ppl are in prison for murder but to come face to face with this evil is a different story.
Well, my heart goes out to YOU! I’m so sorry you had to endure what you did at the time. You are a true inspiration and you speak words of wisdom. Appreciate your content very much, this was so good & useful, spot on information. Thank you and many hugs! ❤️
Even though Lady J ☺ is correct about narcs seeing you as their enemy going into a courtroom court, from my experiences...you're already their enemy once they've split you as "all bad" period
Very true. Good point.
Dearest Jill, I got very upset when you described what your father did to corroborate with your ex-husband to get you... just why... to his own little girl... These people should be locked up! Thank goodness you are speaking out about this, speaking your *TRUTH! Sending you so much love and huge HUGS!!!*
I agree, thank God you got custody Jill, but know the damage caused is hard to repair. I'm going through this for the past 12 months, everything you say regarding strategies and recruiting family is true. I'm on my knees. I'm standing on God's Word that says "No weapon formed against you shall prosper and every tongue that rises against you shall be condemned, this is the heretige of the servants of the Lord..." Isaiah 54:17 💕🙏
My parents did that with my first husband and he was violent. They were really upset when I divorced him! They always liked him more than they did me.
@@kathleenreardon8943 Sending ❤️
Going though this with my dad and his second wife. I accidentally started a business and for my actions, I am being sued by him for making up BS because he thinks that as his kid my life and life's work should be his to control and dismantle/dispose of at will if it creates any sort of perceived inconvenience to him real or mostly imagined.
What bothers me is how much crooked and likely illegal BS all of this has dug up regarding his life, not mine.
I am glad you had courage at the end and spread the message to the world.
I hope you can be grateful that you are still alive.
I know Jill's story is hard to believe. However, I've had so many similar experiences I absolutely believe her and I really appreciate her TH-cam work. They enjoy framing you. My mother did it. My first husband did it and now my soon to be ex is doing it. All they care about is winning and somehow they think they can WIN a relationship. For example my current husband will fight to the death what are common problems in a marriage. He lies, belittles, insults, rages, talks over me until I do finally react. Then he wins because its obvious that I am crazy. He has no concern for what comes after these win or die arguments. He feels great, full of glee and I'm left with the normal feelings of hurt and betrayal and he wants to go on as if nothing happened. He literally believes he can win marriage. I live 3000 miles from him because he is so damaging to my health. He's only lived with 3 women the other 2 are dead and I hope the situation doesn't kill me. I need to get a divorce, but he's an attorney and you don't want to take a lawyer to court. He is EVIL. It is a simple as that. EVIL
It's all about your reaction which is a delicacy to these serpents. Which is why God told us to "have nothing to do with them" or "from such turn away"...2 Tim 3:5 "The wicked watches the righteous and seeks to slay (smear/project/destroy) them." Psalm 37:32
Jill,
Thank you for your videos. I am so sorry for the horrible treatment you had to endure.
My ex has convinced my sons I am dangerous. They refuse to have contact with me. I have never even spanked my children. But I struggle with depression which I feel has been aggravated by living with a narc for 30 years. I miss my boys and pray I can be in their life someday.
Mine did as well. Told them I was crazy. Parental alienation. I watched him do it for decades. It worked.
Girl your story sounds just like mine and I feel everything u are saying . These people will stop at nothing to destroy us and the courts are so blind to this . Our justice system really needs to change , but untill then we must wake up to our truth . Stay strong and Detach from any emotions nessacary to win the war against this evil ! Thanks for your video !
I wish I would have known this stuff 8 years ago. My daughter is 12. We just reconnected. They went so far as to accuse my oldest son of molesting my daughter. That is the straw that broke me. Now I'm not sure how to rebuild a relationship at this point when they are still whispering in her ear. I just hope that she still feels the love I have for her.
My ex had me charged twice for things I did not do. First charge was thrown out of court. I have a hearing in July for the second one. Not good enough... then she played the victim and had me barred from the only place I could buy groceries and fuel. Still not good enough. The smear campaign she put in effect against me was never ending. Still not good enough... she had my son and I evicted from our home of 5 years. She continued calling me a stalker, that I was crazy, and so on. So seeing no end in sight I packed up and quietly retreated to the mainland. I'm narc free, and as far away from all of them as I could get. I feel like I wimped out. I stood my ground for as long as I could. But I had hundreds of people against me. It took an army to bring me down. I hope oneday I can forgive them all. One day I will. Not for them. But for me. Huge disappointment. Liar, cheat, and a thief is all she turned out to be.
my old friends and me used to warn each other about marrying a nightmare. turns out i married one. i am an attorney and it made no difference. my marriage went from a great friendship to a blah marriage.
i was unprepared for her behavior even though i watch my own mother do it to my father and brothers.
i thought i was marrying someone the opposite of my mother. she turned out to be my mother on steroids. and it never ended. she tried taking my son from my house. she called new girlfriends to tell them i’m crazy. and she enlisted my narc brother to help her in one of my court battles with her.
its incredible that he was with me in court and was on her side. he now stalks me in Florida. and i’m convinced he learned from watching my mother and my ex wife.
he saw what they did and helped them break me down allowing him to then prey on me. his victories were my failures.
now i think he plans something extreme just as jill explained. something devious is coming.
some days i wish i could snap fingers and disappear 😎
🙏🏾🕊God bless you and so sorry you endured all of that madness.. nothing worse than the narcissist smear campaigns and flying🐒 assists..
My god, what you went through at the hands of those monsters! My narc is a neighbour and after 4 years of bait, provocation and smears, she's ready to limp around in court playing the poor little victim. It's going to be quite an education.
They are very dangerous people. They make themselves look like the victim and the victim looks like villain. It had to take the mother leaving a two year old boy home alone and getting caught by police to show that the mom was unfit parent even though the court appointed attorney for the children thought so highly of the mother. It was interesting watching this court appointed attorney turn tail tuck quickly when the father proved he was the stable parent.
Jill, I’m so sorry to hear of your experiences.
Yes. I've been there. It was horrible and sickening to see him lying to the court. My youngest daughter was afraid of him and we missed a visitation. So he filed a contempt of court against me. He actually threatened to kill my oldest daughter when she was a baby. Nobody knows him like I do. Thank god I had a protection order against him.
Wish i knew this years ago. My 60 yr old Ex hid our assets while claiming i did nothing during our 25+ years of marriage.. so i was owed nothing. All while shacking up with his 22 year old girlfriend!!!
Thank you!! Excellent, very good. I’m sorry for the horrible things you’ve had to face, but I’m thankful that you are now enlightened and able to help others. Thanks again.
Once I realize that someone I'm dealing with is a narcissist, I try my best to limit all contact to email and text messages until I can safely go no contact, anything nasty that they write can be kept for a life time. If you live in a one party consent state you can record phone calls and only you have to know that you're recording. I haven't had to go to court with a narcissist but it's almost happened, when I let them know that I had years of evidence they back off. It may still happen some time in the future, but I'll alway have my evidence that can show the hostility on their part.
Question, so the narc knows I have most evidence, but not all. Recently, I was able to back up my iPad and access the rest. I have everything now, but they don't know that. Do you think I should send them the rest? Or should I leave it be, because so far they have left me alone? (I haven't heard anything from them for a year).
@@specialtwice4975 Do nothing until the serpent slithers back to bite again. Maybe it will go elsewhere and not come back at all. If so, consider yourself blessed and enjoy the peace.
Been going through this for almost 2 years now. The is no lie too big or too obvious for them to tell.
It was an ongoing nightmare! 12 yrs of legal fees, so hear ya'! Mine filed every 6 months, cost thousands! I never drank, nor did drugs, wasn't dating, a very good mother. Beware, they set you up like satan! Before a court ordered " co-parenting" session, (costing more $ ) the narc called to say the court therapist couldn't see us that week due to Christmas travel. I foolishly believed the narc, was relieved! Days later, the court therapist called me while at a grocery store, threatening that I was " in contempt of court" , saying I was a " liar and manipulator" for NOT attending the co-parenting session that day! He said the NARC WAS THERE, but he'd report ME to the court!? I tried to defend myself frantically, in shock that I was set up! I knew nothing about the corrupt court system then, or NARCS! The therapist then wrote a two page report saying I was a liar, manipulator and failed to show up. Ugh ME?? So beware of their DEMONIC set ups. It's now decades later and the narc always thanks me for raising a great person and for being a great mom. They get "Narc amnesia". He's also working on wife #4. No one can find #3!
Thanks Jill. It's just ... indescribably terrible 😡😭 I'm glad I decided to make the most of the time I have left & not to go to court. We refer to it as the legal system rather than justice system now. It can only get better???!!! I hope in the future targets will be treated better than you & many others are/were.. Love Theresa
You are awesome ma'am
Those vicious, conniving narcissists
Thank you for the tips. How does one become a narcissistic abuse recovery coach ?
You could not be more right!
Great lessons! Keep it up! When planning to court first comes your safety, then safety of your children, then your valuables eg passport document.....etc.
Excellent insight as usual.
What you're describing is a typical battle in court with strategies and schemes. Are you expecting the other side to just bow out and give you the win? When you file divorce against someone you are suing them and you need to expect the other side to slash back with every weapon. You have attacked them. They will counter-attack. Remember, in the old days, a "trial" was a literal swordfight.
Thank You
Every last thing you’ve laid out in this video is what I try to explain to my friends would happen if I went forward with serving him. I’d be descended upon like Tippie Hedron in Hitchcock’s “THE BIRDS,” by him and his entire cult family, THEE FLYING MONKEYS INCARNATE! I stay to protect my kid until he’s legal and custody is off the table. Then it’s just the financials, which will be enough of a dirty laundry nightmare! Prayers to all who are struggling, and Jill, you are my hero. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story with us all. Be healthy and happy, always, dear lady, you sure as heck have earned only the best!!
I went through this exact same court experience with a narcissist ex gf who was a teacher colleague. If I told you the circumstances under which she brought me to court, you would never believe me.
Barely any live being supported me so over the course of the last 4 years, I dropped every single friend, going back to college years.
Btw, My court experience was Complete with flying monkeys. Judge was also a narc who had been recently fired from next county over (due to cruelty.)
It;s a testimony to God’s Kingdom on earth she and her friends are still alive after what they did to me. Because I’m planning on hanging out with Jesus when I’m done here 🙏
Thankyou so much
Thank you Jill
You've nailed it. I've watched other vids about narcissist abuse my ex in the beginning of court proceedings he was stalking and harassing myself threats of violence towards myself and our children admitted to harrassment I managed to record the behavior accept they only used one auto recording and pics and some texts I'm talking in criminal court. My lawyer I have thought we could negotiate basically it ended up being a waste of time he didn't agree to anything. I very sure I'm dealing with a malignant and sociopath he's all of the above I changed my number 3 times and locks a few times as well got him removed from the lease when he was arrested. They asked about the terms the police I said I wanted him removed from our place it had turned toxic. I'm going to trail against him he hasn't paid any child support and he's aware he owes money actually It's 8000 around that number It's been 4 yrs and won't take them to doctors or dentists appointments. I have one document of him stating it ,but the court isn't taking anything seriously I'm going with all proof I have against him new and all the facts. My lawyer has no idea what she's up against me and my ex basically had no contact until recently drop offs were through another party Unless there not available and only remaining contact is email I refuse to give my number again he was giving out my number and my parents number without our consent on numerous occasions. From the beginning he has alienating our children brainwashing telling our child that she's going to high school I don't consent and probably never will. He lied to our children and his gf about what really happened I'm not allowed to say anything towards the children, but yet he's allowed? I'm amazed he's gotten away with his behavior. I have in emails that he has lied about things the children have told me they were left alone for a day my daughter was under 10 at the time and our son was 6. The children also told me he gave alcohol I don't know how much I was told it was rum and coke one is almost 12 the other is almost 9. He lied about both facts I it in email which I'm bringing everything to court I'm going to trail I just don't know when there's no co parenting he's decisions regarding the children without my consent. I'm told I'm stuck in shared custody against him ge doesn't care the damage he continues to do towards our children. On his weeks there's no homework that ever gets done the kids almost failed last yr my parents stepped in and have been a wonderful support I work evenings like 5 evenings a week my parents have them on my weeks. I'm trying to put myself through school I work in healthcare I don't want to be stuck there the rest of my life I wanted to have another degree under my belt and have options. The situation is beyond nasty on his side he has lied in court in the past he accused me of false allegations which none is true he basically wants revenge at any costs I'm the villain. I've got my boxing gloves on my lawyer has no idea what we're in for he will not play fair not even close. I basically don't want anything to do with him he's done so much damage. I don't trust anything he has to say hes turned into a pathological liar I know he has high conflict personality disorder. Other vids say I'm not supposed to call him a narcissist I'm to get a counselor to come to trail. I want the court to understand there can't be any direct contact it end up in fights I can prove it in emails I'm not going to be next him for doctor or dentists appointments It's been myself and my parents at the appointments. We can not co parent It's not in the best interest of the children for us to have to have any contact when it's so high conflict. I will never agree to it.
It isn't stopping there I don't have a lawyer hes dragging me to court I won't talk without a lawyer I'm going Monday I'm postponing hes trying to piss me off I'm the victim of abuse It's a trap hes trying to frame me and some how got the evidence I have on him and he'll use it against me hes complete lunatic I know It's calculated and he's cold and calculated very he can come off as calm he's done all the above I blocked and changed my number 3 times he's a maliquent It's unbelievable
More of an update I'm going to trail got hopefully a new lawyer 😬. I went to court yesterday his lawyer didn't go to court was on zoom when I asked for a postponement I got acussed of being abusive a major Sleeze lawyer playing dirty tried to pick fights with me the first judge told him off the lawyer of my ex he also didn't want to give a extension there's documents that weren't filed also the kids don't have a lawyer and don't know the real truth they have been alienated on his side I'm not allowed to say anything about him bad or truth it's not right I've been in this battle 4 yrs plus I have the documents the judge asked for long story his lawyer lied about him going through the communication workshop I went through it ,but it wasn't filed by my past couple lawyers I need one that understands abuse I also spoke out and told them I'm the victim of abuse the judge finally understood what has been going on. The second judge told off his lawyer and called him on his bs it was great I only responded when spoken 2. It's all about the money for his side and all the lies and vindictive behavior on his side the judge doesn't want to hear it she'll grant me the divorce I have all my papers there's no setting it will be sign papers the matter is dealt with lol finally after yrs cross your fingers next battle trail after this for custody he's not going to win I'm reorganizing my binders and making sure it's very organized with a lot of facts Emotionally he's attacking myself in and out of court it's a game to them of chess not a worthy opponent I will be careful what I put on the table for court with a lawyer
I went to court 14 years ago, he started lieing from start to finish. He won and took the house from me. He is in prison now.
@@kynathomas4809 exactly, I didn't realise what was going on until I looked up the word narcissist, I then realised I was living it.
He’s in prison now. Wow awesome
@@simplykoko9033 he is out of prison and wants me back. No way!
thanks
I have experienced what she spoke about except it is at work. I think people need to get away and create a good life for themselves
My ex husband got my son against me! He had no voice so he chose the parent with all the power! I responded poorly to the set up narcissistic attacks and my son saw that! My son is a narcissist now at the age of 23 and my family is less than! He wouldn't even be there for his grandfather's death! He said he cant deal with his emotions and he went grocery shopping! He cant admit any wrong doing! If I show him anger by what he did to his grandfather, I am told that if I don't get my act together, I will never see him or his future grandchildren ever again! If I say something to that, there is a rebuttal coming!
Lawyer, Rebecca Zung has. TH-cam channel on this subject. Also, there is a book called Splitting.
15yrs of experience in court with my 1rst ex narc taught me that going in with the truth will get you out of trouble. Never place a motion against her all the records show only all the lies she tried to make so i could be behind bars but no luck on that. Always came out fine being a responsible person paying my taxes and staying put of trouble. Expresing love to my 2 boys regardless the time she took away from me my two boys save my butt telling the social workers the truth. That I love them and that I care for them. Dont care what she says.
Spot on sister.
Excellent information! Thank you!
My mom is like that. She’s tried to turn my own son against me & has tried to get everyone in the family against me & has even lied on me to the feds & has tried to get me into trouble.
Thank you for this video Jill ❤…yes heading to court in three weeks! I would love to book a session with you, as soon as I can afford to do so?
Great video! Thank you for sharing this information. Bless you! ♥️🙏
thank you so much for the great advice
Hearing your story makes me very sad! The fact you got through your ordeal gives me hope! In my case, I’m not contesting to anything she wants! I’m just happy to get away with my life! Solitude and no contact is how I’m healing from my marriage with Satans granddaughter!
Ive experience just what she is speaking about, it's wrecked my life, my mother has been my ex-wife informant all over my daughter being mauled with them, my ex has made many false police reports in the past then came to my house with her husband and jump on me then filed a police report filled with lies after going to jail two years on Cort losing my daughter and everything I've wondered for, the case was dismissed, but now I'm broke and the police force thinks I'm some big drug dealer,
Then why am I broke as a stick, why did I live two years without water and electricity, if I'm a drug dealer, but the law hates me even though I showed them where she is a lier, and so much more. I need a lawyer but I'm broke
Absolutely brilliant, I live your stuff!👍🙏✝️💙
15 yrs... Crazy.
Oh my gosh! You've endured a lot of pain and fortunately have come out of it wiser and stronger than ever. I can only say that what you went through in court many of us also endure in our day-to-day lives with a narcissist, as you know. In-or-out of court, the narcissist wants to destroy us while they derive enormous negative supply from their plots. They get stronger while hoping we get weaker. But forewarned is forearmed, and your real life, upfront, and in-your-face video provides a treasure trove of insight into what to lookout for in any high-conflict relationship with a malignant egomaniac.
Nothing short of evil!
It is as if you were me. This is insane and so unfair.
What is your advice for a deposition in a divorce? Any advice? Maybe you can make a video about this
My brother joined the nex to harm me and my sons. He’s deep in the qnon rabbit hole and hates women, POC, LGBQT, etc. My nmother was proud that her son is so helpful. That was all she had to say after a year no contact. The court imposed a 3 year restraining order on the nex which my family refused to acknowledge. My sisters say I have to accept who they both are and not trigger them. As always, it’s the family scapegoat that must be put in her place by any means necessary. I’m now no contact with the entire family of origin and am in another country.
What to do when the narcissist you're trying to divorce is also a lawyer and you are 3.5 years in and $180,000 in debt to divorce attorneys and NO closer to divorce????? He will drag this out till I'm financially ruined.
Where can I go to get you as a therapist
I offer private recovery coaching. I’ll link my website here if you’d like to schedule a session with me:
payhip.com/TheEnlightenedTarget
This incredibly disheartening because this is my future
Demons nothing but demons
Any. Advice. Openly. And willing. He is. A nacisstic
Oh how I wish i could have you as a lawyer. Lol not lol. I wish i had know all this 13yrs ago.
You scared me because it’s true
How about a covert narcissist?
Coverts are the worst, because they pretend to be “good” people (I.e., Religious, social worker, teacher, etc) in disguise.
@@bmoremom8458 oh wow ! That’s scary
@@judyscheiber3661 dang ! That’s scary 😦- I am suspicious that I myself might be dealing with narcissists in my own life
@@judyscheiber3661 I think I was married one for 12 years but Alessandra there but I can’t tell for certain I do know that when she left after 12 years. SheWent to a undisclosed new address with her two kids my former step kids ,It’s aggravating though because I still can’t find any evidence of cheating and I have been quite the aggressor in vetting everybody that should know something
😔❤️
Iam. A woman. Going to court. Now. Its. Domestic
👍
Karma wl follow them...Being liars...they cd go to any extent to cheat ...
Hahahahaj you’re funny.
Sizing up the people in the courtroom including the Judge is extremely important, a real judge will protect his own immunity by starting the session by saying something to this effect, before we being to address the concerns of the plaintiff and the defendant, placing those concerns aside, are there any conflicts of interest that need to be addressed, if the judge fails to say this, the conflicts are present and the best thing you can do for yourself as the plaintiff is dismiss your action or if you are the defendant say little, in either position watch the interactions between the people in the courtroom. Educate yourself on conflicts of interest. An attorney is required to dismiss themselves from a case where they know there is currently a conflict or there is a potential for a conflict, when they do not do this on their own, they can be sued, but the challenge is finding both a court that will here the case and an attorney that will represent you. Examples of Conflicts of Interest, a law firm with partners represents a man in a bankruptcy case where he is relieved of the debt and the debt is pushed on the coborrower, later that same law firm is retained by the same court that allowed the bankruptcy petition to be filed and they now represent the children involved where they children are removed from the home using a cps report. Even if counsel is assigned, the attorney must provide client rights and privileges along with a copy of the agreement between the parties, this acknowledgment must be filed with the court before any action is called before the court, absent of these steps, there is no immunity for the judge for failing to protect the people involved, even if they are his or her friends.
And your kids,... ha ha ha 😉👍
Sorry but your dad needs to wake up and get help. Your his little girl. What the he'll is wrong with him. I have been set up and made to look bad with lies. It's taken many years to start feeling good about myself and welcomed my son's love back into my life. Yes the lies can destroy you and make you give up. Stay 💪.