Growing up between cultures | My TCK story
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ม.ค. 2024
- I grew up around the world and never know what to reply to "where are you from?". Today I am sharing a bit of my international culture and background with you today - where I grew up, where I lived and which places had the biggest impact on me. If you're a #thirdculturekid like me, please reach out!
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💕ABOUT
Welcome to my channel! My name is Lindie and I share my love for languages and design on this channel. I'm a senior product designer and co-founder of Kaards.io. I also write blog posts about languages at lindiebotes.com, and mentor language learners, and offer UX consulting for language apps at superpeer.com/lindiebotes. I'm a Christian and strive to shine God’s light in all I do. May this channel inspire you to reach your language goals and learn more about design.
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I am a Christian, and as it should be, I am a foreigner on this earth, because I no longer belong to this place, I have lived in 4 different countries and currently for the last 40 years I am in Japan, I have never bothered to think about where I belong, because I know that I do not belong to this earth, my home and heavenly, here anywhere I will always be a foreigner.
🎯🙏
Amen 🙏 🙏 🙏
Have you ever thought that your supposed to be building the kingdom of God like a kingdom that will not pass away like in Daniel 2 44
Like that Jesus ascended in this life to build his father's kingdom that you too should
As it is in heaven so shall it be on Earth.
Thy kingdom come thy will be done
@@OzkAltBldgCo-bv8tt Sorry, but I'm not going to waste time in answering you, because you yourself have demonstrated that you are biblically ignorant, study the Bible so you don't write nonsense.
Citizen of heaven.
I'm kinda a 3rd culture kid. Italian father, Hungarian mother, born in England. Never felt like anywhere was truly home and I feel most at home either when I'm traveling or when I'm in a very international city surrounded by international people!
Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts, Lindie! Happy to see you healing! I recently heard someone say that the opposite of anxiety is trust (not calm, by the way): To trust that everything will be ok eventually. It looks like you've got your trust back and are now embracing whatever life will hold for you. I am glad! That sounds like a good place to be in.
My answer to "Where are you from?" is "New York, California, and Ohio". Wednesday last week after church someone asked "what culture do you practice?" and I had no answer. Then he asked what I eat, expecting something like "tacos" or "pupusas" or "arepas"; I described my mishmash of food, including sprouted wheat tortillas, Vietnamese brown rice noodles, ... "¡Comes mucho integral!" "Es porque soy matemático," I quipped.
My mother was Salvadoran, but she made ratatouille, not pupusas.
My family is from different countries and I was one of the first ones to be born in Germany. From early on I was told by everyone that I didn´t belong anywhere.
I´ve encountered discrimination in Germany and by my own family. They still constantly joke about me not being "one of them", while also expecting me to follow their rules instead of "mingling" with others. This caused a lot of confusion, shame and hatred.
I´ve always been interested in other cultures and being prevented from spreading my wings was painful. I can´t imagine staying in one place my entire life. People can discriminate me all they want, I don´t have to feel "at home" either, but I plan on discovering all the places I always dreamed of.
[still have to finish watching the video]
I am so sorry that you had that experience! That sounds horrible. I really hope that you find peace soon!
You got this, Lindie! I’ve been living in 8 countries for the last 10 years and it wasn’t until last year when I finally landed in Belgium and decided this is going to be my long-term home. I hope your soul will find the nice place you want to be ♥️ I’m here if you want to share any experiences 🫶🏻
Amazing!! I’m so happy for you that you found a place to call home.
Not a TCK proper, since I lived all my life in Russia before the war started. But I can relate to that feeling that I exist in different languages, because when I finally actually learned English I fell in love with British culture and British people, and when my plans to do my Masters or PhD there fell through, I created an English-language reality around myself in Moscow. Started thinking in English. So there is now a British version of me. Maybe the Russian-Jewish combo within myself prepared me for that a bit.
I really liked the video. 😃
I partly grew up abroad in an Arabic country. It was the same for me, we left after 9/11 hit, but my mom had to stay for half a year to finish the contract.
Although the term TCK may not 100% apply to me, because it was not such a long time (4 1/2 years), it still resonates with me and when I first heard it a few years ago, I think it was on your channel or Instagram, it really helped me to hear that it exists and that what I felt for a long time has a name and is real.
Christian here! Now I don't have a lot of experience, but I'll give my 2 cents worth, and hope it comes as some encouragement. There are many many reasons why God can call you to where you are. The most obvious to me, could be simply that through this video, you've been able to share your struggles with others, and more importantly share a bit of your faith. And even for just that, that is an amazing opportunity!
Unfortunately, for the most part though, we tend to only see the full purpose of the situation God's put us in, in hindsight. So, as sucky as that is, and it definitely is, I hope you take a little faith in knowing that in the future (whether in a few years, or in heaven) everything will make sense.
Thanks for all your vids, and praying you find a bit of peace amongst that chaos!
Also, more language-learning videos would be awesome! 😁
Amen 🙏 🙏 🙏 Jesus is King 🤴 🙏 🙌 ❤️ 💙
Dear Lindie, your journey inspired me a lot. I'm really sorry that so many bad things happened to you but I'm so so glad that you're finally healing now. You deserve it so much. I'm excited to see how your life is going to continue, stay strong and be happy ❤️❤️❤️
thank you for sharing your story so openly. i’m not a TCK but i’m sure those who are will absolutely relate!
Thank you for sharing this! I have felt the EXACT same way and I didn’t realize other people felt like this also. Your words spoke directly to my heart and I’m sending you a big hug 🫂 I’ll be praying for you 💛
Tokyo baptist church sounds familiar! My parents lived in Japan for about a year for my dad's work (this was before I was born), and I think they went to that church! Not absolutely certain, but that name sounds familiar!
Also it gave me joy to hear you say you're healing. It gives me hope with my own mental struggles. You're a lovely person Lindie, keep moving forward 😊
Thank you for sharing this. I am not a third culture kid, but I grew up in two different countries, speak both languages fluently, have dual citizenship, worked in both countries, etc., yet I still had an identity crisis in my early 20s. I thought I knew who I was, but it was difficult to answer "Where are you from?" and my answer changed depending on the situation or context. I didn't have a short, simple answer either. Also, people tried to tell me who I was, despite not fully knowing my background. I no longer felt like it was up to me to decide my identity, since people would question it. If I wasn't "enough" for either side though, who am I allowed to be? We determine who we are, not some strangers with narrow ideas. I've also moved around a lot and have lived in five countries in total. I long for a home or a community, or more stability and not always having to start over, but I also felt restless and wanted to "escape". I cannot escape from myself though, wherever I am. I am grateful for the many experiences I have had and I value travel as well. I question whether I am capable of "settling down". I see the positives and negatives. I am still hungry for new experiences, but it is hard and isolating to move around on your own. I am happy with where I am for now, and it's okay that I don't know what the future holds. I am trying to go with the flow and not worry about the way forward anymore. What will happen will happen, and I can decide what I prefer when the time comes.
You actually do fit perfectly the definition of third culture kid
Thank you for this very sencere and open video. I'm not a TCK, but I'm sure it can be so helpful to those who are. I'm so glad you're doing better and I love videos like that. It's so healing to know other people go through difficult stuff and still survive. Thank you for all you do. You're an inspiration!❤
Hi Lindie, ,always remember that as Christians,we are foreigners and pilgrims in this world that soon’s gonna end,and that our real home ,our real country is the kingdom of Heaven,Where we will live with the Lord forever.
God bless you and Keep using you for his Glory🙏🏻
Hang in there, Lindie. I'm not a TCK, but I have lived overseas for almost a decade (in Austria, Korea, and Poland) and I miss it! Really, if it weren't for my family and now husband, I'd have nothing tying me down to the States. I returned in 2020 'cause of the pandemic and so my now husband and I could get married (countries warned they'd close their borders; I was in Korea and he was in the States). I've had the bug to go back out overseas for a few years.
Has settling back in the States been hard? It's more of an adjustment than "hard." I'd give up everything for my husband, he's that wonderful and a true treasure of a man. How have I settled (or calmed down)? I'm fortunate that my husband likes to travel like I do. We talk about where we'd go, how long we'd take, what we'd do, etc. It's nice to be able to dream about this with him. Another things that's contributed is how finances have shifted and international travel is not in our immediate future, but I know it is in our future.
Hold on. Hold on to GOD and your dreams. Make HIM first and HE will take care of the rest. Have you noticed that GOD has the habit of making things happen in the last way you'd expect--and those things being better than anything you could've ever asked for or imagined? ❤🙏🫂
I'm so happy to see you healing❤ I wish you the best Lindie❤❤❤
I’m glad you are doing better ❤
You're such a sweet soul, I love your videos!
You are so inspirational (:
Great to see you so happy! Best wishes for the future.
Hello Lindie, thank you for sharing your story and journey. I am from Singapore and I have been following you since 2019-2020 because I found your youtube when I was trying to learn languages. Thank you for candidly sharing your experiences and struggles. I pray that you are healing well.
Glad to see you are doing well. I originally discovered you through your videos about Japanese since I'm right now studying it too. When it comes to your story I grew up the complete opposite, just staying in my home town from childhood all the way to college now. However this itch you talked about is something I constantly feel. There aren't many opportunities for me here and I want to see the world and experience things. However I first need to finish uni and get a job (also in tech), as travelling can be expensive. But I dream of the moment when I will be able to go somewhere like Japan and change my scenery a bit. Thank you for inspiring me with both your language learning and showing a positive outlook on life. 🤗
As someone who grew up as a military kid in the US, I can definitely relate to not having that strong sense of "home" due to moving around through my growing up years. Even though I lived in the US for essentially my whole life, I was always jealous of other kids who had that "hometown experience" -- living near their extended family, having friends since a young age, having the same general community around you your whole life.
Then I added to that sense of "homelessness", if you will, through my journey of learning Korean and eventually moving to Korea. I love living in Korea and the job opportunities for me there, but I hate being so far from my family, who is my other "home". So far, I don't feel truly at home in either country, and whichever country I'm currently in, I'm missing the other one. I also don't see that getting better anytime soon, so for the time being at least, I'm kind of stuck, torn between the two countries that I love that happen to be on opposite sides of the globe.
This was so good to hear from someone with the same experiences. Growing up overseas, obviously you feel like no one can relate to you and the lack of social interaction can really add to that loneliness. But hearing this from you made me realize that instability is not necessarily a bad thing. It's as if God has opened so many doors and possibilities in your life- a kind of life that a lot of people don't get to experience. I grew up (jumped around more like) in Brazil, Luxembourg, Dubai, and then finally moved to 3 different states in the U.S., and I feel like I've finally come to terms with the fact that nowhere will feel like home. But I'm oddly okay with that- I just feel now that I can learn from each place I'm at. But the thing I'm struggling most with now is the feeling of "Who knows how much longer I'll be here, so I need to cherish each moment". This could sound like a good thing, but it just gives me anxiety about how temporary things are, and I feel like I'm gonna have regrets in the future about not enjoying being in that certain place. As well as the fact that it's like you become a new person in each place and that "you" ends once you leave a certain country... Which again could be good or bad- I'm just not sure how to feel about it...
Prayers! Soy cristiano también y me encanta viajar! no viví en otros países pero me gustaría viajar despacio después de mi trabajo final (durante la jubilación). Love how you bring God into your videos.
It's so interesting to hear about your experiences! I can relate and not at the same time, because I've always lived in the same country, Brazil, but I spent my childhood moving around because of my dad's job. I lived in 5 different cities (4 states, 3 regions of a big country) until I was 12, when we settled down where I still live today at 31. Even though I've been living in this city for so long now I've never really liked it and I don't feel very attached to it. My parents and sibling live here, so that's the biggest reason I stay, but the rest of our extended family is spread out across the country and most of my close friends live in different cities and countries. And because each part of Brazil has a very distinct culture and accent, I've never felt like I truly belong anywhere, like any place is my "true home"
Another thing that makes me feel distant from my environment is that English has been my main language since I was a teenager, because I enjoyed learning it so much that I wanted to immerse myself in it. I started teaching it at 17, went to college and got a teaching license, so now I've been an English teacher for 15 years. Most of my friends speak English and I just surround myself with the language naturally. I also speak Spanish and have been trying to learn Japanese for a while. I don't feel that connected to my own country and language, and I'm often out of the loop when it comes to Brazilian jokes, memes and references.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear you're doing so well now, Lindie! I hope you keep thriving and finding your own happiness!
Dear Lindie, thank you for sharing. You got this! God is with you and will take you where you belong. Keep doing your best and feeling your gut. I'm sending you so much love and light.
Greetings from Ecuador.
I'm glad you are foung so much better ❤
I have grief of my mother and mental health similarities with you and I'm my way to get better too so I'm thriller to see what your future hold ❤
I've lived in 7 countries within 13 years so I know exactly what you mean 😅 I do feel like I want to have a base but the world is so big and there's so much to explore that I feel like 'it keeps me on my feet' in life. I also ended up in my own homecountry but the itch never stops and I will find a way to keep it alive because it's a great way to live. I think you need to find stability within yourself rather than looking for it outside too much.
I completely relate, I find it's gotten harder with time. I've just started in a new country and experiencing homesickness for the first time, but it's strange because I don't even know if my home country is where I want to be for the rest of my life. I also find the idea of settling scary and in a way a bit of a disappointment... Not knowing where you belong is so hard 💔 thanks for sharing , we're not alone ❤️
Whoa It's such a personal story❤❤❤❤
Hey Lindie, love your videos. I really resonated with having gone through a tough process and after years finally being able to feel like my life is going again. I grew up somewhere outside of my culture and now God has moved me somewhere entirely new. I wanted nothing more than to wiggle myself out of God’s plan. Some time has passed, and I have seen God’s hand in my life. I found that itchy feet feeling is not as strong ever since I’ve been able to practice gratitude and submit to God’s plan. I am glad to hear you are doing better! Praying for God’s best for you :)
Your career sounds incredible! ☺ I grew up for 1-2 years in the Netherlands and have worked in Germany and Austria as an adult. I just spent 4 years straight living/working in Germany but moved back to the UK last year as I couldn't afford to stay there. A part of me is relieved to be able to finally stay in one place, but another part of me wishes I could move back to Germany so I can live with my boyfriend again, or go somewhere new like Canada, Norway, Iceland, Japan... I do feel a bit stuck as well at the moment - I've had to move back in with my parents in a rural part of the UK, I don't drive and have to somehow fit my whole life into one small bedroom. I like living here but would like to have some plans and set things in motion as soon as possible so that I can be reunited with my boyfriend and have our own life again.
I’m so happy that you’re living for you and following all of your passions!!! Sok sikert!!
Thank you for this candid video Lindie ❤ I am a fellow TCK, 28yo F - my parents are from two different cultures/languages, I grew up in an additional third culture for half my life, and married into a fourth. I went to 8 schools, 9 if you count distance education. It's complicated and lonely, but wonderful, and I am so grateful for all of the incredible experiences I've had and the perspectives this plurality of identities has given me. Would love to have a chat, you have been a wonderful inspiration for me to learn my husband's language :)
Wow…🎯🎯🎯so many bullseyes I don’t even know where to begin…very similar to me although not quite to the extent of your situation (please bear with me): traveled a lot and know the exact feeling of being alienated and unsettled (partly why the MG in my user name stands for Melancholy Gypsy); my mother also passed away (2010); became born again in which my travels have been a testament to just how fallen the world is without God; was in a volatile relationship in Northern Ireland and still learning a valuable lesson from it; even have an interest in languages and UI design too though definitely not as proactive as you have been; also now just starting to become settled but that itchy, impulsive feeling of wanting to go away creeps up from time to time.
I’m so happy you have persevered and that things are more stable and peaceful for you now. You are loved and I rejoice in the many wonderful things God has planned ❤️
I am from Pakistan and I work with companies and businesses from all over world online. While I am very settled in my own country and moving abroad will be less pleasant for me. But there is something else, I am still not married because from last 10 years I just feel like I want to go somewhere else I guess, and start a family there. But in your case, just see where you like the most, where you feel most comfortable raising your family. You can go to anywhere on short trips but think of a place where you will stay the most and just settle that place as a permanent location in your head. Once you decide that, you will be able to plan your life much better. I myself feel like now going to a new country and new life there, but I am just not sure if I should do that. I am stuck like you too, lol.
Best wishes to you!
Thank you. @@seenonyt2210
Hey Lindie, this was a great blessing to me. Though I can't directly relate to your situation, I just returned from a two-year internship in Japan, with plans to go back as a full time missionary. Being back in America during my transition to full-time ministry, I feel oddly out of place here. Reverse culture shock-it's so odd. Hearing your story and seeing your faith in the unknown is such an encouragement. God bless, sister - He will lead you! ***2 Corinthians 1:3-5
I was born and raised in Poland, but I've always wanted to live abroad. More than 10 years ago I moved abroad and kept moving for quite a while and lived in the Netherlands, the UK, Germany, back in Poland for a bit and the last 5 years I lived in the Netherlands again. I spent some time living and studying in Belgium before as well. I'm very passionate about languages, I speak 6 of them fluently and can communicate in 3 more. I've always considered myself to be a European. I have no idea if I'm going to stay in NL forever or move somewhere else. I can perfectly relate to your situation and feelings. I love your videos. Keep up the great work. I hope we will meet one day maybe during a polyglot event🙂
Hey Lindie!
Although my family has not move around to as many places as yours, I can related being a TCK as well. I relate with the "itch" of not being able to settle in one place and not really feeling "at home" even though I was back in my country of birth. And so I moved abroad too!
Not a moment passes without me thinking of the same old existential questions ("where is home" "do I feel at home/happy here", "is there more I want to do with life" etc) and continuously trying to find ways to make peace with them :)
Thanks for sharing your story! It's always great to hear from other people with oh so different yet oh so similar backgrounds!
So awesome to know you have a similar experience! Where were you born and where do you live now?
Hi, I'm glad this video came to me at the best time. I'm 21 years old and I'd like to start a digital arts career as a freelancer but I have no experience and I've never done it in my life and that makes me afraid to go ahead with it. I also liked traveling and making art. My question is the following: What do you recommend I do to work online and tips you could give me to get started?
I can definitely relate Lindie. I was born in Uzbekistan but don't speak the language and honestly have no connection to nor interest in that culture, my parents and I left when I was 3. Since then we've been to multiple countries and I now speak 3 languages fluently. I've definitely struggled with connecting to the culture of the country I'm living in.
I am not a TCK, actually lived in my hometown until I graduated college. But I've been in different countries since. I do have that question of will I move back? My mom is my biggest reason. It's difficult to live like this, but also at the same time it's a good "problem" to have.
I think, that you be TCK, make you with more "street" and then, more strong for affront the life. You've been in many situations awkward that you have much more weapons for the life than a person without this experiences. You're strong !
sorry for my basic english
Hi Lindie, I have been following you for a while and I am happy to know you are getting better...
Thank you so much!
Hey Sorry to hear you were struggling but glad to hear you're recovering :D I was born in Argentina and well since I can remember i didn't want to live here because of the economy etc I always said to myself that i would leave someday and be super happy with my life abroad but lately i kinda like my country xd I still wanna live abroad though and i really like other cultures and languages
That is totally valid! You can be excited and happy to live in your country, while still being sad about the economy, and will still wanting to explore the world. I feel very much the same as you!
I wouldn't call myself a TCK, but rather a "Third culture adult". What I mean by this is that I grew up in China but have since a young age been more comfortable in English ; then I moved to France at 21, where I grew a lot (basically back in China I had 0 life skills and didn't know how to cook or do any of the adulting stuff). Now I'm more comfortable in French and English than in Chinese, and I find it hard to agree with the concept of "回国“ when I go to China because although it's a cool place to be, it doesn't feel like home as my city in France does (plus the fact that my family moved around and I have no childhood room to go back to). The way I navigate is, for now, is that I don't : I don't really do anything about it except for talking now and then to my family, and I'm just waiting for how it turns out. Maybe when I get more time I will enroll in higher level Chinese classes about Chinese culture, but I'll see. I feel that sometimes you just know when it's the right time.
I always find it interesting how Jesus will always call us to do the hard things. For most of us, going out of our comfort zone is difficult. But it seems for you, God may be calling you to plant some roots and that's hard for you.
Whatever it is, there's absolutely a reason for everything the Lord does. Be patient, wait on His timing, and hold on to the fact that He can use you no matter where you are. 🙏🏾❤️
And I'm so happy to see you doing so well!! Fear is not of God, which means the enemy will always try to scare you into thinking you'll never be free from it, but you ARE free and you ARE healed! Never forget how the Lord brought you out through the lowest of lows in your life and if He did it before, He will certainly do it again!! Praise God for the victory!!
Amen sister you’re so right!! I appreciate how you always seek God in all you do 💕 thanks for the encouragement!!
Hi Lindie! I'm from Peru and I'm learning Korean right now and at first I thought, well this is a magnific and interesting language so why not? I'll try it... but sometimes I really feel unmotivated to move on for many aspects for instance, I don't like asking for help or money to my parents thus I usually don't have the reasources to study and that's so annoying because I feel stuck in the same place with no exist... I'd be so grateful if you advise me.... Please I really need it...
My friend's brother's wife is Russian, but was raised in South Africa. She said doen’t like Russia because of cold climate.
I mostly feel at home beacause of people that around me not beacause of place I am in.
Another good thing is that S. (you know who) has been quiet for three months now.
Gooooood 😂
Actually, I have lived in the same city my entire life, but I have moved house several times, also because of my mom's death, and I have the feeling to belong nowhere too.
Hi Lindie! You might want to consider the novel Last Night in Montreal by canadian author Emily St. John Mandel. It’a fiction, but I believe you may find it resonates with your journey.
Hey Lindie, wou graag 'n worship YT kanaal met jou deel: Yeram Worship van S Korea. Ek vind dit geweldig goed, byde lirieke en musiek verwerkings. Ongelukkig verstaan ek nie Korean nie en moet dus die onderskrifte lees. Hoop jy kan daarby waarde vind 🙂 Sterkte daar!🙏
That intro. 😂 More talkie vlogs. 🙏🏽
❤
we wait for Hungarian content
I've been watching your videos for a very long time, you've always been a huge inspiration to me to keep learning asian culture such as Japanese and Korean. I feel very connected with those but unfortunately have not been able to explore further. The last 10 years of my life have been ruining my life personally and now that I am experiencing my last year in my 20's, I feel like it's time to finally spread my wings and figure out who I really am and what I want to do while I am still young and able to travel. I have never traveled outside of the US, but have lived in another state for a short period of time. Because that place impacted me in so many ways, I consider that as a home to me. You definitely make a point that different places/cultures/languages bring out more of your personality. Where I live now and have my whole life besides that time I moved for a short time, I feel stuck, I feel like there's nothing left for me. I hope that God is telling me that this is the moment to finally get up and travel or just get out there and be happy again. We never truly know when it's time to settle or continue to explore the world, but I feel like you will definitely be happy in Japan or Korea and to keep being a free spirit :)
Haha I get the ending, because you're supposed to de-PEN-d on God everywhere. 🖊🖋✒️ 😂
Do you have "dad jokes" or equivalent in the other languages you know? My German friends call them "flat jokes", which sounds worse to me, but they laugh at the jokes almost the same amount as I do. 😂
That took me a while, I must say, but it’s actually so funny! Thanks for making me laugh!
I would be really interested in day to day life in South Africa as well as your personal language learning.
Speak to the Frugal Travellers.
Japan is a wonderful country, but Tokio is very chaotic.
This is one of the reasons I’m glad I’m not religious. I don’t need to wait for God to tell me where to go or what to do, I just make it happen myself.
Regardless of your nationality and identity, you should work really hard to pay taxes for the Government to have people on social welfare programs. ❤️✊🏽
Girl, listening to your story it seems like you just don't like South Africa in particular. It's fine. SA isn't that exciting and we are all poor and uncultured. Consider that this might be a big part of your restlessness. Your standard is international first world countries. That's okay.