hi elisa, i'm fourteen years old and currently recovering from anorexia. english isn't my first language, but i will try my best to explain. i started restrict my food intake in the end of february, later on, for about two months i restricted my food to around 900 kcal a day, and then for about one month i got to 500 kcal and 13 km of bike riding daily. i dropped from 53 kg to 35 in half a year. i got forced in to recovery by my parents at the end of september, and it kind of went well the first weeks, before my ed-thoughts took over, and i found ways to restrict my food and exercise. this kept on the whole october, and my restrictive eating and compulsive movements made me lose weight instead of gaining. two weeks ago i did strength training almost every day, walked around 10000 steps (some days more) and went without food for days. but then i decided to recover for real, and for two weeks now i've rested a lot and eaten a lot. I started experience extreme hunger and now I have gained 3 kg. now I feel very anxious and restless, and i don't know what to do. i don't feel sick anymore, i don't want to rest because it's making me depressed, i want to start exercising again. i feel like i don't deserve resting because never was that sick to begin with (i've only had this eating disorder for a little more than half a year and my exercise was never extreme). right now i'm probably out of starvation mode according to my doctor and i don't know what to do, really. i want to be active again, i feel so much energy and i don't feel sick. at the same time im very anxious about the weight gain and such. what would you do in my situation? please, i need help.
I know this is from like 5 months ago but this is just the comment I was searching for today. Not having an ed for even a year and still having to recover despite not feeling like you should. I have been restricting for about half a year as well and I’m currently feeling ‘not sick enough to recovery’ but I promised my mom to recover because I don’t want to cause her pain or stress and I really want to go back to dance and hiking (my two favorite things to do) so I am just pushing myself to do it and you should too. My mom said we do deserve recovery because we still had an eating disorder even if it was for half a year. She also said imagine how much more health problems people have if they restrict for years so we should feel lucky that we don’t have severe health problems. And let me say that no normal person would be so scared of trying out foods you haven’t had in a while. I don’t think a person with a diet mindset would cry if they had a piece of cake or something. People with eating disorders, especially me, have to challenge so much stuff with so much fear and that’s why it’s a challenge! I seriously cried two days ago in Starbucks because they messed up my drink and I realized it had milk in it instead of almond milk and it was so hard...you deserve to recover too and even if you didn’t have it for a year, it’s still an eating disorder. How have you been doing since you posted this comment?
Yoanna Adamova thank you for your comment, that was so sweet. i am physically doing a lot better, but mentally it’s not really good. since i posted the first comment i have gained a lot of weight and now i am weight restored, but for some reason i still experience extreme hunger most of the days. looking back now, i realize that i actually was sick; my heart rate was slow, my brain didn’t really work (honestly i have a hard time remembering the past 8 months) i was cold and my hair fell out, i was not growing and my anxiety and ed-thoughts kept me from living my life. at first recovery went quite good, my parents put me on medication to help me, i steadily put on weight and became happier. though after a while i started to feel bad, like i didn't deserve to eat, that I was getting to fat, and I felt like now that I wasn’t underweight people would judge me or be disgusted by, relatives and people in my school comment a lot on my appearance, weight, qualities and such in a lot of negative ways. so I relapsed for like a month but my parents obviously noticed it so now I eat normally but my head is still a pit of self-hatred and even though I know that my life is so much better now, I am still ashamed over myself and I long for starving myself. I know it's sick, and I really hope that I can be free from these thoughts one day and accept myself for who I am and be happpy. . . but I’m sure recovery will be worth it one day, even if it takes years to come there. your eating disorder is still just as valid, even a short period of time can harm your body and mind really bad. we should just be happy that we maybe won’t have to suffer for half of our life, and maybe enjoy our existence. recovery is so hard, I know, like even a single slice of bread can feel like it’s going to ruin your entire life forever, and it’s just really hard. but I hope you get through this, I’m sure you will, I believe in you and root for your freedom!
Freja Landgren you definitely have anorexia. That is a lot of weight to lose in a very short amount of time. I have been struggling for over 20 years with anorexia and have lot so much of my life. Recover!! Go for it!! Don’t allow this disease to take anymore time from your life. Check out Tabitha Farrar too. Blessings.
I do believe in the migration effect. Having this gene, which gets activated in times of starvation, makes me kind of sad. I don't know how to describe this feeling in another way. I always loved doing sports before anorexia made moving for me a crucial condition, an obsessive-compulsive behaviour. I would love to do sports again once I'm fully recovered, once my thoughts and my brain are rewired. But I'm scared of "activating" old thought patterns, when doing so. It's like we all have to stay aware to not get into a caloric deficite again our whole life long. That scares me so much... it makes me sad, 'cause it feels like never being able to really live freely :(
this gene can be activated if your body loses weight and gets malnourished, so you don't have to be afraid of it when you fully recover, restore normal weight and mindset. you just have to be aware to eat more when active. you will learn this as you recover, you will get in tuned with your bodys needs and can be much more mindful about it because of your experience. dont be afraid :)
Elisa 💕 Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean incredibly much to me. Maybe right now I just can't imagine that this will ever be possible again after 10 years of suffering 😟 But knowing which paths you had to take, makes hope grow inside me 🙈 Thank you so much ♥
@Kata Nova ♥ Thank you so much for your kind words... I'm really grateful for your reply. ♥ It feels good and reassuring to read from those who went through all these fears. To think about loving my body just the way it will turn out to be, to let go of controlling and find a way to give myself this secure feeling, which I'm so desperately was hunting for my whole life - it feels so unattainable at the moment. But reading from you just makes me think: "IT IS POSSIBLE! Those women did it and there are two options. Staying like this suffering or just give it try." Thank you so much Kata Nova ♥
hi, im overweight but ive been struggl8ng first. with restriction and then binging, should i still eat 3000+ calories? im eating around that now for a month, but i dont have insane cravings, some of the time im just forcing myself to eat
@@Emma-ox6sb i undesrtand that and on one hand i want to just eat normally, but i used to restrict just like anyone with anorexia and then after months i started binging, and now i understand that it was because my body was hungry, but at that time i always tried to control it, and i always thought that i had to control it, and now i dont know anymore
if you feel you are forcing it then take a step back and just follow your body. in some cases where a person recovers from anorexia and has no hunger cues then they might need to eat despite not hungry but everybody's recovery and places they are is a bit different. it soulds like for you forcing yourself is not necessary.
Sometimes you are full in your tummy, but stomach fullness isn't always a good indicator. When you have been in active restriction there is damage done to your body and I don't think the body cares about stomach fullness when the vast majority of your body needs healing. Especially when its areas like endocrine system, cardiovascular system, your microbiome, your internal organs, skin, hair etc. When these aren't working optimally they take first priority and stomach fullness (or however you perceive eating enough.) is of a lesser priority. When we have to force ourselves to do anything...usually there is an aversion to it ? and not doing it feels better? and that is where taking a step back comes in I suppose...does it feel better because it feels safer or feeds into the ED or does it feel right because you just know that you are completely and wholly satiated...You will know I 100% promise, don't doubt it ever. Also healing the mind is like obviously such a large part as well, sometimes that last little bite or extra meal or snack actually does give you a little more freedom. It reinforces that mindset of 'I eat what I need to eat right now....and I also eat what I need to eat later regardless.' And your body then can trust you. This comment was like 6months ago, but for anyone else reading this. you need to hear this.
Your book is like the ED REcovery bible! Everyone wanting to recover from an ED should have it! x
im glad you like it! thank you!! :))
Q&A part 2 is coming next week!
So glad that I found your channel (you are helping me more than a year now).
hi elisa,
i'm fourteen years old and currently recovering from anorexia. english isn't my first language, but i will try my best to explain. i started restrict my food intake in the end of february, later on, for about two months i restricted my food to around 900 kcal a day, and then for about one month i got to 500 kcal and 13 km of bike riding daily. i dropped from 53 kg to 35 in half a year. i got forced in to recovery by my parents at the end of september, and it kind of went well the first weeks, before my ed-thoughts took over, and i found ways to restrict my food and exercise. this kept on the whole october, and my restrictive eating and compulsive movements made me lose weight instead of gaining. two weeks ago i did strength training almost every day, walked around 10000 steps (some days more) and went without food for days. but then i decided to recover for real, and for two weeks now i've rested a lot and eaten a lot. I started experience extreme hunger and now I have gained 3 kg. now I feel very anxious and restless, and i don't know what to do. i don't feel sick anymore, i don't want to rest because it's making me depressed, i want to start exercising again. i feel like i don't deserve resting because never was that sick to begin with (i've only had this eating disorder for a little more than half a year and my exercise was never extreme).
right now i'm probably out of starvation mode according to my doctor and i don't know what to do, really. i want to be active again, i feel so much energy and i don't feel sick. at the same time im very anxious about the weight gain and such. what would you do in my situation? please, i need help.
I know this is from like 5 months ago but this is just the comment I was searching for today. Not having an ed for even a year and still having to recover despite not feeling like you should. I have been restricting for about half a year as well and I’m currently feeling ‘not sick enough to recovery’ but I promised my mom to recover because I don’t want to cause her pain or stress and I really want to go back to dance and hiking (my two favorite things to do) so I am just pushing myself to do it and you should too. My mom said we do deserve recovery because we still had an eating disorder even if it was for half a year. She also said imagine how much more health problems people have if they restrict for years so we should feel lucky that we don’t have severe health problems. And let me say that no normal person would be so scared of trying out foods you haven’t had in a while. I don’t think a person with a diet mindset would cry if they had a piece of cake or something. People with eating disorders, especially me, have to challenge so much stuff with so much fear and that’s why it’s a challenge! I seriously cried two days ago in Starbucks because they messed up my drink and I realized it had milk in it instead of almond milk and it was so hard...you deserve to recover too and even if you didn’t have it for a year, it’s still an eating disorder. How have you been doing since you posted this comment?
Yoanna Adamova
thank you for your comment, that was so sweet. i am physically doing a lot better, but mentally it’s not really good. since i posted the first comment i have gained a lot of weight and now i am weight restored, but for some reason i still experience extreme hunger most of the days. looking back now, i realize that i actually was sick; my heart rate was slow, my brain didn’t really work (honestly i have a hard time remembering the past 8 months) i was cold and my hair fell out, i was not growing and my anxiety and ed-thoughts kept me from living my life. at first recovery went quite good, my parents put me on medication to help me, i steadily put on weight and became happier. though after a while i started to feel bad, like i didn't deserve to eat, that I was getting to fat, and I felt like now that I wasn’t underweight people would judge me or be disgusted by, relatives and people in my school comment a lot on my appearance, weight, qualities and such in a lot of negative ways. so I relapsed for like a month but my parents obviously noticed it so now I eat normally but my head is still a pit of self-hatred and even though I know that my life is so much better now, I am still ashamed over myself and I long for starving myself. I know it's sick, and I really hope that I can be free from these thoughts one day and accept myself for who I am and be happpy. . .
but I’m sure recovery will be worth it one day, even if it takes years to come there. your eating disorder is still just as valid, even a short period of time can harm your body and mind really bad. we should just be happy that we maybe won’t have to suffer for half of our life, and maybe enjoy our existence. recovery is so hard, I know, like even a single slice of bread can feel like it’s going to ruin your entire life forever, and it’s just really hard. but I hope you get through this, I’m sure you will, I believe in you and root for your freedom!
Freja Landgren you definitely have anorexia. That is a lot of weight to lose in a very short amount of time. I have been struggling for over 20 years with anorexia and have lot so much of my life. Recover!! Go for it!! Don’t allow this disease to take anymore time from your life. Check out Tabitha Farrar too. Blessings.
I do believe in the migration effect. Having this gene, which gets activated in times of starvation, makes me kind of sad. I don't know how to describe this feeling in another way.
I always loved doing sports before anorexia made moving for me a crucial condition, an obsessive-compulsive behaviour. I would love to do sports again once I'm fully recovered, once my thoughts and my brain are rewired. But I'm scared of "activating" old thought patterns, when doing so.
It's like we all have to stay aware to not get into a caloric deficite again our whole life long. That scares me so much... it makes me sad, 'cause it feels like never being able to really live freely :(
this gene can be activated if your body loses weight and gets malnourished, so you don't have to be afraid of it when you fully recover, restore normal weight and mindset. you just have to be aware to eat more when active. you will learn this as you recover, you will get in tuned with your bodys needs and can be much more mindful about it because of your experience. dont be afraid :)
Elisa 💕
Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean incredibly much to me. Maybe right now I just can't imagine that this will ever be possible again after 10 years of suffering 😟
But knowing which paths you had to take, makes hope grow inside me 🙈
Thank you so much ♥
@Kata Nova ♥
Thank you so much for your kind words... I'm really grateful for your reply. ♥
It feels good and reassuring to read from those who went through all these fears.
To think about loving my body just the way it will turn out to be, to let go of controlling and find a way to give myself this secure feeling, which I'm so desperately was hunting for my whole life - it feels so unattainable at the moment.
But reading from you just makes me think: "IT IS POSSIBLE! Those women did it and there are two options. Staying like this suffering or just give it try."
Thank you so much Kata Nova ♥
Remember friends that no matter what your weight is, it’s someones goal weight :)
I really can't express how happy I am that I found you and your channel! ❤️
thank you!! im happy you did! :)
Thanks so much for all the answers!
Thank you so much you are helping me in my recovery you are amazing,💖
Great as always, thank you. May I ask what lights you got?
Great Video 🙏🏻💕
Great video! Thank you!!!
hi, im overweight but ive been struggl8ng first. with restriction and then binging, should i still eat 3000+ calories? im eating around that now for a month, but i dont have insane cravings, some of the time im just forcing myself to eat
I think you should eat as much as your body wants... you don't have to force yourself to eat... your body knows when it's hungry or when it's full
@@Emma-ox6sb i undesrtand that and on one hand i want to just eat normally, but i used to restrict just like anyone with anorexia and then after months i started binging, and now i understand that it was because my body was hungry, but at that time i always tried to control it, and i always thought that i had to control it, and now i dont know anymore
if you feel you are forcing it then take a step back and just follow your body. in some cases where a person recovers from anorexia and has no hunger cues then they might need to eat despite not hungry but everybody's recovery and places they are is a bit different. it soulds like for you forcing yourself is not necessary.
@@FollowTheIntuition ok, thank you for answering!
Sometimes you are full in your tummy, but stomach fullness isn't always a good indicator. When you have been in active restriction there is damage done to your body and I don't think the body cares about stomach fullness when the vast majority of your body needs healing. Especially when its areas like endocrine system, cardiovascular system, your microbiome, your internal organs, skin, hair etc.
When these aren't working optimally they take first priority and stomach fullness (or however you perceive eating enough.) is of a lesser priority.
When we have to force ourselves to do anything...usually there is an aversion to it ? and not doing it feels better? and that is where taking a step back comes in I suppose...does it feel better because it feels safer or feeds into the ED or does it feel right because you just know that you are completely and wholly satiated...You will know I 100% promise, don't doubt it ever.
Also healing the mind is like obviously such a large part as well, sometimes that last little bite or extra meal or snack actually does give you a little more freedom. It reinforces that mindset of 'I eat what I need to eat right now....and I also eat what I need to eat later regardless.' And your body then can trust you.
This comment was like 6months ago, but for anyone else reading this. you need to hear this.