For the letter writer, why do you choose to be unhappy because you don't want to get a divorce? You deserve to be happy. Your child deserves to be happy. Your husband isn't willing to work on your marriage, he belittles you and then proceeds to give you the silent treatment. If that's how you want to live for the rest of your life, then stay. At the end of the day you have to put yourself first. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Truth! I definitely had this mentality when I was younger. God TRULY smiled on me, and granted me grace. ALSO I did listen to the Holy Spirit when He told me to cut off a relationship. My cut-off game was so strong. And it is only NOW in my early thirties and married to a GREAT man, that it all is becoming so clear that I was dealing with the beginning stages of abuse with a FEW of those relationships. I listened to the Lord even though it the reasons were not clear to me at the time. Saying all that to say, that is a very dangerous mindset for young ladies to have as it places them in the direct line of fire for abusers and just plain old bad decisions. Be discerning ladies and pray for guidance!
It’s the fact that we operate at such a low self esteem that we allow ourselves to willingly get into these relationships and explain it away until we get to a point where our bodies start to respond… I know this because I have been there twice. I am just getting to he point where I realize how broken I truly was and how much I need to heal within myself.
Beleaf with the gems!!! I loved that question: “Is this how you are going to be for the rest of your life”!? Like what’s the plan for growth here. The silent treatment is so hurtful and so manipulative. It makes me wanna fight but God is still working on me 🫠 This is good! And to our sis in Germany! Mama we are praying for you, God will see you thru this. No matter what happens!
I think there is cultural difference with him not communicating. I‘m born and raised in germany too and as far as know he would have to leave the country in case of a divorce. And for him to visit Germany to see his son would be very difficult…
Haha my 4-legged baby is almost 14 and named Diego Cortez Turner but when i got married he wanted to keep his last name lol he said you got married not me 😂
Silent treatment is abuse, divorce him. It won’t get better. Even non-physical abuse is violent and can be deadly, it's not worth staying...it's not worth settling.
Still in chocolate baby story time part of the video and wanted to comment here before I forget 😂. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that your babies understand that that behavior is unacceptable or inappropriate!!! Beautiful!! 🤗 ok back to the video 😂
Every time I hear these stories I really wanna advocate for the men but sheesh they make it hard. I really think communication, understanding and grace would go so far in a lot of these situations.
You guys did a podcast a while back talking about how most great men are married and as a 30yo man building for my future wife and family I really disliked that message that men need to have a wife to level up and this ladies story is one of the reasons. Men should go through these “tough” times on their own and with friends and family before they start a family, I think that would help marriage rates a lot. Would love to hear what you guys think about that.
This felt relevant to me. My husband has similar struggles with work since he immigrated to my country, but he was able to get jobs. But the staying out all night is too much. If they stay together, they should seek professional counseling. Ok not “should” they MUST. As in, not optional. Our couples therapist made us stop arguing to win or find a solution and we had to now ask only specific questions that will help us understand the person. Having a third person be able to point out, ok stop blaming the other person, it really makes a difference. I would tell her to keep praying, try to work on what she can do differently and see a professional counselor who can help them with to their communication. Especially with the trauma she has experienced with her miscarriage and the trauma he might have felt moving away from his home, a professional is needed.
Yesssss!!! We have to tiptoe around every situation to avoid pure chaos, because we’re perceived in this negative light!!! 😮💨 breathe in breathe out 😂
Hmmm...he is perceived to not be cheating, but he comes home at 6am on someday and sleeps in up until 2pm?🤔 Toxic environment, and my heart breaks for the future of her child as he grows up seeing all that.
That man is definitely cheating. He stays out until 6am and doesn’t speak to his wife ? I don’t care even if he isn’t cheating. That’s neglect and emotional abuse. I would leave ASAP. It wouldn’t be easy but staying would be worse . She’s already been diagnosed with some serious mental illnesses.
Having grew up in Nigerian household, Nigerian men are raised to provide for the family. It appears the man hold resentment for not fulling the provider role. It would have been beneficial if he had found a job prior to moving to Germany . Divorce is an option however the question is will his job status change? Is he willing to do any job training programs? If not, he will keep getting angry and the living situation will only get worse
the real question is ,is that if he does get a job will his behavior change and is his behavior because he doesn't have a job cause to me insecure about not being a bread winner has nothing to do with coming in at 6 in the morning ??
Typically behavior is coming from somewhere. I am not condoning the behavior of staying out late however the issue is what is the root cause. Being from a Nigerian household I think it's because he's not a provider. His behavior stems from somewhere and when the root cause is determined, it's likely the behavior will change. As an adult he needs to be able to communicate what the issue is and then the root cause will be addressed. If not, like I said before, the living situation will get worse
If you desire for your children to have a relationship with the Lord the way you're going about parenting is going to prepare them more than the "do what you want" childhood- those kids will have trouble with boundaries, submitting to the authority of God's reign in their lives amongst other things...keep doing what you're doing!
Having your spouse shut down to the point where They are not speaking to you for day's, week's or month's at a time is manipulation and abuse. Please find your way out of this relationship if he is not doing anything to correct his behavior like personal therapy.
Oh wow I am first. Love you guys, I really want to ask some advice from you both as a recently engaged guy! I want to see how you all will weigh in and tell me how I can work to fix some of the issues.
Hey guys now older parent of 3 and love listening I can relate to our home rules as my kids friends would visit so my kids could also see consistency in our home regardless of who step in it My parenting thought as the kids grew was life has rules adults can’t even do everything they want society has law abiding rules and there was No way I was ever visiting my sons in jail ect cause I let them as kids do whatever plus I was raised firm but fair with consequences it made sense btw I’m a white momma bear 🐻 hehe and now have awesome adult kids that still bickering that won’t change lol 😂 hugs guys agreed u guys have good kids indeed too
Pause before i watch (but surely after i hit like, catch it lol) i actually liked the sign moving in the back, added a tid of uumph .. ok continues watching video 💕
6:41 You’re describing overconfidence and that’s not a good quality. There’s no balance. You have to be confident but also self aware and ready to accept direction/advice and input to be a good person.
I wonder why the husband hasn't attempted to learn German prior to getting married and relocating to the new country? And even now not taking a class? Also, I would have continued fellowship at the church and charged the husband to take the initiative of finding a new church to attend. And the silent treatment is a hard no...
What if the child has a (invisible) disability or on the autism spectrum, should a another parent should address the other parent not knowing that the child has a disability.
If you watch any of those TH-cam channels where they bring a whole bunch of random people together for dating, or discuss their different world views, you'll see what those people look like grown up, and it's YIKES. (One channel name is the year when all the Jews forgive each other's debts, and the other is what you do with scissors lol)
I don't think it's a black... White issue.. it's a generational issue. Where we are running away from principle and to what we think is socially acceptable parenting. I hear there is a bill to be passed about parenting in the UK and boy am I glad am in Africa because here slippers fly .. like discipline still is a big thing and as much as your country is western and has all these privileges you are losing your children and it's not only a certain race it's all of you. You live in a time where you are scared to do what is right because you'll be cancelled.. I don't think I'd handle that life because I am not a people pleaser. If my value system doesn't agree with something it just doesn't... Deal with it.. I'm not going to change to make you feel better... It's just really sad what's happening in the world.. end times!
I feel like this episode lacked any advice, what tangible advice did you give this woman?! Suggest single and couples therapy; she and her child can go back and find a church community; she can consider Journaling and exercising to help her physical and mental health; give her husband a deadline to find a job or start German classes/school; set a firm deadline, "if in X amount of months X hasn't happened, I am out" and stick to it.... I feel like they said nothing! What was your advice?!
I am Pro Marriage. But this situation is screaming get out. Get a dang divorce and do it NOW. She honestly is being a bit naive to think staying would fix it. It's her decision. But. as someone who has grown up under an extremely toxic parent environment with my mom justifying staying with my dad with every reason in the bible, this child will grow to resent his mother if she does. Guaranteed. I know, because me and my siblings, we all resented our parents for not getting a divorce. 35+ years later I am still watching my mom endure this silly marriage and put me in the middle and it pisses me off as it has royally affected my ability to date with clarity as a 38 year old woman and project onto those around me unfairly AND fairly (yes i meant to say it this way).
Glenn I notice it too… these parents be having the wildest kids
Who else likes the video before even watching it? WE LOVE Y'ALL!!
Yup😂
✋🏾 yess Sis they will always get my likes and comments
Yes!
For the letter writer, why do you choose to be unhappy because you don't want to get a divorce? You deserve to be happy. Your child deserves to be happy. Your husband isn't willing to work on your marriage, he belittles you and then proceeds to give you the silent treatment. If that's how you want to live for the rest of your life, then stay. At the end of the day you have to put yourself first. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
The whole “my first boyfriend will be my last” is a fantasy far too common in young single Christian girls.
I could say so much about this episode 😩
Truth! I definitely had this mentality when I was younger. God TRULY smiled on me, and granted me grace. ALSO I did listen to the Holy Spirit when He told me to cut off a relationship. My cut-off game was so strong. And it is only NOW in my early thirties and married to a GREAT man, that it all is becoming so clear that I was dealing with the beginning stages of abuse with a FEW of those relationships. I listened to the Lord even though it the reasons were not clear to me at the time. Saying all that to say, that is a very dangerous mindset for young ladies to have as it places them in the direct line of fire for abusers and just plain old bad decisions. Be discerning ladies and pray for guidance!
As far as sexual relationships God is true however doing relationships non sexually as you seek God for direction is something we need to do.
I’m only two minutes in: y’all don’t understand how much I be groovin to the intro song 🤣😂🤣🥰
It’s the fact that we operate at such a low self esteem that we allow ourselves to willingly get into these relationships and explain it away until we get to a point where our bodies start to respond… I know this because I have been there twice. I am just getting to he point where I realize how broken I truly was and how much I need to heal within myself.
That’s how I got into my previous marriage. 3 weeks in and I’m like “I’m going to marry him”. I was 19 😂
Beleaf with the gems!!! I loved that question: “Is this how you are going to be for the rest of your life”!? Like what’s the plan for growth here.
The silent treatment is so hurtful and so manipulative. It makes me wanna fight but God is still working on me 🫠
This is good! And to our sis in Germany! Mama we are praying for you, God will see you thru this. No matter what happens!
I think there is cultural difference with him not communicating. I‘m born and raised in germany too and as far as know he would have to leave the country in case of a divorce. And for him to visit Germany to see his son would be very difficult…
Not Lilly having a middle name. 😂 my poodle’s name is Marlow Rose
Haha my 4-legged baby is almost 14 and named Diego Cortez Turner but when i got married he wanted to keep his last name lol he said you got married not me 😂
I came here JUST to say this 😂! A TRUE black pet parent.
Silent treatment is abuse, divorce him. It won’t get better. Even non-physical abuse is violent and can be deadly, it's not worth staying...it's not worth settling.
Still in chocolate baby story time part of the video and wanted to comment here before I forget 😂. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that your babies understand that that behavior is unacceptable or inappropriate!!! Beautiful!! 🤗 ok back to the video 😂
Beleafs comments about the kids behavior hit home boy oh boy
Every time I hear these stories I really wanna advocate for the men but sheesh they make it hard. I really think communication, understanding and grace would go so far in a lot of these situations.
The first 10 mins of this podcast are 1000% real
You guys did a podcast a while back talking about how most great men are married and as a 30yo man building for my future wife and family I really disliked that message that men need to have a wife to level up and this ladies story is one of the reasons. Men should go through these “tough” times on their own and with friends and family before they start a family, I think that would help marriage rates a lot. Would love to hear what you guys think about that.
Thank you for encouraging people to, get as much information about whatever prior to committing, be accountable to others, & teachable. Loving you 💞
This felt relevant to me. My husband has similar struggles with work since he immigrated to my country, but he was able to get jobs. But the staying out all night is too much. If they stay together, they should seek professional counseling. Ok not “should” they MUST. As in, not optional. Our couples therapist made us stop arguing to win or find a solution and we had to now ask only specific questions that will help us understand the person. Having a third person be able to point out, ok stop blaming the other person, it really makes a difference. I would tell her to keep praying, try to work on what she can do differently and see a professional counselor who can help them with to their communication. Especially with the trauma she has experienced with her miscarriage and the trauma he might have felt moving away from his home, a professional is needed.
Yesssss!!! We have to tiptoe around every situation to avoid pure chaos, because we’re perceived in this negative light!!! 😮💨 breathe in breathe out 😂
Hmmm...he is perceived to not be cheating, but he comes home at 6am on someday and sleeps in up until 2pm?🤔 Toxic environment, and my heart breaks for the future of her child as he grows up seeing all that.
45:26 hyenas: you ever come back, we’ll kill ya 😂 mercccyyyyyyy 😂
Omgoodness 24:26 I want that water bottle!!! 😂
"NO SIR" 😂😂😂😂 hahaha
You got the questions, we got the answers.
That man is definitely cheating. He stays out until 6am and doesn’t speak to his wife ? I don’t care even if he isn’t cheating. That’s neglect and emotional abuse. I would leave ASAP. It wouldn’t be easy but staying would be worse . She’s already been diagnosed with some serious mental illnesses.
The only answer is prayer… 🤗🩷🌸 whatever happens…. God will see you through. ❤ Shalom sis
Mothers Unplugged!!! 🤗 is there a virtual option if I can’t make it there? 😬 I really want to participate 😭
😂😂 sadly, We are all with you Gwen!!
Having grew up in Nigerian household, Nigerian men are raised to provide for the family. It appears the man hold resentment for not fulling the provider role. It would have been beneficial if he had found a job prior to moving to Germany .
Divorce is an option however the question is will his job status change? Is he willing to do any job training programs? If not, he will keep getting angry and the living situation will only get worse
the real question is ,is that if he does get a job will his behavior change and is his behavior because he doesn't have a job cause to me insecure about not being a bread winner has nothing to do with coming in at 6 in the morning ??
Typically behavior is coming from somewhere. I am not condoning the behavior of staying out late however the issue is what is the root cause. Being from a Nigerian household I think it's because he's not a provider. His behavior stems from somewhere and when the root cause is determined, it's likely the behavior will change. As an adult he needs to be able to communicate what the issue is and then the root cause will be addressed. If not, like I said before, the living situation will get worse
Checking in from the DMV.
It was the “No sir!” off camera lol.
If you desire for your children to have a relationship with the Lord the way you're going about parenting is going to prepare them more than the "do what you want" childhood- those kids will have trouble with boundaries, submitting to the authority of God's reign in their lives amongst other things...keep doing what you're doing!
Having your spouse shut down to the point where They are not speaking to you for day's, week's or month's at a time is manipulation and abuse. Please find your way out of this relationship if he is not doing anything to correct his behavior like personal therapy.
Oh wow I am first. Love you guys, I really want to ask some advice from you both as a recently engaged guy! I want to see how you all will weigh in and tell me how I can work to fix some of the issues.
Premarital Advantage Brother🙏🏾
Hey guys now older parent of 3 and love listening I can relate to our home rules as my kids friends would visit so my kids could also see consistency in our home regardless of who step in it My parenting thought as the kids grew was life has rules adults can’t even do everything they want society has law abiding rules and there was No way I was ever visiting my sons in jail ect cause I let them as kids do whatever plus I was raised firm but fair with consequences it made sense btw I’m a white momma bear 🐻 hehe and now have awesome adult kids that still bickering that won’t change lol 😂 hugs guys agreed u guys have good kids indeed too
Whew! I wish I had this in 2019
Pause before i watch (but surely after i hit like, catch it lol) i actually liked the sign moving in the back, added a tid of uumph .. ok continues watching video 💕
Informative❤
When yall mentioned having sex issues in y’all’s marriage? Is there an episode about that situation?
I hear Glen’s Baltimore come out now and again
She didn't give them time to really know each other. Why didn't the parents say anything or friends?
6:41 You’re describing overconfidence and that’s not a good quality. There’s no balance. You have to be confident but also self aware and ready to accept direction/advice and input to be a good person.
Agreed because people who are overconfident without limits can make bad business decisions without thought of repercussions
Adulting is exhausting. The
I wonder why the husband hasn't attempted to learn German prior to getting married and relocating to the new country? And even now not taking a class? Also, I would have continued fellowship at the church and charged the husband to take the initiative of finding a new church to attend. And the silent treatment is a hard no...
That's a good question, cause they were together 6 years before marriage and i noticed she only visited his country 🤔
What if the child has a (invisible) disability or on the autism spectrum, should a another parent should address the other parent not knowing that the child has a disability.
Sadly, she is not in a marriage. This is not even a situationship.
Not considering the parents in your marriage!!! I will never understand that. This is a marriage between two people not 5, 6, 7 + people
44:03 omgoodness 😂 pull up with a camera like cheaters 😂 real talk 😆 reading a bible at Starbucks I’m CRYIIIIINNGGGGG 😂 🤣
If you watch any of those TH-cam channels where they bring a whole bunch of random people together for dating, or discuss their different world views, you'll see what those people look like grown up, and it's YIKES.
(One channel name is the year when all the Jews forgive each other's debts, and the other is what you do with scissors lol)
❤❤❤❤
I don't think it's a black... White issue.. it's a generational issue. Where we are running away from principle and to what we think is socially acceptable parenting. I hear there is a bill to be passed about parenting in the UK and boy am I glad am in Africa because here slippers fly .. like discipline still is a big thing and as much as your country is western and has all these privileges you are losing your children and it's not only a certain race it's all of you. You live in a time where you are scared to do what is right because you'll be cancelled.. I don't think I'd handle that life because I am not a people pleaser. If my value system doesn't agree with something it just doesn't... Deal with it.. I'm not going to change to make you feel better...
It's just really sad what's happening in the world.. end times!
Definitely not a generational issue. It’s a parenting issue. Older generations were just as bad and disrespectful and kids ran amok.
How would this be a generational issue if they are in the same generation as the people with the unruly kids? They’re in their thirties.
21 minutes in… Bye! Lol
I feel like this episode lacked any advice, what tangible advice did you give this woman?! Suggest single and couples therapy; she and her child can go back and find a church community; she can consider Journaling and exercising to help her physical and mental health; give her husband a deadline to find a job or start German classes/school; set a firm deadline, "if in X amount of months X hasn't happened, I am out" and stick to it.... I feel like they said nothing! What was your advice?!
I am Pro Marriage. But this situation is screaming get out.
Get a dang divorce and do it NOW.
She honestly is being a bit naive to think staying would fix it. It's her decision. But. as someone who has grown up under an extremely toxic parent environment with my mom justifying staying with my dad with every reason in the bible, this child will grow to resent his mother if she does.
Guaranteed.
I know, because me and my siblings, we all resented our parents for not getting a divorce. 35+ years later I am still watching my mom endure this silly marriage and put me in the middle and it pisses me off as it has royally affected my ability to date with clarity as a 38 year old woman and project onto those around me unfairly AND fairly (yes i meant to say it this way).
Free yourself. Divorce and go to therapy. Heal. Someone else better might give you the world.
stupidity is all i have to say about this story
I'm so pleased that I found you guys 🤎🤎🤎