the whole thing about this song hitting w lesbians is because a lot of queer women, not just lesbians, sometimes just have this weird and uncomfortable feeling to be sexually appealing to men even without being attracted to them. it makes you feel icky, and sometimes it can even make you feel like you're faking being queer :0
on the comphet tangent- the point isn't that being straight is a made up concept (obviously the majority of people ARE straight), but that people who aren't straight often struggle recognizing that about themselves/feel forced to suppress it and act straight because of how heavily the society around them pushes the idea of being straight as the default. i see this concept applied almost exclusively to lesbians because the term originated in lesbian spaces and is intertwined with how women are seen in patriarchal societies, but it can also apply to gay men. though usually i just see the more general term "heteronormativity" used instead.
Glad you enjoyed the sound of this song!!! I have a soft spot for Lush and it’s instrumentals. The pacing and the piano with the percussion in this song I remember initially hearing and not liking very much but Real Men has really grown on me since then :-) + comphet is very real; across multiple cultures a woman’s identity is tied specifically to their relationships to men, their ability to be seen as romantically and/or sexually available to men, their ability to marry easily and quickly when they reach young adulthood, and of course then their ability to have children and raise them. If you’re a woman who cannot do these things you’re an outlier and lesbians are that societally. You’ve been taught subtly throughout childhood that you must marry a man if you’re a woman and vice versa and many lesbians feel if they can’t still attract men they’re “unwomanly” or are “less valuable” of a person; comphet refers to instances where lesbians still wish to be seen as desirable to men even though that truly isn’t what they want, it’s what they’ve been taught to need and want
6:48. That probably means heteronormavity,This also goes down with the sexualization of queer people. In a sense when people see a pregnant kindergarten teacher, people don't always assume if she had sex before. Meanwhile If they see two men or two women holding hands, people will automatically assume that gay people are groomers and shoving their queerness to other people as if that isn't the straight people always do. And why that commenter could feel that way? it's due to systemic oppression that men or women have to do certain things to be considered socially acceptable, such as suppressing their queerness and let's not mention the physical oppression/agression. I also think you missed the point by considering "Straight" as the default. Yes you need male and female to reproduce,but that's other thing, sexuality is lot more complex than that. It's modern day anyway so even if you're a queer you can still reproduce by donor.
but anyways, this song is pretty cool. some of the lyrics feel a little clunky (you can tell this is something she wrote as a college student lol), but the bassline and drums are so good. they give it a bit of a rock feel that helps "brand new city" feel a little less like a complete outlier on the album, since pretty much everything else is more chamber pop-y and piano based. oh also, since her new album is out, are you planning on reacting to that as a whole thing or nah?
7:30 com-het: how straight is the default in society, so gay/bi/pan people don't realize or suppress how they really feel. (Cuz not everyone has the option to realize that they're not straight) Like when people were stuck in a miserable marriage not knowing it's cuz they didn't like men cuz they didn't think they could be anything but straight. Straight isn't bad... I think the way you read it made it seem like that... Or the way Google said it. I hope I made sense and that ya read this...
this is one of my favs and as a lesbian who really struggled with comphet, i really relate! comphet is a lesbian-specific term, and it doesnt mean that heterosexuality has been forced on society as a whole! obviously, straight people exist and most people are straight, but in a society that is focused around men and that assumes straight is the default for everyone (e.g you have to come out as gay but you dont come out as straight because thats already expected of you) many lesbians feel pressure to be attracted to men, and its a very complicated struggle to come to terms with the fact that you arent attracted to men because growing up as a girl you are socialised for everything you do to appeal to men - a lot of lesbians dont realise that wanting to be attractive to men (because thats what we have been taught to do) is not the same as being attracted TO them, and thats part of comphet! i hope this helps, i love your mitski videos shes my fav artist and i saw her in concert last week she was amazing!!!!
the whole thing about this song hitting w lesbians is because a lot of queer women, not just lesbians, sometimes just have this weird and uncomfortable feeling to be sexually appealing to men even without being attracted to them. it makes you feel icky, and sometimes it can even make you feel like you're faking being queer :0
mitski released a new music video for "my love mine all mine" from her new album which also was released a few days ago.
on the comphet tangent- the point isn't that being straight is a made up concept (obviously the majority of people ARE straight), but that people who aren't straight often struggle recognizing that about themselves/feel forced to suppress it and act straight because of how heavily the society around them pushes the idea of being straight as the default. i see this concept applied almost exclusively to lesbians because the term originated in lesbian spaces and is intertwined with how women are seen in patriarchal societies, but it can also apply to gay men. though usually i just see the more general term "heteronormativity" used instead.
Glad you enjoyed the sound of this song!!! I have a soft spot for Lush and it’s instrumentals. The pacing and the piano with the percussion in this song I remember initially hearing and not liking very much but Real Men has really grown on me since then :-)
+ comphet is very real; across multiple cultures a woman’s identity is tied specifically to their relationships to men, their ability to be seen as romantically and/or sexually available to men, their ability to marry easily and quickly when they reach young adulthood, and of course then their ability to have children and raise them. If you’re a woman who cannot do these things you’re an outlier and lesbians are that societally. You’ve been taught subtly throughout childhood that you must marry a man if you’re a woman and vice versa and many lesbians feel if they can’t still attract men they’re “unwomanly” or are “less valuable” of a person; comphet refers to instances where lesbians still wish to be seen as desirable to men even though that truly isn’t what they want, it’s what they’ve been taught to need and want
WE NEED NEW MITSKI!!! i don’t like my mind!! mine all mine!! the whole album😭i’ve been ballig since it dropped
6:48.
That probably means heteronormavity,This also goes down with the sexualization of queer people.
In a sense when people see a pregnant kindergarten teacher, people don't always assume if she had sex before.
Meanwhile If they see two men or two women holding hands, people will automatically assume that gay people are groomers and shoving their queerness to other people as if that isn't the straight people always do.
And why that commenter could feel that way? it's due to systemic oppression that men or women have to do certain things to be considered socially acceptable, such as suppressing their queerness and let's not mention the physical oppression/agression.
I also think you missed the point by considering "Straight" as the default.
Yes you need male and female to reproduce,but that's other thing, sexuality is lot more complex than that.
It's modern day anyway so even if you're a queer you can still reproduce by donor.
And bi people exist too, straight people don't got a premium service for babies
but anyways, this song is pretty cool. some of the lyrics feel a little clunky (you can tell this is something she wrote as a college student lol), but the bassline and drums are so good. they give it a bit of a rock feel that helps "brand new city" feel a little less like a complete outlier on the album, since pretty much everything else is more chamber pop-y and piano based. oh also, since her new album is out, are you planning on reacting to that as a whole thing or nah?
7:30
com-het: how straight is the default in society, so gay/bi/pan people don't realize or suppress how they really feel. (Cuz not everyone has the option to realize that they're not straight)
Like when people were stuck in a miserable marriage not knowing it's cuz they didn't like men cuz they didn't think they could be anything but straight.
Straight isn't bad... I think the way you read it made it seem like that... Or the way
Google said it.
I hope I made sense and that ya read this...
this is one of my favs and as a lesbian who really struggled with comphet, i really relate! comphet is a lesbian-specific term, and it doesnt mean that heterosexuality has been forced on society as a whole! obviously, straight people exist and most people are straight, but in a society that is focused around men and that assumes straight is the default for everyone (e.g you have to come out as gay but you dont come out as straight because thats already expected of you) many lesbians feel pressure to be attracted to men, and its a very complicated struggle to come to terms with the fact that you arent attracted to men because growing up as a girl you are socialised for everything you do to appeal to men - a lot of lesbians dont realise that wanting to be attractive to men (because thats what we have been taught to do) is not the same as being attracted TO them, and thats part of comphet! i hope this helps, i love your mitski videos shes my fav artist and i saw her in concert last week she was amazing!!!!
I'd love you to see to listen to her new album! I feel like you'll really like The Deal bc of the drums lol
YEAAA😎🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼🥰(LOVE THIS ONE)
This song and its notes on "real men" is definitely about the place women are put in society and hypersexualization.
Yees when i first listen to this i was so confused but after 3 listens i can say its my fav song on lush
I love Mitski
PLEASE LISTEN TO HER NEW ALBUM I WILL GIVE YOU MY RIGHT KIDNEY /J
where is the reaction to Nicki's performance at the VMAs 2023?