I've shared my suspicion of autism with a couple of different NT people, some who have worked with autistic students as Paraprofessionals and I think because they're used to kids who need a LOT of support/ are non-verbal/ suffer from frequent, sometimes violent meltdowns, they don't believe it. However, when I've shared with autistic people and explain what has led me to that conclusion, they nod in agreement. NTs in my experience seem to think autism looks like what Autism Speaks presents it as and that adults who've experienced periods of academic, intellectual, or professional success cannot possibly be autistic.
Self-diagnosed in late life (at 65, I'm now 67), and definitely NOT, just as you said, on a crusade to blurt the "autistic" label to all and sundry everywhere all the time. For all kinds of reasons. Like the possibility of pushback or a challenge: "How do you know that? Why did you think I need to know that? Are you expecting some kind of special treatment? Can you prove it? Oh we're all a bit autistic, don't think you're unique!" Etcetera. Because of my age, and some of the freedoms that come with it (the prerogatives of age and the "break" you tend to get because of it anyway), and also my profound certitude on the reality of my autism, I feel it far more useful and productive to assert, not a word/label that might turn into a useless rabbit trail, but instead of that an "I-statement" that leaves no room for dispute. Instead of "You know, I'm autistic and so I want to ask whether we could lower the volume" or "You know, I'm autistic, so could you allow me more time to process these multiple messages?", or "You know, I'm autistic and that's why a large stadium setting with the tsunami of sensory input is intolerable to me," I prefer to say, "You know, I am extremely sensitive to noise, so I won't be able to stay here unless there's some way to either lower it or relocate further from it?" and "I can see all these messages are important and need attention. The way my brain works, it's impossible for me to zip immediate responses to them all, I'll need a bit of time," and "No, I don't go to stadium events like that, the whole thing is just too much on my nerves, but you go and have a great time." The word "autistic" is something very private I will share (apart from forums like this! 🙂) with only the closest people in my life. For the rest, it's enough to tell them what I can and can't do just because it's "me" and the word "autistic" isn't necessary for that. After all, what are they going to do? When I tell them "A stadium setting like that is too much for me nerves," tell me in reply, "No, it's NOT too much for your nerves"? 😏 So by taking total ownership of the autistic traits as being ME, even before they're "autism," I leave people little to no room left to tell me, which would be absurdly obnoxious, "No, that's NOT you." But this is just me. Others, who are younger, in certain work or educational settings, definitely have different needs that can require a more frank and direct disclosure, along with diagnostic proof and legal protections. I have only sympathy for that.
@@kensears5099 I totally agree with you. Only my husband and my therapist know I'm autistic. This week, my step-daughters and their families are nearby in an AirB&B that is run-down and pretty disgusting inside. My husband wanted me to tell all of them that I'm autistic, to explain why I wouldn't be joining them in this potentially smelly house for interactions and meals with 7 people (2 of whom I'm almost positive are ND) over a period of days. After long consideration, I realized that I would be putting myself at risk, because each of them likely have preconceived notions about autism, and there is no going back from that unless they're willing to educate themselves. It's also really none of their business. I would rather they keep calling me "elusive" and "reclusive" -- I would even like "eccentric." (BTW, tonight my husband came home from the rental, and his clothes smelled so bad that I can't get within 5 feet of him, meaning that my intuition that this rental was going to smell bad was right on, unfortunately...)
I’m in France and I recently heard about an autistic teenager who was refused an apprenticeship to work with children because “she doesn’t have empathy”… her mother, who was diagnosed later in life and is a social worker, said not having a label earlier in life, while being a hindrance in many ways, allowed her to do what she wanted to do and not be limited. I’m all for labels (I received my own diagnosis this year) but I’m scared when I see the way we’re treated in society once we have that label… refusing us access to things based on some outdated stereotypes like you said in the video 🙄
I haven’t shared possible labels with others (who are non-judgemental) until recently, cause no matter how educated a person is, once you tell certain people a label, they can automatically believe you’re not capable of much/aren’t that intelligent and won’t change their mind from that, no matter what you do/say.
I found this to be true *at first* but as people come to understand more, you can express yourself. I have been able to assist others in understanding by standing up for myself. For example I may struggle to take things too literally or have a hard time with facial expressions, but I found when I make genuine observations on those things people might tell me I'm wrong after knowing I'm diagnosed. I have said things similar to, "im autistic, not blind," and it has helped. I can still see your face, and I might *tend* not to notice your expressions, but that doesn't mean I'm always wrong when I perceive what I perceive. Expressing this sentiment can enlighten others to your struggles while also maintaining your own agency and perceived capability and interdependence. I hope my examples are helpful.
It also applies to yourself sometimes. I always think that because of my label I will always have trouble with certain things. Even though I may have outgrown them. It always sits in the back of my head, like a stamp that is put on you forever.
If I am speaking with people who may not understand autism, and I want to advocate for myself, instead of saying I am autistic, I will say I am hypersensitive to smells. Or Can I have those instructions in writing? Sometimes it helps. The label has its positives and negatives. I am a person first. Autism is a part of my personhood. I want people to see me for who I am not through their biased idea of what an autistic person is.
I can't get an official diagnosis. My therapist brought it to my attention when I told her I felt different and felt everyone treated me differently and started listing why. When I asked a psychologist he said I was too old and it didn't matter since I learned how to deal with it ( see no insurance will cover it). When I did my research things started to make sense and that helped me a lot. I'm now 63 and live alone.
I am 49 and don’t have a diagnosis because it is too expensive as well. I self diagnosed after a few years of research..a LOT of it. My youngest son’s diagnosis pretty much was the confirmation that I needed since we think very similarly.
You freakin rock, dudes (Shout out to Debby for the signwork!). Actual examples of how to request reasonable accommodations? thank you! At work, I made a sign for my office door saying it's a scent-free zone, my lights are on maximum dim, and I'm always wearing noise-cancelling headphones. I feel like I've been getting away with it because at other places it would never have been allowed. Now it's protected under the ADA. It's a whole other world now. Thank you for being a bridge to accommodations.
Ps To all the psychiatrists: Stop saying that you won’t diagnose because it’s labeling!!! That’s just nonsensical!!!! Official diagnostics have a purpose!!! It’s exactly like refusing to give a physical diagnosis to a disabled person!!! « No I won’t diagnose yr cancer coz it’s labeling » I might get labeled by some for having cancer but I still need the fracking chemo! Not my best analogy, sorry. But I did have cancer and it’s the first thing I could think of.
OMG THE DENTIST. I called the secretary for an appointment and asked not to have an Xray. "We always do that and it's mandatory, don't worry, it's paid by social security." Uh, sorry, I hadn't been to the dentist for 6 years because of that traumatic unexpected experience after 30 years without any and I was fine, so I can't see why I should undergo this. "All dentists do that now, you know, it's not that a big deal". Actually, I'm autistic and have sensory issues, if you tell me I must undergo Xray, I just won't see any dentist at all. "Oh, I understand. But it doesn't make noise, we put a thing in the mouth and..." YES EXACTLY, sensory issues cover that too. "Oh, ok, I understand. Then I will write that down, and you can talk about it with the dentist to make the decision." FINALLY!!! So it went well, the dentist was really understanding and explained everything she was doing. They even turned the TV off (WHY THE HELL IS THERE A TV TO WATCH ABOVE THE SEAT).
TV would help me distract myself from the situation. I usually count back in 4s, from an odd number, including when having to go under an emergency general anesthesia. Sometimes a TV to watch would have been nicer
My dentist lets me wear the weighted apron typically only used when X-rays are being taken the entire appointment. It’s calming for me and a proxy weighted blanket. Also - sunglasses if you’re light sensitive!
I never saw a tv in a dentist' room. Can't imagine that it wouldn't distract the dentist too. Some have the radio on. Compared with the noise of the drills, that's a very minor addition. Radio's can be extremely bothering to me, but at the dentist i am anyway flooded with anxiety so i don't bother to ask them to put it off.
@@paulveenvliet9130 It was just above the seat, so the dentist doesn't really see it, and the images were landscapes with movement and in loops... Nothing interesting, just overwhelming moving things on a bright screen. I'm not sure I would ask to turn off the radio, but the screen was really too much. But the dentist has never been a problem for me before that useless Xray experience. I'm lucky I've had no dental problems in 36 years, so it was only looking and scaling.
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy” - I’m a little more than half way through the book. All the time I’m nodding my head yes, yes, to everything I’m reading. Feeling like someone is telling parts of my life, my secrets. Many times feeling so embarrassed, and then I’m crying, and then I’m like… Wow! Someone understands. Someone is saying what I’ve been trying to say. Feeling what I’ve been through. My whole life all I’ve ever wanted, all I ever hoped for was for someone to understood me. Someone who would just allow me to be myself. Whatever that might be. Honestly, I don’t even know what that is, or who. The nervous breakdown, suicidal attempts, running away from an abusive marriage, running away from an abusive family. All blaming me. Always feeling like I have to hide the war going on inside. I went to therapy and when asked what do you want to get out of therapy? I would feel like saying isn’t that your job? I would give up because I didn’t know how to explain what I needed, because I didn’t know what I needed. I thought I needed to be like everyone else. I didn’t understand why I was different, what was wrong with me. This book is like opening the can of worms and looking in and saying okay so it’s just a can with worms. It’s not something ugly, or some kind of monster. I can feel, and think, process, and respond differently and that is truly okay.
Feeling that it’s only you and everyone else can handle things is the worst part for me. I thought I hated myself, but really I just hated that I couldn’t be normal no matter how hard I tried and I tried HARD.
@ I agree. That feeling of something in the shadow alluding you where you just cannot reach it. And you think, but I’m trying so hard that I’m exhausted.
@NicoleBeelaard while reading this book I am constantly nodding, yes, yes, this is me. I read a little and then take time to think about it. For me it can be a bit overwhelming because so much of what is being said applies to me. I want to remember and get it. I might not be around people, but at least I know that there is a reason why I’m different. And in watching other videos I’ve found there are people out there making sense. Autism has a stigma but I think that will change. People in the past and some now only looked at the possibly worse cases. The hardest part is when they still expect me to be normal, when I just can’t be their version of normal.
@@donnaml8776 and the pitty/fear they look at me with. It’s like “You know I’ve ALWAYS been autistic, right?” I’m ecstatic to feel at home in my own skin for once. Over.the.moon but people who saw me over function look at me now like I’m sick when I FINALLY feel good!
That sounds like a super helpful book, thank you for sharing it! That longing to be understood and allowed to be oneself is so relatable. I'm glad to hear you've been able to find more acceptance for yourself. Hopefully you are able to find whatever support you need from others as well!
I am in the US and high masking at work (no labels shared). In a meeting with my manager (UK based) and coworker (Canada based), was told my manager's new boss has ADHD and is OCD regarding slides (e.g. particular about spacing and fonts). When I said "it's good to know he is neurodivergent" they both reacted badly saying I was being rude and should not repeat that outside the meeting because it sounded insulting. Not sure if their ignorant reaction or my manager being our business group's D&I ambassador was more ironic.
This is a great video. Very true and helpful. I found the utility of labels before I was diagnosed; I am Bi and the Bi label is very useful for self-acceptance. The same is also true for autism. It is easier to understand and accept it, even for myself, because of the label. It further assists with beginning to create understanding in others.
I told my family and close friends about my suspected AuDHD. They all were very understanding. But what I felt improved things is not using labels but being able to better explain what is going on, how a loud, crowded bar feels to me. Though I guess, realising that the label adhd and autism fit me is what helped me figuring things out and putting it into words. (As a side note: to me the stock images are a little overdone in this video. Too many sequences of random, different pretty people looking pretty. )
with December tomorrow this video is great, I'm likely to share it with a few close people to help them understand my way of communicating and processing more - thank you :-)
These labels have been pretty positive for me. They helped when I was investigating my own neurodivergence, and now I've picked some they help with my self-esteem. Another label also helped my daughter communicate to me what she thought my sexuality actually is. I've been lucky with the people I've told about me probably being autistic, I've had a mostly very positive response. Even the labels I did have trouble with as a kid weren't the cause of that trouble but a symptom - "weird" and "fat" from the bullies, "slow", "bone-idle" and "a problem" from the teachers.
I find the label for empathy quite helpful, in both directions, as it also helps me understand better why sometimes my behaviour irritates or upsets people, and generally people I've told has been more understanding why and less upset, but also made me think more about my behaviour towards both neuro-divergent and neurotypical people, like my friend who hates being touched, albeit coming natural for me to do so, to tye point I'm not even realising I'm doing it. It takes practice, but because of increased shared understanding things are slowly improving.
For my own knowledge, labels have helped me understand more the reasons I have struggled, and given me more insight on how I can work on them. However, not everyone else is going to depths to understand the nuances of particular labels. For example, I've had what I thought were close and understanding friends who get upset when I brought up the I recognized something that triggered my c/PTSD. I was actually told, "That [particular situation] was over 10 years ago. You need to get over it," followed by her saying everyone has trauma and her listing things she had to deal with in her life. [Everyone experiences trauma, agreed. Not everyone processes them equally.] I digress, and apparently still bitter about that one.... But, I, too had such a preconception about what autism was and wasn't until I after a therapist brought up a possibility of autism for my son, then subsequently a different therapist for myself. I was more fixated about the idea that people with autism had difficulty understanding facial expressions or feelings of others. I felt both of us excelled at tuning into a person's mood. This was despite hearing, "If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person." I think the medical community itself has come a long way, even in the past decade or two of understanding what it is/isn't and that information hasn't made it's way out in the public quite yet. The portrayals of autism in the media generally represent where some of those diagnosable dials are turned on high, where it doesn't capture a more nuanced version of what it could be. I suppose it's easier writing when it is apparent to the outside world, rather than showing the complexities of what is happening inside of us. Showing a high-masking person doesn't really create a visual of the differences... Uhhh...what was the question, again? 😂😂😂😂
I also had the epiphany this week that maybe I do excel at reading mood. However, looking over my history of relationships (all types), I haven't done so well with realizing people's intent, particularly deception.
it makes sense though, when you think about it because representations in the media are written by neuro-typical white men. Actors who play autistic people are also neuro-typical white men. How are we supposed to recognize it in ourselves?
I've only run into one person in my professional life who actually understands my autism is neither a superpower or a complete disability. We can actually joke about it
I don't know if anyone remembers that I was supposed to go get a screening to see if I have ADHD/autism or not, but here's the update. They tested me for ADHD but didn't test me for autism. 🤨🙄 I guess I have some mild cognitive/learning disabilities, and they told me my PTSD could be the reason I'm having some problems and possibly not ADHD. So I'm back at square one. Still confused and still wondering if I'm just highly sensitive to my environment and other sensory input in general, or just (insert antisocial behavior adverb here). I'm not pursuing a diagnosis for paperwork sake, but more towards a possible different approach to how I can use coping skills and CBT better to handle life's little surprises and thorns. Thank you for reading and for all of your support!
Tried to explain to some friends that I have autism, because I felt it would help them understand me better. Because in the past they had made the comment that they didn’t understand me, plus they even went to someone else about it. Well, they just do not believe there is any other kind of thinking but neurotypical thinking and in the end they just said, “feel better?” My heart just sank. But, it’s okay, no one understood me before this won’t make any difference.
@ most of the people I’ve known most of my life aren’t very considerate when it comes to anything mentally or emotionally. It’s hard because it doesn’t change who I am, I have always been autistic. It’s just now that I’m beginning to understand why I comprehend things a bit differently, and it takes me a bit more time to totally grasp it. It’s caused quite a bit of trauma for me.
@@MyFriendRuth One thing that I was just thinking about is how when I get nervous or anxious I get really tongue tied and feel like a fool because my mind goes completely blank. So when someone is asking for an explanation I can barely speak.
@@donnaml8776 I’m sorry. Yeah, I’ve been there too. It’s hard because I know about the thing I want to say but I can’t always get it out the way I want to. Hang in there. I hope you can find some community. I am trying to find online and in-person community of people who are autistic. I am reminding myself it’s going to be a process.
@ Thank you. I appreciate that you can understand. I agree, It is a process. That’s what I keep telling myself too. I have “cognitive distortions” and I really don’t think of there being other ways. I know that there are other ways to think, but those other ways don’t come to me at that moment. I also have a processing disorder. I’m very black and white person. I have to be really careful when I speak because my mind is always going to the worse case scenarios. I get testy without realizing it. You know, I never knew. My whole life, I’m in my 60’s and I knew something was very different from everyone else, but I never knew what it was. I never knew that I have autism, or a processing disorder, or cognitive distortion. I feel like I should have known, but I didn’t. It just makes so much sense now. It’s a relief to know. I’m trying to learn what I can, but because it hits so many triggers I have to take in a bit at a time and then walk away and allow my mind to process all of it. Honestly, I feel like I’ve been through a battle. I want to make friends but honestly I don’t know what that looks, or feels like. But at least now I know what I need in a friendship, instead of being in a fog. Knowing helps me look for healthier friends. Ones who can accept that I have autism.
So far, I have shared my problems with problems with dyslexia and my mental health labels. And currently and I tell people this that I am self diagnosed autistic but will be tested after January so I share my labels. And let people know and I have not run into any negative responses.😊
On my last dentist appointment I commented to the hygienist that I'm happy I'm getting older as there, hopefully, will come a day when I won't be able to hear the high-pitched scream of the drill.
Can you wear noise-cancelling headphones? I have done that the last few times during cleanings along with wearing my own super-dark sunglasses, and it helps a lot. GL!
So whether to share labels in the UK is interesting. For children in the UK it's more acceptable but currently in the UK autism and adhd seems to be being stigmatised in late diagnosed adults. It's been exhausting and some politicians see us all as people want to claim benefits. I've worked all my life and faced challenges but never had any support or empathise as a result of anyone knowing I was aitustic. That said my autism and adhd has been great for my life in IT and energy governance. I can make changes to pre-existing things and make them better but have difficulty with a blank piece of paper. Returning some on a redlined document to improve it might have gone down better if they knew I was autustic
Yeah, the unfortunate truth is I think that most autistic people are treated as a problem rather than just being different. In reality, most people have a lot of problems too, but they don't have an offical label, so yeah...
@@march8482 they’re also better at “lying”. If they ask how I’m doing, I answer, not having learned before last week that most people don’t really want an answer to the question. 😂 I always answer and then when they seemed to put off by how much I said, I would feel why the f*** did you ask me then?? 😂 I would never expect them to keep feelings in, but that’s what they expect of us. I’ve only suspected for a bit over a month and got diagnosed officially two days ago. It’s not lost on me how fortunate I was to get a diagnosis that quickly.
I got my diagnosis about two months ago. I find it easier to share the diagnosis or label with people who are not very close to me, like my chiropractor or indeed a dentist. I am however very reluctant to share it with my current employer and my colleagues. I guess I'm afraid I'll get passed over with specific projects because of the assumption I can't perform to my former level anymore. Fortunately, I don't have to decide what to do just now, because I'm on sick leave for the next couple of months at least. But it does keep me busy 😐
Giving myself a label = self-diagnosis was extremely valid to be more compassionate with myself. However, only when this label got confirmed by an expert, it became believable for other people. But, it is only a first step. Now i admit to myself that i struggle. I also admit to others that I struggle. But i didn't manage to find any real support. Many people (both friends and employees of care centres) are more than willing to offer a helping hand, but only on a case-by case basis for solving single small problems, and only when I keep asking, which is both humiliating and exhausting. I would like to find structural support with finding and keeping employment. And someone who contacts me to see if I have any problems, not the other way round. The label doesn't help with that at all. I still struggle alone. And back in school I was mercilessly bullied - at a time when these labels didn't even exist. Later, I lost my job and my relationship because I didn't know about these labels, so I couldn't even explain that I struggled. Jobless, divorced, struggling financially from month to month, and hell lonely. That is what for me the label "late-diagnosed high masking autism" means.
People who are different will often be picked on by other people, mainly because that's just evolution. I think children are 'programmed' to pick out (or exclude) other kids that have weak traits so the genetic pool stays strong. Kinda similar with birds, where the stronger birds will often overpower the weaker ones. When we get older, this behaviour, or instinct, gets largely replaced by what we are taught, though it still kinda remains. A label can act as an instrument or give validation to exclude people who act 'differently'. Of course it can help people, but it really is a double edged sword.
@@debedde I didn't mean autistic traits, just weak traits in general. Everyone can have weak traits. Most autistic people actually have a lot of strong traits. It is just that (I think in general) those become apparant at a later age. And the lack in social development can overshadow those stronger traits at an early age.
All my life I'm told I label and I should not (stigmatising) To me it is a tool to unravel complicated issues. Just a tool. As a very late diagnosed neurodivergent person I finally start to see WHY I am different
Agreed. It was good to finally, at age 74, have an explanation for so many things over the course of my life. Labels help me make sense of the NT world -- I just want to be as sure as I can be before I label something.
I really like how you prensten things and you humor Chris. Good Work 🙂👍. I totally agree that labels kan be harmful (especially If they are outdated), but for me it was so helpful to have new terms and words to describe things that I struggle with all my life as an undiagnosed Autistic person and it have made me gett the right support and understand my self a lott better after I started my journey and got diagnosed.for me its a difference between labels and helpful terminologi. watts your thoughts about that Chris?
I don't tell anyone at work. I did stop telling doctors but now I do. If you have a doctors and tell them. Thay treat you different cuz of the labels get a new doctor or have a talk with them. Remember you pay them.
If my office were next to an elevator, I think my brain would explode. The part I'm not quite getting is that in a previous video you seemed to emphasize that there are hard boundaries between who is autistic and who is not. Now you're saying it's blurry and that autism can look a million different ways. This is pretty important for those of us who have experiences that don't quite fit with what others experience.
If I had even just a basic teeth cleaning I had to stay home from school and sleep it off the anxiety was so bad. The buzzing in my head made me feel like I was dying
I am high functioning Autistic and i don’t use labels !!! I call it artistic and I have a Chanel that has loads of subs! I have a huge interest in plushies and I find plushies help me because they are very Calming .. keeping the brain Busy
Plushies are awesome!! And thanks for weighing in on this topic - we’re always interested in hearing opinions as this is one that is a challenging issue for many neurodivergent people around the world. To disclose or not to disclose - hopefully with better understanding, it doesn’t have to feel like such a loaded question for us all 😊
1994, 20 years it's been in DSM update serveral times. Major up in 2013 IRRC 2022 with TR5. Why can't these fact be on trivia night. I do get lucky every so often with some off beat bit of trivia I learned 16 years ago.
I didn´t like when people where labeling me growing up, because I felt it would become too restrictive, or would end up locked up in Arkham Asylium or something like that. I need a lot of alone time so being under servalience for longer time, would be difficult for me. It is even hard to be put in a hospital, I ended up burning out the last time, and needed a month to cool down afterwards. So the thought of being put in a home just because someone found it fun to call me autistic, that made me try to figure out why they would say that, so I could stop doing whatever it was. So no I don´t like labels.
Got it! Didn’t realize the sound variation was so much until watching on a couple different devices - thanks for this feedback. Will adjust that for the future 🙂 and thanks for being here!
Labels help me - descriptions and explanations for everything that up until now has never made sense........and the dentist.......if I could avoid going for the rest of my life, I would. The drill, the scraping tools, the x-ray, holding my mouth open, the taste, not being able to swallow.........I hate all of it.......
My problem with this topic is the use of the term "label". Apparently it "describes or identifies" which is very generic. Labels make sentences much shorter, and as accurate as we need them to be if there is shared domain specific understanding. However, the use of the term label that we use here is very specific and not at all obvious to the unaware. I don't think we help ourselves using the word label, to explain these challenging issues. The irony that concepts that require careful use of lots of words to explain, should not be summarised with a label, yet we use the word label without explaining what we mean with careful use of lots of words. 😅
I’ve already experienced plenty of bullying and harassment at work, so sharing my Autistic label in order to get accommodations is pretty much a step up regardless 😂The frustrating part is that I asked for similar things recommended in my diagnosis before I had any idea I was Autistic and they were ignored or shot down. I’m going to enjoy bringing them up again with documentation and the ADA behind me!
It’s almost like a weighted blanket! I feel like dentists’ offices would be a good place to have a weighted blanket… maybe a suggestion next time I go too 🤔
@@faeriesmak I asked for that about 15 years ago, and apparently It wasn't the first time they'd gotten that request, because they were very willing to leave it draped over me
Where were you when we were working on this video 🤣 and wouldn’t have required so many takes from struggling with saying that word 😂 thanks for the input Ken!
Why do you want to label yrself? Well it’s not only a label but also a word, and what do words do?, they describe things. Putting a word on something helps me understand that something. You wouldn’t stop someone from using other words to describe themselves or their experiences. « You shouldn’t label yrself as a blond because some reduce it to being pretty and dumb. » So no one will question me if I say: « I’m a woman, I’m 43yrs, I’m a teacher, I’m tall. » that’s all ok but if I say: « I’m autistic » that’s labeling myself ? Words are ok to use even if some people are too… I don’t know exactly… to realize that you shouldn’t use words to generalize something. Being a woman for example doesn’t define everything about me and the word itself can imply so many different thing to different people. Hence I shouldn’t say that cause it could be used to generalize and label me? Words aren’t the issue. Trying to express yrself accurately with the right words (an obsession for me as I rarely get my points across) isn’t the issue. People using words to generalize everything in such a not nuanced manner are the issue. Sorry for the rent, this is an extremely frustrating subject for me. And I’m so glad you brought it up!!!!
So what do YOU think about labels? Do you share labels with others? Drop your thoughts on the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of labels ⤵
Great videos as a late diagnosed autistic person with adhd diagnosed the same time as you I've discovered you recently but similar journey
I've shared my suspicion of autism with a couple of different NT people, some who have worked with autistic students as Paraprofessionals and I think because they're used to kids who need a LOT of support/ are non-verbal/ suffer from frequent, sometimes violent meltdowns, they don't believe it.
However, when I've shared with autistic people and explain what has led me to that conclusion, they nod in agreement. NTs in my experience seem to think autism looks like what Autism Speaks presents it as and that adults who've experienced periods of academic, intellectual, or professional success cannot possibly be autistic.
Self-diagnosed in late life (at 65, I'm now 67), and definitely NOT, just as you said, on a crusade to blurt the "autistic" label to all and sundry everywhere all the time. For all kinds of reasons.
Like the possibility of pushback or a challenge: "How do you know that? Why did you think I need to know that? Are you expecting some kind of special treatment? Can you prove it? Oh we're all a bit autistic, don't think you're unique!" Etcetera.
Because of my age, and some of the freedoms that come with it (the prerogatives of age and the "break" you tend to get because of it anyway), and also my profound certitude on the reality of my autism, I feel it far more useful and productive to assert, not a word/label that might turn into a useless rabbit trail, but instead of that an "I-statement" that leaves no room for dispute.
Instead of "You know, I'm autistic and so I want to ask whether we could lower the volume" or "You know, I'm autistic, so could you allow me more time to process these multiple messages?", or "You know, I'm autistic and that's why a large stadium setting with the tsunami of sensory input is intolerable to me," I prefer to say, "You know, I am extremely sensitive to noise, so I won't be able to stay here unless there's some way to either lower it or relocate further from it?" and "I can see all these messages are important and need attention. The way my brain works, it's impossible for me to zip immediate responses to them all, I'll need a bit of time," and "No, I don't go to stadium events like that, the whole thing is just too much on my nerves, but you go and have a great time."
The word "autistic" is something very private I will share (apart from forums like this! 🙂) with only the closest people in my life. For the rest, it's enough to tell them what I can and can't do just because it's "me" and the word "autistic" isn't necessary for that.
After all, what are they going to do? When I tell them "A stadium setting like that is too much for me nerves," tell me in reply, "No, it's NOT too much for your nerves"? 😏
So by taking total ownership of the autistic traits as being ME, even before they're "autism," I leave people little to no room left to tell me, which would be absurdly obnoxious, "No, that's NOT you."
But this is just me. Others, who are younger, in certain work or educational settings, definitely have different needs that can require a more frank and direct disclosure, along with diagnostic proof and legal protections. I have only sympathy for that.
@@ChrisandDebby I don't for the same reasons as kensears5099
@@kensears5099 I totally agree with you. Only my husband and my therapist know I'm autistic. This week, my step-daughters and their families are nearby in an AirB&B that is run-down and pretty disgusting inside. My husband wanted me to tell all of them that I'm autistic, to explain why I wouldn't be joining them in this potentially smelly house for interactions and meals with 7 people (2 of whom I'm almost positive are ND) over a period of days. After long consideration, I realized that I would be putting myself at risk, because each of them likely have preconceived notions about autism, and there is no going back from that unless they're willing to educate themselves. It's also really none of their business. I would rather they keep calling me "elusive" and "reclusive" -- I would even like "eccentric." (BTW, tonight my husband came home from the rental, and his clothes smelled so bad that I can't get within 5 feet of him, meaning that my intuition that this rental was going to smell bad was right on, unfortunately...)
I’m in France and I recently heard about an autistic teenager who was refused an apprenticeship to work with children because “she doesn’t have empathy”… her mother, who was diagnosed later in life and is a social worker, said not having a label earlier in life, while being a hindrance in many ways, allowed her to do what she wanted to do and not be limited. I’m all for labels (I received my own diagnosis this year) but I’m scared when I see the way we’re treated in society once we have that label… refusing us access to things based on some outdated stereotypes like you said in the video 🙄
I haven’t shared possible labels with others (who are non-judgemental) until recently, cause no matter how educated a person is, once you tell certain people a label, they can automatically believe you’re not capable of much/aren’t that intelligent and won’t change their mind from that, no matter what you do/say.
I found this to be true *at first*
but as people come to understand more, you can express yourself. I have been able to assist others in understanding by standing up for myself.
For example I may struggle to take things too literally or have a hard time with facial expressions, but I found when I make genuine observations on those things people might tell me I'm wrong after knowing I'm diagnosed.
I have said things similar to, "im autistic, not blind," and it has helped. I can still see your face, and I might *tend* not to notice your expressions, but that doesn't mean I'm always wrong when I perceive what I perceive.
Expressing this sentiment can enlighten others to your struggles while also maintaining your own agency and perceived capability and interdependence.
I hope my examples are helpful.
It also applies to yourself sometimes. I always think that because of my label I will always have trouble with certain things. Even though I may have outgrown them. It always sits in the back of my head, like a stamp that is put on you forever.
@@connortodd4538 - “I’m autistic, not blind” is marvelous phrasing. 🙂
@@TheChristineBabb Thank you!
The phrase “If you know one, you know one.” perfectly sums up the problems with labels. We need descriptions, not judgements.
If I am speaking with people who may not understand autism, and I want to advocate for myself, instead of saying I am autistic, I will say I am hypersensitive to smells. Or Can I have those instructions in writing? Sometimes it helps. The label has its positives and negatives. I am a person first. Autism is a part of my personhood. I want people to see me for who I am not through their biased idea of what an autistic person is.
I can't get an official diagnosis. My therapist brought it to my attention when I told her I felt different and felt everyone treated me differently and started listing why. When I asked a psychologist he said I was too old and it didn't matter since I learned how to deal with it ( see no insurance will cover it). When I did my research things started to make sense and that helped me a lot. I'm now 63 and live alone.
You CAN be diagnosed!!! Don't give up!
Try online.
@@blattman13 🫂
I am 49 and don’t have a diagnosis because it is too expensive as well. I self diagnosed after a few years of research..a LOT of it. My youngest son’s diagnosis pretty much was the confirmation that I needed since we think very similarly.
@@connortodd4538It is still a few thousand to get a full diagnosis online as an adult!
You can pursue a diagnosis with a PhD psychologist at the Embrace Autism website
You freakin rock, dudes (Shout out to Debby for the signwork!). Actual examples of how to request reasonable accommodations? thank you!
At work, I made a sign for my office door saying it's a scent-free zone, my lights are on maximum dim, and I'm always wearing noise-cancelling headphones. I feel like I've been getting away with it because at other places it would never have been allowed. Now it's protected under the ADA.
It's a whole other world now. Thank you for being a bridge to accommodations.
I just want to say that your videos are really well put together, educational, and entertaining. Keep up the great work!
Thank you very much for that!! We appreciate you!
Ps To all the psychiatrists: Stop saying that you won’t diagnose because it’s labeling!!! That’s just nonsensical!!!!
Official diagnostics have a purpose!!! It’s exactly like refusing to give a physical diagnosis to a disabled person!!!
« No I won’t diagnose yr cancer coz it’s labeling »
I might get labeled by some for having cancer but I still need the fracking chemo!
Not my best analogy, sorry. But I did have cancer and it’s the first thing I could think of.
I’m glad you’re okay now!
OMG THE DENTIST. I called the secretary for an appointment and asked not to have an Xray. "We always do that and it's mandatory, don't worry, it's paid by social security." Uh, sorry, I hadn't been to the dentist for 6 years because of that traumatic unexpected experience after 30 years without any and I was fine, so I can't see why I should undergo this. "All dentists do that now, you know, it's not that a big deal". Actually, I'm autistic and have sensory issues, if you tell me I must undergo Xray, I just won't see any dentist at all. "Oh, I understand. But it doesn't make noise, we put a thing in the mouth and..." YES EXACTLY, sensory issues cover that too. "Oh, ok, I understand. Then I will write that down, and you can talk about it with the dentist to make the decision." FINALLY!!!
So it went well, the dentist was really understanding and explained everything she was doing. They even turned the TV off (WHY THE HELL IS THERE A TV TO WATCH ABOVE THE SEAT).
TV would help me distract myself from the situation. I usually count back in 4s, from an odd number, including when having to go under an emergency general anesthesia. Sometimes a TV to watch would have been nicer
My dentist lets me wear the weighted apron typically only used when X-rays are being taken the entire appointment. It’s calming for me and a proxy weighted blanket. Also - sunglasses if you’re light sensitive!
@@Sara-xc9xo Thanks for your experience, it makes sense. TV is overwhelming for me when I don't choose it 😅
I never saw a tv in a dentist' room. Can't imagine that it wouldn't distract the dentist too. Some have the radio on. Compared with the noise of the drills, that's a very minor addition. Radio's can be extremely bothering to me, but at the dentist i am anyway flooded with anxiety so i don't bother to ask them to put it off.
@@paulveenvliet9130 It was just above the seat, so the dentist doesn't really see it, and the images were landscapes with movement and in loops... Nothing interesting, just overwhelming moving things on a bright screen.
I'm not sure I would ask to turn off the radio, but the screen was really too much. But the dentist has never been a problem for me before that useless Xray experience. I'm lucky I've had no dental problems in 36 years, so it was only looking and scaling.
The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy” - I’m a little more than half way through the book. All the time I’m nodding my head yes, yes, to everything I’m reading. Feeling like someone is telling parts of my life, my secrets. Many times feeling so embarrassed, and then I’m crying, and then I’m like… Wow! Someone understands. Someone is saying what I’ve been trying to say. Feeling what I’ve been through. My whole life all I’ve ever wanted, all I ever hoped for was for someone to understood me. Someone who would just allow me to be myself. Whatever that might be. Honestly, I don’t even know what that is, or who. The nervous breakdown, suicidal attempts, running away from an abusive marriage, running away from an abusive family. All blaming me. Always feeling like I have to hide the war going on inside. I went to therapy and when asked what do you want to get out of therapy? I would feel like saying isn’t that your job? I would give up because I didn’t know how to explain what I needed, because I didn’t know what I needed. I thought I needed to be like everyone else. I didn’t understand why I was different, what was wrong with me. This book is like opening the can of worms and looking in and saying okay so it’s just a can with worms. It’s not something ugly, or some kind of monster. I can feel, and think, process, and respond differently and that is truly okay.
Feeling that it’s only you and everyone else can handle things is the worst part for me. I thought I hated myself, but really I just hated that I couldn’t be normal no matter how hard I tried and I tried HARD.
@ I agree. That feeling of something in the shadow alluding you where you just cannot reach it. And you think, but I’m trying so hard that I’m exhausted.
@NicoleBeelaard while reading this book I am constantly nodding, yes, yes, this is me. I read a little and then take time to think about it. For me it can be a bit overwhelming because so much of what is being said applies to me. I want to remember and get it. I might not be around people, but at least I know that there is a reason why I’m different. And in watching other videos I’ve found there are people out there making sense. Autism has a stigma but I think that will change. People in the past and some now only looked at the possibly worse cases. The hardest part is when they still expect me to be normal, when I just can’t be their version of normal.
@@donnaml8776 and the pitty/fear they look at me with. It’s like “You know I’ve ALWAYS been autistic, right?” I’m ecstatic to feel at home in my own skin for once. Over.the.moon but people who saw me over function look at me now like I’m sick when I FINALLY feel good!
That sounds like a super helpful book, thank you for sharing it! That longing to be understood and allowed to be oneself is so relatable. I'm glad to hear you've been able to find more acceptance for yourself. Hopefully you are able to find whatever support you need from others as well!
Honestly, this video was a breath of fresh air for me! I share your thoughts on all of this ❤
I am in the US and high masking at work (no labels shared). In a meeting with my manager (UK based) and coworker (Canada based), was told my manager's new boss has ADHD and is OCD regarding slides (e.g. particular about spacing and fonts). When I said "it's good to know he is neurodivergent" they both reacted badly saying I was being rude and should not repeat that outside the meeting because it sounded insulting. Not sure if their ignorant reaction or my manager being our business group's D&I ambassador was more ironic.
This is a great video. Very true and helpful.
I found the utility of labels before I was diagnosed; I am Bi and the Bi label is very useful for self-acceptance.
The same is also true for autism. It is easier to understand and accept it, even for myself, because of the label.
It further assists with beginning to create understanding in others.
I told my family and close friends about my suspected AuDHD. They all were very understanding. But what I felt improved things is not using labels but being able to better explain what is going on, how a loud, crowded bar feels to me. Though I guess, realising that the label adhd and autism fit me is what helped me figuring things out and putting it into words. (As a side note: to me the stock images are a little overdone in this video. Too many sequences of random, different pretty people looking pretty. )
with December tomorrow this video is great, I'm likely to share it with a few close people to help them understand my way of communicating and processing more - thank you :-)
These labels have been pretty positive for me. They helped when I was investigating my own neurodivergence, and now I've picked some they help with my self-esteem. Another label also helped my daughter communicate to me what she thought my sexuality actually is. I've been lucky with the people I've told about me probably being autistic, I've had a mostly very positive response. Even the labels I did have trouble with as a kid weren't the cause of that trouble but a symptom - "weird" and "fat" from the bullies, "slow", "bone-idle" and "a problem" from the teachers.
I find the label for empathy quite helpful, in both directions, as it also helps me understand better why sometimes my behaviour irritates or upsets people, and generally people I've told has been more understanding why and less upset, but also made me think more about my behaviour towards both neuro-divergent and neurotypical people, like my friend who hates being touched, albeit coming natural for me to do so, to tye point I'm not even realising I'm doing it. It takes practice, but because of increased shared understanding things are slowly improving.
For my own knowledge, labels have helped me understand more the reasons I have struggled, and given me more insight on how I can work on them.
However, not everyone else is going to depths to understand the nuances of particular labels. For example, I've had what I thought were close and understanding friends who get upset when I brought up the I recognized something that triggered my c/PTSD. I was actually told, "That [particular situation] was over 10 years ago. You need to get over it," followed by her saying everyone has trauma and her listing things she had to deal with in her life. [Everyone experiences trauma, agreed. Not everyone processes them equally.]
I digress, and apparently still bitter about that one....
But, I, too had such a preconception about what autism was and wasn't until I after a therapist brought up a possibility of autism for my son, then subsequently a different therapist for myself.
I was more fixated about the idea that people with autism had difficulty understanding facial expressions or feelings of others. I felt both of us excelled at tuning into a person's mood. This was despite hearing, "If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person."
I think the medical community itself has come a long way, even in the past decade or two of understanding what it is/isn't and that information hasn't made it's way out in the public quite yet. The portrayals of autism in the media generally represent where some of those diagnosable dials are turned on high, where it doesn't capture a more nuanced version of what it could be. I suppose it's easier writing when it is apparent to the outside world, rather than showing the complexities of what is happening inside of us. Showing a high-masking person doesn't really create a visual of the differences...
Uhhh...what was the question, again? 😂😂😂😂
I also had the epiphany this week that maybe I do excel at reading mood. However, looking over my history of relationships (all types), I haven't done so well with realizing people's intent, particularly deception.
it makes sense though, when you think about it because representations in the media are written by neuro-typical white men. Actors who play autistic people are also neuro-typical white men. How are we supposed to recognize it in ourselves?
I've only run into one person in my professional life who actually understands my autism is neither a superpower or a complete disability. We can actually joke about it
I don't know if anyone remembers that I was supposed to go get a screening to see if I have ADHD/autism or not, but here's the update.
They tested me for ADHD but didn't test me for autism. 🤨🙄 I guess I have some mild cognitive/learning disabilities, and they told me my PTSD could be the reason I'm having some problems and possibly not ADHD. So I'm back at square one. Still confused and still wondering if I'm just highly sensitive to my environment and other sensory input in general, or just (insert antisocial behavior adverb here). I'm not pursuing a diagnosis for paperwork sake, but more towards a possible different approach to how I can use coping skills and CBT better to handle life's little surprises and thorns.
Thank you for reading and for all of your support!
I do share my autism diagnosis, mostly in order to debunk stigmas.
Tried to explain to some friends that I have autism, because I felt it would help them understand me better. Because in the past they had made the comment that they didn’t understand me, plus they even went to someone else about it. Well, they just do not believe there is any other kind of thinking but neurotypical thinking and in the end they just said, “feel better?” My heart just sank. But, it’s okay, no one understood me before this won’t make any difference.
Those don’t sound like friends. I’m sorry. 😢❤️
@ most of the people I’ve known most of my life aren’t very considerate when it comes to anything mentally or emotionally. It’s hard because it doesn’t change who I am, I have always been autistic. It’s just now that I’m beginning to understand why I comprehend things a bit differently, and it takes me a bit more time to totally grasp it. It’s caused quite a bit of trauma for me.
@@MyFriendRuth One thing that I was just thinking about is how when I get nervous or anxious I get really tongue tied and feel like a fool because my mind goes completely blank. So when someone is asking for an explanation I can barely speak.
@@donnaml8776 I’m sorry. Yeah, I’ve been there too. It’s hard because I know about the thing I want to say but I can’t always get it out the way I want to.
Hang in there. I hope you can find some community. I am trying to find online and in-person community of people who are autistic. I am reminding myself it’s going to be a process.
@ Thank you. I appreciate that you can understand. I agree, It is a process. That’s what I keep telling myself too. I have “cognitive distortions” and I really don’t think of there being other ways. I know that there are other ways to think, but those other ways don’t come to me at that moment. I also have a processing disorder. I’m very black and white person. I have to be really careful when I speak because my mind is always going to the worse case scenarios. I get testy without realizing it.
You know, I never knew. My whole life, I’m in my 60’s and I knew something was very different from everyone else, but I never knew what it was. I never knew that I have autism, or a processing disorder, or cognitive distortion. I feel like I should have known, but I didn’t. It just makes so much sense now. It’s a relief to know. I’m trying to learn what I can, but because it hits so many triggers I have to take in a bit at a time and then walk away and allow my mind to process all of it.
Honestly, I feel like I’ve been through a battle. I want to make friends but honestly I don’t know what that looks, or feels like. But at least now I know what I need in a friendship, instead of being in a fog. Knowing helps me look for healthier friends. Ones who can accept that I have autism.
So far, I have shared my problems with problems with dyslexia and my mental health labels. And currently and I tell people this that I am self diagnosed autistic but will be tested after January so I share my labels. And let people know and I have not run into any negative responses.😊
Stellar content, as per usual!
On my last dentist appointment I commented to the hygienist that I'm happy I'm getting older as there, hopefully, will come a day when I won't be able to hear the high-pitched scream of the drill.
Can you wear noise-cancelling headphones? I have done that the last few times during cleanings along with wearing my own super-dark sunglasses, and it helps a lot. GL!
So whether to share labels in the UK is interesting. For children in the UK it's more acceptable but currently in the UK autism and adhd seems to be being stigmatised in late diagnosed adults. It's been exhausting and some politicians see us all as people want to claim benefits. I've worked all my life and faced challenges but never had any support or empathise as a result of anyone knowing I was aitustic. That said my autism and adhd has been great for my life in IT and energy governance. I can make changes to pre-existing things and make them better but have difficulty with a blank piece of paper. Returning some on a redlined document to improve it might have gone down better if they knew I was autustic
Yeah, the unfortunate truth is I think that most autistic people are treated as a problem rather than just being different. In reality, most people have a lot of problems too, but they don't have an offical label, so yeah...
@@march8482 they’re also better at “lying”. If they ask how I’m doing, I answer, not having learned before last week that most people don’t really want an answer to the question. 😂 I always answer and then when they seemed to put off by how much I said, I would feel why the f*** did you ask me then?? 😂
I would never expect them to keep feelings in, but that’s what they expect of us. I’ve only suspected for a bit over a month and got diagnosed officially two days ago. It’s not lost on me how fortunate I was to get a diagnosis that quickly.
I got my diagnosis about two months ago. I find it easier to share the diagnosis or label with people who are not very close to me, like my chiropractor or indeed a dentist. I am however very reluctant to share it with my current employer and my colleagues. I guess I'm afraid I'll get passed over with specific projects because of the assumption I can't perform to my former level anymore. Fortunately, I don't have to decide what to do just now, because I'm on sick leave for the next couple of months at least. But it does keep me busy 😐
Giving myself a label = self-diagnosis was extremely valid to be more compassionate with myself. However, only when this label got confirmed by an expert, it became believable for other people. But, it is only a first step. Now i admit to myself that i struggle. I also admit to others that I struggle. But i didn't manage to find any real support. Many people (both friends and employees of care centres) are more than willing to offer a helping hand, but only on a case-by case basis for solving single small problems, and only when I keep asking, which is both humiliating and exhausting. I would like to find structural support with finding and keeping employment. And someone who contacts me to see if I have any problems, not the other way round. The label doesn't help with that at all. I still struggle alone. And back in school I was mercilessly bullied - at a time when these labels didn't even exist. Later, I lost my job and my relationship because I didn't know about these labels, so I couldn't even explain that I struggled. Jobless, divorced, struggling financially from month to month, and hell lonely. That is what for me the label "late-diagnosed high masking autism" means.
Can really relate to a lot of what you said, but most especially "only when I keep asking, which is both humiliating and exhausting." Yes--yes, it is.
People who are different will often be picked on by other people, mainly because that's just evolution. I think children are 'programmed' to pick out (or exclude) other kids that have weak traits so the genetic pool stays strong. Kinda similar with birds, where the stronger birds will often overpower the weaker ones. When we get older, this behaviour, or instinct, gets largely replaced by what we are taught, though it still kinda remains. A label can act as an instrument or give validation to exclude people who act 'differently'. Of course it can help people, but it really is a double edged sword.
Weak traits? That is how it has been "labelled" so far. Time to to relabel.
@@debedde I didn't mean autistic traits, just weak traits in general. Everyone can have weak traits. Most autistic people actually have a lot of strong traits. It is just that (I think in general) those become apparant at a later age. And the lack in social development can overshadow those stronger traits at an early age.
All my life I'm told I label and I should not (stigmatising) To me it is a tool to unravel complicated issues. Just a tool. As a very late diagnosed neurodivergent person I finally start to see WHY I am different
Agreed. It was good to finally, at age 74, have an explanation for so many things over the course of my life. Labels help me make sense of the NT world -- I just want to be as sure as I can be before I label something.
I really like how you prensten things and you humor Chris. Good Work 🙂👍.
I totally agree that labels kan be harmful (especially If they are outdated), but for me it was so helpful to have new terms and words to describe things that I struggle with all my life as an undiagnosed Autistic person and it have made me gett the right support and understand my self a lott better after I started my journey and got diagnosed.for me its a difference between labels and helpful terminologi. watts your thoughts about that Chris?
I don't tell anyone at work. I did stop telling doctors but now I do. If you have a doctors and tell them. Thay treat you different cuz of the labels get a new doctor or have a talk with them. Remember you pay them.
If my office were next to an elevator, I think my brain would explode.
The part I'm not quite getting is that in a previous video you seemed to emphasize that there are hard boundaries between who is autistic and who is not. Now you're saying it's blurry and that autism can look a million different ways. This is pretty important for those of us who have experiences that don't quite fit with what others experience.
If I had even just a basic teeth cleaning I had to stay home from school and sleep it off the anxiety was so bad. The buzzing in my head made me feel like I was dying
It is still happening in U.S. schools as well!!!
😑😑😑
I am high functioning Autistic and i don’t use labels !!! I call it artistic and I have a Chanel that has loads of subs! I have a huge interest in plushies and I find plushies help me because they are very Calming .. keeping the brain Busy
Plushies are awesome!! And thanks for weighing in on this topic - we’re always interested in hearing opinions as this is one that is a challenging issue for many neurodivergent people around the world. To disclose or not to disclose - hopefully with better understanding, it doesn’t have to feel like such a loaded question for us all 😊
1994, 20 years it's been in DSM update serveral times. Major up in 2013 IRRC 2022 with TR5. Why can't these fact be on trivia night. I do get lucky every so often with some off beat bit of trivia I learned 16 years ago.
I didn´t like when people where labeling me growing up, because I felt it would become too restrictive, or would end up locked up in Arkham Asylium or something like that. I need a lot of alone time so being under servalience for longer time, would be difficult for me. It is even hard to be put in a hospital, I ended up burning out the last time, and needed a month to cool down afterwards. So the thought of being put in a home just because someone found it fun to call me autistic, that made me try to figure out why they would say that, so I could stop doing whatever it was. So no I don´t like labels.
please dont add those abrupt very loud clips... its a great video otherwise...😭
Got it! Didn’t realize the sound variation was so much until watching on a couple different devices - thanks for this feedback. Will adjust that for the future 🙂 and thanks for being here!
❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Neorotypical person: "I hate myself. Do you hate yourself too?"
Autistic person: "I hate myself. Do you hate me too?"
Labels help me - descriptions and explanations for everything that up until now has never made sense........and the dentist.......if I could avoid going for the rest of my life, I would. The drill, the scraping tools, the x-ray, holding my mouth open, the taste, not being able to swallow.........I hate all of it.......
where do you get your hoodies from? They look comfy
They ARE super comfy, so I have them in multiple colors...and multiples of certain colors too 😅 here's a link to get them: amzn.to/3ZmSkvw
@@ChrisandDebby Thank you! Love your videos!
My problem with this topic is the use of the term "label". Apparently it "describes or identifies" which is very generic. Labels make sentences much shorter, and as accurate as we need them to be if there is shared domain specific understanding. However, the use of the term label that we use here is very specific and not at all obvious to the unaware. I don't think we help ourselves using the word label, to explain these challenging issues. The irony that concepts that require careful use of lots of words to explain, should not be summarised with a label, yet we use the word label without explaining what we mean with careful use of lots of words. 😅
Don't feel bad... I thought autism meant mentally challenged before my and my son's diagnosis 🤦🏼♀️
I’ve already experienced plenty of bullying and harassment at work, so sharing my Autistic label in order to get accommodations is pretty much a step up regardless 😂The frustrating part is that I asked for similar things recommended in my diagnosis before I had any idea I was Autistic and they were ignored or shot down. I’m going to enjoy bringing them up again with documentation and the ADA behind me!
Is this video slightly sped up? 😅
Yes😂😂😂😊👍👌💐
When I go to dentist they have to put the weighted x-ray thing on me or I non stop talk or wiggle
I LOVE the weighted x ray vest blanket thing. They could leave that on me the entire time.
It’s almost like a weighted blanket! I feel like dentists’ offices would be a good place to have a weighted blanket… maybe a suggestion next time I go too 🤔
@@faeriesmak I asked for that about 15 years ago, and apparently It wasn't the first time they'd gotten that request, because they were very willing to leave it draped over me
@@ChrisandDebby That's a really good idea.
I hope I don't come off as a grammar Nazi but... maybe "ostracism"? 🙂
Where were you when we were working on this video 🤣 and wouldn’t have required so many takes from struggling with saying that word 😂 thanks for the input Ken!
@@ChrisandDebby 🙂
My dad knows im autistic and keeps saying its just an excuse 😢
I’m sorry! ❤
No
You sound a little ill Chris.
Why do you want to label yrself?
Well it’s not only a label but also a word, and what do words do?, they describe things. Putting a word on something helps me understand that something.
You wouldn’t stop someone from using other words to describe themselves or their experiences. « You shouldn’t label yrself as a blond because some reduce it to being pretty and dumb. » So no one will question me if I say: « I’m a woman, I’m 43yrs, I’m a teacher, I’m tall. » that’s all ok but if I say: « I’m autistic » that’s labeling myself ?
Words are ok to use even if some people are too… I don’t know exactly… to realize that you shouldn’t use words to generalize something. Being a woman for example doesn’t define everything about me and the word itself can imply so many different thing to different people. Hence I shouldn’t say that cause it could be used to generalize and label me?
Words aren’t the issue. Trying to express yrself accurately with the right words (an obsession for me as I rarely get my points across) isn’t the issue. People using words to generalize everything in such a not nuanced manner are the issue.
Sorry for the rent, this is an extremely frustrating subject for me. And I’m so glad you brought it up!!!!
Looks very interesting 👏👏👏🙏💙
Absolutely.
Thanks Brian!!! Hope you'll check it out soon and let us know what you think!