The hardest part of the game is even finding someone to play with. I don't ask for anything that I don't offer myself. But there are so, so few single women over 30 who aren't overweight, don't already have kids, are loyal and seeking a committed relationship, and don't have drug/alcohol problems or severe emotional issues. The competition for those few women is so fierce that it's difficult to even get a single date or phone number. And that is just the starting point for chemistry, personal values, etc... I feel so hopeless. I am successful in almost all other respects, but nobody really wants to spend their life alone.
Correct. It takes two, and this is often missed. It's almost always 'men do better'. It doesn't matter how well a man does, if he's working with chopped liver, it's not going to turn out well. And most 'good women' are taken and scooped up early on. By the time you're in your thirties or forties, as a man, you're dealing with damaged goods, even if you have done most everything the societal 'correct' way.
@@cnihtI agree. At some point, everyone does age out of the dating (with the intention to create a family) market. Advice says to take your time, outcome is many single and childless 40 year olds. Sadly, time doesn't wait for anyone. At a certain point, a man needs to determine what is their best course forward. Analysis paralysis is a cancer. Also, why narrow in on ladies specifically in their 30s? If the lady checks all the boxes, she is into you, and is happy to provide what you would like, does age really matter?
I couldn’t agree more my friend. I am once again at the stage of just resigning myself to the fact that it’s probably better to accept being alone and maybe just increase activities in social groups to get the interaction.
Date younger. Women get so much male attention that you are discovering the hard truth. If a woman is over 30 and single there is usually a good reason. Either she is not interested in a relationship; her standards are unrealistic compared to what she has to offer…or there are issues that make her a bad relationship risk.
@@kellygreeniiif men think 20 yr olds don't have baggage or difficulties & egos, they're kidding themselves. The reality is young ppl often lack the self-awareness to recognize what kinds of baggage they carry & by default, haven't even started the work to sort their mental & emotional sh*t yet.
I think you are pretty spot on. This is sort of the exact opposite of the advice that pickup artists give. [ makes sense, pickup artists want a night, you are giving advice for a long term relationship] Like (1) for example. Most of them say 'ignore her'. Maybe they overdo it, and they don't quite mean ignore, but just don't reply immediately to appear needy. With (2), many Chad types that are after one night will often put in very little effort. There is a video of Chads showing how easy it is for them to get hookups on dating apps, they even ask the girl to bring them stuff lol. I appreciate ladies like you. Most of the channels with ladies giving advice are very introverted and educated. Very self aware. You are a gem. World needs more ladies like you.
Experienced divorce lawyer here (Pennsylvania and New Jersey). Great video. My insight through my lens and experience: I am all for ambitious men dating and even getting into relationships with beautiful, playful, intelligent women. However, marriage (in most jurisdictions) contains a huge downside risk for ambitious, successful men. Keep state divorce laws OUT of your life and finances. Become the very best version of yourself. Attract, don’t chase. Dating: yes. Marriage: No. You can thank me later.
lol, what a sad state the world is in. There should be a burden of proof for divorce. It should not just be the women (most of the time) just deciding to end the relationship and take half the guys shit lol. At least a burden of proof to take a guys assets after divorce. I have no problem with two people going their own ways, but the lady shouldn't get to take all the stuff lol.
@@random19911004 Thanks for your comment. I do not see divorce laws changing anytime soon. The courts are too backlogged now without conducting trials to determine who is at fault. Staying single is the best defense against going through a messy divorce.
@@random19911004 Yeah, it's fucked that legally we have a contract in which one of the two party is culturally encouraged to massively gain from terminating the contract.
@@random19911004it’s not about the money ! It’s more about the kids! Some mums only care about themselves and the kids are used as weapon! As farther I can say that hurts like hell
I fully agree what honesty is important for men. I've had a policy of almost complete transparency. It has not worked out well for me. There is something about me that 90% of women are very prejudicial against. I am a Good man. I strive for virtue in all aspects of my life thoroughly. I am extremely harsh, borderline self abusive with my discipline. If I lie about this one particular fact about myself that 90% of women would disqualify me for, I think and feel that my many positive qualities could persuade them to like me. I am very conflicted. I feel like I could increase my success dramatically and get a girlfriend if I told one lie for the first couple months instead of telling it to her on or after the first date... I want to tell it before the first date, but then I'd never even get that.
Yes. I'm sure back in the day quality women were worth this amount of ego edifying effort. Definitely not today. Exhausting. Juice just not worth the squeeze. Plus, there are absolutely women who will do the exact opposite of all this to get with the guy she likes, just depends on the circumstances.
Again, you’re giving advice that works with healthy women of sound character. With other women, this is a recipe to get taken advantage of in the current environment.
Ummm, yeah. The whole point is being able to spot a good woman. Most dating advice these days is actually centered around attracting the crazies, shallow or insecure types. Take ignoring games for example... they play on an insecure person's fear of rejection & desire to be selected, not by you per se, but anyone because their self-worth is in being "picked". But since the games are a subtle display of NON-interest, they'll also drive off a good woman because who in their right mind will try to bulldoze past someone's boundaries? Stable ppl can handle a "no" whether it's in action or words, unstable ppl can't.
@@justacoginthefkery No. Most advice falls into Blue Pill (Romanticism) and Red pill (Evolutionary Psychology) categories. BP advice can work, if you are dealing with healthy women. Because with healthy, high-quality women, their psychology and cultural programming appear to run the show…because their biology has been pushed into the background. But it can re-emerge if you stress her hard enough and long enough. BP advice is disastrous when applied to low-quality, toxic or damaged women. You get sucked into their chaos and get taken advantage of. RP advice works with ALL women, because it is their basic, biological firmware. It just depends on how you use it. A good man using RP principles to establish and maintain a relationship looks VERY appealing to both healthy and damaged women. Because he retains the masculine edge that women find sexually attractive….while also carrying those good-man traits that women want in a long-term mate. RP gets a bad rap because it’s also very effective in short term mating with damaged or promiscuous women (spinning plates). But it’s only a problem to those women who have hit their “epiphany phase”…and are looking to put their “fun years” behind them and get married. IOW it doesn’t serve their interests or fit their time-table. So the they try to shame it out of existence, and get men back on the BP program. Which was designed to serve her interests at the expense of the man’s. The best advice is a marriage of the two (“Purple Pill”). Where you are RP aware, but also psychologically-aware. It positions you to get the clearest understanding of the biopsychosocial template of the woman in front of you. So you can both identify toxic/damaged women quickly and wall them off from your life…and capitalize quickly on any healthy women you encounter. Because you are dealing with how she is in reality. Not how an ideology is telling you how she should be, and what you should want. Like the milieu right now that is desperately trying to program men to find overweight and post-menopausal women “sexy”. … Because it serves the interests of those women…and not those of the man.
@@kellygreenii 🤣🤣🤣 so wrong. Modern RP teaches guys to use psychological manipulations & reduce themselves to shallow checkboxes based on materialism. Those actually diminish a guy's worth because they're not based on being honest, genuine or even a decent human, but rather the opposite. RP is just the opposite of modern feminists, but they both operate from the same silly place of bitterness (aka baggage). Such is why many end up divorced multiple times or bitter about life because all they do is fail. "You stress her enough"... you want to create trauma bonds of toxicity? Good luck! You're setting yourself up for failure as only damaged ppl with low self worth would play along. Even then, it would be temporary & chaotic. You're not supposed to be a place of stress for your partner. You want peace from them? You have to know how to create that with a healthy mindset. Stress builds resentment & more baggage for both sides so you're just shooting yourself in the foot. The funny & sad thing about RP is it's just another room within the fking matrix. That's evident by the fact that you're parroting what you've been fed to believe. If you want to learn how to move beyond programming, you should question everything, including your own ideology. The reality about RP is it tells men that it teaches the "truth about women & how they operate", but it actually doesn't. It takes the linear thought patterns & male perspective of life, then attempts to apply it to women. Only that doesn't work because men & women don't operate the same ways, even on a neurological level. What you're fed to think only makes sense to you because it plays on the linear male thought patterns rather than teaching you to think independently beyond the confines of the box. You're still stuck, you just don't know it yet.
@@justacoginthefkery You have no idea what Red pill actually is…so just stop projecting your fears and biases. Red pill is just slang for what is called “Evolutionary psychology”. (“SCIENCE!!!”) Which is that humans…like every other mammal for the last 65 million years…have biologically programmed mating instincts and strategies. That speak to us through our emotions. RP basically recognizes that women are generally attracted to signs of strength, competence, dominance, and biological fitness (health, intelligence, social and emotional intelligence). It also recognizes that women have a biological urge to try to secure the highest status, highest attractiveness male that is reasonably available to her as a mate. Also known as hypergamy. Thats it. That’s all Red Pill is. Men who are “RP aware” and actually ACCEPT the truth of it actually have better relationships with women. Because the have no expectations of being loved “unconditionally”… and they are positioned to give women what they actually need from a man rather than what they claim to want…but are never actually attracted to. What you have it mixed up with is GAME. Game is the art of human courtship. Humans are no different than any other animals. We have ritual behaviors that trigger our urges to mate and reproduce (courtship). Game is simply the recognition of those behaviors…and using them intentionally to clearly COMMUNICATE one’s intentions from one person to another. There is no manipulation or evil magic. Except in the eyes of people who don’t want to take responsibility for their actions, decisions and lack of impulse control. What game also does is that it teaches men how to read the subconscious signs of attraction that women give off so that they are less vulnerable to the manipulation of, and being exploited by toxic women In short. Game levels the playing field between men and women in the courtship dance. Which is why women resent it. Because it jams their radar in trying to find the guy who just “naturally gets it” ( that man doesn’t exist, we all have to learn game. It’s just that we learn it at different rates and to different levels of skill).
@@justacoginthefkery No. It only becomes manipulation when applied with evil intent. Without that it’s simply COMMUNICATION that presents women with a choice. But a choice that levels the playing field between women and men. Which is why some women resent it. It removes THEIR mating strategy and priorities from center stage.
That's an awful lot of things to do for "successful dating". I used to practice all of that. Dress nice. Give good chat. Being genuine. etc etc. Zero success with dating. Then I stopped caring about what women want and started focusing on me, and ignoring women. Suddenly I was being chased by women all over the place. Had some good long term relationships. The thing I discovered then is that when a woman is into you she ignores all her rules and standards. BTW That doesn't mean all the things SDM is listing aren't good things to practice. Self improvement and being your best is good. But do it for yourself. Not for some random woman who can't live up to her own expectations and is only measuring you by how you conform to her ideals. A good woman will see your worth without the need to put on a show for them.
For me, here in the U.K., different dating culture to the US BUT if you look good, you feel good and it’s then you exude confidence. Always take pride in your personal appearance. New sub Sarah, came across your videos and have spent hours watching. Great content, the one thing that irritates me tho, I get these dating guru videos suggested, they either have copied you or just chat complete nonsense, makes for,good comedic content only, x
my dad never attended any dating courses or something, and he has a successful 30+ year old marriage-of course that generation was different, women weren't that entitled and flakey-he says ''tough times for you, son''
@@streetsarecold but 30 yrs ago was a totally different time & social atmosphere. Most ppl took their time with vetting. Serial dating wasn't considered acceptable & you'd quickly get a rep for being a time-waster because everyone knew everyone. Ppl didn't freaked out with wild assumptions if you didn't respond to a call within 2 hrs.
I disagree with this video. The men who win at the dating game today are the men who select from the ladies who have already chosen them. They are not chasing women who show no interest. Too many men chase women who just are not interested in them. Women tend to be polite to avoid confrontation, and many men missunderstand politeness as an indication of him being just a "nice guy". The majority of the ladies will clear their schedule for someone that they see as high value. If a man needs to set up a date several days in advance plus constantly follow up regarding the date, the lady has other men that she is doing the best that she can with because she values them more. This is a first or a second date being discussed here, not a marriage proposal. Her making the guy jump through many hoops for a first date is simply a polite way of her saying "Chad might call, so I will keep you posted"
I would’ve finished college, but I wasn’t getting results with women and my grades suffered, I wasn’t getting better with women, so I had to drink to fix my approach anxiety, I then ate bad food, I got fat, went into type 2 diabetic coma, went to the gym, lost 200 pounds. Then stopped because I wasn’t getting any results with women. I was studying, but no results with women. I cannot do anything or accomplish anything because I do it because I want to be a dad, and wanted to get women. I still have no results with women, so all of the positive things about me are slipping away, why? Say it with me boys and girls, “no results with women!!” Very good! Just a crumb of positive affection would’ve been enough but I didn’t even get that, so now what do I do with my life? Why am I even alive? You see dating and women have broken me, I get it now, you don’t like me. So what’s the point of going to work? Reading? Striving? Having friends? Going outside? Breathing? I never wanted to be rich and famous, I wanted to be a dad like my dad was, and I wanted a woman who wanted to be intimate with me, I didn’t say rich, and I didn’t say famous, and I didn’t say be a player.
* To "win" there must be competition, and quite the opposite to being authentic. * When a man gives something nice to a women on a date, the women will expect "that quality" to continue, and even get better. She may disguise your level of interest in being the quality that you will perform, forever. So guys, know this about women, and pace yourself. * Be true to yourself; be authentic. Don't paint a picture that isn't real, just to get close to her. * The best relationships are the ones in which you've known them for a while. Online dating for most have proven to be destructive on one's over-all emotional well being. * Building attraction, and providing safety is something that is taught from 2 parents; a guy needs to learn this from his dad, mom knows nothing about the sacred masculinity, and how her son needs to perform from it. * Sarah, as you go on in this post you're still projecting a picture that all men need to become... A top shelf man; the finished product. Becoming for a mature man, is a life long journey. And you're teaching women to look for the finished product, and not how to hear the sincere man on his quest.
Hi Sarah, I like your videos. It's hard to feel out how fast a woman wants to move forward. I found it interesting that it is easier to get aid than to get a second or third date. And I'm not looking for hookups or one night. I always tell them that. Many women out there unfortunately not into the long term relations even though that's what they say they are looking for.
Go back and listen to your program. You did the last before this one and then listen to this one and see what the difference is in what you're saying is
All spot on. BE INTERESTED, fun, capable, busy, do not keep texting - if she does make her wait . Do not call unless you want to make an arrangement.....Have a Life. You are not always available. Do not chase. Show interest but not obsession. spend time with friends and by yourself. Have hobbies or interests. DO NOT BE PUSHY - be receptive and easy going. Never EVER be boastful or arrogant. Maintain your standards. Do not be argumentative, just say nothing. YES take rejection and walk away NOT BOTHERED. FOR CONFIDENCE read CAPABILITY...able to handle situations with calm power. ALWAYS PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA. She is NOT UNIQUE!!!!! Good luck!!!
right if a guy isnt honest about what he wants a lady can sniff it out pretty fast,just like they cant sniff out whether or not a guy is the badboy type or not.thats why when a lady says i didnt know he was that way is usually not being honest.another thing a lady usually knows if she is interested in a guy in the first 5 minutes of meeting that person.its about looks or status for ladies.
The hard fact men over a certain age experience is that we're not meeting an available woman with relationship possibilities every week. Maybe every 7 months, if that.
I completely get what you're saying and I completely agree with most of what you were saying. But recently watching your videos and watching a couple of other people's videos I wonder if you would give some examples on how to go about doing some of the stuff that you were saying as some of the stuff in this video you don't touch on you just say to do how do you do give a few examples please
I always love your talks. You are always right on target. You are a straight shooter and always say it like it needs to be said. Thank you for being you!
Winning the dateing game that is so hard it's a game no woman will ever want you to win. The rules change as fast as she can change her underwear. There's More traps and mind games with the dateing game There's more ways to lose than win. Why is it like this it's because women don't want you to win .
I vibe with a lot of what you say in other videos Sarah, but this one seems to be in line with what women say they want, not what they respond to. And that’s a big distinction. 1.) 100% agree with you on moving at a girls pace for a relationship.. that’s their department… but as far as getting physical, if there’s nothing physical happening by date 3, then it just shows a lack of interest from her part and the guy might be wasting his time.. there needs to be a boundary from men on what they want and how far they are willing to wait. A man’s gotta eat, and if her restaurant is closed, I’ll dine elsewhere.
Then don't be surprised if you can't find one with a body count under 50. That's the crazy thing... guys don't want a woman who is "ran through" but when they find one, they expect to be allowed to run through them just because lol. Dudes would rather spend several yrs chasing 304s than wait a few weeks to build trust with a potential quality partner. There needs to be boundaries, sure, but boundaries are about self-protection & avoiding toxic ppl, not self-entitlement or getting laid.
@@derwoodhamburger your assumptions don't apply to all women though. Just like there are some men who intentionally hold themselves to a higher standard.
@@derwoodhamburger No, not ''Most'' Women, many are shy, have been hurt/used; Your talking about a fairly small subset (growing rapidly); They get ''played'' then they become players, the cycle grows...
I've spent 6 hours and almost 2000 USD planning a second date just to be ghosted. Men have to message at best hundreds, at worst thousands of girls to find a girlfriend. Excuse me if our messages aren't super original. I didn't grow up with electronic devices and until I entered the dating market I used phones to communicate with family members and co-workers. The price women pay for a date is 2 hours of their life. Men pay far greater cost. I've driven upwards of 6½ hours, both ways for a date. That meant I had to book a hotel room so I could get some sleep before driving home after the date.
Well, Sarah, overall good advices and wonderful presented. But first of all they NEVER helped me at all (I was following them already 30 years ago when I was 20 and shy. So they are not new, really not). Secondly, today, with a divorce rate of 80% initiated by women and their ability to take half of from what a man worked for, it is simply not worth it any longer. Third: Text conversation, I had to laugh so loud now. Women answering in chats? Very rare. Example: I wrote like 3 sentences and w-questions and all that comes back is 'hey'. And then silence. Fourth: A friendzoned man very very rarely becomes an intimate partner. Fifth: Only the 'perfect' men are = 100% of men, so, yes there are only perfect men for today's women (100% = top 20 or whatever men, the rest are 'slaves' or 'robots' or I don't know) Sixth: Where is the video in oppsite direction? I really want to know what women have to bring to the table. Afterwards I can compare those two videos.
I’ve watched my fair share of TH-cam advise vids on dating, relation dynamics and women. You really stand out Sarah, my compliments. Well articulated and classy presented truth bombs coming from the heart and an intelligent and experienced mind.
All good points, Sarah. I see it difficult to be able to follow and be everyone of the tips. Even though you say looks do not matter to women, they do, but notvas much as it does for men.
yeah a girl rejected me once and later asked me later 2times why I didn't try to ask her out again-I'm like ''nah ain't wasting my time with games''
AMEN TO THAT SHIT !!
Are you NUTS? She has let you know she IS up for it TWICE! SHE has seen qualities in you she missed before.
The hardest part of the game is even finding someone to play with. I don't ask for anything that I don't offer myself. But there are so, so few single women over 30 who aren't overweight, don't already have kids, are loyal and seeking a committed relationship, and don't have drug/alcohol problems or severe emotional issues. The competition for those few women is so fierce that it's difficult to even get a single date or phone number. And that is just the starting point for chemistry, personal values, etc... I feel so hopeless. I am successful in almost all other respects, but nobody really wants to spend their life alone.
Correct. It takes two, and this is often missed.
It's almost always 'men do better'. It doesn't matter how well a man does, if he's working with chopped liver, it's not going to turn out well. And most 'good women' are taken and scooped up early on. By the time you're in your thirties or forties, as a man, you're dealing with damaged goods, even if you have done most everything the societal 'correct' way.
@@cnihtI agree.
At some point, everyone does age out of the dating (with the intention to create a family) market. Advice says to take your time, outcome is many single and childless 40 year olds.
Sadly, time doesn't wait for anyone. At a certain point, a man needs to determine what is their best course forward. Analysis paralysis is a cancer.
Also, why narrow in on ladies specifically in their 30s? If the lady checks all the boxes, she is into you, and is happy to provide what you would like, does age really matter?
I couldn’t agree more my friend. I am once again at the stage of just resigning myself to the fact that it’s probably better to accept being alone and maybe just increase activities in social groups to get the interaction.
Date younger. Women get so much male attention that you are discovering the hard truth. If a woman is over 30 and single there is usually a good reason. Either she is not interested in a relationship; her standards are unrealistic compared to what she has to offer…or there are issues that make her a bad relationship risk.
@@kellygreeniiif men think 20 yr olds don't have baggage or difficulties & egos, they're kidding themselves. The reality is young ppl often lack the self-awareness to recognize what kinds of baggage they carry & by default, haven't even started the work to sort their mental & emotional sh*t yet.
Just like the movie War Games, the only way to win the game is not to play.
I think you are pretty spot on.
This is sort of the exact opposite of the advice that pickup artists give. [ makes sense, pickup artists want a night, you are giving advice for a long term relationship]
Like (1) for example. Most of them say 'ignore her'. Maybe they overdo it, and they don't quite mean ignore, but just don't reply immediately to appear needy.
With (2), many Chad types that are after one night will often put in very little effort. There is a video of Chads showing how easy it is for them to get hookups on dating apps, they even ask the girl to bring them stuff lol.
I appreciate ladies like you. Most of the channels with ladies giving advice are very introverted and educated. Very self aware. You are a gem. World needs more ladies like you.
Some of your younger viewers will ask, "What's a Rolodex?" 🙂
Experienced divorce lawyer here (Pennsylvania and New Jersey). Great video. My insight through my lens and experience: I am all for ambitious men dating and even getting into relationships with beautiful, playful, intelligent women. However, marriage (in most jurisdictions) contains a huge downside risk for ambitious, successful men. Keep state divorce laws OUT of your life and finances. Become the very best version of yourself. Attract, don’t chase. Dating: yes. Marriage: No. You can thank me later.
lol, what a sad state the world is in.
There should be a burden of proof for divorce. It should not just be the women (most of the time) just deciding to end the relationship and take half the guys shit lol.
At least a burden of proof to take a guys assets after divorce. I have no problem with two people going their own ways, but the lady shouldn't get to take all the stuff lol.
@@random19911004 Thanks for your comment. I do not see divorce laws changing anytime soon. The courts are too backlogged now without conducting trials to determine who is at fault. Staying single is the best defense against going through a messy divorce.
@@random19911004 Yeah, it's fucked that legally we have a contract in which one of the two party is culturally encouraged to massively gain from terminating the contract.
Should have read this advice 20 y ago ! Agree marriage never again! Never ever 🎉
@@random19911004it’s not about the money ! It’s more about the kids! Some mums only care about themselves and the kids are used as weapon! As farther I can say that hurts like hell
I fully agree what honesty is important for men. I've had a policy of almost complete transparency. It has not worked out well for me. There is something about me that 90% of women are very prejudicial against. I am a Good man. I strive for virtue in all aspects of my life thoroughly. I am extremely harsh, borderline self abusive with my discipline. If I lie about this one particular fact about myself that 90% of women would disqualify me for, I think and feel that my many positive qualities could persuade them to like me. I am very conflicted. I feel like I could increase my success dramatically and get a girlfriend if I told one lie for the first couple months instead of telling it to her on or after the first date... I want to tell it before the first date, but then I'd never even get that.
The best strategy is dont play
yeah take Homie the clown's advice ..Homie don't play that !!
Yes. I'm sure back in the day quality women were worth this amount of ego edifying effort. Definitely not today. Exhausting. Juice just not worth the squeeze. Plus, there are absolutely women who will do the exact opposite of all this to get with the guy she likes, just depends on the circumstances.
Again, you’re giving advice that works with healthy women of sound character. With other women, this is a recipe to get taken advantage of in the current environment.
Ummm, yeah. The whole point is being able to spot a good woman. Most dating advice these days is actually centered around attracting the crazies, shallow or insecure types. Take ignoring games for example... they play on an insecure person's fear of rejection & desire to be selected, not by you per se, but anyone because their self-worth is in being "picked". But since the games are a subtle display of NON-interest, they'll also drive off a good woman because who in their right mind will try to bulldoze past someone's boundaries? Stable ppl can handle a "no" whether it's in action or words, unstable ppl can't.
@@justacoginthefkery No.
Most advice falls into Blue Pill (Romanticism) and Red pill (Evolutionary Psychology) categories.
BP advice can work, if you are dealing with healthy women. Because with healthy, high-quality women, their psychology and cultural programming appear to run the show…because their biology has been pushed into the background. But it can re-emerge if you stress her hard enough and long enough.
BP advice is disastrous when applied to low-quality, toxic or damaged women. You get sucked into their chaos and get taken advantage of.
RP advice works with ALL women, because it is their basic, biological firmware. It just depends on how you use it. A good man using RP principles to establish and maintain a relationship looks VERY appealing to both healthy and damaged women.
Because he retains the masculine edge that women find sexually attractive….while also carrying those good-man traits that women want in a long-term mate.
RP gets a bad rap because it’s also very effective in short term mating with damaged or promiscuous women (spinning plates). But it’s only a problem to those women who have hit their “epiphany phase”…and are looking to put their “fun years” behind them and get married. IOW it doesn’t serve their interests or fit their time-table. So the they try to shame it out of existence, and get men back on the BP program. Which was designed to serve her interests at the expense of the man’s.
The best advice is a marriage of the two (“Purple Pill”). Where you are RP aware, but also psychologically-aware. It positions you to get the clearest understanding of the biopsychosocial template of the woman in front of you. So you can both identify toxic/damaged women quickly and wall them off from your life…and capitalize quickly on any healthy women you encounter.
Because you are dealing with how she is in reality. Not how an ideology is telling you how she should be, and what you should want. Like the milieu right now that is desperately trying to program men to find overweight and post-menopausal women “sexy”. …
Because it serves the interests of those women…and not those of the man.
@@kellygreenii 🤣🤣🤣 so wrong. Modern RP teaches guys to use psychological manipulations & reduce themselves to shallow checkboxes based on materialism. Those actually diminish a guy's worth because they're not based on being honest, genuine or even a decent human, but rather the opposite. RP is just the opposite of modern feminists, but they both operate from the same silly place of bitterness (aka baggage). Such is why many end up divorced multiple times or bitter about life because all they do is fail.
"You stress her enough"... you want to create trauma bonds of toxicity? Good luck! You're setting yourself up for failure as only damaged ppl with low self worth would play along. Even then, it would be temporary & chaotic. You're not supposed to be a place of stress for your partner. You want peace from them? You have to know how to create that with a healthy mindset. Stress builds resentment & more baggage for both sides so you're just shooting yourself in the foot.
The funny & sad thing about RP is it's just another room within the fking matrix. That's evident by the fact that you're parroting what you've been fed to believe. If you want to learn how to move beyond programming, you should question everything, including your own ideology. The reality about RP is it tells men that it teaches the "truth about women & how they operate", but it actually doesn't. It takes the linear thought patterns & male perspective of life, then attempts to apply it to women. Only that doesn't work because men & women don't operate the same ways, even on a neurological level. What you're fed to think only makes sense to you because it plays on the linear male thought patterns rather than teaching you to think independently beyond the confines of the box. You're still stuck, you just don't know it yet.
@@justacoginthefkery You have no idea what Red pill actually is…so just stop projecting your fears and biases.
Red pill is just slang for what is called “Evolutionary psychology”. (“SCIENCE!!!”) Which is that humans…like every other mammal for the last 65 million years…have biologically programmed mating instincts and strategies. That speak to us through our emotions.
RP basically recognizes that women are generally attracted to signs of strength, competence, dominance, and biological fitness (health, intelligence, social and emotional intelligence). It also recognizes that women have a biological urge to try to secure the highest status, highest attractiveness male that is reasonably available to her as a mate.
Also known as hypergamy. Thats it. That’s all Red Pill is. Men who are “RP aware” and actually ACCEPT the truth of it actually have better relationships with women. Because the have no expectations of being loved “unconditionally”… and they are positioned to give women what they actually need from a man rather than what they claim to want…but are never actually attracted to.
What you have it mixed up with is GAME. Game is the art of human courtship. Humans are no different than any other animals. We have ritual behaviors that trigger our urges to mate and reproduce (courtship). Game is simply the recognition of those behaviors…and using them intentionally to clearly COMMUNICATE one’s intentions from one person to another.
There is no manipulation or evil magic. Except in the eyes of people who don’t want to take responsibility for their actions, decisions and lack of impulse control. What game also does is that it teaches men how to read the subconscious signs of attraction that women give off so that they are less vulnerable to the manipulation of, and being exploited by toxic women
In short. Game levels the playing field between men and women in the courtship dance. Which is why women resent it. Because it jams their radar in trying to find the guy who just “naturally gets it” ( that man doesn’t exist, we all have to learn game. It’s just that we learn it at different rates and to different levels of skill).
@@justacoginthefkery No. It only becomes manipulation when applied with evil intent. Without that it’s simply COMMUNICATION that presents women with a choice. But a choice that levels the playing field between women and men. Which is why some women resent it. It removes THEIR mating strategy and priorities from center stage.
That's a lot of material to keep in mind to be successful in the dating market.
Don't worry most women you meet, will have an even longer list.
All good stuff. Learn it!
That's an awful lot of things to do for "successful dating". I used to practice all of that. Dress nice. Give good chat. Being genuine. etc etc. Zero success with dating. Then I stopped caring about what women want and started focusing on me, and ignoring women. Suddenly I was being chased by women all over the place. Had some good long term relationships. The thing I discovered then is that when a woman is into you she ignores all her rules and standards. BTW That doesn't mean all the things SDM is listing aren't good things to practice. Self improvement and being your best is good. But do it for yourself. Not for some random woman who can't live up to her own expectations and is only measuring you by how you conform to her ideals. A good woman will see your worth without the need to put on a show for them.
Thank you Sarah for the advice and your video deserves more likes.
I've decided that learning Quantum mechanics is far more easy to learn ;D
I wish i had start this when i was 13....
"Wave-particle duality".
For me, here in the U.K., different dating culture to the US BUT if you look good, you feel good and it’s then you exude confidence. Always take pride in your personal appearance. New sub Sarah, came across your videos and have spent hours watching. Great content, the one thing that irritates me tho, I get these dating guru videos suggested, they either have copied you or just chat complete nonsense, makes for,good comedic content only, x
As a dude that works all the time I love what I do , this thing about getting lessons on how to date confuse me..
my dad never attended any dating courses or something, and he has a successful 30+ year old marriage-of course that generation was different, women weren't that entitled and flakey-he says ''tough times for you, son''
@@streetsarecold Your father is a realist and an honest man.
@@streetsarecold but 30 yrs ago was a totally different time & social atmosphere. Most ppl took their time with vetting. Serial dating wasn't considered acceptable & you'd quickly get a rep for being a time-waster because everyone knew everyone. Ppl didn't freaked out with wild assumptions if you didn't respond to a call within 2 hrs.
Very informative Mrs.Sarah..ty
Most people are too lazy to take the time and actually do the work to create a good relationship, they want fast food. 😱
I disagree with this video. The men who win at the dating game today are the men who select from the ladies who have already chosen them. They are not chasing women who show no interest.
Too many men chase women who just are not interested in them. Women tend to be polite to avoid confrontation, and many men missunderstand politeness as an indication of him being just a "nice guy".
The majority of the ladies will clear their schedule for someone that they see as high value.
If a man needs to set up a date several days in advance plus constantly follow up regarding the date, the lady has other men that she is doing the best that she can with because she values them more. This is a first or a second date being discussed here, not a marriage proposal. Her making the guy jump through many hoops for a first date is simply a polite way of her saying "Chad might call, so I will keep you posted"
Top tier comment!
You're coming at it from the wrong angle. It's not a game. It's two people partnering to create a living work of art. That's a dance.
I was happily married for nearly 38 years & she died. I now cannot fathom trying to date, again. So, I’m going my own way
I would’ve finished college, but I wasn’t getting results with women and my grades suffered, I wasn’t getting better with women, so I had to drink to fix my approach anxiety, I then ate bad food, I got fat, went into type 2 diabetic coma, went to the gym, lost 200 pounds. Then stopped because I wasn’t getting any results with women. I was studying, but no results with women. I cannot do anything or accomplish anything because I do it because I want to be a dad, and wanted to get women. I still have no results with women, so all of the positive things about me are slipping away, why? Say it with me boys and girls, “no results with women!!” Very good! Just a crumb of positive affection would’ve been enough but I didn’t even get that, so now what do I do with my life? Why am I even alive? You see dating and women have broken me, I get it now, you don’t like me. So what’s the point of going to work? Reading? Striving? Having friends? Going outside? Breathing? I never wanted to be rich and famous, I wanted to be a dad like my dad was, and I wanted a woman who wanted to be intimate with me, I didn’t say rich, and I didn’t say famous, and I didn’t say be a player.
* To "win" there must be competition, and quite the opposite to being authentic.
* When a man gives something nice to a women on a date, the women will expect "that quality" to continue, and even get better. She may disguise your level of interest in being the quality that you will perform, forever. So guys, know this about women, and pace yourself.
* Be true to yourself; be authentic. Don't paint a picture that isn't real, just to get close to her.
* The best relationships are the ones in which you've known them for a while. Online dating for most have proven to be destructive on one's over-all emotional well being.
* Building attraction, and providing safety is something that is taught from 2 parents; a guy needs to learn this from his dad, mom knows nothing about the sacred masculinity, and how her son needs to perform from it.
* Sarah, as you go on in this post you're still projecting a picture that all men need to become... A top shelf man; the finished product. Becoming for a mature man, is a life long journey. And you're teaching women to look for the finished product, and not how to hear the sincere man on his quest.
Hi Sarah, I like your videos. It's hard to feel out how fast a woman wants to move forward. I found it interesting that it is easier to get aid than to get a second or third date. And I'm not looking for hookups or one night. I always tell them that. Many women out there unfortunately not into the long term relations even though that's what they say they are looking for.
Go back and listen to your program. You did the last before this one and then listen to this one and see what the difference is in what you're saying is
Best video in a while. Good stuff!
Of all the things that are red flags for me when dating women it is "confidence". If you had said "competence and humility" I would be with you.
All spot on. BE INTERESTED, fun, capable, busy, do not keep texting - if she does make her wait . Do not call unless you want to make an arrangement.....Have a Life. You are not always available. Do not chase. Show interest but not obsession. spend time with friends and by yourself. Have hobbies or interests. DO NOT BE PUSHY - be receptive and easy going. Never EVER be boastful or arrogant.
Maintain your standards. Do not be argumentative, just say nothing. YES take rejection and walk away NOT BOTHERED.
FOR CONFIDENCE read CAPABILITY...able to handle situations with calm power.
ALWAYS PLENTY MORE FISH IN THE SEA. She is NOT UNIQUE!!!!! Good luck!!!
Great advice Sarah!
The woman I love is beautiful. I got inside her heart today. Slow progress. I unconditionally love her. She is maturing, and it is great.
It takes 2 to play this game, what use is know rules of the game if you don't get to play?
right if a guy isnt honest about what he wants a lady can sniff it out pretty fast,just like they cant sniff out whether or not a guy is the badboy type or not.thats why when a lady says i didnt know he was that way is usually not being honest.another thing a lady usually knows if she is interested in a guy in the first 5 minutes of meeting that person.its about looks or status for ladies.
The hard fact men over a certain age experience is that we're not meeting an available woman with relationship possibilities every week. Maybe every 7 months, if that.
I completely get what you're saying and I completely agree with most of what you were saying. But recently watching your videos and watching a couple of other people's videos I wonder if you would give some examples on how to go about doing some of the stuff that you were saying as some of the stuff in this video you don't touch on you just say to do how do you do give a few examples please
Gracias!!!
I always love your talks. You are always right on target. You are a straight shooter and always say it like it needs to be said. Thank you for being you!
So I'm not worth dating as I am, and at 50 it will be years of work to make myself even nearly datable?
I needed to be reminded of this.
Winning the dateing game that is so hard it's a game no woman will ever want you to win. The rules change as fast as she can change her underwear. There's More traps and mind games with the dateing game There's more ways to lose than win. Why is it like this it's because women don't want you to win .
I vibe with a lot of what you say in other videos Sarah, but this one seems to be in line with what women say they want, not what they respond to. And that’s a big distinction.
1.) 100% agree with you on moving at a girls pace for a relationship.. that’s their department… but as far as getting physical, if there’s nothing physical happening by date 3, then it just shows a lack of interest from her part and the guy might be wasting his time.. there needs to be a boundary from men on what they want and how far they are willing to wait. A man’s gotta eat, and if her restaurant is closed, I’ll dine elsewhere.
Then don't be surprised if you can't find one with a body count under 50. That's the crazy thing... guys don't want a woman who is "ran through" but when they find one, they expect to be allowed to run through them just because lol. Dudes would rather spend several yrs chasing 304s than wait a few weeks to build trust with a potential quality partner. There needs to be boundaries, sure, but boundaries are about self-protection & avoiding toxic ppl, not self-entitlement or getting laid.
Most women were quick to 'have fun' with other men/dates but now she wants to make you wait. That's when you know the 'fun' is over
@@derwoodhamburger your assumptions don't apply to all women though. Just like there are some men who intentionally hold themselves to a higher standard.
@@derwoodhamburger No, not ''Most'' Women, many are shy, have been hurt/used; Your talking about a fairly small subset (growing rapidly); They get ''played'' then they become players, the cycle grows...
@@R0d_1984 it's a vicious cycle
i can win any game in Dating Women
I've spent 6 hours and almost 2000 USD planning a second date just to be ghosted.
Men have to message at best hundreds, at worst thousands of girls to find a girlfriend. Excuse me if our messages aren't super original. I didn't grow up with electronic devices and until I entered the dating market I used phones to communicate with family members and co-workers.
The price women pay for a date is 2 hours of their life. Men pay far greater cost. I've driven upwards of 6½ hours, both ways for a date. That meant I had to book a hotel room so I could get some sleep before driving home after the date.
If this is all true, you're a fool.
Luck you, If that would have worked you would have needed 1 million for 10th anniversary.
Well, Sarah, overall good advices and wonderful presented. But first of all they NEVER helped me at all (I was following them already 30 years ago when I was 20 and shy. So they are not new, really not). Secondly, today, with a divorce rate of 80% initiated by women and their ability to take half of from what a man worked for, it is simply not worth it any longer. Third: Text conversation, I had to laugh so loud now. Women answering in chats? Very rare. Example: I wrote like 3 sentences and w-questions and all that comes back is 'hey'. And then silence. Fourth: A friendzoned man very very rarely becomes an intimate partner. Fifth: Only the 'perfect' men are = 100% of men, so, yes there are only perfect men for today's women (100% = top 20 or whatever men, the rest are 'slaves' or 'robots' or I don't know) Sixth: Where is the video in oppsite direction? I really want to know what women have to bring to the table. Afterwards I can compare those two videos.
Maybe she can make a video to give women advice on how to reply to text messages. Everyone gives men advice.
Hey Sarah Dawn. I have a success story for you.
Dont bother.Only get ripped off .I have been there.Sorry i dont trust.
The game is rigged, the best way is not to participate in it.
My Birthday is This Week i,m turning 42 And Still Single Women Comment Please who interested in or close to Ohio
Yes this is a dating app...
Good luck.
Dont bother.All golddiggers.
Dating these days is way too much work with too high expectation. My job requires less work.. Thank goodness for FWB..
"Answer what she is asking in return"
... She can do that? Coulda fooled me ...
I’ve watched my fair share of TH-cam advise vids on dating, relation dynamics and women. You really stand out Sarah, my compliments. Well articulated and classy presented truth bombs coming from the heart and an intelligent and experienced mind.
Great show, thanks
All good points, Sarah. I see it difficult to be able to follow and be everyone of the tips.
Even though you say looks do not matter to women, they do, but notvas much as it does for men.