I actually feel like I’m trans but I’m just afraid of going out into the real world as a trans man , it seems scary and dangerous, when a lady try’s to flirt with me thinking that im a cis male then having to disclose I’m trans everytime , it’s like the lady loses interest and that’s something I hate going through
you can totally donate pants that have been repaired! i’m a costume designer in training and i feel really strongly about repairing my clothes until they are literally unusable. if the pants still function as pants, someone can find a use for them (or even reuse the fabric for something else!)
I have a green polo shirt that has been my "lucky" shirt since ninth grade. It was one of my first men's shirts and I loved how it made me look and feel. It was one of the first pieces of clothing that made me feel like myself and I've had it since before I cut my hair. It was the shirt I wore on my first day of ninth grade, when I took my driver's test, during senior photos, and it was the shirt I wore the day I moved onto my college campus freshmen year (it's in the picture on my college id). When I got my first binder, that was the first shirt I wore with it. I hope it still fits after I finally get top surgery. It's been with me during my entire transition, even the parts when I didn't have the language to put to it.
Long time viewer, first time commenter. So embarrassing to write a sappy parasocial comment but your reflections have inspired me. As a 21 y/o queer trans nerd, your videos have gotten me through so much- questioning, coming out, and now, as of a couple weeks ago, starting T. I even showed my parents some of your content to explain fertility preservation and testosterone timelines; they’ve referred to you as an example of what they hope I can become. I think it’s a silly little world we live in where a random stranger can impact one’s life through videos, but I wanted to thank you for the role you have played in my journey. Less sappy: drop the workout routine king! personally working on doing one (1) pull-up rn…
Awww well consider this no longer 100% parasocial because I was touched enough by this comment to send it to my bf (he is the top recipient of all of the sappy comments that make my day). It makes me so happy to hear this. I remember the TH-camrs back in the day who helped me feel excited about my journey and I love knowing I've been able to serve that role for someone else ♥️
This inspires me so much as a trans guy very much pre transition and just taking the first few steps towards presenting more masculine. I just got my first men’s pants which feels like a huge achievement even though it’s definitely not and they feel so good but imagining that someday I won’t have to try to hide my body with very carefully chosen clothes is so comforting, it definitely gives me a little hope for the future
I remember my first men's pants so fondly!! It's definitely a huge achievement. All of these clothing changes are so special in helping us find authenticity. I'm so happy to hear this gave you some hope 🥰
I’m not a trans man, I’m AMAB agender who’s kind of masc presenting for now at least, but so much of the emotions you put into this video (and all of your videos tbh) feel so familiar and powerful too, even if the details aren’t exactly what I experience. That feeling of your body changing into something you actually really love is beautiful to me and gives me so much hope, and I love your videos so much for being so vulnerable with those experiences and emotions, they’re so valuable especially for baby transes like me.
I love to hear this! It's so special how trans people share many of these deep emotions even if we all have very different lived experiences. It makes me feel really part of a community to hear all the similarities I have with trans people from all different paths.
I LOVE your enthusiasm, it screams happiness. I am 4 months on T and I've been noticing some body changes, clothes getting tight at some parts and loose on others and it all just feels right. I am loving your videos and the true honesty that you show when talking about your transition and everything. Please, keep posting! I've already recommended your videos to a friend who is questioning their gender because I know it's going to be very helpful. Cheers, bro ❤
im an 18 year old trans man living in the southern us. Im currently going through the process of getting testosterone. I see myself in so much that you say, im so incredibly thankful for these videos that you upload. Its easy to feel like im completely alone out here.
loved this video!! having top surgery in a few days and im reevaluating my relationship with my clothing and it's definitely a unique aspect of transitioning that doesn't get discussed much and loved listening to your thoughts and your stories with your shirts!
This story is so inspiring to me! I have a green men's small shirt that affirmed me when I was just 17-years-old and out shopping with my cis male gay friends (my first friends in the queer community, and my first hint that I am a gay trans man.) That shirt has always made me feel very happy. I am now 36 and a parent, and on the cusp of my medical transition. I hope to be in your shoes later. It's ok to be in your feels. What a journey you have had! Thanks for sharing.
I will start taking t in 5 weeks! But I started working out and I finally see some result which is so cool, i cant wait to see what I can achieve when i'm on t!
Congrats!! Building a habit of working out pre T is really the best because then you can leverage all those skills to get super strong when you start T. Fun times ahead for you! 😃
you dont' have to get rid of any clothes that bring you the gift of joy. find a friend who sews and make them into throw pillows. throw 'am all around and rest on your dreams
This video feels like an art about being a humanbeing.🧡 Sometimes those pieces of fabric helps us to see who we are or want to be. When it feels hard in own skin. I ordered my first binder and I feel emotional already. Being able to see myself from the mirror for the first time in years (if it fits xd lol). But maybe someday it will be just a piece of fabric and I will be happy in my own skin. I'm happy that I came across your videos🥰 you are amazing
I can see myself in my mind as a guy now, and when I was still ‘play acting as a girl’ I couldn’t but I’ve been going through an acceptance journey so now I get excited about it, I’m gonna start my transition next year and I can’t wait I’m buzzing with excitement!!
Hey Arthur, I was in a really bad place almost a year ago and your videos have helped me so much at learning how to see that part of myself introspectively and slowly accept it. I might not know what I am exactly and I might never be able to have access to medical interventions, but it warms my heart to see you thriving as the person you’ve wanted to be. Thank you for your videos and for your kindness.
so cool of you to share your feelings like this and you are such a talented storyteller. your videos resonate with me so much as a fellow trans guy. love to you man
Hey man, I just wanna say how comfortable you make me feel about trying to figure out my identity. I’ve been questioning my gender so much recently and you’ve been nothing but amazing! Your videos are so helpful and comforting for me. Thank you so much for all that you do! ❤❤
Thank you so much for making this video, it came exactly when I needed it:)I have been feeling super overwhelmed with all things surrounding my transition lately and this gave me so much hope for the future. What you're doing is truly making a difference for how I view myself and my trans ness and I couldn't thank you enough:)
I jus found your channel today and I’m so grateful I did! You seem like you process things in a similar way that I do and it’s so good to listen to such affirming things being said. It’s helping me realise that I’m going to be confident with my decision to start T soon 😊
I dont think maybe people talk about how nostalgic and sentimental clothes can be for trans people. They have an added layer of meaning and getting rid of them can be a cathartic experience. I use it as a moment of gratitude and a transitional state of stepping into a new place in life. But some clothes I cant let go of. All of my clothes I have now are handmedowns from my father who does not accept me after I told him I was trans. I patched and mended them because letting them go after losing my relationship with him feels like letting go the last of my connection to him.
Hey Arthur. I’ve been watching a handful of your videos and I’ve been struggling to relate to trans guys on TH-cam. The things you talk about and your experiences give me such a different and more relatable way to look at my plans to transition. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!
Hi Arthur! Just wanted to thank you a lot about your videos. I am a teen who started feeling gender dysphoria a couple of years ago. I am still discovering myself and have struggles talking about it and accepting what I feel. I was so happy when I found your videos because it wasn't like any other trans content I watched before, and it really makes me feel more confident and less afraid of what my feelings probably mean. The wise way you talk about transness like it is just another part of life and part of the path we need to go on in life feels so true, comforting, and empowering. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and stories, you've helped me a lot!
Aw man, I recently went through something similar--realizing that a lot of clothes that served me well in the beginning of my transition either didn't fit or just did not suit me anymore--and this is making me wish I'd filmed some kind of send-off for them, lol. Clothes really do mean a lot, especially when you're early in your transition; I feel like every trans guy I know had at least one special button-up and one pair of perfectly baggy pants that made them feel comfortable and masculine at the beginning of their transitions. It always feels weird to get rid of that kind of thing, even if all they've been doing for the past four years is sit in a bag at the back of your closet. I still look back fondly at the first men's shirt I ever bought and how boxy and confident it made me feel, and I do love certain similar shirts now. However, now I've kinda done a 180 and feel more drawn to women's button-up shirts, just because the cuts and patterns are a lot more interesting to me and I feel rock-solid in my identity and ability to pass no matter what I wear. It feels really cool to know that my fashion journey going forward will forever be dictated not by dysphoria (mostly) but by what I find interesting, flattering, and comfortable. :)
Aw so fun to realize other trans guys have had a similar clothing evolution to me. And absolutelyyyy re your last sentence. It's so freeing and exciting!
I am glad you're comfortable in your body. I have met Trans guys who are really uncomfortable with other people seeing their body, including their SO, and I definitely understand why. On a side note, plaid is my favorite type of clothing, I was very disappointed when one of my plaid shirts ripped. Anyway, keep being you dude (and enjoy having pockets) :)
Lesbian-coded or not, I'm pretty sure Mainers are legally required to own a minimum number of plaid, flannel garments. That's what I tell myself, anyway. Besides, flannel shirts are cozy! I started T a week ago, and honestly, I'm kind of dreading having to go out and buy more clothes if/when the fat and muscle redistribution hits, partly because I have suits and stuff that I had made (being a recovering government functionary) that I don't actually want to grow out of, in part because they were some of the first clothes I really saw myself in. The feelings you describe in this video are so relatable, even for someone earlier in transition.
I'm coming up on my first summer post op and I just realized I have so many T shirts in my drawer that I NEVER wear because, when I was pre-op, I couldn't yet. Like thin shirts that are actually my size jfjdjd. It's so crazy putting them on and seeing myself look the way I had always wanted to look in them--but on the other hand, there's still a part of my brain that's like "nonono that shirt won't work u can't wear that!" (old habits die hard haha)
Question - Ive heard from many trans man that their size on pants changed after T to lower. As a skinny pre T guy, i wear xs/s (29) on pants.. i was wandering if in my case T is gonna change my pants size to M at least (?). Since i have a really hard time trying to find pants that fits me now.
I know you say you're ready to move on but you're obviously also a sentimental person and so you can just cut a square of the plaid shirt and turn it into a hankey or a teddy bear or stick it in your journal, if it makes you happy to think on that time then why not?
Go off feel more than see. If you feel good without the mirror (comfortable in it: whatever it is) just go out the door with that confidence. Fuck the rest.
Much love and respect bro your amazing and brave for speaking about your experience as a transgender. I'm very happy your transition was a success. 🏳️🌈!
Hi, i am Q, a trans man from Pakistan. I have yet not started my transition because I cant afford. Can you please start fundraising for me so that I can start living a normal life.
I actually feel like I’m trans but I’m just afraid of going out into the real world as a trans man , it seems scary and dangerous, when a lady try’s to flirt with me thinking that im a cis male then having to disclose I’m trans everytime , it’s like the lady loses interest and that’s something I hate going through
Aw yes I totally get that fear. And I imagine it's especially challenging being a trans man into women. I wish you luck in all of that!
Take your time with your decision, and trust that the right person will love you no matter what. there are plenty of women who love trans men trust me
this video is so special i cannot wait to feel this joy after transitioning
you can totally donate pants that have been repaired! i’m a costume designer in training and i feel really strongly about repairing my clothes until they are literally unusable. if the pants still function as pants, someone can find a use for them (or even reuse the fabric for something else!)
Oh that's great to know! I will then. I still haven't yet brought the bag to goodwill to I'll just add them in 😅
I have a green polo shirt that has been my "lucky" shirt since ninth grade. It was one of my first men's shirts and I loved how it made me look and feel. It was one of the first pieces of clothing that made me feel like myself and I've had it since before I cut my hair. It was the shirt I wore on my first day of ninth grade, when I took my driver's test, during senior photos, and it was the shirt I wore the day I moved onto my college campus freshmen year (it's in the picture on my college id). When I got my first binder, that was the first shirt I wore with it. I hope it still fits after I finally get top surgery. It's been with me during my entire transition, even the parts when I didn't have the language to put to it.
Aw that is SUCH a beautiful and relatable story ♥️
Long time viewer, first time commenter. So embarrassing to write a sappy parasocial comment but your reflections have inspired me. As a 21 y/o queer trans nerd, your videos have gotten me through so much- questioning, coming out, and now, as of a couple weeks ago, starting T. I even showed my parents some of your content to explain fertility preservation and testosterone timelines; they’ve referred to you as an example of what they hope I can become. I think it’s a silly little world we live in where a random stranger can impact one’s life through videos, but I wanted to thank you for the role you have played in my journey.
Less sappy: drop the workout routine king! personally working on doing one (1) pull-up rn…
Awww well consider this no longer 100% parasocial because I was touched enough by this comment to send it to my bf (he is the top recipient of all of the sappy comments that make my day). It makes me so happy to hear this. I remember the TH-camrs back in the day who helped me feel excited about my journey and I love knowing I've been able to serve that role for someone else ♥️
(I've also thought about filming a workout video... I should get around to it sometime!)
Nice gains. I think it's cool that you dedicated a video to your favorite shirts as you say goodbye to them.
Exactly what I was going for! Now I'll have this memory/video forever even if I don't want to hold onto the shirts themselves
This inspires me so much as a trans guy very much pre transition and just taking the first few steps towards presenting more masculine. I just got my first men’s pants which feels like a huge achievement even though it’s definitely not and they feel so good but imagining that someday I won’t have to try to hide my body with very carefully chosen clothes is so comforting, it definitely gives me a little hope for the future
I remember my first men's pants so fondly!! It's definitely a huge achievement. All of these clothing changes are so special in helping us find authenticity. I'm so happy to hear this gave you some hope 🥰
I’m not a trans man, I’m AMAB agender who’s kind of masc presenting for now at least, but so much of the emotions you put into this video (and all of your videos tbh) feel so familiar and powerful too, even if the details aren’t exactly what I experience. That feeling of your body changing into something you actually really love is beautiful to me and gives me so much hope, and I love your videos so much for being so vulnerable with those experiences and emotions, they’re so valuable especially for baby transes like me.
I love to hear this! It's so special how trans people share many of these deep emotions even if we all have very different lived experiences. It makes me feel really part of a community to hear all the similarities I have with trans people from all different paths.
I LOVE your enthusiasm, it screams happiness. I am 4 months on T and I've been noticing some body changes, clothes getting tight at some parts and loose on others and it all just feels right. I am loving your videos and the true honesty that you show when talking about your transition and everything. Please, keep posting! I've already recommended your videos to a friend who is questioning their gender because I know it's going to be very helpful. Cheers, bro ❤
I can even smell the ✨️ N O S T A L G I A ✨️ from afar.
Yesss I am a very nostalgic person 🥺
@Arthur Rockwell
Awww, please, I can't if you stare at me like that, but I can relate, my mind tends to focus on anywhere but the here and now. 😣
im an 18 year old trans man living in the southern us. Im currently going through the process of getting testosterone. I see myself in so much that you say, im so incredibly thankful for these videos that you upload. Its easy to feel like im completely alone out here.
loved this video!! having top surgery in a few days and im reevaluating my relationship with my clothing and it's definitely a unique aspect of transitioning that doesn't get discussed much and loved listening to your thoughts and your stories with your shirts!
Omg congrats on top surgery!! That is so huge and exciting 🤩
Trans creator inception rn bro wtf
This story is so inspiring to me! I have a green men's small shirt that affirmed me when I was just 17-years-old and out shopping with my cis male gay friends (my first friends in the queer community, and my first hint that I am a gay trans man.) That shirt has always made me feel very happy. I am now 36 and a parent, and on the cusp of my medical transition. I hope to be in your shoes later. It's ok to be in your feels. What a journey you have had! Thanks for sharing.
Aww what a lovely story as well. Congrats on nearing the start of your medical transition! What an exciting time!
I will start taking t in 5 weeks! But I started working out and I finally see some result which is so cool, i cant wait to see what I can achieve when i'm on t!
Congrats!! Building a habit of working out pre T is really the best because then you can leverage all those skills to get super strong when you start T. Fun times ahead for you! 😃
Thank you for sharing your stories! Clothing can be amazingly helpful and special.
you dont' have to get rid of any clothes that bring you the gift of joy. find a friend who sews and make them into throw pillows. throw 'am all around and rest on your dreams
This video feels like an art about being a humanbeing.🧡 Sometimes those pieces of fabric helps us to see who we are or want to be. When it feels hard in own skin.
I ordered my first binder and I feel emotional already. Being able to see myself from the mirror for the first time in years (if it fits xd lol). But maybe someday it will be just a piece of fabric and I will be happy in my own skin.
I'm happy that I came across your videos🥰 you are amazing
Aww thank you for this lovely comment 🥺
I can see myself in my mind as a guy now, and when I was still ‘play acting as a girl’ I couldn’t but I’ve been going through an acceptance journey so now I get excited about it, I’m gonna start my transition next year and I can’t wait I’m buzzing with excitement!!
Aww congrats!! It really is such a thrilling time when you're getting ready to start your transition. Enjoy it :)
Hey Arthur, I was in a really bad place almost a year ago and your videos have helped me so much at learning how to see that part of myself introspectively and slowly accept it. I might not know what I am exactly and I might never be able to have access to medical interventions, but it warms my heart to see you thriving as the person you’ve wanted to be. Thank you for your videos and for your kindness.
This made me smiiiile 🥰. I love knowing I play a part in people's journeys and wish you luck going forward
This was such an uplifting video! So happy for you, Arthur, and thanks for sharing!
Someday. Someday, it's gonna be me.
so cool of you to share your feelings like this and you are such a talented storyteller. your videos resonate with me so much as a fellow trans guy. love to you man
I love your so called "journal like video entries" ! It's so good to see a trans man with the same urge to analyse his every thoughts and feelings
Hey man, I just wanna say how comfortable you make me feel about trying to figure out my identity. I’ve been questioning my gender so much recently and you’ve been nothing but amazing! Your videos are so helpful and comforting for me. Thank you so much for all that you do! ❤❤
Thank you so much for making this video, it came exactly when I needed it:)I have been feeling super overwhelmed with all things surrounding my transition lately and this gave me so much hope for the future. What you're doing is truly making a difference for how I view myself and my trans ness and I couldn't thank you enough:)
I really appreciate this comment ♥️! It means so much to me that I could have this kind of an impact with my silly little musings
I love your content so much because it's so well rounded and coming from such a healthy place. ❤ thank you for sharing yourself with us!
hii! i’m so excited about your growth, you’re radiating joy, it helps me look forward to my future/growth as a trans person ❤️ much love to you!
Aww thank you! This is such a sweet comment 🥺
I’m a little over a week on T and I’m so excited to see how my body changes
Congrats!! I hope you get all of the changes you're hoping for 🥰
I jus found your channel today and I’m so grateful I did! You seem like you process things in a similar way that I do and it’s so good to listen to such affirming things being said. It’s helping me realise that I’m going to be confident with my decision to start T soon 😊
I dont think maybe people talk about how nostalgic and sentimental clothes can be for trans people. They have an added layer of meaning and getting rid of them can be a cathartic experience. I use it as a moment of gratitude and a transitional state of stepping into a new place in life. But some clothes I cant let go of. All of my clothes I have now are handmedowns from my father who does not accept me after I told him I was trans. I patched and mended them because letting them go after losing my relationship with him feels like letting go the last of my connection to him.
Aww yes you put it beautifully. That's such a special and intense relationship to have with those hand-me-downs ♥️
Hey Arthur. I’ve been watching a handful of your videos and I’ve been struggling to relate to trans guys on TH-cam. The things you talk about and your experiences give me such a different and more relatable way to look at my plans to transition. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!
Hi Arthur! Just wanted to thank you a lot about your videos. I am a teen who started feeling gender dysphoria a couple of years ago. I am still discovering myself and have struggles talking about it and accepting what I feel. I was so happy when I found your videos because it wasn't like any other trans content I watched before, and it really makes me feel more confident and less afraid of what my feelings probably mean. The wise way you talk about transness like it is just another part of life and part of the path we need to go on in life feels so true, comforting, and empowering. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and stories, you've helped me a lot!
I'm so happy to hear it! I wish you continued joy and self acceptance going forward 💞
love and respect you so much. thanks for shining a light for the rest of us. I admire your courage and wit...
Aw thank you!!
Thank you. This video brings me so much hope :)
♥️ I love to hear that
Aw man, I recently went through something similar--realizing that a lot of clothes that served me well in the beginning of my transition either didn't fit or just did not suit me anymore--and this is making me wish I'd filmed some kind of send-off for them, lol. Clothes really do mean a lot, especially when you're early in your transition; I feel like every trans guy I know had at least one special button-up and one pair of perfectly baggy pants that made them feel comfortable and masculine at the beginning of their transitions. It always feels weird to get rid of that kind of thing, even if all they've been doing for the past four years is sit in a bag at the back of your closet.
I still look back fondly at the first men's shirt I ever bought and how boxy and confident it made me feel, and I do love certain similar shirts now. However, now I've kinda done a 180 and feel more drawn to women's button-up shirts, just because the cuts and patterns are a lot more interesting to me and I feel rock-solid in my identity and ability to pass no matter what I wear. It feels really cool to know that my fashion journey going forward will forever be dictated not by dysphoria (mostly) but by what I find interesting, flattering, and comfortable. :)
Aw so fun to realize other trans guys have had a similar clothing evolution to me. And absolutelyyyy re your last sentence. It's so freeing and exciting!
I am glad you're comfortable in your body. I have met Trans guys who are really uncomfortable with other people seeing their body, including their SO, and I definitely understand why.
On a side note, plaid is my favorite type of clothing, I was very disappointed when one of my plaid shirts ripped.
Anyway, keep being you dude (and enjoy having pockets) :)
Lesbian-coded or not, I'm pretty sure Mainers are legally required to own a minimum number of plaid, flannel garments. That's what I tell myself, anyway. Besides, flannel shirts are cozy!
I started T a week ago, and honestly, I'm kind of dreading having to go out and buy more clothes if/when the fat and muscle redistribution hits, partly because I have suits and stuff that I had made (being a recovering government functionary) that I don't actually want to grow out of, in part because they were some of the first clothes I really saw myself in. The feelings you describe in this video are so relatable, even for someone earlier in transition.
Ahaha yup agreed. I have like a half dozen more plaid/flannel shirts that aren't yet retired 😂. And congrats on starting T!!
@@arthur_rockwell Thanks! And yeah, I have way more flannels than any one person probably needs, but I can't quite bring myself to throw them out.
I'm coming up on my first summer post op and I just realized I have so many T shirts in my drawer that I NEVER wear because, when I was pre-op, I couldn't yet. Like thin shirts that are actually my size jfjdjd. It's so crazy putting them on and seeing myself look the way I had always wanted to look in them--but on the other hand, there's still a part of my brain that's like "nonono that shirt won't work u can't wear that!" (old habits die hard haha)
Omg I literally had the exact same revelation!! T-shirts fit so good now 🥺
Question - Ive heard from many trans man that their size on pants changed after T to lower. As a skinny pre T guy, i wear xs/s (29) on pants.. i was wandering if in my case T is gonna change my pants size to M at least (?). Since i have a really hard time trying to find pants that fits me now.
DEFINITELY. pants are always way too big for me.
I'm a nonbinary person (who is not interested in T) and this video made me really excited for how liberated I will be after top surgery.
Aw yes!! So much to look forward to 🥰
I know you say you're ready to move on but you're obviously also a sentimental person and so you can just cut a square of the plaid shirt and turn it into a hankey or a teddy bear or stick it in your journal, if it makes you happy to think on that time then why not?
Or maybe this video is enough and I think that's really cool
If I were at all crafty I would absolutely do that... Such a lovely idea 🥰
🎉🎉🎉
Go off feel more than see. If you feel good without the mirror (comfortable in it: whatever it is) just go out the door with that confidence. Fuck the rest.
Much love and respect bro your amazing and brave for speaking about your experience as a transgender. I'm very happy your transition was a success. 🏳️🌈!
Thank you!!
testosterone gave me a big belly lol i've always been a bit chubby but testosterone changes fat storage areas so it moved most of my fat there
Does it change someone hair texture? I'm starting T soon, kinda curious about that cause my hair is curly
I’ve always wanted to be thick not like thicc but thick is a masculine way Yk
:)
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
Hi, i am Q, a trans man from Pakistan. I have yet not started my transition because I cant afford. Can you please start fundraising for me so that I can start living a normal life.
im 20 how old are u
24!
💙💗🤍💙💗🤍💙💗🤍
girl wtf
do you have instagram or tiktok? want to follow for more of your content!