Soo.. basically Story 1: "Wait.. so your telling me their going to fight with tooth and nail and us with our guns? Well shit! this is too easy! quite a damn shame for them." Story 2: "Human Military goes for a field trip and plays laser tag with aliens."
At least the human asked for clarification of what 'war' meant to the other beings. It would have been embarrassing to bring live ammo to a laser tag event and get disqualified immediately.
@@stevedixon921 I think there's a story where they did just that, only the human in charge called a halt to proceedings when his battlefleet was met with only a shuttle full of infantry and realized something was up. Then he called the diplomats so they could ask for a clarification on what just "war" involved.
alternatively ...human military goess for a rookies shared training exercise that aliens calls 'war' ...while ther diplomats is trying to find clean pants XD
It is a very human feeling to be disappointed you couldn't be friends with the fluffy thingy because it insists on attempting to eat you and "shame" is the only word I know of that properly voices the emotion From a member of that species perspective we would seem like psychopaths to be slightly annoyed and some what sad and pensive while standing over a fresh corpse
They did have poisonous spines, sharp claws, significant mandibles - but we still have 'bug boys' who would be quite happy to treat with them. No, it's the wistful disappointment of the old gunslingers who just aren't being granted the proper degree of respect for their lethality.
I'll never understand why a war like species would only focus on recent history and not the history of the entire planet and also research the fecking type of planet they're invading. Facepalm even just the mention of tsun zu's(I maintain sun zu is a tsundere with a battle fetish) the art of war should have key them in to the fact we have elevated warfare to an artform. Also we as a species have had over 115 wars
We really need to do that but I think TH-cam would flag it under one variety or another of mature content. Considering that allied and Russian political leaders are happily threatening nuclear war I think we need to schedule a movie night or five.
What Humanity needs is all envoys have a weapon traditional to their culture, well just bullshit our way around with "It's a symbol of office for their nation." and you know what it means when the more blade heavy diplomats are at station. Staff majority yanks and russians will be only deployed on planets with breathable atmosphere, there will be too many holes to patch in a space station.
Fun fact, this "alien war is non lethal" idea, is actually quite possible... And we know it for mostly 3 reasons: 1) many species have territorial fights with themself, and even with other species, but rarely if ever they go to "total war" and when they are of the same species, most cases they are many times not lethal with each other even tho they could kill each other... There are videos of tigers fighting for a territory with one tiger going away injured but alive while the other stays for example... 2)human war is getting less and less lethal with time... Yeah, when prolonged enough it gets ridiculous amounts of casualties, but if you take examples of wwii or wwi, the numbers of people who died in short periods of time like... A single battle to a few years is way higher... If this continues, it wouldnt be weird that future wars are little more than laser tag... 3) most animals "play fights" but usually when they do they are not only non lethal but very careful not to hurt each other... Just watch 2 dogs playing fights and you will see what i mean... While humans... We have boxing, kyokushin, catch, mma... We are more violent than most species on earth for fun, if sapient species are more like the other species on earth, then probably they would think our sports are too violent too
1) Let's not forget that we aren't the only primates that fight and kill in territorial disputes; look up the Gombe Chimpanzee War for an example of a splintering community engaging in what was essentially 'total war'. Yet leaving that aside, total war doctrine doesn't _actually_ make sense on the scale of most inter animal territorial disputes, as lacking in effective ways to treat severe wounds the idea of risking a crippling or fatal injury trying to _kill_ a foe you make desperate when you could just show it who's boss and allow it to slink away just isn't a great value proposition. The animal that goes all out at every territorial dispute is more likely to end up with long term disability that would make it vulnerable to younger, fresher competitors. Similarly, most human conflict on a small scale is non-lethal and non-crippling, with more deadly conflict _generally_ being reserved for extreme situations or group conflict of perceived high stakes. People aren't _generally_ murderous without a good deal of provocation, and even with our modern medical knowledge most are still injury averse. 2) War is getting less and less _symmetrical_ with time. It's expected that you'd see a reduction in casualties when you possess UAV's and air support that provide intel and posses strike capabilities from beyond the effective range of the enemies weapons; especially when you're not facing a fighting force a small fraction of the size of your own. It's also easy to underreport casualties when part of your war is fought by proxy through the equipping and training of 'local rebel groups' or the armies of friendly States, and civilian deaths and injuries can be swept under the rug under the guise of operational security unless a whistleblower steps up to expose them; I'm not saying that's where a huge portion of the casualties lie, but it does bear consideration. That's not even getting into how online misinformation and radicalization campaigns can mask the State induced creation of 'home grown terrorists', further distorting numbers. The difference in negative externalities between a short war where many people die all at once and a series of loosely connected, long protracted proxy wars where people die over an indefinitely long period likely doesn't seem so clear cut when you consider that people are born and reach adult hood in places that's _been_ warzones on and off for longer then they've been alive; cause teaching a generation that might makes right and violence is the ultimate form of diplomacy doesn't exactly seem like a good way to _discourage_ the break out of larger conflicts later down the line. The fact that we are exploring a new era of warfare doesn't mean we _know_ things _won't_ explode into more direct and bloody conflict if a dangerous State detects enough blood in the water and guesses their opposing State might be too disorganized to or lack the will to threaten MAD or the use of WMDs. _Maybe_ war will grow increasingly tame as more States acquire MAD capabilities, maybe it's even one of the Great Filters and any galactic civilization needs a powerful precommitment to _crushing_ any Actor violating whatever treaties 'civilize' their wars and prevent total destruction, but the idea that members of a multi-species galactic community would lack the _concepts_ of total war or war time atrocities is... somewhat SOD breaking for me. Even the most peaceful of the galactic community should grasp the dangers of their own scientific knowledge and the methods of it's abuse; past a certain point it just takes a few aberrant minds to make them quite apparent and unless they were recently uplifted time should have given them examples. 3) I almost can't believe this needs stating, but most humans who "play fight", or to use a more analogous term _spar_, almost always do so non-lethally and with care not to hurt each other too badly; partly mitigated by a medical expertise animals simply don't posses that allows us to take greater risks. However, for those on even a semi-professional level, Boxing, Kyokushin, Catch wrestiling, MMA, or even Football are _not_ "play fighting" simply for fun or even sparing to stay sharp for future eventualities, they are _resource competitions_ more accurately compared to territorial disputes, with money and prestige standing in place of hunting and mating grounds. Thus those engaging in them weigh the risk of injury on scale more similar to your example of fighting tigers from your first point; especially when they feel it's their 'only way up'. It bears pointing out that the more violent sports _tend_ to attract a high proportion of people form more desperate demographics whom are willing to put more on the line for upwards mobility; though this is obviously not _always_ the case it certainly is an appreciable amount of the time. It also bears pointing out that we _have_ less violent sports and contests that we engage in too, as many of people lack a stomach for violence, at least against members of their in group, but still wish to engage in competition and earn social currency with them. Just like developing agriculture doesn't indicate we are uniquely _hungry_ , our sport doesn't show we are _uniquely_ violent when compared to other animals either; we're just, as a multi-generational collective, _better_ at it then them because of our capacity for teaching and learning and engage in it at scales and with stakes proportionate to how we've grouped our population. Of your three reasons, your second seems most grounded. Not because I'd find it likely for aliens to be more peaceful by nature then we savages, but rather because I expect that if they beat us to the galactic stage they've _been_ coping with the threat of total annihilation for _longer_ then we have. It seems less likely to me that their response to humans threatening total war doctrine would be "what a uniquely horrendous idea from your snowflake death cult race" and more likely they'd respond more along the lines of "well, _we_ don't tend to use WMD but we've committed to a special exception for species crazy enough to threaten galactic stability with war crimes and genocide, so... are you gonna call those lawyers back in and play by _civilized_ rules or should we ready the xenophage aerosolizers?"
friendly reminder that ants one of the most industrious species on the planet are in a constant state of total war with each other and have been in such a state since LOOOOOONG before recorded history
@@julianweir3030 i wanna be clear, on the first one, i said MANY CASES, not ALL CASES... There has been some cases of bayonet use in the last 30 years, that doesnt make bayonet use a common thing in human warfare today... On the second one, besides the asymetrical aspect, wich is not the point... Just think about vietnam and the winter war... Asymetrical wars were the casualties were higher in shorter periods of time thsn modern wars... The fact that weapons technologies have more precision means you can drone strike a single building instead of carpet bombing a city... That makes it easier to achieve military objectives without killing as many people... On the third one, sparring is practicint, im talking about conpetition... Competition is only soft in some styles like point style ksrate... I won a national championship and got 4th plsce in another... I know how point style is... I also know that my dog who is half pitbull play fights way less hardcore than what we do in pointstyle... So, none of my points were bad, you are just trying to find holes in them so badly that you either point at the top of the bucket to claim its an unexpected hole, or just make them up as you go... So, YES, most animal territorial conflicts are non lethal or close to non lethal. YES war isngetting less and less lethal the more technology advances, and YES our combat sports are particulary violent when compared with animal competitions.... Even if you take into acount things like animals fighting for the right to reproduce, wich is one of the few cases they go "all in", it doesnt compare to modern combat sports... Why? Well, because for them, reproduction rights is survival, they are nor fighting for fun specifically, they sre fighting for a prize... Yesterday for fun i got tontrade punched snd kicks with s muay thai guy... We did one boxong round, one smerican kick boxing round, one k1 round, one muay thai round, one sanda round and finished uo with a few sumo rounds... For fun, and we both were hsving fun, i got knocked down 3 times and he got slammed on his back 4 times... For FUN... If 2 lions were playing fights and one of them hit the other hard enough for a knockdown, a non playing fight wouldnstart right away... If two chips were playing fights and one grabbed the other snd threw it over head into the ground with an ippon seoi nage, the other would retsliste in real fight instead of play fight... Humans are particulary violent in their ways, there is no mistake sbout that
@@stoirmslw7195 that is a good exeption... Insects in general... War among bees, wasps, ants, etc... Is usually mich more violent than most non insects wars... HOWEVER, they are still in the melee periods of their warfare, and guess what happen when you compare their wars with what we used to do in that period? Thats right, worst case scenario they are just like us, but mostly, they are not even half as bad... Like... Yeah, they try to eliminate the other group completly...but they rarely manage to do it... Usually in many cases, they eat the oponents too, but even with that in mind, they dont go arround rap¡ng pillaging and enslaving the other group... Wich is worse than just kill them... And that was THE NORM for us when we were st that stage... No matter how you measure it, humans are ridiculously violent vompared to.other species in most things... Exceptions being very specific things like "most humans dont smash each others head for some booty" or "its rare for human females to eat the head of the male after sex" and even then, i have to use the words most and rare because im sure it probably happened at least once in history if not more...
@@julianweir3030 also, sorry about the very bad writting, i just woke up and my head is still spinning for the aftermarh of yesterdays fun... Got bruises all over my body and still didnt get my morning coffee... But i hope you can understand what i mean...
I like the translator in the first story. Usually all species are either wary of humanity or think we're pathetic and try to attack us. But the tarvi actually get along with us closely and aren't just taken along with our insane ventures.
I kinda wish in the second story the aliens were just still casual about it and thought that, yes while that was brutal, they still wanna have a good old war and what not. It's fun!
Only saw Saving Private Ryan, but I'm surprised that alone wasn't enough. If they need more movies, they could always do "We Were Soldiers Once," "13 Hours," "American Sniper," "Lone Survivor," "Act of Valor" or "Black Hawk Down." Granted, all of those would probably have made them die of shock.
No Saving Private Ryan was the shot that killed the horse the rest was hitting the body for shits and giggles. With a shotgun. At whatever would be the optimal range for as much blood and meat as possible flying through the air.
Chuckle ... Glad to see (hear) that advise given and was acted upon. You should not have any more idiotic algorithms disrupting the income flow. Cheers from a Canadian Northern Bear.
Cute first story - i assume that when the declaration of war goes out, it's effective immediately? And applies to the diplomats making the threats too? Foolish. And a damn shame. Liked the second one too - and it was good that kept it to real wars we actually had rather than science fiction like Starship Troopers (too silly) or Astartes (too awesome), because they might think we were trying to bluff them into thinking we're good at war.
Poor its... They must have been scarred for life after that... Eh but I've seen worse... Wait a minute... So that's why they banned humanity's movies!!!
For the algorithm!! Tari is funny, Leeroy Yenkins as well ahahahaha too bad they didn't made them watch Warsaw, a movie documentary about the capture of Warsaw
Maybe an author sees this im not much of a writer so I hope to pass this on to someone competent There are many clinical psychopaths living productive lives that are actually a benefit to their community or serial killers who have learned to act completely harmless I want to see one if these creatures kept in check by law and public shame unleashed on an alien planet where such mental disorders are seen as grounds for termination at birth but also considered nearly impossible to occur
There is a story about a planet full of sedated sociopaths getting released by aliens that thought they were prisoners and not mental patients, but I can’t remember the name of it.
That second one had me the most. Human cinemas banned. Not totally unbelievable. Side note could you imagine the field day the soldiers would have had? Laser tag is fun as a civie imagine trained troops playing laser tag 💛🤣🤣🤣
Found the videos end. :( Damn shame ... Now to rewatch some classics hoping to find the name of a series I want to finish reading. (It is the one where 2 aliens land ignore the humans gathered to meet them then shot the ambassador standing in front of them and promptly get killed by the crowd. I thought I remember it being a series with only the first chapter narrated but don't know if it is completed on reddit.)
Doom really isn't a good depiction of actual war. Or actual human fighting tactics for that matter since Doomguy is explicitly superhuman in the more recent games.
Uh, Agro, you kind of... swapped the order of the stories there. Also, seems showing what we have actually done in war is a better deterrent than actually showing up to fight these days. Good.
"so what you are telling me is that the movies that make them scared is always about something they cant stop or kill" "pretty much" "and everything else?" "oh, they find a way to stop it or kill it, usually with large explosions, be it giant monsters or meteors coming to earth. Did you know they even made one about drilling a hole to their own planets core to jump start it so the magnetosphere doesnt dissapear?" "what...the...fu..?"
My god... I snort giggled so many times, and outright guffawed at the "Leeeeeroyyyyyy Jeeeeeenkiiiinssss" Ah I remember the first time I saw the original video for that one. You should look it up and give it a watch. Very funny.
Saving Private Ryan is really tame to be honest. Hacksaw Ridge, Fury, 1918, anything to do with Band of Brothers, on the other hand... don't get me wrong, they're all great, but some depictions capture more of the fog of war than others.
I personally would have said for the second story, "Just so we are clear, that is our definition of a small planetary conflict nowadays, for what we consider to be a galactic scale conflict, we shall provide you with a set of books about a media series called 'warhammer 40000' the numbers are a bit inflated from what we currently have, but if you give us time, we can certainly achieve that. I particularly like The Fall of Cadia, just remember, the planet broke before the soldiers defending it did. "
The numbers in 40k are severely under inflated. More people caught in the eastern front of WWII than guardsmen in some of the canonical major planetary conflicts.
@@mcarrowtime7095 true, but there are over a quadrillion guardsmen, their weaponry and armour, while basically flashlights and tissue paper compared to what they're going against, is still vastly more powerful than anything we currently have, and their "light" tanks, have topspeeds in the 100km/h range, whilst having armour and guns that put our superheavy tanks to shame.
maybe 1917 I think the Generals were trying to show them the brutality and scope to what earth calls a "war". so they went with the more accurate movies. TLD is tame to the opening mins of saving Private Ryan. and all quiet is more of internal look at the toll the war took on "the lost generation"
I gotta say, its a real shame they didnt show any Mel Gibson movies. "We were soldiers" or "the patriot" would've been fuckin phenomenal. I cant describe how hard it would be to keep a straight face watching the aliens see the de-gloving scene
"We want to declare war on you, here are the rules" *Reads it* "I belive we have a different definition of what 'WAR' is than what YOU belive it to be"
Silly xenos bringing claws and teeth to a gun fight..... LoL Lazer tag.... Sounds about right or maybe paintball
Damn shame, that.
Honestly sounds like paintball is a war crime to them... Lol
A real shame!
Definitely sounds like paintball back in the day
Well...having been in a fist fight during both paintball and laser tag...
Edit: joking
"we would like to have a war"
"No you wouldn't"
"You have no idea wtf you just asked for, do you?"
*looks to fellow representatives* "Did this guy just ask for what I think he did, or are my ears deceiving me?"
16 hours later "... yea no we wouldn't... plz don't hurt us"
Pretty sure we haven't gone more than a year without a war or conflict somewhere in the world since the dawn of civilization
@@MalefAzelb ah, an optimist!
Soo.. basically
Story 1: "Wait.. so your telling me their going to fight with tooth and nail and us with our guns? Well shit! this is too easy! quite a damn shame for them."
Story 2: "Human Military goes for a field trip and plays laser tag with aliens."
yarp
At least the human asked for clarification of what 'war' meant to the other beings. It would have been embarrassing to bring live ammo to a laser tag event and get disqualified immediately.
@@stevedixon921 I think there's a story where they did just that, only the human in charge called a halt to proceedings when his battlefleet was met with only a shuttle full of infantry and realized something was up. Then he called the diplomats so they could ask for a clarification on what just "war" involved.
alternatively ...human military goess for a rookies shared training exercise that aliens calls 'war' ...while ther diplomats is trying to find clean pants XD
@@noppornwongrassamee8941 do you happen to remember the sauce?
It is a very human feeling to be disappointed you couldn't be friends with the fluffy thingy because it insists on attempting to eat you and "shame" is the only word I know of that properly voices the emotion
From a member of that species perspective we would seem like psychopaths to be slightly annoyed and some what sad and pensive while standing over a fresh corpse
They did have poisonous spines, sharp claws, significant mandibles - but we still have 'bug boys' who would be quite happy to treat with them.
No, it's the wistful disappointment of the old gunslingers who just aren't being granted the proper degree of respect for their lethality.
I'll never understand why a war like species would only focus on recent history and not the history of the entire planet and also research the fecking type of planet they're invading. Facepalm even just the mention of tsun zu's(I maintain sun zu is a tsundere with a battle fetish) the art of war should have key them in to the fact we have elevated warfare to an artform. Also we as a species have had over 115 wars
@@ShiroNekoDen that few? Must just be counting recorded history. Don’t ask the Neanderthals.
That second one was great here comes the Sun doo do doo
:)
We really need to do that but I think TH-cam would flag it under one variety or another of mature content. Considering that allied and Russian political leaders are happily threatening nuclear war I think we need to schedule a movie night or five.
it made me burst out laughing
It's a shame,a real shame that the first story didn't suggest a laser tag war first before going to real war.
Yup a damn damn shame, they could have just look at our history books i doubt we would cover up half our wars. Damn shame
Truly, a damn shame
Damn, damn shame.
That is a true, damn shame. Maybe they can reconsider their decision next time. But that would require us to take prisoners.
@@a2rgaming863 well maybe not prisoners but it seems we will at least accept pets. 😂
alien: we would like a war.
*"all they fear is you plays"*
that one guy: *pulls out a large gun* LEEROY JENKINS!
What Humanity needs is all envoys have a weapon traditional to their culture, well just bullshit our way around with "It's a symbol of office for their nation." and you know what it means when the more blade heavy diplomats are at station. Staff majority yanks and russians will be only deployed on planets with breathable atmosphere, there will be too many holes to patch in a space station.
The first one had me chuckling, the 2nd had me laughing out loud. For the algorithm.
for the algorithm :)
The tales of Human insanity, recklessness, and valour are some of my favourites here.
Grand job Agro.
So many classic war flicks to show the aliens... darn they banned my whole collection, I was just going to show Full metal jacket and Dr Strangelove.
That second story was the best, I laughed out loud towards the end 😂
here comes the sun do do do dooo
@@thunderzurafa7056 Now lets try something more adult 😂
@@thunderzurafa7056 "We sank some of their boats, and they dropped the sun on us, TWICE"
@@darkhorse13golfgaming Better idea: show the aliens our most popular fps/tps war games (eg. Spec ops), BUT, with vr.
*Loading shotgun* That's a shame. . .
Man, Daniels, that was low.
Fun fact, this "alien war is non lethal" idea, is actually quite possible... And we know it for mostly 3 reasons:
1) many species have territorial fights with themself, and even with other species, but rarely if ever they go to "total war" and when they are of the same species, most cases they are many times not lethal with each other even tho they could kill each other... There are videos of tigers fighting for a territory with one tiger going away injured but alive while the other stays for example...
2)human war is getting less and less lethal with time... Yeah, when prolonged enough it gets ridiculous amounts of casualties, but if you take examples of wwii or wwi, the numbers of people who died in short periods of time like... A single battle to a few years is way higher... If this continues, it wouldnt be weird that future wars are little more than laser tag...
3) most animals "play fights" but usually when they do they are not only non lethal but very careful not to hurt each other... Just watch 2 dogs playing fights and you will see what i mean... While humans... We have boxing, kyokushin, catch, mma... We are more violent than most species on earth for fun, if sapient species are more like the other species on earth, then probably they would think our sports are too violent too
1) Let's not forget that we aren't the only primates that fight and kill in territorial disputes; look up the Gombe Chimpanzee War for an example of a splintering community engaging in what was essentially 'total war'. Yet leaving that aside, total war doctrine doesn't _actually_ make sense on the scale of most inter animal territorial disputes, as lacking in effective ways to treat severe wounds the idea of risking a crippling or fatal injury trying to _kill_ a foe you make desperate when you could just show it who's boss and allow it to slink away just isn't a great value proposition. The animal that goes all out at every territorial dispute is more likely to end up with long term disability that would make it vulnerable to younger, fresher competitors. Similarly, most human conflict on a small scale is non-lethal and non-crippling, with more deadly conflict _generally_ being reserved for extreme situations or group conflict of perceived high stakes. People aren't _generally_ murderous without a good deal of provocation, and even with our modern medical knowledge most are still injury averse.
2) War is getting less and less _symmetrical_ with time. It's expected that you'd see a reduction in casualties when you possess UAV's and air support that provide intel and posses strike capabilities from beyond the effective range of the enemies weapons; especially when you're not facing a fighting force a small fraction of the size of your own. It's also easy to underreport casualties when part of your war is fought by proxy through the equipping and training of 'local rebel groups' or the armies of friendly States, and civilian deaths and injuries can be swept under the rug under the guise of operational security unless a whistleblower steps up to expose them; I'm not saying that's where a huge portion of the casualties lie, but it does bear consideration. That's not even getting into how online misinformation and radicalization campaigns can mask the State induced creation of 'home grown terrorists', further distorting numbers.
The difference in negative externalities between a short war where many people die all at once and a series of loosely connected, long protracted proxy wars where people die over an indefinitely long period likely doesn't seem so clear cut when you consider that people are born and reach adult hood in places that's _been_ warzones on and off for longer then they've been alive; cause teaching a generation that might makes right and violence is the ultimate form of diplomacy doesn't exactly seem like a good way to _discourage_ the break out of larger conflicts later down the line. The fact that we are exploring a new era of warfare doesn't mean we _know_ things _won't_ explode into more direct and bloody conflict if a dangerous State detects enough blood in the water and guesses their opposing State might be too disorganized to or lack the will to threaten MAD or the use of WMDs.
_Maybe_ war will grow increasingly tame as more States acquire MAD capabilities, maybe it's even one of the Great Filters and any galactic civilization needs a powerful precommitment to _crushing_ any Actor violating whatever treaties 'civilize' their wars and prevent total destruction, but the idea that members of a multi-species galactic community would lack the _concepts_ of total war or war time atrocities is... somewhat SOD breaking for me. Even the most peaceful of the galactic community should grasp the dangers of their own scientific knowledge and the methods of it's abuse; past a certain point it just takes a few aberrant minds to make them quite apparent and unless they were recently uplifted time should have given them examples.
3) I almost can't believe this needs stating, but most humans who "play fight", or to use a more analogous term _spar_, almost always do so non-lethally and with care not to hurt each other too badly; partly mitigated by a medical expertise animals simply don't posses that allows us to take greater risks. However, for those on even a semi-professional level, Boxing, Kyokushin, Catch wrestiling, MMA, or even Football are _not_ "play fighting" simply for fun or even sparing to stay sharp for future eventualities, they are _resource competitions_ more accurately compared to territorial disputes, with money and prestige standing in place of hunting and mating grounds. Thus those engaging in them weigh the risk of injury on scale more similar to your example of fighting tigers from your first point; especially when they feel it's their 'only way up'. It bears pointing out that the more violent sports _tend_ to attract a high proportion of people form more desperate demographics whom are willing to put more on the line for upwards mobility; though this is obviously not _always_ the case it certainly is an appreciable amount of the time. It also bears pointing out that we _have_ less violent sports and contests that we engage in too, as many of people lack a stomach for violence, at least against members of their in group, but still wish to engage in competition and earn social currency with them. Just like developing agriculture doesn't indicate we are uniquely _hungry_ , our sport doesn't show we are _uniquely_ violent when compared to other animals either; we're just, as a multi-generational collective, _better_ at it then them because of our capacity for teaching and learning and engage in it at scales and with stakes proportionate to how we've grouped our population.
Of your three reasons, your second seems most grounded. Not because I'd find it likely for aliens to be more peaceful by nature then we savages, but rather because I expect that if they beat us to the galactic stage they've _been_ coping with the threat of total annihilation for _longer_ then we have. It seems less likely to me that their response to humans threatening total war doctrine would be "what a uniquely horrendous idea from your snowflake death cult race" and more likely they'd respond more along the lines of "well, _we_ don't tend to use WMD but we've committed to a special exception for species crazy enough to threaten galactic stability with war crimes and genocide, so... are you gonna call those lawyers back in and play by _civilized_ rules or should we ready the xenophage aerosolizers?"
friendly reminder that ants one of the most industrious species on the planet are in a constant state of total war with each other and have been in such a state since LOOOOOONG before recorded history
@@julianweir3030 i wanna be clear, on the first one, i said MANY CASES, not ALL CASES... There has been some cases of bayonet use in the last 30 years, that doesnt make bayonet use a common thing in human warfare today...
On the second one, besides the asymetrical aspect, wich is not the point... Just think about vietnam and the winter war... Asymetrical wars were the casualties were higher in shorter periods of time thsn modern wars... The fact that weapons technologies have more precision means you can drone strike a single building instead of carpet bombing a city... That makes it easier to achieve military objectives without killing as many people...
On the third one, sparring is practicint, im talking about conpetition... Competition is only soft in some styles like point style ksrate... I won a national championship and got 4th plsce in another... I know how point style is... I also know that my dog who is half pitbull play fights way less hardcore than what we do in pointstyle...
So, none of my points were bad, you are just trying to find holes in them so badly that you either point at the top of the bucket to claim its an unexpected hole, or just make them up as you go...
So, YES, most animal territorial conflicts are non lethal or close to non lethal. YES war isngetting less and less lethal the more technology advances, and YES our combat sports are particulary violent when compared with animal competitions.... Even if you take into acount things like animals fighting for the right to reproduce, wich is one of the few cases they go "all in", it doesnt compare to modern combat sports... Why? Well, because for them, reproduction rights is survival, they are nor fighting for fun specifically, they sre fighting for a prize... Yesterday for fun i got tontrade punched snd kicks with s muay thai guy... We did one boxong round, one smerican kick boxing round, one k1 round, one muay thai round, one sanda round and finished uo with a few sumo rounds... For fun, and we both were hsving fun, i got knocked down 3 times and he got slammed on his back 4 times... For FUN... If 2 lions were playing fights and one of them hit the other hard enough for a knockdown, a non playing fight wouldnstart right away... If two chips were playing fights and one grabbed the other snd threw it over head into the ground with an ippon seoi nage, the other would retsliste in real fight instead of play fight... Humans are particulary violent in their ways, there is no mistake sbout that
@@stoirmslw7195 that is a good exeption... Insects in general... War among bees, wasps, ants, etc... Is usually mich more violent than most non insects wars...
HOWEVER, they are still in the melee periods of their warfare, and guess what happen when you compare their wars with what we used to do in that period? Thats right, worst case scenario they are just like us, but mostly, they are not even half as bad...
Like... Yeah, they try to eliminate the other group completly...but they rarely manage to do it... Usually in many cases, they eat the oponents too, but even with that in mind, they dont go arround rap¡ng pillaging and enslaving the other group... Wich is worse than just kill them... And that was THE NORM for us when we were st that stage...
No matter how you measure it, humans are ridiculously violent vompared to.other species in most things... Exceptions being very specific things like "most humans dont smash each others head for some booty" or "its rare for human females to eat the head of the male after sex" and even then, i have to use the words most and rare because im sure it probably happened at least once in history if not more...
@@julianweir3030 also, sorry about the very bad writting, i just woke up and my head is still spinning for the aftermarh of yesterdays fun... Got bruises all over my body and still didnt get my morning coffee... But i hope you can understand what i mean...
Russian Genereal suggesting "something more adult"
The Zenos: 😳😱
The biggest problem is that any of the Russian dramas written right after world War II would be an 8-hour epic in their own right.
*Xenos
Stalingrad
Oh you call it war! We call it sport.
But people get hurt and some even die!
Yes that's sports to us.
I like the translator in the first story. Usually all species are either wary of humanity or think we're pathetic and try to attack us. But the tarvi actually get along with us closely and aren't just taken along with our insane ventures.
There's another short little documentary about more recent human conflict, one set in space called 'Astartes'.
"Ya see this? THIS is what happens when you won't haste in war efforts!"
"Here comes the sun, do do de doo"
🤣😂
Cranky, hungover Sun.
I just hope they did one of the mastered versions... Black and white just doesn't show the awesomeness of that beautiful sunrise enough.
i laughed out loud at the ''is this the description of laser tag?''
Should have shown them starship troopers as well
Yeah but that would show us losing
@@PlagueRunner got to give them a little bit of hope to make crushing them all the sweeter
I kinda wish in the second story the aliens were just still casual about it and thought that, yes while that was brutal, they still wanna have a good old war and what not. It's fun!
Only saw Saving Private Ryan, but I'm surprised that alone wasn't enough. If they need more movies, they could always do "We Were Soldiers Once," "13 Hours," "American Sniper," "Lone Survivor," "Act of Valor" or "Black Hawk Down." Granted, all of those would probably have made them die of shock.
No Saving Private Ryan was the shot that killed the horse the rest was hitting the body for shits and giggles. With a shotgun. At whatever would be the optimal range for as much blood and meat as possible flying through the air.
New intergalactic war crime: showing human war movie
All quiet on the western front
Aliens: "Would you like to have a war with us? We brought pamphlets."
Generals: *Gathered Concern*
Canadian ambassador: "We brought hockey sticks!"
I had to hard-reset myself by smacking oneself in front of my head from non-stopping giggling I had about #2
Chuckle ... Glad to see (hear) that advise given and was acted upon. You should not have any more idiotic algorithms disrupting the income flow. Cheers from a Canadian Northern Bear.
thank you , glad you enjoyed
Human cinema was banned anywhere outside human-controlled space, I couldn't keep from smiling at that.
Cute first story - i assume that when the declaration of war goes out, it's effective immediately? And applies to the diplomats making the threats too? Foolish. And a damn shame.
Liked the second one too - and it was good that kept it to real wars we actually had rather than science fiction like Starship Troopers (too silly) or Astartes (too awesome), because they might think we were trying to bluff them into thinking we're good at war.
Poor its... They must have been scarred for life after that... Eh but I've seen worse... Wait a minute... So that's why they banned humanity's movies!!!
For the algorithm!!
Tari is funny, Leeroy Yenkins as well ahahahaha too bad they didn't made them watch Warsaw, a movie documentary about the capture of Warsaw
Which is precisely why the Russian general gave up his straw... Any of the Russian dramas would have taken hours.
Smol alien translator dude: "...immersive. "
Me: 😲😆 "MXR!!!! WOOO!"
Two stories easily defined as "you really don't know whom you're fecking with, do you?" Heheh
true
At least the second group had the sense to provide a pamphlet with ground rules. Finding out could have been so much worse.
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
Maybe an author sees this im not much of a writer so I hope to pass this on to someone competent
There are many clinical psychopaths living productive lives that are actually a benefit to their community or serial killers who have learned to act completely harmless
I want to see one if these creatures kept in check by law and public shame unleashed on an alien planet where such mental disorders are seen as grounds for termination at birth but also considered nearly impossible to occur
I will consider it.
There is a story about a planet full of sedated sociopaths getting released by aliens that thought they were prisoners and not mental patients, but I can’t remember the name of it.
"Dove right into the thick of them yelling 'Leeroy Jenkins'! WHY?!" ROFLMAO!!!
Because they aliens hadn’t demanded they lay down arms, so “Molon Labe” wasn’t thematically appropriate.
Two wonderful examples of shock and awe
That second one had me the most. Human cinemas banned. Not totally unbelievable. Side note could you imagine the field day the soldiers would have had? Laser tag is fun as a civie imagine trained troops playing laser tag 💛🤣🤣🤣
Squirrel! The segmented parts have the formal invitation story first but you read it last!
corrected
The aliens declare a war and accidentally describe a rugby match
yarp
Found the videos end. :(
Damn shame ...
Now to rewatch some classics hoping to find the name of a series I want to finish reading.
(It is the one where 2 aliens land ignore the humans gathered to meet them then shot the ambassador standing in front of them and promptly get killed by the crowd. I thought I remember it being a series with only the first chapter narrated but don't know if it is completed on reddit.)
In the second story they should have shown them a gameplay of DOOM Eternal.
Doom really isn't a good depiction of actual war. Or actual human fighting tactics for that matter since Doomguy is explicitly superhuman in the more recent games.
And in that theatre room... there wasn't a clean seat in the house.
brown chair time
Here comes the sun do do do do
Uh, Agro, you kind of... swapped the order of the stories there.
Also, seems showing what we have actually done in war is a better deterrent than actually showing up to fight these days. Good.
removed story numbers and corrected video chapters
"Strutting confident animal" - I'm imagining llama Kuzco from Emperors New Groove
I love the idea of an alien scholar trying to do research on the legendary warrior... Leroy Jenkins.
Some greatly reduced violence made the ambassadors huddle into a ball.
Dr. Henry Jones, Jr. would approve of the swift resolution of things in the first story.
cracking
I'm sure the Russian showed movie with Stalingrad in the title or War and Peace.
"so what you are telling me is that the movies that make them scared is always about something they cant stop or kill"
"pretty much"
"and everything else?"
"oh, they find a way to stop it or kill it, usually with large explosions, be it giant monsters or meteors coming to earth. Did you know they even made one about drilling a hole to their own planets core to jump start it so the magnetosphere doesnt dissapear?"
"what...the...fu..?"
My god... I snort giggled so many times, and outright guffawed at the "Leeeeeroyyyyyy Jeeeeeenkiiiinssss" Ah I remember the first time I saw the original video for that one. You should look it up and give it a watch. Very funny.
it watched it back when it was still new ;)
At least I got chicken.
Saving Private Ryan is really tame to be honest. Hacksaw Ridge, Fury, 1918, anything to do with Band of Brothers, on the other hand... don't get me wrong, they're all great, but some depictions capture more of the fog of war than others.
I personally would have said for the second story, "Just so we are clear, that is our definition of a small planetary conflict nowadays, for what we consider to be a galactic scale conflict, we shall provide you with a set of books about a media series called 'warhammer 40000' the numbers are a bit inflated from what we currently have, but if you give us time, we can certainly achieve that. I particularly like The Fall of Cadia, just remember, the planet broke before the soldiers defending it did. "
The numbers in 40k are severely under inflated. More people caught in the eastern front of WWII than guardsmen in some of the canonical major planetary conflicts.
@@mcarrowtime7095 true, but there are over a quadrillion guardsmen, their weaponry and armour, while basically flashlights and tissue paper compared to what they're going against, is still vastly more powerful than anything we currently have, and their "light" tanks, have topspeeds in the 100km/h range, whilst having armour and guns that put our superheavy tanks to shame.
Us to aliens: "You know... we could just play you in rugby or hockey or something... maybe soccer?"
So, xenos in 2nd one interpret war as only part of diplomacy.
OO-ooh boy...
General von Clausewitz has entered the chat.
Ooo. I usually don't catch these live!🤯
noice
My suggestion would be A Bridge too Far, The Longest Day, and All Quiet on the Western Front.
I mean you could also include We Were Soldiers, Platoon, Dunkirk, Blackhawk Down... really, we have tons of options.
@@dairoleon2682
Platoon was too anti-America at war with ourselves and I haven't actually seen the others.
AQOTWF. There’s a reason gas weapons were banned.
maybe 1917 I think the Generals were trying to show them the brutality and scope to what earth calls a "war". so they went with the more accurate movies. TLD is tame to the opening mins of saving Private Ryan. and all quiet is more of internal look at the toll the war took on "the lost generation"
Those are all quite good.
Throw in Warhorse and Saving Private Ryan for some modern classics as well.
Invitation to war is now one of my favorites so far! xD
Screw the algorithm, FOR LEROY JENKINS!
indeed
Moral of the story: Humanity ought to come with a "Do Not Touch" or "Yes we're frecking insane" warning signs 🤣
Everyone turned British there In The first story lol “damn shame”
I would bet the ship they went back to went by the name of "His Magesty's Space Ship...".
Deathworlders and their silly Lazer tag games=Zenos definition of War. Lol.
Xenos: We would like a war.
Humans: No you wouldn't.
Leeroy Jenkins!!!
Thank you for the video.
a pleasure
Ah, when we fight. WE FIGHT!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the story. For the Algorithm, and hope the return of one of my precious sock
And bock's car brought sunshine on a cloudy day
Thank you for the reading
War is a game to us, Oh..... so none of you are really good at it huh?
lol
Man it was a damn shame that the declared war.
indeed
Bless the Squerril
Bless the Author
For the Fiction
Second story starts 5:04-5:06
corrected
For the algorithm
I gotta say, its a real shame they didnt show any Mel Gibson movies. "We were soldiers" or "the patriot" would've been fuckin phenomenal.
I cant describe how hard it would be to keep a straight face watching the aliens see the de-gloving scene
“Peace is our profession.”
Sovei should have just showed them 'Come and See'...no one can watch that movie and think war is anything but horror and despair.
I'm surprised they didn't pick Apocalypse Now or Full Metal Jacket
"War. I do not think that word means what you think it means."
to be fair, the alien war sounds more like paintball or airsoft than laser tag.
Oh as soon as I heard war movie I prayed for saving private Ryan to be mentioned
Keeping in mind the needs of others... like holidays!😅🤨no. Let's try it our way, will call it, movie day, lol!
Story one, that was a short war.
damn shame I didn't catch the premier, oh well
neither did I , lol
neat
No Verdun? They went super easy on them...
Second story had giggling like a child hahaha
:)
thanks so much!
The numbering of the stories is messing with me.
Blessed be Agro and the Algorithm.
Damn Shame For the Algorithm11!
#1 is hilarious af!
A great pair of stories.
Uh... I just put headphones on... what is that playing in the background of the 1st story?
To please the algorithm is all
Here comes the sun
LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!!
"We want to declare war on you, here are the rules"
*Reads it*
"I belive we have a different definition of what 'WAR' is than what YOU belive it to be"
Neat
:)
Hmmm...they should add vlad the impaler to the mix. I m sure theres some documentary of how hes waging his war.
Saving Private Ryan.......of all the choices.......
Here's comes the sun
😂😂😂
For the algorithm!