One time I told him “I’m glad you’re ignoring me, it’s just teaching me to be without you” HE CALLED IMMEDIATELY! And was like “no come on let’s talk let’s talk”
If they don't want a relationship, why stay and punish the good people? I get it! CONTROL! THAT IS SICK MIND! Come to find out that's exactly what he did to punish me for 15 years. It's over now! Five months of complete peace and no contact. I have my life back and I'm not depressed over the devil anymore. I won't have to sit here wondering if he loves me. I know the answer to that one. Thanks to Mr. Lee.
My God! This is another brilliant video and describes my life with the covert narc perfectly. He literally “chases” people who reject him-and this goes for men and women. His buddy dodged him for years, and he hunted him down like wild game until the poor guy succumbed to the covert narc’s stalking and accepted his friendship. He did the same with me. I initially rejected him because I didn’t want anything serious at the time. He was relentless in seeking my attention and ultimately my commitment to him, and then he discarded me like a box of rotten eggs. I was astounded. I hope other viewers are taking heed to what you’re sharing. It is 100% accurate.
This is my life story. 19 years later I'm free...I was loved bombed with cars dinners and money. Only to be depressed and with a child who he refuses to take care of.
@Mar Quita me too. 27 years for me. Unreal. It is a spiritual battle wrapped around catastrophic events making it harder to get away. But they feel nothing but happiness and make you feel like the one who is not appreciating the lifestyle.
@@jeanniecannon4612 I took my child and left. My lawyers deals with him now. I am happy I'm content and finally at peace. I'm I'm thepary and I'll get pass all this.
@@CreolQueensEnvyme7159 my story exactly. This is the second year away from him. He refuses to take care of his child. The financial Abuse is outa the roof. He will beg me to come back and these problems will go away😀
@@CreolQueensEnvyme7159 my story exactly. This is the second year away from him. He refuses to take care of his child. The financial Abuse is outa the roof. He will beg me to come back and these problems will go away😀
Once you have been through this once, you will be able to spot it early in your next relationships. I don't chase, period. I will date a narcissist but never get emotionally attached because then you lose any and all control. Keep at arms length, if they start trying to breadcrumb you don't take the bait. Be like a cat on a leash, you walk at your pace or not at all. If it ends, so be it because truthfully most of these relationships are dead in the water as soon as they begin. Life's too short to wind up with someone playing games.
I have to laugh from the beginning. "I am your FAVORITE narcissist" 😂 of course Lee you cannot be just our narcissist. You are the best narcissist of all narcissist of the world.
Mine told me “I’ll just let you leave because now that you see me for who I am, you don’t like me so now you’re not being the same. I need you to love me like the person you thought I was” WOW.
My ex husband (diagnosed NPD) wanted to come back. I told him he'd have to be accountable and it will take work. An hour later, he said ",I just started seeing someone this week. Sorry. I can't come back" That messed me up. I educated myself and learned what NPD is now. I will NEVER allow another Hoover.
Mine just recently was like (over text message) ‘I don’t want to be the person I was and I’m trying to change’ Me: ‘if that’s actually true, then that also involves you taking responsibility for the things you do.’ Him: ‘yes, yes of course I do. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want us to be friends. We have kids together and wouldn’t it be better if we were friends at the very least?’ Me: ‘ well, yes. But in order for us to be friends, it starts with you taking responsibility for what you have done to me in the past, also. And.. that’s A LOT. … Are you sure you want to do that?’ Him: *sends me a weird, badly worded word salad about not remembering things and how can he be sorry if he doesn’t remember an incident* Me: ‘just because someone kills someone and later doesn’t remember it, doesn’t mean they won’t go to jail. You not remembering things doesn’t absolve you.’ Him: ….ok. And we haven’t talked since (three-ish weeks). You can’t change the fact that you have the disorder, but you can change how you treat people and take responsibility for the things you’ve done to hurt people. I could see instantly with that word-garble message that he had no real interest in actually doing any of that for real. Rather, I could see that his goal was/is to try to change my perception of him, make me believe he’s a ‘changed/changing person’ because it’s so much easier than actually putting in the effort. Mind you, he hasn’t been bothered to contact me about his children in over a month. One can easily say, it’s a two way street! And that is correct. But he is the type of person that if I started making effort with visitation because I’ve left that entirely in his hands.. he then would deliberately start making less and less effort on his part, forcing me to make more and more of the effort to retain consistency for the children, until I’m making all of it. I’m not keeping him from his kids though, he literally lives a 15 minute walk from my house, I reply to his messages and calls when/if he decides to contact me and if he were to turn up at my house at a normal hour, I would have no problem inviting him in to spend time with the kids.
@@HoneyBakedHamlet that’s crazy , my kids dad live 2 blocks away from me. He goes months without speaking to me and now he gets super angry because any time he calls I ask him if he’s ready to tell the truth about a situation that happened the last time he had our kid. I’m done moving forward like nothing happened, and I’m glad he goes missing so I don’t have to deal with him
This makes so much sense to me. This is exactly what my husband did. He worked hard for me and in hindsight I see it all now. Punishment, all that. Wow.
Can't believe how on point this is After my marraige to a narc I pick up a covert narc Not attracted but he worked for me I told him Told him i felt safe with him And you know the rest Treated me like scum at a point But blamed it on depression n mental issues Worst than any person i ever dated Even the one i had married before Its exactly like this Towards the end he looked at me evil and called me fn conceited
@ Isla, I understand and it’s confusing after being in it for so long due to the commitment we made. I felt safe too but bored and unloved. They can make you feel sorry for them in the beginning telling you that women like the bad boys. Wow, hook line and sinker and now feel stupid. And he also said I’m usually nervous around most women but you make me feel comfortable. Then after one child it gets even worse. It’s a lonely depressing road that leads to more trauma. Yes trauma bonded. Lord have mercy.
I think I took my heart back when he left a bottle of wine and a gourmet chocolate 🍫 with a bite out of it, at my doorstep after a no contact 🙃. Rude, not respecting my boundaries, and mocking my attempt to heal and move on from an emotionally unavailable jerk. It felt like an empty pursuit of attention; no companionship. What a shell of a person. Sad.
They will punish you for them not being you. Basically my ex narc would say no one ever hits on me the way people hit on you. Or he would say you are young and fit and can eat whatever you want etc. he was SO jealous of me and hated me because he couldn't be me. They are never your partner. They are your enemy. They are jealous of YOU !
This is LEGIT my situation I turned him down for YEARSSSSSS Finally decided and when I tell you he broke me all the way down. Ive taken him back numerous times but now Ive finally been discarded for good I still hurt still wish he wld come back at times but whewwww Im working hard to get back to me. Love the channel!! Really need the videos. Makes feel not so crazy
This is why I’m really worried for my ex’s new potential supply. But with saying that, I know there’s nothing to do but sit back and watch them find out the hard way what he’s really about, even though he’s going to destroy another person who I imagine is just as lovely, kind and empathetic as myself. It’s frustrating, but I will say and do nothing.
Yes, your freedom is a blessing and she's not going listen to you. He on a smear campaign against you and she's listening and on the lookout for your call. Don't warn her about ish let her learn the hard way.
Lol. Yep. Every single word. He was short, bald, morbidly obese and not well-endowed and that's an understatement. Thought I was safe. Not even close. He was mad because he had to work at all, wanted a committed relationship within one week of meeting. Thank you.
You are so spot on , wish I could see your video 1 year ago …. Got almost entangled with one of your kind … boy the golden period and future faking were out of this world… it felt like in the dream … but then I realised, what is too good to be true cannot be true. Later slow push and pull started... Excuses and small silent treatment .Good I have listen to my intuition and few of your videos, but this trumps them all. Thank you !
A narcissist will not allow you to feel superior to them or more attractive. They will make you feel insecure and devalue you so that they feel better about themselves. I think the more attractive you are, especially if you are more attractive than them, they're gonna make sure that they work extra hard at tearing down yourself esteem..
Every word you said was so true and explained my last relationship! He tried to take away my confidence and was so toxic felt like I lost a part of me but I needed to go through it to make me a stronger person.
This makes so much sense. When I gave my ex husband a second chance he begged, he told me he wanted to change and he made effort for a whole 6 weeks 😂 I was tough and stuck to my boundaries in those 6 weeks and then I didn’t. You’re so right on they focus what makes you sad - the worst thing for me is verbal abuse.. well the next 6 months full of verbal abuse, suicide threats, other threats etc and apparently it’s because I didn’t make him feel important or special enough so I deserved it. I carried on with the divorce thank god. I could never understand why make all this effort to not follow through with anything positive! All I asked was treat me with respect and we’ll try lol but now i understand why!
@Katie mine never begged. He used another tactic. Silent treatment. and making me feel guilty for even discussing these issues from emotional neglect and no intimacy. Never complimented me. Never validated my feelings. Stone cold.
On point 1,000% I dated an ugly narcissist that did exactly what you just said. I really didn’t want him at first because he is weird looking but once he got me he made me pay for it.
I was told that it is a man's job is to work to get the woman, and once he does, it is now the womans job to make the man want to stay. The nice kind person I had know was gone at that point.
Thank you. I saw it but hearing you say it - and so many of your other videos - just validates everything I already saw & felt intuitively 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 This is the work of a good man, to do this for people Lee.
Unfortunately very true! Not your normal type, chases you and then you chase them. Then they hurt you worse because you didn't think they would hurt you!💔 Get to a place of indifference and make a plan to leave if they can not prove by actions that they are changing. See what they do when you say NO.
Once you've become aware and extricated yourself from the follie a deux, you can't "make" the narcissist do anything. From that point the narcissist's pursuit or emotional meltdowns become a gross reminder of the disgusting nature of the connection that existed. If you still want and encourage the pursuit, you're just as sick as the narcissist. You know you're on the right track when the thought of the narcissist makes you cringe and you truly wish that any thought of you could be removed from the narcissist's mind.
Every single detail, down to the leprechaun 🍀 is my story! Every single thing I felt & every single the narcissist did! 🙏 for saying it straight up & clear as day!
I think what you are doing with your videos is very brave of you and very helpful to people . Thank you. I can say I’ve learned some things about the narcissist patterns they use to manipulate you. Luckily I got out and didn’t respond to them. But the last time they tried flipping everything and would try and come back every time they had problems with the other persons . I wasn’t expecting anything from them and honestly didn’t want anything. They go silent all the time sometimes for months only to try and text or speak to see we’re they stand in my life. I just ignore them but I think it’s made it worse
Thank you endlessly for what you're doing. I was wondering if you could do a video on the progress you've made in therapy and the impacts it's had on yourself and your relationships please?
Haha come down from the ivory tower.. 😏 nope! Sometimes my husband said ‘get off your high horse’, I say ‘nope I live here, you rise up on a taller horse, I’m not lowering myself just because you don’t want to rise up, not coming lower just to make you feel better’
Once you say you forgive them they will get worse. They will try more and more things to see what pushes your buttons. It can get diabolical. Seen it first hand. Either take it as a lesson or let it eat you from the inside out.
I JUST had a lightbulb moment. I was with the ex over 17 years and you are right I wasn’t attracted to him at first. I had just gotten out of a relationship (not a bad one it had just run it’s course) and he swooped in to save me. The narc made it seem like my ex was crazy and he was saving me. 🤯🤯 Wow…. I obviously fell for it hook, line and sinker. 20 years later I’m watching videos on YT putting the puzzle pieces together.
Your channel has been so helpful to me as a Black, non binary, disabled person. Toxic ppl come in all shapes, sizes, etc. So thank you for throwing that in there because contrary to popular belief, the LGBTQ+ community is not all rainbows and sunshine Anyway, I’ve gotten a lot of shit from ppl, cluster B or not because I actually have standards and want to be taken on dates and such, I usually get ghosted or stood up but I’m seeing that rejection is protection now. I was on a date every other weekend in my 20s, why should I settle for less now in my 30s? After my most recent experience, I said I gotta stop telling ppl what I been through, I want to meet ppl who are genuine and want to date at a steady pace. You just reaffirmed all my confidence and the work I been doing, so thank you!
Love this man. You are pink and positive. I am so proud of you as a person with a psychology degree. Your awareness of this subject is fabulous. I can't stop watching you. If he didn't possess NPD I would marry him. LOL
I was dying when you said this is the millionth year. I'm in a situation now. Destroyed my life for her 🤦🏿♂️My situation is soooooo effed up it's not funny.
You are one bright NPD guy Lee...Keep making videos. I love how you take something so tragic and make me laugh. Sometimes, you really do have to laugh over it all. We need your videos so keep up the great work!
Omgosh!! I love listening to you… had me laughing at the “Leprechaun” part! 😂 but you are on point with EVERYTHING you say. It’s like I’m reliving my last 9 years. Thanks for doing what you do! God bless!!🙏🏻🦋
We tell all our partners how to make us happy. That’s normal. Our significant other doing the things we told them we like is normal. Healthy people will do the things that make you happy because they empathize and when you are happy they are happy. Its not a game to win for a healthy person. This video answers a lot of questions for me. Giving selflessly is hard work for a person with NPD tendencies. Its like a game of chess for them, but the rest of us don’t realize we are playing so we are confused when rules and consequences appear.
So, when I can't stop thinking about... *him* and I celebrate a morning when I realise in the afternoon that I didn't think about *him* once. That's a trauma bond? I've heard about it but that explains a lot for me. I didn't really know what it meant before. So, I'm not crazy? This was done on purpose. I remember when *he* was, well looking back I suppose *he* was almost, bragging about something *he* had done to me, one visit. Apparently it's a "bonding" experience... The scary thing was. It was AFTER THAT EXPERIENCE, I WAS HOOKED! I've always said "To control a woman, you must have her mind." It's like entering, without permission.. and you didn't even know *he* was there, until it's already too late. 😔
“Nothing from nothing leaves nothing .. “ billy Preston .. narcs ain’t got no empathy and that’s nothing in my war to be emotionally free to be able to laugh with good ppl who feel these things too
You are not lying I’ve been married to my husband (narc) for 19 yrs and I didn’t want him at first then he was so persistent now he’s a lil monster and he’s with a new dummy but you are 💯 accurate wow you are the truth
OMGosh that’s me all the way.!!! This is what I go through daily and it’s horrible and sometimes it’s like being in hell…. I think cuz I’m the shell now and horribly isolated. I call Gaslighting a shock collar kind of like what dogs wear. It teaches us empaths to back off so it doesn’t get worse.
It is normal being treated differently than how he treats me. His brother lied stole and everything but he is so nice to him. He will talk to me like trash then flip a switch. Like I'm crazy. Thank you for sharing
Omgeeee I just literally went through this same scenario 😱😱😱 BUT I got rid of him and went no contact before I got in deep. Now I know for sure I did the right thing and that I don’t ever need to talk to him again. He was NOT my type at all and I wasn’t attracted to him AT ALL but “felt safe” with him after leaving the narc I had been with. You just spoke the whole situation 😳😳😳. As I started to think things over I realized he is a narc too and that I was about to go from the pan to the fire smdh. So glad my intuition kicked in. I know better now going forward. I kept sayin I am not about to be played by his ugly self, then I’m gonna REALLY feel like crap. NAH!!! 😂😂🤣😂😂😂☺️
Same here. I wasn't really attracted. Knew him for 4 months. Started to feel safe so I started to date him. Lovebombed like a MF. 3 months in the mask fell and I saw the demon. I got out and didnt look back. 2 months late he tried hoovering. I didnt respond. He is not in the best of health. He better go sit down before God lay him down 💀
Brilliant video 👍. I'm guessing you mean by feeling safe that it's because we aren't that attracted to them at first so we think there's no chance they'll hurt us? Strangely enough it's the ones that grew on me that I ended up feeling most trauma bonded to and were the hardest to get over once they devalued me. Where there was instant chemistry, they turned ugly on the outside as well.
I really appreciate these videos!!! I have learned a lot and I have come so far because of these videos!!! Just wish I knew about this stuff a year ago!!! I could've had a better 2021 if I had known this sooner!!!
🗣 I DID NOT LIKE HIM! Didn’t think he was even attractive. I couldn’t even look at him. And then BOOM.. I’m caught up! 🤦🏽♀️ I had a fight and he was there… and didn’t protect me… I knew I wasn’t safe foreal.. I KNEW!!
I fee you imma a self aware narcissistic however I have basic knowledge of how to communicate with all people... IT'S STILL NOT EASY FOR ME TO FORGIVE AFTER I AM EFFECTED by my partner or
@Taha Kha the same way you take care of your home or vehicle....you wouldn't just open your front door to any ole body....you wouldn't let any random person open your car door and just drive your vehicle...you must protect yourself the same way...use the God-given spirit of intuition and discernment
Every one’s normal is different. Honestly I don’t think there’s a normal but people will have their own opinions about what it is. After being with someone who took you for granted it is hard. Only you will know when it’s time and who you can be open with
The one I’ve been TBd to is the most beautiful guy I’ve dated. And I’ve told him so. He seems to be punishing me for not doing things the way he does them, not liking the things he likes, and not giving up the lifestyle I have to take on the lifestyle he likes or seems to want me to have. Is that a thing? Do narcissists want us to mirror them?? We keep parting and coming back together over those points with me trying to accommodate a little of what he seems to need without giving up anything I need. I’m not quitting my job or school, selling my house, and moving in with him. That reeeeeally seems to be what he wants (though he doesn’t say it). That’s the kind of relationship he seems to prefer based on what he tells me of his past relationships.
You are so funny 😆😂 but so real✊🏾👏🏾
I appreciate it
Yesss
It seem like the narc wants to be alone. They’re so wondered about winning a game no one is playing. Sad. That must be exhausting
One time I told him “I’m glad you’re ignoring me, it’s just teaching me to be without you” HE CALLED IMMEDIATELY! And was like “no come on let’s talk let’s talk”
😃😃😃
Lmao! Typical narc!
Yep. That's all it does
They also punish you if you leave them and then come back.
🎯🎯🎯🎯
If they don't want a relationship, why stay and punish the good people? I get it! CONTROL! THAT IS SICK MIND! Come to find out that's exactly what he did to punish me for 15 years. It's over now! Five months of complete peace and no contact. I have my life back and I'm not depressed over the devil anymore. I won't have to sit here wondering if he loves me. I know the answer to that one. Thanks to Mr. Lee.
A narcissist deprives you of solitude without providing you with companionship.
So spot on!
My God! This is another brilliant video and describes my life with the covert narc perfectly. He literally “chases” people who reject him-and this goes for men and women. His buddy dodged him for years, and he hunted him down like wild game until the poor guy succumbed to the covert narc’s stalking and accepted his friendship. He did the same with me. I initially rejected him because I didn’t want anything serious at the time. He was relentless in seeking my attention and ultimately my commitment to him, and then he discarded me like a box of rotten eggs. I was astounded. I hope other viewers are taking heed to what you’re sharing. It is 100% accurate.
i appreciate it. stay strong
This is my life story. 19 years later I'm free...I was loved bombed with cars dinners and money. Only to be depressed and with a child who he refuses to take care of.
@Mar Quita me too. 27 years for me. Unreal. It is a spiritual battle wrapped around catastrophic events making it harder to get away. But they feel nothing but happiness and make you feel like the one who is not appreciating the lifestyle.
@@jeanniecannon4612 I took my child and left. My lawyers deals with him now. I am happy I'm content and finally at peace. I'm I'm thepary and I'll get pass all this.
@@CreolQueensEnvyme7159 my story exactly. This is the second year away from him. He refuses to take care of his child. The financial Abuse is outa the roof. He will beg me to come back and these problems will go away😀
@@CreolQueensEnvyme7159 my story exactly. This is the second year away from him. He refuses to take care of his child. The financial Abuse is outa the roof. He will beg me to come back and these problems will go away😀
18 years… 3 years free and he’s still trying to find a way to ease his way back in… our son is 18 years old so it’s a wrap
Once you have been through this once, you will be able to spot it early in your next relationships. I don't chase, period. I will date a narcissist but never get emotionally attached because then you lose any and all control. Keep at arms length, if they start trying to breadcrumb you don't take the bait. Be like a cat on a leash, you walk at your pace or not at all. If it ends, so be it because truthfully most of these relationships are dead in the water as soon as they begin. Life's too short to wind up with someone playing games.
U are a weeeeetawd
I have to laugh from the beginning. "I am your FAVORITE narcissist" 😂 of course Lee you cannot be just our narcissist. You are the best narcissist of all narcissist of the world.
He's definitely my favorite hands down! :D
Funny how people are even obsessed with the narcissus who are self proclaimed!
@@Maria-qh5hr i think its just refreshing to see someone who is a narcissist tells the truth and validates what we have/are going through.
Nah sorry sam is my fave but lee is top 5 for sure 😈😭
Mine told me “I’ll just let you leave because now that you see me for who I am, you don’t like me so now you’re not being the same. I need you to love me like the person you thought I was” WOW.
🙃🙃
Lol not " thought "
If someone has to do this, they have EXTREMELY SMALL egos. This grandiose representation of the narcissists ego is false.
My ex husband (diagnosed NPD) wanted to come back. I told him he'd have to be accountable and it will take work. An hour later, he said ",I just started seeing someone this week. Sorry. I can't come back" That messed me up. I educated myself and learned what NPD is now. I will NEVER allow another Hoover.
Stay strong. Know that’s tough
Yup I did the same thing and he posted cuffing pics with someone else .
Mine just recently was like (over text message) ‘I don’t want to be the person I was and I’m trying to change’
Me: ‘if that’s actually true, then that also involves you taking responsibility for the things you do.’
Him: ‘yes, yes of course I do. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want us to be friends. We have kids together and wouldn’t it be better if we were friends at the very least?’
Me: ‘ well, yes. But in order for us to be friends, it starts with you taking responsibility for what you have done to me in the past, also.
And.. that’s A LOT. … Are you sure you want to do that?’
Him: *sends me a weird, badly worded word salad about not remembering things and how can he be sorry if he doesn’t remember an incident*
Me: ‘just because someone kills someone and later doesn’t remember it, doesn’t mean they won’t go to jail. You not remembering things doesn’t absolve you.’
Him: ….ok.
And we haven’t talked since (three-ish weeks).
You can’t change the fact that you have the disorder, but you can change how you treat people and take responsibility for the things you’ve done to hurt people.
I could see instantly with that word-garble message that he had no real interest in actually doing any of that for real. Rather, I could see that his goal was/is to try to change my perception of him, make me believe he’s a ‘changed/changing person’ because it’s so much easier than actually putting in the effort.
Mind you, he hasn’t been bothered to contact me about his children in over a month.
One can easily say, it’s a two way street! And that is correct.
But he is the type of person that if I started making effort with visitation because I’ve left that entirely in his hands.. he then would deliberately start making less and less effort on his part, forcing me to make more and more of the effort to retain consistency for the children, until I’m making all of it.
I’m not keeping him from his kids though, he literally lives a 15 minute walk from my house, I reply to his messages and calls when/if he decides to contact me and if he were to turn up at my house at a normal hour, I would have no problem inviting him in to spend time with the kids.
This is not funny but I’m laughing at the ridiculousness of the narcissist. Classic narcissist behavior when faced with their own bullshit 😂.
@@HoneyBakedHamlet that’s crazy , my kids dad live 2 blocks away from me. He goes months without speaking to me and now he gets super angry because any time he calls I ask him if he’s ready to tell the truth about a situation that happened the last time he had our kid. I’m done moving forward like nothing happened, and I’m glad he goes missing so I don’t have to deal with him
This makes so much sense to me. This is exactly what my husband did. He worked hard for me and in hindsight I see it all now. Punishment, all that. Wow.
I’m in this now.
“But this is the millionth year” 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😳😳😳😳😳
😂
Can't believe how on point this is
After my marraige to a narc
I pick up a covert narc
Not attracted but he worked for me
I told him
Told him i felt safe with him
And you know the rest
Treated me like scum at a point
But blamed it on depression n mental issues
Worst than any person i ever dated
Even the one i had married before
Its exactly like this
Towards the end he looked at me evil and called me fn conceited
@ Isla, I understand and it’s confusing after being in it for so long due to the commitment we made. I felt safe too but bored and unloved. They can make you feel sorry for them in the beginning telling you that women like the bad boys. Wow, hook line and sinker and now feel stupid. And he also said I’m usually nervous around most women but you make me feel comfortable. Then after one child it gets even worse. It’s a lonely depressing road that leads to more trauma. Yes trauma bonded. Lord have mercy.
@@embo_5787 yes indeed. Rough life. I would prefer the overt type so I could have ended it quicker. Lord God help me!
Oh crikey yes. He used his mental health as a foundation for future appalling behaviour to me.
I think I took my heart back when he left a bottle of wine and a gourmet chocolate 🍫 with a bite out of it, at my doorstep after a no contact 🙃.
Rude, not respecting my boundaries, and mocking my attempt to heal and move on from an emotionally unavailable jerk.
It felt like an empty pursuit of attention; no companionship.
What a shell of a person. Sad.
This video should be in:
THE "TOP 3 WATCH FIRST BEFORE ANY RELATIONSHIP‼️..."
This is EXACTLY what happens!!! 💯%
😭😭😭😭 I really needed this. Everyone was shocked I was even giving him a chance. I wish I saw this 4 months ago 😭
They will punish you for them not being you. Basically my ex narc would say no one ever hits on me the way people hit on you. Or he would say you are young and fit and can eat whatever you want etc. he was SO jealous of me and hated me because he couldn't be me. They are never your partner. They are your enemy. They are jealous of YOU !
This is LEGIT my situation I turned him down for YEARSSSSSS Finally decided and when I tell you he broke me all the way down. Ive taken him back numerous times but now Ive finally been discarded for good I still hurt still wish he wld come back at times but whewwww Im working hard to get back to me. Love the channel!! Really need the videos. Makes feel not so crazy
stay strong
OMG it make since and u sooo right
This is why I’m really worried for my ex’s new potential supply. But with saying that, I know there’s nothing to do but sit back and watch them find out the hard way what he’s really about, even though he’s going to destroy another person who I imagine is just as lovely, kind and empathetic as myself.
It’s frustrating, but I will say and do nothing.
Yes, your freedom is a blessing and she's not going listen to you. He on a smear campaign against you and she's listening and on the lookout for your call. Don't warn her about ish let her learn the hard way.
It's a waste of time . The new supply is already gone in the head
Exactly. Both of you are right.
@@HoneyBakedHamlet don't dwell on the past. Look to the future..
Pray for them to see it sooner and not fall into the snare , get on rebuilding your life
Lol. Yep. Every single word. He was short, bald, morbidly obese and not well-endowed and that's an understatement. Thought I was safe. Not even close. He was mad because he had to work at all, wanted a committed relationship within one week of meeting. Thank you.
You are so spot on , wish I could see your video 1 year ago …. Got almost entangled with one of your kind … boy the golden period and future faking were out of this world… it felt like in the dream … but then I realised, what is too good to be true cannot be true. Later slow push and pull started... Excuses and small silent treatment .Good I have listen to my intuition and few of your videos, but this trumps them all. Thank you !
A narcissist will not allow you to feel superior to them or more attractive. They will make you feel insecure and devalue you so that they feel better about themselves. I think the more attractive you are, especially if you are more attractive than them, they're gonna make sure that they work extra hard at tearing down yourself esteem..
🥺🎯
Yep
Every word you said was so true and explained my last relationship! He tried to take away my confidence and was so toxic felt like I lost a part of me but I needed to go through it to make me a stronger person.
This makes so much sense. When I gave my ex husband a second chance he begged, he told me he wanted to change and he made effort for a whole 6 weeks 😂 I was tough and stuck to my boundaries in those 6 weeks and then I didn’t. You’re so right on they focus what makes you sad - the worst thing for me is verbal abuse.. well the next 6 months full of verbal abuse, suicide threats, other threats etc and apparently it’s because I didn’t make him feel important or special enough so I deserved it. I carried on with the divorce thank god.
I could never understand why make all this effort to not follow through with anything positive! All I asked was treat me with respect and we’ll try lol but now i understand why!
@Katie mine never begged. He used another tactic. Silent treatment. and making me feel guilty for even discussing these issues from emotional neglect and no intimacy. Never complimented me. Never validated my feelings. Stone cold.
I can relate... it's just too much to repeat
I love how you're teaching me how to manipulate a narcissist, but even better, to detect them! You're very real.
On point 1,000% I dated an ugly narcissist that did exactly what you just said. I really didn’t want him at first because he is weird looking but once he got me he made me pay for it.
😩😩
I was told that it is a man's job is to work to get the woman, and once he does, it is now the womans job to make the man want to stay. The nice kind person I had know was gone at that point.
Thank you. I saw it but hearing you say it - and so many of your other videos - just validates everything I already saw & felt intuitively 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 This is the work of a good man, to do this for people Lee.
Unfortunately very true! Not your normal type, chases you and then you chase them. Then they hurt you worse because you didn't think they would hurt you!💔 Get to a place of indifference and make a plan to leave if they can not prove by actions that they are changing. See what they do when you say NO.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
At least you are good looking. Mine was really ugly
🤗
Once you've become aware and extricated yourself from the follie a deux, you can't "make" the narcissist do anything. From that point the narcissist's pursuit or emotional meltdowns become a gross reminder of the disgusting nature of the connection that existed. If you still want and encourage the pursuit, you're just as sick as the narcissist. You know you're on the right track when the thought of the narcissist makes you cringe and you truly wish that any thought of you could be removed from the narcissist's mind.
This was very good and informative. You can talk as long as you want I'm listening and learning and I thank you
Every single detail, down to the leprechaun 🍀 is my story! Every single thing I felt & every single the narcissist did! 🙏 for saying it straight up & clear as day!
You totally nailed it! I think it hurts worse to go below your comfort zone only to get pulled down to their low level😖
Yup! Got me to feel safe with him. Told him that and boom. Gone. Pulled back the affection, attention etc.
Please do a video on why narc avoid doctors / therapy...
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I swear to god all of your videos are ON POINT.
Ugh, 1 day at a time. Seriously Lee this is amazing I'm still paying
I didn’t feel safe with him necessarily, he was just far too charming.
Safe enough to really be yourself with, right? Tell everything to...
Right the charm distracts you because it’s so overwhelming, you be forgetting everything else
Yep
Proverbs 31 beauty is fleeting and charm a deceit...
I think what you are doing with your videos is very brave of you and very helpful to people . Thank you. I can say I’ve learned some things about the narcissist patterns they use to manipulate you. Luckily I got out and didn’t respond to them. But the last time they tried flipping everything and would try and come back every time they had problems with the other persons . I wasn’t expecting anything from them and honestly didn’t want anything. They go silent all the time sometimes for months only to try and text or speak to see we’re they stand in my life. I just ignore them but I think it’s made it worse
Thank you endlessly for what you're doing. I was wondering if you could do a video on the progress you've made in therapy and the impacts it's had on yourself and your relationships please?
Even getting one true narcissist into therapy is doing work 💪🏻
This video is one of my favs so far and spot on!
Thank you
Haha come down from the ivory tower.. 😏 nope! Sometimes my husband said ‘get off your high horse’, I say ‘nope I live here, you rise up on a taller horse, I’m not lowering myself just because you don’t want to rise up, not coming lower just to make you feel better’
Exactly!!
You are sooooo spot on! I've been with a narc and experienced exactly what you're saying.
True! He was not my type
Once you say you forgive them they will get worse. They will try more and more things to see what pushes your buttons. It can get diabolical. Seen it first hand. Either take it as a lesson or let it eat you from the inside out.
I JUST had a lightbulb moment. I was with the ex over 17 years and you are right I wasn’t attracted to him at first. I had just gotten out of a relationship (not a bad one it had just run it’s course) and he swooped in to save me. The narc made it seem like my ex was crazy and he was saving me. 🤯🤯 Wow…. I obviously fell for it hook, line and sinker. 20 years later I’m watching videos on YT putting the puzzle pieces together.
Man these videos are life changing. Thank you im not crazy but still hurt 😟
Glad you like them!
You are so spot on ! On ALL your videos. Listen to this guy.
Thank you for your honesty.
The perspective you share is profound and insightful to many narcissist victims, thank you
Thank you
Leprechaun 🍀 narcissist 😆 I appreciate you so much
😁 Thank you
Your channel has been so helpful to me as a Black, non binary, disabled person. Toxic ppl come in all shapes, sizes, etc. So thank you for throwing that in there because contrary to popular belief, the LGBTQ+ community is not all rainbows and sunshine
Anyway, I’ve gotten a lot of shit from ppl, cluster B or not because I actually have standards and want to be taken on dates and such, I usually get ghosted or stood up but I’m seeing that rejection is protection now. I was on a date every other weekend in my 20s, why should I settle for less now in my 30s?
After my most recent experience, I said I gotta stop telling ppl what I been through, I want to meet ppl who are genuine and want to date at a steady pace. You just reaffirmed all my confidence and the work I been doing, so thank you!
lived it, and bought the goddamn t-shirt. never again. eyes wide open.
#money… Huge script-flippers…thank you for your transparency!!
Love this man. You are pink and positive. I am so proud of you as a person with a psychology degree. Your awareness of this subject is fabulous. I can't stop watching you. If he didn't possess NPD I would marry him. LOL
It all makes sense. A peek into a scary mindset.
This is crazy this is what happened to me.
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I was dying when you said this is the millionth year. I'm in a situation now. Destroyed my life for her 🤦🏿♂️My situation is soooooo effed up it's not funny.
You are one bright NPD guy Lee...Keep making videos. I love how you take something so tragic and make me laugh. Sometimes, you really do have to laugh over it all. We need your videos so keep up the great work!
I love your personality!! Keep up the good work!! ❤️
Thank you
Omgosh!! I love listening to you… had me laughing at the “Leprechaun” part! 😂 but you are on point with EVERYTHING you say. It’s like I’m reliving my last 9 years. Thanks for doing what you do! God bless!!🙏🏻🦋
I never noticed him.. He had been watching me. When first made my acquaintance he called by my name like he already knew me.
Thank you ! for this, seriously u got no idea how much you have just helped me see what has happened to me with this video ! Hello from New Zealand
"Damn!! Even the ugly ones act funny" lolol
You are helping me understand and make better choices with the narc in my life....thank you
stay strong
Wish I would have found you years ago. Life would have made so much more sense. Thank you for what you are doing.
We tell all our partners how to make us happy. That’s normal. Our significant other doing the things we told them we like is normal. Healthy people will do the things that make you happy because they empathize and when you are happy they are happy. Its not a game to win for a healthy person. This video answers a lot of questions for me. Giving selflessly is hard work for a person with NPD tendencies. Its like a game of chess for them, but the rest of us don’t realize we are playing so we are confused when rules and consequences appear.
So, when I can't stop thinking about... *him* and I celebrate a morning when I realise in the afternoon that I didn't think about *him* once. That's a trauma bond? I've heard about it but that explains a lot for me. I didn't really know what it meant before. So, I'm not crazy? This was done on purpose.
I remember when *he* was, well looking back I suppose *he* was almost, bragging about something *he* had done to me, one visit. Apparently it's a "bonding" experience... The scary thing was. It was AFTER THAT EXPERIENCE, I WAS HOOKED!
I've always said "To control a woman, you must have her mind." It's like entering, without permission.. and you didn't even know *he* was there, until it's already too late. 😔
“Nothing from nothing leaves nothing .. “ billy Preston .. narcs ain’t got no empathy and that’s nothing in my war to be emotionally free to be able to laugh with good ppl who feel these things too
This makes a LOT of sense
i try
You are not lying I’ve been married to my husband (narc) for 19 yrs and I didn’t want him at first then he was so persistent now he’s a lil monster and he’s with a new dummy but you are 💯 accurate wow you are the truth
stay strong
Your expertise is appreciated and gives a clear view into the how's and whys. Making it easier to be aware of it and to deal with it.
Omg..... I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT THE NARC... Although he is fine.... I knew he had game.
OMGosh that’s me all the way.!!! This is what I go through daily and it’s horrible and sometimes it’s like being in hell…. I think cuz I’m the shell now and horribly isolated. I call Gaslighting a shock collar kind of like what dogs wear. It teaches us empaths to back off so it doesn’t get worse.
It is normal being treated differently than how he treats me. His brother lied stole and everything but he is so nice to him. He will talk to me like trash then flip a switch. Like I'm crazy. Thank you for sharing
Oh my god yes this definitely happens. Chances are that the brother is even worse than him but it doesn't have to be
Omgeeee I just literally went through this same scenario 😱😱😱 BUT I got rid of him and went no contact before I got in deep. Now I know for sure I did the right thing and that I don’t ever need to talk to him again. He was NOT my type at all and I wasn’t attracted to him AT ALL but “felt safe” with him after leaving the narc I had been with. You just spoke the whole situation 😳😳😳. As I started to think things over I realized he is a narc too and that I was about to go from the pan to the fire smdh. So glad my intuition kicked in. I know better now going forward. I kept sayin I am not about to be played by his ugly self, then I’m gonna REALLY feel like crap. NAH!!! 😂😂🤣😂😂😂☺️
Happened to me too. Never liked fat women, but some how I fell in love with the mask she wore.
Same here. I wasn't really attracted. Knew him for 4 months. Started to feel safe so I started to date him. Lovebombed like a MF. 3 months in the mask fell and I saw the demon. I got out and didnt look back. 2 months late he tried hoovering. I didnt respond. He is not in the best of health. He better go sit down before God lay him down 💀
There’s no pleasing them.
💯
Literally have the nerve to not look good have no money...and you can be popping and they treat you like an option. Absolutely insane.
yep
Good info. It's the truth.
Thank you
Brilliant video 👍. I'm guessing you mean by feeling safe that it's because we aren't that attracted to them at first so we think there's no chance they'll hurt us? Strangely enough it's the ones that grew on me that I ended up feeling most trauma bonded to and were the hardest to get over once they devalued me. Where there was instant chemistry, they turned ugly on the outside as well.
Ya! He wanted me to think I was safe! and right when I got there and moved in my last things, BANG! the mask slipped into hypo drive.
How dare you make a narcissist work hard:-DDDD? Now I finally got what was going on. You are just so funny, love your videos. REALLY THANK U A LOT!
This is exactly my story with my narc ex!
I really appreciate these videos!!! I have learned a lot and I have come so far because of these videos!!! Just wish I knew about this stuff a year ago!!! I could've had a better 2021 if I had known this sooner!!!
This is my beautiful narcissistic face😂😂😂. You are too much😀😀😀
😂😂
You are so so right.
appreciate it
Amazing! You hit the nail
Glad you think so!
Thank u 🙏, I really appreciate u , good video..
Thank you Dorothy
100 %. True . They will try to punish you.
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Wow...bingo!! That happened to me!!!!
My narcissistic face😂😂😂 This is literally the only Narcissist I can take ❤️❤️❤️
🗣 I DID NOT LIKE HIM! Didn’t think he was even attractive. I couldn’t even look at him. And then BOOM.. I’m caught up! 🤦🏽♀️
I had a fight and he was there… and didn’t protect me… I knew I wasn’t safe foreal.. I KNEW!!
I'm embarrassed or angry 😠 or in my egotistical headspace
I fee you imma a self aware narcissistic however I have basic knowledge of how to communicate with all people... IT'S STILL NOT EASY FOR ME TO FORGIVE AFTER I AM EFFECTED by my partner or
lol my story right there . I've learned a lot from you
My question is how can we be open with anyone not knowing who is or isn't a narcissist? What's normal now?
@Taha Kha the same way you take care of your home or vehicle....you wouldn't just open your front door to any ole body....you wouldn't let any random person open your car door and just drive your vehicle...you must protect yourself the same way...use the God-given spirit of intuition and discernment
Every one’s normal is different. Honestly I don’t think there’s a normal but people will have their own opinions about what it is. After being with someone who took you for granted it is hard. Only you will know when it’s time and who you can be open with
The one I’ve been TBd to is the most beautiful guy I’ve dated. And I’ve told him so. He seems to be punishing me for not doing things the way he does them, not liking the things he likes, and not giving up the lifestyle I have to take on the lifestyle he likes or seems to want me to have. Is that a thing? Do narcissists want us to mirror them?? We keep parting and coming back together over those points with me trying to accommodate a little of what he seems to need without giving up anything I need. I’m not quitting my job or school, selling my house, and moving in with him. That reeeeeally seems to be what he wants (though he doesn’t say it). That’s the kind of relationship he seems to prefer based on what he tells me of his past relationships.