loneliness part 2.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2024
- hi! i filmed this video a week ago but have been avoiding to post it because i’m so sacred to be vulnerable after how much engagement my first video got. buttt i have finally forced myself to post it, so here it is. enjoy.
Also sorry TH-cam made the sound quality worse
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tamaralicas...
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The Nicest people are the ones who get hurt the most
Nice guys finished last but we're are the ones who get the last laugh. We winning they losing when they rejected all the nicest people want to come back to our lives its too late
Yes, in a myriad of cases.
@@PrimeChosenOnemaybe you should stop playing the victim. That would help. You are supposed to nice. That’s called human decency. You’re nice because you want something in return. True nice and kind people do things because its the right thing to do
Sorry, but this isn't correct. If anything, it's the opposite.
@@No_co_OK apology accepted
I hate how I see so few girls in the comments...the comments from random men assuming you can't be lonely because you're physically beautiful tick me off so much.
sameeeee'
Yeah it’s really gross honestly. I hope she knows to block anything that makes her uncomfortable 😢
All I see is positive comments from “random men”
She's looking beyond beautiful 😄
I am nothing special but when I was really overweight I had it a lot easier socially than I do now being physically fit people are mean I have a unique perspective of living Both Worlds that I can vouch for I'm not saying I'm anything special how people have no idea that I lost 70 lbs and they make a lot of comments and say a lot of things I feel like wearing a shirt of the old me just so that I don't get judged
Your story is eerily similar to mine. I became suicidal around 15-16 as well. My family was a broken mess. I remember telling parents that I was at the library 'studying' until midnight every day but it was really because I hated going home. I didn't tell anyone at school. The only people that I told were my teacher's because I was so afraid to be judged by my classmates. I was so ashamed of the person I had become although it wasn't really my fault. The once joyous younger version of myself had died. I in turn became an insecure and anxiety filled person. Putting on a fake smile for everyone to see. Life continued but the damage was already done. The way I perceived the world changed completely from my younger self. The world was cruel. It was isolating. It felt as if god had turned his/her back on me. I so desperately wanted to be "normal" and have the friends and family everyone else seemed to have. I know I am kind. I know I want to be happy. I want to make others happy! A few things that have helped me is living day by day. "Worrying is suffering twice". Don't think too far about the future. Don't think about what things will be like in 5 years. 1 year. Just know you have tomorrow and make tomorrow the best day you can. It was something as simple as cleaning my room. Eating 3 healthy meals. Spending a few hours on a hobby. Compare yourself to no one other than yourself. Compare yourself to the person you were a week ago. Create a good experience that you can remember for the day. Complimenting someones dress or support a small creator in their journey. I like to give free lessons to those struggling to ice skate. Do your best to make the world just that little bit brighter. Over time you will begin to see the good in life. If you try to make yourself the best, happiest version of yourself, friends will come naturally. People will feel your positive energy and gravitate to you. There will be people who seek you for friendships! Don't worry about if the next person you meet is your person. Just make sure you find interactions with them meaningful. Give yourself as much time as it takes. After all, life is not a race. Although life may not have treated us the best, let's work our ass off to create the life we want! Thank you for sharing your story and best of luck
well put!
This comment is 👍🏼👍🏼
1st. She is probably trying to make some money here, first video 3k so she made second one in the bed to increase views. -I may be wrong.
2. This is for you: good man is moulded by hard life. You know what to avoid and what you don't want for your kids. Now : its time for you to move to small village where you can talk to neighbour over the fence, you will know few people well, instead of your current situation where you know shit about hundreds of FB friends. Forgot illusion of carrier or money (this will lead you to hell) if you want quality life. Look for your wife by ears not by eyes - they also mislead.
Now you know what to do, choice is yours.
@@tomassamel8880 Socrates has joined us and he knows absolutely everything
@@tomassamel8880 Well, there is a proverb who says that even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise!
Tamara, your courage in sharing your struggles with loneliness is both inspiring and touching. It's a powerful reminder that vulnerability can lead to connection and healing 🌟💛
As a kid i’d have small friend groups throughout different school years but I’d always shut down and not be able to talk around other people who weren’t already a friend. Now that i’m not in school anymore I don’t have anyone that I talk to and I definitely relate to always wanting to make friends but when given the opportunity I feel extremely anxious and I’m not able to talk to them naturally, it feels like i’m forcing myself to come up with things to say. Watching your videos and seeing how you and so many others feel the same loneliness has truly helped me and given me more hope. I wish all of you the best! None of us have to feel lonely forever.
I don't know why but when I hear you talk it seems therapeutic. Thank you!
You're really beautiful and well-spoken! I don't think you have anything to be nervous about. If you were speaking in public or with me I wouldn't think anything is strange about you at all.
Just put yourself out there and meet people. You will meet the right ones for you eventually.
I’m going to turn 34 soon. I never experienced any kind of romantic contact through my life and due to that I feel so lonely. I never had a hug, a date, a kiss, or something as a relationship. The depressing part is that I put myself out there: I asked women out, I signed up on dating sites or joined new groups to meet new people. But every girl rejected me before I had something as a date. More and more I think it is due to my disability (Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) I am suffering from. It seems that whenever I tell women, I only work minimum wage jobs, they seem to be less interested in me. Once a woman even told me, I am a loser for working as a dishwasher.
The older I get, the more depressed I have become. It feels devasting going though life without any kind of intimacy, being rejected over and over again, being told you are not even good enough to get on a date with…
make videos about yourself! show yourself to the world! then maybe a girl stumbling on your page will find you attractive.. theres so many humans out there and maybe you need to find them online!dont give up bro u got this
You’re asking the wrong girls out! Everyone will find a suitable partner no matter how much they may be struggling.
Where do you live man?
My advice is try to stop thinking about age, live in the moment, I know its easier said than done.
Learn to focus on yourself and be happy on your own because if you don't it will be evident for every girl you meet.
Have hobbies and friends and it will come to you, you will still likely have to try but it will infinitely easier.
Relationships should make your life better but they shouldn't be the only thing that props you up.
@ceooflonelinessinc.264 hello, how are you doing? I hope you're doing well. Don't feel bad I'm a 19 year old female, never been in a relationship either, never had true friends ... I'm lonely 24/7, my only true friend is my sister. my goal to become a soldier and serve people is the main reason why I'm alive🥹❤ the only thing I can tell you is that you are important and you deserve better... I wish I were there to give you a hug and take the pain away, but I can't. And yes, people in this case women (not all but the majority) can be rude sometimes or maybe all the time... We live in a cruel world. No wonder why many people are depressed including myself. you seem like a humble and hardworking person💕 I would like to give you a compliment, but I'm bad at it especially with men. I hope you have a nice day or night🌸 sending love to you from Mexico🇲🇽 🌮❤❤
Your problem is your behavior. Stop "putting yourself out there" and live life.
You're so right with the hope thing. The moment we fully lose hope is the moment we lose in life.
"I don't really know why it's taking so long to find my people because I know I'm a good person." I think the scariest thing is, in high school when I decided to mature up and start becoming a better person is when the loneliness really hit. The combination of pursuing being a better person and realising that I was gay in an all-girls school is severely isolating. I thought that once I got to college, I'd find my people. Although I've made friends in college, all my friendships feel superficial. They feel like seasonal friendships, like we're friends of convenience, perhaps we're in the same classes, play the same sport or maybe go to the same gym. But none of my friendships feel real. The few people I do stay in touch with from High school, I have to always push or initiate the conversation and if not that, then they are just talking to me because they need advice. The worst part is, nobody ever really knows, cares or bothers asking what's going on in my life. If I'm being honest, I had more friends in the beginning of High School when I wasn't a good person. And yet even with that knowledge, I'd never want to be that version of myself again.
It seems like your afraid to let people in
@@zekeflores6511I wish it were that simple but it isn't. I think there's a time and a place and I don't think it would be appropriate for me to open up to others in certain circumstances. Like if we play a sport together or see each other in the gym, that's not a space for me to just start opening up about everything. The thing is, you have to feel as though there is a mutual effort between you and the other person. In my case, it's as though I'm the only one who makes an effort because I have a big heart. But I've come to realize, that's not enough and I'm not going to stretch myself thin for others anymore if they won't do the same.
i think everyone who watching this relate to you, thank you so much for the video and remember u not alone!!
You are strong and brave for sharing this with us. I've exactly been in your position, I've been depressed, suicidal, being alone, even when living with my family. Omg I exactly feel the same like my mind is not made to work, and I tried so long to figure that out before. I also feel like I should've died a long time ago. Thank you for making this video. You deserved to be loved and cherished.
If you get a job you will make friends. You see the same people daily and experience a collective struggle. There are other avenues like school, sports, or video games but work is the best option for an adult to make friends. You can become friends with almost anyone if you spend enough time around them.
Actually yeah, getting a job has helped me although it took months before they broke through my shell and I started to make the efforts
@@JCarrera27I don't understand.Were you a turtle before they broke your shell?Wouldn't that hurt?
@@1mortalados63 neh not a turtle, just a ghost in a shell, it does hurt at the beginning but then you start getting used to it
i resonate very deeply with these videos, and found a lot of what you said very relatable, like feeling like you are "cursed" with loneliness. i feel better knowing that there's other people who feel this way too. thank you for sharing this video!
I had a pretty lonely childhood too. Watching Naruto really really helped, for some reason I felt understood. And I'm glad you're looking at the whole spiritual awakening thing. Things will get better, remember that you have what it takes to see it through! Hang in there, you've got this!
Hello Tamara, I have been deaf since birth, I also felt lonely since I was a child, when I was little outside, I was made fun of and I couldn't talk to people, I didn't understand what they were talking about, I just watched how people behaved, I remember that I loved my development and it was a miracle that my sister didn't know mathematics, but I knew how to multiply and that's why I wondered how I knew how to count, I still remember when I was at school, kindergarten, how I saw children teasing others, sometimes I defended them and they ran away from me, but I was tiny and deaf hehe, and when women came to me and said I was sweet, they were a bit like a teddy bear and I was ashamed, I often hid and ran away, but I remember that the girls often defended me because the boys were afraid of me. they laugh at me because I was small and deaf and I
dreamed of being a knight who would protect innocent people and I
believed in love, but I still felt lonely and they often ask me how well I draw, how well I count, I still have a long life history, honestly, I never had a girlfriend or a relationship because I felt that people used me, hurt me and it hurt my heart, I'm already 30 years old and I try to avoid bad, toxic people and I feel better alone, I often go for walks alone, I love animals and nature, but I also feel I really need warm company, lm a lone Wolf😊
You sound like a very kind person. Hoping you enjoy your hobbies or whatever things you like to do. I thought marriage would be amazing but it ended up being very difficult and lonely. I guess we all fantasize about things being better than they actually are. Good luck in your life!
this is such a beautiful story 🥹
I have suffered from loneliness all my life, I am now 32 years old. I dream of that feeling where someone wants to spend time with me and wants to take care of me. I don't know how it feels. I haven't had a good friend in 10 years. I just spent my fourth Christmas all alone at home. It's a terrible feeling. I never thought I would be in this situation. Loneliness should be talked about more, because now it's a taboo topic. I'm trying to stay hopeful but it's hard right now. Life doesn't seem worth living. I just want to be loved and safe.
Feelings and thoughts = depression, anxiety, loneliness.
Work, sports, activities with other people = happiness.
You say you don’t work.
But it’s through meaningful work that you can connect to people.
You are obviously very smart. You seem kind. You are so extremely beautiful that all doors will open for you - if only you act instead of think.
It's not who you are underneath. It’s what you do that defines you.
Go and do! Then you will find happiness.
you should think first, then act. dont get it twisted brotha
I have watched all your videos from the starting to the end ,every corner of them ,and i know houw it feels to be feeling lonely though you're mates around ,because its hard to move steps of the fearness with others ,because of the coziness and safeness from one person alone ,hope beautiful you have beautiful life as well ,just move forward !!!
Rooting for you. honestly
I wasn't lonely at the beginning but got lonelier and lonelier as life goes by, it feels very sad sometimes; the "Universe forgot about me" not a day goes by and I don't feel this, I fought to get its attention for very very long time and slowly gave up, now I can't or don't want even to try to not being lonely anymore, I don't know, I do know though I really really want another lonely person so we can be lonely together.
Really hope you never give up at least I get to see someone else succeeded to get what she wants that brings me joy for sure and makings video is really brave and selfless, I can't imagine doing the same, you took the first step at least putting yourself out there maybe universe can see you now 🌌
I loved this video! You are so deep and thoughtful, and I think you're gonna find your people and they will connect with you on a profound level. And love you. Anyway I hope you do more videos, I'm looking forward to more if you do them. Have a great day Tamara 💜
Its nice to have a platform to engage in and to be able to freely express yourself, because you can find others that have similar feelings to yourself and that can relate to you, and in a way can be comforted by your story.
You seem like such a warm and sweet person. We all can get through this. Thank you for sharing your story.
It also helps being a young attractive white female. 😂
@@itachi_blvckitachi_blvck-jq6pf i mean if that's how you are, then I guess it brought you here.
Hi Tamara I really relate to 12:00 - I'm not lonely because I'm married so I at least get hassled all the time :D - but at some point, the ease of making friends that I experienced in HS and college evaporated. So I have my brother, brothers in law, a couple friends I still occasionally talk to - almost always because I call them - and on it goes. And so I relate to hearing about someone traveling to meet up with a bunch of friends and doing something fun. When I listen to you I think of a paradox that applies to me but I don't think you. Those loud people getting all the attention, I think of them as the types that get lonely. For myself, I notice that I'll be in a conversation and barely even paying attention. I'm a HORRIBLE listener. When you cut to the chase I think I don't have a lot of friends because I'm the center of my own universe, and everyone can tell. Loneliness isn't fun, but I can deal with it so well because of that factor. For you, loneliness seems to be all consuming, but it doesn't sound like you're willing to do "anything it takes" to put yourself out there. I'd be really interested to know what your passions are. What types of things would you be able to talk to someone for hours about? It sounds like travel is one. I encourage you to put yourself out there if loneliness is as bad for you as it seems to be, and use us a sounding board for ideas. Try things we suggest and make videos about what went well or didn't. Get active and put yourself out there, be honest and open with the people you meet about your struggles. Like someone in AA, admitting they have a problem, it can be disarming and people want to support you.
Thank you for your testimony, you’re very brave to tell all this. I recognize myself in a lot of things you tell. Especially when you said that when you’ve been lonely for a long time, everything seems difficult. That’s true. Throughout my childhood I lived in seclusion with my twin brother, with whom I am very much fused. We were both cut off from the world. I have never had friends, girlfriends and especially I never felt the need. I did not feel loneliness like you since I was accompanied but the consequences remain the same. Today I am 21 years old and I am learning to live apart from my brother and I realize that for the moment I am capable of little…
I hope a lot of things will work out for you, you deserve it. You are beautiful, intelligent, you deserve that the world knows you and shares with you. I don’t know you, but I trust in your ability to change. Keep persevering even if it’s hard and long. Things will be better for you, I hope with all my heart. Good luck!
PS: Sorry for the mistake I'm French
Hi Tamara, I just watched your first and second videos on loneliness back to back.
I really wanted to tell you to look into meditation while watching the first video and am glad to hear that you already practised it in the past.
Just know that you might find it beneficial to revisit meditation!
It does wonders on so many levels if you can be consistent even for just 10 minutes a day :)
I greatly resonate with your experience even though I've always been pretty resilient against loneliness, and I found that meditation very much helped with that, in a way it's like training your subconscious to become a close companion to your conscious self, while also improving many other aspects of your being.
Your openness about your experiences really resonated with me.
I've discovered in my own journey that I am neurodivergent, which has been an enlightening realization. Therapy has been a significant part of this journey for me, offering insights that have helped me understand myself better. If it's something you've considered, I can personally say it could be beneficial both to understand the root of the problems you're facing and the spectrum of how your mind works, while helping you continue in your path of being a wonderful person as you already transpire to be :)
I deeply admire the courage you had to speak openly about these topics, all the more on a personal level and hope you can feel better soon.
If you ever come to Italy and visit Rome let me know! I'd be happy to show you around and introduce you to my female friends - I'm sure they will love you eheh 😄
Wish you the best ❤️
It gets better. It is good to see you are doing better. Prayers 🙏🙏🙏
Just to let you know, you will get better. Definitely. Don't worry so much. Every person has a different pace. Some may take a while. Be patient. Just don't be hard on yourself, okay? Life is a very long journey, embrace the journey and believe yourself. Hopefully, you will get better in time. I know it is scary to be vulnerable, that relates to me so much and yes, I still do. I take loneliness as a positive thing and don't compare yourself to others and don't feel bad about it. Who knows, maybe years from now you'll get better, brighter, and happier than today. 😊 I'll pray for you tamara. Love you for who you are ❤
13:40 Hello, Tamara. I can definitely relate to this. My experience with friends wasn't great either, via IRL and Discord, it even made me depressed, twice. I also felt like no-one can really understand me, making it hard for people to connect with me. But don't even feel suicidal, as you said, "Things will get better." It's not that the universe doesn't know what to do with you, it's just not your time yet. Your time will come soon enough.
So strange i get those loneliness videos pop in my feed time to time❤️🥺❤️
Maybe its because im human and care about people and listen to those stories.
I was suffering from depression for years, feeling lonly and like a freak in this world.😓
Years fly away and i found my good friends (and many bad friends) i found love and i lost some.
Things that helped me was medecine, hobbies and music.
I was shy and dident talk much, many up and down in my life.
It also helped me to go out in the nature, walking for miles, getting fresh air, explore the nature.
Our comfy apartment get to comfy to hide in, but we trap our feelings there.
We dont always need to be around people, take your time, eat well, exercise, sleep well.
Talk in forum or chat groups, when you feel for it or have time and energy.
So many wonder in this world, you will find it, it will take time.
After years of depression i find my place in this world, a nice place to live in, a good job, very good friends and i also found an special angel that showed me that i can love again, she also struggle with depression somtimes.
But together we get stronger❤🥰❤️
You will also find the one that you share love with, take your time, suddenly it is just happend.
Big hugs from some one who knows about loneliness ❤🥰❤️
Don't be fooled by your emptiness
There's so much more room for happiness
Lyrics from Kaskade, Room for happiness
Oh Tamara! (just watched both your videos. So compellingly raw, honest and moving).
Plenty of others here more eloquently than I ever could) offering you support and love, expressing their admiration for you, and/or sharing their own experience of loneliness... I could make a stab at all three of these, and it would be both meant & well-intentioned. But I kinda suspect, though I am sure & certainly hope that many of these comments have helped you, they don't perhaps change things for you in the way that you crave. Nor I suspect that I (male, straight(ish), early 60s, not always maybe but currently also incredibly isolated & lonely) can - much as it would be lovely - magically summon up for you much in the way of that transformative sense of connection that you (really! no bullshit) articulate so beautifully! I *do* meanwhile hope, even if you haven't found 'it' yet, that recent days have brought you better news from the universe - indeed, I'd like to believe this might partly explain why you haven't posted a third video... 😊
I would however just like to say this, Tamara, I hope it may help a tiny, tiny little. Simply watching through these 2 videos I feel sure as one ever can be of a person of your strength, of the goodness of your soul, of your lovability. You also have poetry within you - it's why you respond in the way you do to the poetic sentiments you encounter, such as they are, on social media or wherever - I feel (just maybe) the clue, the golden thread, to you finding your path to joy is in realising it's *your* unique poetry, your creative capacity, whatever form it will take, that will eventually open up new possibilities...
God, I hope that doesn't sound too pretentious and/or patronising!! That means it probably does, and I had better shut up. I wish you all the very very best, Tamara. What's more I believe in you!
Life is very strange, and it sadly seems to be getting worse nowadays. Everyone, it’s seems, are becoming more and more alienated. At least that’s what I have been seeing. That said, I am happy you are making an attempt at doing something about it by making these videos. Just felt I needed to say something about my experience, and I hope it’s not taken the wrong way. I grew up in children’s homes and orphanages and I moved around to foster homes after that. I was never anywhere for more than two years growing up so I know what happens to someone that has felt like an outsider. It took me over twenty years to get close to anyone or to open up to people in general. Weird thing is I learned that my lack of talking, or feeling I was not worth talking to, was my own doing. I oozed that alienation, projected it without knowing at first. Hidden in headphones or just quiet and not smiling. People don’t want to talk about sadness or loneliness until after they get to know you. It’s tough. But you must be strong and smile and talk and act like you are not lonely at first. Go to places that interest you and interact, a simple question to someone could start a conversation that opens a whole new world for you. You have shown by this video, and the last, that you are brave. Now go out and use that. Smile and find your freedom!
Nothing to be surprised about, people love authenticity. Best of luck with your future, you will do great.
I share and empathize with a lot of your experiences. You should continue your passion for poetry. Personally, expressing myself through music has allowed me to persevere through my darkest days.
Hey Tamara, I also had a spiritual awakening this year and I just felt the journey was so isolating and that no one understood me. I used to be an atheist but realised we are connected and someone is writing a story for us to experience.
I truly believe love and kindness is such a powerful force and the deep journey within to transform to be more loving and kind to ourselves and others is so wonderful.
I encourage you to find your truth inside and listen to the world. I’ve found my people and I’m sure the “universe” will come your way! If you want to chat about spirituality - feel free to reach out! You are loved and deserved to be loved 😊
Much love
- Martin
Hi Tamara, I find myself relating to you a lot. Over the years I've tried hard to get better with my anxiety. One thing that helped me a lot was deciding to move out from my parents home and start a life in a different city. At first yes of course I was feeling even more lonelier, but you find that being in a new space away from the people you know is a freeing reality. You're free to create your own space and routine, make your own life without judgement, learn to make new friends and be responsible for yourself, and is how I've managed to get better and more comfortable with myself over the years. And btw, theres nothing wrong with travelling the world on your own (its actually something I aspire to do someday hehe), it is after all how my parents met :)
Honestly when I was in my darkest place the thing that kept me going was also the thought of where I'd be in a few years. Whenever it felt like it would never get better I thought "What if tomorrow is the day I wake up and all of the misery is just gone and I miss decades of happiness because I couldn't hold on for one more day, r one more month, etc.". Hope is really what keeps anyone going when it feels like they have nothing.
I really hope it gets better for you and your lonliness goes away.
Part 2! 😊😅👍
Happy to see your video and just to share my experience/opinion: (Overcoming) Your "weakness" will make you stronger and could be your source of strength (i.e. you might empathise, understand others more and maybe even help others). Things take time so just go with the flow.
I think yes we are good hearts with so much love to give but we must not fall into the pitfall that we are entitled to that, we have to learn through the experience of failing over and over to connect with others to ultimately find the other and more importantly ourselves. I also have the same shortcomings, it's hard to always feel positive and ride the wave of motivation, the what end holidays always bring about a wintery loneliness, glad to share a common ground here ❤
I read somewhere that poetry is very therapeutic. Something about the meter, metaphor, and combination of words helps us put ourselves in the proper headspace and figure out our place in the world. I once dated a woman who seemed to feel similar to you. She had spent years after college alone before we got together. She suffered from depression and often told me that although she cared for me, she felt so alone, even though I was standing right in front of her, holding her and showing affection. I didn't get it. Eventually, I learned we all make our own happiness and connectedness to the world. For some, that comes easy. For others, it doesn't. For that woman I dated, she found someone else who helped her find that connection. I guess something clicked. Good luck in your quest to find your connection and happiness. Thank you for sharing your story.
Just the same as me! After hearing your story and back tracking to my own life I experienced loneliness too. Starting at the age of 10. Just finding people to connect with and being able to hold down friendships and relationships has been hard as well. Would love to find more people who had similar experience like this growing up. It would be cool to foster and build a community. You are a beautiful lady so its hard to believe you don't have much connection with people. If you ever get those feelings of loneliness dont hesitate to contact me.
You're on the right track. Things will get better for you.
Omg that's so sad and beautiful, the universe doesn't know what to do with you, that's really poetic you should write. It's also not true but it sounds amazing.
These videos are great and take a lot of bravery; it reminds me of how therapeutic journaling is. confession or voicing your concerns can help process them better. I have had very fundamental differences in my life, but I have ended up generally in the same place.
The world we live in is hard to adapt to, even for the most extroverted person. I have to remind myself that I'm not the only one that is awkward or shy, that more and more the people I might meet or think about striking up a conversation struggle with some of the same things. Funny enough I actually function better around a stranger that is struggling more than me; I think a lot of times because I can sympathize and I become the person I wish I would encounter.
I hope all is well and life is brighter for everyone struggling. It's crazy to think that my neighbors might have similar challenges and we all just spend our lives alone, but next to eachother.
I seriously thought that beautiful people wouldn't even struggle with loneliness, especially women, since people automatically are drawn to you and want to make connections with you. I kept hearing that when you have confidence, then you make connections naturally. But if someone who's a literal model end up lonely, what hope is there for uglies like us?
Look it just isnt that simple. Social media tends to view the world in a very black and white way. The reality is that there is a good and a bad side to everything.
I would consider myself good looking, I used to be ugly growing up but puberty changed me completely. I decided to work out, eat healthy, learn fashion/makeup wich helped too.
When I was ugly I was invisible and people would pick on me (both men and women). Once I became "attractive" men became much nicer to me. But remember, they arent nice because they actually like me as a person. Its purely based on how I look. WOMEN however became even meaner twoards me. Gossiped behind my back, gave me rude stares and talked to me in a condesending manner. Everyone also assumes that I had it easy and that I am stupid. Once you get past a certain threshold for looks people stop seeing you as a human being and treat you like an object.
So of course being good looking has its benefits but its not a garanteed popularity.
shes talking about genuine connection tho. big difference compared to ppl just being acquaintances to her
@@ausername511 '' Once I became "attractive" men became much nicer to me. But remember, they arent nice because they actually like me as a person.''
That's because men can't detect from a far what kinda person you are. Your looks are the first things that someone can see of you and for men, looks are extremely important since we are visually driven. And... why would you be with someone you wouldn't be into (for both romantic and sexual reasons, as both are important in a relationship)? But if you stick around with them, they get to see more of you and who you are, that's something you can't rush ya know.
And ''being good looking has its benefits but its not a garanteed popularity.''... I think that depends tbh as it opens a lot of doors.
@@m1ndfields33 It opens the wrong doors. Know those houses with doors that lead straight to a fall? Looks don't last - attitude does.
She's teaching us that even the most beautiful woman can experience loneliness. This issue is not something you can always see or predict based upon someone's appearance or your attraction to them. This woman is very attractive, nice, everything 🤗🥰🥰 but she does struggle with self-esteem, anxiety, and socializing from her childhood and at school. I relate a lot when she explains "selective mutism". I've always expected and assumed that other people would reach out, first if they were interested back in highschool. Often they never do, and often if they did, it was from the type of company you did not want in the first place.
Hey Tamara, came across your channel thanks to my algorithm lol...felt that I really connected with your vibe, you are not lonely now 😋...right now I am manifesting a nomad, minimalist lifestyle, it would be so cool at some point to meet up somewhere in this mysterious globe lol. Congrats on your channel :)
well damn i found your first video, subbed, and then sussed this second one
hi fellow aussie
i know how hard it is to speak about stuff like this so im really glad you’ve found the confidence to, you’re doing great and if you want to keep this going you have a great foundation to be on the platform more
since everyone else seems to be telling their stories too fuck it let’s tell mine - not to take away from yours, since obviously this is your video for your target audience, so im just praying this comment gets lost in a minefield and remains in the ground until ages later
so.. yeah i have mates currently, had mates in high school, and got involved with extra curriculars, felt close to people…
felt close.
it’s been about 2 years since ive left high school. im 20 now, and only recently found a group of mates i truly _love_ to be around, but the problem is they’re about an hour or so away from me and we only link up once every 3 months or so. i miss them dearly, all the time, but i just… don’t feel close enough - yes i have my mates ive had since literal kindy but i rarely talk to them so..
every year around christmas (now) i feel THE MOST detached from everyone. on school holidays, on work holidays now, but some people i know are just on holidays away from me, and i rarely just ever talk to my friends so… there’s just inherent isolation there
it’s defeating to exist at times like this because im trapped in a window watching everyone else live their lives while i stay at home
what else? love life? nah ive been rejected by everyone im interested in and had strictly one-sided experiences of love… at all times
what else?
i can’t be myself around family because im not “like normal guys from the area cuzzy” so… fml im only myself around my mates and even then it’s scarce
masking all the time is annoying
kill me
i wrote this after a deeply lonely week so I just needed somewhere to put this because god forbid ill ever tell my mates about this because i don’t want them to worry about me
profile summary (because everyone is doing this too):
20 y.o autistic male
alone craving social interaction with a fear of rejection, abandonment and isolation
relationshipless
wanting to be with someone
currently (somewhat) interested in someone but they’re apart of the friend group so any advancement could cause inherent demotion of fucking everything
the worst part about all of this is there’s times where i realise even my friend groups are one sided sometimes… im always the one that’s reaching out first, especially with the people that i found this year that i truly wanna be around…
In terms of being lonely, believe me I know exactly how you feel. Just remember your family is there for you like your mom, no one could ever replace your mom, you can consider her to be your best friend.
What about dad and your siblings?
I am 24 Male. Living in Oklahoma. Currently moved in with my mother so I have the ability to save money and change my life because my life hasn’t been it. I am trying to change everything. Thank you for being vulnerable and I appreciate it. I would love to be your friend and I genuinely mean friend not being a weirdo. ❤ I think we would be great friends honestly. You have a similar personality to me and I’m also fixing my life. Trying to get into therapy and all of that. ❤ Thank you for making these videos. I also sat in the bathroom alone during school because I was embarrassed to be seen in the lunchroom sitting by myself with no friends. ❤️ I do want to lead a good life and be a good person.
Make sure you disclose your criminal record and that ankle bracelet.
@@kbrewski1 Sounds like a plan
@@kbrewski1most murderers in prison: "I'm a NICE PERSON !!! Just misunderstood ... "
You communicate really well. I think all you need is more practise to feel comfortable around a person or persons. Social confidence is not something you can control. I think I just go with it and dont have expectations about how people will react or talk. When I go into a conversation its better not to over think it. The more you practice the better you get at talking in the moment. Repeating what others say can be a one good trick to give you time to think.
I commented on your first video so I will keep it brief. The key to happiness is to find your self worth in your reflection in the mirror, not your reflection in other peoples eyes. Become your own best friend and you will soon find that you like people but don’t need them to be happy. I had a hard early life and had to run away from home at 14 to survive. I struggled with self esteem issues and loneliness because I thought I was different and didn’t fit in. I began to take long hikes in nature and soon I was focusing on the world, not myself and my heart was healed. I am old now, love life, enjoy other peoples presence but prefer to be alone. I am very happy. That is how I healed myself, maybe it will work for you. We were born into a magic playground of incredible beauty. You will never see it if you remain focused on yourself.
"be yourself so the people looking for you can find you" 💯
You deserve all the happiness in the world and I would truly feel blessed to have you as a friend Tamara.
Thanks for sharing. The “universe” has not abandoned you nor forgotten about you nor does not know what to do with you. The proof that you are still alive and can feel, think, express, hope and strive for a better future means you are in a “universe” that supports you, nurtures you and is watching over you.
In my experience, getting hobbies and going out more can help with finding people to connect with. U can learn something and teach others and then that may lead to friendship. You have to try different groups to see what kinds of people you relate to. I still struggle with loneliness living alone. Also, having a dog helps me get outside multiple times a day and meet people. I would be your friend. I wish you luck :)
Tamara, your sense of optimism and hope is unlike anyone I've ever met/known. Keep the faith and find what activities you like to do. Think of what connections you have with these activities you like to do. Don't shut yourself away from the community or society in general. That would be most unhealthy. Yes, you deserve happiness. Give yourself a chance to be happy. Give your friend from high school a jingle. If you like poetry, you ought to read Emily Dickinson's work. She wrote a lot about loneliness and solitude.
i'm just curious, have you tried zazen meditation? i had similar issues, but...doing zazen for 10 years, the problems still come, but they're like clouds passing by :) hope it helps, peace :)
I’m going through similar things but I think your panicking too much your healthy that’s most important and also your very beautiful!
i thought i was the only one who was out here outright saying im scared of other people thank u for posting this video
I used to feel lonely, but it was due to the fact that I wanted people to validate me, because I didn’t love myself. Once that was pointed out to me, everything got easier. I’m not sure if you’re going through the same thing, but quite often there’s another underlying issue. I’ll suggest that you use this time to figure it out and be ok with being lonely. Otherwise, if you find someone, it would be that you need them around, rather than you genuinely want them around. Best wishes to you and may 2024 be your year to shine. 😊
STOP IT! YOU ARE NOT LONELY! YOU'RE YOUNG BEAUTIFUL SMART AND MALES COME AT YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY! SO STOP THE MADNESS NOW!
Lamo, and do you think that's a cure for loneliness? Loneliness is an internal issue.
When going through your awakening, it will get better, just keep that positive loving feeling in whatever you do, people will feel that radiance and be drawn to you. There’s a reason for all this and your job is to find out how to overcome it, lots of people are really struggling right now, remember you’re not alone in all this…
As someone who has been there, I can recommend getting therapy. I'm not saying it's going to fix everything. But I learned that the feelings of loneliness were the effects of other more deeply rooted causes. Sometimes you need to get help from others, especially people with professional skills at navigating these issues sensitively and without judgement. I love that you're talking it through, and getting your feelings out. That is part of the battle that you're winning, by not suffering in silence. But there is little to lose by talking to a professional. Keep strong.
Being alone is something that is so hard to explain, you make me feel less alone.
You still young my friend Don't feel that way there is good people that want to be your friend ❤❤❤❤
I'm with you, heart to heart, soul to soul. Let's keep moving forward, falling in love with ourselves more, and being compassionate towards ourselves. If nothing else, being compasionate to myself is the only way I can look forward towards tomorrow. Self-love is the only thing I find comfort chasing for the next 5, 10, 20, and 30 years. Everything else feels alien to me. Becoming different feels unnatural to me. But hugging myself feels like something I've done my entire life to keep me from total darkness, and it seems like something I can and is bound to develop better moving forward. I can't expect my loneliness to disappear, but I know that by working on myself, I can find a way to accept and love myself more and focus on that. I loved it when you said in the previous video that you'd like to see the world, Italy, Norway, and other countries. I also look forward to that; I'll work on saving up and finding ways to travel by myself. I'll save up and buy clothes that make me feel comfortable and showcase how I love to look. I'd like to find a way to conquer my limits and do things I wanted to do but felt scared to do by myself. I'd like to be a good friend to myself. When we learn to love ourselves, I'm sure we'll also find others to love. True love. Cause if we can truly feel the love throughout the day for ourselves, alone, after this long, hard, burdensome, cold, intense road, then our love will mean something; it will hold in the more extreme situations, and that type of love others will be able to count on. It'll be a blessing for us and others around us.
I, too, had a spiritual awakening some years ago, which changed my life. It put me in situations that exposed me to others, yet the loneliness is still here. A fantastical type of faith, where you believe over-the-top illusions about reality changing right around the corner, feels to me like I've somewhat fallen under the spell of a fake type of hope, but with it being over, and I understand the power of faith, I feel a faith developing in me that doesn't need the imagination to make it work, but rather, a faith that acts minute by minute, hour by hour, helping me make the next step, and being grateful I was able to do that, because it was hard enough, and yet I was able to do it. I don't know if in a year I'll fall into despair or in a decade I'll be a lost cause, a sad tale, but I feel like tomorrow, I'll do something new and appreciate myself for it.
I wish you luck. I'm subscribed to see your journey, whether you upload once a week, once a year, or an update next decade, and I wish you luck, health, security, love, and a warm heart that doesn't feel like exploding but instead melts within you from the self-love you develop.
How can a girl so beautiful be so lonely?
Because being attractive doesn't shield you from experience pain and human emotions. The most beautiful and impressive woman I've ever known is riddled with insecurities. Learn to view women as human beings and don't put them on a pedestal
simp bot nr.1
@@Vivi_9 Most women also don't view men as human beings and only see them as potential r*pists, Killers, Creeps or as living ATM machines or people to be used. So no thanks mate.
Its bullshit, she's faking it for attention
Because beauty is a curse and biology, majority of males will want one thing and women will be jealous.
We all feel loneliness at one or more points in our lives.
Some of us feel loneliness more often, especially those of us who are more emotionally sensitive and those of us who have been hurt by other people in our lives often or those who are supposed to be close to us.
I always felt lonely because sometimes it feels like I think too much and too deeply and for most interactions I have they seem very shallow and surface level.
Let me just say that it doesn’t cure loneliness completely but having a pet of some sort helps a little bit.
Some of the people suggesting that you find a relationship isn’t the best advice because sometimes the loneliest I’ve ever felt was in a romantic relationship.
I understand where your coming from. I am a very introvert as a man and I didn’t have any GF until i was in my late 20’s. You just gotta break out of your shell and start making friends. Now i had a handful of close friends now that I know i can rely on when the going gets tough. I HOPE my advice help you even a little🙏🏽
When I was a teenager, I was just starting to feel attracted to girls and I was extremely socially awkward and morbidly shy so I couldn’t even talk to them, let alone ask them on a date.
This definitely contributed to my depression and low self-esteem a lot but in a way, I’m kind of glad that I didn’t have any relationships until later in my life. I saw a lot of the kids my age were entering into relationships and not knowing what to do and many of them ended up in disaster.
if your lonely the world must not be right at all
It's interesting that no one has created a cross communication platform like YT yet that allows for two way video or audio communication with each other. There are things like Skype and so on, but no major social media platforms yet that make it easy for two way video comms between people. Someone should do it.
Oh my goodness‼️ You have such a gentle and genuine way of speaking. Your smile is gorgeous. 😊 I loved listening to you talk about your mom. 💜. Yes, you definitely didn't say "inevitable" correctly, and that only made you more adorable - and you know tha!!💡 Now, enough compliments. Here are a few suggestions:
Getting a job may or may not bring you friends or a loving partner, but it'll definitely give you the financial freedom you need to experience new and good things. It'll give you reasons to stay busy with something meaningful. Something to be proud of and maybe eventually share the fruits of your success with your love. ❤️
Like you, I'm a gay woman. I'm feminine and feel attracted only to feminine, gentle, kind women. People assume I'm straight and it has been difficult for me to make any lesbian friends. My friends are all straight and paired. I doubt I'll find my love in this lifetime. But common sense makes it plainly clear that staying within my comfort zone won't catalyze positive change for me.
So, I suggest to you what I also remind myself: try something new. Reach out. If the interest is reciprocated, then take another step towards that person. But if the interest isn't adequately reciprocated, then don't stoop to chasing the other person. Respect yourself. ✅. The right person will not make you chase her or play games with you. She will embrace you for who you are. She will love you. 🎉 😊
From one awkward girl to another, I can understand. I was shunned and bullied in my school years for my dark skin, my weight gain, and my “proper” way of speaking. I was also going through lots of trauma and neglect from fake friends.
Now I grew my hair out, I lost 28 lbs (234 to 211 and still going), I’m eating better, I’m writing and journaling, and I’m just more appreciative of myself.
Though…friends would be nice. A boyfriend would be nice. I’m in no way a 10…but I can give myself a good 4 or 5. Some people think I’m pretty, some people think I’m ugly. It’s all good though. Feels like a balance, balance is key. At the end of the day, I use my loneliness as solitude. I see many relationships around me that are ABSOLUTELY toxic in real life but all happy-go lucky on social media. I’m starting to be more feminine and starting to lean on God’s discernment when viewing things, and I pray God will open many doors for the plan He laid out for you ❤
Dear Tamara, I am so happy for you because although you may not realize it, you have already found the master key to solving all your problems . Well I remember you saying that you started meditating and I really believe that if you keep doing it that you will find the solution to all your problems. i myself have been meditating for a very long time and it has done wonders for me. Through meditating, I have found peace and joy in my life as well as inner guidance. It doesn't happen overnight so you must be very patient, but like I said, if you don't give up, I believe you too shall find peace, joy, and inner guidence. Moreover, another thing you might
want to do is to take advantage of all that time you have by yourself by reading some good inspirational literature. There is one book which I would recommend to you as a start is the Autobiography of a Yogi, which is one of my favorite inspirational books.
Peace and Love,
yishmirai
bro... i hate working :( so many ways things could go wrong, ways i could mess up. wanting to interact with ppl bc im lonely, but then having to deal with ppl and their problems when im really not sure what to do and my manager breathing down my neck. im not built for it either. its terrifying. thank you for saying so. it used to make me feel like such a loser, still does sometimes but it just a stupid thing ppl will shame u for
I hope you find what you are looking for. I too am in your position (no real friends, not a great communicator, etc.), but I don't feel deep depression or deep loneliness. I can't explain.
I am impressed you attained so many subscribers with 2 videos at this time.
loneliness epidemic
which brands did u model for?
It is interesting how services like YT bring people together. Everyone can relate to being lonely at times. I think you will find if you welcome people in it will be easy for you to find friends since you are attractive and seem friendly. The being open to people is the hardest part. I will try very hard not to just give the guy response of trying to fix your problem though. I am sorry to hear you are having these issues. I am not gay, but I have gay friends. It does seem isolating for them. No doubt you will find people on YT that completely relate. I hope you will find happiness, and I am sure if you keep trying you will get there. If I ever ran across you, I would feel luck to make you a friend.
I can totally relate. Great Vids!
I am the same way I’ve been lonely a lot throughout my life I’ve been hurt a lot too don’t have many people to talk to most of the time im lonely at work a lot but I keep pushing through just like you said. Reach out if you want to talk!
Hey, Tamara, if you don't mind me asking, are you seeing a therapist as well as taking meds? I just ask because taking meds is a great first step, but they just help to level the playing field so you can think more clearly. Being able to talk to someone impartial and throw things off of helps me to see things I otherwise wouldn't. I've been dealing with major depression and anxiety for a long time now, and it's definitely made meeting new people much more difficult than it probably needs to be for me. I have a pretty isolating job right now, so I have to make even more of an effort than I used to to meet people. It just makes me feel tired, to be honest, but I know I have to do it because eventually it will lead to a better life for myself. I definitely understand that craving for others' attention/empathy but being scared to do something about it. It's slow going (as you said in your video), but I think people like us can create new connections (and maybe even rekindle some old ones) if we do it step by step. You seem like you have a great spirit so I think if you just keep going things are going to change for you (for the better!). You're awesome, Tamara. Take good care and I look forward to future videos from you. 😁❤
one of the most attractive youtubers i've seen to be honest
what u said at 13:10 abt the universe and all is not true. ur pain points is where ur potential lies, where the problems are for YOU to solve. but the universe would never be that way abt u hun, that's u being incredibly hard on urself. everybody here can see you! not only for how physically beautiful u are but also for how beautiful ur spirit is! thank u for not giving up and for giving people the chance to CONNECT WITH YOU. u absolutely are worthy of having friends and you will find them, and i can tell you, even when u have them, there are plenty of ups and downs 🤣 you have a beautiful soul, don't let your negative thoughts get u down for long
One of my advices is to look at those who have less than you. It just works trust me. You immediately feel another emotion that overcomes the loneliness and that’s GRATITUDE.
To connect with people you treat them as friends already. If you are genuinely speaking with them about what is happening around you, they usually open up. Not everyone will become close, but that is normal. Only need one or two good friends to be satisfied.
We are built to love. It is meant to be given. When we give love, we are meeting out purpose and it makes us happier.
Grace and love be with you.
Loneliness can be a good an bad thing
Indeed - a solitary mind can see the world in interesting ways. It's fun.
You in San Antonio
Two reasons explain the interest people showed in your video. 1. You are a beautiful woman and 2. The topic resonates with most people in our days. A lot of loneliness going around these days... God bless you.
Loneliness on the positive side is just another one liner preparation for the afterlife.
The whole world is a gacha game tutorial and we will be always suffer the pain of grinding for the best that can come in our very short lives.
Wish you the best and Happy Early Merry X-mas again!
I've never seen the world compared to a gacha game but that is true
Prove there is an "afterlife".
What helped me was working in a restaurant. I have a career now but guess what, i still work once a week bartending jus so i can talk to people and get better at socializing. OMG my first year was rough cuz i too was super shy and reserved. I have come a long way and it has totally helped with my fear of talking to people 👌. I think youd do great as a server
My goodness ur beautiful. I mean Like objectively attractive, ur face is so pretty. But I think for many of us it’s hard to believe someone as pretty as you could feel lonely or can’t meet friends/men, etc. But if this is sincere, which it appears to be, I genuinely hope things improve for u. Sounds like they already have made a bit of a turn for the better. Rooting for you Tamara! 🙏🏽😉
Bro she said he's ghey, you got Nour chance
Yeah, I’m not surprised she used to model. She’s honestly mesmerizing lmao.
Bless you ❤
In my experience (27 yrs old), you just have to find people who are planners. I myself don't really plan or text unless its my coworkers and im trying to avoid working, but on a normal day if it were up to me, I actually dont communicate with anyone much. Luckily (through doing improv acting classes and meeting many other people through more classes), I've managed to meet people I would classify as planners. Nice people who enjoy your company and love to bring people together. Whether that be board games, drinks, museums, just sitting in a discord call listening to music with each other with the occasional dumb then funny comment. People who reach out. I also have learned to say yes and go out or do things they ask of me even if I feel lazy or terrible at the time because showing up will more than likely be worth it.
TLDR, find people who are planners! Either extroverts or type A introverts. Learn to be a good listener and validate others and they'll want you around and come to like you. Take an interest in their opinions and hobbies, even if you yourself dont need to talk or reveal much. But first you gotta put yourself out there. Can't meet planners if you don't meet anyone :)
Plus you definitely can take advantage of having pretty privilege 😭
Make sure those people respect ur boundaries tho
you are such a beautifull soul
lol i can relate to what ur going thru. definitely helped me. i think it’s because the yt algorithms recommending it to all us lonely people
That poetry quote at 14:49 sounds like something Harlan Ellison wrote in the '60s: don't go with the crowd, but never hide so far away you can't be found by others like you. Not that I'm recommending anyone read Harlan Ellison.
following what i commented watching your first video, i see we've had a similar story, another thing i can add, something that makes you feel like that, is not only loneliness but is also the lack of meaning and perspective, and pretty much the only solution to fix that is to work on something, study, get a job, play music, draw stuff, write stuff, whatever. On top of that with some chance it can help fix loneliness. You said poetry is a thing that makes you less alone, and it seems you have the chance to avoid working, you can probably start studying right? how about getting into studying letters or litterature (or whatever it is called in english lol)? you'll probably find people similar to you there on top of that
There is a running club near me they come in the pub on wednesdays they are all good friends just through the club maybe try something like that. I go in the pub I dont really have any close friends just associates I see there. They say the chosen ones are seperated from others. Its easy to be on the outside looking in on situations like a group of friends but a lot of time they dont like each other. Ask the universe and god to help and try positive manifestations ❤
What's your MBTI personality type?