why does every video essay start like this.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- deep sigh I guess you all are making me talk about Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. If I must.
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#videoessay
If you’d looked 20% sadder and drank water instead this could’ve also been the start of an apology video.
And no glasses, and no makeup
@@soccerruben1 Ah yes perfect dude, and bloodshot eyes, like the kind you get where you push really hard on your eyes your start to see crazy swirly stuff.
Different music
“Sorry IF I offended you…”
Dont forget the over the top sigh after he sits down 💀
Every cell in my body was screaming that he was going to say “capitalism” and I was fucking right, this is perfect
hell yeah, thank u
@@Horrjblue huh
And if this had been a woman, the first word would've been "patriarchy".
The fact that he kinda looks like Salva from Money Heist, makes the capitalism joke is even better.
@@coslegh58 shit he kinda does
"Capitalism is bad and no other show tackled this topic as effectively as Mr Bean did. But first, a word from our sponsor..."
Amazing comment
…audible
Nord VPN
The irony of that is amazing!
@@fandasvetlo you claim to criticize society, yet you live in one! Checkmate
Oh yes, the classic "opening bottle of alcohol at the start of the video to suggest how exhausting the topic at hand is and how upset the essayist will get over the course of the video" move.
bottle of heynessey
GO AWAY NOW!
Literally the modern equivalent of old video game and movie reviewers: "looks like I'm gonna need more alcohol for this one" *pulls out comic prop giant bottle of vodka*
Only thing it's missing is the deep sigh beforehand. You know it's gonna they're gonna get very upset over the thing if they drink alcohol AND sigh deeply beforehand
@@nousseirbahlous3387 too be fair, the comically giant alcohol bottle was just meant to be a silly joke. It's not trying to be jaded or cynical
but if we didn't awkwardly pause how would you know how jaded, cynical, and insightful we are
Tim! I was just about to link you to this, but I see someone else beat me to it. 😂
@@VoiceofGeekdom these video essay ones are my favourite videos I've seen in a long time
what a witty comment
if lindsey ellis starts a video eating chips or drinking alcohol, you KNOW she's going to be cynical and jaded (because she doesn't give a crap anymore 😎)
Not your video popping up for me to watch right after this one😂😂😂😂😂
it's an ironic visual prop to indicate how essayists know they're about to get pretentious (bringing in a lot of academic books and philosophers), while also conveying a sense of chaotic "homey/of the people" vibe (drinking in apparently mid-day like an alcoholic) that appeals to the TH-cam home video aesthetic.
i feel like youtube essay people must disguise their sincere academic interests with this type of vibe, for sure. I get why, considering youtube is sort of a parasocial relationship dating site.
@@ManCarryingThing I never thought of it like that, but you're totally right. It's weird, but it's just been normalized.
@@ManCarryingThing Damn. It is a parasocial dating site.
Guess I'm still a slut and you're my new boyfriend.
The booze is meant to indicate how fed-up they are with the subject matter of the video, to the point where their entire motivation to live has disappeared and they've developed alcoholism to cope.
Very few of them actually have, but overdramatizing their emotional reaction to it is a key element in radicalizing their audiences.
@@ManCarryingThing Funny because it was originally supposed to be a dating site.
I thought "Man carrying thing" was just a joke related to the video but I just realized that it's indeed your channel name lol
same
@@the__monkey engineer gaming
@@dat_fast_boi fast boi
Purple_Chalk Purple_Chalk
@@neurotic-P hyperjynx
"The problem with Bob the Builder" *png of bob on a blurred grayscale background with VHS filter*
Don't forget the black Bar over his Eyes with some Word written in bold red Text on it
@@BreadBup "BORING" in bold red
@@BreadBup”TOO SEXY FOR A CHILDREN’S SHOW” in bold red
@@BreadBup"HORNY" in bold red.
This absolutely fucking murdered me
DJ Peach Cobbler
Dj peach cobbler
Yooooo you're into booktube too?
Rest in Peace
Shall I call the authorities or the morgue?
In 19 seconds I have not seen someone convey so much with zero filler. It's like a good version of the thing it's parodying.
that makes no sense at all
We’re invited to his falling off the wagon show.
Just say you want likes, The video wasn't even remotely Funny or interesting,it only got views because of the title
Ah yes, words
It's funny to see comments getting ratio'd just existing. Like about 12 people over the nearly 6000 who read this didn't understand it to the point it triggered a reaction.
I was waiting for you to ask into the camera:
“Why does every video essay…, start like This~?”
[VHS click sound effect & cut to black title card]
[Classical Beethoven Piano music plays as b-roll starts]
“Capitalism.” [cut to speaker with widened, knowing eyes]
[Music shifts to something more modern and drastically higher bpm]
“But wait, we’re getting ahead of ourselves…”
I instinctively downvoted because of just how accurately infuriating your comment is
why can i HEAR and VISUALIZE your comment omg
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE-
one word is better than allat
The video title: Why Spongebob Square Pants The Movie is a Disappointment
The video's opening: In his seminal work "Das Capital", Karl Marx wrote…
This isn't the worst part, the worst part is when they try to get inspirational towards the end.
*THIS.*
I don't want to feel motivated after I watch a 1 hour long video essay. I want to know why what you're talking about is either pure gold or literal human shit.
That's necessary for a good mark.
is your pfp from house of five leaves?
@@thursdaytractiontuesdaytit1325 Yes
@@thursdaytractiontuesdaytit1325 i love your username
The little gesture with the glass like you're toasting the audience is what really sells it
Only thing missing is "we need to talk about X"
"Now you might be wondering, what's so wrong about X?"
Hello, NameOfPlatform
THIS OH MY GOD-
Kevin
@Julo Micha But it's actually not that bad.
Don't forget when the video title is a yes/no question & they immediately begin the video with either "yes" or "no" & then pretend to play the credits & then the actual video starts
"Okay, okay, let's start at the beginning"
Ngl, I really like that joke.
This isn’t done to death or anything. It’s relatively common, but it’s a joke that has its charm. Plus, I don’t think you ever see that type of joke in videos like what this guy’s parodying.
i always like that joke, as Schwa! stated it's not overdone and it's pretty clever (imo)
That's not common at all though. I've personally seen it happen only twice, and it's certainly better than having it being answered after like 20 minutes
It's because they're afraid to talk enthusiastically about things that genuinely interest them, lest they be deemed the dreaded Cringe.
probably
Life’s too short to care if you’re cringe. Just do you lmao
cringe culture is dead we're free
@@comicalcosmonaut959 I don't know how to phrase this just rest assured I am not agreeing with showing genuine interest being cringe lol
don't wanna be a dick but i think you oughta find better video essay makers, idk wendigoon, hbomber, Patrica taxxon or the guy who made the beastar furry gay video.
at this point i cant stand video essays that start with old recorder sounds
I personally like the Mandalorian theme.
Sponsored in the intro
What’s an old recorder sound
@bunkey Damn I thought we were talking about medieval instruments
bruh fr
"....And so, as you can see, SpongeBob is to blame for the fall of western civilization and capitalism as we know it."
No no no, SpongeBob represents the Dionysian ideal of spontaneity in contrast to Squidward's systematic Appolonian approach to art. In reality Squidward envies SpongeBob but he was unwilling to admit it and ...
but it's true
@@CorruptedDogg it's a real essay!!! And a pretty good one too. Look up contrapoints, envy.
based spongebob
oh thank god
There’s a TH-camr who does insanely long video essays on the most niche topics and she pours tea from beginning to end and it drives me insane.
Thanks for the recommendation. Be cool if you left her name, ass
give name please
give name please
Sarah Z?
thats sarah z and she uses subject-appropriate beverages, idk why it drives you insane it's just her brand
I clicked on this knowing it was satire, but for a split second i thought the video was gonna continue.
My three hour video on why this two minute scene on episode 3 season 8 of my Little pony is intertwined with the reaganism neoliberal politics and its ramifications affecting interaectional socioeconomic structures
...do u want me to link the essay i wrote in 2017 about how my little pony fim season 8 episode 1-2 "school daze" promotes a neoliberal political ideology
@@harmonicpsyche8313 yes, yes we do
@@harmonicpsyche8313 link it mate
The thing is, you could probably do that analysis, it's not so crazy to analyse everything through capitalism and neoliberalism, the systems we live under influence our culture
@@harmonicpsyche8313 Please do
The lofi hip hop, the sigh, the quick zoom in, the music fading and of course the final word- capitalism - this video is perfect 10/10
Do you know the song name?
i wish someone made a compilation of youtube video essays cutting off after the first word, it's always hilarious
YOU'RE SO FUCKIN RIGHT
I think it comes from the same “place” as mukbang videos. For the creator to eat or drink something can’t be faked so it gives the impression of authenticity.
I never considered the authenticity aspect when wondering why mukbang is popular. Makes sense. That’s interesting
... then a word from our sponsor, Raid Shadow Legends
You broke the code.
Kinda like Viggo broke his toes on that one scene in LOTR.
Or his teeth in that one scene of LOTR
Viggo broke his toes in LOTR? i didn't knew that, Woah! I need a 4 hour video essay on this
@@СнежныйДжони Yes, mostly due to ... capitalism.
he got me FIRED
I have to gag myself whenever I watch LotR with a friend. I don’t wanna be *that* guy, but I also desperately feel the urge to become *that* guy.
"...is good, thanks for watching!"
Man, with only 18 seconds to utilise, I really thought I knew the whole video just from just the metadata.
WASN'T READY
@@orionroberts1253 hahaha
I love your videos and your vibe, don't listen to the haters my g 💕
@@KiraNikk0s Lolol, thank you, but its fine. Never cared about comments like that. It comes with the job.
**_sits at desk_**
**_turns on computer_**
**_prepares to record_**
**_turns on camera_**
**_gets back up_**
**_walks out of frame_**
**_pretends like they just came in and totally weren't sitting in the same spot for the last 2 hours_**
That drink was so strong the camera instantly passed out.
What the hell, I was promised a 4 hour video essay on why Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is great.
Young Stephen King is right:
Capitalism
"I really wanted to enjoy this... but"
*drinks alchohol*
...
"CAPITALISM"
-I have been blown away with this video essay it really captures everything I want in a video essay.
Just amazing
As an avid consumer of video essays, this is hilariously accurate.
My favorite part about this is that the channel’s name is “Man Carrying Thing” and that’s _exactly_ what almost everyone does when entering the frame during a video essay.
I wonder if it would be awkward if they came into frame with nothing in their hands and we would feel like "something's off here but I can't put my finger on it". what would they do with their hands? dangle them at their sides, fold them together? i reckon there's good reason why they do it
@@inafridge8573 That’s a good point; I never thought of that! Not only might it be most fitting, but many other creators do the same-likely due to your reasoning-so merely seeing nothing in-hand for once after watching others carry things in would likely be bizarre. Fascinating.
They all want to seem like ivory tower intellectuals
"Established bad thing is bad, now let me talk about it for 1 hour without proposing any solutions"
Almost always these videos meander without finding a coherent point or thesis despite trying desperately to be in a loose essay format.
“I’m going to talk about fringe Internet politics the whole time. What do they have to do with the topic, you ask? Good question. I’m sure as hell not gonna answer it.”
"I just know this isn't talked about nearly enough"
(millionth video essay about topic perpetually in news headlines)
Basically "Second thought"
Socialism.
Here you go ☝🏽✌🏽
"Well, you people that I will probably never meet are making me talk about this subject. That's why I spent hours, days, or even weeks researching it because I hate it."
You forgot to add the part where the essayist starts out with an event or thing that seems totally unrelated and says, "I swear this is going somewhere."
(I love a good video essay but they really can be formulaic)
sTiCk WiTh mE
The thing is that's 100% how my brain works I'm just like let me connect five disconnected things I swear this makes sense I promise
"Before we begin, let's talk about our sponsor..."
The calm before the storm, to let their audience know they're in for some serious adulting
Me: I wanna watch someone talk about how good Spider-Man is
Video Essayists: Capitalism, Existentialism, nihilism. I'm so jaded and cynical, also Spider-Man is okay.
Also patriarchy, romantizicing and consumerism. But that's maybe the youtubers i follow lol
*shambles to seat, opens a pint of Romulon ale, swigs it like a champeen, stares dead eyed at the camera*
Peter tingle.
"The monopolistic hegemony dominating modern media has usurped the individual's impact on the cultural zeitgeist, culminating in a stagnant, intellectually homogenous wasteland, where the mind and soul are rendered irrelevant. Shrek the Halls hearkens back to the words of German-American philosopher Herbert Marcuse..."
Talking about problematic themes and then throwing in a random Jordan Peterson reference because somehow everyone who enjoys any medium with those themes is probably influenced by JP , and not because they just like to enjoy a fucking movie and unwind without caring about any of that shit the essaying is over-reacting to...
Hey Lindsey Ellis. Good to see you again
Every alpha male podcast:
"Women-"
Every video essay about alpha male podcasts:
"Men-"
@@olivercharles2930the good ol' days of Anita Sarkeesian
Don’t know why but that pour and sip they do with their coffee or water or whatever just makes me violent
My favorite is pretentious movie essayist who basically gaslight their audience “how Christopher Nolan uses color to make you gay”
Not gaslighting
Wait, did that actually happen?
Just wanted to chime in an inform you that's not what gaslighting is. You know what would be though? If I was wrong on this and aware of it, but wanted to make you question yourself and your sanity as a way to minimize opposition. 👍
if the video essay is about something that isn’t true but can be argued, like the premise op offered, then it’d be gaslighting sure.
And then you get to their comments, where everyone thinks the “I’m right because I say so” method is a legit style of debate.
Now I need to know where this essay is going!
the content is the comment section of any video that _speaks_ of capitalism, it’s a weird comedy
“Capitalism is bad, but first, a word from our sponsor.”
You forgot the artsy VHS insert sound and old CRT screen at the beginning
Pretentious people won’t just call it a video essay they have to call it something like ‘electronic medium thesis’ or some crap
I REALLY CANNOT TOLERATE VIDEO ESSAY'S
THE GUYS MAKING THOSE VIDEOS ARE SO PUNCHABLE
"...is the best thing that happened to humanity"
... if you live in a first world country... still can easily end up homeless...
Dude said one word and was still able to spark arguments in the comment section. That's impressive 👏🏾
Same reason why almost every "apology" video starts with the person give a long sigh and look at you with puppy eyes.
Literally though
"Why America Bad p9001"
As a person who watched many essayist like Film Crit Hulk and MrBTongue go unheard until Nerdwriter blew up the genre around late 2016 then to watch the entire space be filled with individuals who value simply having a large word count and a slightly bigger vocabulary but no idea to effectively use either. These videos give a voice to my silent screams.
Video essays have been a disaster for mankind
"I want you to empathize with me as a person, emotionally, so that you are more likely to simply buy my bullshit without thinking beyond your sympathy for me as a person."
i swear mia mulder literally said this line pointe blanc as a joke before talking about her mental health experiences
If he had started talking about football, this would have just been a Brett Kollman video
The more obscure indie game about depression you can somehow connect to capitalism, the more views you'll get.
God, those essays are probably my least favourite (apart from the "you're a _Bad Person_ if you like the things I don't like" ones.) I love me some obscure indie games and depression simulators, but the essays always feel like an extended rant of "see? Video games ARE art, MOM!"
The fact that the swallow was the most audibly clear part of the video infuriated me to no end
Can’t believe Soongebob was a critique on American consumerism, individualism, and a warning for post-modern capitalist society we approach.
there's a massive reddit post i think you may enjoy
It usually starts with "We need to talk about" lol
Video Essay Starter Pack
Why (insert movie) doesn’t work
jaded/cycnical remark
We need to talk about (insert movie)
(Insert company) doesn’t get (insert character)
Insert oxymoronic description of what you don’t like about the movie
Give a 15 minute synopsis of a different movie/part of a movie that you loosely relate to the review
“I didn’t want to make this video”
(Insert big word) disaster
(Fake) Laughing fit in response to something ridiculous that abruptly cuts away
What did I miss?
PRETENTIOUS AF
I just wanted to remind you that we have a MCT discord server where we also like to start the day with "Capitalism"
if by capitalism, you mean the most ideologically pure form of anarchism, so perfect angels start singing, then yes we do
@@ManCarryingThing well it more of a sarcastic "Capitalism" followed by endorsements of the GLORIOUS REVOLUTION!
The video description was the cherry on top to an absolutely perfect 18 seconds.
Top tier, mate.
And it's usually like this :
1. Title of video is "Why (x) is overrated"
2. Starts with some random quote from a philosopher from 200 years ago
Hey you’re finally taking off, good for you!
When I tell you how hard I laughed just now. It’s so, cringe-inducingly, accurate.
The way the bottle cap synced with the song
Where's the rest
I keep replaying it
And that moment when they show how frustrated they are by going quiet for 3 seconds, then getting a bottle of alcohol, putting it up to the mouth and tipping the head back while bobbing the head back and forth to show that "oooh I'm drinking a lot!". Why do they they think this is worthwhile comedy? Then you have all the photography and filming channels that take time out to show us that they know how to make coffee in every video. Also Josh Strife Heyes doing his MMO-videos while holding a coffee mug in his hand through the entire video but never drinking from it. There doesn't even seem to be anything in it. This drink and food crap is my biggest pet peeve on youtube atm.
i think it helps with the pacing of the video when done right
0:07 It’s that close-up on the shit-eating smirk that gets me every time. ∞❤️
It's always "this is the fourth time I'm recording this video😩"
This truly changed my view on wether Handy Manny is a critique of the plight of the working class
*sits down*
*Takes a breath*
*Stares at you for 3 seconds*
"Today we're going to talk about the benefits of incest"
I don't know how you managed to make me laugh so hard with 1 word
Because they know it'll be tiresome when they explain heavy stuff in nearly 30 min or hours more lol
nah
when he said "capitalism"
I felt that
When he said "capitalism" I truly understood what he meant on a spiritual and material level.
I've always found Videos of that type exhausting to watch, like they're filled with unnecessary scenes like this or go on for too long on something
"So is it still ok to listen to R. Kelly?"
This is becoming my favorite channel uncomfortably quickly.
The sigh is essential.
It’s one word but so profound
Part one: the Industrial Revolution
I don't think I've ever actually seen The Critical Drinker drinking on one of his pre-made and edited videos to be honest. It's usually a still where he's clearly well into drinking from that bottle.
But given the topics, he might as well be impaired from drinking.
I love Jacob Geller but this reminded me so much of his style of videos lol
If they dont slowly pour and sip their drink, they arent insightful
When the drinking is critical
Damn, Folding Ideas didn't have to sum up all of his content just like that
Folding Ideas doesn't really tie everything to capitalism, mostly just cinema history. Hbomb on the other hand...
Bu-bu-but the labor party and the upper classes, these characters, they are representatives…
Same with the outros. Gotta have a pregnant pause to leave you in suspense for the final point it took 10 minutes to get to:
"That's why I love..................................
Cheetos."
I love how the the bottle cap sound is perfectly timed with the music.
God, the mood was so well set that I got sad when it ended after I had myself prepared for a 23 minutes long video essay on capitalism
something that rhymes with leg shave magnetism