Your WORST Regrets as D&D Players & GMs
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.พ. 2024
- I asked for your biggest regrets from playing RPGs like Dungeons & Dragons, and you delivered. ▶️ More below! ⏬
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#dnd #dungeonsanddragons #dndtips - เกม
Do you have an RPG regret that didn't come up in this video?
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This the following is all one tangled regret. TOO MUCH exposition, OOG interaction/emails, and too many handouts! Too many requests for backstory info from players that did not care that much, and failing to know the difference (many think it's great) . Misjudging player's tolerances about all of the above, and about how much information they can (or are willing) to digest about a custom setting's background NPC's and lineage options. Misjudging the capacity of my PC's to absorb and remember my self-edited setting information after a day of hard work at their brain-intensive jobs. Early on, giving them large sheets of NPC's. Later on, not giving them sheets listing the NPC's as a result of the former.
Line-by line interactive backstory email interviews with the players that didn't care.
I guess this generally could be dismissed as "failing to find a balance", but that really fails to put a fine enough point on it. Some players like lots of long emails and the world that you personally thrilled yourself carefully designing and modifying every race for.
Check with the players all you want, send all the interactive emails you want, and become more and more of a tedious pain in the ass. My players are very good friends and it took a really long time to winnow out what was going on over the course of 2-3 campaigns because I am also a little dense. ANd I wish I could say more just about the bits relating to using my own setting, which they seem to have loved, but obviously contributed to some of these problems due to my mishandling (don't let that stop you from creating your own setting!).
DON'T BE ME. - (The Original) Dr. Fresh
I regret spending so much time trying to convert one single friend to playing TTRPGs instead of just playing with the many people I know that already play. That player caused so many campaigns to fizzle out because he never actually wanted to play. Just played because I wanted him to.
Aww. I know how that feels, when someone doesn't share the same love for the thing you like. I hope you're still friends in other aspects.
Great point, and they're a great friend for joining that many campaigns even though they weren't really into it!
Trying to get those players to engage is a good thing, but if they don’t want to engage it is just wasted effort. Spend the time on the people who want to engage
Hindsight is 20/20. My wife has been obsessed with DnD in theory since I first played Neverwinter Nights with her back in the early 2000s. But she's so shy, she'd agree to come give it a try at adventure leagues and other local game store pick up groups, and loved... Being there observing. Was always too shy to interact. Finally, I decided to convince our weekly boardgame group to also start a DnD night, id DM, and Heather would be among friends she's not afraid to be her adorably goofy, awkward self around. That did the trick. Our groups weekly highlight nights used to be our geeks who drink night, and our boardgame night. Now, half the time they want to just skip geeks who drink trivia night or boardgame night and continue our campaign more. They're so obsessed with it now it's actually becoming to MUCH DnD for me to keep up with, lol. I'm hoping I can convince my wife's best friend to run a parallel campaign so she can share the "burden" and I can get a chance to play a character, lol. It'd be heaven if my wife Heather would DM. She's the most insanely creative, imaginative, hilarious artistic mind I've ever known. And I'm not just saying that cuz she's my wife... Back when Neverwinter Online had their "quest forge" where players could use the development tools to design, script, and write their own quests that were publicly available for all to play, she had 3 of the most popularly played quests in the pool of player Crafted adventures. I wish I had gotten footage of her quests before the quest forge was taken down. They deserved to be saved for memories, lol. But that's why I just know she'd be a prodigy DM! I think she'll get there eventually
@@chipsalom you should introduce her to Pathfinder
I learned the "don't hold back good ideas" one recently. Really improved my games when I just started using the cool ideas I had rather than waiting for a perfect moment that never came.
I have a totally different experience with that. I had many ideas for ages before I used them in the game and it was always great to see the players react to them.
Examples from my Star Wars campaign: I decided during the first session that the astromech droid that the players got for free would have a malfunction and really suck at astrogation checks, so much so that it might put the group in real danger if it made the check. So I would always ask the players who should make the astrogation check and if the droid did it, I would roll the check with a red dice (like disadvantage, but worse in the FFG Star Wars game). It took my players about 2 years to find out that said droid was the source of their misfortune when it came to navigating the galaxy.
One session later the characters found a big cruiser that they could recover from the planet it had crashlanded on. I decided that in the cruiser there would be a big pool that leaked water for quite some time so that some of the hallways would be flushed with water. It took my players more than two years to get to the position of beneath the pool and then I could finally get one of them almost die by drowning as one hallway door closed behind him and the other opened in front of him letting all the water pour into that hallway segment he was in. I took that idea from a bottle episode from Stargate Atlantis and had that scene in mind as I was creating the idea of a pool being a part of the cruiser. The player loved that scene saying "Wow, the ship DOES want to kill us!"
Then one of my players wanted to play a Jedi and personally I hate having Jedi during the time period of Star Wars episodes IV to VI, at least without an explanation WHY they are alive. In addition I wanted to give the players some backstory about the cruiser they found. So I had a one shot with that player playing a Jedi and two additional players. The Jedi was frozen in a prison chamber on that cruiser and that is when the one shot ended. About a year later the other players found that prison, unfroze the person within and I said: "Okay, you open the chamber and you see..." and the other player responded: "... a hooded man with a brown tunic, and as he stumbles out of the chamber you here the hissing of a blue light saber." -Epic, and so satisfying, BECAUSE it was not rushed and just the perfect moment.
I regret not getting my shit together fast enough to start a campaign my friend requested before he died. To be clear, I didn't know he was in that much trouble, and I don't think he did either. But it I'm learning the best time is always NOW, because tomorrow might not happen.
I almost made a similar mistake. My daughter wanted to play a cleric that was blind. I told her she could but it would heavily impact things. Almost talked her out of it. I eventually thought of a rule of cool way around some of the rules while letting her live her RP
She’s a twilight cleric. Her god sehanine granted her a sort of “daredevil” vision. This also gave her the backstory of why she became a cleric. I reflavored the twilight cleric features. She has good perception and has vision of sorts out to the twilight cleric darkvision range, but still can’t read things in 2d like texts in a tomb etc. but can perceive shapes of creatures and objects around her.
Check out the book Fate Accessibility Toolkit. It explains how to play disabled characters in a fun and healthy way. While it's written for the Fate RPG, the general advice should be useful for any system.
Thats really badass, i love it
I'm working on making a blind ranger swarmkeeper that has blindsight and relies on his swarm to help direct him
Looking forward to Bob's second channel "Bob Skate Boarder"
This man loves shateboarding wizards so hard, that he is actually becoming one :D
@@Venomm321 Skate wizards is a big part of why I want to give it a shot xD
Bobworldskater
I had a regular DnD group that did the Dragon of Icespire Peak together for a whole year. People were pretty good about showing up, but one time 2 out of 4 players canceled last minute. The 2 players who did show up spent the entire session boobytrapping the farmhouse the party was in for when the 2 no-shows would come back the next week. When they came back, a ton of Jackass-style shenanigans ensued and it was one of my favorite sessions of the campaign.
Haha that sounds like a fun group!
I love it! I'm a first-time GM and also happen to run that module currently.
They just had 2 PCs die on the Butterskull Ranch sadly, but they went into a group of 6 orcs (they snuck up on the orcs so it was not forced from my side) not having healed up from their dragon encounter, kinda silly.
What farm where they on that they boobytrapped? Sounded like a blast.
Ok this is perfect
The ' Scripted TPK ' - I remember reading in an old GURPS Sourcebook of an idea where you had players create characters before the first session... then when they would sit down to play... hand out pre-gens... which would involve themselves in some sort of situation... where they would be subjected to a lightly scripted TPK, perhaps as an intro to more of a horror style of a game. Then the actual characters people would make would be brought in to find out what happened, to investigate the incident. Could be very detective noir in any sort of setting (fantasy, modern, historical) but would present an interesting opportunity to do a TPK and actually get a good start to an interesting campaign.
Cool! Yeah with the right setting (and with the pregens so the players aren't very attached) I think that would be a fun surprise
@@BobWorldBuilder I've done this before with a Shadowrun campaign. Had the players go into a scenario featuring a major antagonist and die. Did not use pre-gens though. I had them use their character sheets, gave them enough points to build moderately improved versions of their characters, and told them these sheets represented different characters with similar abilities to their own.
That way, they were able to test run their characters in a safe environment while also seeing first hand that they were far from equipped to deal with the villain right off the bat. So when they met him early on (while he was still in the "i'm hiring you to do a thing for me") they treated him with a lot more respect than they otherwise might have.
Worked out nicely.
I think I read the same thing because that is exactly what I thought. A one shot where everyone dies at the hands of the BBEG can be an awesome prologue to a campaign.
My friend GMed a Savage Worlds game where we played conquistadors investigating a temple. When we all got killed we discovered that it was a prologue to a modern game with our adventurers coming across the same temple. I thought it was a really cool idea.
That's actually a pretty interesting idea and I think that could have worked really well in the campaign I'm currently part of - I currently hate playing my character because she's in no way a good fit for what my dm is running...the atmosphere changed entirely after the 6th session. 😒
The key thing to remember is that when we think of Critical Role, we're remembering episodes where they have been playing their characters for a year. We don't remember episodes one through ten.
Their careers are focused on bringing characters to life as voice actors, so naturally they can role play more easily than "normal" players.
Honestly the first episodes of campaign 2 of critical role with the circus and de mines full of knolls are still some of my favourites. But that might be because of nostalgia as thats where i started with cr...
... And as actors they will have a common understanding of how plots, pacing and performances work, and be good at "yes and" from improv.
@@stevecarter8810 As a teen I was part of youth theater and did some impro classes in school. The most important thing I learned was to make a fool out of myself without a care. If you have a werewolf, do the howl :D
@@Taffoman I'll arooo! to that
Biggest regret (found recently) was turning away players that wanted to play, just because we could not reach an arbitrary player count. I thought you had to have at least 4 players to player D&D or any game, so when only 2 people confirmed, we decided to “reschedule” (cancel).
Picked up Vaesen and learnt that you dont NEED 4 or even 3 player sto play a TTRPG, theres games out there that are best at tiny player counts. In fact Vaesen ran alot more smoothly with 2 players than the 3 player version. And I was able to run 1 on 1 DND games as sort of “prologues” to my main campaign for each character
I missed out on alot of opportunities to play RPGs because not everyone’s schedules lined up 100%.
I think a lot of people experience that. It's tough bc you don't want people to miss out, but the more sessions you postpone so everyone can make it, the more people will skip sessions bc they know they aren't going to miss it.
Going upward: I don't DM for groups over 5 plsyers large because I know what my limits are. But I might go over that limiz if the group dynamic is just so great and everything flows well
People canceling:
In my games, we have a rule that we play as long as not more than two players are missing. That works fine unless we have certain story beats that are tailored to certain character, like visiting their home town or stuff.
But yeah, starting out as a small group can be just as fun as "typical" party sizes.
I sort of solved that one with my group. I have 2 people that almost always make it, one that appears when she wants and one that is always working and appears once every month. So I made 3 different campaigns, one D&D for 3 people, one MASKS for 2 people and one Dungeon World for 3 or 4 people. So we are always covered. And I'm not even the only GM in the group, so I'm not GMing all the time.
@@gedece i think i’m going to go this direction, main D&D campaign, and if theres 3 or less (party of 5) or a critical session cancel, we will do an episodic system (like Vaesen) so any combination can work
That's why it's good to have a stack of quick one shot adventures designed for 2-3 characters. As long as the last session ended in some sort of safe haven (town, outpost, etc...), it's easy to justify why some people were busy, and couldn't help with whatever came up.
The secret of a regular game time is to never cancel and never compromise. Even if it means creating a B game to play instead of your usual A game. If you are always there, others will make it too. You will still have lonely sessions, but they will be less.
Agreed!
we do this with our current group. If there are only a few people, but not enough for the current campaign we're playing and they still want to play something we will have either a random one shot or a board game night. Works well actually.
If we don’t have the game, the ones that are there , online, shoot the breeze, talk, socialize. We’re all there, we should do something and you keep your friendship up.
Not a regret, just a shout out to my DM and fellow players. We all played in a campaign that ran for 6 years!!! Level 3-20! Thank you Jinker!!!🎉🎉
I regret not talking much when given the opportunity.
Granted, one other player in the group basically always took the initiative to speak up, but I still had some moments to interact a bit with the world and didn't really take full advantage out of them because I kept overthinking it
As a serial over-thinker myself, I feel this one. The more comfortable you are with the group, the game system, and the character you're playing, the easier it gets to just say what comes to mind. It takes practice.
12:50 this is why I powerlevel my characters, typically a level up every session or two. I've never had enough of a consistent group to play a years long level 20 campaign.
Newish DM here, introduced a DM PC in round of a lvl 1 fight because the first PC was brought to 1 hp in one round. Said DM Pc ended up missing all his rolls and not being super useful in the situation. Talked about it to my players afterwards who said they did not really like that and I did not bring the character back for the next session
You did great! You tried an idea, it sadly didn't work out, you talked with your players and learned how to move forward. That's exactly what a DM should do!
That could be hilarious though. A savior npc being actually totally useless.
I envy you… whenever I introduce NPCs, I struggle to get the players NOT to drag them into every combat
I have written entire campaign story arcs that intended to run characters all the way from level 1-20. Since the PHB had rules to get you to 20, that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. I have entire stories themed around the PCs being pirates, one about them all being members of a demon-slaying religious order, one themed around everyone being a dwarf, the list goes on…
Most of these lasted a dozen sessions tops. It was a hard lesson to learn that hours and hours of my creative work, long villain monologues, custom magic items, puzzles, maps and NPCs are just sitting on my shelf collecting dust.
It was fun to do that work, but knowing we’ll never actually get to those higher level set pieces I planned out is very discouraging. If there is anything I can say to future DMs out there. Plan for the next 2-3 sessions. That epic NPC betrayal you’re planning will likely never come to fruition, or have the dramatic impact you think it will. Roll with what the players are doing and driving towards, practice your improv; and just give them the deck of many things in the first session.
I suggest you plan a one shot or mini campaign that starts at a higher level say 12 or 15, then incorporate all that work. I often schedule high level one shots and they are a blast for everyone as players go op and I can play with the best monsters 😂
I do a whole lot more of those now than I used to@@DroTalks
My first time DMing, I took XP away from a character who "did something outside of their alignment". Ew...
Ahh yeah, there's a type of campaign where that sort of thing fits, but I don't think most people these days want to take alignment that seriously
TBF, it was actually recommended practcie in older editions of D&D at least. Definitely one to leave in the past, though.
I have had the same group, minus 1 player for over 5 years now. It's so amazing having a core group that makes it work every 3-4 weeks for us to meet. The key is to be flexible on scheduling and find people that LOVE dnd or (in some cases) love to hang out and dnd is a bonus.. Another great video as always! TY
one of my biggest regrets as a DM. I was running a modern d20 shadowhunter game. the penultimate battle one of the player characters got injured and more or less forced him out of the final battle.
This kind of situation is tough bc in an important battle, that's a risk the PCs are taking, but ideally there should be some way (even if it's unlikely to succeed) for them to stay active as a player.
Took me a long time to learn - but main regret was not slowing down and describing the scene and setting the atmosphere. As GMs, we have a clear internally visualised scene at key adventure points - and forget to add the nuances and depth when describing (because it's already in our heads). Now I take things slow, and describe everything (even the obvious) so the players have a clear image of where their PCs are and the options available to them.
I have a saying as someone who has been at the other end of this and found it a struggle to feel immersed: "I can't read your headcanon." It's a phrase we've used in my group a few times to explain that we're not getting to see the picture, even though they think they're giving it to us.
Yes, and my approach now is to take time to describe scenes - situations as if I'm setting it out for myself for the first time. Since this approach, I have found the players engaging with the campaign whereas before they'd lose interest @@BlueTressym
@@dylanhyatt5705 awesome!
Yes! I've always felt a bit self conscious about how much of how little I describe, worrying that I'll bore my players if I talk too much, but also wanting them to know what exactly their surroundings actually are.
In the end what helped me was feedback by my players, who said they loved the way I described the scenes and atmosphere for them.
My biggest regret is not trying (playing, GMing, or at least reading) more games earlier. There's so much great stuff out there that _might_ have been better games for some of the old (and consistent) groups I had in the past. And there are so many interesting ideas out there to borrow into house rules for whatever game we're playing. Nowadays, when I go to a con, my main priority is to play a ttrpg I've never played (or even heard of) before, and it's been fantastic!
That's awesome!
My regret is that as a teenager in the 90s, I got into magic the gathering before getting into second edition AD&D. My very limited disposable income was wasted on booster packs and starter decks when I could’ve invested in the core rulebooks and boxed sets of my favorite edition of the game.
Great video, Bob! So true that we all have regrets to learn from. I think the hardest lessons I've learned (many of which were mentioned in your video) relate to over-prep and scheduling. I remember one time spending MONTHS build out a Mythic Earth campaign. I mapped all of Europe and parts of Africa/Middle-East, wrote up descriptions of the kingdoms and peoples (and how they differed from reality in a world where magic exists) and populated at least some story ideas all over. Then we proceeded to play one campaign in that world, that covered parts of northern Italy and that was it. We never went back, but I probably still have the notes around here somewhere.
As for scheduling a game so people show up regularly, I've definitely learned the hard way that the faster way to kill a campaign is to not play (because one or two people can't come.) Even playing board games with those who do show up isn't always effective (it CAN be, but I've seen it fail, too), because people get out of the habit of setting this time aside for D&D. The ones who did show up and played board games figure they don't NEED to show up next week if it's "just more board games." Unless the MAJORITY of the players can't come on a given week, you should press on with the game. (Unless, of course, people are getting burnt out and kind of want it to end anyway. Sometimes you just need to accept the inevitable.)
Talk about how to handle absentee players' characters during Session Zero so everyone knows how it will work. Maybe they vanish into a bubble where nothing can hurt them (in which case, do they still get XP?) Maybe they get controlled by everybody who IS there communally (and therefore should still get XP/treasure since the character was at risk and spending resources.) But keep playing as much as you can so that the people who agreed to join keep thinking of this as time set aside for the game.
Thanks! And great suggestions. I agree that meeting with whoever can make it is important, only not playing the campaign if most of the group can't attend, but still playing something or hanging out.
Great video. Gaming since the early 80s, I've accumulated a number of regrets. My biggest was rebelling against how a scene was unfolding in a Star Wars rpg and getting into a big row with the GM. He was probably the best GM I ever played with, but did sometimes throw little fits of his own when a character did something different than what he thought they should do. This time it was me throwing a fit...not even about my own character. It ruined the session...torpedoed the "final battle" of the current adventure...and...ended our gaming relationship. I never played with that group again. Looking back, some of my gripes were legit (too much to unpack here--but essentially I felt railroaded), but I failed to recognize the significance of the moment or even how much work he had put into getting ready for this session: he'd crafted this elaborate scene for the final battle. Years later, I did get to see him and apologize. From that I learned to go with the flow with other people...let them be who they are.
Amazing that you apologized for something from years back. Most people wouldn't even bother.
On scripted character death, I actually have had this *sort of* happen to my characters in CoS twice, but it's always involved lots of open back and forth with the DM about what I want that to look like, and kind of I get to describe what's occuring. And to be clear these were as consequences of decisions my characters had taken. I think "cutscene death" can be done well and cool, but it need a lot of communication and to involve the player.
Yep communication is key
My wife just jumped right into the deep end of DMing. No "Nice simple module" to get her feet wet. She's running us through Curse of Strahd! She had never DMd before, but I wanted to take a break, and she had been talking about DMing for a while, so she said she would DM so I could take a breather. And she chose COS! It's been about 6 or 7 sessions now, and she is doing really good!! She asks me for feedback after sessions now and then but I usually don't have much to add to what she has already done.
Your wife is a badass!
@BlueTressym I certainly think so! I'll have to let her see this, I think it'll help her "DM confidence".
@@ericsmith1508 Please do! Massive kudos to her for diving right in there. Also, if she does want assistance at any point with the module content, there are a ton of useful resources and helpful people over on r/CurseofStrahd.
Strahd was the first campaign I ever dm'd, still one of my favorites
I run a group every Monday Evening that can be anywhere between 6 and 9 people (with occasional people playing for just the night)... it can be very interesting
That's a good way to keep the campaign going though! Our normal group is 6 people (with the GM) and we've been thinking about inviting a couple more as rotating players
@@BobWorldBuilder The biggest issue I've had with the guests is getting them into the story, especially since we are running the 5e port of Temple of Elemental Evil... not much opportunity (other than as saved prisoners) to get people into it and that is only if the night starts with a place that can happen... So, that can be a challenge in a large dungeon crawl
I’ve got six in my current group. We’ve been meeting pretty regularly online for , gosh, twenty years? Saturday. Somewhere around 4:30. First campaign, the jokey castle grey hawk. All the way through. Geographically we cross the continent and two in the UK.
Very true, the comment about not waiting. I'm running a campaign that I said would be 60 sessions, max; when I polled my table after session 10 I asked how many sessions more each person thought they'd like to play, a few said they'd play as long as i run, but the person around whose character i based the first big bad of the story said they wanted to play about 15 more sessions. Suddenly, I know a slow burn isn't going to work, I'm moving a dragon attack up, and I'm laying the groundwork for the next chapter, which will work whether that player continues playing or not. Better to move on the exciting stuff than put it off and find out you don't get to use it
One of my players was having some aggressive burn out. After a dialogue we learned that it was just that all we did was play dnd. So we lessened the amount and started playing other things and hanging out outside of sessions and that really made everything a lot better.
My friend started DMing with several stellar sessions before they asked on the side if a dream TPK would be OK. I said “sure, I think our group could handle it” thinking it would be quick event…
It was hours of deaths and no player agency. I kept side messaging “Just end it!” The player frustration traumatized the DM from trying again.
The sessions before were some of my favorite ever as player too. Oh, how I wish I would have given better advice.
I needed to hear that one about holding back ideas. I'm always worried about lore dumping and not using cool ideas in ways that make the most sense and because of that there's a lot of stuff in games my players still don't know or never realized even years later. I'm not gonna start lore dumping all the time now, but I'll start reminding myself to include the cool things I've been waiting for the "right moment" to show off. These are things that could seed an entire adventure or an entire campaign and I know I'll be thankful I introduced that stuff when my players inevitably hit another moment of "What do we do now?"
I regret pushing forward on a campaign that I had burnt out. The stakes were high cause the amount of prep I'd put it was immense and I fell into this mode where admitting there was an issue was a big nono.
And you could see how it impacted the table too.
I have at least 20 ttrpg books and I make mad terrain that is model train worthy. And I have no one to play with
i relate, though, i'm just getting into the scene and reading my first rulebooks and such. Tunnel Goons, Cairn, nsr etc. 1-page and modular RPGs looks like a great fit for intro.
i'm thinking a hosting tiny local fest for the beginners such as myself, maybe even home fest if i won't build up enough confidence to negotiate with local game clubs.
did you consider looking into and trying different ways social, friend and game groups happen to gather?
@@dadapotok im right there with you. Only got into ttrpg and making stuff a year and a half ago. Im an enthusiast plus i only see prices going up so I splurged a few times. There is a Gaming store only 4 miles from me but usually there is a conflict of when the gaming happens at the store and my free time. Usually everything is to far away or too late. I need to start doing a solo run with The One Ring 2e Strider mode that i have. I thought of entertaining but i dont like the idea of a group of strangers in my house (even though at some point theyll become friends....i think).
My one actual regret, apart from not playing enough over the years (but hey life sometimes needs to be lived in different ways), but I fudged a player death situation, saving them from certain death which totally felt bad to me after the event and I suspect to my players as well. So bad did I feel that I took 10 minutes at the start of the next session to talk to my group about what I did and apologise to them, on the up side my players both know that they can die in my games now, and that I am not deliberately seeking to kill them off.
I regret being a DM vs Players DM for years, although my players said they had fun back then too
That can be fun, but it need consent-and frankly makes it hard to run ongoing
Yeah, nothing wrong with this if the table is also playing this game.
Hiya Bob. I just wanted to say that you are one of my favourite voices in this online space. Thank you for existing.
I don't have any ttrpg regrets, everything I've done is how I got to where I am, and I'm happy here.
Something that I regret was having an idea for a campaign and taking forever to start running it because I thought it wasn’t detailed enough. I got stuck in designer’s purgatory on that one for a bit…
Fantastic stuff Bob. Thanks for doing this. It's interesting to see how much we all share in our successes, and failures. Happily, I think by acknowledging each, we can only grow. Cheers.
Bob just wanted to say I love the “ North Watch “ behind you on the wall. Parkinson is a favorite of mine . His work is immaculate. Finely detailed and beautifully executed.
I feel the first character sheet one. I lost my first set of dice somewhere in a college move, 20ish years ago, and still regret it. On the other side, I got into D&D in high school. I have 3 cousins, who are basically my brothers. The youngest (9 years younger than me) got into D&D in college and quickly took up GMing. It took a while, but he convinced his brothers to get into it by running a one-shot (that became a campaign) with them and some friends during a beach weekend. I was stoked that they finally got into it (because I knew it was right up their street, they just hadn't been exposed to it yet) so I got the DM to send me copies of the other two's character sheets and had mugs made for them that Christmas, so they could always have those character sheets around.
I also feel like it's important to manage expectations, obviously as a DM, but also as a player. I'm disabled and during campaigns of any game I will often find that I have to back out last minute because I just don't have the energy/ability to play by the time the evening rolls around. I play online with friends, which helps, but also I'm really clear upfront that that's something that's just going to happen and it's not that I'm flakey or uninterested, it's just my body being a jerk. So my GMs know what's up and are prepared to also roll with it (I'm usually pretty ok with them playing my character if needed, or just wandering along a la Mark in the first The Gamers film).
The GM burnout is real, especially with schedule conflicts. If players keep missing sessions or constantly having to reschedule that can take the wind out of your sails. I'd say my biggest regret is trying to stream and GM my games. Streaming added this whole layer of complexity outside of just GMing. Having to troubleshoot tech issues, thinking that myself and the group needed to be performers as we had an audience, social media, and so on vs. just enjoying the game with my friends. It burned me out trying to keep up and be a 1 man producer and GM. I'm happier just focusing on running and playing with friends privately.
This might go over most people's heads (and it's not actually d&d, just d&d adjacent) but, letting our parents know we are playing vampire the masquerade, when we live in brazil, in the early 2000s... Especially after the "caso de ouro preto" incident.
I have a few regret. But only one WORST regret.
Not doing any kind of pre-game vetting, placing any restrictions or requirements for people to join your group. Or creating a group of completely random pickups and expecting a solid, stable and fun group to form from it.
There are other regrets that happen more consistently, more often or more predictably. But this one (at least in my experience) dissolves groups more reliably than any other method.
But I do agree with the Most Popular regret. I had an aversion to one-shots, coming from a background of long campaigns with detailed stories and (sometimes) generations of characters in the same universe. But recently I was down for a visit on vacation with a friend who convinced me to make a guest appearance in his local group who was working their way through a kick-started box of one-shots and I just kinda leaned into it since I would probably never play that character again.
Turns out even if you don't like one-shots for continuity reasons, character attachments, wtv...One-shots might still be a great, risk-free trial of playing other character classes and levels, trying out crazy build ideas you'd never though would work in a long-term campaign, or coming up with some hooks or ideas for other, longer-term campaigns or characters.
My biggest regret as a young DM was trying to force my campaigns to have epic and complex plots right out the gate and be just like Critical Role when that's really not what I and especially not what my players wanted. I was so preoccupied with making a story that I forgot I was playing a game to have fun with friends and family. This mindset caused a lot of my earliest campaigns to fizzle out before they reached those high levels and epic encounters, and was the catalyst for a big fight with my family for no reason. I've now learned that I really hate running big overarching plots and would rather focus on the small stories between players, letting them drive the story forward and not having to stress out about it.
I've been a player for a long time and recently started gm'ing, and knowing your group is probably the single best way to avoid having regrets. Also instead of treating the story you have (be it a module, or something you've written yourself) as just a predetermined thing, I treat it as collaborative story telling, you the dm are the narrator, but the players have just as much of an impact on the world lore. Great example, we are early in a campaign that I've partially written, partially cookie cuttered out, and I pointed out a post office in the town the party entered. A player asked how the mail works in this world, I had a boring "horse and rider/carriage " kinda answer, when another player piped up as a joke "clowns, the mail is gathered, and delivered by clowns at night ". My response, was "yes, it's clowns, it's now cannon, and I can't wait to see how this comes into play later.
That's hilarious and I love it.
As a DM I've only done one TPK but I did it for a reason. We were playing water deep dragon heist and they attacked the mindflayer on sight. That said I didn't force them to reroll I just told them they were knocked out and that the mindflayer affected the people who wanted the psionic subclasses. It was all new characters and one even asked why there was something they couldn't beat. They now know sometimes it's best to keep take a look at what they are facing before facing it. The psionic characters also loved the little touches added by the reason they gained power
I'd say being annoyed when people cancel or no show because I could always do something else buuuuut. Nah lol
So not taking risks on one shots. Being afraid. If you character dies its just a one shot and if you dont regularly play the class you can learn something new.
I used to make a habit of killing a new play's character right around 3rd level to get an early indicator of how they will respond to the death of a character that they've really put a lot into. This comes from playing AD&D in my teens when player's would sometimes have complete mental breakdowns when their only and much invested in characters died. I don't do that anymore. I just live in fear.
Well they may react differently than they say... but it could be better to just ask how they feel about character death instead of pushing them through it, or living in fear of the moment!
@@BobWorldBuilderI try to communicate key points of my style before they even get to session zero. I think that's important if something about your game is non standard. Don't waste their time by waiting until session zero to tell them. The conversation so go: "I'm running a Fantasy GURPS game with no magic or elves where the characters are motivated by gold and glory and sometimes struggle just to stay fed and alive, is that something you would enjoy? Great, let' schedule session zero".
The comment 'bout DM bailing twice is very common. My friend ran a very fun campaign but very much bulldozed us to the ending due to communicated burnout. Then, 2 years later, he started an Eberron campaign, and quit 4 sessions in, saying he didnt have it in him to be a DM at all.
This has made me the forever DM for 7 years.
I had asked my family to play with me, they had no experience and I was very excited and enthusiastic but during the game there was a lot of confusion and phone grabing and I had said " the games getting boring because no one is trying" we wrapped up the game very well and the adventure is still refranced to this day but I felt disappointed in myself and I feel like a shamed my players as well.
I had this big homebrew campaign that i had been working on for a while. It featured my take on Vecna, an evil elf king and a giant dragon queen, the whole mystery of the world being that her body was surrounding the planet, the mountains were her scales and the earthquakes her snores. So in session 1, I had the party meet this mysterious dragonborn with no name. He was a guide at first, but useless in combat, always hiding away so that the party can deal with the threat. He eventually left the party to go to a wise undead monk on the other side of the world in order to train to be useful to the party, now that his guiding wasn’t needed anymore. I kept on having him send these letters to the players, teasing his comeback, when in reality i had no clue how to fit him in as the campaign shifted focus away from the dragon plotline and toward Vecna and the King. Fast forward to the end of the campaign, Vecna, the final boss was killed and the dragonborn still hadn’t returned. Not because of story reasons, i simply had no idea what to do with this boring as all hell character
I tried my best to play Pathfinder 1e using prepared notes, and rarely let myself improvise. For instance, I couldnt improvise an npc character to fight the party, if I didnt have prepared notes that would back it up. I have since realized that I know the system well enough that I can make all that up on the fly, the numbers, equipment, and everything else, without needing to always refer to notes or to the rulebooks. Giving myself permission to improvise has solved a lot of my issues with GMing.
Big parties were also my undoing.
In this case, I think it's usually the combo of big party + scheduling. Even with smaller groups, the game must go on when some players can't make it, or people will grow to not prioritize the game.
As a DM, I regret pulling punches on a lot of fights where it looked like a character might die. When my brother's character was on the verge of death and I started looking for ways around it, he told me not to hold back. His character's death led to some great roleplay moments and motivation for the party, and he had a lot of fun with his new character.
I just watched like three or four of your videos in a row, and I was struck by the need to just say how much I enjoy them. You have a great positive and soothing vibe and in my opinion it's very unique among the tabletop content creator community.
3:53 this actually gives me a cool idea. what if the characters were somehow transported into a parallel universe, its mostly the same but things work differently
In regards to doing a TPK to motivate ire against an enemy, I feel like that could work if you have your players basically play some NPCs to provide backstory to some big event.
Like I had a DM once had us all play a group of city guards that were there the night the army of the BBEG showed up and devastated the capital. In-game, our PCs knew that the city had been under siege for weeks by the time we rolled up to help, The session before we infiltrated the city, he had us play out the first night of attacks. The intent was that we would TPK when the tower we were stationed at fell but most of us ended up surviving because one player sacrificed themselves to save everyone else. The rest of the party escaped to help aid citizens flee to the inner city.
It was rad and had the "i don't care if this PC dies because it's a one shot" vibes so everyone wasn't afraid to do some outlandish stuff to save people.
I agree with the guy who regretted not introducing cool concepts and saving them for later. I ran basically my first one shot this week and while reading the module for the first time there was one scene that was actually poorly thought of and kind of stupid, so I replaced it with an encounter with npc that I came up with and wrote a small scene for. The players really enjoyed it and thought it was really cool scene. Initially I felt like "Oh man if I use this character in this scene I can't use her in any up coming games" but the feedback I got from the players made it feel like it was totally worth it!
Regarding a scripted TPK, you can do it with alt PCs handed out in the session. I think they played with the temp PCs for 2-3 sessions. Worked rather well, and they absolutely loved the moment they realized it would end as a TPK. Though I can't really claim credit for it; it was part of the module.
5:45 That reminds me of a moment that happened in a game that I was playing in. One of the other players wanted to kill off their character, so the DM worked with them to manufacture a situation where the player could sacrifice themselves. The party ended up in a cavern filled with explosive with a horde of enemies on their tail and the player stayed behind to detonate the explosives and collapse the cavern. (And they had to make sure that the exit tunnel was angled in such a way so that my Sorcerer couldn't use Distant Spell Fireball to remotely detonate it.)
For context for mine, I was in a group in which we were doing a second campaign, and I think it was a mix of my character, and the fact my adhd was just not being kept under control, but they just started hating on me
Laughing at me for dumb things, making me a scapegoat for bad things as a "joke", etc.
Though, it's not to say I'm not at fault either. I didn't have good table manners (interrupted a LOT), took too long in turns, and my character was a teeny bit stubborn
It should be noted that this was an online group
I play mostly in person. My friend has told me a lot about his online group sessions, seems like a certain percent of players in them who are quick to jump into new groups are the kind that have been rejected from groups online and in real life. Keep up the faith Elias. Hopefully your Passive Perception will let you hear about a group to get into soon.
@@RogaineForEwokswell, luckily I'm in a campaign with some online friends I've known for like 6-7 years, so I'm good haha. But thank you
My very first session as a GM, the rogue went on a tangent that wasn't in the module. I learned very very quickly how to improvise, and that tangent has become a defining plot point for the ongoing campaign that has morphed inti homebrew.
6:52 one thing I found that works if you’re part of a Uni RPG soceity or otherwise running for a small section of a larger meetup group- post when YOU can run, so you’ll have players who you know you schedule for, instead of getting the players first and working around the schedule second.
Doesn’t work as well if you’re individually inviting randoms, as you many not have enough people on the first place to afford losing anyone
I can relate to a lot of these! I think mine is (as a person with a big, diverse RPG collection) not creating 1-shots more often to give "D&D only" friends some low-commitment exposure to new systems and settings.
Biggest regret as a DM: players came up with idea of having a party of "short people" -- dwarves, gnomes, halflings. The That Guy player says, "I'm gonna be a half-orc barbarian!" I didn't put my foot down. Thankfully, that was way back in the Cretaceous🦖(read: 1E), so I've had plenty of time to grow a spine! 🤣
That's happened to me so many times. Our first attempt at Strahd, one of the players wanted to be a Vampire Slayer, even though they knew everyone was making "normal" characters who didn't have any idea they were about to go to Ravenloft. DM said no and stuck to it. That player left the group instead of backing off their "idea" to essentially make the Main Character of the campaign.
Agree with the 1-20 campaign regret. My group of 5-7 players started in 2017 in college at level 1 and we played around once every 2 weeks to a month until 2023. We were only at level 14 in 2023, then our GM expedited to level 20 within a session because everyone was just too burnt out. Session is finally over. Awesome overall story and campaign (took a total of 6-8 months in game), but everyone is so burnt out that we no longer meet to play anymore.
I played 1 character the whole time. Others played 2 or 3. I literally played 1 character for 6 years. Wish we had done smaller campaigns.
As far as scheduling goes -- before starting our module, during sesh 0, I talked with them about it being a game that we will likely play for 1.5-2yrs. Thus, we need to all agree that we will dedicate the time necessary to complete it. If anyone wasnt game for that, that was the time to back out. We also have a rule that if only 1 person is missing, we still play. Everyone has done a good job of respecting those expectations.
A night of axe throwing at Blade & Timber is a fun out of the game room get-together for our group
I regret not playing DCC sooner.
40 years ago I tried to DM a campaign 1 on 1 with a best friend. There were no talks of lines and veils and I included some elements that my 8th grade mind did not recognize as insensitive. Fortunately my friend spoke up, said he wasn’t having fun, and we changed the campaign. I just ran random wilderness encounters for a few sessions, then I got some Gygax modules, recruited a couple more players, and we launched a 7 year campaign. Nice ending to a memory that started with a cringe worthy moment
Haven't finished the video yet so it might come up, but my biggest regret when I was a newer DM is that I would focus on campaign ideas and mechanics that I personally would like to play in, rather than making them based off what my players would enjoy. For instance one time I made a 3.5 campaign set in a low-magic setting that was very survival oriented and involved things like heavily monitoring food/water intake, sleep, shelter, etc... because at the time I was really into survival RPGs. Except the players weren't thrilled about it because I had spent time making a campaign that I enjoyed, not what most people would enjoy.
I don't know if this is neccesarily a regret that I have, but one thing I learned as a DM is to not worry too much about having the perfect story or quest set up. I am running a mostly homebrewed campaign and with that come a lot of moments where you have to create something yourself for the players to do.
I was running a blank on what kind of dungeon to make, so ended up using a random dungeon map generator to get myself a map for the players, threw a few cool monsters in there that I had never really seen used before, and then thought more or less on the spot what each location in the dungeon would contain.
It felt very rushed to me and I was worried it would come across as such to my players, but talking to them afterwards they said they had a great time and didn't really notice a difference between that dungeon or one that I pulled from e.g. Tales of the Yawning Portal.
To also dive in on the idea to not keep cool ideas from your players, I had this idea to give each player their own special magical weapon. They were based on items from Norse mythology, such as Gungnir. A PC died quite early on in the first dungeon through some bad luck (just level 1 things) and I didn't want them to have to immediatly roll up a new character, so he ended up getting revived by the god that his special weapon was linked to.
This was something that was unplanned and he was not really supposed to get that weapon until later, but it just so happened to be a good enough excuse at the time to get him revived. It started a chain reaction that gave the entire campaign shape. Everyone got their weapon and was curious why they had been chosen by the gods. I had not really planned anything out yet, as this was mostly beyond the scope of what I had initially planned for the campaign to be.
So the biggest advice I can give to new DMs is to not worry too much. Things don't have to be perfect. You don't have to know all the answers or plan for every contingency. The players and the DM write the story together. And if you notice that you are starting to stress too much about things, then it is okay to talk to your players about it. Chances are they will be able to reassure you that they are in fact having a blast, plus they can help you come up with what should happen next.
As a final tip, don't be afraid to use things like random generators or ChatGPT to give yourself some inspiration. Have it write entire speeches for you to read out if you must. Tools exist to be used and to make your life easier, and we are lucky to live in an era where many tools exist
One of the dnd games Im in runs every friday night but we now schedule one night off a month and usually do a house party or get dinner. Really helps a lot to ease it up a bit
Lol the shot of all the books as you talk about people buying too many books made me spit my tea out
Lucky enough to have 2 1-20 campaigns under my belt. Took 7 years to get here, but we made it! Both were set in the same homebrew world, so the second go, we were able to see the effects of our heroics... good and bad.
If i may share, i played with a group for a session or two through tomb of ahnilation during the pandemic. We played online, We all rolled stats and it was awesome, really good group of guys but very different time zones. It was a late game for me, starting at like 7 at night, we would play until like, midnight and i would get up at 6 the next day for work. I got laid off because pandemic, and fell into a spiral of depression and just ghosted them. I regret not saying anything to anyone, and not getting the help i needed. They deserved more than that and they where really cool
Personally, a skateboarding video from bob would be sick to see
My group has a scheduled time, but because of various work issues and disabilities we sometimes can't get all the players. Those days the rest of us pivot to Boardgame Arena so we still get to socialize and play something. There have been times one person is out for more than a single session, so another player picks up their character. It's pretty easy to do with VTTs.
2:30 The Galaxy Brain is "I'm a Fighter with two sentances of backstory that actually connects to just one thing in the GM's game"
I regret not getting back into DnD (played the entire summer of 2001 until our Dm went into the Army) sooner when I had more time in a day free.
I don't want to play a game where theres a friendly NPC that you can't reasonably win against. I felt this when we played a water deep heist module, and we climbed a mountain to talk to some random monk. He asked for a sparring match, and proceeded to catch every projectile I shot at him(I only used projectiles to fight), ran up to me, and non-lethal one shot me. I really liked how Brett from the world of IO did it with this slime boss though. He had a ton of health, and as the rounds progressed he told the players that he was going to gain access to higher level abilities as the fight progresses. He didn't just one shot a player to get them to know that they needed to run, which was great. No hate to our DM though, the disconnect was mainly because we come from different gaming spheres. My group mainly plays JRPGs, which to my knowledge have plenty of unwinnable fights for narrative purposes. I usually play rogue likes, which allows you to technically beat the game at level 1 if you're good enough, which is what I'm into.
Big lessons/regrets:
1. Not playing let alone DMing sooner. I played off and on for like ten years in campaigns that broke down eventually but I seriously got into D&D and at the same time realized I could actually DM and actually preferred it in 2022. Now I'm on my second campaign with these players and we've been playing together for like a year and a half.
2. I learned pretty quickly that it's *way* easier to actually get a party to last if you play weekly, not bi-weekly as a lot of people tend to do. Why? Let's assume every week you're just as likely to have someone be unavailable. If you have a situation where your party can't meet up, then with a bi-weekly schedule you are *twice* as likely to miss two weeks of play than if you normally meet weekly. It's a blessing and a curse as a DM because I have less time to prep but that also means I don't overprepare. And if the campaign actually doesn't fall apart, that's a nice bonus.
3. I also definitely agree with letting people online set my expectations and listening to the "never say 'no'" advice.
I once thought of a more positive version of starting a campaign with a total-party kill: I would tell the players that I am introducing them to a new (and homebrewed) story; to let them jump right in, and learn what the world and game mechanics are like, I would provide them with some premade characters. They could have one or possibly two "tutorial" sessions, with a relatively simple objective for them to reach.
Once they've reached the end, the players meet a threat that is far too much for them to handle --- either some extremely powerful enemy, or an army too big for their little band to fight off. And even though the characters are not guilty of any crime, the enemy attempts to slaughter them --- and succeeds. Instead of scripting the characters' deaths, I would let the players fight, let them have some successes, but ultimately let the players watch as each character succumbed.
With the fight concluded, I could tell them, "THAT is the kind of world you're living in. And that's how merciless this enemy is. So, when you make your own characters next session, remember that this is the kind of cruelty they've been experiencing."
The key difference here would be that this doesn't take away player agency; it wouldn't be THEIR characters I locked into the no-win situation. (And I suppose I could let the players know that if any of them had become emotionally attached to those premade characters, I would be willing to allow a way that the character survives the deadly encounter.)
...I've still never run my own game, but I'm thinking of possibly using this scenario someday. Maybe. Depending on how those players feel.
Just started the video and that TPK line was the opening scene in the Vecna Lives module from way back when.
I think I've watched all your videos and I think this might be my favorite so far
I regret making my homebrew campaign so long. In fairness I didnt know it would be so long. But we are on year 3 now, and although everyone is still clearly having fun, we are ready to finish. I have cut down a lot of stuff to make it end much sooner. I cant wait.
As a DM it is easiest and most fun to have an interesting world and NPC motives/scenarios and that is it. Do not plan the fully encounter or campaign, allow the players interactions to sculpt what happens and their solutions through them. When I start a campaign I have no idea where it will end but it stops you from getting married to an idea. This isn't to mean say yes to everything the players say, but to think out how their actions affect things moving forward. Maybe they decided to befriend the bear instead, well now there are NPCs in the nearby town that are enemies because the bear has been eating people. Do they still side with the bear? How do they navigate take rest and shelter if the Innkeeper won't let them get room and board? Think of it like the "yes and" but it's more of and "action therefore", don't always say yes to players either btw.
I missed the original post but for me its allowing the rules to overwhelm me and to never think any of my ideas are good enough. I really struggle putting a session together as a GM because of those two things and its something i still struggle with to this day. Heck it even impacts my solo rpging
it was the Call of Cthulhu starter set than made me man up and run several scenarios for my current D&D group. And then I went on to run a couple D&D one shots that I made up on the fly. I wish I had the courage to do it sooner though.
6:08 I don’t fully agree on this one. If a player asks to be written out, you have to find some way to do that.
Yes on the one-shots!!! They really help me by giving me the chance to run something other than fantasy. I've ran Star Trek and a superhero one-shot already this year and it was great. Helps me come back to my regular game with more steam.
My greatest regret is actually something of an ongoing problem: Not being able to shut the everliving hell up when I DM. I've had a player ask me mid-session once to please give more breathing room to let the group actually initiate roleplay and talk things through. I've definitely been better about it since but I still often catch myself tying to quip and "steal the show" when it should be my job to provide the stage for a show.
My big regret/struggle was when I realized how often I have some kind of ulterior gimmick/motive with games I've run, cause it's why I've burned out on so many games.
Every campaign I've done has been for me to test something out first and foremost, e.g. running a spontaneous style, testing out a massive homebrew overhaul or alternative rules, wanting to run a theme game, etc. These aren't bad things by themselves, but in my case, they wound up taking priority over actually providing a story.
There _was_ a story present in these cases, but I didn't spend anywhere near as much time with it as I should've so it came out shallow, and it led to a lot of burnout and limited integrations of the PC stories.
Another one, that I've been getting better on but I still see very often: don't ask for rolls for every little thing and avoid being superfluous. It's a drag to need to roll and succeed a perception check, then a knowledge check, and then a survival check all to just track down a single target or even see what direction their footprints are going, or to need to periodically repeat these rolls to stay on the trail, yet for some reason a single failure means you lose the trail entirely.
Is there any option for D) all of these above? . . Lol. . .but really I have experienced quite a few of these. Didn't think of them as 'regret', more just right of passage to being a decades long DM. Really interesting video though! Thanks Bob, this was kinda novel for me and really neat!
Re: Matthew Mercer effect, it's important that we remember that those GMs and players not only play for their own group, they have to play for the camera, which is completely different than just playing for each other. Once you have cameras bearing down on you, the expectations are through the roof, and careers might even be on the line. If there's no cameras, it's much easier and more relaxed to just be in the moment and run your own games.
Compatible experience is the thing for me, I haven't run a campaign in years, training, multiple moves, health issues, etc. Now I have considered starting up but I have no issue in what seems to be the standard expectation, I have always orientated towards more investigative, social, and combat light systems and I am just not motivated to run or play other types of campaigns. Finding a group is tough, particularly when looking at World of Darkness material as I feel you need to have an understanding of the players as games can get dark and while session zero can set boundaries the game can suffer if people lean a little too much into it. As someone who has caused a stunned silence at the table playing strictly within the established scope of the character I have seen and heard games go very askew if a player isn't being considerate.
My biggest one is sticking around tables that were bad for my mental health. One or two were for-real toxic tables, a few more were just not the right fit for me. In general I stay either because I want to see how the story ends, or because I don't want to disappoint my fellow players / GM. But neither of those are good enough reasons to stay around a table that's giving me panic attacks.
I've been playing TTRPGs since the 1980's but these regrets are recent;
1) The players wanted to play more of a sandbox style campaign as Pirates. The players don't know how to play sandbox and now the campaign is faltering because it lacks any real direction. Also, as pirates some of the players play as evil and I am finding it increasingly difficult to plan for and play sessions for evil characters. I assumed they would be more anti-hero types not the bad guys.
2) I use homebrew rules to keep the game grim/gritty and fast. One player, who tends to be a complainer, recently criticized some of these rules to me privately. I did not take it well. Upon reflection I see now that he had some good points. Bad DM.
how do you not have more subs, you are the most chill dude i've ever watched.