It’s Reigning Men: Gender Roles and How They Hurt You | Lilia Fromm | TEDxLincoln
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ธ.ค. 2024
- A thoughtful, humorous commentary, Lilia Fromm’s talk It’s Reigning Men will make you Re:Think how traditional concepts of gender impose stereotypical ideas of masculinity and femininity on men just as much as women.
Lilia Fromm is a student at Lincoln High School, Lincoln, NE. In 2014, she gave a speech on geographic confidence at TEDxYouth@Lincoln, and she has had a successful freshman year on Lincoln High’s speech team.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
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It seems to me like there might be a misunderstanding. I had the feeling she is not judging men being strong and liking blue. She is speaking against judging a boy or man for liking pink instead. It is not about saying one is better than the other but NOT to judge. Because if we do, and so make people feel they cannot do certain things we limit their possibilites to archieve things they could have archieved otherwise.
That's exactly it. The dumbasses in the comments section are so sensitive and insecure they can't even understand that. They have no idea this is good for them
She is wrong,telling,these treates are masculin,these are feminine,most of such stereotipes just imposed by society.
@@MsAmgrace what are u even saying she is wrong about?? thats literally what her entire ted talk is about lmao
Instablaster.
Have to write an essay about gender roles. Gave great insight onto the topic
How did it go😂
Being here for the same reason...
Me too lmao
yup. me too
Me too
this is currently one of my favorite ted talks. she articulated herself well, spoke clearly and got her point across. it's clear to see everything was well researched and organized. crucial points were made. all without pointing a finger, simply explaining things respectfully. I have so much admiration for Lilia
Dude it’s just propaganda
@@ltdouchebag5514 A very informative one at that.
I love how most comments on here prove every point of her presentation on Hegemonic Masculinity.
:-D
Hegemonic Feminity cancels out Hegemonic Masculinity.
Her thesis, claims, and assertions are null and void.
She's highly neurotic.
there's hegemonic femininity too, and hegemonic feminism (it's mainstream, duh- anything mainstream is hegemonic).
I agree, shame on depictions on stereotypical tomboys.
@@lockandloadlikehell you hate woman you would say that
Sometimes I think these things exist only in theories and social media.
in the Mind of 13 year old tater tots
A woman needs to know how to cook! A man needa to know how to cook! Boycott the box people!!
Her talk flowed so effortlessly, she never even took a break. What a brain!
I really don’t like gender stereotypes, it’s very unfair and very torturing
They are not stereotypes, they are fundamental human nature
@what nbba Of course not. The point is to stop judging people that stray from those norms so anybody can do the things they enjoy. Some people fit in to the stereotypes more than others but almost nobody is perfectly masculine or perfectly feminine so we should stop judging others for not being that way.
@@PURPLECHICKEN370 human nature but not a nature which only men or women can have separately.
Exactly! @@PURPLECHICKEN370
Lol
Lillia you did an amazing job! I can confirm that your Uncle Eddie is the perfect man. I hope I get to meet you one day with him beside me. congratulations on your brilliant speech.
Absolute brilliant point about considering masculinity and femininity a spectrum as opposed to two seperate parts. A new perspective
nah...it's been around 1000's of years. Yin-Yang
@@markprice5651so because it has been around for a while, that means it is helpful/true?
@@paintbox3011 Try reading what I wrote again. This time though, read it really slowly, and let the words sink in. Then ask yourself, if anywhere, at any time, did I write any words that alluded to if this is helpful/true.
I clearly pointed out, that this is far from a new perspective.
Masculinity and femininity aren't opposites or mutually exclusive. You can be both and if you are a lot of one it doesn't mean you can't also be a lot of the other. This seems like a very simplistic viewpoint that just doesn't capture the complexities of a topic like identity.
Anything MAINSTREAM will impose impose STEREOTYPICAL IDEAS.. its up to you to navigate your own life preference.
Love it!
Wow....she got everything right
I loved this, such a respectful, well spoken, and precisely articulated ted talk ! ❤️
It's still nonsense
Ancient spiritual teachings mention.. Each human is born with a masculine and feminine Energy. And true bliss comes from harmonizing these 2 with each other. Gender roles on the other hand attempt to assign a person to a polarity of one of these Energies. This can lead to spiritual imbalance in any person which then is outwardly expressed as psychological imbalance--- as we are attempting to conform into that which we are not solely composed of. And we are conditioned to deny the truth the energy not associated with our anatomy. Polarizing the expression of the energy within to either only masculine or feminine .... is a falsehood which if we listen close enough, our intuition & feelings will attempt to tell us over and over.
Societies developed these gender roles for reasons. They are usually very good reasons. Anytime the fabric of these is attacked there is potential for harm to the society.
this girl is amazing
No no she is not amazing.
loredelamor ikr she’s more than that, she’s awesome
Wish she would stop womansplaning!😆
It is almost as if a lot of young men now are having to break through old archaic norms about what their masculine roles are at work and at home after starting to need offering more help to parent small children in their 2 parent working outside the home income family. The rights of women depends on being able to support them in their fight against those archaic being driven by ancient Rome ideals about what masculinity is.
she ate that up!
Did she just womansplain what it's like to be male to me?
Scratch Point no rather she debunked mansplanning on what is it to be a male or female....
Nope the opposite she's explaining how gender roles hurt both men and women in society and how it limits the potential of what men can be.
@@abandonedfragmentofhope5415 toxic tomboy-ness and unfeminine women are embracing toxic masculinity
@@abandonedfragmentofhope5415 how is that. Explain plz
@@C1ck3nSav10r you must be kiddin. She didn't say any of that sort. She just said that she was acting like a man.... trapped in a woman's body.😄
When she said she was 15 I was mind blown. I thought she was 30 something. I’m conservative so I believe in biology and evolution in terms of gender but I’m only 2 minutes in and willing to head her viewpoint
I don't think she was talking about evolution....
PERIODTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
I KNOW RIGHT PERIOOODDTTTT 😭
Bravo!!!
This is the first time I've seen a woman accurately breakdown the issue here
Idk what to think about this.on the one hand it’s obvious. On the other I’m happy she got the opportunity. I don’t think gender roles are necessarily bad. But I could see that they could not feel right for others
gender roles arent bad until they turn into societal expectations and regulations that one cant break free from without facing social stigma..
gender roles is not bad at all if its not forcing someone to act by the expectations of society. as long as its not hurting both gender it is okay. and she never said gender roles is bad instead she said that we human should do whatever we want to expand our potential and not limit yourself because of this toxic gender stereotypes
yep and really bad manosphere if do not have the right personality. I am intp and christian and often feel the pressure to act like ESTJ. Only good thing about being intp male that I typical male interested.
Everyone talks about toxic masculinity is, but noone talks about what real masculinity is. She never explain what it means to be a man
Men can be what ever they want to.
We men can be whatever we want to be.
As a girl, i would only tell men to be himself not to try to fit in gender norms. Every men are not the same and every women are not the same. And our biological facts cannot tell our weaknesses and strengths.
@@sarithajagajith6568 yes true that , i agre 100% , however would you not agree that men are better capable to do certain things than women and vice versa. And if yes, why that is, if not biological differences.
@@Akrazzyynonsense
3:09 💚
This was a good vid! Like dis
Why not have toxic careerism? Tell go-getters to stop shaming people without the same aspirations.
and techno geeks to stop all those inventions that shame the rest of us, making us weak and feeling not to belong. Toxic techno geeks, my foot.
This TED talk was interesting, and I think the girl, like most of us, has some self-reflection to do. Obviously theres nothing wrong with the spectrum of the genders, so If the spectrum of possibilities are endless, then why should we "break down masculine stereotypes"? Also if your draqqueen uncle is the ideal man for you, then you might ask yourself, how that will translate into your own relationship with a male partner. Do you for example want your man to dress you up and help you with your make-up? Is that a masculine trait? The mere fact that "dressing up" and "being a girl" in her estimation are feminine traits is shocking. Both men and women dress up, so we will have to look at the specifics of the clothes they dress in, to be able to say more about how these reflect the feminine and the masculine. Dressing up itself is not a personal trait, and "being a girl" is the same as saying that "being a woman" is feminine. It doesn't really say much about the feminine traits.
Not being opposite doesn't mean they're the same.
what are you reffering to ?
Wow, you're right, every INDIVIDUAL human is different.
Like si vienes por las clases virtuales
Great talk do more plz💯
Watched this for my Social Justice class but loved every second! So well said!
I'm a 25 girl, unmarried, and was very happy about this until I realized the down side. It's like living far from
your family - yes, you feel independent, unrestricted, and able to live for yourself.
But with age, you realize that living for yourself is entertaining, but not fulfilling.
You don't need to rush into marriage, and when you're married don't rush out of the marriage. But the journey of
life spent with another gives you something precious that can't be bought. That companionship, even if it ends
badly, is better than ending alone.
When I was younger, I looked at all the divorce out there and misery and hatred between exes, and I thought “I'm
not going to make some one miserable, I'm not going to spend my life with someone I hate” …well, that's like
saying “I'm not going to drive a car because of all the accidents.” Thats not the answer - the answer should be
to wear seatbelts, take precautions. My resolution SHOULD have been “I'm going to love my spouse, for whoever he
is, and I'm going to give him my best.” Instead, I chose to live for me, and that's who I got …just me.
Find someone to love, and give them your best. Like an ocean voyage, it may not last forever but at least you gave
it your best shot. And there may be many perils and storms, but atleast you survived them with someone. The
relationships that I've had were very special to me and I wish I had gotten married. Instead, I married my
“independence”.
The people that get divorced and hate each other, they didn't know how to love, they were selfish - it wasn't
“marriage” that created the misery, it was their unwillingness to love each other.
Love is willing to accommodate (not a reluctant willingness, but an eager willingness), even when you don't really
want to. Even when there's no gain from it. Even when the other person is annoying, or stinky, or exhausting.
And when you can love your spouse like that, chances are your spouse will, too. And yes, it's POSSIBLE that you
might love a person who doesn't, or can't, love their spouse …and that is sad. It really is. But I'd rather go to
the Olympics and fail, than never go at all.
Love is patient, love is kind.
Love does not envy, is not boastful and is not conceited.
Love is not rude or self-seeking.
I'm waiting for the right one. If you agree with what I said, then contact my whatsapp: +447901380061
I travel around the world, and my love won't be limited by district.
Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I wish I knew that much at 25 , I’m 50 and alone and have just figured that out . Well done you are truly inspiring
You're a bot lol. Or affected by your own bias. This does not make you not able to work with others- Your own bias projects that.
Way to dox yourself at the end
So well done
Kids, have a family story to share? Just google one or two big words that make you sound clever (not “hegemonic masculinity”, that has been used) and you could be giving the next TedTalk!
you think hegemonic masculinity sounds clever ? lmao
The way she forms ideas (evident in the flow of her speech) is an obvious indicator of her intelligence. Not her vocabulary. She did everything right.
"impossible stereotype"
Riiight
Speak for yourself
Interesting talk, though I don't think they made the case for "male privilege" in the way they wanted to. The talk was informative on the whole, though I don't agree with about half of what was said.
Right. It was western MEN who invented most in technology and civilization, and not women. There are exceptions (Marie Curie) but that's an exception to the rule. Without men, we would definitely dwell in caves. Silly men bashing video.
@@CS-zn4bu do you just copy and paste this response wherever you feel it necessary?
Yes @@NoxBVansyn
They will let anyone give a ted X talk! What a bunch of leftist nonsense.
sure adam
@@maggiiuwu3022 Lazy reply.
@@adamgoldsteintv sure adam
@@petar2744 you are giving a TEDx talk right now probably
AND yet heels she wears...we clearly still have a long way to go sister! :(
Imagine our cave dwelling ancestors had this debate... Where would humanity be?
but we aren't dwelling in caves.
They all be eaten by the predators roaming outside, world is brutal place. Survival of fittest doesnt care about woke
@@kooby122 We aren't dwelling in caves because MEN invented most in technology and civilization. Without men, we would definitely dwell in caves. Silly men bashing video.
Exaclty. Woke is silly to the max! @@demolishman8178
Just male and female
Great talk, but sadly it's based on the false (probably made up) premise that there are no differences between the two sexes, something that has been debunked by all sorts of studies. Also I think her talk was ideologically motivated, so naturally, any bogus pseudo science will do to back her point. A+++ for a genders studies assignment, E- for reality.
Oh and yeah there is in fact a spectrum, which just happens to be very polarized, you know, due to biology and the innate differences between the two sexes. Just cause her pink power ranger uncle was somewhere in the middle doesn't mean the whole society would be.
Sources to those studies?
"The scientific terminology for people who don't believe in sex differences is childless."
Nah, I love being a traditional woman and letting my man support me. ❤
No one is saying you shouldn't do that
How they hurt you lol
"no biological differences"... OK
Traditional gender roles are important if you understand what's the importance of it. Women are meant to nurture and men are meant to provide. That's why most men go to work and women are meant to look after the house.
كلام رائع جدا احببتها...❤
But she is wrong
@@ltdouchebag5514 What did you do wrong?
@@user-imamasidi nothing
The compliments for her are great and all, but y'all are showing your internalized misogyny by saying things like "wow what a brain" or "wow she spoke clearly and you could actually understand her and not immediately dismiss everything about her "
this is ok. but hardcore victim mindset feminism has given men a reason to be lazy. physically if a guy punches me in the face I'm more likely to be injured than him. I cannot carry heavy items as easily as heck. why didn't you speak about that??
Because those are the talking points that defeat feminism and make us unequal.
Ah yes, because having feminine traits = "lazy". The whole point of this ted talk is to say that men having feminine traits is NOT inherintly worse than a man being masculine.
@@toolio5268 nobody said laziness was a feminine trait.
Look
If my 60 year old mother can easily move a whole couch by herself,you can easily carry "heavy items".
We aren't your servants
Cute presentation.
Now go make me a sandwich. 😁
@@marcelinevonschrute9850 wow you hate a joke good for you
you must be fun at parties
@@evapeterson3168
I am a blast.
so funny haha
funny, did you think of that one all by yourself ?
Horrible talk, feminism is never the right answer!
loredelamor ofcours it is ALWAYS
@Steil Olivia I don't think he has the mental capacity
Ah yes,what Gave women rights is never the right answer 🤡🤡🤡
@@γιουργια Freedom to be crazy single cat ladies. LMAO
This is wrong on so many levels
how?
I don't get it. Whats so wrong about gender roles?
They enforce outdated stereotypes that women should be quiet, never get angry and should just say yes to everything, even if they disagree. Or that men should repress their emotions, be viewed as aggressive and dangerous and not allowed to like things like the colour pink or other things deemed feminine.
@@NoxBVansyn So basically. Women should stop being bitches?
@@NoxBVansyn Yeah....that is just male nature
@@NoxBVansyn So basically. We stereotyped women as peaceful creatures who are not unapproachable?
@@NoxBVansyn The modern trend is making bad things into good things and good things into bad things. I get it.
So destructively wrong, it hurts me to hear this misinformation
Would like to elaborate on that statement?
Right. It was western MEN who invented most in technology and civilization, and not women. There are exceptions (Marie Curie) but that's an exception to the rule. Without men, we would definitely dwell in caves. Silly men bashing video.
I do not fully agree with her but I do love her voice 😂
Well this was pretty much delusional.
How so?
@NoxBVansyn This speaker is confused and uninformed. She claims that masculine and feminine traits are specifically taught rather than coming from our biological differences which is highly unlikely. No one was there to teach first man and society that these were the norms, they became that way because of our differences AND in order to have a functional society.
@@NoxBVansyn Your thoughts?
@@Z-STL314 I agree with your take. Being feminine, masculine, androgynous, or a combo of those traits isn't something that's necessarily taught. Just because someone is born female, male, or intersex doesn't mean they'll grow up to be what society views as typical for their assigned gender.
Man before I watch this I already don’t agree😂because I think roles in society like back in the day help keep structure in society.
When we say to abolish gender roles, we are indicating that while others are free to continue those roles, they shouldn't limit others to conform to them.
It's giving people a choice to choose the path right for them without indoctrinating them into that belief that there is only one way.
Simplified: those who want to continue gender roles are free to do so without hindering others to such beliefs.
Personally, if people are wanting to exist outside those norms then they are free to do so. We shouldn't force others. It's called equality.
@@scarlettsoul3805 we’re already equal and with the gender thing everybody shouldn’t have to change to make you feel better about yourself if you wanna be different be different but u ain’t changing us girl is a girl and boy is a boy none of this extra stuff
@@bigflanks294
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
You mean Stupidity?
@@bigflanks294 Except some boys like pink. Some girls like sports. Some boys are nurturing. Some girls are leaders. Gender roles are silly.
Hmm, So I can , lets say, " lift 500 lbs over my head" and you can not. By lifting this wieght makes me a "over compansating man based on my masculinity" ? I have 2 daughters, love them.. I give them confidence that they are just as talented as the next person in their own way. I see thtat your attempting to build the picture that your "you" ..I Love it. that you can play in anyworld you want, and thats perfect..But you lost me on the stereo typical judgment about men. And i find this often in speechs based on the same subject matter. Now I honestly mean no disrespect, you dont need to build this box of the MANS world.. But do not forget that I have to lift the 500 lbs to compete. So since my competition can lift the 500 lbs and I need to do the same if not better. This working fabric of what I just discribed is always put out into the world as the Mans World. Play baseball and wear a dress thats cool, but when you play the game you have to swing the bat..
Jay Gartner I'm sure females in your same career have to lift exactly the same. That's your CAREER. Let's talk about boys that don't have that career. And are expected to have Abs, muscles etc. Now imagine your un-muscular make having to face this stereotype because society says that's how you get attractive. Where as your daughters are not supposed to look muscular because it's ugly in society. You talk about swinging the bat, Hun if people come to play baseball, they don't just come to hold the bat. There is a stereotype for men my friend, if you don't see it, you probably forget your expectations in others, how'd you feel seeing a man in a dress or makeup? There you go, you just judged someone and gave them a stereotype or judgement, while someone might then to you with your muscles and your so accepted by society so your in the green line. What about someone in the red line?. And if you are the type that doesn't judge, so what I just said doesn't apply to you, stop being conceited to a point that you'll disagree that there's A B & C out there that WOULD judge them. If you don't think there is a stereotypical judgement about men, TAKE A DEEP LOOK AROUND AND QUESTION YOUR CHILDREN TODAY ABOUT WHAT A MAN SHOULD BE AND WHAT A WOMAN SHOULD BE, how they look, what they do?. Your argument right now will fail through the mouth of your kids if I'm not enough to break it.
Actually I worked for woman that was a man and often she talked about her football and how she felt some pride in playing it. So its not so much that I want to take away from her points because I do agree with of what she says. Its the idea that men do things when they are young that are ment to re-enforce a idea of what a young boy thinks a man should be. Thats what I do not agree with. And of course there is no absolutes in people, some people are this some are that. In the last 20 yrs society has taken something from men, and I believe that boys need to get into fist fights, and allowed to be the testosterone driven identities that they are. I think she is a very smart young lady, and should be allowed to be who she want to be, but in the same sense dont take away from the other side to do that. I think we are actually of the same side of coin but on different edges. And of course I do not see it through a womans eyes, i do agree if society makes her feel like to be accepted she needs to "not" be better than a boy at something, or she has to wear high heels to feel accepted in society isnt necessarily fair, and it should not be fair, people need that struggle to help them grow to understand themselves to fail and get back up or to win and be humble, becasue its biological also not just physilogical. I guess it was her stating than men over-compinsate to be accepted as men is far from true, and that we should stop the stereo typical views that society places on us, or at least ones that feel like they have to be accepted to feel like they belong should not be taken away. This will be a struggle in herself that she will appriate in the end.
Jason Gartner I read your entire comment, and at some points I cannot understand it at all. The English is clear but it's not clearly stated. In some areas it feels like you are agreeing with the woman in the speech, in other parts your disagreeing with her (at least that's how I am reading it). I don't even know if you meant that society has taken away things from boys, and that you believe that boys should have fist fights or being testosterone driven because that's how they are. If you could rewrite this and be clear id appreciate it as I cannot reply to something I don't quite understand. And by rewrite I mean the entire thing all the way from your trans boss to the end, because you also mention "taking points away from her", what do you mean? Doesn't make sense.
Abigale Kirsten I think he misinterpreted what she said. The speaker was saying that the stereotypes hold men back and limit them in a box. I think he interpreted it as she’s saying men should stop doing stereotypical things. That’s y he said men should be able to fight and do testosterone driven stuff. When in truth males should be able to do all the testosterone driven stuff, but the problem is the negatives that come along with going outside the box of masculinity. If you don’t stay in that box of masculinity you will lose your “power” and “privilege” of being a man. So with that said, u can still do “manly” things but you don’t have to discriminate or make others feel like less of a man because they don’t do “manly” things
You don't need to lift a lot of weight to "be a man"
TED's teenage niece TALKS - nice but i can pop down to the nearest high school to hear this stuff. She's good, but is lacking the gravity of someone with experience and knowledge. Cameraman should have chosen hairdressing instead!
Why you scared of having a male as a hairdresser?
Define experience
Look at other tedx talks
If it’s a man he would be wearing coat and suit ,full sleeve shirt or half sleeve shirt or T shirt
But what about women they Generally they wear “revealing “ clothes
Do society consider women as some objects that you display?
can you translate this into english and maybe someone could answer your question
@@maggiiuwu3022 no need it’s rhetorical