Internalized Transphobia (Revisited).
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
- Am I Transphobic?
I don't think so.. I just think society has been feeding me horrible things about trans people since I was little that its hard to separate them from who I am now sometimes.
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My mom taught me, that your first thought is what society has told you and the second thought about that same subject is what you really think and in my opinion she has a great point. So as long as you recognize the first thought as a not-your-own thought and correct yourself, you'll be fine. It's usual and completely normal. I have noticed that I have problems with internalized racism, transphobia and sexism. It's just how I have been raised, but I correct myself every fucking time and I try never ever to show these thoughts to anyone, because I don't think like that. (Sorry if my English is shitty and all over the place today, I'm Finn and also don't give a fuck today)
Yeah I know about this too! So you shouldn't worry about ur first thought~
I'm glad you can recognize your internal thoughts and then correct them, it's an amazing way of self control and that's great
I also have that same problem with judging what clothes people wear. I have to correct myself and remind myself that people can wear whatever the frick they want. I still feel guilty for even having those thoughts in the first place, though.
Sanni J I understand your comment perfectly
I used to be a huge trans/homophobe when I was religious. It took me a while to accept myself (I'm a bi transguy) and others.
That's great that you were able to learn about the community!
+Devin Hera That's awesome that you've stopped being trans and homophobic!! We get another person to our community! I wish you all the best of luck for the future! :D
Could you do a video about non-binary people transitioning? Or about nb people being excluded under the trans umbrella and frowned upon in some trans spaces?
This is really important topic though
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my guess about why the cognitive dissonance is happening is the sort of unspoken narrative of "why was i not enough before? why am i only acceptable in your eyes now because someone else came out whose name was more widely known than mine?" or at least that's the vibe I get and sort of the feels that I have on the subject. Like... why am i not enough of an authority on my life and my experiences in your eyes but someone who knows neither of us personally is a person whose word you'll accept? almost as though the familiarity and closeness robs us of legitimacy.
i've watched my mom cry her eyes out at ted talks by trans folx and drag queens even when they talk about how difficult it is to exist and be accepted. Once I asked her why she cries at that stuff but won't acknowledge that I'm not a girl and she replied "i just don't see you like that" like ....??? the fuck though???
i still find myself thinking slightly transphobic stuff at times. we're all learning and i know that i'm completely wrong and i get disgusted with myself whenever i find myself thinking these things. idk i guess it's a work in process
Chase, I love how you get your viewers to THINK and you inspire conversation. You truly are who I aspire to be.
it scares me how much I am expecting violence and disrespect from everyone. I don't even care anymore. last week I had some older guys screaming at me very very loudly from behind and they got really close and all I could think was "grab me already.beat me up already. so I can be home by 6:30 and finish my homework".
princess of adderall your comment really touched me. I'm sorry that happened to you and you feel this way.
Let's hope things change soon.
I wish you the best.
Agreed. You really aren't alone. I feel this constantly and for me it was also the Jenner thing that triggered it. I'm starting to notice myself having real conversations with people about trans related topics and at the same time my brain is like "I'm being pranked". I feel like ten years went by in the last 8 months and it's fucking foreign! It's sad and strange, but it's good we listen to ourselves and can process it.
You shouldn't have to tip toe around your thoughts, and I hate how much people have become trained to do so. I can't speak for all your subscribers, but I appreciate your 120% honesty with how you feel in each moment. I love how much you challenge the way you think and want to figure out what it is that's causing x, y, and z in your brain.
I don't think it's internalized transphobia (thought it probably stems from it) so much as it's just shock and confusion. For me at least, it's not "why are we *getting* rights now?" it's more like "why are we getting rights *now*?" Like, why did it take THIS LONG for people to realize we're fucking human beings and deserve the same things everyone else does? And tbh I have that thought about a lot of things concerning rights of various people throughout history. I think "why did it take so long for trans people to start getting rights? why are we still constantly having to fight for this?" for the same reason I think "why did it take so long for poc to start getting rights? why are they still constantly having to fight for this?" and "why did it take so long for disabled people to start getting rights? why are we still constantly having to fight for this?" etc. etc. etc. Marginalization makes exactly zero sense to me, it's like the brown eyes experiment except it's a real thing that people do and with as much reason. It's infuriating.
The visibility is both awesome and terrifying because, well, a deer is safe in the woods until you hang a bell around its neck. So the new visibility is dangerous because it makes it easier for assholes to target us but it's also a weapon. Because now when we get attacked, when we get killed, when some new law tries to take away our rights it doesn't get ignored... it gets plastered all over twitter and facebook and youtube and it gets hundreds of thousands of people talking about and fighting against it.
So there is a lot of acceptance, lots of allies, but all of this attention when you're used to attention being dangerous is still unsettling. Sometimes I just want to go hide in a box, make people stop talking about it because it feels safer (even though overall it's way more dangerous because silence kills). So it's definitely not just you, it happens to me too. I just... I don't get upset about it? I get *angry* which just makes me more stubborn and determined to be openly trans as much as possible.
I definitely agree with your thoughts. I think that trans people really prepare themselves for the worst, so when good things happen, we're like ??? And just when you start to understand that people are beginning to accept trans people, then someone in the community dies. It's so easy to be left feeling very confused about where we stand and how we should be feeling about it.
This happens to me too.. I'm kind of disconnected from the trans* community despite being a transitioning ftm myself (due to crippling social anxiety etc), so certain things I think or do have me wondering 'do other trans* people think//do this too? Does this make me a ~bad transman~?' And then I have no one to ask. Chase, you're my favorite person in this community because you talk about this stuff in an energetic, passionate, easily digestible way, and ask for feedback comments (which I also read as a supplement to your videos) and it really helps me with easing my mind about certain things, like this.
Videos like this one and your recent Caitlyn one make me really want to hang out with you irl haha. (Which is amazing, because with my anxiety I don't even /want/ to speak to my family or coworkers) Your videos make me think, and help to ease my trans*-related stress points, and also often make me laugh (only when appropriate, ofc).. So thank you a whole lot, from the bottom an top of my heart!! c:
it’s incredibly comforting to know other trans people have the same upsetting mindsets, i always feel horrible about it and carry around a lot of guilt. thank you for making this video!
every time i see masses of comments telling me i don’t exist, i’m sick, i’m not real, i’ll regret it. it really starts to get to me and videos like this help a lot
Wow this video is amazing. I hadn't thought about this like you are describing. Although, I'm a transguy from Iceland and I really feel supported even though there are people in my society that think that transpeople are mentally sick and this is all just a phase, the majority (at least around me) is so accepting and supportive! And about K. Jenner coming out as trans hasn't made that much of a difference here in Iceland, that I've noticed.
It is really interesting to wonder, why are people accepting us (trans) but we are still getting murdered/attacked/pushed to the edge of society?!
Also, I love how your mind is processing all your thoughts throughout the video. :)
I think we finally wore them out, Chase. But acceptance comes in at chunks at a time just when we think we aren't getting anywhere with this war on acceptance.
People who don't know me but know I'm trans would single me out as if that was the only thing that mattered. While there are people that don't know I'm trans and it doesn't matter, it never comes into the conversation when I'm dealing with them. I don't go about introducing myself as, "Hi, my name is _____ and I'm trans", unless it was relevant or it mattered.
Hey, here's an idea. Replace the word TRANS with HAPPY. Imagine how that conversation would go: "Hey, did you hear about ______, he's HAPPY now. What about that. How dare he be HAPPY. (Why can't I be HAPPY too? )
Those ignorant people, they really make themselves obvious to me, they really make it clear on what they don't understand. They can't hide.
thank you for posting this. i think about this a lot too and while i know there's almost never an "odd one out," it still really helps to know for certain there are other people out there who worry about the same things i do. as always, you rock, chase.
I'm so happy you are putting words in feelings I've been experiencing.
I think this is such an interesting topic, and as a white het cis feminist I do understand how we who think we are allies can add to the confusion. I've considered myself a well read tolerant person, but now I know I've had (and prob still have) lots and lots of misconceptions about ie what it means to be trans because I just didn't know (so now I'm here learning). I know there are many of us who think we are being helpful and understanding, but often say and do transphobic things. I think the visibility is key, as it has been with many other issues of social justice. With visibility comes acceptance of the existence of different people, and later on also knowledge of the issues they face and knowledge on how to help. Your doing important work, lots of love and strength to you! (gonna watch some more videos now)
Feminism doesn't have a point
I think you're totally right as far as why you're feeling this way. The visibility and slow march to acceptance is overwhelming when you weren't even expecting it to happen yet. As a gay cis guy I felt this way when marriage equality was ruled in our favor. I knew it would come, but like you I actually thought it would happen when I was 40 too.
My mom recently discussed trans issues with her 80 yo aunt and found she was very accepting of a friend's trans son. This happened because Caitlyn Jenner came out. Total Ellen moment for the trans community.
Thanks for making these videos the way you do. You puzzling out your thoughts in the video helps me puzzle out my own while watching it; I often find my viewpoints aligning with yours and it makes me feel a bit more sane and normal. Also, not to be weird, but I love the shape of your nose.
I'm dealing with this issue too, and it's ridiculous. You are not alone. Thank you for talking about it.
I totally agree, and I've felt similarly. You expect not to be treated normally, combined with prior self-hate and hate from others. But I've done this.
You were talking about how so many people are beginning to accept us, but at the same time we're still being persecuted.I'd just like to say that that's 100% true and it's really weird. I'm a transguy and I'm a sophomore in high school, and par my request, my guidence counselor created a policy for our school board to vote on stating that trans students can use the bathrooms/lockerrooms (mostly the latter) they want with zero opposition. It was voted on last night, and it didn't pass. There were a lot of kids from my school advocating for it, saying that trans people just want to change their clothes, or pee, then to to class like cis people. But there were a lot of adults saying shit like "it's just a phase"/"this is a fad"/"what if the cis peole are uncomfortable"/"trans isn't real" and it made me super upset because the older generation is taking away my basic human rights, while my fellow students were arguing for me! The policy is being put on the table until the January meeting. I kinda wish that there were more adults with half a brain that could actually vote for me and get shit done. But in general, a lot of the people who you know, aren't killing us, are younger and have littl political power. (Sorry for taking up the comments with my rant)
I have something similar. When I had accepted myself, there was a period of relief that felt like regret because I wasn't used to having a weight off of me. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not regret.
I love you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love seeing people process their thoughts in a similar way that I do.
I think I understand you, that it becomes like an inner conflict that can be hard to deal with. I've been there myself and I kinda am there right now, like why so much hate and acceptance at once? No I can't claim to understand it either. You make a good point, Chase, as you often do. This video made me think, and I'll think about it some more later on as well. (I'm ftm too, maybe I should add). I'm on your side, however, and I do agree to what you're saying, and I think I understand it too, but please correct me if I'm wrong somewhere.
I can totally get this. It's like I'm wary of why we're getting good things, are we going to get tricked? - I don't want to accept it because there feels like there's a horrible reason behind this sudden accepting society. It's almost as if its too good to be real, so its not real. I think that might be what you're trying to get at? I'm probably so wrong xD
holy shit chase bless i've been trying for a week to come up with an idea for my film project and this video made it click
I think internal transphobia has a far more complex cause than outer transphobia. i think it has to do with our own lack of understanding of whats happening and why
You are amazing and it really helps me to know I am not alone thinking these things about me too. I am so glad you make videos!
I realise this video is a little old and you might feel different now, so I'm rather late to the party but - you don't sound at all phobic. You sound shocked and surprised and grateful and angry and suspicious and relieved and... all those mixed up things that are reasonable to feel when you see and experience society struggling to make huge, overdue but still staggering, shifts around you and about you, just so that you can get on with normal life. I felt the same through the 80s and 90s around being gay, and can STILL hardly believe the changes. And then I see what's going on in Russia and Nigeria and other parts of the world where being gay means living your life in terror of arrest and worse, and then I know it'd be odd NOT to feel afraid or crazy or enraged... Anyway, I'm so pleased that you make these thoughtful videos. Thank you and all best wishes.
You're not alone. I feel completely fine about anyone else being Trans but when I think about the journey ahead of me I hate the waiting... I hate that I will never be cis, I hate that I will never be a man because people will only ever see a trans-man, like I will spend the rest of my life as a freak!!! But really this is mostly what I feel about ME and not what I or everyone else thinks or feel about trans people.
I think the exact same thing. Not about anyone else, just me.
+Ronny Black Yeah... I would so choose to be born a guy. Yeah I agree my experiences make me who I am but for me that's not been all good.
+Riley Stone Thanks it's so nice not to be alone in that.
I have also felt the same way about myself. As a young child growing up trans was indescribable. And it still for many, if not most, trans youth, children and yes even us adults. The difference is that many of us have grown up and r still dealing with inner transphobia to some degree. I will digress for a moment. When I was a child I would pray before going to sleep at night, and play the whole scenario out in my mind before going to sleep. It was that when I woke in the morning I would be physically a boy. I did this every single night. Well you all know where that got me. I think a lot of trans people have felt this and done this as well, if not all of us, at one time or another. I don't know if we ever really and truly accept ourselves truly and completely but maybe as completely as is possible because at some point you have to say to yourself, I'm giving up and I can't or refuse to go on," or you have to decide," I will go on and I have to accept the fact that I was not physically born male but I must do whatever I can to be as close to that male physique as I am able to so as to best match my externals with my internals. It is a battle. Some days it's worse than others and sometimes it better than the day before. If any one of us deals with inner transphobia at some time or another throughout our lives we have to remember it's because realizing we are trans automatically separated and made us different and/or separate from what we are on the inside and from what we know we really are innately. And it feels like a horrible cosmic joke was played on us. So of course when you are forced to be something you are not we need something or someone to blame. And where else can we lay that blame except onto the thing that separates us from our true selves?Ourselves, our transgender selves. Once we understand, realize, and can come to terms with our realities( ongoing for most) is when we will see less inner transphobia happening to ourselves and our fellow brothers and sisters. It is difficult
,if down right impossible, to get rid of that inner hate. Because we all want to be the same. We don't want to be different. And for all intents and propose we are the same but we weren't and aren't most of the time treated as such. Similar to what Chase has said, I believe that most of the inner transphobia will not disappear until we are accepted as regular human beings. Treated as all human beings should be treated and looked at. As normal. Now will that get rid of all of our inner transphobia,... hmmmm, maybe not completely but with a more accepting world it will be easier to get through with support that we all deserve from family, friends, peers, health professionals, teachers, etc. Any and all struggles are made easier with positivity, support and help from our world and our inner circles. So maybe one day there will be trans kids growing up that may have to deal with some things that other children may not but it will not be considered impossible.
As a 18 year old non binary lesbian who literally just came out with a bunch of terms over the spand over a year (2021- 2022)
And my family denying me and still calling me she/her or many transphobic people on the Internet, plus just watching a female TH-camr and instantly wanting to understand what it’s like to be happy in my own body that I have now I feel like that may lead to the same thoughts you are having and that maybe all or a lot of us may experiencing! Some times it’s even hard for me to understand that I am gay
I have felt so similarly to this at times. Thanks for the video!
I do the same thing too a lot of the time. I think from a pre - t, completely passing as female point of view, I espicially don't see the services, and think that there really is nothing I can do. At least for myself, I just have to understand that there are hormones and therapists and medication that are available, if I work for it.
I'm also wondering if you can do a video about passing pre - t and if its a good thing or a bad thing?
Hey man, first off all you're awesome. Keep doing what you do, you give me and many others strength!
Secondly, I get what you mean and how you think. I kind of think like that about hormones. Since I'm one of them hippies that think everything should be natural I think it's difficult to accept changes of the natural being. At the same time, I'm so all for hormones - some of us cannot be happy without it. I wish I could discuss this with you face to face, you seem like a great person. Scandinavia is faaar away. All the best to you, thank you!
thank you for exposing yourself to some hate to bring light upon out community conscience your really helped a lot today. Lots of love from France ✌✨💪❤
7:46 You're getting rights, "why?" because you deserve them, we deserve to be loved and have a decent life and have dignity, opportunities, etc. Empowering ourselves makes the difference.
It's good that in some countries trans* people are having more visibility and I'm happy as fuck for them, I understand how you're feeling Chase and I agree with it. I just wish things were changing like this in all countries, like in Italy (which is where I am from) it's still a struggle everyday for us because we basically have no rights and it sucks.
I'm non binary. I've only come out to a few people, because there are days where I still hate myself for being non binary. In my mind I know my identity is valid, but there are some days where I hate myself so much for being non binary that I can't even function properly. For a while I tried to force myself to be either a girl or a boy. I questioned everything my instincts told me. My gut reaction to the question of whether I'm a girl or a boy is neither, yet there's part of me that constantly tells me that that's not possible and I'm just making it up, even though I know I'm not. That's part of the reason I'm scared to come out to more people, because I know there will be people who won't believe me and who'll think I'm making it up and I don't know if I'm confident enough to face them.
I totally get what you are trying to say in this video. Like I feel like we've been raised to believe that we will never get rights or that we aren't human so now that things are moving forward and we aren't prepared for it its kind of like 'what? This wasn't meant to happen?' even though it is a great thing.. and I think that that its great that we are finally being accepted but its really an odd feeling. Like I wasn't mentally prepared for this to happen??
Oh my gosh I thought I was the only trans person who in their mind thought these transphobic things. I went through a very dark time because these transphobic thoughts were getting to me because I knew I was trans and I hated myself for thinking these things about a community that I'm in.
I hope this makes sense and that you get to read it Chase.
What's not connecting with trans and society has to do with race and the stigma people have for male and female roles. People are more accepting of white trans than people of color. But then you have the fact that femininity is so frowned upon that mtf get not only hate for being trans, but for trying to become female, which is seen as 'weak' to society, plus adding color on top of it all, well, that's what's wrong.
What's wrong is people, how they think, why they think that way, how we are raised. As long as hate exists there will always be struggle. What we are living now is neither the 'BEFORE' or 'AFTER' effects of how trans is being viewed. I think we are living in that toxic middle, and until things are settled we'll have see what happens from here on out.
I think we all feel this way on some level. I like you will read the negative comments. I think it's like driving by an accident and having to look. You know you shouldn't, but curiosity wins out over common sense. Transitioning is really hard to get to for some of us. I think it's the internalization of those horrible messages and judgements that hold many of us back. That was certainly part of it for me, I didn't start transitioning until age 55. Once the negative talk is internalized it becomes part of our background subconscious chatter. I think it's fear driven to some degree. We are afraid of what friends, family and society will say and do. The fear is warranted and not. People are being killed for being Trans, that's a fact. We are also being accepted more and more by so many people and institutions. Just as the gay rights movement has growing pains, the Trans movement does as well. For some reason we must go through the gauntlet of haters before we get accepted and normality settles in around being Trans. Let's face it being Trans is kind of a weird thing. There are times when I say, "why the hell was I born this way and for what reason"? I know it wasn't a mistake, but as for why I will never be able to answer. Anyone who is out of step with "normal" (whatever that is) will always have internal questions and off center questioning comments. Everyone just wants to be accepted for who they are.
Yes. This happens. It sucks but thank you for talking about it.
My voice is dropping and it feels like a ticking time bomb before it outs me. And I'm projecting rejection and potential rejection onto myself and having major internalized transphobia and terror of what it will mean to navigate the world as a trans person when so many people will think I'm a freak. I don't know what to do.
This video was awesome! It would be cool if you did a video on how there is little representation of trans men in the media and stuff
Believe me it's not just you, I deal with this as well but I'm learning to overcome it.
Wow I really like your shirt
Read the comments Chase we all like you, you're a good guy. see that was worth reading. :o)
I think it's that a majority of people are ok with it, and so those are the people voting and rallying and raising awareness. But you have to remember, to end a life only takes one awful person. Those people out there killing trans people, out of their own irrational fear, are creating more fear in trans people, thus making it scarier to come out. Though I know it's not this simple, if everyone came out, there would be a lot more support, because everyone would know at least one person they could talk to.
It's very normal to have internalized transphobia, we all do at some extent. And I know, never read the comments, but I want to read them, I can't resist. Things are not perfect yet, but I hope it will get better and better.
Unfortunately, in France, we're still invisible and hated. Things are not progressing at all. We are trying to, but people still use a lot the wrong words and don't know anything about gender…
My school is highly transphobic and homophobic and when someone accepts it, I think the same thing.
We accept you because you are human, real, as lovebale as any other person, and brave. Incredibely brave.
Learned helpness dear, I think that's part of it.
It's just because it's a society norm and how we were raised and I literally have done the same thing it's a psychology thing in the brain it's normal
I am totally ok with trans people and I really think that everyone should do whatever makes them happy. It is really none of my business and I really do not care about anyone's sexual orientation, even in the tiniest place in the bottom of my brain. I really think that gender stereotypes should be discouraged and I dream of a society where everyone lives loving whoever they want, without feeling the urge and the need to yell to the world "Hi I'm XYZ and I'm gay/straight/bi", because I think that sexual habits, as well as weight, height, natural hair color or hairs on their chest etc, are probably the most uninteresting and unimportant things to me that I want to get to know in the first place about a person that I meet for the first time, or that I see on TV or whatever.
So, I literally accept everyone for who they want to be.
Nevertheless I pose myself that question or think about that issue, according to that thought that every idea or situation, or with Einstein's words, everything is relative: transphobic society thinks that trans people are mentally ill, and trans people think they are physically ill. Or better said: society thinks trans people need to find the cure for their mind (that would be psychological treatment to modify their self-perception), while trans people need to find the "cure" for their body (that would be body modification by transitioning with hormones and bottom/top surgery). Both ideas aim at establishing a balance between body and soul, right? Because both points of view are based on that idea that there is a sort of "illness" or something broken, that doesn't match, right? Is there a solution that fits for everyone in the same way? Couldn't it be possible that mind or body issues are relative? Some would think it's right to change your body, some would think that it is right to change your mind. Maybe the pain transgender people have to go through, is the fault of our over-stereotyped society. Maybe there wouldn't be any mismatch between body and soul, if we did not have those f*cking stereotypes and if gender was more fluid, so that everyone could cease to think binary and the outer appearance would not be such a horrifying experience for the soul inside and the body would not have to be forced into painful changes.
I just wrote a sociology paper on this, Its still there though, its coming to the point where it will be less the rights and more the social acceptance.
The first time I walked out of my endocrinologists office with a prescription for HRT I was like wow how is he letting me do this and how are these doctors letting freaks like me walk around this office wearing makeup and having facial hair how are they actually letting me do this and that's like the most FUCKEDthing but honestly yeah I have so much internalized transphobia I'm like ugh trying to deal and heal from it
I have the same thoughts about how same sex marriage may become legal sometime in the near future in Japan, where I come from. like when I was in junior high, I didn't think it would happen for another 100 years because it's such a conservative country. but things are changing so quickly and I think the internet has a lot to do with it.
Nah chase it's okay we get you
I think you've keyed into the problem without even knowing it. The community is being accepted for the wrong reasons I guess is a way to put it. More in, people are accepting because they feel like society is forcing to or it's the norm thing to do. They might think if they don't accept trans people then they will be outed & hated. Seriously, South Park is focusing this season on the matter almost. As people has said, this season is one huge dedication to Tumblr but really, even if you don't like or never watched South Park before, see the first episode of season 19. It introduces a character named PC Principal & it kind of squares into the root of the problem I think because the PC people represent what is currently politically correct & if you go against it, it shows the consequences of those actions. Obviously it's South Park so it is heavily over exaggerated but they do it to prove a valid point. Society isn't quite ready to take this step but they were forced to when big things happened like Caitlyn coming out. When something that makes people take a dramatic step one way or another goes forth, people will not stay where they currently are. They'll either jump one way or another in order to take sides & keep with an opinion so they're not outed out. This caused people who don't accept & don't understand to try to stand for that very cause that they don't get which is why this feels weird. Like I said, South Park pretty much said it, far better than how I put it & please do check out the first episode of season 19 if you haven't seen it. It makes references to previous episodes but you don't need to see them to get what's going on.
and remember just because the media accept something - doesn't mean society as a whole does. Its great if the media does as often thats where it starts - and with the age of youtube etc its even more important. I think the younger generations are accepting it - but sadly not the older generations.
That might be true in some specific first world countries but unfortunately not everywhere. So just try enjoying your rights, you happen to be hella lucky dude 🎀
you should make a video with ash hardell
I get what you're saying, I think like that sometimes too. mine I think stems from being very open minded towards every opinion and since I live in deep south bible belt usa, a lot of the opinions i hear are against my own beliefs.
Chase.exe has stopped operating. 😂
I was trying so hard to fit into the genderfluid/nb group and it felt so weird
How do you get that cat wall I need one
Another accurate video!!
With regards to the negative comments you receive; it says nothing whatsoever about you and EVERYTHING about the person commenting. They may as well have a sign over the their head saying, "I'm a fucktard!" I know it's far easier said than done but please try not to take it to heart. I think you're awesome x x x
To address the question of why there are still trans people being murdered, I have a theory. I think you have to look at what sort of individuals are inflicting that violence. It's not like the majority of people look at a trans person and think "I want to hurt/kill that person". Violent individuals might be the ones least receptive to this new information and exposure. Let's say there are three groups of people; Those very receptive to human rights issues who will go out of their way to try and understand and be allies, those in the middle who as they see it more will be like "OK, this is a thing and I've seen it a few times. this is a normal thing then? cool" and those who are very slow to accept the changes in society, perhaps lack empathy, and will be like "No, this is a pile of crap, these people are freaks" until either they are so vastly outnumbered that societal pressure persuades them, or someone important in their social group manages to persuade them. Those causing harm to people who are trans are likely to be in that last group, I think?! So, the time WILL come. The tipping point will come when trans people are being attacked less. I hope and pray it will anyway.
I think I get what you mean, though I wouldn't say it's internalized transfobia at all. Cause it's not a matter of "are you sure we deserve this?", but "are you sure it's happening?": in part because it's so hard to believe it that we need some time to process it before celebrating, of course, but also because this visibility is so two-faced and we, as trans people, can't ignore it at all.
You said it yourself, cis people are accepting us and giving us rights, but at the same time trans women, mostly WoC, die everyday? How can "one part" of the trans community be respected and acknowledged while the "other" is attacked? Any person who knows the community and knows our needs would be mad with such a thing. It's irrational. It's hypocritical. It's fucking disrespectful and it's transphobic. And you have all the reason to worry instead of just celebrate. Worry because, as much as some aspects are changing quickly for the best, there's still a large portion of society that isn't changing at all and it doesn't seem like they will any soon. And that's an issue that cis people don't pay much attention; maybe they don't even know it's there.
I come from a country which prides itself at having the highest mortality rates for transgender people - transgender women have a life expectation of 34 years and about 50% of all lethal attacks against trans people that occurred worldwide in 2014 occurred here*. Meanwhile, our media over here talks about Caitlyn Jenner and minor achievements (like the government respecting social names lol) as if that's all there's to know about trans issues.
And what happens here, these ridiculous double standards, it happens in every other country, only in different proportions. So I'd say that this feeling you have might be the complete contrary of internalized transphobia - it's in fact you worrying about every part of the community, instead of calling it a day when the most privileged part gets their share. It's knowing that transphobia wont go away until the whole community is contemplated.
Hopefully my take on the issue can help you at figuring out what you feel, whether it has to do with what I wrote or not. Have a nice day, pal. ☀️
*Needless to say, these numbers only regard attacks the police acknowledge as transphobic, so it's far from perfect math.
This video is sad to watch in 2024
This is a weird question that has nothing to do with this topic, but is there a reason why the majority of trans guy have an obsession with cat's? I mean cats are rad and all but is there a specific reason? I'm a trans guy and I love cats to, but ??????
Why did it take so long for coloured people to get rights? Why did it take so long for women to get rights? Why is it taking so long for the LGBT community to get rights? I don't know. I believe in equal rights for all irrespective of race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or gender identity.. but I have to admit to sometimes thinking the societies thoughts on these issues and not my own. I believe we're all a little conditioned by the thoughts of society. It's only natural to pick some of it up, consider it and in these instances reject it as not being part of your own thinking.
I feel for the transgender women of colour especially, they don't deserve such hate and struggle.
this is really really laye but aaaahh i get this. i don't think trans people exist. much less do i think it's possible that i am trans, despite the sheer dissatisfaction that comes with being a girl. every time i see a trans guy i believe one day they'll detransition. one day they'll realize they were wrong all along. it sucks. i hate thinking these things because it makes me so incapable of seeing myself through the mess. i can't accept myself because i haven't even fully accepted that trans people exist, and it's making it so hard for me to transitioning, when being a girl makes me literally so unhappy. just a thought.
Damn... this is a fucking MOOD. (and eerily relatable)
how are you now?
Whoa. Wow. WOw. I thought I was the only one who thought like that. Like, I feel completely male and obviously accept it, but like- not in my head? I do, but I'm so used to having to make sure nobody knows so I don't get hurt and so on and so on, but- Like- People are accepting it if they manage to find out? Except like a couple people of course, but- really? The concept used to be so weird and 'ew I'd never date a tranny' 'what are you? boy? girl? You're an 'it'' to 'hey dude, what pronouns you use?'
Whoa
And how people just don't believe it and will just view me as a quote on quote "boy" and not an actual boy, y'know? So I just kinda stopped believing myself and the community too without meaning it, but- wow.
Dear we love you! Nasty people spreading hate are not going to ever change !
Take the positive and ignore the assholes
Live your live as fully as you can and consider yourself lucky to live in one of the most wonderful countries in the world ! Oh Canada!!! that has allow you to become the sweet man you are !
Cheers
Xoxoxox if you ever come for a visit to Ottawa I would like to take you for a drink
:-)
You are great!
its almost like you were comfortable with not being accepted and now you are uncomfortable with being accepted? Is it just getting used to change? Or do you have a desire to be .. I dunno - an outcast?
I only see two types of people in this world: those who like cats, and those who do not like cats.
You are a cat man, so I can forgive you :)
We're valid as fuck.
I think your issue may be that you seem to think visibility = acceptance. In some ways it can, but the most visible members of the trans and LGBT communities (trans women of color) are the ones who face the most violence. You're in disbelief because you're confused as to why visibility does not = acceptance.
ur cool my dude
Well, you've been conditioned to accept the binaries and compulsory heterosexuality and what-gender-related-rules-have-you as cold, hard facts literally your whole life. It's not very strange that it's still ingrained in you. I think that's the truth for everyone, just maybe more or less depending on how aware they are and how much they've worked on themselves to stop thinking that way. That and a bunch of other stuff due to this shock-like level of visibility hitting all at once, of course it's gonna be really, really confusing. And that's my five cents.
You're so cute
Hmm, I just think that it’s a wake-up call to reflect if being trans is really a thing. Your brain wants you to gain common sense.
I get you. 100 %.
You are so right! The comments on yt and sometimes on fb/twitter are the worst things ever. When I see them, I just get into this shock. It's almost scary.
Wow I really like your shirt
Being transferred in northern Minnesota is like being the black sheep that nobody wants to admit they have. I love to share your thoughts with my support group. I am not good at "interneting" (haha) but I love the subjects you touch on and I am very happy to have found your channel. HUGS Keep up the good work so us transfer stuck in the 1980's can get updated!!! HUGS
Transgender, stupid autocorrect!
Wow, it’s 2023, I’m so resonated with you and what you say.
Things feels the same for me even tho there are role models.. it’s hard to connect to that state of “yes, I’m trans”
Thank you for your voice.
I have been raised in a religious home for my whole life and I've always been taught things like being gay or trans are wrong and I didn't even know what that meant until I got older and started thinking for myself. When I was 14 turning 15 I realized and accepted the fact I was trans. At times I do have transphobic thoughts and I never knew why, but this video kind of explains my whole thought process
Don't worry about the haters. I love you and watch every video I can find that you make! ~
I think the "transwomen of color are the most discriminated against"-part has a lot to do with societal structures and cultures. I feel horribly racist and sexist when saying this but let's face it, the world is what it is and it's not pretty: In societal structure the king pin is a white cis- gendered male, at the bottom is the non-white woman, pressumable the non-white trans-woman because of the "trans people are not real people" way of thinking.
I also think trans-women at large are more affected because of the assumed hierarchy of men being superior to women. If someone with this belief (who doesn't believe that trans is a real thing) sees someone who wants to go from their assigned sex male to becoming female, they see that as a trade-down. And sadly since pride and honor are tightly tied into masculinity in many cultures it can probably be seen as an insult/rejection when somegone goes from male to female. I can even stretch to the imagine that when someone with this view sees a transwoman it makes them feel/think "You have rejected your right to manhood and you are not a woman, therefore you are not a human being and you don't deserve to live as you may be a bad influence upon others".
(I just want to take a break here and say that I'm not in any way trying to defend this kind of thinking. I condemn it. I'm simply trying to map out the reasons).
And on top of that, and I really don't mean to sound racist, but the acceptance of trans people and feminism seems to have it's stronghold in countries where the majority of the population are white. So pressumable the killings of non-white trans-women is happening in countries/societies that have a lesser view of both women and trans people at large.
Countries and cultures that center more around religion also seem to be affected this way. I can see why someone of strong belief (regardless of their religion) may see it as an insult/defiance to their god when someone goes from one gender to another, as that would be to defy how they were "made" by their god. With that said, I'm not religious but I do understand that there are plenty of religious trans people out there, so please don't be insulted by this kind of reasoning.
Once again, just my analyzis (I do not agree with this way of thinking!), I mean no harm in writing this, it's merely posted as a point for discussion.
During high school, my close friend called me the most "homophobic homosexual" because of my un-PCness, dark humour and general self-hate.
Now trans, the joke continues by me being the most "transphobic transexual" ...
Good to know not a completely isolated feeling.
same here bro :(
I have the same shirt!!
Get help.....
Thanks for having CC available on this! But I understand where you're coming from. I especially understand the having to read the comments thing...Also about the sudden acceptance thing...I came out to my family this year and the reactions were crazy...just acceptance and no problems and it was almost a little unsettling... it was so sudden! people went from hating trans people to just nonchalantly accepting it nowadays. Thank you for sharing...this isn't something that a lot of people would be willing to talk about