Thanks for watching! For anyone who isn't familiar with the INFJ personality type or the Myers-Briggs type indicator, watch this video - th-cam.com/video/Stg7XGgkq94/w-d-xo.html
Too bad your introduction and your pinned comment never outlined the acronym. Therefore your finale “watch this video” is worthless to someone who is seeking a genuine explanation. Thumbs down
@@Lancelot_JagoIt sounds like you're unfamiliar with the Meyers-Briggs test as a whole. It breaks things down into four aspects of personality type. Interaction with the world: Introvert and Extrovert. Absorbtion of Information: iNtuitive and Sensor. Decision making: Feeler and Thinker. Organization: Judger and Perceiver. There are sixteen of these personality types, and one of them is Introvert iNtuitive Feeler Judger. There's the acronym for the rarest personality type of the sixteen. There is a fifth aspect that isn't really discussed in these types of videos that's put after the personality type. Turbulant or Assertive. So, there are INFJ-T and INFJ-A type people. It seems to me that videos like this are designed for people already familiar with the Meyers-Briggs classifications in some way, but essentially, it's more than can be put in a single comment to give an informed comment, so he linked to a twelve minute video in which defines the acronym in the first few seconds of the runtime for people who aren't familiar with the classification. I hope this helps.
A psychiatrist once told me I had a "rich inner life" and I agree with that assessment. I am at my best when I'm alone. Being around others depletes me.
Just because I don't accept someone's BS and don't talk BS myself I'm considered intense by many people? Yes, you're right. Authenticity is viewed as intensity. I don't understand why it's INFJs who are called odd. Why being deep, sincere and empathetic is odd? (it's not the question to you, I just don't get this world :))
Yeah, same. I don’t understand why everyone at work likes this girl who shit talks LITERALLY everyone but is nice to their faces. I’m honest with people (maybe a little blunt) but highly empathetic and i’m basically ignored. So weird. I hate people who I know are being insincere towards me. It makes my skin crawl and I don’t want to be around that person. Yet so many people are fine with / prefer it. You’d think human instinct would reward being honest and upfront. Yet, it literally rewards dishonesty / insincerity.
I am INFJ but now 85 I am no longer secretive of my feelings,somewhere around 70 I started to express who I am at the deepest levels to anyone I come across. It is as if I am Impervious to what they think of me. I have found an inner strength and assertiveness I didn’t know I had.
Thank you for sharing that, Monique! I just celebrated my 70th and am learning to speak candidly about my gifts as a psychic. It’s been liberating and I’m finding that generally, most people are highly interested. 🔮🔮🔮
I found that in my early thirties. But I have neither the interest or the energy to express myself to everyone. But I did find the confidence of not caring what others think of me. My family being exempt from that of course. But I still avoid drama like the plague and happy on my little farm surrounded by my animals.
I'm turning 67 and finally feeling like I don't have to apologize for not wanting to hang out and engage in small talk. I'm ok now with expressing my own authenticity.
Yes, it is the same for me. I am 81 and my true inner self "came out" in old age. Impervious is a good word for how it is. Even as my body becomes more fragile, I feel I am just now hitting my stride in the art of living. I think old age is a wonderful stage of life for many INFJs.
My entire 61 yrs of life as an INFJ & have always been fiercely independent, autonomous, friendly to most yet have only 1 or 2 close friends...always felt 'odd' & now understand why! I LOVE being INFJ & am so glad to have a better understanding of self thru the MBTI personality test. This video is so spot on for me!
I relate 100% - I'm about the same age, have a couple of close, life-long friends and apparently strike others as "odd" if they don't know me (as well as feeling like an outsider myself). MBTI can feel validating.
I am the same age and I have zero close friends. People who wanted to be closer to me are often offended by how I slowly build a friendship. I just can't be close friends with someone overnight. In all my years I've never had a true close friend. I've had friends, but those friendships never last for many years and they are never very close. There is always a wall between us and I know it was frustrating for them. One person told me recently that I have little capacity for love and caring. This is untrue, but it often seems that way to others.
i am a 22 years of male INFJ. Nowadays i am finding extreamly hard to blend in between normal peoples. I took the quoat "Be yourself" too personally and when i be myself and talk with people, they look at me as if i am speaking a language they never heard of. I am in a state where i have to now understand this *"Society-Game"* . People are very delusional. Playing games with is other and they love playing "love & hate" game in the most dramatic way possible. I always spoke a truth in a most straight way possible when people say "be honest", then they look at my face saying why u said that, as if they regrate asking me that. Life be complete mess now. Oh yea, empty bench in the park is just the right place to sit and really let lose everything and take a deep breath.... that's the time when i leave earth for a brief moment. I would love to hear your words, how things went for you.
Everything I thought about writing in this comment section has already been written by my INFJ brothers and sisters. It's comforting to know that there are others like me...
I'm 73 and have no friends, just acquaintances. Psychics can't read me either. But I have a lovely time on TH-cam daily. I've had some lovely conversations with strangers many times. Maybe INFJ's recognize each other? And we quickly unload with someone we will never see again? Being alone does not mean you are lonely. Few understand this.
I am 72. From my early age I only ever had 1 close friend. I hate idle talk. And when I am accosted I let them know in no uncertain terms how idiotic they are. Revel in your own thoughts😊
It's crazy how this video describes me. I don't have friends and before I took a personality test I only thought I was weird. I felt I never fitted with the rest of the people, and I'm a very honest but respectful person. And it's true, I'm 100 percent happier being by myself than spending my valuable time with superficial people.
I had never heard of INFJs until about a month ago, when I did, all of a sudden everything in my life made sense and I have found it very helpful, I just wish that I knew about it when I was young.
Same as me. I knew I was different at a very young age. I was different from my family and they made sure to let me know it. And they hated me for it. I have never fit in with family members and school and work. I have social anxiety and don't interact with people unless they interact with me. Otherwise I just keep to myself.
Being an INFJ, I am always misunderstood, that I am not a team player, stubborn, anti-social, OCD, etc...I don't sugarcoat if I say something and they think that I am mean. But I really don't care! They just don't know me. I have 3 best friends since we were 12 years old and they love me for who I am, even now that we're in our early 60's. They think that I am funny, straight forward, caring, dependable and independent.
Hi, 66yo f infj here. Please learn to say your truth but using gentler language. Most people think you are scary and unpredictable until I learned this skill, then they were ok with me.😂
I am an INFJ and so is my wife, when I first met her, I was immediately attracted to her, because she was fascinated by the world around her and we found ourselves breaking out from our social group into our own focused discussions when ever we met. I recall after we had drifted away into one of these focused discussion at a dinner party, her then husband said privately "I apologise for my wife, she would be beautiful if she did not have a f-ing opinion about everything", I so wanted to punch him in the face, because I thought that this was the most beautiful thing of this beautiful lady.
I love this story, thanks for posting it. I am an INFJ and I truly love to be around other INFJs- no time wasted being loud and saying nothing-instead good solid conversation or sitting in quiet. I wonder if other types enjoy being around their own type as much as INFJs do.
I’m 81 years young and have had 3 close girlfriends, 2 of whom are deceased. My husband was my very best friend. From my experience, your analysis is spot on.
As a dude, INFP and INFJ are the 2 that I bounce between. Almost 40, and this describes me quite well. Little patience for drama, and sensitive about authentic people is 100% accurate and has led to only a few people in my life that I can relate to. I hate what social media has done to connecting with others. ZERO deep, meaningful interactions.
Welcome to the club fellow INFJ’ers… we often find ourselves on the outside looking in when we’re among 3 or more people. We do best in one-on-one interactions and only have a handful (the most) number of close friendships while the rest remain in the periphery as acquaintances. Most of us are late bloomers and remain young at heart. At 62 looking back, I’ve suffered not knowing why I’ve always felt like the odd man (woman in my case) out. Since taking the Myers Briggs personality test 8 years ago, the dark veil was lifted and suffer no more from being “special”. Proud to be a part of the 2%tile, tho not necessarily blurting it out loud.
I'm now 90 and am an INFJ. Can relate to all the comments. I've moved around Canada quite a bit, exploring and doing new things. In all those years the most real friends I've ever had at one time was two.
I've always felt out of step with everyone else, I hate drama and avoid crowds (because usually drama comes from crowds) and I have only a very few people I truly call friends. I'm a writer and value my solitude. Now I know who I am! Thank you.☺️
@@Sandra-wj4on You'll find many of our greatest wordsmiths were/are INFJ. As writers, we have a way with words. Or, perhaps it's more accurate to say; words have a way with us. I say this because the creative process of writing is magical for me. When I'm in a flow, it's like a trance. It's as if the words are waiting for me to be used. As I often do, I tried to find the right words to describe my creative process in its simplest terms. Eventually, I found them. With an uncluttered mind, clear of thought, I speak from the heart, and allow my soul to find the appropriate words on my behalf. Peace. DD. ☮
Sandra, that defines me, too. I also *hate* drama and stay far away from crowds. Airports are torture for me. And yes, I'm a writer too. Working on my 11th book now. I'm so grateful to find this video (and these comments)!
@@rosethornil That is awesome! I don't have as many books, but I'm going to try and catch up with you! (LOL!) Stay strong and keep writing, my friend! BYW, what are some of your titles?
Fiercely independent and enjoy solitude: I have been electric mobility dependent due to MS for 16 years. I rely on a hospital bed as well. My legs and left arm/hand are useless. But, I still live alone in a glorified shack on 36 acres in an Arkansas national forest and love it! A part-time aide brings me groceries and does chores 5 hours each week. There are 6 local people who I trust with my life and it took 18 years to find them. I am truly fortunate.
My Mom was an INFJ who also had depression as she grew older. She had few friends. But in many ways I saw that what helped her was taking her to art museums, new places, going to plays and spend days afterwards talking about what we saw/did. I was perceptive enough to help my Mom, but I wish I had known about Myers-Briggs while she was a live. I'm an ENT/FJ.
I’m a new mom and an INFJ… I’m pregnant with my second child and very nervous because as much as I LOVE my baby and miss her when she’s sleeping, I feel my introverted side being burnt out. I will take your learned lessons to heart and make sure I do these relaxing tasks with my kids!
I only took the Myers-Briggs test a few months ago and found out I am an INFJ , but I now understand why I have felt the way I do for my whole life, like I have always been on the outside looking in ( I'm 57) . I now have a better understanding of why I act the way I do and it has giving me a true inner peace . I only have had 2 very close friends and 1 was my husband but I lost him in 2020 , my other friend has been my rock and really help me deal with his lost she means the world to me and I love her like a sister . Everything said in this video is me to a Tee . I have been called WEIRD my whole life but now I'm okay with that . Years ago my hubby bought me a pin that said " WEIRD IS A BY PRODUTS OF AWESOME " to make me feel better I think now I will wear it as a badge of honor 😁.
Oh, what a gift as an INFJ to have a spouse who is also a best friend! I sometimes think that I'll never find that. I'm 54. I'm truly sorry for your loss!
Once I tested as an INFJ it started to make sense the things people have said to me "You are too intense"....An inexperienced manager said to me "You are different. I don't know what to do with you" (I was doing my job just fine). My ex-husband thought I was anti-social because I didn't want a ton of people around me all the time just gossiping about nonsense. And people seem to think I don't like FUN. They will come to me if they have a problem or something serious is going down, but when there is going to be fun, they invite their 'fun' friends and leave me. I still enjoy some fun!
I am definitely an INFJ and this video describes me to a T, 100% My mother said that I was a loner and the whole family was always concerned about me. I felt defective, not fully understanding myself most of my adult life until I finally discovered my true personality type. I have since accepted myself and would never want to change who I am.
@@roslynmac INFP and INFJ share lots of common grounds. In fact it has been said that an INFP may mature into an INFJ. Thanks to maturity and growing courage, the INFP becomes more discerning and vocal, therefore will speak the truth to a situation out of genuine concern. No more being content with feeling and observing in the quiet. Engaging with the inner circle of significant others.
I was different and kept to myself as a teenager and my family hated me for it. People at school thought I was strange because I was quiet and kept to myself. In high school I only knew two people.
I'm thinking my nibling is in the same boat. My sister is constantly concerned about her not having friends (my sister is much more E who had a large group of friends that she hung out with in high school). I suspect that my nibling is more like myself (with a much smaller circle), but she hasn't found the core friendships in a few trusted people that she feels she can relate to.
INFJs tend to be highly selective when it comes to choosing friends, and they often have only a small handful of people in their inner circle that they truly trust and connect with. Another reason is that INFJs are introspective by nature and often spend a lot of time alone exploring their thoughts and feelings, which can make it difficult for them to socialize in a typical way. And finally, INFJs can be quite sensitive and empathetic, which sometimes makes them too forgiving or accommodating towards people who don't truly deserve their friendship.
I'm an INFJ married to another INFJ. He's more of an INFJ than I am. Our marriage is the most soulful, pure yet challenging experience in life. We're both sensitive, deep thinkers and intense. Authenticity is 100% the priority for both of us in every area of life.
As an INFJ, I know lot of people but only have one friend. I haven't had a date or company at all since my wife sent me away in 2016. I prefer to stay alone in my apt. I don't go out. No clubs. No bars. No restaurants. Just the grocery store and gas station. I have 3 cats who show me love and gladly accept mine. It's all I need. All I want.
Jack--we are almost living the same life! The only difference is I have a small part-time job--just 3 days a week, 6 hour shift only--and I basically work by myself when there. So it's the PT job, the grocery store and gas station every couple of weeks, and library once a month. Other than that--home all the time. No going out for entertainment, no restaurants, etc. It's always been me and my 2 cats--who are very loving, and the best companions ever. I talk to them, and they talk back to me. Like you--it's all I have ever needed, and all I want ♥
@@jenna2431 I work part time as a grocery cashier. It is the only socializing I get and I told my doctor that it was unhealthy to have no social interaction so that's why I took the job. It is part time though because I couldn't stand the people more than that! It's all in the dosage! I am 65.
Spot on! I have tried to figure out why I don’t have friends, and now I get it. The whole drama thing and inauthentic superficial blather is just too much for me. So, after 60+ years I’m satisfied to have my family as my friend group because at least most of them “get” me.
Really? I am 60+ too and I have always felt that the people who understand me the least are my family, both close and extended. I feel very alone with them. But I have found several good friends over the years that I really value, so I am satisfied with that.
True! I am 53 years old and I have no friends at all. I have searched all my life for someone I could truly trust, have had some shortlived 'friendships', but they always stabbed me in the back. Better to be alone I think. Less disappointment that way.
@@nessus47 What you consider being "stabbed in the back" might be this: Our personality makes us too quick to offer opinions, where none are sought. Because we are constantly thinking and formulating explanations for the world, we can be insufferable to those who live on a more surface plane (which is fine as well). Surface people have more fun because they DGAF and have little time for people like us. You weren't stabbed in the back. Your actions made people want to retaliate. I couldn't even make a list of all the friends I have alienate in my life - it wasn't them, it was me.
@@Automedon2 wow this is the first comment here , among thousands, that displays some ability and willingness to be self-critical and objective. I'm worried that many of us are a little insecure and possibly mildly narcissistic.
@@stopper90004 I quit drinking 30 years ago, with the help of Alcoholics anonymous: much in their book applies to many of us if we are honest with ourselves and step back from the victimhood for a bit "Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so"
I don’t know if anyone else has encountered this, but I have on several occasions made acquaintances with more extroverted people whose whole lives revolve around socialising. These people will notice I spend a lot of time alone and assume I must be lonely and in need of saving. Then they invite me to things, which I usually accept because I feel rude not to (plus, I’ve been made to feel weird for preferring my own company, which makes me feel like I should try to be more social), only to have those same people start treating me like I’m some kind of burden and resenting me. It’s very annoying due to the fact I was happy just being by myself and doing my own thing. I’m happy you invited me but I really wouldn’t have cared if you didn’t. Why do extroverted people always make introverts feel weird for wanting to spend time alone? Just because you can’t cope with being alone doesn’t mean you have to save me from my self-imposed solitude. This has happened to me on multiple occasions and it makes me even less interested in trying to socialise.
I have absolutely experienced this. One particular extroverted friend---never could conceive of the notion that being alone--does NOT mean lonely. I told him this so many times--that I need, and love my solitude. He always had to be in the thick of people, big-time socializer, who couldn't be alone. Strange how people can't accept that people can feel differently than they do.
'Why'? Partly because many extroverts are shallow, assume everyone is like them, assume others need the stimulation they do and are often terribly lonely themselves...but just don't know it.
I cried watching and listening to this. I’ve always questioned my personality. Never understood why I am like this. Always thought I was the only one like this. Thanks for making me understand
What you say resonates deep! I always knew, even as a child, that I was so different & like you, thought I was the only one like this! I love that I've found others who get me, even though I haven't met peeps responding to being INFJ, it is comforting to know I have a tribe & I'm not totally solitary! Though, I do enjoy my solitude!
True. There's a few things I've learned from being an INFJ for over half a decade. I let people know up front that I'm the one that asks the awkward questions 😜. When I socialize I learn 3 topics to discuss. Gossip is sooo boring. Dinner parties are a good thing to have. The burden of conversation is on the guests, not me. The best way to make friends is to be one. It will become obvious who are users and who are true friends. Set boundaries. Closer friends have fewer boundaries. INFJs tend to have a good work ethic so a job with self direction is fairly easy to find. Stay spicy my friend 😘
That was crazy. Me to a T. At 65 I am exhausted from a lifetime of trying to fit in and understand other people. The last few years I have become almost a complete hermit - and I've never felt more myself in my life. The deep depression I have suffered all my life is almost completely gone.
I’ve heard that introverts draw energy from solitude. This has helped me explain my need for “down time.” I have always felt on the outside looking in: apart and different. I appreciate this video!
Spending another evening alone tonight and wondering if I should encourage myself to socialize more. Yet I find most people draining - I have to be in the mood to be around other people. Additionally, I find most people too shallow and/or self-centered to connect with - and therefore they're draining to me. I'm sure many here in the comments can relate!
It has always aggravated me how my other friends tried to "change" me, tell me to get out more, be more outgoing....they don't understand...this is who I am...I need my alone time, crowds are stressful
From early childhood, my relationship with other people has ever been curiously different. The litany of peculiar interactions is seemingly endless, and spins out for decades. Oddly, I actually love other people. When I give, I do so from the heart. I do not need recognition for having helped when I see a need. Doing things to assist, when needed, is just the good thing to do. We understand the frailty in humanity because our cognitive function is "turned on its head" for others. But don't lie to me.
We INFJs are the "crème de la crème," of personality types! This video really improved my day alot! Thanks friend! Strength & solidarity to my fellow INFJs!👍🤟👏💜🌍
@@zaram131 Don’t be down on yourself..there’s NOTHING wrong with you! You are unique and totally cool because of it!!! It’s other people’s lack of understanding that makes you feel down. Now you can understand yourself and be happy you aren’t a lost soul trying desperately to be a player. Embrace your type and see these others for how shallow and superficial they really are! I thank god I’m not one of “them”!
I was going to ask if other INFJs found books, music, and art to be really meaningful aspects of their 'social life'. I do consider books to be my friends as well. The level of emotional intimacy someone puts on the page is rare in person to person interactions. Have you read The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco? I loved the idea of a library being the space where long dead people converse through books across the centuries.
INFJ ALL DA WAY💘😇😇🥀🥰🌄🥰💋🤗🐾 MYSTERIOUS, 🦁 🐯 😘 GREAT LOVER'S FRIEND'S CRUSHES, GIFTED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT, 🦁🐾🦁🐾🦁😎PERHAPS YOU ARE ENTERTAINING ANGELS 😇????💥😎💌❤️💯💯🎼🎶🎧🙏🙏🙏🙏💖💖🔥🔥🔥🔥
I took the personality test months ago, and I found out I am an INFJ. True! I have very few friends. I find it difficult to trust. I love being alone. I don't like to argue. I distance myself from negative things/people/situations. I am very observant. I can easily sense whether a friend/office mate/family member is in a good mood or not. It's just so ironic that me being an INFJ, work as a Team Lead handling 13 team members. I have no choice but to learn to associate, interact and collaborate with different types of personalities.
I once had a management job and the senior manager had her four managers do the Myer-Briggs test so she would know what personality type we were. She was very controlling and to my mind this was self-serving. As complex as people are and as varied their life experiences I don't think any one can or imagine to put people into neat little personality boxes. When I took the test I purposely answered the questions opposite of my actual personality. I think the personality type labeled INFJ merely describes a person who is smart, perceptive, sincere, honest, unsuperficial, and who distrusts most people learned from experience. The reason it is so rare is because most people choose to not possess or cultivate any of these positive traits.
The fact that I have this personality became very clear when my husband and I left the US and moved to Costa Rica. We did not know anyone and had been with friends we knew for 30 years back in the states. It came as a shock when I began to try to make friends of how difficult it was. I had 2 friends in the states who knew me inside and out. Here I found people to be so shallow. Small talk was excruciating and facebook was so important. I can say I have found 1 good friend here. That is all I need.
I guess that your friends (and husband) are, or similar to INFJs, so you got used to proper conversation and debate, and came to assume that most people are capable of the same, it's surprising how few people have much worthwhile to say.
I am an INJF and have become extremely solitary in my life after my retirement, except for my husband. I have a daughter living 1,500 miles away, and we communicate 4 or 5 times a year, which is OK. I don't need to be on top of her life like some parents. I have always been independent with few or no friends. I used to feel lonely and misunderstood. Then I met a woman who became a very good friend. A mutual acquaintance told me before I met this woman that we would be good friends...and we were. She was 12 years younger than me, but it felt like we had known each other our entire lives. Sadly, she died from brain cancer in her 50's. Since then, A few people have wanted to be close friends, but I find that what they are really looking for is someone to dump their drama on. They aren't aware of this, but I have learned they are not really interested in an equal friendship. I find myself depleted after spending more than 30 minutes in their company. So I am happy simply spending time at home enjoying my own schedule, doing things that keep me learning and motivated, while chasing a naughty, adorable puppy.
You did a great job of summing us INFJ's up! One sentence that stood out to me was 'would rather be alone than with someone they don't like'.... I think we can be a lonely bunch, as we just don't click with 99.9% of people, but we really want to click with somebody!
I always wondered why I was so "different". I have always preferred my solitude yet enjoy some people.. I'm very selective. Which makes me short on friends. Your list describes me perfectly. Thank you for the insight
I had a very abusive childhood. Like many others self identity and the trauma become so intertwined. I was not sure what is from the abuse and what is part of a stable personality. I now know I am INFJ all the way. Now I am able to recognize how this helped me survive.
I relate to this video 100 percent. It reminds me of my father who isn't an INFJ. He lectures me about all the friends he has and he wonders why I don't have any friends. I do have friends. I just don't give lists of all my friends to others. People who brag about the number of friends they have bore me to tears.
I have many friends but I’m not sure they consider me a friend or an acquaintance but it doesn’t matter in the end because I can enjoy people without reciprocation.
As an INFJ, I am a loner most of the time. So many people think I am weird because I am so quiet all the time. When I was in the military, it was a struggle for me.
I’m a INFJ and was able to be more so, as I was an only child after my parents 25 years of marriage. On a farm, surrounded by adults I was able to truly be me. My mother was wonderful and supportive how ever I was the odd duck at school and with relatives. Certainly makes us targets for bullying as people can sense that we are different on some undefinable level. I have had many people try to create drama for my life, surely I can’t be so calm and contented with my life, on my own. When people complain about things going on in the world, I ask “what can you do to fix that?” They don’t want to hear that at all. We are too honest and see too clearly.
Everything on this video describes me 100% I’m considered aloof many times people say I’m boring and I spend a lot of time alone this personality is terrible when you have children because many times you are not there for them. Many times just being around others bothers me so much that I leave the event. Thank you so much for for making this video I will share it with those I love
This is so accurate... Although I enjoy my own company a lot as an INFJ, it gets lonely as it's hard to find true friends that you can genuinely connect and share your experiences with.
Omg I can relate to pretty much all this video, so yes guess I am one myself! 😁 But as Richard Stevens (another Poster in here) said....it can be a bit of a curse when you dont meet like-minded persons. Even with my mates, I can feel ....odd/judged/unpopular....I feel as if everyone around me is normal and I'm not! Lol! But perhaps I, and we, should view it as a 'gifted' personality type because it's few and far between. It's something beautiful and natural, and it's wrong to fight against it. So hello to all you others the same!!! 😎❤️
Being alone is something most people are afraid of, because society disconnects them from who they really are since their young age, and being alone would mean having to reconnect to who you really are because there would not be anything left to distract you from your own self, and that process is really scary for a lot of people, since it involves facing your biggest demons
Well said and so true. I am lonely at a gathering of such people but not when by myself and tuned to God and Nature and my inner being. And I think we make the disconnected people uncomfortable because we disrupt their artificial matrix.
Yes, it is! I had not heard of this, and just clicked on the video out of curiosity, because I have a difficult time socializing. It was both fascinating and unnerving to watch, and realize that they were describing me and my quirks. I have just figured I was weird my entire life. It's also nice to find that I am not alone in my preference to be alone. It's weirdly comforting..🤔
It's interesting that I scored INFJ every single time I've taken the test in my twenties and '30s but recently I scored an INTP. I can think of numerous reasons for that. I kind of get the sense that an INTP is kind of like a more matured version of an INFJ. It makes sense because as you age wisdom comes into play and hopefully anyways you become less volatile. Less dominated by feelings. In any case this was a fantastic presentation about the TRUE INFJ. It has helped me gravely and so to have other videos on the topic. It helped me to feel a whole lot less bad about my loneliness because I am lonely in my "solitude." Even though I prefer it. Lol what a paradox. I even learned to work remotely because the workplace was just too intense and it would be sensory overload. Too many problems related to intuitive sensory . The games co-workers play, The manipulations, the deceit or what I perceive as deceit because sometimes people do things thinking they're doing something good but that's a big mistake with an INFJ. But the video has help 8:02 ed me to feel less like a weirdo. I often think It is a blessing and a curse to be an INFJ. I wouldn't change it though.
Yes, and INFJ's are NOT easy to get along with, way too intense for me. I have many friends who have integrity and honesty and are NOT intense. INFJ's don't roll with it, and are NOT flexible and become discombobulated when plans change. Difficult for me. I guess different personalities can mesh with them. I can't!
Hello Friend, I just realized I am an INFJ!! For years, I struggled to understand why I feel so out of place or alien in society? Honestly, I have all the personality traits you talked about in this video. You just gave me the key to understand myself in an entire new way. Thank you for this video!!
I can spend a lot time by myself and must of the time ,I can't wait to find at least few minutes for me, connecting with my inner world , and it does feel an amazing experience
Accurate. I have a few select friends, and I feel like finding a partner I can trust is nearly impossible. Too many people seem very superficial to me. I don’t feel *special* but I do feel different. This is very good most of the time, but some of the time it isn’t.
I have only one best friend. I noticed I tend to get bored during small talk or conversations that include gossiping or talking about mundane things...and honestly I feel guilty. I feel as if I come across as feeling like "I'm better than others", which is not the case. I engage in small talk and go out of my way to make others feel heard (even if the topic doesn't really interest me). What I also found is that, if people don't give me a similiar "treatment" that they're engaged in what I'm saying, I automatically think they hate me and that I'm boring them, so I just shut myself out of tthe relationships alltogether.
I’m an INFJ and make friends fairly easily because I’m friendly and take a genuine interest in people, however I have very few people in my life I would consider a close or true friend.. and out of those close friends… I really don’t know whom I would consider my actual best friend.. I have a couple “best friends” but not in the way I wish I actually could have a best friend. I’m grateful for them nonetheless, but I’m really not sure I have an actual best friend… people come and go and I’ve learned to be content in my own company.. this video is very spot on.
This list describes me perfectly. I have a small group of friends who are genuine and accept me as I am. I am all about quality. I have a low tolerance for BS, liars, and superficiality. I do prefer to be on my own though I have a small core of like-minded friends with whom I enjoy spending time, outside my home. My home is my haven and I prefer to it keep that way. 🌹🕊🌹🕊🌹
Loved this. So nice to be validated. I have often had conflicts at work with supervisors because of "my attitude" which is really me just actually caring about the quality of work I'm doing. I had to move to a state where my job is Union protected because managers just think I should "Smile more". Seriously 2 jobs said this and I work in an ER. If you have a stroke do you want someone to help you efficiently or just give you a silly grin? I'm empathetic and care. None of my patients have complained. They know I'm authentic and no BS.
I too am an INFJ, and it took me quite awhile to get to, "I don't care what people think of me." I'm now 66 close to being 67, and I'm the happiest I've been in my entire life. Also, almost zero close friends. The point about trusting is huge for me. Thank you for reading my post in its entirety.
I discovered I was INFJ (quite by accident) 5 years ago. At the time, it was the most profound realisation of my life. That is to say, while the realisation was shocking, it was not surprising. In essence, it made total sense. While it didn't tell me anything I already knew, it did attest it. This appears to be common when a person discovers their identity as an INFJ. No doubt, our very nature means we would be aware of our rareness anyway. Discovering I was INFJ didn't tell me WHO I was, it told me WHY I was. So, despite the profound realisation of self, the impact didn't change me, simply because I was still the same. It all made sense. Ultimately, if you need to ask yourself if you're an INFJ, most likely you're not one. I believe you either know in your gut (a typical INFJ trait), or you don't. In fact, the first clip I watched describing was beyond accurate and felt like it was made solely to describe me. When I asked my partner and best friend to watch the clips without telling them what it was about, they both came to same conclusion.
Old woman here who is this personality. Hard lesson learned too late is dont be too comfortable with it. Will come a time when all your immediate family has passed & you will get longterm sick & need help. If you don't have alot $ for home health care, you will be in trouble. Really work on coming out of your comfort zone & develop an expansive network of friends - the younger the better. Be a good neighbor, learn to trust. Even if you get burned by others, move on & keep reaching out.
Thank you for posting this affirming video. Very accurate. I've always felt and was told that I am very odd/different from other people. I've only found out I was an INFJ-Assertive later in life. The problem I have with others is that I am friendly with everyone so many think that I am "friends" with them. It takes me some time to consider others as friends as I feel trust has to be earned over time because I want quality friendships that are a blessing to them as well as me. And, even though I tell others this, I unintentionally hurt them. What I have found is that those that will be quality friends will wait and be patient with me. If they aren't, they are usually toxic in some way or want something from me so I see this as a red flag instead of accommodating them.
So accurate it's weird. I once lost a job opportunity that I REALLY wanted because "you don't seem to have many friends, and it's important in our consulting team to be social."
I thought there was something so wrong with me, until I took this test. Now I get me. That is just great to be me. The need for solitude created allsorts of problems in the past. No more amen!😋
Can relate to a lot of this except the over-emphasis on independence and not wanting to be around people much and hiding myself. I am pretty open, authentic, and very intense! That does cause me to spend a lot of time alone. Definitely dislike conflict, need time to regroup, don't like small talk, have high empathy, can read people to a level of scary at times. I am definitely well suited to my career as a marriage and family therapist!
I didn't know I was INFJ before taking MBTI test in 2017, I took more than 6 times, and the results are always the same, INFJ. I always think I was weird never fitted in any groups of friends. I was devastating trying to fit in, but now having 0 friends makes me even happier, peaceful. I'm so grateful being me, having my own company. This video describes how am I exactly, thanks a lot!
I’m an iNFJ and married an INFJ. It was the most beautiful friendship and marriage of our lives. Never married again. We loved people and adventures and not self centered as one could suppose.
OMG, and all my life I thought I was just weird, like how everyone around me said I was. And here I just turned out to be extraordinary personality !!! Nice to know.
Thank you for posting this video! I struggled for most of my life to understand who I am, and now I have a label and a better understanding of my personality. And I feel vindicated knowing that this is a real personality type and my quirks or totally normal. I appreciate the work and detail you gave for this video. I hope others can see this and gain understanding about themselves and others with this personality that have struggled like I have. Well done!
Perfect description of me. It is really difficult to find true and honest people you can really trust. Sometimes it bothers me, but then again, I am quite content being on my own.
As an INFJ-A this decribes me to a T. The MyersBriggs system has finally revealed so much to me that has led to understanding myself, my life and how others relate to me. Maturing as an INFJ-A has been a revelation and an adventure. Being different to the mainstream presents many challenges yet if given a choice I would choose who I am over fitting in any day. Much love to every INFJ.
Finding out about INFJs (about a month ago) has been a revelation to me, now everything makes sense. I think in the past it was easier for people to be different, and individual, but now everyone has to fit into the modern norm, sharing the same views and opinions as what is currently popular, no matter how it fits in with facts.
lol. I never really have "fit in" either. My head is in a different place than most people. I tend toward intellectual, learning things. I found out my mtDNA is from around the world & laughed. I have always been more interested in the wider world than in a small locations. I like ethnic & bohemian, long before it became a "thing."
Wow! Totally me! Didn't know there was a name for it. I'll add that even though we are very good at reading people, on the rare occasion that we misread someone we care about it can be devastating. I suffer from depression and anxiety and recently had my heart broken by a woman I was head over heels for. I really misread her feelings for me and it triggered suicidal ideations for me.
This pretty much describes me. As for friendships,I have a multitude of acquaintances, but only a very few I can truly call friend. I like it that way.
I’m def all of this and fine with it! I wish my sister understood and stop pushing me to have friends. Funny thing is, her and her husband never take a vacation w/o a whole group of friends yet my sister complains about all those people making her nuts the entire trip.
I learned from a very young age how to assimilate. It’s unnatural and can be very exhausting, but it’s been helpful for superficial social situations. My most significant job was a struggle not because the work was complicated (I thrive with solo work and enjoy a full workload), but due to low-grade conflict with my supervisor because I did’t fit her idea of work culture. I’d prefer to be in my office steadfastly on task instead of frequent breaks to coworkers offices and communal areas to socialize & gossip. I was even reprimanded once for being too productive because it made my coworker look bad. Seriously. I’m being paid to work, not be part of a toxic work culture… On my time, I thrive with creative pursuits. At times INFJ-T can be lonely, but I do genuinely care for the betterment of others. Well, others that aren’t malignant narcissists!
In my first occupation I was a mechanic, I quickly found out that if the machines broke down and I was busy all day, the day would pass really quick, if all the machines went well the day dragged on and on, I used this in my next job to stay busy to make the day go quicker, but I to was told to slow down by my manager....
Funny how we can be cameleons, isn't it? I have been told that I am personable, and sociable, but I know it's just because I learned those traits so that life can go smoother. I'm semi retired - working just 3 days a week. The other 4, I rarely see anyone or go anywhere and that's the real me.
Thank you for this. Retired from teaching going on 2 years. It was the ultimate drama stage, constantly engaged with phony personalities among students, other staff, and administrators. Having this personality type made it exceedingly difficult. I was even a head varsity athletic coach for several years. Being able to detect phony self-interested assistant coaches, parents, and even players made it hard to play the political games. I could see right through all of it. Most were decent, loving, hard working people. It just seemed that those with "agendas" and other personality types seemed to be in positions of power and influence. Now I can go for days speaking only to my spouse. I thought something was wrong with me. Anyway, let me get back to my French lessons. That way I can avoid people in 2 different languages.
I did a Briggs/Myers test about 10 years ago. I wish that I had known about who I was from an early age, it would've saved me from a lot of 🐂💩. I am 100% INFJ, however, the making other people's problems my own changed, as I got older. I no longer do that part. I can empathize now, I just don't let other people bring me down. All the rest in the video is spot on though.
Precisely me too. Followed the same evolution you describe. Overall I am very happy with who I am and glad to be an INFJ, however the flip side as pointed out by others is also true. Life would be easier as a more generic average joe.
Most people don't think about life as deeply as we do. Hence, why we make good counselors and advisors. We've already played out the thousands of possibilities of an any action in our heads.
Allergic to superficial people and phony socializing✔️Highly selective about who (if anyone) I want to be around/expend energy on✔️Warm and friendly in brief interaction but no thanks to any invitation that would mean being in your company for more than 15 minutes (unless you’re the real/genuine and I knew you weren’t in the first 10 minutes)✔️Totally content with myself, prefer my anonymity, and refuse to sacrifice my autonomy ✔️I got this.
Thanks for watching! For anyone who isn't familiar with the INFJ personality type or the Myers-Briggs type indicator, watch this video - th-cam.com/video/Stg7XGgkq94/w-d-xo.html
Too bad your introduction and your pinned comment never outlined the acronym. Therefore your finale “watch this video” is worthless to someone who is seeking a genuine explanation. Thumbs down
@@Lancelot_JagoIt sounds like you're unfamiliar with the Meyers-Briggs test as a whole. It breaks things down into four aspects of personality type. Interaction with the world: Introvert and Extrovert.
Absorbtion of Information: iNtuitive and Sensor.
Decision making:
Feeler and Thinker.
Organization: Judger and Perceiver.
There are sixteen of these personality types, and one of them is Introvert iNtuitive Feeler Judger.
There's the acronym for the rarest personality type of the sixteen. There is a fifth aspect that isn't really discussed in these types of videos that's put after the personality type. Turbulant or Assertive. So, there are INFJ-T and INFJ-A type people.
It seems to me that videos like this are designed for people already familiar with the Meyers-Briggs classifications in some way, but essentially, it's more than can be put in a single comment to give an informed comment, so he linked to a twelve minute video in which defines the acronym in the first few seconds of the runtime for people who aren't familiar with the classification. I hope this helps.
@@Lancelot_JagoJust google it 🤔
I am starting an INFJ club. We will not have meetings and will all agree to leave each other alone. 😎
Your comment is hilarious!
@Cj Johnson and be annoyed and feel imposed upon that someone intruded on our inbox.
Lmao. That was a great comment!
I suspect any club that would even consider me for membership.
I just might be interested,lol
A psychiatrist once told me I had a "rich inner life" and I agree with that assessment. I am at my best when I'm alone. Being around others depletes me.
Me too.
It’s exhausting!
Totally, I've found on average, a day around people means I need minimum 2 days to recover by myself, insanely draining.
same
It really is exhausting sometimes. Especially taking on what others feel and I can't stand conflict or drama. Being alone re-energizes me.
Just because I don't accept someone's BS and don't talk BS myself I'm considered intense by many people? Yes, you're right. Authenticity is viewed as intensity. I don't understand why it's INFJs who are called odd. Why being deep, sincere and empathetic is odd? (it's not the question to you, I just don't get this world :))
It is why I like the quote, "it is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." 💛
Yeah, same. I don’t understand why everyone at work likes this girl who shit talks LITERALLY everyone but is nice to their faces. I’m honest with people (maybe a little blunt) but highly empathetic and i’m basically ignored. So weird. I hate people who I know are being insincere towards me. It makes my skin crawl and I don’t want to be around that person. Yet so many people are fine with / prefer it. You’d think human instinct would reward being honest and upfront. Yet, it literally rewards dishonesty / insincerity.
I agree with you completely
Odd simply describes that we are 2% of 100% and that makes us the odd man out.
Anything that falls in the minority especially in a society of blindly following is deemed scary or odd. It's not right, but it is true.
I am INFJ but now 85 I am no longer secretive of my feelings,somewhere around 70 I started to express who I am at the deepest levels to anyone I come across. It is as if I am Impervious to what they think of me. I have found an inner strength and assertiveness I didn’t know I had.
Thank you for sharing that, Monique! I just celebrated my 70th and am learning to speak candidly about my gifts as a psychic. It’s been liberating and I’m finding that generally, most people are highly interested. 🔮🔮🔮
I found that in my early thirties. But I have neither the interest or the energy to express myself to everyone. But I did find the confidence of not caring what others think of me. My family being exempt from that of course. But I still avoid drama like the plague and happy on my little farm surrounded by my animals.
I'm turning 67 and finally feeling like I don't have to apologize for not wanting to hang out and engage in small talk. I'm ok now with expressing my own authenticity.
Yes, it is the same for me. I am 81 and my true inner self "came out" in old age. Impervious is a good word for how it is. Even as my body becomes more fragile, I feel I am just now hitting my stride in the art of living. I think old age is a wonderful stage of life for many INFJs.
Ooh la! That's awesome. Thanks for the inspiration
I don't have any friends because I see right through people's bs and I'm tired of wasting time.
Agreed
There are a lot of good people out there. You just haven't found them yet
Yes Lord!!! I agree with you 💯 percent!!! I'd rather be alone than to be around fake people!!! They can stay their fake ass away from me!!!
Ain't that the damn truth.
Girl I hear ya. Much happier in my own company if it comes down to it.
My entire 61 yrs of life as an INFJ & have always been fiercely independent, autonomous, friendly to most yet have only 1 or 2 close friends...always felt 'odd' & now understand why! I LOVE being INFJ & am so glad to have a better understanding of self thru the MBTI personality test. This video is so spot on for me!
100% on point. I am this same exact way & as humans, we are self-protective at all costs. I would rather be an INFJ than a door mat.
Thanks for sharing.
I relate 100% - I'm about the same age, have a couple of close, life-long friends and apparently strike others as "odd" if they don't know me (as well as feeling like an outsider myself). MBTI can feel validating.
I am the same age and I have zero close friends. People who wanted to be closer to me are often offended by how I slowly build a friendship. I just can't be close friends with someone overnight. In all my years I've never had a true close friend. I've had friends, but those friendships never last for many years and they are never very close. There is always a wall between us and I know it was frustrating for them. One person told me recently that I have little capacity for love and caring. This is untrue, but it often seems that way to others.
i am a 22 years of male INFJ. Nowadays i am finding extreamly hard to blend in between normal peoples. I took the quoat "Be yourself" too personally and when i be myself and talk with people, they look at me as if i am speaking a language they never heard of. I am in a state where i have to now understand this *"Society-Game"* .
People are very delusional. Playing games with is other and they love playing "love & hate" game in the most dramatic way possible. I always spoke a truth in a most straight way possible when people say "be honest", then they look at my face saying why u said that, as if they regrate asking me that. Life be complete mess now. Oh yea, empty bench in the park is just the right place to sit and really let lose everything and take a deep breath.... that's the time when i leave earth for a brief moment.
I would love to hear your words, how things went for you.
Everything I thought about writing in this comment section has already been written by my INFJ brothers and sisters. It's comforting to know that there are others like me...
And that is the beauty of the internet, as much drama as it brings also ✌
And grateful for it. I depend upon myself and appreciate others.
We are everywhere!
❤
Same ❤
I'm 73 and have no friends, just acquaintances. Psychics can't read me either. But I have a lovely time on TH-cam daily. I've had some lovely conversations with strangers many times. Maybe INFJ's recognize each other? And we quickly unload with someone we will never see again? Being alone does not mean you are lonely. Few understand this.
Very true. I am 75 and can honestly say this is the best time of my life.
I am 72. From my early age I only ever had 1 close friend. I hate idle talk. And when I am accosted I let them know in no uncertain terms how idiotic they are. Revel in your own thoughts😊
It's lonely out there but I'm not prepared to compromise I find my own solutions 100%. INFJ
It's crazy how this video describes me. I don't have friends and before I took a personality test I only thought I was weird. I felt I never fitted with the rest of the people, and I'm a very honest but respectful person. And it's true, I'm 100 percent happier being by myself than spending my valuable time with superficial people.
I had never heard of INFJs until about a month ago, when I did, all of a sudden everything in my life made sense and I have found it very helpful, I just wish that I knew about it when I was young.
@@joejoejoejoejoejoe4391 isn't that right? I love knowing I'm not alone in this planet 😅
same!
@@joejoejoejoejoejoe4391 Yes, I Only Found Out the Other Day that I am an INFJ.! I too Wish I had known when I was Young.!.
Same as me. I knew I was different at a very young age. I was different from my family and they made sure to let me know it. And they hated me for it. I have never fit in with family members and school and work. I have social anxiety and don't interact with people unless they interact with me. Otherwise I just keep to myself.
Being an INFJ, I am always misunderstood, that I am not a team player, stubborn, anti-social, OCD, etc...I don't sugarcoat if I say something and they think that I am mean. But I really don't care! They just don't know me. I have 3 best friends since we were 12 years old and they love me for who I am, even now that we're in our early 60's. They think that I am funny, straight forward, caring, dependable and independent.
You might like a movie called, 'Romantics Anonymous'. (Edit: or 'Castaway on the Moon' on Tubi).
Hi, 66yo f infj here. Please learn to say your truth but using gentler language. Most people think you are scary and unpredictable until I learned this skill, then they were ok with me.😂
Our high standards can get in the way. Our high expectations can often leave us empty
@@Askadena213 Me too!
We could build heaven though
I am an INFJ and so is my wife, when I first met her, I was immediately attracted to her, because she was fascinated by the world around her and we found ourselves breaking out from our social group into our own focused discussions when ever we met. I recall after we had drifted away into one of these focused discussion at a dinner party, her then husband said privately "I apologise for my wife, she would be beautiful if she did not have a f-ing opinion about everything", I so wanted to punch him in the face, because I thought that this was the most beautiful thing of this beautiful lady.
Aww, I love this story!
I love this.
💘
I love this story, thanks for posting it. I am an INFJ and I truly love to be around other INFJs- no time wasted being loud and saying nothing-instead good solid conversation or sitting in quiet. I wonder if other types enjoy being around their own type as much as INFJs do.
@@janetjacobsen5850 Thank you for your comment. I suspect other types do not, because they do not need to value friendship in the way we do.
I’m 81 years young and have had 3 close girlfriends, 2 of whom are deceased. My husband was my very best friend. From my experience, your analysis is spot on.
As a dude, INFP and INFJ are the 2 that I bounce between. Almost 40, and this describes me quite well.
Little patience for drama, and sensitive about authentic people is 100% accurate and has led to only a few people in my life that I can relate to.
I hate what social media has done to connecting with others. ZERO deep, meaningful interactions.
The quality of the interactions can be quite good on social media. It just takes time to find such people ... just like in real life.
Hi there, INFP / INFJ woman here and your last comment is SPOT ON.
I LOVE MY FELLOW INFJ'S .... WE ARE SUPERHEROS
Invisibility is our superpower...
Welcome to the club fellow INFJ’ers… we often find ourselves on the outside looking in when we’re among 3 or more people. We do best in one-on-one interactions and only have a handful (the most) number of close friendships while the rest remain in the periphery as acquaintances. Most of us are late bloomers and remain young at heart. At 62 looking back, I’ve suffered not knowing why I’ve always felt like the odd man (woman in my case) out. Since taking the Myers Briggs personality test 8 years ago, the dark veil was lifted and suffer no more from being “special”. Proud to be a part of the 2%tile, tho not necessarily blurting it out loud.
I'm now 90 and am an INFJ. Can relate to all the comments. I've moved around Canada quite a bit, exploring and doing new things. In all those years the most real friends I've ever had at one time was two.
@@billfarley9167 Thanks for sharing and Canada rocks! My Dad was from New Brunswick and I lived there for a bit. Great people!
I've always felt out of step with everyone else, I hate drama and avoid crowds (because usually drama comes from crowds) and I have only a very few people I truly call friends. I'm a writer and value my solitude. Now I know who I am! Thank you.☺️
@@JT-gm4fk Feeling invisible is a great way of putting it! Another word I sometimes use is "Afterthought". What do you write, JT?
@@Sandra-wj4on You'll find many of our greatest wordsmiths were/are INFJ. As writers, we have a way with words. Or, perhaps it's more accurate to say; words have a way with us. I say this because the creative process of writing is magical for me. When I'm in a flow, it's like a trance. It's as if the words are waiting for me to be used.
As I often do, I tried to find the right words to describe my creative process in its simplest terms. Eventually, I found them.
With an uncluttered mind, clear of thought, I speak from the heart, and allow my soul to find the appropriate words on my behalf.
Peace.
DD. ☮
Big kiss to you, Sandra!
Sandra, that defines me, too. I also *hate* drama and stay far away from crowds. Airports are torture for me. And yes, I'm a writer too. Working on my 11th book now. I'm so grateful to find this video (and these comments)!
@@rosethornil That is awesome! I don't have as many books, but I'm going to try and catch up with you! (LOL!) Stay strong and keep writing, my friend! BYW, what are some of your titles?
Fiercely independent and enjoy solitude: I have been electric mobility dependent due to MS for 16 years. I rely on a hospital bed as well. My legs and left arm/hand are useless. But, I still live alone in a glorified shack on 36 acres in an Arkansas national forest and love it! A part-time aide brings me groceries and does chores 5 hours each week. There are 6 local people who I trust with my life and it took 18 years to find them. I am truly fortunate.
I appreciate your INFJ attitude!
👍
Being able to read people is a double edged sword. You know how rude and nasty other people can be
My Mom was an INFJ who also had depression as she grew older. She had few friends. But in many ways I saw that what helped her was taking her to art museums, new places, going to plays and spend days afterwards talking about what we saw/did. I was perceptive enough to help my Mom, but I wish I had known about Myers-Briggs while she was a live. I'm an ENT/FJ.
She didn't need help. Sounds like she didn't fit in with American culture and would fit perfectly in Europe especially Germany.
I’m a new mom and an INFJ… I’m pregnant with my second child and very nervous because as much as I LOVE my baby and miss her when she’s sleeping, I feel my introverted side being burnt out. I will take your learned lessons to heart and make sure I do these relaxing tasks with my kids!
Solitude is heaven for me
I only took the Myers-Briggs test a few months ago and found out I am an INFJ , but I now understand why I have felt the way I do for my whole life, like I have always been on the outside looking in ( I'm 57) . I now have a better understanding of why I act the way I do and it has giving me a true inner peace . I only have had 2 very close friends and 1 was my husband but I lost him in 2020 , my other friend has been my rock and really help me deal with his lost she means the world to me and I love her like a sister . Everything said in this video is me to a Tee . I have been called WEIRD my whole life but now I'm okay with that . Years ago my hubby bought me a pin that said " WEIRD IS A BY PRODUTS OF AWESOME " to make me feel better I think now I will wear it as a badge of honor 😁.
I’m 57 too!! This all makes sense now at this point. I wish I knew and had the resources back in the day when I couldn’t understand myself. ❤
Oh, what a gift as an INFJ to have a spouse who is also a best friend! I sometimes think that I'll never find that. I'm 54. I'm truly sorry for your loss!
Once I tested as an INFJ it started to make sense the things people have said to me "You are too intense"....An inexperienced manager said to me "You are different. I don't know what to do with you" (I was doing my job just fine). My ex-husband thought I was anti-social because I didn't want a ton of people around me all the time just gossiping about nonsense. And people seem to think I don't like FUN. They will come to me if they have a problem or something serious is going down, but when there is going to be fun, they invite their 'fun' friends and leave me. I still enjoy some fun!
I am definitely an INFJ and this video describes me to a T, 100% My mother said that I was a loner and the whole family was always concerned about me. I felt defective, not fully understanding myself most of my adult life until I finally discovered my true personality type. I have since accepted myself and would never want to change who I am.
I identify with all these points yet on MBTI tests I am INFP. I find this confusing. Can one be INFP/J?
@@roslynmac INFP and INFJ share lots of common grounds. In fact it has been said that an INFP may mature into an INFJ.
Thanks to maturity and growing courage, the INFP becomes more discerning and vocal, therefore will speak the truth to a situation out of genuine concern. No more being content with feeling and observing in the quiet. Engaging with the inner circle of significant others.
HaHa I saw the part about the family worries and i laughed so hard because it's totally my life.
I was different and kept to myself as a teenager and my family hated me for it. People at school thought I was strange because I was quiet and kept to myself. In high school I only knew two people.
I'm thinking my nibling is in the same boat. My sister is constantly concerned about her not having friends (my sister is much more E who had a large group of friends that she hung out with in high school). I suspect that my nibling is more like myself (with a much smaller circle), but she hasn't found the core friendships in a few trusted people that she feels she can relate to.
I’m 62 years old and am a very content INFJ. I can absolutely relate to everything said about us in this video. Thank you❤
Same, I'm 63.
Ditto @ 56
INFJs tend to be highly selective when it comes to choosing friends, and they often have only a small handful of people in their inner circle that they truly trust and connect with. Another reason is that INFJs are introspective by nature and often spend a lot of time alone exploring their thoughts and feelings, which can make it difficult for them to socialize in a typical way. And finally, INFJs can be quite sensitive and empathetic, which sometimes makes them too forgiving or accommodating towards people who don't truly deserve their friendship.
I'm an INFJ married to another INFJ. He's more of an INFJ than I am. Our marriage is the most soulful, pure yet challenging experience in life. We're both sensitive, deep thinkers and intense. Authenticity is 100% the priority for both of us in every area of life.
Do you know what enneograms types you are ? And subtypes eg self preservation or social etc?
Yes, sounds like me. Very few friends and happy that way, don’t like drama and really dislike conflict and confrontation.
As an INFJ, I know lot of people but only have one friend. I haven't had a date or company at all since my wife sent me away in 2016. I prefer to stay alone in my apt. I don't go out. No clubs. No bars. No restaurants. Just the grocery store and gas station.
I have 3 cats who show me love and gladly accept mine. It's all I need. All I want.
I hear you
Jack--we are almost living the same life! The only difference is I have a small part-time job--just 3 days a week, 6 hour shift only--and I basically work by myself when there. So it's the PT job, the grocery store and gas station every couple of weeks, and library once a month. Other than that--home all the time. No going out for entertainment, no restaurants, etc. It's always been me and my 2 cats--who are very loving, and the best companions ever. I talk to them, and they talk back to me. Like you--it's all I have ever needed, and all I want ♥
...ditto, no cats though.
66 here.Alone since 2016, 2 cats. My big conversation each week is with the grocery cashier. Only get gas once a month.
@@jenna2431 I work part time as a grocery cashier. It is the only socializing I get and I told my doctor that it was unhealthy to have no social interaction so that's why I took the job. It is part time though because I couldn't stand the people more than that! It's all in the dosage! I am 65.
Spot on! I have tried to figure out why I don’t have friends, and now I get it. The whole drama thing and inauthentic superficial blather is just too much for me. So, after 60+ years I’m satisfied to have my family as my friend group because at least most of them “get” me.
Really? I am 60+ too and I have always felt that the people who understand me the least are my family, both close and extended. I feel very alone with them. But I have found several good friends over the years that I really value, so I am satisfied with that.
@GILLIAN
I guess you're one of the lucky ones in that regard.
Anyone who doesn’t get you has a sad loss indeed.
finding genuine friendship is as hard as finding genuine love/intimacy for INFJs
Well, I'm well into my 40s and still a virgin, so yes. I just want to find anouther INFJ to marry.
True! I am 53 years old and I have no friends at all. I have searched all my life for someone I could truly trust, have had some shortlived 'friendships', but they always stabbed me in the back. Better to be alone I think. Less disappointment that way.
@@nessus47 What you consider being "stabbed in the back" might be this: Our personality makes us too quick to offer opinions, where none are sought. Because we are constantly thinking and formulating explanations for the world, we can be insufferable to those who live on a more surface plane (which is fine as well). Surface people have more fun because they DGAF and have little time for people like us. You weren't stabbed in the back. Your actions made people want to retaliate. I couldn't even make a list of all the friends I have alienate in my life - it wasn't them, it was me.
@@Automedon2 wow this is the first comment here , among thousands, that displays some ability and willingness to be self-critical and objective. I'm worried that many of us are a little insecure and possibly mildly narcissistic.
@@stopper90004 I quit drinking 30 years ago, with the help of Alcoholics anonymous: much in their book applies to many of us if we are honest with ourselves and step back from the victimhood for a bit
"Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so"
I don’t know if anyone else has encountered this, but I have on several occasions made acquaintances with more extroverted people whose whole lives revolve around socialising. These people will notice I spend a lot of time alone and assume I must be lonely and in need of saving. Then they invite me to things, which I usually accept because I feel rude not to (plus, I’ve been made to feel weird for preferring my own company, which makes me feel like I should try to be more social), only to have those same people start treating me like I’m some kind of burden and resenting me. It’s very annoying due to the fact I was happy just being by myself and doing my own thing. I’m happy you invited me but I really wouldn’t have cared if you didn’t. Why do extroverted people always make introverts feel weird for wanting to spend time alone? Just because you can’t cope with being alone doesn’t mean you have to save me from my self-imposed solitude. This has happened to me on multiple occasions and it makes me even less interested in trying to socialise.
I have absolutely experienced this. One particular extroverted friend---never could conceive of the notion that being alone--does NOT mean lonely. I told him this so many times--that I need, and love my solitude. He always had to be in the thick of people, big-time socializer, who couldn't be alone. Strange how people can't accept that people can feel differently than they do.
You have just described me perfectly. Thank you for expressing it so well.
I sure can relate to that.
'Why'? Partly because many extroverts are shallow, assume everyone is like them, assume others need the stimulation they do and are often terribly lonely themselves...but just don't know it.
@@buckleymordecai9605 I think that's a big part of it!
I cried watching and listening to this. I’ve always questioned my personality. Never understood why I am like this. Always thought I was the only one like this. Thanks for making me understand
Yeah me too
Big kiss to you, Eleanor!
No, you are not alone. I spend 99% or more of my time alone. I don’t like drama, and will keep to myself in order to avoid it.
What you say resonates deep! I always knew, even as a child, that I was so different & like you, thought I was the only one like this! I love that I've found others who get me, even though I haven't met peeps responding to being INFJ, it is comforting to know I have a tribe & I'm not totally solitary! Though, I do enjoy my solitude!
I feel you
True. There's a few things I've learned from being an INFJ for over half a decade. I let people know up front that I'm the one that asks the awkward questions 😜. When I socialize I learn 3 topics to discuss. Gossip is sooo boring. Dinner parties are a good thing to have. The burden of conversation is on the guests, not me. The best way to make friends is to be one. It will become obvious who are users and who are true friends. Set boundaries. Closer friends have fewer boundaries. INFJs tend to have a good work ethic so a job with self direction is fairly easy to find. Stay spicy my friend 😘
🌶
Spicy Indeed!!!
That was crazy. Me to a T. At 65 I am exhausted from a lifetime of trying to fit in and understand other people. The last few years I have become almost a complete hermit - and I've never felt more myself in my life. The deep depression I have suffered all my life is almost completely gone.
I’ve heard that introverts draw energy from solitude. This has helped me explain my need for “down time.” I have always felt on the outside looking in: apart and different. I appreciate this video!
Spending another evening alone tonight and wondering if I should encourage myself to socialize more. Yet I find most people draining - I have to be in the mood to be around other people. Additionally, I find most people too shallow and/or self-centered to connect with - and therefore they're draining to me. I'm sure many here in the comments can relate!
It has always aggravated me how my other friends tried to "change" me, tell me to get out more, be more outgoing....they don't understand...this is who I am...I need my alone time, crowds are stressful
Infj+sigma trait=me I don’t need no friends to function
That's me and my exact sentiments expressed
👍👍👍
Omg so many like me. We are not alone. Love 2 all.
Incredible thing to see that there are people like me who don't seek validation from society.. we be our own boss in life 🥰❤️
@@DC-fe2fx 😂
From early childhood, my relationship with other people has ever been curiously different. The litany of peculiar interactions is seemingly endless, and spins out for decades. Oddly, I actually love other people. When I give, I do so from the heart. I do not need recognition for having helped when I see a need. Doing things to assist, when needed, is just the good thing to do. We understand the frailty in humanity because our cognitive function is "turned on its head" for others. But don't lie to me.
We INFJs are the "crème de la crème," of personality types! This video really improved my day alot! Thanks friend! Strength & solidarity to my fellow INFJs!👍🤟👏💜🌍
Welcome to my world.
Salute 😉
Thank you.. I’m feeling really down about myself right now
@@zaram131 I can totally relate to that. I hope things improve for you friend. You're not alone! Have a blessed day 🙂
@@zaram131 Don’t be down on yourself..there’s NOTHING wrong with you! You are unique and totally cool because of it!!! It’s other people’s lack of understanding that makes you feel down. Now you can understand yourself and be happy you aren’t a lost soul trying desperately to be a player. Embrace your type and see these others for how shallow and superficial they really are! I thank god I’m not one of “them”!
This continues to explain why I never fit in with anyone. My only friends are my books that I read.
I was going to ask if other INFJs found books, music, and art to be really meaningful aspects of their 'social life'. I do consider books to be my friends as well. The level of emotional intimacy someone puts on the page is rare in person to person interactions. Have you read The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco? I loved the idea of a library being the space where long dead people converse through books across the centuries.
This could not be more accurate! A great video to share w/others who don’t “get you”. Thanks for posting. 💗
AGREE 💯👍💯💯💯💯💯 TRUTH TELLERS SPEAK NOW HERE IN DA CHAT ✨💫🙌😍🙌💖🔥🙏🔥✍️🔥✍️💖🌈 10/15/2022
INFJ ALL DA WAY💘😇😇🥀🥰🌄🥰💋🤗🐾 MYSTERIOUS, 🦁 🐯 😘 GREAT LOVER'S FRIEND'S CRUSHES, GIFTED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT, 🦁🐾🦁🐾🦁😎PERHAPS YOU ARE ENTERTAINING ANGELS 😇????💥😎💌❤️💯💯🎼🎶🎧🙏🙏🙏🙏💖💖🔥🔥🔥🔥
INFJ PEOPLE ARE EXTREMELY PERCEPTIVE , DEEP, DIFFERENT, PASSIONATE, INTELLECTUAL, Don't TRUST ANYONE EASILY, U CAN'T FOOL US! WE AVOID LIAR'S THEIFS CON-ARTISTS NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS TOXIC PEOPLE CRIMINALS
Right???!! Omgosh, I was like how does this person know me.
Hwy you guys want to talk with me?
I took the personality test months ago, and I found out I am an INFJ. True! I have very few friends. I find it difficult to trust. I love being alone. I don't like to argue. I distance myself from negative things/people/situations. I am very observant. I can easily sense whether a friend/office mate/family member is in a good mood or not. It's just so ironic that me being an INFJ, work as a Team Lead handling 13 team members. I have no choice but to learn to associate, interact and collaborate with different types of personalities.
I was in a similar situation. You will be better off for it!
You got it!
I once had a management job and the senior manager had her four managers do the Myer-Briggs test so she would know what personality type we were. She was very controlling and to my mind this was self-serving. As complex as people are and as varied their life experiences I don't think any one can or imagine to put people into neat little personality boxes. When I took the test I purposely answered the questions opposite of my actual personality. I think the personality type labeled INFJ merely describes a person who is smart, perceptive, sincere, honest, unsuperficial, and who distrusts most people learned from experience. The reason it is so rare is because most people choose to not possess or cultivate any of these positive traits.
Just like a "stubborn, independent" INFJ to answer the questions opposite of your actual personality. Funny!
The fact that I have this personality became very clear when my husband and I left the US and moved to Costa Rica. We did not know anyone and had been with friends we knew for 30 years back in the states. It came as a shock when I began to try to make friends of how difficult it was. I had 2 friends in the states who knew me inside and out. Here I found people to be so shallow. Small talk was excruciating and facebook was so important. I can say I have found 1 good friend here. That is all I need.
I guess that your friends (and husband) are, or similar to INFJs, so you got used to proper conversation and debate, and came to assume that most people are capable of the same, it's surprising how few people have much worthwhile to say.
Bless you. I completely understand what you mean. It's hard enough to begin with, especially in a foreign country. I'm dealing with that myself ❤️
@@melloroful Ditto.
I am an INJF and have become extremely solitary in my life after my retirement, except for my husband. I have a daughter living 1,500 miles away, and we communicate 4 or 5 times a year, which is OK. I don't need to be on top of her life like some parents. I have always been independent with few or no friends. I used to feel lonely and misunderstood. Then I met a woman who became a very good friend. A mutual acquaintance told me before I met this woman that we would be good friends...and we were. She was 12 years younger than me, but it felt like we had known each other our entire lives. Sadly, she died from brain cancer in her 50's. Since then, A few people have wanted to be close friends, but I find that what they are really looking for is someone to dump their drama on. They aren't aware of this, but I have learned they are not really interested in an equal friendship. I find myself depleted after spending more than 30 minutes in their company. So I am happy simply spending time at home enjoying my own schedule, doing things that keep me learning and motivated, while chasing a naughty, adorable puppy.
You did a great job of summing us INFJ's up! One sentence that stood out to me was 'would rather be alone than with someone they don't like'.... I think we can be a lonely bunch, as we just don't click with 99.9% of people, but we really want to click with somebody!
I always wondered why I was so "different". I have always preferred my solitude yet enjoy some people.. I'm very selective. Which makes me short on friends. Your list describes me perfectly. Thank you for the insight
I had a very abusive childhood. Like many others self identity and the trauma become so intertwined. I was not sure what is from the abuse and what is part of a stable personality. I now know I am INFJ all the way. Now I am able to recognize how this helped me survive.
Me too
Me three
Don't get your identity from abuse, trauma. Eckhart Tolle is healing to listen to.
I am finding comfort in my weirdness being part of who I am and not from the trauma...interesting.
I relate to this video 100 percent. It reminds me of my father who isn't an INFJ. He lectures me about all the friends he has and he wonders why I don't have any friends. I do have friends. I just don't give lists of all my friends to others. People who brag about the number of friends they have bore me to tears.
I have many friends but I’m not sure they consider me a friend or an acquaintance but it doesn’t matter in the end because I can enjoy people without reciprocation.
As an INFJ, I am a loner most of the time. So many people think I am weird because I am so quiet all the time. When I was in the military, it was a struggle for me.
Im a INFJ and in the military still; but over time I just became more extroverted (INFJ-A) but still keeping my quiet/alone time
Military life is the worst for us! USAF...'76 to '80.
I’m a INFJ and was able to be more so, as I was an only child after my parents 25 years of marriage. On a farm, surrounded by adults I was able to truly be me. My mother was wonderful and supportive how ever I was the odd duck at school and with relatives. Certainly makes us targets for bullying as people can sense that we are different on some undefinable level. I have had many people try to create drama for my life, surely I can’t be so calm and contented with my life, on my own. When people complain about things going on in the world, I ask “what can you do to fix that?” They don’t want to hear that at all. We are too honest and see too clearly.
Everything on this video describes me 100% I’m considered aloof many times people say I’m boring and I spend a lot of time alone this personality is terrible when you have children because many times you are not there for them. Many times just being around others bothers me so much that I leave the event. Thank you so much for for making this video I will share it with those I love
Now I am wondering if that's the reason why I have no children at age 46 ( not by choice ). God had it all planned out for me....
This is so accurate...
Although I enjoy my own company a lot as an INFJ, it gets lonely as it's hard to find true friends that you can genuinely connect and share your experiences with.
Omg I can relate to pretty much all this video, so yes guess I am one myself! 😁 But as Richard Stevens (another Poster in here) said....it can be a bit of a curse when you dont meet like-minded persons. Even with my mates, I can feel ....odd/judged/unpopular....I feel as if everyone around me is normal and I'm not! Lol! But perhaps I, and we, should view it as a 'gifted' personality type because it's few and far between. It's something beautiful and natural, and it's wrong to fight against it. So hello to all you others the same!!! 😎❤️
Being alone is something most people are afraid of, because society disconnects them from who they really are since their young age, and being alone would mean having to reconnect to who you really are because there would not be anything left to distract you from your own self, and that process is really scary for a lot of people, since it involves facing your biggest demons
Well said and so true. I am lonely at a gathering of such people but not when by myself and tuned to God and Nature and my inner being. And I think we make the disconnected people uncomfortable because we disrupt their artificial matrix.
It's somewhat weird hearing your life described in such intimate detail on TH-cam. Great video.
Yes, it is! I had not heard of this, and just clicked on the video out of curiosity, because I have a difficult time socializing. It was both fascinating and unnerving to watch, and realize that they were describing me and my quirks. I have just figured I was weird my entire life. It's also nice to find that I am not alone in my preference to be alone. It's weirdly comforting..🤔
This
It's interesting that I scored INFJ every single time I've taken the test in my twenties and '30s but recently I scored an INTP. I can think of numerous reasons for that. I kind of get the sense that an INTP is kind of like a more matured version of an INFJ. It makes sense because as you age wisdom comes into play and hopefully anyways you become less volatile. Less dominated by feelings. In any case this was a fantastic presentation about the TRUE INFJ. It has helped me gravely and so to have other videos on the topic. It helped me to feel a whole lot less bad about my loneliness because I am lonely in my "solitude." Even though I prefer it. Lol what a paradox. I even learned to work remotely because the workplace was just too intense and it would be sensory overload. Too many problems related to intuitive sensory . The games co-workers play, The manipulations, the deceit or what I perceive as deceit because sometimes people do things thinking they're doing something good but that's a big mistake with an INFJ. But the video has help 8:02 ed me to feel less like a weirdo. I often think It is a blessing and a curse to be an INFJ. I wouldn't change it though.
Friendship traits: Honesty, and Integrity are most important
That is so true!!! It's so many people these days lack these character traits: it's almost impossible to find!!!
Yes, and INFJ's are NOT easy to get along with, way too intense for me. I have many friends who have integrity and honesty and are NOT intense. INFJ's don't roll with it, and are NOT flexible and become discombobulated when plans change. Difficult for me. I guess different personalities can mesh with them. I can't!
@@WandaWojcik I get, I have heard that before. I am a loner with a small circle of friends. A square peg, in a round hole world ☹️
@@noidreculse8906 Thank you for understanding. You are wonderful and have wisdom.
This video makes me emotional..because I can relate it ..and i realise that I am the one with INFJ personality.... Thank you for sharing
So refreshing. I likened it to my new take on stoicism, but with INFJ I'm truly at home with that. Finally. Thanks for the video 🌹
My Dad had a saying "if you can count your friends on one hand, you are Blessed " I am pretty sure he was an INFJ too
Hello Friend, I just realized I am an INFJ!! For years, I struggled to understand why I feel so out of place or alien in society? Honestly, I have all the personality traits you talked about in this video. You just gave me the key to understand myself in an entire new way. Thank you for this video!!
I can spend a lot time by myself and must of the time ,I can't wait to find at least few minutes for me, connecting with my inner world , and it does feel an amazing experience
Accurate. I have a few select friends, and I feel like finding a partner I can trust is nearly impossible. Too many people seem very superficial to me. I don’t feel *special* but I do feel different. This is very good most of the time, but some of the time it isn’t.
I have only one best friend. I noticed I tend to get bored during small talk or conversations that include gossiping or talking about mundane things...and honestly I feel guilty. I feel as if I come across as feeling like "I'm better than others", which is not the case. I engage in small talk and go out of my way to make others feel heard (even if the topic doesn't really interest me). What I also found is that, if people don't give me a similiar "treatment" that they're engaged in what I'm saying, I automatically think they hate me and that I'm boring them, so I just shut myself out of tthe relationships alltogether.
I’m an INFJ and make friends fairly easily because I’m friendly and take a genuine interest in people, however I have very few people in my life I would consider a close or true friend.. and out of those close friends… I really don’t know whom I would consider my actual best friend.. I have a couple “best friends” but not in the way I wish I actually could have a best friend. I’m grateful for them nonetheless, but I’m really not sure I have an actual best friend… people come and go and I’ve learned to be content in my own company.. this video is very spot on.
This list describes me perfectly. I have a small group of friends who are genuine and accept me as I am. I am all about quality. I have a low tolerance for BS, liars, and superficiality. I do prefer to be on my own though I have a small core of like-minded friends with whom I enjoy spending time, outside my home. My home is my haven and I prefer to it keep that way. 🌹🕊🌹🕊🌹
Loved this. So nice to be validated. I have often had conflicts at work with supervisors because of "my attitude" which is really me just actually caring about the quality of work I'm doing. I had to move to a state where my job is Union protected because managers just think I should "Smile more". Seriously 2 jobs said this and I work in an ER. If you have a stroke do you want someone to help you efficiently or just give you a silly grin? I'm empathetic and care. None of my patients have complained. They know I'm authentic and no BS.
I too am an INFJ, and it took me quite awhile to get to, "I don't care what people think of me." I'm now 66 close to being 67, and I'm the happiest I've been in my entire life. Also, almost zero close friends. The point about trusting is huge for me. Thank you for reading my post in its entirety.
After 42 years in my homeland, and after 22 years in my new country, I have exactly no friends. And I'm good.
I discovered I was INFJ (quite by accident) 5 years ago. At the time, it was the most profound realisation of my life. That is to say, while the realisation was shocking, it was not surprising. In essence, it made total sense. While it didn't tell me anything I already knew, it did attest it. This appears to be common when a person discovers their identity as an INFJ.
No doubt, our very nature means we would be aware of our rareness anyway. Discovering I was INFJ didn't tell me WHO I was, it told me WHY I was. So, despite the profound realisation of self, the impact didn't change me, simply because I was still the same. It all made sense.
Ultimately, if you need to ask yourself if you're an INFJ, most likely you're not one. I believe you either know in your gut (a typical INFJ trait), or you don't. In fact, the first clip I watched describing was beyond accurate and felt like it was made solely to describe me. When I asked my partner and best friend to watch the clips without telling them what it was about, they both came to same conclusion.
this is so true. I’m proud to be an INFJ. ❤
what a great community here in the comment section 😊
Old woman here who is this personality. Hard lesson learned too late is dont be too comfortable with it. Will come a time when all your immediate family has passed & you will get longterm sick & need help. If you don't have alot $ for home health care, you will be in trouble. Really work on coming out of your comfort zone & develop an expansive network of friends - the younger the better. Be a good neighbor, learn to trust. Even if you get burned by others, move on & keep reaching out.
Thank you for posting this affirming video. Very accurate. I've always felt and was told that I am very odd/different from other people. I've only found out I was an INFJ-Assertive later in life. The problem I have with others is that I am friendly with everyone so many think that I am "friends" with them. It takes me some time to consider others as friends as I feel trust has to be earned over time because I want quality friendships that are a blessing to them as well as me. And, even though I tell others this, I unintentionally hurt them. What I have found is that those that will be quality friends will wait and be patient with me. If they aren't, they are usually toxic in some way or want something from me so I see this as a red flag instead of accommodating them.
Amen to that!
So accurate it's weird. I once lost a job opportunity that I REALLY wanted because "you don't seem to have many friends, and it's important in our consulting team to be social."
I thought there was something so wrong with me, until I took this test. Now I get me. That is just great to be me. The need for solitude created allsorts of problems in the past. No more amen!😋
I've never felt so validated as I did while watching this video. I've never heard it said so well from a point of view that truly understands INFJs.
Can relate to a lot of this except the over-emphasis on independence and not wanting to be around people much and hiding myself. I am pretty open, authentic, and very intense! That does cause me to spend a lot of time alone. Definitely dislike conflict, need time to regroup, don't like small talk, have high empathy, can read people to a level of scary at times. I am definitely well suited to my career as a marriage and family therapist!
I didn't know I was INFJ before taking MBTI test in 2017, I took more than 6 times, and the results are always the same, INFJ. I always think I was weird never fitted in any groups of friends. I was devastating trying to fit in, but now having 0 friends makes me even happier, peaceful. I'm so grateful being me, having my own company. This video describes how am I exactly, thanks a lot!
I’m an iNFJ and married an INFJ. It was the most beautiful friendship and marriage of our lives. Never married again. We loved people and adventures and not self centered as one could suppose.
OMG, and all my life I thought I was just weird, like how everyone around me said I was. And here I just turned out to be extraordinary personality !!! Nice to know.
Thank you for posting this video! I struggled for most of my life to understand who I am, and now I have a label and a better understanding of my personality. And I feel vindicated knowing that this is a real personality type and my quirks or totally normal. I appreciate the work and detail you gave for this video. I hope others can see this and gain understanding about themselves and others with this personality that have struggled like I have. Well done!
Perfect description of me. It is really difficult to find true and honest people you can really trust. Sometimes it bothers me, but then again, I am quite content being on my own.
As an INFJ-A this decribes me to a T.
The MyersBriggs system has finally revealed so much to me that has led to understanding myself, my life and how others relate to me.
Maturing as an INFJ-A has been a revelation and an adventure.
Being different to the mainstream presents many challenges yet if given a choice I would choose who I am over fitting in any day.
Much love to every INFJ.
Finding out about INFJs (about a month ago) has been a revelation to me, now everything makes sense. I think in the past it was easier for people to be different, and individual, but now everyone has to fit into the modern norm, sharing the same views and opinions as what is currently popular, no matter how it fits in with facts.
@@joejoejoejoejoejoe4391
I simply never fit in, ever.
lol. I never really have "fit in" either. My head is in a different place than most people. I tend toward intellectual, learning things. I found out my mtDNA is from around the world & laughed. I have always been more interested in the wider world than in a small locations. I like ethnic & bohemian, long before it became a "thing."
@@thordisfynehair9442
It is fun to be different, why fit in when we were born to be set apart and stand out?
Wow! Totally me! Didn't know there was a name for it. I'll add that even though we are very good at reading people, on the rare occasion that we misread someone we care about it can be devastating. I suffer from depression and anxiety and recently had my heart broken by a woman I was head over heels for. I really misread her feelings for me and it triggered suicidal ideations for me.
This pretty much describes me. As for friendships,I have a multitude of acquaintances, but only a very few I can truly call friend. I like it that way.
I am blessed with great friends, so I don't get INFJ's. I also have acquaintances.
I’m def all of this and fine with it! I wish my sister understood and stop pushing me to have friends. Funny thing is, her and her husband never take a vacation w/o a whole group of friends yet my sister complains about all those people making her nuts the entire trip.
I learned from a very young age how to assimilate. It’s unnatural and can be very exhausting, but it’s been helpful for superficial social situations. My most significant job was a struggle not because the work was complicated (I thrive with solo work and enjoy a full workload), but due to low-grade conflict with my supervisor because I did’t fit her idea of work culture. I’d prefer to be in my office steadfastly on task instead of frequent breaks to coworkers offices and communal areas to socialize & gossip. I was even reprimanded once for being too productive because it made my coworker look bad. Seriously. I’m being paid to work, not be part of a toxic work culture… On my time, I thrive with creative pursuits. At times INFJ-T can be lonely, but I do genuinely care for the betterment of others. Well, others that aren’t malignant narcissists!
Just described my life at my job of 14 years exactly.
In my first occupation I was a mechanic, I quickly found out that if the machines broke down and I was busy all day, the day would pass really quick, if all the machines went well the day dragged on and on, I used this in my next job to stay busy to make the day go quicker, but I to was told to slow down by my manager....
Good grief! What a toxic environment.
Funny how we can be cameleons, isn't it? I have been told that I am personable, and sociable, but I know it's just because I learned those traits so that life can go smoother. I'm semi retired - working just 3 days a week. The other 4, I rarely see anyone or go anywhere and that's the real me.
Thank you for this. Retired from teaching going on 2 years. It was the ultimate drama stage, constantly engaged with phony personalities among students, other staff, and administrators. Having this personality type made it exceedingly difficult. I was even a head varsity athletic coach for several years. Being able to detect phony self-interested assistant coaches, parents, and even players made it hard to play the political games. I could see right through all of it. Most were decent, loving, hard working people. It just seemed that those with "agendas" and other personality types seemed to be in positions of power and influence. Now I can go for days speaking only to my spouse. I thought something was wrong with me. Anyway, let me get back to my French lessons. That way I can avoid people in 2 different languages.
Same👍spent a lot of time in my room. I loved to teach, but meetings where some gossiped it was tiring
I did a Briggs/Myers test about 10 years ago. I wish that I had known about who I was from an early age, it would've saved me from a lot of 🐂💩. I am 100% INFJ, however, the making other people's problems my own changed, as I got older. I no longer do that part. I can empathize now, I just don't let other people bring me down. All the rest in the video is spot on though.
Precisely me too. Followed the same evolution you describe. Overall I am very happy with who I am and glad to be an INFJ, however the flip side as pointed out by others is also true. Life would be easier as a more generic average joe.
1 truthful friend remaining, many people have let me down trough the year years,so I cut them out of my life.
Most people don't think about life as deeply as we do. Hence, why we make good counselors and advisors. We've already played out the thousands of possibilities of an any action in our heads.
Perseverating. It’s healthy to identify it and stop. :-P
VERY accurate! Solid work guys! I agree with all of these, and want to thank this channel for being respectful towards INFJs
I go out with friends but I can’t wait to get home and be by myself…thought I was weird
It’s refreshing to know that I’m not alone. I love being an INFJ
Allergic to superficial people and phony socializing✔️Highly selective about who (if anyone) I want to be around/expend energy on✔️Warm and friendly in brief interaction but no thanks to any invitation that would mean being in your company for more than 15 minutes (unless you’re the real/genuine and I knew you weren’t in the first 10 minutes)✔️Totally content with myself, prefer my anonymity, and refuse to sacrifice my autonomy ✔️I got this.
Respect, love, dependability and loyalty make for a good friend.
I also work better alone because I like to focus on my work instead of talking