Saving The Sexless Marriage with Ken and Tabatha Claytor
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Facing the trials that life throws at our bedroom doors, we refuse to shy away from the tough topics-erectile dysfunction, menopause, and emotional hurdles are all on the table. In this exchange, we normalize these challenges and offer hope, guiding you through the labyrinth of maintaining closeness despite life's changes. Listen as we share our own experiences, rating our sex life with transparency and encouraging continuous effort for that ever-elusive perfect harmony. With a generous dose of practical advice intertwined with empathy, we're here to support you in seeking help and keeping the fight for a fulfilling intimate life alive.
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This is so true, so many people say they are too tried for sex or tired of trying to improve their own libido and desire for their partner and to engage in making love.
People make an effort for work, the gym, socialising, cooking a good meal, vacationing, political conversations and more but you have to ask yourself… I am willing to invest my time and energy into all of this but not to connect with my partner on the most fundamental and godly level which syncs all levels of our being in mind, body, emotion and soul!
This was a bit one sided. You only said “maybe there is a woman out there” THERE ARE A LOT OF WOMEN who experience lack of sex from husbands!
Sir, what would you say to the men who are doing this? What do you say to men who are weaponizing sex and not giving it due to issues they have with their wives? Or men feeling like they are tired?
Lastly, Tabatha, you spoke on men being the covering and you never have to run from him or protect yourself from him… you didn’t touch on the women who are in verbally abusive situations or being treated harshly without love… they are out there too and their body may hold the trauma from the past hurts which is why they avoid sex. Just some different perspectives here because people out in the worlds marriage don’t always look as great as you guys marriage 🫶🏾
There are a lot of women dealing with this. It’s true.
I thought they did a good job of mentioning other scenarios.... give them grace
I am single but I am really loving your podcast, this would be my guide for my marriage life soon, God leads me to your podcast. Tabatha, I admire you! God bless both of you.
From Philippines.
This episode was so helpful. When Tabatha mentioned that we can't get the pleasure we have in sex anywhere else from anyone else a light bulb went off🤣 I don't know why I never thought of it that way, but needless to say, my husband and I have had a fantastic week after we listened to this episode so thanks guys lol married couples around the world are grateful for this content
We are glad it can be a blessing for you both and put it into action lol 😆👏🏽 Don't forget to share this episodes with friends and family!
Totally true! For me it’s air, oxygen and food.
My husband is always tired... he pours himself out for his work and his family... feels as though i am getting the short end of the stick. Its been weeks. I feel disconnected from him. I dream about being intimate with him.
Pray & have a heart to heart with him & tell him what u just wrote... I can so relate & need to follow my own advice! We've been married 18 yrs! Phew what a journey!
20 years of asking him. Waiting for him to come to me to want me.
We are in therapy! Lord create a miracle in our marriage please. Please 🙏🏽 renew our love and our intimate passion. Open our hearts and open our ears and our eyes! Please remove all blocks and all trauma from our minds, hearts and spirits. In the mighty name of Jesus. Thank you lord!
Well. I can say . This show has helped me. I just joined. I need to get back to prayer.
Thank you, if someone can find the time to go to the gym everyday, work visit friends daily then and deprive your wife/ husband then we are missing the most important commandment and not loving our neighbor or husband or wife.
Thank you for the great advice shared for marriage. I learnt a lot. God bless you both. 🙏🏾
I am the passionate one!!! I need physical intimacy! I have an appetite! My husband does not.
He can throw all his energy into his work and his children. We are married!!! Oh lord!
I'm sorry girl but I can relate. Mines not even a workaholic and he just has one adult stepson which is my son.
@@annabanzon313 I hear you loud and clear!
@@VanessaSimon26 itt doesn't help when the area I live in has youngsters who hit on older females.
@@annabanzon313 oh my gosh! I understand.
@@VanessaSimon26 some practical tips I wish I didn't have to learn; just say no to temptations and voids. Just say yes to self care and alone time quarantined with the Lord.
Your podcast IS just waouhhh, you're a blessing for couples. God bless y'all and keep using you to bless others
So good!!!
Good job guys 👏
I am now nolonger interested in sex. I feel lazy these days.
😮
😅 too funny
Women have the same need to release that energy as well.
Backsliding scripture
Romans 1 21-25
Who THEY ARE and WHO THEY ARE NOT.
KJV
Romans 1.........57ad
[21] Because that, WHEN they KNEW God,
they glorified him NOT as God, neither were thankful; but BECAME VAIN in their IMAGINATIONS, and their foolish heart WAS DARKENED.
[22] Professing themselves to be wise, they BECAME FOOLS,
[23] And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an IMAGE made like to CORRUPTIBLE man , and to BIRDS, and FOURFOOTED BEASTS, and CREEPING things.
[24] Wherefore God also GAVE THEM UP to UNCLEANNESS through the LUSTS of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
[25] Who changed the truth of God into a LIE, and worshipped and served the CREATURE MORE than the CREATOR, who is blessed for ever. Amen
Paul switched gears from 20 to 21 as he did 17 to 18.
Who "THEY" are and who "THEY" are NOT.
Lets squeeze blood from a turnip.
The UNSAVED always have been vain in thier imaginations.
They never ever glorified God.
They always had dark hearts.
They were always unwise.
They were always fools.
They always made images.
They were always corruptible.
They were always unclean in their hearts mind and soul.
They were always lustful
They always dishonored their own bodies between themselves.
They were always liars.
The unsaved knew OF OF OF God but never KNEW God.
God never walks away from the unsaved. There has to be a relationship in place to walk away from.
What did the UNSAVED ever have to lose when they never had it to begin with?
You cant squeeze blood out of a turnip.
Now read 21-25 with the saved in mind. It will make alot more sense.
Pay attention to the past tense grammar. The saved has things to lose as the unsaved dont. Cause they never had it. Their soul is already lost without salvation.
Romans 1 21-25 is not talking about the unsaved. Its talking about the saved backsliding from idolatry with live creatures and not turning from their wicked ways thus losing their salvation because of it. 24
Since the resurrection of Jesus Christ, there has been ONLY ONE WAY TO KNOW God.
SALVATION.
Paul and the Holy spirit would never use the words "KNEW GOD" loosely and contradict the words of Jesus in John 14 by implying we can KNOW God by His creation only.
KNOWN OF GOD. 19.
It is impossible to KNOW someone if you never met them and never had a relationship with. But only to know OF OF them.
In 21 did God say "because that when they knew OF God"??
NO
Romans 1 KJV 57 AD
[21] Because that, WHEN they KNEW God
^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^^
God said right here that they KNEW HIM. This means SAVED.
Gods words. Will we deny HIS WORDS AS IT IS WRITTEN????
John 14 KJV
[6] Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, THE TRUTH, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
[7] If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.
To KNOW GOD MEANS SAVED.
TO KNOW OF GOD MEANS UNSAVED. Knowing OF God means just knowing theres a supreme being because of his creation.
Romans 1 21-25 is about the saved who backslid (turned back) and didn't turn from their wicked ways daily and lost their salvation because of it. 24
THE MESSAGE?
Salvation is not a license to sin and NOT turn from your wicked ways daily.
Hebrews 10 KJV
[26] For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins.
Knowledge of the truth means JESUS and the point of salvation and beyond.
John 14 KJV
[6] Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, THE TRUTH, and the life.
This means Jesus is THE TRUTH and one WILL lose their salvation from ABANDONING their FAITH by not turning from their wicked ways.
(Repent daily)
Goes with 24
Turn from our wicked ways daily.
(Repent daily )
The goal here is deliverance.
There are no contradictions in the KJV HOLY BIBLE.
In Jesus name, amen.
Sex is so important in marriage! It helps a husband and wife to feel connected both sexually and emotionally. I’m learning this in my own marriage.
@@yasminbagley909 totally!!!! Yes! How can my husband not understand this. Lord please open him up now. Heal him now. Heal this marriage. Please pour supernatural love all over us!
I myself am 6 months out of breast cancer treatment and going through menopause. i have been married for 33 yrs and really needed to hear this. It helps me realize that sex should still be made a prioriy even when our bodys are changing. No more using that as an excuse for me. God bless
Yes!
HELP! Talk to the pregnant wives, marriages with babies and toddlers. How to get through these seasons and make them kids leave us alone enough to have time for intimacy with each other! What are your major keys?
Yes!!
I’m here wondering the same thing! I’ve got two young kids, one still breastfeeding. My husband works daytime and I work 5 nights a week. I miss sex so much but I’m absolutely exhausted and we just don’t have any time together anymore 😢
Hubby and I have two kids, 7yo and nearly 2 yo. When we had one child, we'd explain to our child that we needed to have alone time and then would turn on youtube or let her do a craft lol she was already used to the idea of each of us already alone time with her so she understood uninterrupted time between me and my husband. When we had our second child, we put strict bed times and nap times in place, even on the weekends. After about a week or so the kids got used to the rhythm. Most times we try let the kids run out their energy before nap or bedtime so they're already tired and hubby and I can enjoy each other.
@@mtaulton51 Yes, consistency in routines, especially with babies and children, are immensely beneficial. My husband and I have two sons, aged 5 and 4, who still have consistent schedules since they were babies. They settle down for bed by 7:30 pm and happily sleep until 8-8:30 am. During these quiet hours, my husband and I cherish our time together ♥️. For those precious afternoon snuggle moments of intimacy, we kindly inform our boys that we need some alone time and lock our door. While they may no longer nap, we still do! 😊 Lol!
😂😂😂lock the door, send them to grandma or daycare, give them TV so u can have sex 😂😂
Love the transparency ken and tabatha❤
What kills me is that sex is so miss used every where around the world. God created it. And we should really pray over marriage that it continues and stays sacred like God said. Prayers 🙏🏽 and thank you for the segment.
A week??!! Imagine your husband not touching you for over 10 months and pretending like nothing is wrong
How’s your BMI (body mass index)? Not being mean.
Men are visual creatures. If you’re hygienic and visually appealing and he’s not having sex you, that’s a big issue.
Communicate with him to see why he isn’t initiating intimacy.
As a man who has studied, engaged a little (not trapped), uh, you need to make sure he is not hooked on p0rn.
My marriage has been sexless for over 7 years now. My wife and I had sex once or twice a year. I got so sick and tired of the rejection that I just stopped trying and started cheating. Something in me has broken and I like rejecting her now. She might try several times every other week and I reject her every time. Knowing that the rejection is hurting her makes me feel amazing because she put me through it for 7 years and didn't care about how it affected me. I'm very happy with the sex life I have with my side piece, and if I'm horny I'd rather jack off before giving my wife the pleasure. This is what her 7 years of almost 100% rejection did to me.
Yall are talking to me, it has not been my wife, but it has been me low sex drive and tired just like described. I belive this is God ordained and I'm going to use the tips yall gave.
You got this! 👏🏽
We are being robbed of our sexual needs. There is nothing
wrong for ME wanting sex in my marriage from my husband. I have been neglected. I begged my husband to get testosterone he finally got it and still it didn’t get him to change his mind an body. He has more energy for work but it’s like he can’t change his mind about sex. He needs to step into his healthy masculine. Lord I am praying everyday for a miracle! Please lord turn it around. Please 🙏🏽 Amen.
I enjoyed this one. It gave me a different look at sex with my husband. I've always looked at it as nessisary to connect. Now i see it more as enjoyment, not just a duty. I'm ready for part 2
We are glad this episode blessed you! :)
I do as God says but our bodies get exhausted. My husband is an energizer bunny literally he will go 3times a day sometimes you have to give us as woman some grace we do alot as , wives, and mothers. Don't get me wrong I enjoy it but Jesus has mercy and grace on us an men to as well. Great topic I love all of yall content it has truly been a blessing in my marriage learning from experienced couples. We are just going on 6yrs so your podcast is so helpful. Blessings on Blessings to you both!!❤❤❤
Tabatha, you look every bit of 29 girl! You look so good ❤. Thank you for this content !
That is such a beautiful point ‘do not deprive each other’.
I have heard so many stories where women will withhold sex from their husbands based on not being in the mood and the husband will say she is always not in the mood even after 10 years.
The man will keep trying to communicate their concerns just to be told. “Why are you so obsessed with sex I am fine if I never have it again and it’s not all about you.” This statement is truly selfish as the woman does not see she is not only depriving her husband of expressing his love and affection for his partner but she is also inadvertently depriving herself and also depriving their connection and oneness.
This causes their relationship to drift apart as the oneness cannot grow and man and woman are pulled apart into duality.
I am not just talking about sex here but all levels and types of intimacy and the dedication and loyalty to show true burning desire for your true love.
Men are electric, women are magnetic and together we burn bright like stars and are electromagnetic in nature.
Tabatha….. you are my girrrrrl😊😊😊.
I am currently waiting to be blessed with my husband, but already know that we will be getting it on.
I am learning so much in this single season. God bless you Ken and Tabatha🙏🏼
I'm married to a great woman for 32 years. The problem????? .....if I don't ask I don't get. It's really frustrating when you feel like your wife is not sexual and could care less about sex. Yes, we talked about the issue so many times. We'll have sex after an argument, but then when we don't argue or I ask, then I don't get. I'm tired of begging
Say it louder for those in the back who think that zero sex will result in anything except a miserable marriage or divorce. over 15 out of 22 years married, and zero for over 8. Not what I signed up for - no cheating, adopted kids still in the home - but just boggles the mind how she can think this is OK, and argue that it isn't a big deal and not important to her. Just depressing to think of the wasted years to only wind up splitting up after raising the kids - just because of choices instead of something NOT in control of either of us.
This was a much-needed conversation, so here are my thoughts. Men often hesitate to speak up when something is going on with their bodies, which leads them to withdraw or stay up late-at least in my experience after being married for 35-plus years. I'm sure it takes a toll on their confidence, but if the roles were reversed, I don’t believe men would be as gentle or understanding about the situation as women tend to be when it comes to a lack of intimacy. While there's no one-size-fits-all solution, men really need to improve their communication in this area because wives have needs too. Again, I enjoyed listening to this segment. Blessings.
Even scripture says to be apart for an agreed upon time to devote ourselves to the Lord then to return to each other so to not give the enemy a foothold because of your lack of self control. So even God knew men and women have a lack of self control and sometimes act like animals when it comes to sex 🫣. I struggle because sex in marriage seems to be treated like a right and less like a blessing and a privilege. Both have to work together to achieve oneness intimacy and sex. But one’s desires should not overshadow the other. Not to have sex or to not have sex. It should be treated with care love and attention for both husband and wife.
What about an aging hubby who avoids the doctor but has ED.
Sexless just means less frequency and less desire.
Investment is right.
Oftentimes, we get what we pay for, so stop being cheap as a spouse.
Lastly, as a believer, u must believe in God renewing your youth like the eagle.
Stop killing yourself off by seeing death and heaven as your only two goals in life.
Homewreckers and gold diggers are waiting on the sidelines, sorry to burst every one's bubble.
Go 2 weeks!!? I wish, try 2 years 😂
Women have the same frustrations.
Will you do the better marriage boot camp live?
Good word. Much needed. Thank you for the podcast Pastor. Refreshing. Holy Spirit Led. 🔥🔥🔥
Sex is bomb. To me it seems like in marriage the initiating point has to be creative 😊
What should a Christian m 4:24 an due when their spouse withholds and refuses to do anything nothing about it? What is one to do when they are starving but their spouse will not provide? Prayer and counseling have totally ineffective for me. I believe because my spouse doesn't want a sex life, with me or anyone else.
In the natural:
Hit the gym
eat clean
stay hygienic (showers, deodorant , hair cut/trimmed) to hopefully get her aroused by you.
Get her nutrient level/hormones checked because it may be biological.
In the spiritual:
pray and fast
Disclaimer:
I’m not saying you are to blame, but I don’t know anything about you so I’m giving generic information that can help if it applies to you
That’s good advice.
❤
I truly needed this podcast.
Yes…..a part 2, please!!!
Thank you for doing these videos, I hope to watch this with my wife this Saturday on our first date night, God bless you from Australia 🇦🇺.
Thank you for watching us all the way from Australia. We appreciate your support and I hope that the date night went really well.👏🏽
Thank you for your transparency.
this was fun to watch,almost made me get married today🤣
Ready ❤
33 months no sex from the wife 5+ years of marriage were are divorcing soon it's over
23:10 is hilarious 😂 overall I needed to hear this.
I usually feel some kind of by some of your episodes, but this one.... it was gooooood!!!! Amen!
I’m not even married and found the podcast but I’m sure it’s going to give me something to actually think about as I try to prepare for marriage
my wife needs to hear this..
I do appreciate the transparency, but every time I turn around he wants to talk about sex🤔 She said she was hurting took a pill pain and went on to please him. Why do we as women feel the need to do this.
@girlyourworthy I don't think pushing too much helps, I see your point. But maybe consider why is it so irritating for you to talk about it? Is it because it requires to be vulnerable?
The way I see her example with the pill, to me it sounds like a willingness to love.
We are using abstinence as a form of birth control. Its a real fear bc we are very fertile. It sucks!!
This is why people cheat. He’s getting no benefit physically.
Condoms exist and isn’t a sin since the sperm and egg haven’t merged. It’s not a life until they mix.
What a great conversation!
Ouhhh I can’t wait for next week!
Soo true. I was constantly rejected in my marriage. He was contacting other women. I couldn’t save the marriage. He couldn’t understand why I was so mad at him all the time.
This is something that immediately pops up on my radar when I hear the FEW details about your former situation. So, he’s not gay (because he was contacting other women) but he was also rejecting you🧐. For sure, he was hooked on p0rn. If you get into another relationship, before it gets serious, find out where he stands, was it a problem, IS it a current problem.
Hello Ken & Tabatha, I have a question: I am currently single and wondering if it is wrong to desire/yearn to get married just so I can have sex?
Love the podcast, so many gems preparing me for when I do get married one day😊
Hi it sounds like your following a temptation or could be mixing temptation in. Pray against the temptation and then you will be ready for marriage !! ❤
Thank you for this
You out here Teaching Tabatha!!
Awesome information
I am married for 20 years I am 54 years old and we don’t have sex for the last 4 years , she said is the menospausia but she don’t want to go to the doctor , I am done with this , we are like roommates, no kiss no hugs nothing, I don’t care if o lost my house but I want the divorce, I prefer be happy alone in apartment and be happy the rest of my life
Have a heart to heart with her! I pray both yall hearts are softened & the passion is reignited! Get marriage counseling & fight for ur marriage!!!!
Don’t throw in the towel, God can help you. Seek counseling.
Amen ❤👍
Now what about 😅those of us who are single ?
Pray & fast that you’ll meet a genuine believer who’s a good husband. It’s very tough for single people and sadly there’s no middle ground.
I am not sure why couples sync in sexual energy in the early days. But then one partner loses desire and sees sex as a chore and an obligation.
Another important thing to highlight is that it’s not just about sex but sacred sexual energy that attracts the sacred masculine and feline energies into oneness and unity. Expressing love and affection for each other on all levels is a true gift and so sacred.
This is what pains the partner that deals with being rejected sexually by their partner and that pain is compounded when dealing with ongoing rejection and even having your thoughts and feelings dismissed by the partner who does not desire to connect with you.
It is not just about physical connection but to connect to that sacred intimate oneness together!
Been sexless for 4 years Me and my only had sex twice this year and only 5 times the last 7 months I’m about to look elsewhere .
WOW!!!
Hi Ken and Tabatha, I would like to talk to you, can I have your email please?
Thank you God for helping my heart receive this 🥲