What Would Yahweh Do?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.3K

  • @grogery1570
    @grogery1570 7 ปีที่แล้ว +770

    This video does kind of explain why all those serial killers find God before they get executed. They will be right at home with God

    • @louistournas120
      @louistournas120 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Perhaps that god is real. Perhaps he was created billions of worlds in zillions of universes and he has a quitillionwilliamzillion humanoids to kill. Perhaps he enjoys his job and wants like minded people.

    • @reeferrotrandy458
      @reeferrotrandy458 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@louistournas120 underated af. That’s a funny theory

    • @oisin9533
      @oisin9533 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well to be fair I haven’t heard of a serial killer converting to Judaism… but what do I know?

    • @RetardedGaming-pf3rk
      @RetardedGaming-pf3rk 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Just like the Apostle Paul (who killed Christians before becoming one)

    • @oisin9533
      @oisin9533 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @RetardedGaming-pf3rk And then went on to write half of the Bible, and spread Catholicism to: Syria, Cyprus, Turkey and Greece.
      Shows you that God’s mercy is for everyone. Even though people have done awful things, guilt is only destructive.

  • @TheACG22
    @TheACG22 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1721

    Wow, you uploaded this 7 years ago? I was actually still a Christian back then. Could have used a good dose of this.

    • @TheACG22
      @TheACG22 8 ปีที่แล้ว +115

      ***** Funny you say that. There actually was a video (can't remember) where I was trying to "rationally" defend religion, and someone, years later, made a rebuttal in my thread. Since then, I had come to my senses and said something to the effect of "Yeah... I don't really believe that BS anymore.."

    • @stevemerrick5198
      @stevemerrick5198 8 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      Me too mate! Wow it's just unbelievable once you take a step back and look at this insanity. I mean, God is love??! Not even close. If he does ilex it's he's a murderous psychopath that treats us in a most awful manner. Luckily for us we don't need to worry about the Abrahamic God because he doesn't exist. Now I can sleep better..

    • @LuciernagaTTS
      @LuciernagaTTS 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Welcome to the club ;)

    • @louistournas120
      @louistournas120 7 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Kids today are lucky.
      I became an atheist back when there was no internet and most homes did not have a PC. I was 11 or 12 years old. It was about 1989. On top of that, I was in a christian school. 1 christian class per week.

    • @markriley5784
      @markriley5784 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What made you realize the need to deprogram?

  • @dinohall2595
    @dinohall2595 4 ปีที่แล้ว +431

    Top 10 NonStampCollector videos (imho):
    10. Bible Slavery: TOTALLY DIFFERENT
    9. What Would Jesus NOT Do?
    8. Cooking with Yahweh
    7. Yahweh's Amazing Test (Abraham, Genesis 22)
    6. The Gospel of Luke [The Alternative Facts Gospel]
    5. Jephthah (Judges 11)
    4. What Would Yahweh Do? (aka this video)
    3. Noah's Ark (Part 2)
    2. Noah's Ark (Part 1)
    Honorable mentions: literally ALL of his videos, but mainly "Jesus: The Cover-Up," "Special Investigation: Evolution," "Quiz Show: HITLER: THE ATHEIST," "ATHEIST!!!," "Yahweh's Amazing Miracle," "Yahweh's Perfect Justice" and "Yahweh's Perfect Justice (part 2)"
    1. Quiz Show: Bible Contradictions (I mean, could it really be anything else? Greatest video in TH-cam history!)

    • @goranmilic442
      @goranmilic442 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm still waiting for when God killed 70000 innocent people because David count population of Israel/census.

    • @Ninja-lu4dg
      @Ninja-lu4dg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Thank you kind stranger. I will definitely check out the ones I haven't watched yet.

    • @randyjenkins6165
      @randyjenkins6165 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I know it might be asking a lot but I’d love to see Nonstampcollector’s take on The Book of Revelations, as either one long video or like a series- and personally, the “High Stakes” video is way up there for me too.

    • @radekmilewicz6192
      @radekmilewicz6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Mine would be (without the walkthrough videos):
      10. Jesus the cover-up
      9. Noah's Ark 1
      8. Noah's Ark 2
      7. Yahweh's amazing miracle
      6. Evolution debate
      5. Hitler can't help you
      4. Bible Slavery: Totally Different
      3. Context
      2. What would Yahweh do?
      1. Quiz show: Bible Contradictions

    • @StamfordBridge
      @StamfordBridge 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Bible Slavery is the best one I’ve seen so far, with Game Show Contradictions next. So clever .

  • @Rhamsody
    @Rhamsody 10 ปีที่แล้ว +421

    I love your "angry Yahweh" animation! It's like the only way the scriptures fit in any context.

    • @howdougetoutofhere
      @howdougetoutofhere 9 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      +Rhamsody Phage It is the word of "god". How could anyone deny that?

    • @ShutterGuts
      @ShutterGuts 9 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      +Time for Fun yeah how does a stupid, impatient, death obsessed, unforgiven, narcissistic, blood thirsty, inconsequent, split personality God not fit in the mind of any rational thinking person???

    • @irvinlovesjesus
      @irvinlovesjesus 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ShutterGuts I hope God has mercy on you man. Just believe and trust on Jesus and live&love

    • @vic7763
      @vic7763 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Irvin Vargas brainwashed.

    • @Schneeregen_
      @Schneeregen_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@irvinlovesjesus Are we talking about the same Jesus that said to hate your family?

  • @Ricocossa1
    @Ricocossa1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +870

    "You had a haircut and lost your strength? What is this a fricking Disney movie?" XD

    • @louistournas120
      @louistournas120 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      That's exactly what it is. It is a fantasy. Something that you will never observe in reality. There is nothing wrong with fantasy stories. do enjoy, Superman, Batman, Robocop, Back tot he future.
      The problem is that the majority of the world takes that to be real.

    • @themasteremerald5509
      @themasteremerald5509 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I legit died when he said that! 😂 The whole video had me lmao!!🤣

    • @abbabeththehamster4320
      @abbabeththehamster4320 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      And this was made well over a full year before Tangled came out!

    • @joelalexander5338
      @joelalexander5338 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@louistournas120 I know! I grew up in a household that took it all literally. It was truly all lies from antiquity to control ignorant people, so it was presented as true to original audiences. I’m turning fifty this year, and still am treated as an unthinking, willful sinner by my family, that should always have Scripture told to me or sent through text, etc., due to my inability to believe the nonsense.

    • @joelalexander5338
      @joelalexander5338 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@themasteremerald5509 You legitimately died? That’s terrible! There must be an afterlife then!

  • @GenerationX1984
    @GenerationX1984 10 ปีที่แล้ว +427

    When will Christians accept that Yahweh is just an Israelite war god and that the ancient Israelite people were polytheistic Canaanites? Haven't they ever watched The Bible's Buried Secrets or opened up an archaeology magazine?

    • @joecurran2811
      @joecurran2811 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Chris Nilsson No.

    • @unclekanethetiberiummain1994
      @unclekanethetiberiummain1994 6 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Blood for the blood god, skulls for the skull throne!

    • @ihsanmb
      @ihsanmb 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What is The Bible's Buried Secret. A documentary?

    • @ToutCQJM
      @ToutCQJM 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      ihsanmb yes. It’s on Netflix now

    • @kevin6293
      @kevin6293 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      There’s no evidence that YHWH was a war god.

  • @puffthemagicsativa3784
    @puffthemagicsativa3784 8 ปีที่แล้ว +512

    i have not watched it yet but im betting he kills someone

    • @NonStampCollector
      @NonStampCollector  8 ปีที่แล้ว +238

      Close. He causes someone's rectum to fall out of their anus.

    • @puffthemagicsativa3784
      @puffthemagicsativa3784 8 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      lol i think thats worse

    • @wafflingmean4477
      @wafflingmean4477 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Just one? Lol

    • @avf6532
      @avf6532 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Understatement of the decade

    • @katanah3195
      @katanah3195 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      he kills everyone.

  • @catfishcave379
    @catfishcave379 7 ปีที่แล้ว +591

    "Like father like son..." I almost fell off the chair laughing.

    • @djinnjax3274
      @djinnjax3274 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I think the apple fell pretty far from the tree.

    • @gimmekromer1151
      @gimmekromer1151 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@djinnjax3274 The apple probably was yeeted from the tree at hight speed until it reached mars

    • @goddessateeba6158
      @goddessateeba6158 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol😭😭😭😂😂😂

  • @roddydykes7053
    @roddydykes7053 8 ปีที่แล้ว +560

    "It's gonna have to be a friggen' massive wall but I'll manage" lmao

    • @GuitarDog_atx
      @GuitarDog_atx 7 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      wow louis, that's pretty brutal and morbid.
      ....have you been reading the bible or sitting in church or something?

    • @Korkzorz
      @Korkzorz 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It's details like those that make these videos so great

    • @louistournas120
      @louistournas120 7 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      +Guitar dog:
      Yes, the bible (also koran and talmud) is a good source of violent creativity.
      Churches are crap. They talk about peace and love. A lot of preachers talk about peace and love. Marshall Applewhite and Bonny Nettle from Heaven's gate. Various "gurus" from India talk about peace and love.
      It makes more sense to kill your enemies, pile them in the village center, take their virgin girls like the bible says. Why not take their skulls and put it on my car hood as an ornament? If the bible was written in modern times, that's what Moses would have wanted.

    • @GuitarDog_atx
      @GuitarDog_atx 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      totally agree LT, it's violence without any boundaries by god's Chosen people. what is amazing is how they can preach this shit with a straight face. And how the sheep sitting in church can just glance over not just the murders and the foreskin ransoms, but the eternal pain and suffering that people (who god does love) will receive if they doubt god's "love".
      i know some people want answers as to why we are here, and what happens when we die - but this is ridiculous. Compassion is my religion right now.

    • @koichidignitythief7429
      @koichidignitythief7429 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I love how they say we cherrypick this stuff when in nearly every chapter someone is being slaughtered in the name of God, or by God himself.

  • @abithefallenhuman921
    @abithefallenhuman921 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    You know what they say, God works in delirious ways.

  • @kcwidman
    @kcwidman 7 ปีที่แล้ว +522

    Within the last years I have abandoned my faith in exchange for truth, but I have never really gotten into these biblical monstrosities. I'm am literally sick to my stomach. Thank you for the information!

    • @robertmitchell8630
      @robertmitchell8630 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kai Widman I can help you reach nirvana
      into deep meditation you can annihilate the ego that is annihilate the Maya or illusion
      hot or cold
      profit or loss
      praise or criticism
      accept them as the same they all illusionary

    • @ronburgandy5006
      @ronburgandy5006 7 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Kai Widman
      Yep. It's all in there. For 30 years I've heard nothing but cherry-picked verses at church. Never once did I hear the likes of Deuteronomy 21 18-21...Wonder why, maybe because the kiddies would be screaming and running for the door in fear for their lives. Read that one, it's a real heart-warming gem....one the whole family can enjoy!!!!!.
      PS: The more I studied and read, the less I "Believed"....It's the fastest way to dis-belief. Some of that shit, Jeffrey Dahmer wouldn't have even thought of...some of it is the writings of a psycho, not a loving god.

    • @ojonasar
      @ojonasar 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Good to hear you are free.

    • @mrcurly1147
      @mrcurly1147 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Another ex cultist.

    • @Vic2point0
      @Vic2point0 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      "I have abandoned my faith in exchange for truth"
      So your making the claim that there is no god. What is your argument in support of this claim?

  • @jmcsquared18
    @jmcsquared18 6 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    5:39 "You could almost mistake you and me as being the same person." I laughed like an idiot, that was rich.

  • @mnamhie
    @mnamhie ปีที่แล้ว +75

    Every ... single ... video .... every one on this channel CRACKS ME UP! So well done. Excellent job. Should be mandatory viewing in every church on Sundays. That'll snap those deluded congregants out of their stupors of credulity.

  • @hairyfella
    @hairyfella 11 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    All this smiting, killing, and ass kicking makes me want to buy the bible.

    • @boomerkeighley4047
      @boomerkeighley4047 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I found the american standard for free as a .Pdf from some Christian site, be weary of a virus.

    • @TheRobdarling
      @TheRobdarling 7 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      hairyfella you can steal one anytime at any hotel...

  • @GuitarDog_atx
    @GuitarDog_atx 7 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    "woops"
    that's literally what god said after he made man.

    • @jim.h
      @jim.h 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually, he should have said that after he made Satan????

  • @cramerfloro5936
    @cramerfloro5936 6 ปีที่แล้ว +181

    my favorite part was at 3:03
    "AH, MY BOWELS FELL OUT! OH MY GOD, HE MADE MY BOWELS FALL OUT!" and Yahweh just laughs maniacally

  • @glittersparkle5148
    @glittersparkle5148 6 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    Lol. I am a new subscriber.
    I am so in love with this channel explaining the inconsistency of the bible. People need to review what God they are truly paying homage to.

  • @diningomane8894
    @diningomane8894 3 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    I've been an atheist for about 6 months now and never in my 18 years of life has my mental state been so good and clear.❤this channel as well as The Four Horsemen and other atheist TH-camrs really got me through some dark days❤❤THANK YOU.

  • @Coppergasm
    @Coppergasm 12 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    "You had a haircut and lost your strength? What is this? A freakin' Disney movie?"

  • @Onganana
    @Onganana 10 ปีที่แล้ว +229

    It's even clearer that Yahweh is an imaginary lunatic when you made this cartoon.
    Nice.

    • @shalomsinclair6988
      @shalomsinclair6988 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This cartoon proves he's a lunatic but this cartoon doesn't prove he's imaginary

    • @jorbore1413
      @jorbore1413 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      👌

    • @loooooopy
      @loooooopy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@shalomsinclair6988 unless you've got proof he exists I'll presume they're imaginary

    • @gimmekromer1151
      @gimmekromer1151 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@shalomsinclair6988 i hope he is not real lol

  • @KingShahJahan
    @KingShahJahan 7 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    @ 4:34 You killed 100,000 Arameans? Great! But 27,000 escaped?! Ahhh! I'll kill them by causing a wall to fall on them. It's gonna be a freaking massive wall; but I'll manage!

  • @frey5175
    @frey5175 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    14 years already. god dayum. Youll always be the goat!

    • @NonStampCollector
      @NonStampCollector  ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I've got a beard but it isn't that long.

    • @CaptainGarcia376
      @CaptainGarcia376 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@NonStampCollectorthank you for still keeping up with the comments

  • @holdenroberts6973
    @holdenroberts6973 7 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    And then Jesus was put on a cross, because the humans were sick to death of God-related incidents...

  • @sweettanner6752
    @sweettanner6752 6 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Damn, I've been called things by kids when I was in the middle of walking home from work. That doesn't mean they deserved to be mauled to death a two bears.

    • @theoffchannel2054
      @theoffchannel2054 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I know! One bear is enough!
      (I'm kidding! They should be told that saying mean things is wrong and why, not get fucking killed!)

    • @isawadelapradera6490
      @isawadelapradera6490 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Infidel! The bear taketh what the bear giveth.

  • @trapadvisor
    @trapadvisor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Ah what a loving caring god. He’s an inspiration to us all

  • @chairmanofrussia
    @chairmanofrussia 9 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    lol the bald guy one was hilarious xD I also love the way you made his eyes when he all like "wuut?" xD

  • @wwjudasdo
    @wwjudasdo 11 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Glad to hear. I was in my late twenties when I heard a preacher say "there is not one contradiction in the bible". Surely I thought, someone would disagree. That was the moment I started to think for myself. I'm sure you'll get a christian answer for the iron chariots if you search for it. Probably something to do with context or god's will. Never forget, they can pull answers/excuses out of their ass when faced with rational thought, evidence and logic.

  • @FGuilt
    @FGuilt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I miss the old creative you tubers. Vids like this are timeless.

  • @NFSlugger13
    @NFSlugger13 9 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    "Why the hell would you love your enemies?" My favorite line. Thanks for all the great videos, NSC -- they're always good for a laugh. More importantly, they may get people thinking about the biblical atrocities/absurdities that their parents/pastors 'conveniently' forgot to tell them about.

    • @aymericst-louis-gabriel8314
      @aymericst-louis-gabriel8314 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      NFSlugger13 I wish atheists would observe the Bible the same way one is expected to observe nature. With a little bit more tolerable for nuance and complexity ..?

    • @irvinlovesjesus
      @irvinlovesjesus 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Iloveapplefritters sad.

    • @wafflingmean4477
      @wafflingmean4477 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@aymericst-louis-gabriel8314 If you ever get cancer or ebola make sure to tolerate the nuances and complexities within nature. Do not at all be upset or angry that your life is going to be cut short. Think you can manage that? No? Then we'll keep calling out atrocities when we find them. Fuck tolerating "nuance complexity".

    • @dabla6768
      @dabla6768 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And there's a contradicting verse telling you to love your enemies

    • @gimmekromer1151
      @gimmekromer1151 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@aymericst-louis-gabriel8314 lol no that book doesnt deserve tolerance

  • @neilgoloy3582
    @neilgoloy3582 7 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Great video as usual. You have an uncanny talent for flushing out the frigging absurdities of the bible for all to see. Thank you so much! :-)

  • @Joshua-hq7my
    @Joshua-hq7my 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    4:20 ;) “What? You had a haircut and lost your strength? What is this a freaking Disney Movie?”
    i mean... Mulan had opposite results

  • @Coppergasm
    @Coppergasm 12 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    "You had a haircut and lost you strength? What is this, a frickin' Disney movie?" Brilliant.

  • @ericklopes4046
    @ericklopes4046 8 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    They created such a great mechanism to rule people. A mechanism where they are punished if they doubt or disbelieve. The Religious Faith Conspiracy is the greatest conspiracy I have ever seen.
    The only reason I became an atheist was because of dissident allies saying funny things like "God is an atheist" "God can't create a rock he can't lift" "read the bible, there is plenty shit written" "What if the one true God is any other God?" "Don't you need your memories to be who are? Aren't they in your brain?"
    What if wasn't there any dissident ally at all?
    What if I was raised in a fundamentalist family? What if I became a powerful politician? Could I have committed any atrocity?

    • @ojonasar
      @ojonasar 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And if you are a Muslim, rejecting Allah is a death sentence.

    • @Scroteydada
      @Scroteydada 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "You can't go south of the south pole" along with "can God create a rock he can't lift" form a good case.

    • @irvinlovesjesus
      @irvinlovesjesus 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/1IAhDGYlpqY/w-d-xo.html

  • @paultaliesin1862
    @paultaliesin1862 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    What a strangely missed opportunity… surely at the end there, having been embarrassed by Jesus, Yahweh should finish off his angry killing spree by making one final phone call and ordering his death? That would be a great finale.

  • @pop5678eye
    @pop5678eye 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Yes the old WWJD... As long as you don't forget that according to the Bible Jesus also threatens you with eternal torture and fire unless you pledge your unquestioning obedience to him by professing your 'belief' in him.

  • @stevemerrick5198
    @stevemerrick5198 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Love your work non stamp collector! Pointing out the absurdities that somehow you get brainwashed with and some luckily escape to see the craziness. Keep them coming they're gold!!!

  • @Official_Kezzie
    @Official_Kezzie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    For those who are wondering
    The first violent song in the background is “Uranus, The Magician” by Gustav Holst

  • @Alchemistic88
    @Alchemistic88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    5:14 God is so disappointed that Jesus is such a good person 😂

  • @tentenmedia
    @tentenmedia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The biggest irony is that most churches urges it's members to read the Bible all day every day - you know they're not reading it because if only they did, most would become unbelievers overnight. The genocide of Egyptian first born was my turning point...funny we never ever hear much about this angel of death again throughout the rest of Bible and nobody seems to question this obsession with blood and genocidal deaths

    • @souzajustin19d
      @souzajustin19d 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I would agree with you, if those people did not deserve it. Since they did deserve it, I don't see anything wrong it.

    • @yeoseotidle2290
      @yeoseotidle2290 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@souzajustin19d thousands of babies deserve to be killed for something that one guy did?

    • @p.a.681
      @p.a.681 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@souzajustin19d ...yes, all the BABIES (whose only "crime" was being born to enemies of Israel) murdered by the Christian god "deserved it". A bunch of kids deserved to be MAULED by bears simply for laughing at a bald prophet. Whatever helps you sleep at night, I guess.

    • @benclark4823
      @benclark4823 ปีที่แล้ว

      The angel of death 💀 is found multiple times in the Bible 😈

  • @bleirdo_dude
    @bleirdo_dude 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The unforgivable sin is that this video only has 305K views.

  • @NonStampCollector
    @NonStampCollector  12 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Learn spelling and punctuation while YOU still have time.
    Be specific - which parts are garbage? Spare me the threats of hellfire and explain to me what's wrong.

    • @Scroteydada
      @Scroteydada 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      NonStampCollector It's weird seeing these responses from before TH-cam introduced a proper reply system. It's like finding an arrowhead under your picnic blanket.

    • @Jessegalang
      @Jessegalang 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Harry Willmore Nice analogy. Mind if I use it for my own stuff?

    • @fredworthmn
      @fredworthmn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I liked your video. The masses of Christians don't think of god as being angry in reality, but your depiction is very much in keeping with the actual words of the bible. I like that you often come up with a very real slant that I had not thought of. It is my loss that I only came upon your videos last year (maybe the year before) and you seem to have stopped making them.

  • @Xerion1
    @Xerion1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I couldn't breath, this is gold 😂

  • @jojocapone4861
    @jojocapone4861 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I love how the camera kept switching back to Yahweh's frowny face as Jesus talked about love and forgiveness.. 😂😂

  • @identityvskywalker8379
    @identityvskywalker8379 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    in 21st century, if anyone claims to be the son of god, people will treat him as a egoistic maniac; 2000 years ago, 1 person did the exact same thing, and we worship him???

  • @christine8459
    @christine8459 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    How in the world did my 15 year old self read the Bible and said oh wow, Christian God is truly loving. I never forgotten the one with Elijah, the children and the she-bears. But my mind just made some excuses to make that justified. I can't believe I read all these violent stories and went on as if they're all right because it is a "holy book" that I must follow all my life.

    • @SergeantExtreme
      @SergeantExtreme ปีที่แล้ว +3

      At least you're in the know now.

  • @dreday6320
    @dreday6320 9 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Jesus this has to be one of the funniest ones lol. I love all of them man. make more lol

    • @ShutterGuts
      @ShutterGuts 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +Dre Day me to, it's genius. i am imagining putting this stuff up on big screens in front of churches so they feel so stupid.

    • @dreday6320
      @dreday6320 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ShutterGuts lol ikr. Let's see what there come back would be. "But the bible says" lol

  • @MsPoliteRants
    @MsPoliteRants 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I like how TH-cam recommends me these 10 years later.... after Im already an atheist lol. Of course, I doubt my believing friends or family would even watch these.

  • @elroyfudbucker6806
    @elroyfudbucker6806 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Every day, I thank dog that I'm a dyslexic atheist. High stakes intelligent designing would have to be my favourite Non Stamp Collector video.

  • @matron9936
    @matron9936 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I should read the bible. It would be an amazing crazy fiction book.

  • @hawwaamaryam
    @hawwaamaryam 9 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    this is so hilarious, but accurate!👌

  • @bigjared420
    @bigjared420 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This has and will continue to age like fine wine

  • @blacksuperman9891
    @blacksuperman9891 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Here, feel THIS!!

    • @NonStampCollector
      @NonStampCollector  5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Is that the bit when his asshole falls out of itself?

    • @blacksuperman9891
      @blacksuperman9891 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@NonStampCollector Lmao. that is correct.

    • @keys1965
      @keys1965 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      the video is uploaded a decade a go and your still checking comments.

  • @JustMarioBros
    @JustMarioBros 12 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor.

  • @DemstarAus
    @DemstarAus 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    The "HAHAHAHA- AUGH" after the disembowelment always makes me giggle.

  • @bekacynthia
    @bekacynthia 12 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    just brilliant...you should honestly be the next "pastor" preaching at churches...you surely know the bible and you would be a great teacher and you would surely open their eyes...of course, u would probably be stoned to death as a result...

  • @adelphoslewis3607
    @adelphoslewis3607 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    1:54 is my favourite joke in all of NSC’s videos. Subtle enough I didn’t even pick up on it the first few times I watched, but perfectly sums up the absurdity and backwardness of Yahweh’s ‘morality’

  • @goddessateeba6158
    @goddessateeba6158 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You are absolutely amazing and a pure genius I love this content. Your videos helped me to move away from religions. It really seperates us as humans and when I actually read the Bible it's like a fairytale of contradictions, lying, murders, and even my children said it only gave them nightmares.

  • @guthrie_the_wizard
    @guthrie_the_wizard 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Could we all just PLEASE just chip in a few bucks on Patreon for NonStampCollector such that he has no choice but to produce a bunch of content again?! I just personally committed a pretty solid amount monthly to this end.
    His videos are absolutely superb and freakin hilarious!

    • @NonStampCollector
      @NonStampCollector  4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      This is very kind, and I appreciate it very much but do note that my Patreon is NOT set up to accept monthly money, only when I upload.

    • @guthrie_the_wizard
      @guthrie_the_wizard 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      NonStampCollector True - but if you have a large potential pot of moolah waiting you, my hope is that it will inspire and more more content creation. Your videos are brilliant- literally discussing them with someone right now!

    • @NonStampCollector
      @NonStampCollector  4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And it's worth noting that me producing videos is a function of time, not monetary incentive. Three kids and full time work.

    • @guthrie_the_wizard
      @guthrie_the_wizard 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      NonStampCollector I say ditch the job and re-direct your time! Do you realize how important these videos are for so many people? I live in the Bible Belt now and it’s crazy here.....

    • @islamdefenderyahya4621
      @islamdefenderyahya4621 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@NonStampCollector i am a Muslim who Expose the Bible & you are Just Fantastic, Beside you are exposing the False teaching of the bible as We Muslims Do not think this is the teaching of a True Merciful God , May God Bless you and ur Family .

  • @TheBboySpooky
    @TheBboySpooky 12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    @ArdenKuan Excellent point sir, with two main drawbacks: 1. No-one can spend 100+ years building something, and 2. No one can live for 900+ years. Yes, these are technically the same point, but I figured it was a big enough flaw that it warranted repeating.

  • @tracysimon7972
    @tracysimon7972 ปีที่แล้ว

    I've just learned of this channel a couple of days ago, and I have been binging them since!!!!

  • @Thomassique
    @Thomassique 8 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    What ever happened to "Thou shall not kill"? LOL ;-)

    • @willmaud2359
      @willmaud2359 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      In the Hebrew Torah it is thou shall not murder. The Torah differentiates murder from killing based on justification. So the law could also be stated as, thou shall not kill without justification. Hebrew is complicated and very hard to translate without some meaning being lost.

    • @theoffchannel2054
      @theoffchannel2054 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The Bible also says pride, wrath, and jealousy are sins. He's not setting a good example.

    • @theoffchannel2054
      @theoffchannel2054 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@willmaud2359 was there justification for killing infants and children on several occasions?

    • @fredworthmn
      @fredworthmn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The commandments only refer to their fellow Jews / Israelites. You must kill anyone outside of the tribes if they displease you. If a member of the tribe violates the commandments they are outside of the tribe and must be killed. This is not a universal command.

    • @Robbie32
      @Robbie32 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yea, that law was broken literally minutes after it was announced.

  • @tubian323
    @tubian323 15 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I used to be one of them, a Christian who tried to justify the god of the bible. Then after seeing this and other videos my mind was freed, it was pretty awesome!

  • @Kevin-cm5kc
    @Kevin-cm5kc 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    'What? You got a haircut and lost your strength? What is this, a frickin Disney movie?'
    That line gets me everytime

  • @rooty
    @rooty หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    "he blasphemed... Luckily nobody was hurt" I'm fucking dead lol

  • @cloudsweapon567
    @cloudsweapon567 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    It makes sense why God crucified his own son.

  • @innerguardianXIII
    @innerguardianXIII 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    And then Jesus thought "The Apple doesn't fall far from the Tree".

  • @kate32201
    @kate32201 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "He blasphemed. We know it's a serious sin and luckily no one was hurt" hahahahahahaha my stomach fucking hurts

  • @TheLobsterCopter5000
    @TheLobsterCopter5000 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    2:09 The sincerity in his voice here is honestly really impressive.

  • @wolfumz
    @wolfumz 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    In the early Christian church, an early leader named Marcion of Sinope read the gospels, read the Old Testament, and decided that they _must_ have been taking about two different Gods. The two were so contradictory, that they could not logically be the same entity.
    Marcion was bitterly hated by the rest of the early church, who labeled marcion a heretic. But many agreed a with Marion's interpretation.
    We take this for granted now, but in Marcion's time, this is hundreds of years before a Cannon Bible existed. Only 2% of people could read, and everything had to be hand copied at great expense. It was really difficult to talk to people about this stuff and exchange ideas.
    So critical reading was a lot harder back then, than today. It wasn't a trivial task, putting together all the contradictions. Even so, all of Gnosticism bloomed out of the recognition that the God and of the OT and the NT God cannot logically be the same. One of sects, Manichaesm, at its peak, was actually larger than Christianity, by a long shot.
    It's just funny how, even with people having to read handwritten scrolls and all the disadvantages of the ancient world, people still saw the contradictions. Yet Christians today are blind to it.

  • @chairmanofrussia
    @chairmanofrussia 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I love the way he portrayed the bald guy :3 just some random bald guy calls in sobbing, and then the look on the bald guy's face when he says "WHAT?"

  • @otonanoC
    @otonanoC 15 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I laughed so hard I was in tears.
    Prior to watching this video, I already knew about most of these ridiculous passages in the Old Testament. Thank Odin that someone else found them like I did and realized how how insane they are.

  • @keith8880
    @keith8880 13 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I want to see a god of war type game based on the bible

    • @newguy6491
      @newguy6491 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Itll b way too violent unfortunately

  • @hax6112
    @hax6112 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Don't get hung up on Old Testament details like an atheist would, OK?

    • @ryanimpink13
      @ryanimpink13 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Why not? It's the bedrock of this awful religion.

    • @hax6112
      @hax6112 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@ryanimpink13 You just have to look at it in its cultural context...or something...

    • @TheArkman360
      @TheArkman360 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ryanimpink13 It's a quote from this video:
      th-cam.com/video/tz3EEqtcJME/w-d-xo.html

    • @ryanimpink13
      @ryanimpink13 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@TheArkman360 Ahhhhh thanks! I earned a Whoooooooosh! 🤦‍♂️

    • @TheArkman360
      @TheArkman360 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ryanimpink13 Yeah, lol.

  • @OverZeelous
    @OverZeelous 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This was the first video I saw, it was in my TH-cam recommended a while ago and I figured "a video from 10+ years ago? may as well peer back into the oh so distant era every now and then", and it spiraled into me binging through every video on the channel (save for the Sticky Side videos). Your content has further grounded and given support to my atheism, so much so that I consider myself to be an anti-theist as well.
    Wherever you are or whatever you're up to nowadays NSC, I hope you are doing well, along with your kids.

  • @WoodlandWarrior95
    @WoodlandWarrior95 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    3:22 😂 the way he says yes is priceless

  • @ItachiAli1993
    @ItachiAli1993 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    OMG this is too funny. Damn it I'm in stitches

  • @bostongalden1171
    @bostongalden1171 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "No. I can't do it. Some people called you bad names and they deserve to die THOSE LITTLE BAAASTARDS!!!..."🤣😂😅👍

  • @rookierookierookie
    @rookierookierookie 12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This one ALWAYS leaves me in tears.

  • @manofgod7622
    @manofgod7622 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is my favourite video, thank you for the work

  • @gabrieljordan8015
    @gabrieljordan8015 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It's weird - when people call me 'baldy' I usually just take it as a compliment. I generally don't wish death on them.

    • @fidelluz2942
      @fidelluz2942 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      why not? you can pray to God send 2 bears to kill then

  • @commanderwaddles3483
    @commanderwaddles3483 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    If you could do a collaboration on some TH-cam project with DarkMatter2525, that would be fucking fantastic!

  • @zyrover
    @zyrover 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This video is still as funny now as it was several years ago. God is definitely a bloodthirsty psychopath!

  • @nananou1687
    @nananou1687 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You've got to make more of these

  • @skyechen2673
    @skyechen2673 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1:04 I love when a TH-camr uses Mars, the Bringer of War in their videos. I love classical music. And this is an awesome video as always!
    1:43 OOOOH, it's Saturn! I love the Planets Suite!!!

  • @JustMarioBros
    @JustMarioBros 12 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Since you like hypothetical scenarios, I'll give you one.
    A man points a gun at you and tells you that if you don't give him your money, you will die. People have free will and they can choose to obey the robber's commands, or not. Robbers do not kill people. People choose to die by choosing to disobey the robber. The robber is not a bad person if he shoots you, he is a nice and caring person who for his own reason thinks that this is fair. Getting shot is up to you, but don't blame the gunman.

  • @Mrhaoable
    @Mrhaoable 11 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    haha , nice . I never pictured it this way , u have a very vivid imagination .

    • @cinnamonperoxide2161
      @cinnamonperoxide2161 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nah man they didn’t imagine this. STRAIGHT FROM THE SOURCE

  • @d4rk4x3l3
    @d4rk4x3l3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'll just say... there was a guy named... Marcion or something. He preached that the God of the Old Testament (which wasn't called that at the time, there was no Bible at all, he's the guy who basically made the christians invent it!) WASN'T the "father of Jesus", it was an evil God (which we don't even need to discuss, you... kinda showed us why).
    He preached that the God that sent Jesus was a good one that wanted to save us from that Evil God.
    Makes you wonder why those people back then couldn't see such a simple thing. Jesus said one thing, and the God of the old testament said the complete opposite. Pathetic, isn't it? I'm happy I found my way out of religion in time...

  • @fixpontt
    @fixpontt 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    this videos is a proof for one of the most challenging theological question: did youtube exist 15 years ago?

    • @timothywilliams8530
      @timothywilliams8530 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I think that's when pewdiepie was popular

  • @truthbknwn
    @truthbknwn 12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "yall will face the wrath of God..eventually" The concept of slaughtering dissidents to one's rule is UTTERLY EVIL. It's neither loving nor respecting of free will. The real God doesn't have to use threats such as this, bcuz the real God is SECURE in who He/She/It is, and doesn't go into fits of rage and killing sprees when He is feeling frustrated and out of control. Those are the most debased of human behaviors and have nothing to do with the real Creator.

  • @richNfit4life
    @richNfit4life 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What would have been cool, in Stargate SG1, was to have had yet another System Lord named Yahweh along with his First Prime Yeshua and his twelve Jaffa.

  • @anrose8335
    @anrose8335 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    God: What is this? A freaking Disney movie? lol

  • @ghimdo-triom-phi1591
    @ghimdo-triom-phi1591 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hahahaha "I'll be right down there so you can CUT HIM TO PIECES IN FRONT OF ME!!!!" Too funny.

  • @JustMarioBros
    @JustMarioBros 12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    (6)
    There is a notable difference between the opinion of scientists and that of the general public in the United States. A 2009 poll by Pew Research Center found that "Nearly all scientists (97%) say humans and other living things have evolved over time - 87% say evolution is due to natural processes, such as natural selection. The dominant position among scientists - that living things have evolved due to natural processes - is shared by only about third (32%) of the public."
    cont

  • @TheJo4an
    @TheJo4an 12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    @ArdenKuan Historically (say.. 200+ years ago?) speaking, man made health hazards such as contaminants, radiation and pollution has little/nothing to do with the average life expectancy. Because they didn't exist until later.
    Still, even today, with all the technology, medicine, yoga-classes etc etc, would you not think that maybe, just maybe, someone would live to be 130 years old once in a while? If the age to "beat" is 600+?

  • @kyleereynolds6016
    @kyleereynolds6016 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I'm looking for more athiest friends

  • @martingouws3876
    @martingouws3876 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Are you sure God wasn't referring to Geoffrey Baratheon when he said "It's almost like we're the same person"?

  • @evolvedaustin4230
    @evolvedaustin4230 11 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    It really says that in the bible!

  • @WeTheStrange
    @WeTheStrange 12 ปีที่แล้ว

    What a scream your videos are. They never fail to have me rolling around on the floor in paroxysms of mirth, tears streaming down my face!!

  • @JustMarioBros
    @JustMarioBros 12 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's good to see ArdenKuan being put in his place. Much props to you guys for having the patience.

  • @gabrieljordan8015
    @gabrieljordan8015 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Just to be clear - Satan is the bad guy for asking Eve to eat a fresh healthy snack?

    • @spongebobexistentialpants2747
      @spongebobexistentialpants2747 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      And to this day men dread the answer when asking a women what they should eat.... "anything" and look where we are now😉🤣 smh