Can someone tell me the level of english of this book?? I really want to read it but it's not translated in my language and I'm not completely fluent in English. I can understand everything in tv shows, fanfics TH-cam videos etc but I don't know if I would understand "fancy" words and "fancy" writing if u know what I mean :) thanks
@@beatrizafonso8673 English is also not my first language and there are terms that I had to research to understand the context but overall, I think it’s pretty understandable.
@@beatrizafonso8673 just use a dictionary sometimes.... It'll be easy. English is not my first language either but I read it anyway got to learn a lot of new words.
Ffion Sian Grant This may sound super strange but when I decided to read this book I was going through a rough patch and for some reason, reading a book that was SO sad actually made me feel better because it allowed me to focus my sadness and anxiety into these fictional characters instead of my own life. And once I finished the book (and sobbed my eyes out) i felt very “refreshed”. Idk if that made any sense. Basically what I’m trying to say is that it’s a very very powerful book.
What's scary is that part of the reason Hanya Yanagihara wrote the boom is she wanted to make a character who just never gets better and I think people forget that's a real part of life for many people.
yes exactly!!! and i think thats what a lot of people misunderstand about the book, they dont understand why it was written or why someone would purposefully write something so bleak and ends so hopelessly. Hanya wrote this book to explore trauma in a way that most people wouldnt but i firmly believe that the idea of someone who goes through so much and can't get better is worth exploring.
I truly appreciate your final thoughts and how you try to encourage not to romanticize the recommendation of the book, cause it’s clearly triggering and heavy. It can hurt the sensibilities of many people, if you’re not ready. For me, it’s honestly one of best things I’ve read and I don’t regret reading it, i feel it added something to my life, like some sense of “courage” and care for my mental health and to truly appreciate the value of friendship, if that makes sense. I love how you said “It’s so beautifully written and that makes me upset”, and yas queen, you couldn’t gather my thoughts in a better way. Like... how something written so beautifully can make me feel so incredibly wrecked?? This book is strange, it’s almost like another world, and I’m both scared and mesmerized by it. Wow. The power of good writing.
Thats exactly it, I don't think there is another book out there that made me feel this way. I was so connected to everything I felt every single bit of pain and nothing in the fiction genre has been so real. Its truly impressive. The biggest thing I took from this book is to learn to trust the people who loves you. I often see myself pushing away people who tries to help me and this book opened my eyes, to let me see that Im capable of being loved and cared for. That Im worthy of love. Just as Jude was but he never got to see it.
@@simplyanisa5010 i dont know if you will listen to this, because at your age i really might not have either, but i really beg of you to reconsider reading it now. from the phrasing of your comment it sounds like youre excited for the challenge, i kind of had the same approach when i started. before reading it i was super intrigued because of descriptions of the experience, and the reactions i had seen people have to it, i kind of thought how bad can it be, and if it is bad, who doesnt enjoy a good cry every now and then? it feels good, its cathartic. but this book in my (and seemingly a lot of other peoples) opinion isnt just sad, it isnt just upsetting. its genuinely disturbing in a way that is not even close to appropriate for a 9th grader, or probably most high schoolers at all, to experience. this is not coming from the perspective that teenagers shouldnt be reading about "risqué" topics, even before your age i had read books about abuse, addiction, things that people would have said i "shouldnt be reading about." but those were more or less intended for, or appropriate for teenagers to read. they were young adult books about difficult topics, from which useful lessons could be picked up. but this book is not that. i genuinely believe it would be traumatising to a lot of people, with that proportion higher and higher as age is decreased, and even higher still if they had dealt with any of the literal dozens of upsetting and traumatising topics contained in it. so please please just dont read it yet. im not saying dont read it ever! but it is just not right for a teenager to read, not only because its so painful and disturbing, but also because you are just not at all in the right stage of life to appreciate it! it details the lives of the characters from their mid-20s all the way through to their 50s. i really think youll only be able to understand and appreciate that as an adult, even at 25 i feel i will probably understand it 100 times better if i reread it when i am in my 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s because frankly i barely feel like an adult myself, and i know that with life experience comes the ability to relate to this book more. that really wont be there at 14, i promise you. i love many things about this book, but i just dont think it has anything to offer a teenager, and beyond that i really think it has the potential to harm. im sorry to leave such an essay, i hope this doesnt sound condescending or anything, im just very long-winded. and its honestly scary hearing someone as young as 14 or 15 say they want to read such a dark book, one that like many other people here, i wouldnt even recommend to my mid-20s or older friends. please really think about it, and if youre unsure at all, just wait. youll really only appreciate it more the longer you do, as you grow and mature.
@@sarahmcdonough7713 Wow, i didnt realize that it was gonna be that bad. Well, thanks fot letting me know. Ive already ordered the book but im gonna give it to my mom. Thanks:)
@@simplyanisa5010 i didnt really either before i started. i had read all content warnings so i knew the things that would happen, and i knew it would be incredibly sad, but i definitely had not expected it to be as intense as it was. i think giving it to your mom is a good idea (tho do give her a fair warning as well, even my 50+ year old mom would be destroyed by this lmao) and one you definitely wont regret, especially if you end up picking up and liking the book later in life!
@@sarahmcdonough7713 Hey, hope you are doing well. I just wanted to drop in and say I'm 15 and I was contemplating reading the book, because yk, the thrill of the challenge. but thank you for slapping me out of it, and many others, with gentle care. Thank you for making me reconsider and cancel my reading quest until much later in life. :)
At times I felt angry with Hanya like, “she writes so beautifully and she’s chosen to write something so ugly, why would she put something like this out into the world?”...but then I thought, is that like telling a talented artist they may only paint pretty things?
i definitely agree wit your sentiment, but my personal issue with her writing these things was he disservice she does to the topics she covers if that makes sense??
@@aarud8953 (spoilers and CW) I personally felt that her portrayal of Jude’s sexual abuse in particular was really strange. of course many people have more than one abuser, but by the time it got to the doctor I felt it had become dramatised to the point where it didn’t feel like it had been written to actually explore those themes, but rather just because it was another horrible thing to write about. I am a gay woman who has experienced sexual assault and severe mental health issues, and after reading what Hanya has to say about characters like Jude I just felt like all she wanted was to victimise people like me further because she saw us as tragic figures, rather than actually explore these themes in a way that didn’t diminish their darkness, but also didn’t seem to revel in them.
@@mmanyhandss (warning for spoilers and CW, as well) I get what you mean by that and I guess I agree, to an extent. I'd say it's quite a complicated issue considering the unusual context (Jude being forced/not having much of a choice) to be a child prostitute. Regardless of that though, for me, if someone is simply adding these heavy topics for the sake of an awful thing happening to the mc, it's usually not well-represented or explored. (Those misrepresentations include stuff like graphic scenes of the sexual assault and unnecessary gruesome details we do not need to know/aren't mentioned again, all for the sake of making us uncomfortable and sorry.) I honestly didn't feel like that was the case with this book, though. I finished A Little Life fairly recently so the memories of the book are pretty fresh in my mind. At some point when reading about everything following Jude and Brother Luke running away together, I did feel like the author may have just put it there as a generic thing to pity (as u said). But I snatched that thought back soon after reading and reflecting on how Jude's only 2 sexual relationships as an adult was written, his thoughts, his interactions, and everything regarding his past. It was never simply swept under the rug or a thing he just 'got over'. Hanya went on to elaborate on the tremendous impact it still had on him: the constant haunting thoughts referring back to what happened, how anxious he was about being close to Harold after Brother Luke (+ constantly thinking he's gonna assault him at some point including the nightmare), his discomfort with sex (even with Willem) no matter how much they waited for him to be okay with it (to the point where Willem had sexual relations with others). Also, JB abruptly kissing him that one time was the thing that felt like triggered his 'outburst' if I can call it that. To me, it felt carefully crafted and thought out. Especially for exploring how trauma can manifest in people. (e.g. how some sexual assault survivors can end up hypersexual, refrain from sex completely, etc.) I guess its a matter of how you view it because, as someone who has had-and is still having-a really hard time coming to terms with being assaulted as a child, the way it was executed didn't feel like some pitiful plot for sympathy points but rather (multiple) horrible experience(s) that the mc constantly had a hard time grappling with. I honestly just doubt an author using sexual assault as 'another horrible thing to write' would go into this great detail on how untreated trauma interferes with your thoughts and interactions, how it eats away at you from the inside... all that jazz. If that even makes sense, hope it does. It's like 1am and finally 2022, I'm sorry if I word vomited lmao
My mum saw me sobbing multiple times reading this book. She tried to borrow it and I sort of pounced on it the way you would jump on a grenade to protect a loved one.
@@msky3529 please please don't read this book if you are feeling even remotely upset mentally. Yes, it is that bad (search up the trigger warnings). I'm around your age and I found this book incredibly difficult to get through. Not only is it very lengthy, at a whopping 720 pages, but it has very very graphic depictions of rape upon rape or some other horrific type of trauma. I'd advise reading this when you're an adult, because it is extreamly disturbing and graphic and you should not be reading this in your mental state or at your age.
@@msky3529 yup, that's a good idea. I read it at 16 and was still disturbed by it all. A good fourth of the book is just very graphic depictions of rape, child grooming, forced prostitution of a minor, self harm, suicide idealization, physical and verbal abuse of a disabled character. If you're depressed I would advise against reading this at all costs. I actually had nightmares about this book and I'm a few years older than you. I would never reccomend this book to anyone. You can look up what happens if you're really curious but let me tell you right now that this book has caused many people some mental and physical problems. And it's really just a bunch of pointless pain.
I have it on my shelf and I've been putting it off cause I'm in a terrible mental state AND I'm only 13 so yea but honestly I just want to feel something so I'll probaby read it soon
@@msky3529 as a person who's read that book, it's worse than you think. The book does just get worse and worse and it's graphic as hell. If you're not in a stable mind. Do. Not. Read. I read about a person who actually attempted to end their life after they read it. That's.. the level of the book
@@msky3529 Seriously look at the content warnings before you read this book. This isn't a book to be taken lightly and I know that I would be HORRIFIED if I saw a child reading it. Edit: I also agree with what @saturn says: if you know you're not in a stable place, don't read it. I made the mistake of reading it when I wasn't emotionally ready and let me tell you, it was not a good experience. ESPECIALLY if you're only 13. Trust us, wait on it. The book will still be here when you're older.
i totally agree + you're the only booktuber who i've seen actually address it directly - i honestly feel like it's incredibly irresponsible to recommend this to anyone because of how manipulative and traumatic it is to read. yes, i'm glad i read it and if people tell me they want to read it because it's already on their radar i will tell them i did love it but i also find myself giving them a LOT of warnings about the content because despite people saying it's a hard read it's not just that, it's emotional manipulation on account of the author. so yeah, if anyone is reading this comment and really wants to read it, i say go for it but please please please be careful and consider ALL the content warnings (they're on goodreads) because i found myself incredibly triggered by some of the content in it and i have yet to be triggered by any other film or book i've read!
thank you for this, i was going to read it just because I wanted to know but I get triggered quite a lot and have my own unsafe mental health to focus on getting better instead of making myself worse. Thank you
@@luciataylor8068 i would say if content like that affects you then please don't read it because the experience would not be worth it - it really affected me & i'm never affected by stuff like that so please look after yourself
im glad someone pointed out how detrimental and almost...wrong? it can be to glorify the experience of reading this book (and books like it). it just feels icky to me to be like "omg you have to read this book it absolutely ruined me and shattered my heart haha!!"
I think you should do a "Read this, Not that" type video. Obvious example here: book recommendations for those of us who want to read gripping, emotional, challenging but as you said "A Little Life" may cause trauma, be triggering or simply be inappropriate as a overall recommendation. Also, as a person who is currently attending graduate school to become a therapist, I appreciate your recognition of the problematic nature of the book community pushing this particular book. I always enjoy your recognition of various issues as well, you are mindful as a creator and it is a large part of why I love your content so much!
i read it ...twice... i did not cry ( sumn clearly wrong with me lol ) but man, did it emotionally scar me! if you're one to feel things beyond, or get emotionally triggered easily, i suggest you not read it ... '-'
Same!! I want to read it mainly to find out why people get so emotional while reading it, but I also feel like I need to time it right I allow myself to go through the emotions.
People REALLY need to address the trigger warnings prior to recommending this book, it HURTS and really could damage people that deal with similar issues that are addressed in it.
the bonding over the pain you spoke about reminded me of in college when people would "brag" about how little sleep they got, like why is this a good thing?
I don't think it's bragging about sleeping so little, but rather saying "I am still able to slightly function after only sleeping 2 hours! Look at me go!" There are of course different reasons though. Some people would get angry at others for complaining about being exhausted, while having slept a full night. And someone else would chime in with a "dude I literally only slept 2 hours" in a way that was basically saying "I guarantee I'm more tired than you, stop complaining." I used to do the same thing when I worked at Subway and was showing up to work hungover a lot. I'd mention being really hungover several times in amazement at myself for being able to function properly, but also to let people know "hey, sorry I'm not 100%, but please don't get mad if I'm slower or less attentive than usual."
I’m glad you highlighted that this book is a lot more than what a lot of people make it out to be, perhaps if I ever pick it up in the future I will be more cautious considering my own mental state going into it and such
This book ruined me, and I immediately sent it to my sister. She's now reading it and, I am not ready for the conversation (mostly due to having to think about it more) that we will have.
Same feelings here , I gave this book to my sister and after she read it she wasn't ruined, sad, disturbed of anything. She said though it was not her cup of tea!
This book absolutely destroyed me. I couldn’t put it down and when I wasn’t reading it I was thinking about picking it up again. It’s definitely the most impactful book I’ve ever read. One of my favorites for the beautiful writing and characters. I felt like I knew these guys. After I finished the book I spent the next few days watching interviews of the author to try and understand the process for writing this novel. I completely agree that this book is not for everyone and you gotta be in a good headspace to read this beast lol.
I was so scared that I wouldn’t cry either! I didn’t cry until “The Axiom of Equality” and then “Dear Comrade”. And dare I say it, I’m happy I cried. I didn’t know my cold dead heart could still do that.
I think you mentioned something really important in this vlog and that was how we need to be careful when we recommend books to people. A Little Life was my book clubs botm for June and I had to skip it because I knew it wasn’t something I could handle right now. I think we need to be careful because books can have such a huge effect on mental health and we saw that in this vlog- you weren’t the same smiley Noelle towards the end of this video and it seemed like the book was affecting you in a lot of ways. Thank you for doing this video because it showed me that I need to stick to my gut, be careful in what I recommend to others, and be careful what I intake myself. ❤️
Exactly, I came into reading this book knowing it was "sad" but not realizing just how many trigger warnings readers need to be aware about before starting. For a month after I experienced terrible anxiety and I think this book really had something to do with it 🙃 (still gr8 don't get me wrong, but whoa.
LOLO woah intense! Are you doing okay now? I think I’ll definitely have to be in a certain headspace for this book plus rn w the state of the world I don’t think it’s something that would add anything to my life! But I do plan on reading it one day cos like you and Noelle have said - it is really well written and great!
i completely agree with your thoughts at the end. when i first joined book twitter/booktube EVERYONE was talking about this book and i feel so pressured to read it. i knew that it covered some triggering topics but i was in no way prepared for the content within. i was extremely triggered and my mental health was so negatively impacted by it that i wasn’t myself for weeks afterwards. i did enjoy the writing and like you said i think it transcends fiction in the way that you really come to feel for the characters but i wish this wasn’t such a “booktube staple” if you will and i wish people would stop recommending it :/
100% agree - i'm not triggered by any content in any other film/book i've ever seen/read but i was really affected by this book both mentally and physically :(
I started tearing up from the beginning with the bit with Felix and Jude as well as Heming. It is safe to say my weak ass heart could not cope when it came to Dear Comrade. I was bawling for days after I finished this book and I still feel upset thinking about the book now (2 weeks from when I finished it)
These reviews just cement the fact that I reeeally don’t want to read this book. My friend said that they had to dnf it because the pain was just so tramatizing and I’m not in a place to read stuff like that. So I really appreciate you saying that this shouldn’t be recommended easily to everyone ❤️ A popular athlete in my country recommended this book publicly and it sparked a huge interest in people to read it and I’m kind of scared that it got so much attention that people who normally don’t read much started reading this. It’s a good thing to get people reading but you really should know what you’re getting into when you read a book like this.
i’m fully aware that i will never be able to read this novel. from the triggers alone (not just the ones in noelle’s description, but triggers on wikipedia, goodreads, etc) have informed me that i have endured similar traumatizing experiences as jude. it would only harm me and possibly push me to hurting myself to be exposed to such triggering material that is also incredibly personal to me. when i asked my friends awhile back if any of them had read this book, only one of them had and they told me they wished no one would read the book.
I want to read this book but I am scared. I have seen the -multiple- trigger warnings for this book and I don't know if I am prepared no matter how much I try to prepare myself. Also, knowing the trigger warnings... I have faced some things that are mentioned whether it was me facing those things or having friends face those things and I feel like that is what will ruin me. It being relatable and therefore, that much more painful.
@@alexisp6755 I've gone through therapy and been undiagnosed with PTSD and everything and that book brought me back. It was HORRIBLE. it's the most triggering book I've read, so dont read it if you know cant handle the topics. I doesnt sugarcoat anything
@@samuelm2989 wow... I'm truly so sorry to hear that. Thank you for replying and giving your opinion, I appreciate it. Sending love and good vibes to you
@@alexisp6755 yeah after thr trigger I was detached for the rest of the book but it wasnt enjoyable, now I'm fine obviously. I dont want you to be triggered as well♡ I dont think I realized to which extent it would describe things. Sending you love as well, be safe
@@alexisp6755 yeah i wouldnt read it then! yes its a good book, but its not worth triggering yourself over. I still havent been able to pick up a book since i read it. And I dont even have specific triggers related to anything in the book.
I cried watching you cry so much omg Also I’m glad at how honest you’re being about how it’s been peddled on the internet. I haven’t read it and I really appreciate this transparency because I don’t think I’m in the headspace to read it right now. Thank you!!!
Thats exactly it, I don't think there is another book out there that made me feel this way. I was so connected to everything I felt every single bit of pain and nothing in the fiction genre has been so real. Its truly impressive. The biggest thing I took from this book is to learn to trust the people who loves you. I often see myself pushing away people who tries to help me and this book opened my eyes, to let me see that Im capable of being loved and cared for. That Im worthy of love. Just as Jude was but he never got to see it.
I feel like I’ve heard so much about this book but not much other than “it will make you cry.” I’m so glad for your honest review. I always feel silly saying it but I’m an empath. A news headline or a beautiful song is enough to send me into tears on and off for the rest of the day. I was considering reading this book but now I’m thinking if I do, it could be really scarring for me.
I literally just finished the book and now I’m rewarding myself by watching peoples reviews and read with me. I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would but I was still left with a deep empty feeling and I think this book will always stick with me.
I think you're right that the cult status around the book has brought on this pressure for the book community to read the book at all costs, and there's a sense of FOMO that people have created. But I think this book demands to be shared, not because others ~should~ feel this kind of pain, but because the act of reading is an isolating activity and many of us cannot take on this subject matter alone. To me, recommending this book is an act of rebellion against the idea that sharing pain and heartbreak and sorrow is weak or burdensome, something Jude struggled with. I think literature has a lot of power, but A Little Life is one of the only books that I've seen that can almost universally take people's minds to very dark places. Hanya Yanagihara created a character that never got better, and I think as a result, we as readers don't get relief or distance from this story. Again, not everyone *needs* to read this book. But those who (safely) recommend this book to others are showing a willingness to connect deeply on subjects that were once profoundly taboo, and I think that's a positive thing Anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk and thank you Noelle for sharing your thoughts!!
"the act of reading is an isolating activity and many of us cannot take on this subject matter alone" These are my thoughts exactly! I appreciated Noelle's opinion and was even trying to think of reasons myself of why, just why, we tend to feel the urge to share things that hurt us with others? And I think you're completely right. A Little Life explores SO many things, and made me feel things I never did. Talking about it with others, sharing it with friends, was a way to cope. I guess it's a positive feedback loop? The more people read it, the more it's recommended, and so on and so forth. Humans are social creatures. Our way of bonding lies in sharing our emotions, especially deep ones like pain or extreme joy. "To me, recommending this book is an act of rebellion against the idea that sharing pain and heartbreak and sorrow is weak or burdensome, something Jude struggled with." This is the perfect way of saying it. You're right, and Noelle's right, in that there are definitely people I would be conscious of NOT recommending this book to but in general, talking about these dark, depressing things can be positive. It's not just one giant crying circle--it's more like group therapy where we all get to bond over how we felt and work through those incredibly difficult emotions together. I hope more people see your comment and understand where we, and a lot of other people, are coming from!
I finished this book like a week ago and surprisingly I didn’t cry not even a little bit. I’m such a sensitive person and I know the story is really sad so I don’t know why it didn’t made me cry and I’m sooo disappointed ☹️
Same thing happened to me. So many people cried reading this book, and being a super sensitive person, i thought I’d be sobbing. Of course it was heavy, but maybe I just will never be able to fully relate to this story since Jude’s life was so insanely sad and extreme. When I would read the sad parts, I took them for what they were but they didn’t yield that physical response from me. Am I broken? Lol
i've been so excited for this vlog because 'a little life' is my favourite book. as i am re-reading it at the moment, for the third time (why oh why), i've realized how much this book talks about hope. like, we all know it's traumatizing. because it is. but the little sparkles of hope - that i didn't notice when i read it two times before - made me annotate the shit out of this novel and made me shift my perception of it completely. i understand where you are getting at with the recommendation and hype around this book. i've never really thought about it this way. thanks for opening my eyes, noelle. grief and trauma shouldn't be glorified in a way 'wow this made me cry, read it'.
I think that people want to bond over this book precisely because of the emotional reaction they have to it because discussing something that completely wrecked you results in a completely different collective reading experience.
This has literally been the best book review I’ve seen. Thank you so much for being honest and letting people know and understand that it’s not for everyone to read.
Your thoughts at the end about recommending this book are so right on. I have not ever recommended this book to anyone. When someone tells me that they are going to read it I always say, "gear up cuz this is gonna hurt." I know people that could not and should not ever read this. This book could be exponentially harmful to someone in the wrong mindset. That being said, I did love the book for the very reason you said.....that the characters don't feel like fiction, like Jude really exists. Thank you for vlogging your experience as it is a very very emotional one.
It took me like two weeks to read this book and I swear I was in such a mood those two weeks and I didn't connect the book to my mood till the end. When I finished I knew this was what had me depressed. I gave it 5 stars! Ill say its my favorite book, Ive never felt the feelings I felt with any other book I've read, its been more than a year since I read it and I still have the characters so alive in my head its impressive. SUCH a good read! Such a visceral experience. 10/10
I didn’t cry until the very last part. The book made me feel numb and I didn’t have any reaction while reading it because it was too much. I had to take a break and when I came back a few weeks later and read the last hundred pages all the feelings hit at once.
I feel so heartless whenever I hear someone talk about this book. I cry literally at everything, like a pigeon drops a bread crumb and i will cry, but I just felt nothing with this book. :(
i feel like everything you said about asking ourselves why we love it and love to recommend it is extremely valid even though it’s my favorite book of all time! BECAUSE it’s my favorite book of all time actually i ask myself a lot why i still recommend and why it’s my favorite and i feel like it’s a great conversation starter! so weird though
Since watching yours and Kats reading vlogs of this I've taken it off my TBR. I often find myself reading books that contain heavy topics in order to "teach myself something" but I don't always feel better for it. I think this will just sit with me uncomfortably for weeks, so I'd rather miss out on the beautiful writing and not sob for days on end
I agree with everything you’ve said here, this book is my favourite book of all time, but I am very careful when recommending it to people. I would only ever recommend it to close friends, and am sure to make them aware of the potential triggers. This book means the world to me, as I have struggled a lot with metal health in the past, and the raw and beautiful way that this story is told can’t help but make me fall in love with it. Totally agree with everything you said, great review, Noelle!😇
This is so nice to watch your final thoughts on this because this is the first time I’ve ever hesitated on reading this book. I LOVE books that make me feel extreme emotions so when booktube/ the book community introduced me to the idea of A Little Life, I was like “heck yeah let’s do it”. But this is the first time the final thoughts on this novel made me hesitant to read it. There IS a sort of cult mentality when it comes to this book (but also a lot of really popular books in general) in this community and with something that is so hard hitting, it seems weird to recommend this book to *everyone*. Someone who is struggling right now shouldn’t be reading a horribly sad book. Seems weird that a community that’s usually really good with giving trigger warnings doesn’t talk about this painful reading experiences something that IS triggering to people.
I finished A Little Life last month. This book was recommended by another BookTuber almost two years ago. It took me a year and half years to read. When I finished Part two of the book I had to take a long time off. After a six month break I decided to pick it up again. When I finished it I was completely useless for a whole day. I really identified with Jude so much, and I was hoping that Jude would have a happy ending, but when the Happy Years ended, I knew it was not going to happen that way. I took a little break and read a couple of other books. I was broken by A Little Life, but I was also relieved to be finished. I don't cry usually at books, but this book had me crying so much at the end that I just couldn't even think straight. I just had to watch this vlog since I am still coming down off the emotional rollercoaster that book had me on. What book did you pick up after A Little Life? I think I picked up Turtles All the Way Down by John Green which I finished a day or two after A Little Life.
Well said! I would NOT recommend this book to anyone who may be in an emotionally unstable place. It can be super triggering if you're not in the right headspace.
Throughout this entire reading vlog, I wanted to give you a big hug. I've been wanting to read A Little Life, but I don't like feeling sad. So, I've been putting off the book.
i’m so glad that you mentioned that no one should feel fomo about not reading this book... i’m sixteen and have been told countless amount of times to read this book because its “so good” and “so sad” but i haven’t picked it up because i worry that it’ll take a toll on my mental health. so thank you for being real with us about everything this book made you feel, i really appreciate it. ❤️
i told myself when i read it that i would never recommend it to anyone as i feel like it is so heavy and emotionally taxing that it is something you should find out about and decide to read for yourself. it’s crazy that people would want someone else to go through such emotional trauma because that is literally what it is. i personally loved it (wish i read it at a different time lol) but it’s so weird how people are about it. it’s like why do you want another person to feel such lol
Cabin fever is a helluva thing. What's worked for me is going for walks at least 3x per week, and doing Yoga with Adriene. Maybe you can go for a bike ride, go to the beach, go for a hike. Get some vitamin D. If it's too hot you can mix it up with nighttime walks/bike rides, etc. You can probably find places outdoors that aren't super crowded so you're still socially distant. You may have to drive to them if you live in a more crowded area. After that you can order takeout and eat it in the park (again somewhere you can socially distance). Hope you feel better tomorrow. :)
You spoke about this book at the end so carefully and with such intelligent thoughts. This book has been on my reading list for some time because of the hype, but I think it's been super valuable hearing your views on it especially in the fact that it is incredibly painful and potentially triggering beyond just being a sad book. I totally agree with you about the community around this book often seems to want to share the pain and that can actually be quite hazardous if someone is not prepared when they read it. ♥️♥️ I LOVE YOUR READING VLOGS NOELLE and your content in general. So glad I found you during lockdown times
I feel the same about recommending it. So many of my friends who haven’t read it always ask me if they should and I’m just like...I cannot in good faith recommend this book to you ahaha read at your own risk
a little life has been my favorite book i've ever read for almost 2 years now, but i don't think it's my favorite book because of the content. i think it's my favorite book because it's the only book i've ever read where i genuinely put myself completely into the story. by the end, i felt as though i could have done something to protect willem or jude, or as though harold was an old friend of mine, all i wanted to do was comfort him and love him. it was almost difficult for me to process after finishing that the characters were fictional, i couldn't handle the fact that everyone in the book just ceased to exist after the last page. i had never experienced that sort of intimacy with a book before a little life and despite completely crushing me after i read it, i realized that that's kind of the whole point- it's supposed to hurt. at the same time, i don't recommend recommending this book to anyone. people will find it on their own, i genuinely learned that you have to go into this book with a steady and positive mindset or it's going to take a really long time to recover from. it's a really really intense read and even after two years i still find myself thinking about the 4 guys lives and how things could have gone differently.
I havent read this and I totally feel like I cant relate to the intense feelings towards this book. Like I feel like I need to know more about it to understand you but im scared to go down that road as well...
GOD BLESS Noelle I needed this today! I am a teacher, and it’s the first day of online school... needless to say a distraction in the midst of today’s uncertainty is so so welcome!! I feel like your vlogs are like a video from a dear friend, thank you for your genuine nature!!!
When the book got to the Dr Traylor part is when I checked out for awhile. It was just one too many traumas to be believable. I don’t know. It was just too much.
I cried when I read it. Not as in crying my eyes out. More on that I was sweaty, anxious and putting book down like more than a hundred times. For this intense style of writing, hanya has all my respects.
I 100% agree. It's in my top 5 favorite books I've ever read, but it's also NOT for everyone and shouldn't be taken lightly as a highly recommended book. I knew going into it that it would be extremely difficult to read in terms of content but nothing can prepare you for this experience. It's a book that will stay with me forever. Thank you for your honest reaction.
i feel like theres something special about the tragedy and intense intense sadness of this books that’s incredibly different from most all books that makes a huge impact on people and makes them immediately recommend it as an amazing book that someone they know should read. your thoughts wasnt something i considered because i read it relatively unknowingly of what was ahead of me but i totally agree that it should not be taken lightly. it can be extremely triggering to people not in a great mindset or mental state and i actually discouraged a friend from reading it for that reason. but i think the heavy recommendations come from a interesting part of human nature that you touched on with the need for “shared trauma”. great video
For *years* I've um'd and ah'd about picking this up and have been left feeling like I've missed out on some shared experience having not read it. But after hearing you say that not everyone _should_ read this book and that it won't be healthy for a majority of people you've truly made me feel as though I've made the right choice in not picking it up. Thank you ❤
i think a reason people want to bond over such sad stories is because of how incredible it is to experience a story that you care so much about and are so engrossed in that it affects you so deeply and can have the same effect on complete strangers. although i've never read A Little Life so i'm not sure if all that pain has any pay off................ but imma buy it
i'm so glad more people are reading this and discovered the tragic beauty that A Little Life is. Never have I cried myself to sleep thinking about a FICTIONAL character! Jude forever lives in my heart
I agree so much with the conclusion you made at the end of the video. When I was reading this book I needed somebody to talk to because the topics of A Little Life are something you have to discuss and not just keep for yourself. And my friends who haven’t read it asked me if I recommend it, and I was telling “god no, don’t read this” because they all were going through some hard times and depressive moods, and I really think that before recommending it to anybody one has to make sure that the person who’s about to read it is mentally stable and it won’t awake their own traumas. Though I enjoyed (if I can say so) reading it and think it was one of the best books I’ve read this year
Couldn’t agree more with your final thoughts. I was astonished when I got deep into this book after seeing so many reviews/videos - practically demanding that everyone and anyone read it - that NOT ONE persons recommendation came with a TW of any kind. It’s a book I’ve taken from a 4-star rating down to a 2 over the months that passed since I read it because ultimately, while HY’s writing style was truly enjoyable, nuanced, and individual, it just all got too torture-porn for me and hindsight only worsened that. Loved this video (and thank you for having some responsible final words to say!)
I’ve never cried reading a book before and I am wanting to read A Little Life soon and all the videos I watch about it makes me feel, that books going be the book to break me.
This book has been sold out everywhere in the physical stores around here, I’ve taken it as a sign that I’m not ready for the amount of crying. I may have to venture out to Amazon soon. I do want some other edition than the one everyone seems to have though, the cover is a bit too on the nose re. the inevitable crying. edit: watching you cry made me cry. I feel like I’m definitely not ready. edit 2: great insight re. perpetuating the trauma of reading the book. I do want to read it, but I think I need to schedule it for a time when I can cry for a day or two but not be in a situation where I let it consume me. Like, I was just on vacation for 5 weeks and it was a staycation because we all know why, and I think it would’ve really f***ed me up because I had nothing going on. I’m going to aim for a week where I can mostly work from home and then take a weekend. Having said that, I feel like there may be a fine line between a great book and being emotionally manipulated. Now I want to read it just to find out which it is 😂
If you do end up buying it I recommend purchasing from a local bookstore (that you can still do online!) or from bookshop/indiebound rather than amazon. Helps support local business 🙂
Kat and Noelle: "We're bad bitches; We read horror; Nothing hurts us."
A Little life: "Dear Comrade--"
Kat and Noelle: *sobs uncontrollably*
OMG HAHAHA
Can someone tell me the level of english of this book?? I really want to read it but it's not translated in my language and I'm not completely fluent in English. I can understand everything in tv shows, fanfics TH-cam videos etc but I don't know if I would understand "fancy" words and "fancy" writing if u know what I mean :) thanks
@@beatrizafonso8673 English is also not my first language and there are terms that I had to research to understand the context but overall, I think it’s pretty understandable.
@@beatrizafonso8673 just use a dictionary sometimes.... It'll be easy. English is not my first language either but I read it anyway got to learn a lot of new words.
@@beatrizafonso8673 what is your native language? Out of pure curosity.
Me telling my friends about A Little Life: “it is my favorite book of all time and I never want any of you to read it because I love you too much”
Relatable AF
YES
SAME. 😢
Whenever you call us sweet little petunias, 5 years are added to my life
YESSSS
Omg same i thought i was alone hahahahaha i love it
I love it too
I unconsciously smile
I just bought this and now I’m scared 😹😭
seeing how hard this book makes people cry, people who are more emotionally stable than me, is TERRIFYING
Same but now I wanna read it🤣
Let me tell you, no other book has made me sob like A Little Life did. It was a very cleansing cry though
Sophia Sartorio might have to invest in buying it cause I haven’t cried in months lol 😂
Ffion Sian Grant This may sound super strange but when I decided to read this book I was going through a rough patch and for some reason, reading a book that was SO sad actually made me feel better because it allowed me to focus my sadness and anxiety into these fictional characters instead of my own life. And once I finished the book (and sobbed my eyes out) i felt very “refreshed”. Idk if that made any sense. Basically what I’m trying to say is that it’s a very very powerful book.
Sophia S why do I 100% understand what you’re saying
"I'm afraid I'm not actually going to cry" famous last words lol
What's scary is that part of the reason Hanya Yanagihara wrote the boom is she wanted to make a character who just never gets better and I think people forget that's a real part of life for many people.
yes exactly!!! and i think thats what a lot of people misunderstand about the book, they dont understand why it was written or why someone would purposefully write something so bleak and ends so hopelessly. Hanya wrote this book to explore trauma in a way that most people wouldnt but i firmly believe that the idea of someone who goes through so much and can't get better is worth exploring.
I truly appreciate your final thoughts and how you try to encourage not to romanticize the recommendation of the book, cause it’s clearly triggering and heavy. It can hurt the sensibilities of many people, if you’re not ready.
For me, it’s honestly one of best things I’ve read and I don’t regret reading it, i feel it added something to my life, like some sense of “courage” and care for my mental health and to truly appreciate the value of friendship, if that makes sense.
I love how you said “It’s so beautifully written and that makes me upset”, and yas queen, you couldn’t gather my thoughts in a better way. Like... how something written so beautifully can make me feel so incredibly wrecked??
This book is strange, it’s almost like another world, and I’m both scared and mesmerized by it. Wow. The power of good writing.
I love this comment and I totally agree!!
Thats exactly it, I don't think there is another book out there that made me feel this way. I was so connected to everything I felt every single bit of pain and nothing in the fiction genre has been so real. Its truly impressive. The biggest thing I took from this book is to learn to trust the people who loves you. I often see myself pushing away people who tries to help me and this book opened my eyes, to let me see that Im capable of being loved and cared for. That Im worthy of love. Just as Jude was but he never got to see it.
*me casually removing A Little Life from my Goodreads tbr like it’s just another day in the neighborhood*
i ordered it and im a 9th grader, dont know how im gunna survive it
@@simplyanisa5010 i dont know if you will listen to this, because at your age i really might not have either, but i really beg of you to reconsider reading it now. from the phrasing of your comment it sounds like youre excited for the challenge, i kind of had the same approach when i started. before reading it i was super intrigued because of descriptions of the experience, and the reactions i had seen people have to it, i kind of thought how bad can it be, and if it is bad, who doesnt enjoy a good cry every now and then? it feels good, its cathartic. but this book in my (and seemingly a lot of other peoples) opinion isnt just sad, it isnt just upsetting. its genuinely disturbing in a way that is not even close to appropriate for a 9th grader, or probably most high schoolers at all, to experience. this is not coming from the perspective that teenagers shouldnt be reading about "risqué" topics, even before your age i had read books about abuse, addiction, things that people would have said i "shouldnt be reading about." but those were more or less intended for, or appropriate for teenagers to read. they were young adult books about difficult topics, from which useful lessons could be picked up. but this book is not that. i genuinely believe it would be traumatising to a lot of people, with that proportion higher and higher as age is decreased, and even higher still if they had dealt with any of the literal dozens of upsetting and traumatising topics contained in it. so please please just dont read it yet. im not saying dont read it ever! but it is just not right for a teenager to read, not only because its so painful and disturbing, but also because you are just not at all in the right stage of life to appreciate it! it details the lives of the characters from their mid-20s all the way through to their 50s. i really think youll only be able to understand and appreciate that as an adult, even at 25 i feel i will probably understand it 100 times better if i reread it when i am in my 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s because frankly i barely feel like an adult myself, and i know that with life experience comes the ability to relate to this book more. that really wont be there at 14, i promise you. i love many things about this book, but i just dont think it has anything to offer a teenager, and beyond that i really think it has the potential to harm. im sorry to leave such an essay, i hope this doesnt sound condescending or anything, im just very long-winded. and its honestly scary hearing someone as young as 14 or 15 say they want to read such a dark book, one that like many other people here, i wouldnt even recommend to my mid-20s or older friends. please really think about it, and if youre unsure at all, just wait. youll really only appreciate it more the longer you do, as you grow and mature.
@@sarahmcdonough7713 Wow, i didnt realize that it was gonna be that bad. Well, thanks fot letting me know. Ive already ordered the book but im gonna give it to my mom. Thanks:)
@@simplyanisa5010 i didnt really either before i started. i had read all content warnings so i knew the things that would happen, and i knew it would be incredibly sad, but i definitely had not expected it to be as intense as it was. i think giving it to your mom is a good idea (tho do give her a fair warning as well, even my 50+ year old mom would be destroyed by this lmao) and one you definitely wont regret, especially if you end up picking up and liking the book later in life!
@@sarahmcdonough7713 Hey, hope you are doing well. I just wanted to drop in and say I'm 15 and I was contemplating reading the book, because yk, the thrill of the challenge. but thank you for slapping me out of it, and many others, with gentle care. Thank you for making me reconsider and cancel my reading quest until much later in life. :)
At times I felt angry with Hanya like, “she writes so beautifully and she’s chosen to write something so ugly, why would she put something like this out into the world?”...but then I thought, is that like telling a talented artist they may only paint pretty things?
i definitely agree wit your sentiment, but my personal issue with her writing these things was he disservice she does to the topics she covers if that makes sense??
@@mmanyhandss explain please. I’m almost done with the book
@@mmanyhandss can you elaborate on that please??
@@aarud8953 (spoilers and CW) I personally felt that her portrayal of Jude’s sexual abuse in particular was really strange. of course many people have more than one abuser, but by the time it got to the doctor I felt it had become dramatised to the point where it didn’t feel like it had been written to actually explore those themes, but rather just because it was another horrible thing to write about. I am a gay woman who has experienced sexual assault and severe mental health issues, and after reading what Hanya has to say about characters like Jude I just felt like all she wanted was to victimise people like me further because she saw us as tragic figures, rather than actually explore these themes in a way that didn’t diminish their darkness, but also didn’t seem to revel in them.
@@mmanyhandss (warning for spoilers and CW, as well)
I get what you mean by that and I guess I agree, to an extent. I'd say it's quite a complicated issue considering the unusual context (Jude being forced/not having much of a choice) to be a child prostitute. Regardless of that though, for me, if someone is simply adding these heavy topics for the sake of an awful thing happening to the mc, it's usually not well-represented or explored. (Those misrepresentations include stuff like graphic scenes of the sexual assault and unnecessary gruesome details we do not need to know/aren't mentioned again, all for the sake of making us uncomfortable and sorry.) I honestly didn't feel like that was the case with this book, though.
I finished A Little Life fairly recently so the memories of the book are pretty fresh in my mind. At some point when reading about everything following Jude and Brother Luke running away together, I did feel like the author may have just put it there as a generic thing to pity (as u said). But I snatched that thought back soon after reading and reflecting on how Jude's only 2 sexual relationships as an adult was written, his thoughts, his interactions, and everything regarding his past. It was never simply swept under the rug or a thing he just 'got over'. Hanya went on to elaborate on the tremendous impact it still had on him: the constant haunting thoughts referring back to what happened, how anxious he was about being close to Harold after Brother Luke (+ constantly thinking he's gonna assault him at some point including the nightmare), his discomfort with sex (even with Willem) no matter how much they waited for him to be okay with it (to the point where Willem had sexual relations with others). Also, JB abruptly kissing him that one time was the thing that felt like triggered his 'outburst' if I can call it that.
To me, it felt carefully crafted and thought out. Especially for exploring how trauma can manifest in people. (e.g. how some sexual assault survivors can end up hypersexual, refrain from sex completely, etc.)
I guess its a matter of how you view it because, as someone who has had-and is still having-a really hard time coming to terms with being assaulted as a child, the way it was executed didn't feel like some pitiful plot for sympathy points but rather (multiple) horrible experience(s) that the mc constantly had a hard time grappling with. I honestly just doubt an author using sexual assault as 'another horrible thing to write' would go into this great detail on how untreated trauma interferes with your thoughts and interactions, how it eats away at you from the inside... all that jazz. If that even makes sense, hope it does. It's like 1am and finally 2022, I'm sorry if I word vomited lmao
My mum saw me sobbing multiple times reading this book. She tried to borrow it and I sort of pounced on it the way you would jump on a grenade to protect a loved one.
Is it really that bad though im in 7th grade and want to read it but im not sure if i should just because m mental health is fuc*ed right now
@@msky3529 please please don't read this book if you are feeling even remotely upset mentally. Yes, it is that bad (search up the trigger warnings). I'm around your age and I found this book incredibly difficult to get through. Not only is it very lengthy, at a whopping 720 pages, but it has very very graphic depictions of rape upon rape or some other horrific type of trauma. I'd advise reading this when you're an adult, because it is extreamly disturbing and graphic and you should not be reading this in your mental state or at your age.
@@mukhtardesai2159 me who already ordered it😃 i can put it off a few more years or months
@@msky3529 yup, that's a good idea. I read it at 16 and was still disturbed by it all. A good fourth of the book is just very graphic depictions of rape, child grooming, forced prostitution of a minor, self harm, suicide idealization, physical and verbal abuse of a disabled character. If you're depressed I would advise against reading this at all costs. I actually had nightmares about this book and I'm a few years older than you. I would never reccomend this book to anyone. You can look up what happens if you're really curious but let me tell you right now that this book has caused many people some mental and physical problems. And it's really just a bunch of pointless pain.
@@mukhtardesai2159 wow thats a lot thank you :)
I was actually getting so concerned about your mental health as you were reading this book.
I have it on my shelf and I've been putting it off cause I'm in a terrible mental state AND I'm only 13 so yea
but honestly I just want to feel something so I'll probaby read it soon
@@msky3529 oh babe if you’re 13 I recommend you wait a couple years
@@hayatjalifa2985 youre right but the earth will probably be dead in a couple years plus i think I can handle it
no thats a lie
I can't but still
@@msky3529 as a person who's read that book, it's worse than you think. The book does just get worse and worse and it's graphic as hell. If you're not in a stable mind. Do. Not. Read. I read about a person who actually attempted to end their life after they read it. That's.. the level of the book
@@msky3529 Seriously look at the content warnings before you read this book. This isn't a book to be taken lightly and I know that I would be HORRIFIED if I saw a child reading it.
Edit: I also agree with what @saturn says: if you know you're not in a stable place, don't read it. I made the mistake of reading it when I wasn't emotionally ready and let me tell you, it was not a good experience. ESPECIALLY if you're only 13. Trust us, wait on it. The book will still be here when you're older.
When you said about feeling claustrophobic in your own skin cause of isolation, I FELT THAT!
Same I've been feeling like that for a while
SAME HERE
As someone who has never heard of this book before, these reactions are terrifying.. what kind of book is this omg
Girl you got a big storm coming 😂😂😭
Same, the reactions are so intense. I don’t know if I can handle this, even at 35 😂
It deals with topics that are usually unspoken of. Things that happen every day that people rarely speak openly about.
READ IT! IT IS MY BEST AND WORST BOOK AT THE SAME TIME
@@JyotsnaS is it based on a true story?
i totally agree + you're the only booktuber who i've seen actually address it directly - i honestly feel like it's incredibly irresponsible to recommend this to anyone because of how manipulative and traumatic it is to read. yes, i'm glad i read it and if people tell me they want to read it because it's already on their radar i will tell them i did love it but i also find myself giving them a LOT of warnings about the content because despite people saying it's a hard read it's not just that, it's emotional manipulation on account of the author. so yeah, if anyone is reading this comment and really wants to read it, i say go for it but please please please be careful and consider ALL the content warnings (they're on goodreads) because i found myself incredibly triggered by some of the content in it and i have yet to be triggered by any other film or book i've read!
I completely agree
I told my friends “this is my favorite book of all time and I never want any of you to read it”
thank you for this, i was going to read it just because I wanted to know but I get triggered quite a lot and have my own unsafe mental health to focus on getting better instead of making myself worse. Thank you
Agreed! Did I love it? Yes. Would I recommend it? Not in a million years.
@@luciataylor8068 i would say if content like that affects you then please don't read it because the experience would not be worth it - it really affected me & i'm never affected by stuff like that so please look after yourself
Noelle crying: mY sWeEt LitTle pETuNiaS
When you cried my dog was very concern for you and was trying to find you to comfort you.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
im glad someone pointed out how detrimental and almost...wrong? it can be to glorify the experience of reading this book (and books like it). it just feels icky to me to be like "omg you have to read this book it absolutely ruined me and shattered my heart haha!!"
I think you should do a "Read this, Not that" type video. Obvious example here: book recommendations for those of us who want to read gripping, emotional, challenging but as you said "A Little Life" may cause trauma, be triggering or simply be inappropriate as a overall recommendation.
Also, as a person who is currently attending graduate school to become a therapist, I appreciate your recognition of the problematic nature of the book community pushing this particular book. I always enjoy your recognition of various issues as well, you are mindful as a creator and it is a large part of why I love your content so much!
Are you related to Harvey
@@wildberry752 Nope. Weinstein is actually a pretty common name.
@@emilywild21 ok
I'd recommend The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai as a good alternative for an emotional read without the triggering/traumatic content.
Im so intimidated by this Book but also intrigued 😫
Right like I may not pick it up
Same
i read it ...twice... i did not cry ( sumn clearly wrong with me lol ) but man, did it emotionally scar me! if you're one to feel things beyond, or get emotionally triggered easily, i suggest you not read it ... '-'
Same!! I want to read it mainly to find out why people get so emotional while reading it, but I also feel like I need to time it right I allow myself to go through the emotions.
SAME, i bought the book a week ago and i want to read but i’m so intimidated by it
People REALLY need to address the trigger warnings prior to recommending this book, it HURTS and really could damage people that deal with similar issues that are addressed in it.
the bonding over the pain you spoke about reminded me of in college when people would "brag" about how little sleep they got, like why is this a good thing?
I don't think it's bragging about sleeping so little, but rather saying "I am still able to slightly function after only sleeping 2 hours! Look at me go!"
There are of course different reasons though. Some people would get angry at others for complaining about being exhausted, while having slept a full night. And someone else would chime in with a "dude I literally only slept 2 hours" in a way that was basically saying "I guarantee I'm more tired than you, stop complaining."
I used to do the same thing when I worked at Subway and was showing up to work hungover a lot. I'd mention being really hungover several times in amazement at myself for being able to function properly, but also to let people know "hey, sorry I'm not 100%, but please don't get mad if I'm slower or less attentive than usual."
why did you calling us your sweet little turtle doves make me tear up 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
I’m glad you highlighted that this book is a lot more than what a lot of people make it out to be, perhaps if I ever pick it up in the future I will be more cautious considering my own mental state going into it and such
This book ruined me, and I immediately sent it to my sister. She's now reading it and, I am not ready for the conversation (mostly due to having to think about it more) that we will have.
I am going to read it also. I can't cry in books.
ABSOLUTELY! it was my favorite book of 2019. i cried all over the city reading this and i STILL think about Jude
is it based on a true story?
@@sadeenlol9736 it’s not.
Same feelings here , I gave this book to my sister and after she read it she wasn't ruined, sad, disturbed of anything. She said though it was not her cup of tea!
not me tearing up just watching this without even having read the book.....
same
omg same lol
This book absolutely destroyed me. I couldn’t put it down and when I wasn’t reading it I was thinking about picking it up again. It’s definitely the most impactful book I’ve ever read. One of my favorites for the beautiful writing and characters. I felt like I knew these guys. After I finished the book I spent the next few days watching interviews of the author to try and understand the process for writing this novel. I completely agree that this book is not for everyone and you gotta be in a good headspace to read this beast lol.
I was so scared that I wouldn’t cry either! I didn’t cry until “The Axiom of Equality” and then “Dear Comrade”. And dare I say it, I’m happy I cried. I didn’t know my cold dead heart could still do that.
Axiom of equality made me sob in the bath
I think you mentioned something really important in this vlog and that was how we need to be careful when we recommend books to people. A Little Life was my book clubs botm for June and I had to skip it because I knew it wasn’t something I could handle right now. I think we need to be careful because books can have such a huge effect on mental health and we saw that in this vlog- you weren’t the same smiley Noelle towards the end of this video and it seemed like the book was affecting you in a lot of ways. Thank you for doing this video because it showed me that I need to stick to my gut, be careful in what I recommend to others, and be careful what I intake myself. ❤️
Exactly, I came into reading this book knowing it was "sad" but not realizing just how many trigger warnings readers need to be aware about before starting. For a month after I experienced terrible anxiety and I think this book really had something to do with it 🙃 (still gr8 don't get me wrong, but whoa.
LOLO woah intense! Are you doing okay now? I think I’ll definitely have to be in a certain headspace for this book plus rn w the state of the world I don’t think it’s something that would add anything to my life! But I do plan on reading it one day cos like you and Noelle have said - it is really well written and great!
i completely agree with your thoughts at the end. when i first joined book twitter/booktube EVERYONE was talking about this book and i feel so pressured to read it. i knew that it covered some triggering topics but i was in no way prepared for the content within. i was extremely triggered and my mental health was so negatively impacted by it that i wasn’t myself for weeks afterwards. i did enjoy the writing and like you said i think it transcends fiction in the way that you really come to feel for the characters but i wish this wasn’t such a “booktube staple” if you will and i wish people would stop recommending it :/
100% agree - i'm not triggered by any content in any other film/book i've ever seen/read but i was really affected by this book both mentally and physically :(
i don’t know how people who cried before the happy years survived. i didn’t until then, and it was earth shattering.
we didn't
I started tearing up from the beginning with the bit with Felix and Jude as well as Heming. It is safe to say my weak ass heart could not cope when it came to Dear Comrade. I was bawling for days after I finished this book and I still feel upset thinking about the book now (2 weeks from when I finished it)
Gabi Kaczmarek same! I started crying since hemming and it just got worse from there. I still cry when thinking about it and I read it last December.
I don’t know what makes me more upset, seeing Noelle cry or watching Parker off in the distance not consoling her while she’s crying 😭😭
These reviews just cement the fact that I reeeally don’t want to read this book. My friend said that they had to dnf it because the pain was just so tramatizing and I’m not in a place to read stuff like that. So I really appreciate you saying that this shouldn’t be recommended easily to everyone ❤️ A popular athlete in my country recommended this book publicly and it sparked a huge interest in people to read it and I’m kind of scared that it got so much attention that people who normally don’t read much started reading this. It’s a good thing to get people reading but you really should know what you’re getting into when you read a book like this.
i’m fully aware that i will never be able to read this novel. from the triggers alone (not just the ones in noelle’s description, but triggers on wikipedia, goodreads, etc) have informed me that i have endured similar traumatizing experiences as jude. it would only harm me and possibly push me to hurting myself to be exposed to such triggering material that is also incredibly personal to me. when i asked my friends awhile back if any of them had read this book, only one of them had and they told me they wished no one would read the book.
It’s the “my sweet angels” for me. Just melted down and teary
I read this in April and haven’t read a book since Cos I’m still just traumatized. I literally still think about it every day.
I want to read this book but I am scared. I have seen the -multiple- trigger warnings for this book and I don't know if I am prepared no matter how much I try to prepare myself. Also, knowing the trigger warnings... I have faced some things that are mentioned whether it was me facing those things or having friends face those things and I feel like that is what will ruin me. It being relatable and therefore, that much more painful.
@@alexisp6755 I've gone through therapy and been undiagnosed with PTSD and everything and that book brought me back. It was HORRIBLE. it's the most triggering book I've read, so dont read it if you know cant handle the topics. I doesnt sugarcoat anything
@@samuelm2989 wow... I'm truly so sorry to hear that. Thank you for replying and giving your opinion, I appreciate it. Sending love and good vibes to you
@@alexisp6755 yeah after thr trigger I was detached for the rest of the book but it wasnt enjoyable, now I'm fine obviously. I dont want you to be triggered as well♡ I dont think I realized to which extent it would describe things. Sending you love as well, be safe
@@alexisp6755 yeah i wouldnt read it then! yes its a good book, but its not worth triggering yourself over. I still havent been able to pick up a book since i read it. And I dont even have specific triggers related to anything in the book.
I cried watching you cry so much omg
Also I’m glad at how honest you’re being about how it’s been peddled on the internet. I haven’t read it and I really appreciate this transparency because I don’t think I’m in the headspace to read it right now. Thank you!!!
Did it hurt anyone else’s soul seeing Noelle cry 🥺 Her sweet little heart 💜
Thats exactly it, I don't think there is another book out there that made me feel this way. I was so connected to everything I felt every single bit of pain and nothing in the fiction genre has been so real. Its truly impressive. The biggest thing I took from this book is to learn to trust the people who loves you. I often see myself pushing away people who tries to help me and this book opened my eyes, to let me see that Im capable of being loved and cared for. That Im worthy of love. Just as Jude was but he never got to see it.
I read this book in January and I STILL get choked up when I think about it too much. Feel like those characters are real man 😞😞
I’ve been desperate to watch this since your insta stories your laugh was making me laugh 😂😚
I feel like I’ve heard so much about this book but not much other than “it will make you cry.” I’m so glad for your honest review. I always feel silly saying it but I’m an empath. A news headline or a beautiful song is enough to send me into tears on and off for the rest of the day. I was considering reading this book but now I’m thinking if I do, it could be really scarring for me.
I literally just finished the book and now I’m rewarding myself by watching peoples reviews and read with me. I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would but I was still left with a deep empty feeling and I think this book will always stick with me.
I think you're right that the cult status around the book has brought on this pressure for the book community to read the book at all costs, and there's a sense of FOMO that people have created. But I think this book demands to be shared, not because others ~should~ feel this kind of pain, but because the act of reading is an isolating activity and many of us cannot take on this subject matter alone. To me, recommending this book is an act of rebellion against the idea that sharing pain and heartbreak and sorrow is weak or burdensome, something Jude struggled with. I think literature has a lot of power, but A Little Life is one of the only books that I've seen that can almost universally take people's minds to very dark places. Hanya Yanagihara created a character that never got better, and I think as a result, we as readers don't get relief or distance from this story.
Again, not everyone *needs* to read this book. But those who (safely) recommend this book to others are showing a willingness to connect deeply on subjects that were once profoundly taboo, and I think that's a positive thing
Anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk and thank you Noelle for sharing your thoughts!!
"the act of reading is an isolating activity and many of us cannot take on this subject matter alone"
These are my thoughts exactly! I appreciated Noelle's opinion and was even trying to think of reasons myself of why, just why, we tend to feel the urge to share things that hurt us with others? And I think you're completely right. A Little Life explores SO many things, and made me feel things I never did. Talking about it with others, sharing it with friends, was a way to cope. I guess it's a positive feedback loop? The more people read it, the more it's recommended, and so on and so forth. Humans are social creatures. Our way of bonding lies in sharing our emotions, especially deep ones like pain or extreme joy.
"To me, recommending this book is an act of rebellion against the idea that sharing pain and heartbreak and sorrow is weak or burdensome, something Jude struggled with."
This is the perfect way of saying it. You're right, and Noelle's right, in that there are definitely people I would be conscious of NOT recommending this book to but in general, talking about these dark, depressing things can be positive. It's not just one giant crying circle--it's more like group therapy where we all get to bond over how we felt and work through those incredibly difficult emotions together. I hope more people see your comment and understand where we, and a lot of other people, are coming from!
My favorite book. I equally want people to feel the love and life of this book, and NEVER want anyone to feel the anongizing pain I felt reading this.
When you’re reading/crying on the bed and Parker is just sitting on the other side of the bed I’m like Parker GO COMFORT HER!!
If he is anything like my fiancé, maybe she prefers him to NOT do it 😅
Definitely after watching this. I’m not ready to read this in 2020. Nope. Maybe 2021. But already cried too much this year! 🙃
Ok, I cant stand seeing you cry. Sending you a virtual hug.
This book is scary.
I finished this book like a week ago and surprisingly I didn’t cry not even a little bit. I’m such a sensitive person and I know the story is really sad so I don’t know why it didn’t made me cry and I’m sooo disappointed ☹️
The exact same thing!!!!! I was expecting such a sob fest and not a thing.
I know people who found it so traumatic that they just numbed out and couldn't even process how horrific and heartbreaking the story was!!
I also didn't cry and it honestly made me feel bad that I didn't, it made me feel like a bad person or sum'n.
I almost cried, but then it just got to be too much. It was over the top with Jude’s misfortune that the story lost me. 🤷🏻♀️
Same thing happened to me. So many people cried reading this book, and being a super sensitive person, i thought I’d be sobbing. Of course it was heavy, but maybe I just will never be able to fully relate to this story since Jude’s life was so insanely sad and extreme. When I would read the sad parts, I took them for what they were but they didn’t yield that physical response from me. Am I broken? Lol
The way I’m so emotionally sensitive that i started crying just because i saw and heard you crying and it hurt me too to not be able to comfort you
I read this book cause no book had ever made me tear up... This book made me bawl like a child
i've been so excited for this vlog because 'a little life' is my favourite book. as i am re-reading it at the moment, for the third time (why oh why), i've realized how much this book talks about hope. like, we all know it's traumatizing. because it is. but the little sparkles of hope - that i didn't notice when i read it two times before - made me annotate the shit out of this novel and made me shift my perception of it completely.
i understand where you are getting at with the recommendation and hype around this book. i've never really thought about it this way. thanks for opening my eyes, noelle. grief and trauma shouldn't be glorified in a way 'wow this made me cry, read it'.
I'm so early I didn't even need a notification. I'M SO READY FOR THIS VLOG
I think that people want to bond over this book precisely because of the emotional reaction they have to it because discussing something that completely wrecked you results in a completely different collective reading experience.
i could feel the pain when you were crying and it TRULY brought me back to when i first read this book
This has literally been the best book review I’ve seen. Thank you so much for being honest and letting people know and understand that it’s not for everyone to read.
Your thoughts at the end about recommending this book are so right on. I have not ever recommended this book to anyone. When someone tells me that they are going to read it I always say, "gear up cuz this is gonna hurt." I know people that could not and should not ever read this. This book could be exponentially harmful to someone in the wrong mindset. That being said, I did love the book for the very reason you said.....that the characters don't feel like fiction, like Jude really exists. Thank you for vlogging your experience as it is a very very emotional one.
It took me like two weeks to read this book and I swear I was in such a mood those two weeks and I didn't connect the book to my mood till the end. When I finished I knew this was what had me depressed. I gave it 5 stars! Ill say its my favorite book, Ive never felt the feelings I felt with any other book I've read, its been more than a year since I read it and I still have the characters so alive in my head its impressive. SUCH a good read! Such a visceral experience. 10/10
I didn’t cry until the very last part. The book made me feel numb and I didn’t have any reaction while reading it because it was too much. I had to take a break and when I came back a few weeks later and read the last hundred pages all the feelings hit at once.
I feel so heartless whenever I hear someone talk about this book. I cry literally at everything, like a pigeon drops a bread crumb and i will cry, but I just felt nothing with this book. :(
Your brain is probably trying to protect you from the trauma.
Weird as it sounds, Kat's "A Little Life vlog" is one of my favorite videos!
I don’t care what anyone says Jersey Shore is incredible
i feel like everything you said about asking ourselves why we love it and love to recommend it is extremely valid even though it’s my favorite book of all time! BECAUSE it’s my favorite book of all time actually i ask myself a lot why i still recommend and why it’s my favorite and i feel like it’s a great conversation starter! so weird though
Since watching yours and Kats reading vlogs of this I've taken it off my TBR. I often find myself reading books that contain heavy topics in order to "teach myself something" but I don't always feel better for it. I think this will just sit with me uncomfortably for weeks, so I'd rather miss out on the beautiful writing and not sob for days on end
I agree with everything you’ve said here, this book is my favourite book of all time, but I am very careful when recommending it to people. I would only ever recommend it to close friends, and am sure to make them aware of the potential triggers. This book means the world to me, as I have struggled a lot with metal health in the past, and the raw and beautiful way that this story is told can’t help but make me fall in love with it. Totally agree with everything you said, great review, Noelle!😇
This is so nice to watch your final thoughts on this because this is the first time I’ve ever hesitated on reading this book. I LOVE books that make me feel extreme emotions so when booktube/ the book community introduced me to the idea of A Little Life, I was like “heck yeah let’s do it”. But this is the first time the final thoughts on this novel made me hesitant to read it. There IS a sort of cult mentality when it comes to this book (but also a lot of really popular books in general) in this community and with something that is so hard hitting, it seems weird to recommend this book to *everyone*. Someone who is struggling right now shouldn’t be reading a horribly sad book. Seems weird that a community that’s usually really good with giving trigger warnings doesn’t talk about this painful reading experiences something that IS triggering to people.
I finished A Little Life last month. This book was recommended by another BookTuber almost two years ago. It took me a year and half years to read. When I finished Part two of the book I had to take a long time off. After a six month break I decided to pick it up again. When I finished it I was completely useless for a whole day. I really identified with Jude so much, and I was hoping that Jude would have a happy ending, but when the Happy Years ended, I knew it was not going to happen that way. I took a little break and read a couple of other books. I was broken by A Little Life, but I was also relieved to be finished. I don't cry usually at books, but this book had me crying so much at the end that I just couldn't even think straight. I just had to watch this vlog since I am still coming down off the emotional rollercoaster that book had me on. What book did you pick up after A Little Life? I think I picked up Turtles All the Way Down by John Green which I finished a day or two after A Little Life.
Well said! I would NOT recommend this book to anyone who may be in an emotionally unstable place. It can be super triggering if you're not in the right headspace.
Throughout this entire reading vlog, I wanted to give you a big hug. I've been wanting to read A Little Life, but I don't like feeling sad. So, I've been putting off the book.
i’m so glad that you mentioned that no one should feel fomo about not reading this book... i’m sixteen and have been told countless amount of times to read this book because its “so good” and “so sad” but i haven’t picked it up because i worry that it’ll take a toll on my mental health. so thank you for being real with us about everything this book made you feel, i really appreciate it. ❤️
i told myself when i read it that i would never recommend it to anyone as i feel like it is so heavy and emotionally taxing that it is something you should find out about and decide to read for yourself. it’s crazy that people would want someone else to go through such emotional trauma because that is literally what it is. i personally loved it (wish i read it at a different time lol) but it’s so weird how people are about it. it’s like why do you want another person to feel such lol
watching her sob almost brought me to tears. meanwhile the book is sitting in my bookshelf untouched.
Haven't read the book, but I got teary eyed almost every time you did!!!!!
Cabin fever is a helluva thing. What's worked for me is going for walks at least 3x per week, and doing Yoga with Adriene. Maybe you can go for a bike ride, go to the beach, go for a hike. Get some vitamin D. If it's too hot you can mix it up with nighttime walks/bike rides, etc. You can probably find places outdoors that aren't super crowded so you're still socially distant. You may have to drive to them if you live in a more crowded area. After that you can order takeout and eat it in the park (again somewhere you can socially distance). Hope you feel better tomorrow. :)
You spoke about this book at the end so carefully and with such intelligent thoughts. This book has been on my reading list for some time because of the hype, but I think it's been super valuable hearing your views on it especially in the fact that it is incredibly painful and potentially triggering beyond just being a sad book. I totally agree with you about the community around this book often seems to want to share the pain and that can actually be quite hazardous if someone is not prepared when they read it. ♥️♥️ I LOVE YOUR READING VLOGS NOELLE and your content in general. So glad I found you during lockdown times
I love that your videos are so long that i can watch them in many small parts so its like you upload a few times a week which makes me really happy
“Why is that something we want to bond over?” Because misery loves company. 😂😭😭
“I do not recommend this to any” ..my numb ass adding to cart😬
Oh, good luck.
just ordered it wish me luck
@@abbybonilla2889 good luck yall, i read this book in September 2020 and it literally destroyed me.
Aghh I normally love books that make me feel things really intensely but this seems really overwhelming
I love how puzzles are just there, on the table
I feel the same about recommending it. So many of my friends who haven’t read it always ask me if they should and I’m just like...I cannot in good faith recommend this book to you ahaha read at your own risk
a little life has been my favorite book i've ever read for almost 2 years now, but i don't think it's my favorite book because of the content. i think it's my favorite book because it's the only book i've ever read where i genuinely put myself completely into the story. by the end, i felt as though i could have done something to protect willem or jude, or as though harold was an old friend of mine, all i wanted to do was comfort him and love him. it was almost difficult for me to process after finishing that the characters were fictional, i couldn't handle the fact that everyone in the book just ceased to exist after the last page. i had never experienced that sort of intimacy with a book before a little life and despite completely crushing me after i read it, i realized that that's kind of the whole point- it's supposed to hurt. at the same time, i don't recommend recommending this book to anyone. people will find it on their own, i genuinely learned that you have to go into this book with a steady and positive mindset or it's going to take a really long time to recover from. it's a really really intense read and even after two years i still find myself thinking about the 4 guys lives and how things could have gone differently.
I havent read this and I totally feel like I cant relate to the intense feelings towards this book. Like I feel like I need to know more about it to understand you but im scared to go down that road as well...
GOD BLESS Noelle I needed this today! I am a teacher, and it’s the first day of online school... needless to say a distraction in the midst of today’s uncertainty is so so welcome!!
I feel like your vlogs are like a video from a dear friend, thank you for your genuine nature!!!
When the book got to the Dr Traylor part is when I checked out for awhile. It was just one too many traumas to be believable. I don’t know. It was just too much.
I cried when I read it. Not as in crying my eyes out. More on that I was sweaty, anxious and putting book down like more than a hundred times. For this intense style of writing, hanya has all my respects.
I thought I was the only one who watched Kats vlog multiple times 😂
We're on the same boat :)
I 100% agree. It's in my top 5 favorite books I've ever read, but it's also NOT for everyone and shouldn't be taken lightly as a highly recommended book. I knew going into it that it would be extremely difficult to read in terms of content but nothing can prepare you for this experience. It's a book that will stay with me forever. Thank you for your honest reaction.
HDHSHD THE EDITING IN THE BEGINNING THIS IS ALREADY SO GOOD
i feel like theres something special about the tragedy and intense intense sadness of this books that’s incredibly different from most all books that makes a huge impact on people and makes them immediately recommend it as an amazing book that someone they know should read. your thoughts wasnt something i considered because i read it relatively unknowingly of what was ahead of me but i totally agree that it should not be taken lightly. it can be extremely triggering to people not in a great mindset or mental state and i actually discouraged a friend from reading it for that reason. but i think the heavy recommendations come from a interesting part of human nature that you touched on with the need for “shared trauma”. great video
Can we just talk about where the title came from. When I read that bit, my entire body started to writhe. Just sickening.
For *years* I've um'd and ah'd about picking this up and have been left feeling like I've missed out on some shared experience having not read it. But after hearing you say that not everyone _should_ read this book and that it won't be healthy for a majority of people you've truly made me feel as though I've made the right choice in not picking it up. Thank you ❤
I literally cried watching you cry. This book is a lot :(
i think a reason people want to bond over such sad stories is because of how incredible it is to experience a story that you care so much about and are so engrossed in that it affects you so deeply and can have the same effect on complete strangers. although i've never read A Little Life so i'm not sure if all that pain has any pay off................ but imma buy it
i'm so glad more people are reading this and discovered the tragic beauty that A Little Life is. Never have I cried myself to sleep thinking about a FICTIONAL character! Jude forever lives in my heart
I agree so much with the conclusion you made at the end of the video. When I was reading this book I needed somebody to talk to because the topics of A Little Life are something you have to discuss and not just keep for yourself. And my friends who haven’t read it asked me if I recommend it, and I was telling “god no, don’t read this” because they all were going through some hard times and depressive moods, and I really think that before recommending it to anybody one has to make sure that the person who’s about to read it is mentally stable and it won’t awake their own traumas. Though I enjoyed (if I can say so) reading it and think it was one of the best books I’ve read this year
Couldn’t agree more with your final thoughts. I was astonished when I got deep into this book after seeing so many reviews/videos - practically demanding that everyone and anyone read it - that NOT ONE persons recommendation came with a TW of any kind. It’s a book I’ve taken from a 4-star rating down to a 2 over the months that passed since I read it because ultimately, while HY’s writing style was truly enjoyable, nuanced, and individual, it just all got too torture-porn for me and hindsight only worsened that. Loved this video (and thank you for having some responsible final words to say!)
I’ve never cried reading a book before and I am wanting to read A Little Life soon and all the videos I watch about it makes me feel, that books going be the book to break me.
Being called "petunia" has filled a void of affection I didn't even realize I had
This book has become an absolute favorite. It tore me to pieces but the underlying story is so beautiful. I will defend it and protect it forever
This book has been sold out everywhere in the physical stores around here, I’ve taken it as a sign that I’m not ready for the amount of crying. I may have to venture out to Amazon soon. I do want some other edition than the one everyone seems to have though, the cover is a bit too on the nose re. the inevitable crying.
edit: watching you cry made me cry. I feel like I’m definitely not ready.
edit 2: great insight re. perpetuating the trauma of reading the book. I do want to read it, but I think I need to schedule it for a time when I can cry for a day or two but not be in a situation where I let it consume me. Like, I was just on vacation for 5 weeks and it was a staycation because we all know why, and I think it would’ve really f***ed me up because I had nothing going on. I’m going to aim for a week where I can mostly work from home and then take a weekend.
Having said that, I feel like there may be a fine line between a great book and being emotionally manipulated. Now I want to read it just to find out which it is 😂
The UK cover is just plain white with the Title written across.
If you do end up buying it I recommend purchasing from a local bookstore (that you can still do online!) or from bookshop/indiebound rather than amazon. Helps support local business 🙂
Abigail B Good point, I will try to do that!