Why can't I connect with my inner child? ep.209

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 79

  • @thepainteduniverse3648
    @thepainteduniverse3648 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +136

    I notice you keep calling yourself a “weird therapist on the internet.” I think you deserve a lot better than that. “Cool therapist on the internet” would be a good start. 😘❤

    • @celestialcucumber4684
      @celestialcucumber4684 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I think about this all the time too! More like amazing therapist on the internet 💕

    • @thepainteduniverse3648
      @thepainteduniverse3648 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yep, that was the word I had in mind too, but I figure she might need to work up to it gradually. 😄👏❤@@celestialcucumber4684

    • @thepainteduniverse3648
      @thepainteduniverse3648 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yep, that was the word I had in mind too, but I figure she might need to work up to it gradually. 😄👏❤@@celestialcucumber4684

    • @thepainteduniverse3648
      @thepainteduniverse3648 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      @@celestialcucumber4684Yep, that was the word I had in mind too, but I figured she might need to work up to it gradually. 😄👏❤

    • @alshimasalah1813
      @alshimasalah1813 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Sweet 🎂 kind ☺️ therapist ❤

  • @HeathaLynn13
    @HeathaLynn13 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I love your channel and the way you speak. It’s very clear, comforting and easy to understand. Thank you

    • @MalinoisDoodleMischief
      @MalinoisDoodleMischief 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wish the algorithm suggested her sooner! It seems like the algorithm is trying to help by listening to our daily life if I’m honest. But yeah she is so sincere you can see it in her body language and facial expression, it is permeating from her and aura!

  • @dflojr1
    @dflojr1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    She's often on point!

  • @GlitteryPegasus
    @GlitteryPegasus 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I know when I started bandaging and taking care of self harm wounds, I started doing it less and less until I stopped. Use a red Sharpie when you want to self harm. I promise, the red mark feels just as validating. And, you have to scrub really hard to get it off. Which hurts a bit, but doesn't leave any scars. Using a Sharpie helped me immensely. I've heard of people doing artwork. I think that's an amazing idea. But, honestly, I just wanted pain, and red marks were enough for me. I still keep a red Sharpie, even though, I (mostly) don't have self harm urges anymore. I think it's a great thing to have on hand as a coping skill.
    Be well, everyone.

    • @rogueerised979
      @rogueerised979 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Tattoo pens & hand cream. Good substitute.
      Agree drawing on your arms is double the effect, sensation of pen & creative emotional expression.

    • @susanchamer8151
      @susanchamer8151 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The red marker seems like such a big step in a better direction 😮🎉

  • @janetslater129
    @janetslater129 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I struggled with inner child work, as my inner little girl would often "disappear," or often "hide," to where I couldn't find her, and certainly wouldn't be able to bring her out. My therapist at the time and I tried this off and on for a few months, but didn't have much success with it. The most I could do was just maybe check in with her for when she would appear, and just give her a ton of space, as she could easily "switch' and "disappear" again. I hope this makes sense.

  • @loriyarbour7966
    @loriyarbour7966 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I’ve been dealing with attachment for so long that I don’t think it will ever go away. I’ve been in therapy for almost 5 yrs and my therapist and I have talked about it.

    • @justanotherfan18
      @justanotherfan18 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Takes time...keep talking about it. It does get better

    • @loriyarbour7966
      @loriyarbour7966 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@justanotherfan18 At one point I thought it has diminished, but it didn’t last long. I’m so tired of dealing with it. I don’t know what else she and I can talk about concerning it. I’ve come to terms with not having my emotional needs met from my mother. My mom done the best she good and so I don’t fault her. If I have come to terms with it I don’t understand why I still have this emotional void.

  • @pandagiri
    @pandagiri 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    RE: reporting licensed doctors to a board... (TW: harmful doctor)
    Unfortunately it isn't as easy or as good as that sounds.
    I had a gynecologist that was well aware of my sexual assault in my records. I am also ace and do not participate in any sexual acts. I was struggling with horrific grapefruit-sized fibroids that were not only in my uterus but also covering my cervix. They tried to look inside with a tool that had to be inserted. I asked if there was any other way and they said no. The only way for them to diagnose me and possibly suggest having a hysterectomy is if they had a look inside. Despite being aware of my past trauma, they couldn't get passed the fibroid that had lodged and covered up my cervix (and thus also my uterus). So instead of stopping, they kept ramming the camera tool inside me, pulling it out then shoved back in as hard as they could... over and over again.
    I sent a report to the Oregon state board of doctors and also to the state, and they said they could not find any wrongful behavior and couldn't do anything about it.
    Unfortunately, Ms. Kati, the board isn't on our side. They're subjected to same level of corruption as anyone else with power, beholden to anyone that pays the most. They didn't believe me because this doctor has shown exceptional work previously, supposedly.

    • @Star-dj1kw
      @Star-dj1kw 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Oh my goodness!! That is terrible!! I am so sorry.
      That should have been done under sedation. 😡😡

    • @sabinacizkova6048
      @sabinacizkova6048 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I feel sorry for you, this is so wrong... 😢

    • @pandagiri
      @pandagiri 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Star-dj1kwI agree, although another option that didn't involve feeling violated would have been better (as another gynecologist I found did). My husband (also ace) was present in the room and he said I was gripping his hand very hard and in obvious pain. Didn't stop the gyn or her assistant. He asked them to stop and they didn't stop because I was crying so hard. So he witnessed the whole thing and still nothing from the board.

    • @noanoa332
      @noanoa332 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm truly sorry you went through that.
      Medicine is a misogynistic field, in gynecology there's often violence towards the patients. There's a woman in my country (psychologist and writer) who educates on this subject, due to her own experience during labor. I've learned so much thanks to her that now I'm honestly scared to go to the doctor, but at the same time, I'm a lot more confident about the practices and behaviors or even speech that I want to tolerate and the ones I don't.
      It is sad an shameful that doctors behave like this. Not only is it unacceptable to deliberately cause pain to someone, but many of them don't seem to have a tiny bit of empathy.

  • @0xymor3
    @0xymor3 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    The last one was really nice to have a explanation on, I still feel very triggered with anything regarded to responsability or guilt probably because I was emotionnaly neglected.
    So hearing that you still have power even when you feel powerless is hard. And I know it means to help or empower in order to change.
    But yes, it feels kinda victim blaming in a way as you would be seen responsible for not doing enough to change. Like we are already in a bad place and they say it's a little of our fault too, look at what you're doing today !
    I've finished a book form a therapist that was speaking even about a form of addiction to pain because it's all we know, that's what is safe, our go to.
    Mental health is hard, I didn't sign up for that. 😣
    But to end on positive note thank you for you videos it helps !

    • @rogueerised979
      @rogueerised979 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Name of book?

    • @0xymor3
      @0xymor3 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@rogueerised979 Your pocket therapist by Annie Zimmerman

  • @morganmiller-bt8kh
    @morganmiller-bt8kh 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Thank you, Kati. I hope you're well

  • @celestialcucumber4684
    @celestialcucumber4684 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thanks for being here Kati 🩷

  • @ajc4314
    @ajc4314 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hello Kati, I love your content and I have been watching for years. It is really helping understand myself and people going on around me.
    I might be in the minority, I might not like change and I give you all the room for you to continue how you have chosen to take your show but I would also like to honor myself and speak up for myself and anyone else too scared to speak up:
    I actually prefer the longer episodes. I don't really enjoy the "let me tell you what I am going to tell you" even though I understand that the rule is: "tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them and then tell them what you told them" I find the rule grating and gives people room to not really pay attention. Thirdly and while I probably have the courage to say anything these dislikes are doubled by connecting shortened content AND added an "I'll tell you what I am going to tell section, making what you actually have to say even less." I just start settling in and bam the episode is over.
    May you be well and continue however is best for you. Thank you

  • @nikkimckay860
    @nikkimckay860 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    @katimorton:Thanks for always recording and putting out these mental health podcasts you honestly are a lovely person and therapist you care so much ❤️ ❤

  • @nikkimckay860
    @nikkimckay860 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    AKA&OTDM.hello and good afternoon Kati it's been a while since iv been listening and watching these Podcasts so I am just jumping back in I really am going through a horrible depression state right now for over a week I'm struggling and feeling exhausted trying to fight and push though my mental health I really needed to get back into watching and listening to you you looking beautiful very nice top too hopefully I can relate to some of the questions your podcast use too help I hope they can again ❤❤

  • @otrinolaringolog
    @otrinolaringolog 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Oh, Kati, you do look so beautiful and peaceful today. I'm so glad seeing you this way. My inspiration
    ...

  • @Katy-qk7qo
    @Katy-qk7qo 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Hi, Kati~ I didn't find your podcasts all that long ago, but gain some fresh insight from each one I listen to. Thank you for the thought, energy, and positive regard you put into producing them! What are you referring to when you end each podcast with, "Do your homework"? (Apologies if its explained somewhere obvious; I haven't landed on it yet.) I am a dedicated believer in therapy homework! 😉 Thanks so much, Katy

  • @saramedlin3343
    @saramedlin3343 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thanks for everything you do your podcast has gotten me through some really hard times your awesome

  • @nikkimckay860
    @nikkimckay860 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Just want to share in the comments in this safe space I haven't been in therapy for over a year and I am still on a waiting list waiting for the mental health service s to contact me but I must try my best to cope because the list is so long everyone else here going through the same thing I send you care /and prayers because fighting mental health and without help is hard ❤❤

  • @MoonOvIce
    @MoonOvIce 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I could always connect easily to my inner teenager, not so much my inner child though. I'm only 35 though, many people connect to their inner child much later in life I find.

    • @loriyarbour7966
      @loriyarbour7966 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m 52 and I have not connected with my inner child.

  • @angko-pe
    @angko-pe 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thanks for answering my question, question 6. I like your quote a lot better 😅 Thanks

  • @ladybaabaa3294
    @ladybaabaa3294 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I also can't access my inner child. I'm 45 and have never liked most kids, even when I WAS one! lol. I've never had any maternal instincts apart from animals. The only way I can look at my young self with any kind of love and compassion is if I view or imagine her through my mum's eyes, as my mum loved / loves me so much.
    Vulnerability to me...means different things depending on who is being vulnerable.
    If it's me? It makes me feel embarrassed, unworthy, inferior, shameful, stupid, disgusting and helpless.
    If it's my few most deeply loved ones who are being vulnerable, I feel scared, like they're not ok and it freaks me out. I feel like I have to fix it or make things happy or funny to bring relief.
    If it's a friend or someone I'm attracted to who is being vulnerable? The former makes me feel awkward and I just want to leave, as I don't really care. OR I feel somewhat mentally stimulated because I can offer advice and insight, which boosts my ego. The latter, it makes me feel turned on and in a position of power. I've always been drawn to strong, tough, stoic people who I then want to "crack" and see their soft, emotional, upset, vulnerable side. Then I feel excited.
    I am REALLY messed up!!!

    • @katiekowalke2788
      @katiekowalke2788 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      THANK YOU FOR SHARING. I feel exactly the same way, but could never put it into words. I couldn't even articulate it to myself!
      I hope you know, even though it sucks, you are not in this struggle alone ❤

    • @ladybaabaa3294
      @ladybaabaa3294 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@katiekowalke2788 Aw, thank you for this! ❤️

  • @shawnvanorder
    @shawnvanorder 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Have a great day Kati! Love your content 💕☮️

  • @alibongois
    @alibongois 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The semantics ideas sound amazing for my ADHD child. Def going to try this for us both

  • @creativityworkoutsforartan6951
    @creativityworkoutsforartan6951 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Peter Levine's Voo breathing helps me with disregulation.

  • @True2u71
    @True2u71 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Great video!!

  • @leonievh1223
    @leonievh1223 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I carry too much anger in side me to properly work though this stuff and scared,ashamed and struggle to really trust if that makes sense I really hope I can work through my anger issues and trust issues...

  • @Happygoddessa
    @Happygoddessa 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    That's good. Thanks for sharing this.

  • @WitchyHocusPocus
    @WitchyHocusPocus 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Umm..I too have been in therapy long term, hardly any help or progress. Why is it therapists do not provide us with recovery books? So we can have and learn tools, and actually strive towards healing? We as the customers do not know "ALL" of what we are supposed to learn or ask? That is what we are paying the therapist for! Not to just tell them about what abuse our husbands did to us last week for the hour. How does that help us heal and grow? It doesn't!

  • @justanotherfan18
    @justanotherfan18 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hey, passing on some great information for anyone interested in learning about IFS, Resistance, Inner Child Work, etc...Dr. Tori Olds explains things in a way that is so understandable and you can put somethings into practice.

  • @justanotherfan18
    @justanotherfan18 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Agree with a lot of what you say Kati!!

  • @Star-dj1kw
    @Star-dj1kw 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Time Stamps 0:43 Question 1 how do I stop feeling like my therapist is not being sincere in the advice they give me but they only listen to me bc I pay them?
    6:08 Why can’t I connect with my inner child? Ques 3 15:29 Unhealthy, very anxious attachment to my therapist

  • @t-man5196
    @t-man5196 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Damn after seeing the thumbnail for this vid i was really hoping this was an SPH video, I assumed it wasn't after seeing the title, but the hope remained

  • @YoucancallmeMarcie
    @YoucancallmeMarcie 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I like that my therapist challenges me

  • @staceyruwoldt9158
    @staceyruwoldt9158 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Hi Kati really appreciate your videos 🙂 My dreams haven't being too pleasant lately at night.
    I was wondering if you could give your advice on what they mean 😘 One dream I had I was wearing underwear/ that were too small and..
    Felt very uncomfortable in my dream

  • @nature-nomads
    @nature-nomads 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hej Kati, more than thank you for your information!! Question: how come I am wainting for the next session to come, and when it finally starts I am in a survivemode, waiting till it over... 🙈

  • @TheDarkestStarRMS2
    @TheDarkestStarRMS2 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I wanna comment... and I type out so many things, but then I delete them because I feel like anything I say or feel is not important.
    I'll probably delete this later.

    • @legoguru3000
      @legoguru3000 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I wanna see what you have to say

  • @evas.203
    @evas.203 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Hi Kati! I have a question.
    My therapist says that I am resisting therapy, as if refusing to get better. It’s debilitating to hear, especially because my previous therapist of 5 years also said that to me (I am 26). She at least understands it’s not entirely a conscious decision of mine and also brought to light that I have issues with emotion regulation and awareness. I also battle with undiagnosed anxiety and depression (hence the emotional numbness), though undiagnosed. Can you recommend any practices/thought patterns on how to overcome these obstacles, so that I can reap the therapy benefits and actually become a better version of myself? Thanks for everything!

    • @justanotherfan18
      @justanotherfan18 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Try looking up Dr. Tori Olds...her video on Resistance is great! Good luck

  • @kathysanders5652
    @kathysanders5652 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Im a incest survivor and i got ptsd and borderline personality disorder im on social security disability im 58 going out with toxic men like my dad and im thinking he was a narcissist person parents were married 67years i had to leave home when i was 13 to foster care because mom picked dad over me very ffff sick i did forgive him for me and i was 47 he never told me he was sorry but because u love god u have to forgive i had a spiritual awakening of healing from what my dad did to me at age 9 inter corse. .its hard for me to keep men because of my abuse

  • @saltiestsiren
    @saltiestsiren 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I think I doubt what my therapist says not because I pay her but because what she's saying is what she was taught to say, which is determined by research-backed therapeutic techniques. The techniques taught are the ones that work, obviously, so naturally the things I'm told are supposed to make me feel better or are meant to hold my hand and lead me toward a better place. But I don't want to be told some recycled lines used on people from all walks of life because I'm not those people. My therapist doesn't know me; I mean, nobody can. From her, I want the TRUTH, and a lot of the time the things I'm told just reek of BS. Are they actually BS? Maybe, maybe not.

  • @sabinacizkova6048
    @sabinacizkova6048 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hello!🙂 Sometimes, when i cant have my own therapist at the moment, i will look at your videos and it really helps me❤. And i really want to ask, if you can do video on passive suicidal ideation someday.. I also have trust issues but also want connection so badly. Why do i feel like fraud, when i know that am not only one who has mental health problems?... I dont know if you will answer, or is there some special place, where i should send my question to?

  • @lisarussell2914
    @lisarussell2914 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hi Kati,
    I have a question about GPs.... I have been with her since I was 6 years old and have been with her for almost 30 years and terrified because she is retiring... she knows me inside and out. And she manages my medications. I feel like she is the only person that really knows me. I'm terrified to have to retraumatize myself by starting off with a new GP??? Especially if it's a male doctor... since childhood sexual abuse, I've only feel comfortable with female counselors and doctors... and I am also looking for a permanent therapist, been shuffled between OHIP covered, which is also really terrifing

  • @SurferJoe1
    @SurferJoe1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Maybe the therapist could tell us what we want to hear, but charge the big bucks for that. "Hey, you're fine, it's all everybody else's fault! That'll be five bills, Mac!" Everybody wins. (I'm kidding!)

  • @justanotherfan18
    @justanotherfan18 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Talk to your resistance, Resistance why or what are you afraid of??

  • @indridcold8433
    @indridcold8433 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I can not connect with anybody, not even myself. I am so unconnected I do not even have a telephone.

  • @Star-dj1kw
    @Star-dj1kw 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ✅ good

  • @Ali-dp6xv
    @Ali-dp6xv 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    ahh...umm. why do I get the feeling that most people clicked the thumbnail for the wrong reason?

    • @TheGrizz485
      @TheGrizz485 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😂