His woman died decades ago ! The little girl is 8 years old man ! I guess he can not add ! But I can and the story does not make any since at all . Rate this story D --
This has a lot of potential, but you keep getting names mixed up. One minute here in two different places next minute one’s working for the other the next minute you’re someplace else so if somebody wants to get the whole story, you need to get out a piece of paper and start sorting out which part of Three parts story is going on here. It’s got a good base line but the construction of the house that’s built on that baseline falls down the first puff of wind (because Evelyn is Emma or Evelyn is Caroline or I don’t know who’s who.) It’s frustrating. As a professor, I see that there is definitely talent here there is definitely a good storyline here, but you need to go back and learn construction. Because otherwise you just have a rambling mess. I would really like to see it redone and done correctly because I think you couldn’t really pull it off. Are you willing to try?
You have conflicts of names and hard to believe made upstory Henry to Arthur ,Emma to lilly,to Carline been deceaced and Christmas card not true story ..
So Emma has now become Lilly.
How did he know where they lived ?
How confused can you get 😂
Grace is now Evelyn?
His woman died decades ago ! The little girl is 8 years old man ! I guess he can not add ! But I can and the story does not make any since at all . Rate this story D --
This has a lot of potential, but you keep getting names mixed up. One minute here in two different places next minute one’s working for the other the next minute you’re someplace else so if somebody wants to get the whole story, you need to get out a piece of paper and start sorting out which part of Three parts story is going on here. It’s got a good base line but the construction of the house that’s built on that baseline falls down the first puff of wind (because Evelyn is Emma or Evelyn is Caroline or I don’t know who’s who.) It’s frustrating. As a professor, I see that there is definitely talent here there is definitely a good storyline here, but you need to go back and learn construction. Because otherwise you just have a rambling mess. I would really like to see it redone and done correctly because I think you couldn’t really pull it off. Are you willing to try?
WTF you changed their names halfway through the story.
Christ the story has suddenly gone from New York to London. Why?
Is it Lily or Emma?
I wondered about that as well.
You have conflicts of names and hard to believe made upstory Henry to Arthur ,Emma to lilly,to Carline been deceaced and Christmas card not true story ..