Really appreciate you taking the time to make this video. There is so much qualitative material and deep wisdom wrapped up into it that I'll have to re-listen to for a few times more to make sure I don't miss anything. It genuinely felt at times, like tasting water when you've only heard about it previously. Thank you!
Thanks so much David. This is the first video I’ve seen of yours, stumbling across it today. It may not have been intended specifically for someone like me or this level of awakening so to speak, but I still feel great benefit from it. I’ll be watching your other videos carefully. Thanks again
This was a great video, thank you. It resonated and was full of lot of very important insights that you don't get to hear too often. I have heard the usual teachings that are thrown around so much that they've lost any meaning, and do nothing but cause confusion for the uninitiated. I enjoyed listening to the story of your awakening, especially the experiences leading up to it. My minding was looking for signs in your experiences and relating them what I've experienced or am experiencing nowadays. There are some definite signs of the same experiences - like recognising how much of sense of identify just boils down to thoughts and how there really isn't much substance to them. It's funny how we so easily latch onto thoughts and derive our sense of identity from them and overlook the being/Isness/presence they're all swimming in. It feels at times like we're all like fish looking for water. Even one clear insight/understanding of the insubstantiality of thought based identity makes you clearly see that all of your ideas and practices and effort and chasing was all coming from and based on the completely wrong idea of who you are - someone who thinks. Many thanks!
Thank you, makes total sense, and what the weirdest is how unexpected all of these “ultimate realities “ occur and are so totally and completely different they seem endless, yet here I still am, somehow agreeing with my sense of self being real and also suffering. And now without the usual defenses to re-build myself as those were swept away, nothing that can be done about this. Just feels good to communicate with someone on this subject.
When I realized I could not escape to that subtle position anymore, nor go back to it, because I made it up, sadness, grief, anger emotions arose. I guess that was the death of self-concept and self-concept going into revolt. I had not been that low since before first awakening. This was immediately reflected/mirrored in external reality. I got into a first real conflict with my partner of 2 years. I wanted to blame my partner for how I was feeling. So much raw emotion. I wanted to blame her repressed anger versus my existential horror lol. Eventually, the ego projection was clear. Dependent arising perhaps. Now, I just practice being in the senses.
@@vidaphoenix9574 Nice. Reminds me of my idea that awakening was an escape from or a cure for the uncomfortable aspects of life or the friction and emotion of relationships but it actually did the opposite. Just like you described, I had the same openings, moments of clarity followed by being served an example of my own fixations or emotional stumbling blocks on a plate 😂 It's like, the insight is only the beginning, it's honouring and living the experience of that where practice comes in. It can be really tough and intense when it's no longer possible to ignore the ways in which we play out the implications of identity. But its so worth doing the work 🙂
The first shift included nondual realization as well as a massive dropping off of "selfing" bits. This was almost 4 years ago now and at the time I didn't know about any of this. Completely out of the blue. Just decided to sit one night and never quite got up. When that shift happens I have wondered if there is any choice. The whole life seems to reorient to investigating and deepening the understanding. It's been like a gradual dissolving since. At first it was like you describe, awareness was like a container but this has clarified over time. I've probably read and contemplated the Bahiya sutta 1000's of times now. It's all there but the understanding seems to be clarifying in experience. Something remains, though. It's not complete. Yet, I have some understanding about everything you describe even down to no one wanting this. There's an aspect to this that is just devastating. I have wondered if I need some of that stuff back 😂 I have come to understand that there is nothing I can do. I can't go back and I can't push this to some sort of conclusion. It mostly seems like it's running itself anyway. Anyway, I like your language in this regard..."relaxing into it" and referring to it as a hobby. I dunno....takes the pressure off lol.
@@instantjp Awesome. The way you described this, especially the last half sounds perfect to me. I can see the Intuition taking over which is what is most obvious to me. Anatta for me was very much a giving up of the spiritual path. Simply practicing presence in life until there was nothing but life appearing presently. It's like, direct experience/presence is cometely inherent. It clarifies in effortlessness. At a certain point, the path is a movement of effort, which starts to become clear in an intuitive way. So then there's a giving up and presence simply replaces the view of the practitioner.
@@instantjp It's like, "fuck the spiritual path let's just be present and enjoy life" was what brought about no self realisation for me 😂 If I'm right, that might be a nice thing to hear lol.
thanks again buddy. Some good pointers: Energetic accumilation of emotion build up inside us, when looked for it and feeling it , and allowing! to feel it. Without holding of this en protective augmentations it released. What released what the thought about it. Seeing emotion as a other sensation....hmmm juicy stuff here :P. This and the previous video where so clear. But still fully "mindbound" :P. Is there something that I don't want to see? As of know I don't think that I have encountered some kind of "fear barrier"?
@@demogadget Sounds like you're intuitively asking the right questions 🙂 It seems it can't be forced though, it's like the clarity brings about what needs to be felt when there is the willingness to feel it at some level. But it could be that you don't have to have a fear response, I don't think it happens that way for some people.
CHAT GPT: Anatta: A mirror that holds no face, A river flowing, never grasped, Not this, not that- The self dissolves like mist at dawn. In emptiness, the heart is free.
Hi David- the nonduality of the senses is so clear to me, but there is still something here. It is like you said, some buildup of emotion, sensation or energy. Can you say more about how this released for you? The only thing that is here that suggests anything is thought. So how can thought still be suggesting a perspective?
Look into impermanence. You could ask, "is there something that's always here?". The closer we get to the direct experience of sensation, the more it clarifies as an ever-changing and constantly morphing vibration that isn't happening in a time line. In trying to find something that is always and consistently" here", the less that inherent view has the ability to feel real as something that's here as "me" which I'm always looking through. For me it had an emotional narrative to it. The emotions strung together in a linear, sequential way that gave the illusion of the emoter that's existing here as some form of energetic subject. An exploration of the sensation of emotion in a visceral way exposed the subtle framing that was being built up around that sensation, owning it in a meta personal way. The key is sensation. The direct experience of sensation. Finding something in this that's consistently here across the comings and goings of sensation in experience. The direct experience of sensation doesn't exist in time and is inherently Nondual. It doesn't even "come and go". Only an observer apart from experience can experience things coming and going. But that view is only forgotten about into the pure simplicity of the senses, it's never discerned or concluded as an experience from a point of view.
In my case, Anata or no self was really scary and out of my body abruptly and seeing that I was not myself at all, but what was observing it and it didn’t stick only lasted a little bit of time, but it was not fun, do you have any insights on this?
@@DenaA-d5i Yeah, what you described, that experience, is your experience right now, just without the mental interpretation of subject/object. So it wasn't a specific experience you had, but the temporary absence of "you" as the experiencer. Because the mind, or the position of "me" as the subject can't understand this without it's interpretive filters (which are thoughts augmented onto the Nondual Sense Experience), it freaks out and there can be a lot of intense fear because "I don't know what's happening/I can't find myself". So thought frames it as a specific experience that "happened to me at this time". The actual insight or clarity that was there, is here now. It is still your experience. It's just that there is a subject/object interpretation being added to it that frames it as a personal experience. Does that make sense/sound right? This happened to me loads of times, but the Nondual clarity overtook the subjective view that was being taken to contextualise it and eventually the Nondual clarity included that view too and all the thoughts. It turned out that it was that subjective view that was creating the disturbing fear reaction. That just stops happening (it didn't last long anyway, it came and went quickly loads of times) and it becomes the most beautiful experience you have ever had, because it's not limited to an experiencer, time, space, qualities etc.. That you have experienced that, part of you at an intuitive and instinctive level knows it and you will be able to orient yourself into that clarity again (only happens right now) when ready. But you may have to feel that fear and the emotions. They don't last when you let go into the feeling, it's completely OK, but the resistance to that is what creates the discomfort.
Thanks I really appreciate your directness and honesty. This universal subject, why is that not your true identity? And everyone’s? Every appearance? After all the shifts is there experience of unconditional love under/pervading all appearance even those the body/mind David does not prefer?
You're right it is our true identity, we are all that essentialy, in the identity sense. But this goes deeper than identity (no self). The unconditional love appears to me like, as the mystery that this even exists, but also doesn't exist, too free to be anything. The kind of liberation that is "under" the identity structure is impossible to describe because it's too paradoxical and isn't personal. But for me "love" isn't enough to describe it, because it doesn't exclude all the hate.
Or at least, I don't think it's possible for that identity to know what unconditional love is. Because it exists due to an obvious condition. Having to be something. There is an aversion built into that that will automatically view a reality through conditions. If that makes sense. But yeah, whatever "unconditional love" points to in the Total and Nondual sense, yeah.
@difficult_to_describemy sense of the unconditional love aspect of This or that IS This is the fact that all can appear or not as freely as it does. it’s not bound by ANYTHING. and i can’t say i feel this or i don’t feel this to be the case, but it is absolutely not doubted. ❤
Sounds like you've memorised everything Angelo says, understood it conceptually, and are writing your own essay on it. Tweak a few words to avoid full plagiarism.
@difficult_to_describe no law suits required, only what's real. I had self vansih like a mist under the hot sun in 2022, and in 2012 when I had never heard of non duality or no self. There's something about the way you talk that is of memory and intellect only. Not a good scene to set yourself up for a great fall, if you're only speaking from the head. I hope for your sake that you're not.
Really appreciate you taking the time to make this video. There is so much qualitative material and deep wisdom wrapped up into it that I'll have to re-listen to for a few times more to make sure I don't miss anything. It genuinely felt at times, like tasting water when you've only heard about it previously. Thank you!
Thanks so much David. This is the first video I’ve seen of yours, stumbling across it today. It may not have been intended specifically for someone like me or this level of awakening so to speak, but I still feel great benefit from it. I’ll be watching your other videos carefully. Thanks again
@@kennyburch Thank you!
Thank you for the time and energy you put into making these videos!
This was a great video, thank you. It resonated and was full of lot of very important insights that you don't get to hear too often. I have heard the usual teachings that are thrown around so much that they've lost any meaning, and do nothing but cause confusion for the uninitiated. I enjoyed listening to the story of your awakening, especially the experiences leading up to it. My minding was looking for signs in your experiences and relating them what I've experienced or am experiencing nowadays. There are some definite signs of the same experiences - like recognising how much of sense of identify just boils down to thoughts and how there really isn't much substance to them. It's funny how we so easily latch onto thoughts and derive our sense of identity from them and overlook the being/Isness/presence they're all swimming in. It feels at times like we're all like fish looking for water. Even one clear insight/understanding of the insubstantiality of thought based identity makes you clearly see that all of your ideas and practices and effort and chasing was all coming from and based on the completely wrong idea of who you are - someone who thinks. Many thanks!
Awesome. Glad you can relate! 🙏
Thank you, makes total sense, and what the weirdest is how unexpected all of these “ultimate realities “ occur and are so totally and completely different they seem endless, yet here I still am, somehow agreeing with my sense of self being real and also suffering. And now without the usual defenses to re-build myself as those were swept away, nothing that can be done about this. Just feels good to communicate with someone on this subject.
And thank you!
Thank you so much David, you effort putting into creating this explanation is really appreciated 😊🙏❤
@@annele2097 ❤️
When I realized I could not escape to that subtle position anymore, nor go back to it, because I made it up, sadness, grief, anger emotions arose. I guess that was the death of self-concept and self-concept going into revolt. I had not been that low since before first awakening.
This was immediately reflected/mirrored in external reality. I got into a first real conflict with my partner of 2 years. I wanted to blame my partner for how I was feeling. So much raw emotion. I wanted to blame her repressed anger versus my existential horror lol. Eventually, the ego projection was clear. Dependent arising perhaps.
Now, I just practice being in the senses.
@@vidaphoenix9574 Nice. Reminds me of my idea that awakening was an escape from or a cure for the uncomfortable aspects of life or the friction and emotion of relationships but it actually did the opposite. Just like you described, I had the same openings, moments of clarity followed by being served an example of my own fixations or emotional stumbling blocks on a plate 😂 It's like, the insight is only the beginning, it's honouring and living the experience of that where practice comes in. It can be really tough and intense when it's no longer possible to ignore the ways in which we play out the implications of identity. But its so worth doing the work 🙂
Thank you!!!!
The first shift included nondual realization as well as a massive dropping off of "selfing" bits. This was almost 4 years ago now and at the time I didn't know about any of this. Completely out of the blue. Just decided to sit one night and never quite got up. When that shift happens I have wondered if there is any choice. The whole life seems to reorient to investigating and deepening the understanding. It's been like a gradual dissolving since. At first it was like you describe, awareness was like a container but this has clarified over time. I've probably read and contemplated the Bahiya sutta 1000's of times now. It's all there but the understanding seems to be clarifying in experience. Something remains, though. It's not complete. Yet, I have some understanding about everything you describe even down to no one wanting this. There's an aspect to this that is just devastating. I have wondered if I need some of that stuff back 😂 I have come to understand that there is nothing I can do. I can't go back and I can't push this to some sort of conclusion. It mostly seems like it's running itself anyway. Anyway, I like your language in this regard..."relaxing into it" and referring to it as a hobby. I dunno....takes the pressure off lol.
@@instantjp Awesome. The way you described this, especially the last half sounds perfect to me. I can see the Intuition taking over which is what is most obvious to me.
Anatta for me was very much a giving up of the spiritual path. Simply practicing presence in life until there was nothing but life appearing presently. It's like, direct experience/presence is cometely inherent. It clarifies in effortlessness. At a certain point, the path is a movement of effort, which starts to become clear in an intuitive way. So then there's a giving up and presence simply replaces the view of the practitioner.
@@instantjp It's like, "fuck the spiritual path let's just be present and enjoy life" was what brought about no self realisation for me 😂 If I'm right, that might be a nice thing to hear lol.
thanks again buddy. Some good pointers:
Energetic accumilation of emotion build up inside us, when looked for it and feeling it , and allowing! to feel it. Without holding of this en protective augmentations it released.
What released what the thought about it.
Seeing emotion as a other sensation....hmmm juicy stuff here :P.
This and the previous video where so clear. But still fully "mindbound" :P. Is there something that I don't want to see? As of know I don't think that I have encountered some kind of "fear barrier"?
@@demogadget Sounds like you're intuitively asking the right questions 🙂 It seems it can't be forced though, it's like the clarity brings about what needs to be felt when there is the willingness to feel it at some level. But it could be that you don't have to have a fear response, I don't think it happens that way for some people.
CHAT GPT:
Anatta:
A mirror that holds no face,
A river flowing, never grasped,
Not this, not that-
The self dissolves like mist at dawn.
In emptiness, the heart is free.
@@demogadget Chat GPT is becoming a bit of a Buddha 😂
Hi David- the nonduality of the senses is so clear to me, but there is still something here. It is like you said, some buildup of emotion, sensation or energy. Can you say more about how this released for you? The only thing that is here that suggests anything is thought. So how can thought still be suggesting a perspective?
Look into impermanence. You could ask, "is there something that's always here?". The closer we get to the direct experience of sensation, the more it clarifies as an ever-changing and constantly morphing vibration that isn't happening in a time line. In trying to find something that is always and consistently" here", the less that inherent view has the ability to feel real as something that's here as "me" which I'm always looking through.
For me it had an emotional narrative to it. The emotions strung together in a linear, sequential way that gave the illusion of the emoter that's existing here as some form of energetic subject. An exploration of the sensation of emotion in a visceral way exposed the subtle framing that was being built up around that sensation, owning it in a meta personal way.
The key is sensation. The direct experience of sensation. Finding something in this that's consistently here across the comings and goings of sensation in experience. The direct experience of sensation doesn't exist in time and is inherently Nondual. It doesn't even "come and go". Only an observer apart from experience can experience things coming and going. But that view is only forgotten about into the pure simplicity of the senses, it's never discerned or concluded as an experience from a point of view.
In my case, Anata or no self was really scary and out of my body abruptly and seeing that I was not myself at all, but what was observing it and it didn’t stick only lasted a little bit of time, but it was not fun, do you have any insights on this?
@@DenaA-d5i Yeah, what you described, that experience, is your experience right now, just without the mental interpretation of subject/object. So it wasn't a specific experience you had, but the temporary absence of "you" as the experiencer. Because the mind, or the position of "me" as the subject can't understand this without it's interpretive filters (which are thoughts augmented onto the Nondual Sense Experience), it freaks out and there can be a lot of intense fear because "I don't know what's happening/I can't find myself". So thought frames it as a specific experience that "happened to me at this time". The actual insight or clarity that was there, is here now. It is still your experience. It's just that there is a subject/object interpretation being added to it that frames it as a personal experience. Does that make sense/sound right?
This happened to me loads of times, but the Nondual clarity overtook the subjective view that was being taken to contextualise it and eventually the Nondual clarity included that view too and all the thoughts. It turned out that it was that subjective view that was creating the disturbing fear reaction. That just stops happening (it didn't last long anyway, it came and went quickly loads of times) and it becomes the most beautiful experience you have ever had, because it's not limited to an experiencer, time, space, qualities etc..
That you have experienced that, part of you at an intuitive and instinctive level knows it and you will be able to orient yourself into that clarity again (only happens right now) when ready. But you may have to feel that fear and the emotions. They don't last when you let go into the feeling, it's completely OK, but the resistance to that is what creates the discomfort.
Thanks I really appreciate your directness and honesty. This universal subject, why is that not your true identity? And everyone’s? Every appearance? After all the shifts is there experience of unconditional love under/pervading all appearance even those the body/mind David does not prefer?
You're right it is our true identity, we are all that essentialy, in the identity sense. But this goes deeper than identity (no self).
The unconditional love appears to me like, as the mystery that this even exists, but also doesn't exist, too free to be anything. The kind of liberation that is "under" the identity structure is impossible to describe because it's too paradoxical and isn't personal. But for me "love" isn't enough to describe it, because it doesn't exclude all the hate.
Or at least, I don't think it's possible for that identity to know what unconditional love is. Because it exists due to an obvious condition. Having to be something. There is an aversion built into that that will automatically view a reality through conditions. If that makes sense. But yeah, whatever "unconditional love" points to in the Total and Nondual sense, yeah.
@difficult_to_describemy sense of the unconditional love aspect of This or that IS This is the fact that all can appear or not as freely as it does. it’s not bound by ANYTHING. and i can’t say i feel this or i don’t feel this to be the case, but it is absolutely not doubted. ❤
Sounds like you've memorised everything Angelo says, understood it conceptually, and are writing your own essay on it. Tweak a few words to avoid full plagiarism.
@@Manofhere Yeah I've already received the lawsuit from Angelo. He needs the settlement to pay off Adyashanti and the guys at ATR 😂
@difficult_to_describe no law suits required, only what's real. I had self vansih like a mist under the hot sun in 2022, and in 2012 when I had never heard of non duality or no self. There's something about the way you talk that is of memory and intellect only. Not a good scene to set yourself up for a great fall, if you're only speaking from the head. I hope for your sake that you're not.
@Paintedstoriesarefun Thanks for your feedback and for sharing your concerns ❤️