I can actually see how couples using polite speech could be sweet. We have an elderly couple in our town that goes to the local diner just about every day for lunch. He does everything you would expect a gentleman to do on a date (opens her car door, holds the door open for her, calls her ma'am, etc.), and they both always call each other by Mr. --- and Mrs. --- when they speak to each other ("What would you like today, Mrs. ---?"). I always thought it was cute when elderly people still held hands, but this couple melts my heart. It's something about the way after all this time they still respect each other and consider each other. I think this is the same way couples who use formal speech with each other in Japan view it as well. Instead of a separation it is actually proof that they really love each other in a timeless way.
The taking off your shoes quickly thing. I noticed too, when I was an exchange student, that everyone was leaving the house so quickly and then waiting for me to sit down and tie up my shoes, just standing there, staring at me like I was the "special" child of the host family. :P After a couple times of this, I paid more attention to what they were doing. They tie their laces loosely enough that they can slip on or off their shoes like loafers, without needing to untie or retie them. They just keep them laced up at that perfect tightness all the time. They're fine to walk around in like that, but if they were about to do something athletic, like running, they would bend down and tighten their shoes THEN, before the activity, not before leaving the house that morning. I realise women have a lot of different types of shoes, but for sneakers or your everyday walking shoes, this trick works pretty well. I went to Japan in 1998. I STILL tie my shoes this way.
This is so old, but I figured why not comment because it made me giggle a few times. I have a spinal fusion, and I can't bend down to put on/off my shoes. I unknowingly tie my shoes the same way to avoid having to bend down ahahah
That's what I do in America, but perhaps the rural areas are a bit more similar than those who aren't use to taking off/putting on shoes constantly. We always rode bikes everywhere as kids as well -- being able to ride without using your hands is just common, and you never tied your shoes on tight because you had to constantly take them off/on when going to a friends house or coming home because you had dirty shoes (playing in the woods/fields made them very dirty). I always feel weird if I tie my shoes on so tightly I can't slip them on/off quickly. I also had showers at school with the rest of the male students and after sporting events, so public nudity isn't that awkward either and I'm looking forward to trying some Onsen in a few months! (I was born in 94, so it's not like this was the 70/80's or something).
I also wanted to say that I'm similar to Garrett, in that I just naturally grew up doing that. I was always on the move as a kid and /hated/ wearing shoes, so I got really good at slipping my tennis shoes on. If ever the laces got too loose, I'd just retie them, nice and tight, then when I took the shoes off, I'd be sure to stretch certain places and to tug the shoes off. I'd do that for about 2-3 days, making sure to stretch and tug the shoes on, and then for the next 2 weeks *at least* I'd be able to quickly get my shoes on and off. Really, it just depends on how you were growing up. Also, I didn't really start riding a bike until I was like, 11, but it's not something I'd ever forget, and I'd always ride when I got the chance, so I'm decent, not Japanese level lol, but normal if you ask me. I also think, my learning later in life is what made it stick so well in my memory.
It's really interesting to hear your perspectives on keigo. As a Japanese girl who spent a few years in the UK and US, I experienced the exact opposite with English. I never really got used to the idea of using informal language with anyone who was older than me, even if I had known them for a long time. Even using words like "hi," "yeah," and "thanks" felt awkward for me in those situations... I always felt like I had to say "hello," "yes," and "thank you" instead! The most awkward thing however, was knowing that I am probably coming off as a super cold weirdo to the other person. As for using keigo with people you feel close to, it's definitely possible to do so while still sharing a feeling of closeness with them (i.e. through tone of voice, facial expressions, goofiness etc), as Akira Nakashima described so perfectly in his comment.
Hahaha - as an American in a strict family, I was raised to be polite to authority figures like teachers, and call them sir, mister, ma'am, or miss. At least 3 of my teachers in college tried to break me of the habit, and they were all art teachers! I would say, "Hi Mr. Senn," and he would say, "Call me Greg!" I think it's because in American corporate and school culture, the familiarity between people and lack of formality allows them to provide more input and be more creative when solving problems together. Any member of the team should speak if their input applies to the situation. You also have to be able to speak up to fight for a course of action, even against a manager, but not have it be seen as a sign of disrespect. The informality pages the way for that openness.... But you still have to be mindful to the people who sign your paychecks so a little formality eases the way there.
Funny, in school we always had to call our teachers mr or mrs followed by their second name. So when I started University I found it really hard to get used to the fact that we could call our lecturers by their first name. Even now it still feels awkward to me.
@@ocarinajourney5374 exactly... One professor was like my name is Mike... I'm Canadian. I went to a Canadian University... I was like, I can't call you Mike... I just cant
You're not weird at all by the way. You can never be weird by being respectful lol and since we dont really have a responsibility to use formal language with olders we feel close to family members when we call them by name (for ex: uncle john, aunt jenny... ) they won't think you're weird old people here just wanna get close to young people.
When I lived in Japan I found it really hard to get used to people not wearing seat belts. In Australia it is against the law to not wear seatbelts so when my host dad was driving down a mountain going like 70kmph and everyone was like 'nah, it's all good, you don't need to wear your seatbelt' it was super uncomfortable for me haha. I kinda never understood that
Given that in the 80's a lot of people in Aus/NZ didn't even have cars with seat belts in the back... and now we have the opposite with so much tech safety going on in cars now it's crazy. But it doesn't make good drivers.
omg I went to Afghanistan last year, and I experienced the exact same thing! We were riding up mountains incredibly fast, and I was sitting in an open trunk of a jeep LOL I find that you do get used to it though, and honestly it's hella fun haha
+Kitty Time You mentioned your host dad was driving around in the montains, so I'm assuming its in the countryside, so he was just ignoring the law on seat belts.
The Japanese culture determines the language you should speak based on whether you're above or below the party you speak to, whereas, say in North America, it's based on whether you feel distant or close. Those two measures do not cross well. I think that is one of the sources of confusion.
***** Thanks for your analysis. I think our Keigo system is a framework that is required to use when you interact with other people. And in that framework we know how to express respect, friendliness, or even hatred, regardless of what kinds of Keigo you use.
+Yoshikazu Hayashi We have the same thing in south Asia! In many Indian languages, you are supposed to use formal speech if the person is older than you. That includes your parents, teachers, and strangers as well. I have had plenty of close relations with all of the above categories of people. The concept being, that you give someone *honour* because well, you like them!
+Yoshikazu Hayashi I mean, I think it also has to do with rank as well. Like if you're close to a teacher let's say (which you can be), I don't think you would speak to them the way you speak to your friends. You would still speak respectfully to them
LOL, that reminds me of the time I went into the restrooms at an airport in the Middle East and there were squat toilets. As I walked in, there was a lady in the first cubicle who hadn't closed the door and I got a full frontal. I can't get that image out of my mind! :)
There are so many "I'm In Japan, I'm so cool and amazing" people on youtube, but you too are really down to earth. Your videos are actually pretty informative, and show not only postitive but also rather a bit negative stuff too. Really nice to see, thank you :)
I'm 100% of Japanese lived in Japan for 15years, but still can't be so sure i dont stain my pants when i have to use the Japanese style toilet. I absolutely prefer the western style. i've been living in Germany and going to an international school there since 2014. At first, when the lower graders called me by my last name only(without -san or -senpai) , i felt like something is missing, but it didnt take so long to get over it. One thing that i still struggle is when i talk with my Senpai (higher graders). I talk with them just like when i do with my friends, but im always kinda nervous if i was being rude. First time, when i called one of my senpai by his last name only, i was praying so hard in my heart to not be judged as a rude kid. Just asking a teacher "Is this correct?" requires me to get up the courage since i wasn't so sure that it was the proper way to ask people who you should use Keigo in Japan.
+chovipon814 - I think you will find that European and especially North American cultures are very flexible about their "rules." So, relax and just be yourself! (The exception might be France.)
Rochelle Frosty I did a rough translation (and some bits I added) here you go: Japanese itself is a very implicit language and I think that's part of the struggles of learning Japanese for foreigners. They need to not only learn like writing, grammar and vocabs, but also learn to guess the implied meaning behind a conversation. Whereas Japanese people naturally learn to do this growing up, so we can tell the difference between when someone is being friendly or being polite just for the sake of it. Like inspect the tone of the person's voice, choice of words, accents, subtle change in facial expressions, as well as the situation you are put in when talking to that person. So that means someone could be smiling and talking to you while secretly hating you. And it's not only you who may learn the attitude that person has towards you, but also people outside (like coworkers or classmates) observing those conversations. (People learn to do this in order to avoid trouble)
Well...that's kind of true of any language. Here in the US, there's always a tone to a conversation that people have to take into consideration before speaking. We call it 'taking the temperature of the room'.
Rachel's reason why she likes Japanese toilet is often heard from Japanese too. Most of them tell that they prefer western style at home though, they look for Japanese style outside as possible as they can. Because they don't touch anywhere of toilets used by many other people, if it's Japanese style they can use toilets feeling keep themselves clean without touching anywhere. Rachel, you're almost Japanese, aren't you?
I'm from Russia, and here we have the same type of toilets in many places. I prefer them to western style toilets in public places, cause I too, like to not touch anything.
There are households in the US where the children have to address their father as "sir", and there are Japanese families where keigo is really never used, such as mine. It really depends per family.
Yeah, in the US or Canada if your dad makes you call him Sir that means you probably don't have a good relationship with your father and it can also be a sign of abuse. Because you basically use "sir" in completely formal occasions where the "sir" is never your equal and basically has control over you, like teachers for example. It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say, but if you see a kid calling their dad "sir" in a completely serious manner it probably isn't a good sign.
anamiko I think it's pretty common in the US, it's a tradition particularly in military families. I would be careful make an assumption that the families that do this have problems.
Kenshin Ushiroda I said it could be a sign of problems. If you use such a formality that could show that you're not really close with your family and emotional problems may go unchecked. The kid would see their father as more of a "superior" than a father.
In the southern US, it is tradition to call all older men, include and especially your father, sir and you call all older women, including your mother, ma'am (mam [short a]). It is a sign of respect, especially when responding to an elder or parent, or when meeting someone for the first time before you know how they prefer to be addressed.
Wow, I can't imagine, for example, my friends of 10+ years calling me "Mister Hughes". What we actually do is more along the lines of, "WHAT'S UP, DIPSHIT?!" :P
It was really interesting to hear you guys speak about culture shock in Japan, cuz it was total opposite for me, I was born and raised in Japan and moved to Canada. Well about the lack of Keigo here, at first it felt a little weird for me to address everyone as "you" regardless of age. But I got used to it pretty quick. it's actually pretty convenient and easier. I love that now. Like I can address my boss with his first name, I think that's awesome. One more thing, I love squatting style toilet. I miss it.. It's just easier to squeeze it out, lol! Sorry about the graphic description there.. Anyhow, keep up the good work, hope you like your life in Japan, cheers!
The human body is actually designed to be squatting while defecating, so it makes sense that it would be easier to squeeze it out when using a squat toilet. There's no strain on the colon unlike with the Western style toilet.
I really love your collaboration with Rachel! I feel like they bring the best & most interesting discussions and I can't help but have to watch them (even if I have more important things to do). Please make more!
+Ariane C It would be interesting to revisit this topic with Grace ( @Texan in Tokyo ) and Ryosuke, because they love _onsen_. Interesting contrast. Ryosuke loves _natto_, but IIRC Grace has to force herself to eat it, agreeing with you there.
You may think it's the most embarrassing tutorial in the world, Rachel, but I'm sure it will be popular; lots of foreigners are scared/need information! Even Sharla does! :)
+Slimy Weasles I have to agree the thought of trying to use a squat toilet and keep your pants and such dry without taking them all the way off ... not possible. So yeah a tutorial probably would help a lot of people.
+Slimy Weasles I know right? This concept makes me so uneasy because I'll be doing a lot of travelling while I'm in Japan, including to rural areas where squat toilets are inevitable D:
+Slimy Weasles squat toilet is very common in my country, we have it all over the places :D I love using it to compare to the modern one, like Rachel said how we don't need to touch anything and it 's much faster too. It's not that hard to use it without taking our pants off all the way. I've been using it since I was little I have no idea how I learned to use it haha
It's a fact! I'm Dutch and I do not own a car or even have a drivers licence but I do own three bikes and use them for all my transport within my home town.
Just as English speakers can show their respect or disdain with the same sentence, Japanese speakers can show distance or friendliness using the same keigo. Ultimately the form you use have less significance than the heart you want to show. Zeami, Noh master in the 15th century, said, "Out of (your) heart, into a form. Out of the form, into (their) heart." That roughly means the following in my interpretation. You first have to master the form in which you want to express something. When you have mastered the form, you will no longer be aware of it and express freely what your heart wants to.
Yes. I have some friends who have been in multiple cultural environments and I find them more tolerating if not fully accepting other values than their own. Thanks for the interesting discussion!
+Yoshikazu Hayashi German language also has a certain language to keep with superiors and strangers, also a form of "polite language". I've grown up with the German culture. My family lives in Denmark, though - I went to a German school. In Denmark it is custom to speak to everyone quite casually and only in situations as meeting Her Majesty Margrethe II or other royals polite language is still used. It died off somewhere around the 60s with a revolution of teachers, I think, who wanted to teach new values to children and thus ended up in "polite language" mostly vanishing. I can fluently switch between both languages but currently living and studying in Denmark while not having a lot of opportunity to practice my German I find myself with the same feeling as these two young women when talking 'polite German' when I am back in Germany. But when I used to go to a German school I would feel conflicted talking so casually to superiors and teachers. Communication is such an interesting thing to observe, but your interpretation of the saying quite beautifully puts it into words.
10:35 Some behaviours may seem to be the exact opposite of what we grew up with in the Americas. I've heard about this Brazilian family who went to Japan to work; their child went to school (in Japan) and one of the teachers complained to his parents that, whenever he had to reprimand the boy, the kid would look him in the eyes. Apparently, in Japan you're not supposed to do that -I believe it's regarded as a sign of defiance-, which is something you're actually expected to do in Brazil - looking away is disrespectful, often regarded as a sign of disinterest, as if making clear you couldn't care less. 6:35 Sharla: «I don't think I'd wanna go to an onsen with [and be naked in front of] Rachel.» Rachel is disappoint :-o
Woah!!! That's really interesting! Stark differences! Probably the teachers should have done some research, it's their duty to know about their students.
+WalterWorld·Vlog I think most Western countries prefer eye contact and in Asian countries it's seen as being disrespectful towards an elder. My South Korean friend said she was shocked when New Zealand people looked her in the eyes and she freaked out about it - it's seen as extremely rude in SK!
As to speaking polite to your family... I think that it is not that it shows a lack of closeness to someone, but that to speak politely to your mother and father in law shows that you honor and value them. To speak casually to them shows that you actually value them less. It is similar as to how you would pick up a valued item and handle it carefully so that you would never possibly damage the item... you would never wish to damage the person by not handling them carefully. It is showing them love and respect. That is how I see it at least... :)
Maybe. But for westerners, closeness means informalness. It means you don't need to worry about upsetting your family- who is supposed to be on your side- over an ill chosen word. In a sense, it's being a good host because you're not forcing guests to put forward more effort. While it's polite here to *start* with honorifics such as "sir" or "ma'am" if the person doesn't invite you to call them by a closer name, it's the equivalent of going over to someone's house and not being invited to grab a seat. It's awkward, and an insult.
Sometimes we connect formal speech as something forced.... that's why we feel distant while using it with someone we're close to... think about it like this...when you ask your younger sibling to eat dinner you just want them to come and eat dinner....but when you ask your mom/dad to come have dinner....you put feeling into it....you ask them politely/respectfully because you are forever grateful for their concerns towards you and their hardwork....in both cases you are dealing with family, but the feeling is different... you're close to your siblings and your parents too...but the closeness is not similar....I don't know if it makes sense 😂😂 I tried to explain the feeling
I feel smothered by this culture of keigo that makes me recognize someone as not an individual but a title or position. I don't like it since it is not rational and reminds me of a "wall" or distance, as you mentioned in this video. When I visited the U.S. several years ago on business, I went to a restaurant for dinner with American staffs and customers. One of the staffs started talking with a customer friendly by saying "What do you want to have for dinner?" or something like that. I thought "Oh, English has only one word *you* to talk to someone, it's okay to used a direct expression to a customer, and they never pay attention to ages!" I was surprised by the simpleness of English and the American culture. In Japan, we would have to use several terms which mean *you* in English. Like FamilyName-sama, anata, kimi, omae, and so on. And we would say not "何を食べる?" but "何を召し上がりますか?" when we asked it to a customer. Even though the action (eating) is the same, we always have to think of how old, and how high/low he/she is.
Kinda sounds like a pain and kinda cold, but if you grow up with it its' normal i guess.... For comparison. In Norway it is rude to talk to someone as if they are higher or lower rank than you, especially if they are close. Norway got social norms that basically forbids you to think you are better or worse then someone (it's more complicated but yeah....this is both good and bad). Funny thing is, in Norway. The closer you are to someone the more rude you are, but mostly in a joke-full way. Especially if the person has served his/hers military service. You would not believe how dark and disturbing jokes we fling at each-other most of the time. I love it, sometimes we laugh so hard we cramp up. (mandatory military service is HIGHLY common in Norway for any boy/man born before 92, after that is' much less common for various reasons) The challenge is getting close to Norwegians as we got HUGE personal bubbles as a social show of respect for each-other. So we can seem a bit cold. *wisper wisper* The trick is to trap us in some social framework where we cannot escape like a sport or going to volunteer events. Or give us booze..... but be warned if given booze Norwegians can loosen up a bit to much, but don't worry.
In the UK, especially in Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the north of England, swearing at someone is seen as a sign of affection. Obviously swearing at someone is also an aggressive act, so you need to know the person well and be able gauge how far you can take things, which for an outsider can be a bit of a minefield. I think a lot of people are shocked when they come to the UK and they don’t find us incredibly reserved all the time. We”re only reserved when we meet someone for the first time, once we know you well don’t be surprised to be called “a complete f*cking c*nt” by your closest friends. I know this applies to the Antipodes as well.
@@uremawifenowdave it's the same way in certain parts of the USA, especially amongst men. If you go to a bar, you will find most of the men who are good friends, talking to each other this way. Must be very confusing and strange for certain foreigners not used to this, to hear it.
I feel uncomfortable while talking to someone in English...mostly I'm terrified of the word 'you'....like you said, English has just 'you' as a word to refer to someone despite their age....but it seems so weird to me to say 'you' to my a*should younger siblings and my DAD!!! Idk it just feels weird 😂😂 so I'm glad my language has differences According to age and position....
I’m Japanese and I’ve been to Canada. I had many friends senior than me and I talked with them in casual way, cuz we were talking in English and it sounds natural. And I love that way of talking. But if we had met in Japan and spoken in Japanese, I would’ve been uncomfortable...because in Japanese, we often use Keigo to show respect to others as one person -not distance. We find casualties in our tones and facial expressions. I feel comfort in that way if I speak in Japanese. Anyways, I love both styles!:)
Swedes also learn to bike early, I think I was like 4 years old when I learned to ride a bicycle, before that I had a tricycle. I know many people that bike with their hands not being on the handles and who can turn without touching the handles. It's pretty common here. Especially in some cities it's really common to bike, for example in Uppsala people look at you like you're crazy if you choose to take the bus or walk instead of biking xD In the capital, Stockholm, it's not that common though, there people walk or take the underground.
The dutch have dedicated sidewalks for bikes along almost all the roadways, so yes. But I would still consider car to be main vehicle but people bike more often than driving when its possible.
I am english and grew up knowing how to ride a bike. To be honest its how your family is I think, and what habits/skills you learn growing up from them.
The texture of those foods look like snot. In that way I would say perhaps you are used to it... but it might create all kinds of unpleasant conjurings in the mind.
+Sharla in Japan Hi Sharla! If is not too much trouble, could you ask to Hector wich program used to edit the subtitles? I'm macking the spanish version for the videos of Mimei and it would be good to know. Sorry for my english, i'm better at the translation haha Love your videos!
I don't think I would be very comfortable in a onsen or stay long,I can't stand long because of the temperature. I couldn't even stand in a jacuzzi xD I know how to ride bicycle but is been 10yrs since I rode onexD
I'm an English language instructor in Turkey and I happenned to find this video when I try to find a video about today's topic, culture shock. But now I am amazed how Japan things are similar to Turkish ones. We have the same kind of toilets, we dont wear shoes indoors (i mean at home but not in offices), we have okra meal, nearly every Turk can ride bike anytime and without holding the handles, we have hamams where everybody baths at the same time, even it is weird to be naked in front of others, especially old people love bathing in hamams, and yes you should speak in a formal language if the other person has a higher position than you, like your boss, teacher, older ones in your or your spouse's family. The culture is soooo similar. Although I knew that Japans and Turks love eachother and have similar values, I didn't know thast we are similar in so many ways. It so interesting and so nice :)
I think that Korean and Japanese language learners should be taught that a certain way of speaking is "rank-signaling language" not formal/informal. Trying to compare casual English to "informal" Korean or Japanese is just wrong IMHO. Asian culture is based on community and hierarchy within the group. People need to always signal where they stand in the pecking order. That makes people feel comfortable. If you are out of bounds with your rank-signaling, it just makes people feel uncomfortable. In the USA, we use informal language to signal warmth and affection. We hardly ever "signal rank" by how we talk, using exaggerated formality and attention to good grammar. Asian people don't experience language the same way. It's nothing to do with warmth and affection; it's about achieving harmony within the group because everyone knows where they stand and they respect the boundaries.
Nuksa naw, it's the same. It's self debasing and stupid. Who gives a shit if someone's higher rank unless they're abusing that authority over you, and then it brings it back to my original point.
You almost made it sound like okra was some kind of vegetable that you don't/rarely find in America. I live in Louisiana and okra isn't uncommon down here. It's freaking delicious and is used in a lot of Cajun dishes. It just sounded funny to me hearing you two describe it, haha. And yeah, it is really slimy if all you do is boil it, but it still taste good to me.
Being from the southern US, I found it pretty weird that neither of you had heard about okra before going to japan. It's extremely common here, especially fried okra, or in a gumbo.
Sometimes I wonder what people are looking at when they walk around. Apparently not okra. Okra is stocked in every national chain grocery store in the US. Fresh veggies. Sometimes canned, I guess but I try to avoid canned veggies. Also frozen, often as fried okra.
I speak Spanish and when you guys were talking about the formal way of speaking it reminded me a lot of the Spanish you formal or Usted. You would use this for many of the same reasons (older people, higher rank, older family members, parents, or strangers, ect.) and when Rachael was talking about never being able to use informal language around her in-laws I can see where she is coming from but to me if I got married then it would seem to me more of a way to show that you respect the person and not necessarily that you don't have a close relationship with them. I can see how it can seem difficult to wrap your head around the fact that the you would use the same way of speaking to an in-law or family member you feel close to as well as a stranger, but that also means that you have the same level as respect, or using it towards coworkers as a way of showing you respect their rank above your own. I don't really use it toward my parents (although I should), but I do tend to use it toward my grandparents because it is very much just culture and the way someone is raised thinking as well as formality and etiquette. But that is just my opinion formal language.
Definitely. It also varies between Spanish-speaking countries. Argentines use usted a lot less, while in Colombia (I've heard) they use it with their romantic partners and even their pets.
+burt591 Most people in America ride bikes as kids, but once you start driving there's no need for a bike, so it's easy to be out of practice. Adults don't really ride bikes in America unless they're training for a triathlon or mountain biking or something, nobody really uses bikes as transportation.
Yeah, in Canada most of the year it's going to be too cold to ride a bike, so it's probably not convenient for transportation, though I'm sure lots of people still use them for recreation.
I think it is just because everything is so spread out. Most of the time, the only bike riders I see are kids going to and from school, or people who are doing it for recreation. I never seen anyone use bikes as transportation to get to and from work. I use to ride my bike all the time when I was younger, but now I haven't been on a bike in years now.
Lol yes we do. Most everyone learns as a child, some people may not do it as they get older, but you never really forget how to ride one. It just may take a bit to get reaccustomed. I ride like 8 hrs a week, so not really an issue here, but I'm also a triathlete.
+Irish girl In Spain Yeah, when I moved to Texas I had to get used to people calling me ma'am and calling other people ma'am and sir. It's a sign of respect, and in schools it's required. Where I'm from, people get offended if you DO call them ma'am or sir, because it's like you're mocking them or calling them a hardass.
+Irish girl In Spain Me too!!! I hate especially when other adults (or even kids over the age of like 8) call me ma'am or address me as Miss. I am from the Southeastern US, so using yes ma'am and no ma'am is pretty common here, but it just makes me feel old! And even though I am 31, I definitely don't feel my age! Haha! :-)
There is something like that in Japan. Sometimes women are addressed as "oneisan", that's like "older sister" but being called "obasan" is like "aunty." It's not necessarily impolite, but for most women it's a hard transition.
I was living with a foreign exchange student from Japan a while back and once she felt more comfortable she actually asked me about the formal speaking thing. She was older than me and didn't want to insult me but was confused about how casual I was with her. It was really interesting to see her perspective in that respect. We both learned a lot from each other.
+Leftover Crack I am a fan of fried okra. I tried to describe it to the teachers at the elementary school where I teach English, and they were utterly baffled.
In French, there are two levels of politeness "tu" and "vous" and it works a bit like keigo, but way less difficult. When I went to Japan, my English friends had so much trouble with the idea of keigo, but did not (I mean, I sucked at it because it was hard). For example, my mother still uses the polite form of French when she speaks to her mother-in-law even though she married my father 25 years ago. I could not imagine using the informal version of French with older people or with my boss until they tell me they prefer it (and then it takes a while to get used to it). Btw, where are you from in Canada? I'm from Montreal. :)
Je suis française et j'ai l'impression qu'on utilise le vouvoiement plus que vous au Canada. On m'a dit qu'au Québec on vouvoyait juste les vielles personnes et son patron. Mais j'y suis jamais allée donc je ne sais pas si c'est vrai. Honnêtement je me sens plus à l'aise avec le vouvoiement que le tutoiement, le père de ma cousine m'a dit de le tutoyer mais ça me mets toujours mal à l'aise. Ça peut m'énerver aussi des fois que les gens ne me vouvoient pas même si je ne m'attends pas vraiment à ce qui le fassent. Par contre je préfère tutoyer les gens sur Internet. C'est bizarre.
It's not normal that people who are married use keigo each other lol I guess It's a one type of japanese culture but it is getting uncommon among young people. It's normal for people who think japanese old customs are important though I think. Most japanese don't use keigo to their parents and when I see japanese like this ,even me ,I think " wow they are extremely well-bred or raised by severe parents. lol But It's true we have many complicated rules of keigo.
That's so interesting about keigo and married couples. Reminds me of my high school French teacher being surprised that we were surprised that married couples would use the formal you form with each other.
When I lived in Finland, the biggest challange was the language and in fact I totally failed learning Finnish, even though I'm such a language nerd.🙈😔 Luckily, (almost all) Finns are SO GOOD at speaking English, pretty much accent-free -- it's so impressive!! Also, it was harder than I'm used to to become friends with Finns since they're a little more reserved than f.e. people from central and southern Europe.
I joined the Navy a couple of months ago and was afforded the opportunity to go to Japan. I decided to do some research on Japan and I came across your channel and I want to say that your stories have excited me even more! Thanks for sharing!
That bit in the video really perplexed me. Here in the UK riding a bike is like a right of passage. Parents teach their kids how to ride around the age of four or five. The big problem is that in the UK our bike lanes are either badly designed or completely unavailable and the roads are terrible, so cycling really only continues after 16 as a sport or hobby.
@@uremawifenowdave In the midwesterner US, it's very much the same. I remember when I was around eight years old, a kid in my class just started riding a bike and my friends and I were really taken aback.
I can't ride a bike. I've never been able to ride a bike. Sure, it's seen as a little odd where I come from (southern United States) but not so odd that it's shocking.
Yeah. I'm german and I learned it as a child. We were making daytrips with the whole family riding bikes. I then stopped for a few years and now I'm driving to work with my bicycle every morning in around 20 minutes and later back. A college of mine is driving like 40minutes to work with his bike. But I still need one hand.
I'm from germany and visited different parts of the usa a few times. What I never get used to is the overly friendly behaviour of the staff in supermarkets, shopping centers or even coffee shops. In germany they are friendly, too. But not to that extent. Therefore it seems to me always fake and has a bitter aftertaste, you could say. I simply can't believe them and don't like it pretty much. That's one thing I'm not getting used to. ;)
Lol someone says something nice about the US but they decide not to like it. Well in all honesty it's good that service people were friendly to you because it's their job- friendliness usually makes you trust that person more and makes you want to come back to the store. I am from the U.S. And I personally don't think salespeople are always up to par but there are a number of good ones. What I consider a friendly salesperson to be is someone who greets me when I walk in, asks me if I need any help and informs me of store specials, is knowledgable about the products they sell and is very attentive. I'm sure sometimes maybe the friendliness is fake especially when that person is working for a commission but most times that's just how they act on a normal basis at their job. The only thing I would advise against is asking advice on clothes you want to buy from a salesperson. Some people will tell you anything looks good even though it doesn't.
+gold aria well with our "servicewüste" (service desert ") in Germany, some Germans may feel bit confused when a service person, that just met you the first time, talks with you like you're close friends. It is not considered inpolite in Germany, but we're not used to it and it may feel over-the-top to some Germans. But this seems to generally be a problem in communication with some Americans...all I met were very friendly and started acting as if they were pretty close to you pretty fast, even if you are just colleagues at work and not friends at all. I think the line between work and freetime is more blurred and it sometimes can sometimes feel "fake" to us, that come from a culture that makes, as I feel it, stronger differences between friends and clients colleagues or business partners. It feels like someone faking friendship...feels like they're lying to you...
敬語は日本人の私にとっても葛藤があります。親しくしたいけれど、丁寧さを失うわけにはいかない。けれど、敬語を使うと距離を感じてしまう、というような。 老夫婦が敬語を使って仲良くしているのが”いいなぁ”となるのは、その夫婦が敬語を使うことにうまく適応して、敬語を使うことと愛情を示すことを両立できている、一種のコミュニケーションの達人となっているからだと思います。日本人的なsubtleな表現で表現をして、そのシグナルを読み取るという、二人だけのprotocolが出来上がっているのだと思います。そういうprotocolが出来るまでには、長い経験と二人の歴史が必要なので、それも併せてその老夫婦の魅力を増します。 こういうコミュニケーションの達人になりたいけれど、なれなくて苦労している日本人は多いと思います。 I, a Japanese guy, have a mixed feeling with Keigo. I guess I'm a rather friendly guy compared to average Japanese people and often feel embarassed with Keigo, like I wanna make friends with a person, though I don't wanna be rude by not using Keigo. I think the old wife and husband using Keigo look adorable because they are now veterans of Keigo. They can communicate their love and feeling to each other and use Keigo simultaneously. Veterans of Keigo can do it by using subtle difference in phrases or gestures and reading the meaning of them. However, this is very difficult even to most Japanese people. The use and reading of subtle expression need much experience, often valid only among specific persons (like slang). This needs much time and effort to get the skill (or the "protocol" of communication among them). This is the source of the adorable value, I think. In other words, one can feel the history of the couple through the natural usage of Keigo, or one can recognize they love each other so much that they can afford the room of Keigo. If they were not intimate with each other, they can't use Keigo in peaceful atmosphere.
Haha, I am Japanese and grew up in a Japanese household but I am born in New York and I swear up and down, the struggles in this video are real. I am not used to Japanese toilets, onsen, or keigo. I am super good about neba neba food though (natto is maybe my favorite thing to eat). I worked a year ago at a Japanese udon restaurant and my Japanese coworkers just loved that I was understanding their language but their culture and word plays were still kind of foreign to me. And every time I would try to kind of prove that I knew stuff, it would be like "oh, that slang isn't even popular in Japan anymore." XP
Not to mention keigo is not just about language or the way you say things but the whole attitude attached to it is foreign to me. People get incredibly insulted sometimes when I speak improperly because I am obviously looking and speaking like a native.
I can imagine how Westerners can find "Kego" weird, beause they're not raised in a culture that follows that system. Well, as an Asian (Filipino), who was born and raised in Asia, in a culture that's similar to Japanese who uses the "kego" system as well, I actually find it rather weird to be so casual with ppl that are older than me or of higher position than me. When I first moved to Canada, it was very awkward calling my teachers their name, or my friends parents their name, and my boss their name, more so, to talk to them casually. For me, i felt like I was disrespecting them or degrading them so much when really, I know they don't really feel that way. I find it absolutely awkward! And it's so funny how they think i'm so cute for using proper words and use a formal or lower tone when talkig to them. They literally thought I was very respectful and proper, when really in my head, it's the least thing I can do to ease my feeling of awkwardness talking to them that way. Hahaha!
And because of that, I can never be close to someone older and be completely comfortable with them after 6 yrs of living here. Because in my head, i secretly remind myself of their age and status and that I should somehow still be respectful towards them. So in short, I can never put my guard down when speaking or hanging out with them. Haha! Weird..
+Julie Hermoso I was also born and raised in the Philippines until we moved to Canada when I was 8 so I totally understand and agree with you, especially with calling older people by their first name, cos usually for us Filipinos, regardless of your relationship, you call them either tito/tita or ate/kuya to be respectful. I remember when I first met my neighbours, it was really difficult for me to say or call out their names- I had to fight back from saying tito/tita. Also with my friend's parents, it was extremely awkward to call them by their first name, so I just avoid mentioning their name
I'm Filipino too!! Foreign ppl call us overly respectful but in here if you don't say "po" enough you'd be called rude and disrespectful XD whereas in Norway it is completely normal to call everyone by first name. Teachers, bosses, professors etc. don't even get called "ms." Or "sir", just literally their first name.
+seraphiccandy21 You aren't kidding. I went to Amsterdam and I still couldn't figure out the bike rules of the road after a week there. It seemed to me like some sort of bike anarchy.
Elizabeth Diener Yes ^^ I live in Groningen, a dutch city that is known as the "cycling city" , it litrally takes 5 minutes to get to the city center on bike and 20 with the car because so many paths are bike only. It does take a while to get used to it but when you do you find that it is so much more efficient then cars. Thats actually why they changed it in Amsterdam...because the cars were causing congestion, pollution, noise and were dangerous...
+Elizabeth Diener You will not learn the rules of the road by observing cyclists in Amsterdam, because they have a tendency to flaunt those rules. When in Amsterdam, it's important to know that trams basically ALWAYS have the right of way, and that, as a motorist, you're in trouble if you hit a cyclist, whether it was your fault or not. Please note that the reddish pavements are, in fact, bicycle paths. I lived in Amsterdam for three years and have had some near misses with tourists who happily stepped onto the bicycle path without looking, as was doing 30 km/h (20 mph).
There are squat toilets in China and most times they're clean and I prefer them but on road trips I've seen squat toilets where people don't aim well and there's poop and pee all over the floor...
Totally agree with Sharla about squat toilets! If you have bad knees like me, they suck. Plus, using them when it's your time of the month is a nightmare, to say the least... I can use them if I have to, but I hate them. Plus, you're down so low that you can smell the pee as you're going... It's disgusting. And there is ALWAYS pee all over the floor, and it usually gets on your shoes or pants. Keigo is a pain the ass when you're a non-native Japanese customer. When I go to get a new phone contract or something, the salesperson always wants to speak keigo to me. Even if I tell them, "Sorry, it's difficult for me to understand keigo, you can speak casually to me," it's so ingrained in them that they'll keep doing it. Or, if their manager is watching, they won't speak casually, ha ha. A lot of my non-Japanese friends who speak excellent Japanese have told me that keigo is so difficult, they'll never try to get a "real" (non-English teaching) job at a Japanese company.
+snowfish1121 I avoid them as much as possible in Tokyo. There's something to be said for a peaceful, long shit. You just don't get that on a squat toilet....
+snowfish1121 It'd be really confusing...especially if they had an official or superior in the vicinity. To them it's basically like, speak rude to me. Even if they have experience with foreigners and the struggle for them to understand keigo, It'd be uncomfortable, especially when if they're native, it is a societal rule, they'd have to go against what they believe.
I never knew that Keigo went so far. I only know the basics of using it for people above you, but using it in close relationships family and friends is something I never even thought about. It's so funny how its easier to accept some culture shocks than others and how our brains process it
I'm from England, I went to Florida in September last year and like the first shock I got was the toilet stalls ;-; I couldn't get used to them because the gaps in the door was so big to me, that whenever I walked past I could actually see people inside the stall :|. Also most of the workers were very friendly both in the resort I was in and the mall I went too, which is weird since a lot of people in malls/other places in England seem to like acting like moody bitches/very un-talkative. I also learned that American bacon tastes good C:...But I still prefer the bacon in England.
+.:WelcomeToWonderland:. Yeah big gaps in the stall doors is pretty common, when you're somewhere with proper stalls that close all the way it's kind of a luxury. Sadly you just have to suck it up and sit carefully. The worst is when a door is broken and you have to hold it closed with your foot or make your friend hold it haha.
+.:WelcomeToWonderland:. Sometimes girls would misbehave at the school I went to and get whole stall doors taken away because it'd get broken (I have no clue what they did or why, but it happened). You want to talk about being desperate for a pee, try being so desperate to try having to find a friend (preferably 2) to stand in front of the doorway because the doorless stall is the only option. Then those gappy stall doors start to look a Lot nicer! ;) It's also nice when it's cooler out and there's a hanger on the stall door, because if you're lucky, you can get the coat to obscure the 'view'.
In Korean language, we have pretty similar situation where sometimes married couples will continue to use formal language to each other. I have heard some people explain it as wanting to maintain respect for the other person. Wanting to position their partner in a higher position then themselves. I really think it is based on perspective as well as intention. Being American born Korean, I am definitely the type to want to become more casual with my sig. other. For me, it is important to be able to talk freely with those who are very close to me. 😊
by the way I came across Sharla in Shinjuku about 3 months ago while I was running fast to make it in time to meet my friends. Then you were speaking casual Japanese like a native in front of people that were probably your friends. I realised that your voice gets high pitched when speaking Japanese. I subscribed to both channels. hope you make more fun videos about the difference between Japan and Canada. haha
Aww you should of said hi!! And yeah my voice totally gets higher when I speak Japanese. I guess since I've only ever heard Japanese girls speaking with higher voices I just try to make it sound as much like them as possible xD Hopefully it doesn't sound too fake and weird >_>;;
+Sharla in Japan I will say hi the next time haha You were speaking Japanese no problems with Japanese accent. You didn't sound weird at all lol To me, you sounded like a girl your age haha
+Sharla in Japan My husband pitches his voice differently in Japanese too! He says it was easier to learn more natural sounding pronunciation that way.
Riding a bike here in Belgium is also so normal! At the age of 4 parents start to train their kids to ride a bike :) I really want to go Japan but the poor studentlife is holding me back!
+JemlovesKpop I'm Belgian too and you're probably from the Flemish side ? Because here in Wallonia we don't ride bikes at all and Flanders is known to be a bike friendly place :D
One tip: Instead of 'I want learn english' it's actually 'I want to learn English'. to is used to show direction towards something whether it be going somewhere or aiming for something. to is similar to the へ particle.
Or another explanation, you'd say "I wan't to learn English" using 'to learn' instead of just 'learn' because the second verb is always conjugated if you're speaking in the present tense. Sorry, I love learning and teaching foreign languages, I didn't want to step over you or anything, I just wanted to share. :)
Katie Collins Just making a quick correction, but an apostrophe is used to show possession of or a contraction. Example: Will not = won't. Do not = don't. It's = it is. However, "its" means the object belong to it. The confusing part about that is the 's is usually used to say something belongs to someone/something. Example: "The cat's mouse toy," will mean that the mouse toy belongs to the cat. I speak the language natively and I don't even understand why our language needs to be so complicated with its rules of grammar. Heck, I even mess it up sometimes.
i recently saw a video or post about things that are different in Japan and it says that they have "bike parking lots" and i was like "yeah... where else would you put your bike?! There are always loads of bikes in front of public spaces". But it seems that either Germany (where I live as well) is the country of bicycles or this video has a lot of German viewers. Since half the comments on this posts are about Germany. Interesting.
+peepslostsheep perhaps its just that your family doesnt eat it. Ive lived in MA for 20 years and have seen it here all that time. I like it southern style (high calorie) so dont make it that often.
I live in Tennessee and we have similar rules, but we also have a way to mesh them together for those you are close to, but also want to be polite. Generally it's Mr./Ms. last name for proper, and when you get more friendly its Mr./Ms. First name.
As someone whose first language was Japanese, Keigo kind of rubs me the wrong way. It feels as if there's an unbridgeable gap that's created. That doesn't mean that I haven't mastered the use thereof, but I avoid it whenever possible. Also, calling people by their family name in all but the closest relations is irksome. I've compromised a bit on this by calling people by their name, but keeping suffixes like -san and -sensei after their name. It's worked out pretty well. Another thing that I can never get used to is the "critiquing someone is the same as looking down upon then" mentality that seems to be pervasive in Japan. Even in western cultures, many people can't distinguish between a critique of an idea and an attack on their person, but it's just so much worse in the Japanese workplace. People can't seem to get over the fact that good ideas can come from anyone, even when they're below your station or younger than you. However, in more personal relations, it's not nearly as bad. Then there's "respect your elders". I suppose this isn't completely a Japanese thing, but it's much more an unquestioningly accepted part of society in Japan than it is in the United States. I give respect where respect is due. Many times, I respect my young elementary and junior-high students for doing things that full grown adults can't seem to manage. Of course, there's times when I meet elderly people that are worth every bit of respect I could pay them. Men like Haruka Nishimatsu, the CEO of Japan Airlines, are the elders I respect. Oh, and natto. Daizu? Yes. Tofu? Yes. Miso? Yes. But natto?...uh, I'll just do without, thanks...
With bikes in the UK every child learns to ride bikes without holding on to the handlebars. Sort of one of those unofficial compulsory things that everyone learns as a kid.
+Rachel & Jun I know! It's one of my favorite words because it's so powerful in its description. I'm the same way with those kinds of foods too! That's why I like my okra fried.
Thanks to this word and wikipedia, I can finally explain why I can't handle ネバネバ: "Mucilage mixed with water is used as a glue, especially for bonding paper items such as labels, postage stamps, and envelope flaps." I couldn't put my finger on it before, but okra and natto taste exactly like postage stamps/envelope glue to me.
Hey, I loved squat toilets, for the same reasons, when I lived in Tokyo for 2 years! My workplace had two stalls, one western and one a "squat" toilet, and I always chose the latter. It's a much healthier position for a woman's body. I still miss them, years after returning to the states. I also loved the onsen. And it helps women to have a healthier sef-image, when you become used to seeing all the different sizes and shapes ordinary women come in.
+trey king Well the photo that was showed it was slimy and fresh looking, but I'm pretty sure here in the south we just fry it. I don't like it anyways, but that surprised me too.
using your last name imstead of your first name. It's like in Japan you don't even have a first name so people just call you by your last name. I know some will let you call them by their first names but only if they are very close to you. I find this odd cuz in Erics you are addressed by your first name then u get a called a nickname if you are close to that person. it's very backwards which is y Japan is awesome lol
I see it as last name is your family name, which has respect and honor in it and it's respectful to call one their last name until you're given permission to call them their first name, which is their given name, which is informal because they have to put the respect into that name
Schools, sports, a lot of more 'organized' groups of people will use last names like that too. Find any football coach and he'll probably be yelling out last names at people instead of first.
At least in the USA. It's less about the words you say(unless you are swearing), it's more about how you say it with inflection. When you want to seem humble/grateful...you speak softer. If you want to appear rude, you are short with your words, or sound "sassy".
GIRL I worked in America with a bunch of Japanese people and I had an older co-worker that would joke around a lot and make snarky jokes, so I felt as if we had become close! So one day I called her "Kazue-chan" jokingly instead of san like I usually did and she was like "nani ga kazue-chan!?? Kazue-san da yo!" and I think she was joking, but UGHHH I hate being formal after getting to know people! It feels so fake.
Interesting that Rachel finds keigo so difficult since she served in the Air Force. Maybe the Air Force is more relaxed then the other branches. This really helped to understand why people think I’m cold and distant. Never occurred to me to use informal speech when at work, especially with a superior. I just can’t do it, even the thought of it is difficult. I loved the story about the older couples using keigo, that is so sweet and romantic.
`I grew up in Japan until 20 and I moved to LA, California. When I was 16, I thought about what you guys saying about "keigo". I actually hated it. I felt I create distance by using "keigo" So, I usually mix with casual expressions and "keigo. You have to have good senses how you mix them, but that is basically how Japanese speak I think. I still live in the US, it has been 23 years now. I still think that you can mix casual and keigo in a good way when you talk to elders and superiors. As long as you do good, it is very acceptable I think.
敬語 is still one of the things im most conflicted about while being here on exchange. I go to an all girls high school and i speak totally informal with everyone there and i guess they dont mind but i also have some senpais im friends with and i always slip into the informal style even though i want to be really formal to them. Its just that at my school relationships between senpais and kohais are more polite and distanced then with teachers. But i met two senpais who went on exchange in western countries for one year before and just came back and they are so friendly to me. One even hugs me all the time (ive never received a hug in japan before so i was really shocked the first time) and i really cant get used to it omg. Its just so difficult if youre from a western culture.
born and raised in Japan, have been living in Canada for 10yrs, I kinda do feel the opposite of how you feel there. When young kid 18、19 talk to me like, hey buddy, casual like that, makes me feel like I ain't your buddy kid. I felt that some of these people have no respect or manner. But I know this comes from different culture.
I have been binge watching your videos and Rachel's videos and I laughed so hard when she talks about make a tutorial video for japanese toilets because she and Jun just did it xD Life is a funny thing hahaha
when I moved to Finland, it took a long time to get used to call my professors by their first name. I could never imagine in Germany to call my teacher by their first name, or not use any title they have. In the hospital I work / practice at, we even call all the doctors by their first name. It's just so normal in Finland, but I still am weirded out by this D:
+miikaelas exactly! When they talk about how this formal language is strange ( ok well Japan is a bit stronger in terms of politness/formal language ) i actually am weirded out by the "you" in english. xD Just to give a strong example. I love the "Sie" in the german language xD
I'm from Japan and I've been living in Australia for about 3 years. I really like here because ppl talk to me casually and friendly. I feel closer to them :) Though I was surprised when I was hugged by a customer where I used to work in a Japanese restaurant, friendly culture is nice. Though I've never used formal language "keigo" orally to my family members, sometimes when I write to them, I use Keigo.
what's funny is that I'm still not used to how formal we are in the US sometimes!! I'm Dominican and we always call EVERYONE by their first name. Teachers, friends' parents, the President, whatever. So when I came to the US I struggled. I got used to calling my teachers by their last name kinda, but with my friends' parents I always struggled and basically would just avoid calling them anything. I think I would not be able to handle it in Japan. Like at all. lol
I can actually see how couples using polite speech could be sweet. We have an elderly couple in our town that goes to the local diner just about every day for lunch. He does everything you would expect a gentleman to do on a date (opens her car door, holds the door open for her, calls her ma'am, etc.), and they both always call each other by Mr. --- and Mrs. --- when they speak to each other ("What would you like today, Mrs. ---?"). I always thought it was cute when elderly people still held hands, but this couple melts my heart. It's something about the way after all this time they still respect each other and consider each other. I think this is the same way couples who use formal speech with each other in Japan view it as well. Instead of a separation it is actually proof that they really love each other in a timeless way.
until you find out its their fetish to go bum chicuaua XD
The taking off your shoes quickly thing. I noticed too, when I was an exchange student, that everyone was leaving the house so quickly and then waiting for me to sit down and tie up my shoes, just standing there, staring at me like I was the "special" child of the host family. :P
After a couple times of this, I paid more attention to what they were doing. They tie their laces loosely enough that they can slip on or off their shoes like loafers, without needing to untie or retie them. They just keep them laced up at that perfect tightness all the time. They're fine to walk around in like that, but if they were about to do something athletic, like running, they would bend down and tighten their shoes THEN, before the activity, not before leaving the house that morning.
I realise women have a lot of different types of shoes, but for sneakers or your everyday walking shoes, this trick works pretty well. I went to Japan in 1998. I STILL tie my shoes this way.
I'll try this but I have to say this: Man you're old. I was born in 1998. That's almost 20 years. Lol.
This is so old, but I figured why not comment because it made me giggle a few times. I have a spinal fusion, and I can't bend down to put on/off my shoes. I unknowingly tie my shoes the same way to avoid having to bend down ahahah
That's what I do in America, but perhaps the rural areas are a bit more similar than those who aren't use to taking off/putting on shoes constantly. We always rode bikes everywhere as kids as well -- being able to ride without using your hands is just common, and you never tied your shoes on tight because you had to constantly take them off/on when going to a friends house or coming home because you had dirty shoes (playing in the woods/fields made them very dirty).
I always feel weird if I tie my shoes on so tightly I can't slip them on/off quickly.
I also had showers at school with the rest of the male students and after sporting events, so public nudity isn't that awkward either and I'm looking forward to trying some Onsen in a few months!
(I was born in 94, so it's not like this was the 70/80's or something).
I also wanted to say that I'm similar to Garrett, in that I just naturally grew up doing that. I was always on the move as a kid and /hated/ wearing shoes, so I got really good at slipping my tennis shoes on. If ever the laces got too loose, I'd just retie them, nice and tight, then when I took the shoes off, I'd be sure to stretch certain places and to tug the shoes off. I'd do that for about 2-3 days, making sure to stretch and tug the shoes on, and then for the next 2 weeks *at least* I'd be able to quickly get my shoes on and off. Really, it just depends on how you were growing up.
Also, I didn't really start riding a bike until I was like, 11, but it's not something I'd ever forget, and I'd always ride when I got the chance, so I'm decent, not Japanese level lol, but normal if you ask me. I also think, my learning later in life is what made it stick so well in my memory.
That is how I've always done my sneakers/tennis shoes.
It's really interesting to hear your perspectives on keigo. As a Japanese girl who spent a few years in the UK and US, I experienced the exact opposite with English. I never really got used to the idea of using informal language with anyone who was older than me, even if I had known them for a long time. Even using words like "hi," "yeah," and "thanks" felt awkward for me in those situations... I always felt like I had to say "hello," "yes," and "thank you" instead! The most awkward thing however, was knowing that I am probably coming off as a super cold weirdo to the other person. As for using keigo with people you feel close to, it's definitely possible to do so while still sharing a feeling of closeness with them (i.e. through tone of voice, facial expressions, goofiness etc), as Akira Nakashima described so perfectly in his comment.
Hahaha - as an American in a strict family, I was raised to be polite to authority figures like teachers, and call them sir, mister, ma'am, or miss. At least 3 of my teachers in college tried to break me of the habit, and they were all art teachers! I would say, "Hi Mr. Senn," and he would say, "Call me Greg!" I think it's because in American corporate and school culture, the familiarity between people and lack of formality allows them to provide more input and be more creative when solving problems together. Any member of the team should speak if their input applies to the situation. You also have to be able to speak up to fight for a course of action, even against a manager, but not have it be seen as a sign of disrespect. The informality pages the way for that openness.... But you still have to be mindful to the people who sign your paychecks so a little formality eases the way there.
Funny, in school we always had to call our teachers mr or mrs followed by their second name. So when I started University I found it really hard to get used to the fact that we could call our lecturers by their first name. Even now it still feels awkward to me.
@@ocarinajourney5374 exactly... One professor was like my name is Mike... I'm Canadian. I went to a Canadian University... I was like, I can't call you Mike... I just cant
You're not weird at all by the way. You can never be weird by being respectful lol and since we dont really have a responsibility to use formal language with olders we feel close to family members when we call them by name (for ex: uncle john, aunt jenny... ) they won't think you're weird old people here just wanna get close to young people.
When I lived in Japan I found it really hard to get used to people not wearing seat belts. In Australia it is against the law to not wear seatbelts so when my host dad was driving down a mountain going like 70kmph and everyone was like 'nah, it's all good, you don't need to wear your seatbelt' it was super uncomfortable for me haha. I kinda never understood that
Given that in the 80's a lot of people in Aus/NZ didn't even have cars with seat belts in the back... and now we have the opposite with so much tech safety going on in cars now it's crazy. But it doesn't make good drivers.
ah! that makes a lot go sense. I didn't think that the japanese government would have let a safety thing like that pass XD
omg I went to Afghanistan last year, and I experienced the exact same thing! We were riding up mountains incredibly fast, and I was sitting in an open trunk of a jeep LOL
I find that you do get used to it though, and honestly it's hella fun haha
+Kitty Time You mentioned your host dad was driving around in the montains, so I'm assuming its in the countryside, so he was just ignoring the law on seat belts.
it was pretty rural, yeah XD
The Japanese culture determines the language you should speak based on whether you're above or below the party you speak to, whereas, say in North America, it's based on whether you feel distant or close. Those two measures do not cross well. I think that is one of the sources of confusion.
+Yoshikazu Hayashi Vertical vs. horizontal...
*****
Thanks for your analysis. I think our Keigo system is a framework that is required to use when you interact with other people. And in that framework we know how to express respect, friendliness, or even hatred, regardless of what kinds of Keigo you use.
*****
Are they in the same grade or different? If the latter is the case, one will use the keigo to the other. If former, not. Not confusing at all.
+Yoshikazu Hayashi We have the same thing in south Asia! In many Indian languages, you are supposed to use formal speech if the person is older than you. That includes your parents, teachers, and strangers as well. I have had plenty of close relations with all of the above categories of people. The concept being, that you give someone *honour* because well, you like them!
+Yoshikazu Hayashi I mean, I think it also has to do with rank as well. Like if you're close to a teacher let's say (which you can be), I don't think you would speak to them the way you speak to your friends. You would still speak respectfully to them
squat toilet + the gap in American stalls = awkward situation
Thank god the stalls are all the way down to the ground.
LOL, that reminds me of the time I went into the restrooms at an airport in the Middle East and there were squat toilets. As I walked in, there was a lady in the first cubicle who hadn't closed the door and I got a full frontal. I can't get that image out of my mind! :)
Twice, in Osaka and in Kobe, I've seen a squat toilet WITH a huge gap between the door and floor, you could basically see the whole person peeing.
@@mindimoom9142 YIKES!
There are so many "I'm In Japan, I'm so cool and amazing" people on youtube, but you too are really down to earth. Your videos are actually pretty informative, and show not only postitive but also rather a bit negative stuff too. Really nice to see, thank you :)
I'm 100% of Japanese lived in Japan for 15years, but still can't be so sure i dont stain my pants when i have to use the Japanese style toilet. I absolutely prefer the western style.
i've been living in Germany and going to an international school there since 2014. At first, when the lower graders called me by my last name only(without -san or -senpai) , i felt like something is missing, but it didnt take so long to get over it.
One thing that i still struggle is when i talk with my Senpai (higher graders).
I talk with them just like when i do with my friends, but im always kinda nervous if i was being rude. First time, when i called one of my senpai by his last name only, i was praying so hard in my heart to not be judged as a rude kid.
Just asking a teacher "Is this correct?" requires me to get up the courage since i wasn't so sure that it was the proper way to ask people who you should use Keigo in Japan.
+chovipon814 That's kind of nice. But you shouldn't worry.
+chovipon814 - I think you will find that European and especially North American cultures are very flexible about their "rules." So, relax and just be yourself! (The exception might be France.)
That would be offensively polite in America.. haha
chovipon814 huh. Good to know. Thanks! :)
I don't know about Germany, but in the US people sometimes call me by my last name. I don't find it offensive.
Rachel, if it makes you feel better, I've seen tutorials on how to use the toilet in a victorian dress. So you wouldn't be alone.
Oh my god I watched that in English class
That sounds crazy!
Ok, I don't feel alone. Why I watch them, I have no idea. Like when will I need to know how to use the potty in a bustle?
Was that Prior Attire?
敬語っていうのは日本人以外にはすごく距離のある話し方に思えると思うのですが、実は全く同じ敬語でも日本人同士ならその敬語が親しみをもって使っているものか他人行儀なものなのかを判別することができるのです。
ただ、これには日本人特有の空気を読むという力を最大限に発揮しなければならないので理解に苦しむ外国人の方が多いと思います。
日本人は無意識に行っていますが、相手の表情、言葉の前後、アクセント、語尾の強弱や言葉を伸ばすか伸ばさないか、相手の状況などを見て瞬時に判断しています。
これが日本人の社交辞令を見抜くコツだったりします。好意的な場合、言葉の端々に愛を感じたりしてこいつは俺のことを慕ってくれてるんだなぁっとうれしくなったり、逆にニコニコ話しながら、こいつはあんまり俺のこと好きじゃないんだなってお互い悟ったりします。
ついでに言えば周りにいる人たちも会話を聞いてるだけでその関係性を理解していたりします（（笑）
なので敬語は上手に使えば最大限の敬意と最大限の愛を同時に表すことができるので老夫婦が敬語で話すのを見て微笑ましい、かわいらしいと感じる日本人が多いのです。
Holy shit, I had to google translate this, but it seems like the BEST explanation of Japanese I've ever read. It's so insightful!
すばらしいですね~
Could you show the translation? I can't copy and paste :(
Rochelle Frosty I did a rough translation (and some bits I added) here you go:
Japanese itself is a very implicit language and I think that's part of the struggles of learning Japanese for foreigners. They need to not only learn like writing, grammar and vocabs, but also learn to guess the implied meaning behind a conversation. Whereas Japanese people naturally learn to do this growing up, so we can tell the difference between when someone is being friendly or being polite just for the sake of it. Like inspect the tone of the person's voice, choice of words, accents, subtle change in facial expressions, as well as the situation you are put in when talking to that person. So that means someone could be smiling and talking to you while secretly hating you. And it's not only you who may learn the attitude that person has towards you, but also people outside (like coworkers or classmates) observing those conversations. (People learn to do this in order to avoid trouble)
Well...that's kind of true of any language. Here in the US, there's always a tone to a conversation that people have to take into consideration before speaking. We call it 'taking the temperature of the room'.
Rachel's reason why she likes Japanese toilet is often heard from Japanese too. Most of them tell that they prefer western style at home though, they look for Japanese style outside as possible as they can. Because they don't touch anywhere of toilets used by many other people, if it's Japanese style they can use toilets feeling keep themselves clean without touching anywhere. Rachel, you're almost Japanese, aren't you?
Lol i was on a camp and we were in military accommodation, and the toilets were nightmare material, I would've killed for squatting toilets
Yep, same here (US), but you also watch out that you're not squatting in a poison oak patch!
Rosie Hen . so much better!
I'm from Russia, and here we have the same type of toilets in many places. I prefer them to western style toilets in public places, cause I too, like to not touch anything.
Waaaait. People actually touch the western styled toilets? That's fcking disgusting
In italy we have both types but we don't sit ew
There are households in the US where the children have to address their father as "sir", and there are Japanese families where keigo is really never used, such as mine. It really depends per family.
Yeah, in the US or Canada if your dad makes you call him Sir that means you probably don't have a good relationship with your father and it can also be a sign of abuse. Because you basically use "sir" in completely formal occasions where the "sir" is never your equal and basically has control over you, like teachers for example. It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say, but if you see a kid calling their dad "sir" in a completely serious manner it probably isn't a good sign.
anamiko I think it's pretty common in the US, it's a tradition particularly in military families. I would be careful make an assumption that the families that do this have problems.
Kenshin Ushiroda I said it could be a sign of problems. If you use such a formality that could show that you're not really close with your family and emotional problems may go unchecked. The kid would see their father as more of a "superior" than a father.
So true! My dad didn't, but I knew many kids growing up in the military that called there dad's sir, just as I would call all elder men sir.
In the southern US, it is tradition to call all older men, include and especially your father, sir and you call all older women, including your mother, ma'am (mam [short a]). It is a sign of respect, especially when responding to an elder or parent, or when meeting someone for the first time before you know how they prefer to be addressed.
Wow, I can't imagine, for example, my friends of 10+ years calling me "Mister Hughes". What we actually do is more along the lines of, "WHAT'S UP, DIPSHIT?!" :P
😂😂😂
+Hobbs So very rude.
***** Not at all, only the best of friends have such a greater relationship that you can tease and tear into each other like that. :)
+zam023 you dont have a sense of humour
gway
It was really interesting to hear you guys speak about culture shock in Japan, cuz it was total opposite for me, I was born and raised in Japan and moved to Canada. Well about the lack of Keigo here, at first it felt a little weird for me to address everyone as "you" regardless of age. But I got used to it pretty quick. it's actually pretty convenient and easier. I love that now. Like I can address my boss with his first name, I think that's awesome.
One more thing, I love squatting style toilet. I miss it.. It's just easier to squeeze it out, lol! Sorry about the graphic description there..
Anyhow, keep up the good work, hope you like your life in Japan, cheers!
The human body is actually designed to be squatting while defecating, so it makes sense that it would be easier to squeeze it out when using a squat toilet. There's no strain on the colon unlike with the Western style toilet.
She did it.
She made a tutorial.
I really love your collaboration with Rachel! I feel like they bring the best & most interesting discussions and I can't help but have to watch them (even if I have more important things to do). Please make more!
Ahhh thank you so much!! So glad you enjoy them!! ;D
+Ariane C It would be interesting to revisit this topic with Grace ( @Texan in Tokyo ) and Ryosuke, because they love _onsen_. Interesting contrast. Ryosuke loves _natto_, but IIRC Grace has to force herself to eat it, agreeing with you there.
Aria
You may think it's the most embarrassing tutorial in the world, Rachel, but I'm sure it will be popular; lots of foreigners are scared/need information! Even Sharla does! :)
+Slimy Weasles I have to agree the thought of trying to use a squat toilet and keep your pants and such dry without taking them all the way off ... not possible. So yeah a tutorial probably would help a lot of people.
+Tania LoNero its actually really easy!! Ive never wet my pant while using squat toilets and i didnt take it off
+Slimy Weasles Maybe do it as a cartoon.
+Slimy Weasles I know right? This concept makes me so uneasy because I'll be doing a lot of travelling while I'm in Japan, including to rural areas where squat toilets are inevitable D:
+Slimy Weasles squat toilet is very common in my country, we have it all over the places :D I love using it to compare to the modern one, like Rachel said how we don't need to touch anything and it 's much faster too. It's not that hard to use it without taking our pants off all the way. I've been using it since I was little I have no idea how I learned to use it haha
Dutch people are molted to their bike as well.
It's a fact! I'm Dutch and I do not own a car or even have a drivers licence but I do own three bikes and use them for all my transport within my home town.
True, I ride my bike to school with no hands and a backpack and I've seen people texting while on a bike too😂
Aurica Kosza I've been to The Netherlands recently, they'll run you over. Lol
same with Denmark (or just all of Scandinavia)
Yes! Bikes and ice skates 👍
Just as English speakers can show their respect or disdain with the same sentence, Japanese speakers can show distance or friendliness using the same keigo. Ultimately the form you use have less significance than the heart you want to show. Zeami, Noh master in the 15th century, said, "Out of (your) heart, into a form. Out of the form, into (their) heart." That roughly means the following in my interpretation.
You first have to master the form in which you want to express something.
When you have mastered the form, you will no longer be aware of it and express freely
what your heart wants to.
+John Doe Thank you. Can I ask what culture you are from? Just curious.
John Doe
Thanks. At least I see you've been exposed to multiple sets of values, which is good I think.
Yes. I have some friends who have been in multiple cultural environments and I find them more tolerating if not fully accepting other values than their own. Thanks for the interesting discussion!
+Yoshikazu Hayashi woah that was beautiful :O
+Yoshikazu Hayashi German language also has a certain language to keep with superiors and strangers, also a form of "polite language".
I've grown up with the German culture. My family lives in Denmark, though - I went to a German school. In Denmark it is custom to speak to everyone quite casually and only in situations as meeting Her Majesty Margrethe II or other royals polite language is still used. It died off somewhere around the 60s with a revolution of teachers, I think, who wanted to teach new values to children and thus ended up in "polite language" mostly vanishing. I can fluently switch between both languages but currently living and studying in Denmark while not having a lot of opportunity to practice my German I find myself with the same feeling as these two young women when talking 'polite German' when I am back in Germany. But when I used to go to a German school I would feel conflicted talking so casually to superiors and teachers. Communication is such an interesting thing to observe, but your interpretation of the saying quite beautifully puts it into words.
10:35 Some behaviours may seem to be the exact opposite of what we grew up with in the Americas.
I've heard about this Brazilian family who went to Japan to work; their child went to school (in Japan) and one of the teachers complained to his parents that, whenever he had to reprimand the boy, the kid would look him in the eyes. Apparently, in Japan you're not supposed to do that -I believe it's regarded as a sign of defiance-, which is something you're actually expected to do in Brazil - looking away is disrespectful, often regarded as a sign of disinterest, as if making clear you couldn't care less.
6:35 Sharla: «I don't think I'd wanna go to an onsen with [and be naked in front of] Rachel.»
Rachel is disappoint :-o
+WalterWorld·Vlog i'm brazilian and i can say is true !
Woah!!! That's really interesting! Stark differences! Probably the teachers should have done some research, it's their duty to know about their students.
+WalterWorld·Vlog I think most Western countries prefer eye contact and in Asian countries it's seen as being disrespectful towards an elder. My South Korean friend said she was shocked when New Zealand people looked her in the eyes and she freaked out about it - it's seen as extremely rude in SK!
Wow. I can see myself as a kid getting in more trouble for not making eye contact. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" :p
+germankiwigal That is not true, eye contact is fine just don't constantly stare them in the eyes.
As to speaking polite to your family... I think that it is not that it shows a lack of closeness to someone, but that to speak politely to your mother and father in law shows that you honor and value them. To speak casually to them shows that you actually value them less. It is similar as to how you would pick up a valued item and handle it carefully so that you would never possibly damage the item... you would never wish to damage the person by not handling them carefully. It is showing them love and respect. That is how I see it at least... :)
Thank you for this. It helps me understand the Japanese perspective more.
yea this also helps me understand it
Most beautiful and helpful reply ever. Thank you
Maybe. But for westerners, closeness means informalness. It means you don't need to worry about upsetting your family- who is supposed to be on your side- over an ill chosen word. In a sense, it's being a good host because you're not forcing guests to put forward more effort. While it's polite here to *start* with honorifics such as "sir" or "ma'am" if the person doesn't invite you to call them by a closer name, it's the equivalent of going over to someone's house and not being invited to grab a seat. It's awkward, and an insult.
Sometimes we connect formal speech as something forced.... that's why we feel distant while using it with someone we're close to... think about it like this...when you ask your younger sibling to eat dinner you just want them to come and eat dinner....but when you ask your mom/dad to come have dinner....you put feeling into it....you ask them politely/respectfully because you are forever grateful for their concerns towards you and their hardwork....in both cases you are dealing with family, but the feeling is different... you're close to your siblings and your parents too...but the closeness is not similar....I don't know if it makes sense 😂😂 I tried to explain the feeling
I feel smothered by this culture of keigo that makes me recognize someone as not an individual but a title or position. I don't like it since it is not rational and reminds me of a "wall" or distance, as you mentioned in this video.
When I visited the U.S. several years ago on business, I went to a restaurant for dinner with American staffs and customers. One of the staffs started talking with a customer friendly by saying "What do you want to have for dinner?" or something like that. I thought "Oh, English has only one word *you* to talk to someone, it's okay to used a direct expression to a customer, and they never pay attention to ages!" I was surprised by the simpleness of English and the American culture.
In Japan, we would have to use several terms which mean *you* in English. Like FamilyName-sama, anata, kimi, omae, and so on. And we would say not "何を食べる?" but "何を召し上がりますか?" when we asked it to a customer. Even though the action (eating) is the same, we always have to think of how old, and how high/low he/she is.
Kinda sounds like a pain and kinda cold, but if you grow up with it its' normal i guess....
For comparison.
In Norway it is rude to talk to someone as if they are higher or lower rank than you, especially if they are close. Norway got social norms that basically forbids you to think you are better or worse then someone (it's more complicated but yeah....this is both good and bad).
Funny thing is, in Norway. The closer you are to someone the more rude you are, but mostly in a joke-full way. Especially if the person has served his/hers military service. You would not believe how dark and disturbing jokes we fling at each-other most of the time. I love it, sometimes we laugh so hard we cramp up. (mandatory military service is HIGHLY common in Norway for any boy/man born before 92, after that is' much less common for various reasons)
The challenge is getting close to Norwegians as we got HUGE personal bubbles as a social show of respect for each-other. So we can seem a bit cold.
*wisper wisper* The trick is to trap us in some social framework where we cannot escape like a sport or going to volunteer events. Or give us booze..... but be warned if given booze Norwegians can loosen up a bit to much, but don't worry.
Thanks for your explanation. Very interesting😀
In the UK, especially in Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the north of England, swearing at someone is seen as a sign of affection. Obviously swearing at someone is also an aggressive act, so you need to know the person well and be able gauge how far you can take things, which for an outsider can be a bit of a minefield. I think a lot of people are shocked when they come to the UK and they don’t find us incredibly reserved all the time. We”re only reserved when we meet someone for the first time, once we know you well don’t be surprised to be called “a complete f*cking c*nt” by your closest friends. I know this applies to the Antipodes as well.
@@uremawifenowdave it's the same way in certain parts of the USA, especially amongst men. If you go to a bar, you will find most of the men who are good friends, talking to each other this way. Must be very confusing and strange for certain foreigners not used to this, to hear it.
I feel uncomfortable while talking to someone in English...mostly I'm terrified of the word 'you'....like you said, English has just 'you' as a word to refer to someone despite their age....but it seems so weird to me to say 'you' to my a*should younger siblings and my DAD!!! Idk it just feels weird 😂😂 so I'm glad my language has differences According to age and position....
I’m Japanese and I’ve been to Canada. I had many friends senior than me and I talked with them in casual way, cuz we were talking in English and it sounds natural.
And I love that way of talking.
But if we had met in Japan and spoken in Japanese, I would’ve been uncomfortable...because in Japanese, we often use Keigo to show respect to others as one person -not distance. We find casualties in our tones and facial expressions.
I feel comfort in that way if I speak in Japanese.
Anyways, I love both styles!:)
Swedes also learn to bike early, I think I was like 4 years old when I learned to ride a bicycle, before that I had a tricycle. I know many people that bike with their hands not being on the handles and who can turn without touching the handles. It's pretty common here. Especially in some cities it's really common to bike, for example in Uppsala people look at you like you're crazy if you choose to take the bus or walk instead of biking xD In the capital, Stockholm, it's not that common though, there people walk or take the underground.
Katarina Bergqwist Dutch people too 👌🏻
I've heard that you Dutch build your cities for bikes to be the main vehicle, is that true? :D
The dutch have dedicated sidewalks for bikes along almost all the roadways, so yes. But I would still consider car to be main vehicle but people bike more often than driving when its possible.
I am english and grew up knowing how to ride a bike. To be honest its how your family is I think, and what habits/skills you learn growing up from them.
Emma Edenden exactly
SUBTITLES:
Dutch now available! :D
Japanese - Yoshi
Spanish - Hector
THANK YOU!!! :D
The texture of those foods look like snot. In that way I would say perhaps you are used to it... but it might create all kinds of unpleasant conjurings in the mind.
+Sharla in Japan Hi Sharla! If is not too much trouble, could you ask to Hector wich program used to edit the subtitles? I'm macking the spanish version for the videos of Mimei and it would be good to know.
Sorry for my english, i'm better at the translation haha
Love your videos!
+Eddu Martinez It's listed in the description box! :D
+Sharla in Japan Thanks! I don't noticed that you changed the link :P
I don't think I would be very comfortable in a onsen or stay long,I can't stand long because of the temperature. I couldn't even stand in a jacuzzi xD
I know how to ride bicycle but is been 10yrs since I rode onexD
I'm an English language instructor in Turkey and I happenned to find this video when I try to find a video about today's topic, culture shock. But now I am amazed how Japan things are similar to Turkish ones. We have the same kind of toilets, we dont wear shoes indoors (i mean at home but not in offices), we have okra meal, nearly every Turk can ride bike anytime and without holding the handles, we have hamams where everybody baths at the same time, even it is weird to be naked in front of others, especially old people love bathing in hamams, and yes you should speak in a formal language if the other person has a higher position than you, like your boss, teacher, older ones in your or your spouse's family. The culture is soooo similar. Although I knew that Japans and Turks love eachother and have similar values, I didn't know thast we are similar in so many ways. It so interesting and so nice :)
I think that Korean and Japanese language learners should be taught that a certain way of speaking is "rank-signaling language" not formal/informal. Trying to compare casual English to "informal" Korean or Japanese is just wrong IMHO. Asian culture is based on community and hierarchy within the group. People need to always signal where they stand in the pecking order. That makes people feel comfortable. If you are out of bounds with your rank-signaling, it just makes people feel uncomfortable. In the USA, we use informal language to signal warmth and affection. We hardly ever "signal rank" by how we talk, using exaggerated formality and attention to good grammar. Asian people don't experience language the same way. It's nothing to do with warmth and affection; it's about achieving harmony within the group because everyone knows where they stand and they respect the boundaries.
Nuksa naw, it's the same. It's self debasing and stupid. Who gives a shit if someone's higher rank unless they're abusing that authority over you, and then it brings it back to my original point.
So calling your mother “Okaachan” is not more affectionate than “Okaasan”?
Well yes but no
Just for the record, this comment is really wrong and biased. I gotta say it’s typical orientalism. From Japan, sincerely.
Like a pack of wolves?
You almost made it sound like okra was some kind of vegetable that you don't/rarely find in America. I live in Louisiana and okra isn't uncommon down here. It's freaking delicious and is used in a lot of Cajun dishes.
It just sounded funny to me hearing you two describe it, haha. And yeah, it is really slimy if all you do is boil it, but it still taste good to me.
I'm in southern Ohio USA and I ate it when was a kid but not since. It was ok, but too many other choices in 2018. Most areas of USA it is uncommon.
I'm in CA and I've never had it. I've heard of it but know it's more of a southern dish.
I was surprised when she described okra, I thought its available all around the world!
I live in Canada and I had okra
in ky and never had it. sounds disgusting
敬語を使うのは、親しき仲にも礼儀ありって教えられてきたからですかね。
どんなに仲のいい先輩でも、尊敬している事を忘れないでほしいので使いたいって思います。
敬語でもくだけた喋り方はたくさんありますから敬語でも仲良くなれます！
ともね T それ程の敬意があるからこそおもてなし文化が成り立っているんだと思う
Being from the southern US, I found it pretty weird that neither of you had heard about okra before going to japan. It's extremely common here, especially fried okra, or in a gumbo.
Same, I don't even like okra (too slimy) and I see it so much lol
I had the same thought!
Me too. And I never saw okra in Japan either.
Here in the North US, this is the first ive ever heard of it!
Sometimes I wonder what people are looking at when they walk around. Apparently not okra. Okra is stocked in every national chain grocery store in the US. Fresh veggies. Sometimes canned, I guess but I try to avoid canned veggies. Also frozen, often as fried okra.
I speak Spanish and when you guys were talking about the formal way of speaking it reminded me a lot of the Spanish you formal or Usted. You would use this for many of the same reasons (older people, higher rank, older family members, parents, or strangers, ect.) and when Rachael was talking about never being able to use informal language around her in-laws I can see where she is coming from but to me if I got married then it would seem to me more of a way to show that you respect the person and not necessarily that you don't have a close relationship with them. I can see how it can seem difficult to wrap your head around the fact that the you would use the same way of speaking to an in-law or family member you feel close to as well as a stranger, but that also means that you have the same level as respect, or using it towards coworkers as a way of showing you respect their rank above your own. I don't really use it toward my parents (although I should), but I do tend to use it toward my grandparents because it is very much just culture and the way someone is raised thinking as well as formality and etiquette. But that is just my opinion formal language.
Definitely. It also varies between Spanish-speaking countries. Argentines use usted a lot less, while in Colombia (I've heard) they use it with their romantic partners and even their pets.
Now Rachel has made a tutorial lol
THE DAY HAS COME
Tits or get the fuck out.
@@themerovingian4252 bruh
@@themerovingian4252, please have some decorum.
Where?
お互いに『親しい』と認識し合っている間柄（この動画内の老夫婦の例など）が敬語（おそらく丁寧語）を使う理由を考えてみた。
①恋の初期段階で、好きな相手のことを知りたい、自分が良い人だと相手に思われたい、相手に印象よく思われて好きになってほしいなどの理由から、互いに懇切丁寧に話す（前提）
②①を踏まえて。親しくなっても尚、丁寧に話すことで、『今でもあなたと恋人になりたてだった時の気持ちを忘れてない』『あなたにまだまだ興味がある』『あなたを敬う気持ちをずっと持ち続けている』…つまり『好き』『大切』と伝えられる
みたいなメリットがあるかなと思いました。
ジュンさんがおっしゃる『敬語で会話する老夫婦が可愛い』と思うことは、私にもあります。
それは何故かと考えたことはありませんでしたが、①②から、『老夫婦が恋愛初期の恋人のようなやりとりをしているようにも見えて微笑ましい』みたいなものなのかな。
敬語、丁寧語は個人的に大好きな文化なので、動画主さんにも好きになってもらえたら嬉しい。
Do americans really dont know how to ride a bike? I toght it was kinda common
+burt591 Most people in America ride bikes as kids, but once you start driving there's no need for a bike, so it's easy to be out of practice. Adults don't really ride bikes in America unless they're training for a triathlon or mountain biking or something, nobody really uses bikes as transportation.
Yeah, in Canada most of the year it's going to be too cold to ride a bike, so it's probably not convenient for transportation, though I'm sure lots of people still use them for recreation.
I think it is just because everything is so spread out. Most of the time, the only bike riders I see are kids going to and from school, or people who are doing it for recreation. I never seen anyone use bikes as transportation to get to and from work. I use to ride my bike all the time when I was younger, but now I haven't been on a bike in years now.
Sarcastic Sandy One of them is Canadian. The other is American
Lol yes we do. Most everyone learns as a child, some people may not do it as they get older, but you never really forget how to ride one. It just may take a bit to get reaccustomed. I ride like 8 hrs a week, so not really an issue here, but I'm also a triathlete.
I hate being called ma'am or anything important (Irish people hate that formal stuff!) we love casual etc....
+Irish girl In Spain Yeah, when I moved to Texas I had to get used to people calling me ma'am and calling other people ma'am and sir. It's a sign of respect, and in schools it's required. Where I'm from, people get offended if you DO call them ma'am or sir, because it's like you're mocking them or calling them a hardass.
+Irish girl In Spain Me too!!! I hate especially when other adults (or even kids over the age of like 8) call me ma'am or address me as Miss. I am from the Southeastern US, so using yes ma'am and no ma'am is pretty common here, but it just makes me feel old! And even though I am 31, I definitely don't feel my age! Haha! :-)
Yup. Formality really doesn't suit the Irish temperment. I'm 50 now and I still prefer to be called "Hey you" instead of "mister" or "sir"
There is something like that in Japan. Sometimes women are addressed as "oneisan", that's like "older sister" but being called "obasan" is like "aunty." It's not necessarily impolite, but for most women it's a hard transition.
Haha - like the tough transition from "Miss" to "Ma'am."
I was living with a foreign exchange student from Japan a while back and once she felt more comfortable she actually asked me about the formal speaking thing. She was older than me and didn't want to insult me but was confused about how casual I was with her. It was really interesting to see her perspective in that respect. We both learned a lot from each other.
Okra isn't always slimey and gooey. Southerners in the US eat it pickled or fried. So good.
Fried is my fav
+Leftover Crack fried okra is the best and pickled is soo good. haha. i live in the south, obviously. alabama to be exact.
+Leftover Crack I am a fan of fried okra. I tried to describe it to the teachers at the elementary school where I teach English, and they were utterly baffled.
I like leftover cracks username
+Sergio Garcia Do you know it's a band name?
In French, there are two levels of politeness "tu" and "vous" and it works a bit like keigo, but way less difficult. When I went to Japan, my English friends had so much trouble with the idea of keigo, but did not (I mean, I sucked at it because it was hard). For example, my mother still uses the polite form of French when she speaks to her mother-in-law even though she married my father 25 years ago. I could not imagine using the informal version of French with older people or with my boss until they tell me they prefer it (and then it takes a while to get used to it).
Btw, where are you from in Canada? I'm from Montreal. :)
Je suis française et j'ai l'impression qu'on utilise le vouvoiement plus que vous au Canada. On m'a dit qu'au Québec on vouvoyait juste les vielles personnes et son patron. Mais j'y suis jamais allée donc je ne sais pas si c'est vrai.
Honnêtement je me sens plus à l'aise avec le vouvoiement que le tutoiement, le père de ma cousine m'a dit de le tutoyer mais ça me mets toujours mal à l'aise. Ça peut m'énerver aussi des fois que les gens ne me vouvoient pas même si je ne m'attends pas vraiment à ce qui le fassent.
Par contre je préfère tutoyer les gens sur Internet. C'est bizarre.
「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」日本人はこの言葉を大切にしてるから、親しくなっても目上の人には敬語を使うんだと思う。その代わり、日本人は親しくなった時には、声のトーン、表情、行動で近さを表す人が多いイメージ。
It's not normal that people who are married use keigo each other lol
I guess It's a one type of japanese culture but it is getting uncommon among young people.
It's normal for people who think japanese old customs are important though I think.
Most japanese don't use keigo to their parents and when I see japanese like this ,even me ,I think " wow they are extremely well-bred or raised by severe parents. lol
But It's true we have many complicated rules of keigo.
That's so interesting about keigo and married couples. Reminds me of my high school French teacher being surprised that we were surprised that married couples would use the formal you form with each other.
When I lived in Finland, the biggest challange was the language and in fact I totally failed learning Finnish, even though I'm such a language nerd.🙈😔 Luckily, (almost all) Finns are SO GOOD at speaking English, pretty much accent-free -- it's so impressive!!
Also, it was harder than I'm used to to become friends with Finns since they're a little more reserved than f.e. people from central and southern Europe.
ねばねば、好き好き。
+The Anime Man 本当〜！？:O
+Sharla in Japan オクラとか山芋大好きなんだけどｗ
+The Anime Man うらやましいww
+Sharla in Japan Translation? please
+The Anime Man How do like Okura?
I joined the Navy a couple of months ago and was afforded the opportunity to go to Japan. I decided to do some research on Japan and I came across your channel and I want to say that your stories have excited me even more! Thanks for sharing!
Germans are also born on bikes XD when I hear that someone cant ride a bike, I am always like WHAT? ! XD
so I recently began to permanently live in a German community and WOW. They can ride their bikes for miles, while me- not so much.
That bit in the video really perplexed me. Here in the UK riding a bike is like a right of passage. Parents teach their kids how to ride around the age of four or five. The big problem is that in the UK our bike lanes are either badly designed or completely unavailable and the roads are terrible, so cycling really only continues after 16 as a sport or hobby.
@@uremawifenowdave In the midwesterner US, it's very much the same. I remember when I was around eight years old, a kid in my class just started riding a bike and my friends and I were really taken aback.
I can't ride a bike. I've never been able to ride a bike. Sure, it's seen as a little odd where I come from (southern United States) but not so odd that it's shocking.
Yeah. I'm german and I learned it as a child. We were making daytrips with the whole family riding bikes. I then stopped for a few years and now I'm driving to work with my bicycle every morning in around 20 minutes and later back. A college of mine is driving like 40minutes to work with his bike. But I still need one hand.
I'm from germany and visited different parts of the usa a few times. What I never get used to is the overly friendly behaviour of the staff in supermarkets, shopping centers or even coffee shops. In germany they are friendly, too. But not to that extent. Therefore it seems to me always fake and has a bitter aftertaste, you could say. I simply can't believe them and don't like it pretty much. That's one thing I'm not getting used to. ;)
Lol someone says something nice about the US but they decide not to like it. Well in all honesty it's good that service people were friendly to you because it's their job- friendliness usually makes you trust that person more and makes you want to come back to the store. I am from the U.S. And I personally don't think salespeople are always up to par but there are a number of good ones. What I consider a friendly salesperson to be is someone who greets me when I walk in, asks me if I need any help and informs me of store specials, is knowledgable about the products they sell and is very attentive. I'm sure sometimes maybe the friendliness is fake especially when that person is working for a commission but most times that's just how they act on a normal basis at their job. The only thing I would advise against is asking advice on clothes you want to buy from a salesperson. Some people will tell you anything looks good even though it doesn't.
gold aria Yeah, I know. ^^ But I can't help it. :D
+gold aria
well with our "servicewüste" (service desert ") in Germany, some Germans may feel bit confused when a service person, that just met you the first time, talks with you like you're close friends. It is not considered inpolite in Germany, but we're not used to it and it may feel over-the-top to some Germans.
But this seems to generally be a problem in communication with some Americans...all I met were very friendly and started acting as if they were pretty close to you pretty fast, even if you are just colleagues at work and not friends at all. I think the line between work and freetime is more blurred and it sometimes can sometimes feel "fake" to us, that come from a culture that makes, as I feel it, stronger differences between friends and clients colleagues or business partners.
It feels like someone faking friendship...feels like they're lying to you...
+Awesomebird Sama to us not acting casually is like some one is intentionally ignoring you.
+kenrick encinas you don't have to ignore someone or be impolite just because you're not acting as if you were close friends with someone.
敬語は日本人の私にとっても葛藤があります。親しくしたいけれど、丁寧さを失うわけにはいかない。けれど、敬語を使うと距離を感じてしまう、というような。
老夫婦が敬語を使って仲良くしているのが”いいなぁ”となるのは、その夫婦が敬語を使うことにうまく適応して、敬語を使うことと愛情を示すことを両立できている、一種のコミュニケーションの達人となっているからだと思います。日本人的なsubtleな表現で表現をして、そのシグナルを読み取るという、二人だけのprotocolが出来上がっているのだと思います。そういうprotocolが出来るまでには、長い経験と二人の歴史が必要なので、それも併せてその老夫婦の魅力を増します。
こういうコミュニケーションの達人になりたいけれど、なれなくて苦労している日本人は多いと思います。
I, a Japanese guy, have a mixed feeling with Keigo. I guess I'm a rather friendly guy compared to average Japanese people and often feel embarassed with Keigo, like I wanna make friends with a person, though I don't wanna be rude by not using Keigo.
I think the old wife and husband using Keigo look adorable because they are now veterans of Keigo. They can communicate their love and feeling to each other and use Keigo simultaneously. Veterans of Keigo can do it by using subtle difference in phrases or gestures and reading the meaning of them. However, this is very difficult even to most Japanese people. The use and reading of subtle expression need much experience, often valid only among specific persons (like slang). This needs much time and effort to get the skill (or the "protocol" of communication among them). This is the source of the adorable value, I think. In other words, one can feel the history of the couple through the natural usage of Keigo, or one can recognize they love each other so much that they can afford the room of Keigo. If they were not intimate with each other, they can't use Keigo in peaceful atmosphere.
日本でも親に敬語で話す人はあんまりいないよ！そうとう厳格な家庭だよ〜😮
Haha, I am Japanese and grew up in a Japanese household but I am born in New York and I swear up and down, the struggles in this video are real. I am not used to Japanese toilets, onsen, or keigo. I am super good about neba neba food though (natto is maybe my favorite thing to eat). I worked a year ago at a Japanese udon restaurant and my Japanese coworkers just loved that I was understanding their language but their culture and word plays were still kind of foreign to me. And every time I would try to kind of prove that I knew stuff, it would be like "oh, that slang isn't even popular in Japan anymore." XP
Not to mention keigo is not just about language or the way you say things but the whole attitude attached to it is foreign to me. People get incredibly insulted sometimes when I speak improperly because I am obviously looking and speaking like a native.
+Aya Sakamoto If you were born in the States I'm pretty sure you don't speak like a native Japanese, you'll definitely have an accent .
I can imagine how Westerners can find "Kego" weird, beause they're not raised in a culture that follows that system. Well, as an Asian (Filipino), who was born and raised in Asia, in a culture that's similar to Japanese who uses the "kego" system as well, I actually find it rather weird to be so casual with ppl that are older than me or of higher position than me. When I first moved to Canada, it was very awkward calling my teachers their name, or my friends parents their name, and my boss their name, more so, to talk to them casually. For me, i felt like I was disrespecting them or degrading them so much when really, I know they don't really feel that way. I find it absolutely awkward! And it's so funny how they think i'm so cute for using proper words and use a formal or lower tone when talkig to them. They literally thought I was very respectful and proper, when really in my head, it's the least thing I can do to ease my feeling of awkwardness talking to them that way. Hahaha!
And because of that, I can never be close to someone older and be completely comfortable with them after 6 yrs of living here. Because in my head, i secretly remind myself of their age and status and that I should somehow still be respectful towards them. So in short, I can never put my guard down when speaking or hanging out with them. Haha! Weird..
Rachel Hunter I know! I figured that the longer I stayed here in Canada. In Asia, it's the opposite.
+Julie Hermoso I was also born and raised in the Philippines until we moved to Canada when I was 8 so I totally understand and agree with you, especially with calling older people by their first name, cos usually for us Filipinos, regardless of your relationship, you call them either tito/tita or ate/kuya to be respectful. I remember when I first met my neighbours, it was really difficult for me to say or call out their names- I had to fight back from saying tito/tita. Also with my friend's parents, it was extremely awkward to call them by their first name, so I just avoid mentioning their name
Maria M HAHAHA! Oh the struggles eh? lol! It really takes a lot of getting used to.
I'm Filipino too!! Foreign ppl call us overly respectful but in here if you don't say "po" enough you'd be called rude and disrespectful XD whereas in Norway it is completely normal to call everyone by first name. Teachers, bosses, professors etc. don't even get called "ms." Or "sir", just literally their first name.
日本文化には本音と建前、曖昧さ、わびさびのような、日本人以外の人には理解が難しい要素が沢山あると思います。そして、それに困惑する人（日本人以外の人）も多いのではないかと思います。ご苦労やご不便をお察しいたします。
私は、相手を想い、敬う気持ちを表す手段として、敬語をとても美しい文化と感じています。
日本人は、ビジネスシーンにおいて一般常識に従い敬語を使い、また年上の人に対しては特に意識することなく敬語を使っています。
様々な場面で、様々な敬語が存在しますが、心から相手を想って、敬う気持ちを表したい時に出てくる敬語はとても美しい言葉です。
敬語に関してはお二人の気持ちもよくわかりますね。日本って子供の時から学校では｢ちゃん、くん｣｢さん｣を付けるのか、苗字で呼ぶのか、名前で呼ぶのか色々気を遣いますからね。
大学でも浪人して後輩なのに年上とか、社会に出て年下の上司とか日本人でも対応に困ることもありますね。
昭和かそれ以前は家では父親が絶対の存在で、その次に長男が絶対で、女性、母親でさえも仕えるような立場でしたからね。
もう少しフランクになってもいいと思うんですけどね、僕は。
plz, Dutch people are born on bikes. Nobody beats the dutch
+seraphiccandy21 You aren't kidding. I went to Amsterdam and I still couldn't figure out the bike rules of the road after a week there. It seemed to me like some sort of bike anarchy.
Elizabeth Diener Yes ^^ I live in Groningen, a dutch city that is known as the "cycling city" , it litrally takes 5 minutes to get to the city center on bike and 20 with the car because so many paths are bike only. It does take a while to get used to it but when you do you find that it is so much more efficient then cars. Thats actually why they changed it in Amsterdam...because the cars were causing congestion, pollution, noise and were dangerous...
+Elizabeth Diener You will not learn the rules of the road by observing cyclists in Amsterdam, because they have a tendency to flaunt those rules. When in Amsterdam, it's important to know that trams basically ALWAYS have the right of way, and that, as a motorist, you're in trouble if you hit a cyclist, whether it was your fault or not.
Please note that the reddish pavements are, in fact, bicycle paths. I lived in Amsterdam for three years and have had some near misses with tourists who happily stepped onto the bicycle path without looking, as was doing 30 km/h (20 mph).
+seraphiccandy21 ofniett!! We rijden zelfs in de sneeuw naar school op de fiets of in de regen :(
Huong van grinsven Em, waarom bin je boos? Dat heb ik toch gezegt? In mijn post heb ik uitgelegt dat nederlanders de beste fietsers ter wereld zijn :/
The funny thing is that Rachel actually made the squat toilet video. XD
There are squat toilets in China and most times they're clean and I prefer them but on road trips I've seen squat toilets where people don't aim well and there's poop and pee all over the floor...
that's Chi-Chi for u
Squat Toilets in Indonesia. The horror.
Also in Taiwan
Basically everywhere but in Occident
Tori Lu my toilet in China is squat toilet
Totally agree with Sharla about squat toilets! If you have bad knees like me, they suck. Plus, using them when it's your time of the month is a nightmare, to say the least... I can use them if I have to, but I hate them. Plus, you're down so low that you can smell the pee as you're going... It's disgusting. And there is ALWAYS pee all over the floor, and it usually gets on your shoes or pants.
Keigo is a pain the ass when you're a non-native Japanese customer. When I go to get a new phone contract or something, the salesperson always wants to speak keigo to me. Even if I tell them, "Sorry, it's difficult for me to understand keigo, you can speak casually to me," it's so ingrained in them that they'll keep doing it. Or, if their manager is watching, they won't speak casually, ha ha. A lot of my non-Japanese friends who speak excellent Japanese have told me that keigo is so difficult, they'll never try to get a "real" (non-English teaching) job at a Japanese company.
Oh my god YES to everything you said regarding squat toilets!
+snowfish1121
I avoid them as much as possible in Tokyo. There's something to be said for a peaceful, long shit. You just don't get that on a squat toilet....
+SmilingWolfofBurnaby 😂 LOL I agree wholeheartedly.
+snowfish1121 It'd be really confusing...especially if they had an official or superior in the vicinity. To them it's basically like, speak rude to me. Even if they have experience with foreigners and the struggle for them to understand keigo, It'd be uncomfortable, especially when if they're native, it is a societal rule, they'd have to go against what they believe.
I never knew that Keigo went so far. I only know the basics of using it for people above you, but using it in close relationships family and friends is something I never even thought about. It's so funny how its easier to accept some culture shocks than others and how our brains process it
I'm from England, I went to Florida in September last year and like the first shock I got was the toilet stalls ;-; I couldn't get used to them because the gaps in the door was so big to me, that whenever I walked past I could actually see people inside the stall :|. Also most of the workers were very friendly both in the resort I was in and the mall I went too, which is weird since a lot of people in malls/other places in England seem to like acting like moody bitches/very un-talkative. I also learned that American bacon tastes good C:...But I still prefer the bacon in England.
+.:WelcomeToWonderland:. huge stall door gaps is super common in america. that doesn't make it any less awkward though :o
+.:WelcomeToWonderland:. Yeah big gaps in the stall doors is pretty common, when you're somewhere with proper stalls that close all the way it's kind of a luxury. Sadly you just have to suck it up and sit carefully. The worst is when a door is broken and you have to hold it closed with your foot or make your friend hold it haha.
+Muffintree14 Agh, broken locks on the worst. I completely agree.
+.:WelcomeToWonderland:. Well in America we don't think about tryin to look in some ones stall, we just avoid that stuff ya know
+.:WelcomeToWonderland:. Sometimes girls would misbehave at the school I went to and get whole stall doors taken away because it'd get broken (I have no clue what they did or why, but it happened). You want to talk about being desperate for a pee, try being so desperate to try having to find a friend (preferably 2) to stand in front of the doorway because the doorless stall is the only option. Then those gappy stall doors start to look a Lot nicer! ;)
It's also nice when it's cooler out and there's a hanger on the stall door, because if you're lucky, you can get the coat to obscure the 'view'.
In Korean language, we have pretty similar situation where sometimes married couples will continue to use formal language to each other. I have heard some people explain it as wanting to maintain respect for the other person. Wanting to position their partner in a higher position then themselves. I really think it is based on perspective as well as intention. Being American born Korean, I am definitely the type to want to become more casual with my sig. other. For me, it is important to be able to talk freely with those who are very close to me. 😊
自分より上の人だけど仲いい人とは言葉は敬語だけど態度とか話し方を砕けた感じにしてる！
by the way I came across Sharla in Shinjuku about 3 months ago while I was running fast to make it in time to meet my friends. Then you were speaking casual Japanese like a native in front of people that were probably your friends. I realised that your voice gets high pitched when speaking Japanese. I subscribed to both channels. hope you make more fun videos about the difference between Japan and Canada. haha
I should have at least said hi to you back then haha
Aww you should of said hi!! And yeah my voice totally gets higher when I speak Japanese. I guess since I've only ever heard Japanese girls speaking with higher voices I just try to make it sound as much like them as possible xD Hopefully it doesn't sound too fake and weird >_>;;
+Sharla in Japan I will say hi the next time haha You were speaking Japanese no problems with Japanese accent. You didn't sound weird at all lol To me, you sounded like a girl your age haha
+Sharla in Japan That makes sense. My voice gets lower when I speak English.
+Sharla in Japan My husband pitches his voice differently in Japanese too! He says it was easier to learn more natural sounding pronunciation that way.
Riding a bike here in Belgium is also so normal! At the age of 4 parents start to train their kids to ride a bike :) I really want to go Japan but the poor studentlife is holding me back!
+JemlovesKpop that is how it is in America too! We start out with "training wheels" though!
+JemlovesKpop I'm Belgian too and you're probably from the Flemish side ? Because here in Wallonia we don't ride bikes at all and Flanders is known to be a bike friendly place :D
+pouette_ yes I'm from the Flemish side ^^
Same here in the Netherlands, if I am right, wasn't the bike "hype" in Europe not started in the Netherlands? Could be wrong >.>
+Sakura Drawing Pencil It was initially manufactered in Germany and France. [Wikipedia]
I'm so glad you gals mentioned the mouth-feel of foods! No-one I've met till now has ever really understood that! 💛💛😊
先人の功績を敬う、文化や知恵を受け継いできてくれたことに感謝する。
これは儒教の思想で、日本だけではなくアジア全域に広く伝わっている文化ですね。
確かに、あまり馴染みのない人にとっては少し頑固な風習かもしれません・・・。（笑）
しかし、10:55で言っている様に、お互いを敬う思想を貫いている事が日本人にとっての美学なんです。
ちなみに「親しき仲にも礼儀あり」という有名なことわざがあります。
これは日本に住むなら、必ず知っておくべき言葉でしょう。
I'm Japanese and lived in UK and Australia, and I felt really weird when people like my host families talk to me so friendly!!
I am Japanese junior high school student.
Your English is good！！！
I want learn English.
One tip:
Instead of 'I want learn english' it's actually 'I want to learn English'. to is used to show direction towards something whether it be going somewhere or aiming for something. to is similar to the へ particle.
Or another explanation, you'd say "I wan't to learn English" using 'to learn' instead of just 'learn' because the second verb is always conjugated if you're speaking in the present tense.
Sorry, I love learning and teaching foreign languages, I didn't want to step over you or anything, I just wanted to share. :)
Katie Collins Just making a quick correction, but an apostrophe is used to show possession of or a contraction. Example: Will not = won't. Do not = don't.
It's = it is. However, "its" means the object belong to it. The confusing part about that is the 's is usually used to say something belongs to someone/something. Example: "The cat's mouse toy," will mean that the mouse toy belongs to the cat. I speak the language natively and I don't even understand why our language needs to be so complicated with its rules of grammar. Heck, I even mess it up sometimes.
in France so many people ride their bikes w/o hands
I thought it was normal in other countries ?
Yeah I thought it was kind of odd when they said that... I live in America and I ride bikes with no hands all the time...
Same i'm from England and its not very common here however when im in Germany its bikes everywhere (I'm half German)
I'm from indonesia and i think it's normal here..
In America I see it all the time. But normally people who do it are children or teenagers. But generally someone who rides bikes a lot can do it
i recently saw a video or post about things that are different in Japan and it says that they have "bike parking lots" and i was like "yeah... where else would you put your bike?! There are always loads of bikes in front of public spaces".
But it seems that either Germany (where I live as well) is the country of bicycles or this video has a lot of German viewers. Since half the comments on this posts are about Germany. Interesting.
We have okra in the states. It's not a Japanese only thing. It's really common too, at least in the southeast.
+Trilogy It's a Southeast thing. I never encountered okra in the Northeast.
+peepslostsheep okra is available in the northeast in stores and restaurants
+Trilogy It's strictly a southern thing, though. Usually Fried, too.
Nika Boyce It is now. But it wasn't 5 or so years ago. I grew up in MA, and had never seen it until I moved.
+peepslostsheep perhaps its just that your family doesnt eat it. Ive lived in MA for 20 years and have seen it here all that time. I like it southern style (high calorie) so dont make it that often.
I live in Tennessee and we have similar rules, but we also have a way to mesh them together for those you are close to, but also want to be polite. Generally it's Mr./Ms. last name for proper, and when you get more friendly its Mr./Ms. First name.
As someone whose first language was Japanese, Keigo kind of rubs me the wrong way. It feels as if there's an unbridgeable gap that's created. That doesn't mean that I haven't mastered the use thereof, but I avoid it whenever possible. Also, calling people by their family name in all but the closest relations is irksome. I've compromised a bit on this by calling people by their name, but keeping suffixes like -san and -sensei after their name. It's worked out pretty well.
Another thing that I can never get used to is the "critiquing someone is the same as looking down upon then" mentality that seems to be pervasive in Japan. Even in western cultures, many people can't distinguish between a critique of an idea and an attack on their person, but it's just so much worse in the Japanese workplace. People can't seem to get over the fact that good ideas can come from anyone, even when they're below your station or younger than you. However, in more personal relations, it's not nearly as bad.
Then there's "respect your elders". I suppose this isn't completely a Japanese thing, but it's much more an unquestioningly accepted part of society in Japan than it is in the United States. I give respect where respect is due. Many times, I respect my young elementary and junior-high students for doing things that full grown adults can't seem to manage. Of course, there's times when I meet elderly people that are worth every bit of respect I could pay them. Men like Haruka Nishimatsu, the CEO of Japan Airlines, are the elders I respect.
Oh, and natto. Daizu? Yes. Tofu? Yes. Miso? Yes. But natto?...uh, I'll just do without, thanks...
With bikes in the UK every child learns to ride bikes without holding on to the handlebars. Sort of one of those unofficial compulsory things that everyone learns as a kid.
Same here in the Netherlands
I'm English and I can't even ride a bike (mostly because I don't need to)
+cmdfarsight Yeah when we're about 7 but I don't know if I could still do it today! I'd fall off into a rice field.
+Alice Kirkland I'm also English and I can't even BALANCE on a bike. I literally fall off less than a second after I get on it.
+cmdfarsight ...what?
i like how they're so comfortable they seem like there is no camera there when talking.
NebaNeba would be "mucilaginous" in English.
+Angel Baker Omg, that word makes me want to gag just reading it!
What a perfect description.
+Rachel & Jun I know! It's one of my favorite words because it's so powerful in its description. I'm the same way with those kinds of foods too! That's why I like my okra fried.
+Angel Baker Aw man I just commented this, haha, you beat me whoops! :P
Thanks to this word and wikipedia, I can finally explain why I can't handle ネバネバ: "Mucilage mixed with water is used as a glue, especially for bonding paper items such as labels, postage stamps, and envelope flaps."
I couldn't put my finger on it before, but okra and natto taste exactly like postage stamps/envelope glue to me.
+Angel Baker Ewww.
多分、目上に対して、目上として尊重してるという意味で敬語を使います。ですが、敬語＝距離がある、ではないです。敬語を使いながら仲良くなることもできますし、突っ込んだ話もします。
反対に敬語を使わない上下関係もたまにあります。
Hey, I loved squat toilets, for the same reasons, when I lived in Tokyo for 2 years! My workplace had two stalls, one western and one a "squat" toilet, and I always chose the latter. It's a much healthier position for a woman's body. I still miss them, years after returning to the states.
I also loved the onsen. And it helps women to have a healthier sef-image, when you become used to seeing all the different sizes and shapes ordinary women come in.
What okra? I'm living in South Carolina and I eat okra all the time. Is okra not common around the world?
+trey king Not where I'm from in Canada anyways!
+trey king Someone from Alabama tried to explain okra to me as well, I don't think it's popular in Canada cause I'd never heard about it!
+trey king Not in Portugal, that's all I know
+trey king Well the photo that was showed it was slimy and fresh looking, but I'm pretty sure here in the south we just fry it. I don't like it anyways, but that surprised me too.
+trey king My family ate it a lot in Ohio, but I still couldn't ever eat it with them. :)
Okra is a southern delicacy in America. Fry it up (aka destroy all of the health benefits of eating okra) and it becomes a lot less slimey.
敬語についてです。
私個人の感覚ですが、敬語を使う時レベルが2、３段階あって、標準語（謙譲語、尊敬語など）、丁寧語、方言での敬語（私は地方出身で、今関東に移住しています。）を使い分けてます。広島弁なので、この世界の片隅にを観て頂くとなんとなく雰囲気が伝わると思います。
家族の間で敬語を使うと、よりお互い誠意を向けて話す様になります。そのほうが、より丁寧に生きている感覚があります。
タメ口だとどうしてもポロッと言わなくて良い言葉で傷つけるのが多い気がします。
敬語を使うと、自分の言葉を頭の中で一旦整理して言う様になるので、そういう事が少なくなります。
Can you please do more videos with Rachel?! XD
I love them sooo much!
using your last name imstead of your first name. It's like in Japan you don't even have a first name so people just call you by your last name. I know some will let you call them by their first names but only if they are very close to you. I find this odd cuz in Erics you are addressed by your first name then u get a called a nickname if you are close to that person. it's very backwards which is y Japan is awesome lol
I see it as last name is your family name, which has respect and honor in it and it's respectful to call one their last name until you're given permission to call them their first name, which is their given name, which is informal because they have to put the respect into that name
in the usa's military we go by last name . if people use your first name its seen as kinda weird
Schools, sports, a lot of more 'organized' groups of people will use last names like that too. Find any football coach and he'll probably be yelling out last names at people instead of first.
年配になった夫婦が互いに敬語を使っているのは自分を主張するのではなく、相手をとても尊敬している関係であると私は思います。
きっと日本語で生まれ育った人にしか分からない感覚なのかなと。
外人だからとかの差別や区別ではなく、日本語で思考する感覚であると思います。
私は学者や研究者ではないのでフィーリングで意見を述べました。
でも、この動画を見てこんなに日本を好きでいてくれるお二人に感謝です。
私も敬語を使っている夫婦を見るとなんかいいなと思います
なんかお互いに尊敬し合っている感じで
私もうまく言えませんが雰囲気的に感覚的にそう思います
I am good at riding bicycles and squat toilets! ;-) And... I still use keigo with my husband's family.... (--;) An interesting talk! Thank you〜！
私は今カナダに1年留学に来ています！😄
全く英語が話せない状況で3年前にも1ヶ月カナダに留学に来たのですが、その際は逆に敬語がないことに驚きました笑
カナダに住んでる日本人に、英語での敬語は何なのか、ホームステイ先への連絡をどうしたらいいのか相談した事もありました😂今では、敬語がないからこそ子供から大人までフレンドリーに関わり合えるのでとてもいい文化だと思いますが、目上の人にとても感謝を伝えたい時など、敬語のような丁寧な言葉を示す何かがあればいいのにと思う時はたまにあります😂
きっと、人には迷惑をかけるなと言われて育った日本人の独特の文化なのだと思います。壁を作ると感じるのも確かに理解できますが、日本では目上の人や尊敬している人に敬語を使うというのは、壁を作っている感覚は一切ありません！こう考えだすと難しいですね😂😂
私は日本の敬語の文化も、カナダのフレンドリーな文化もどちらも大好きです😊❤️
私は学校で英語を専攻しているのですが、親しいネイティヴの先生に対して使う英語が失礼でないかとついつい気にしてしまいます笑 これ先生に使ってもいいのかな！？ 失礼じゃない！？ って。私の英語はまだまだなので、自分がその先生に対して英語の丁寧な表現を使えているか気にしてしまうのです。この動画を見て、少し相手の先生が感じていたかもしれない感覚がわかった気がします^ ^
At least in the USA. It's less about the words you say(unless you are swearing), it's more about how you say it with inflection. When you want to seem humble/grateful...you speak softer. If you want to appear rude, you are short with your words, or sound "sassy".
GIRL I worked in America with a bunch of Japanese people and I had an older co-worker that would joke around a lot and make snarky jokes, so I felt as if we had become close! So one day I called her "Kazue-chan" jokingly instead of san like I usually did and she was like "nani ga kazue-chan!?? Kazue-san da yo!" and I think she was joking, but UGHHH I hate being formal after getting to know people! It feels so fake.
+Arah Gray Lols true story.
Interesting that Rachel finds keigo so difficult since she served in the Air Force. Maybe the Air Force is more relaxed then the other branches.
This really helped to understand why people think I’m cold and distant. Never occurred to me to use informal speech when at work, especially with a superior. I just can’t do it, even the thought of it is difficult.
I loved the story about the older couples using keigo, that is so sweet and romantic.
僕は日本人だけど、和式トイレが使えないし、使ったこともないです笑
Though I'm Japanese, I can't use squat toilet and have NEVER used it.
わたしがアメリカでホームステイしたときは目上の人を名前で呼ぶ事にすごく抵抗がありました。毎回心の中で名前のあとに"さん"をつけてました(笑)
目上じゃないけど、小4から3年間日本の学校に通って、フィリピンに帰ってスクールメートに下の名前で呼ばれてなぜかドキっとしてたww 日本じゃよっぽど仲良くないと下の名前で呼ばないですしね。
アメリカでホームステイした時、
アメリカ人は名前で呼ぶらしいと理解してすんなり受け入れたけど、
日本人同士だと、どうしても名前を呼び捨てするのが抵抗あって、英語で会話してても、
◯◯子-san、◯◯男-kunて付けずに居られなかったわ〜。
i love the bit about keigo and the old couples use of it! i think thats cute too.
`I grew up in Japan until 20 and I moved to LA, California. When I was 16, I thought about what you guys saying about "keigo". I actually hated it. I felt I create distance by using "keigo" So, I usually mix with casual expressions and "keigo. You have to have good senses how you mix them, but that is basically how Japanese speak I think. I still live in the US, it has been 23 years now. I still think that you can mix casual and keigo in a good way when you talk to elders and superiors. As long as you do good, it is very acceptable I think.
敬語は、使いたくない人は使わなくていいと思う。特に文化の違う外国の人が敬語使わなくても失礼だとか感じないし。
敬語は目上の人に使うだけのものって思ってるかもしれないけど、少し違う。
親しいなかでも、本当に相手のことを尊敬してありがたいなって思ったりすると、自然と敬語ってでてくるものなんだよね。
「敬う」とか「尊ぶ」とかの意味を理解できれば、あまり変だと思わないんじゃないかな？
あと、日本人が敬語使えないと、ちゃんとした教育を受けていないように見える。
その通りです、「UYAMAU‐KOTOBA」として理解してほしいですね。なかなか難しい話ですがｗ
敬語 is still one of the things im most conflicted about while being here on exchange. I go to an all girls high school and i speak totally informal with everyone there and i guess they dont mind but i also have some senpais im friends with and i always slip into the informal style even though i want to be really formal to them. Its just that at my school relationships between senpais and kohais are more polite and distanced then with teachers. But i met two senpais who went on exchange in western countries for one year before and just came back and they are so friendly to me. One even hugs me all the time (ive never received a hug in japan before so i was really shocked the first time) and i really cant get used to it omg. Its just so difficult if youre from a western culture.
born and raised in Japan, have been living in Canada for 10yrs, I kinda do feel the opposite of how you feel there. When young kid 18、19 talk to me like, hey buddy, casual like that, makes me feel like I ain't your buddy kid. I felt that some of these people have no respect or manner. But I know this comes from different culture.
I'm the same with squat toilets, Sharla haha.
+Strawberry Mochi I'm glad it's not just me, I was starting to worry xD;;
Me three ~__~
I have been binge watching your videos and Rachel's videos and I laughed so hard when she talks about make a tutorial video for japanese toilets because she and Jun just did it xD Life is a funny thing hahaha
when I moved to Finland, it took a long time to get used to call my professors by their first name. I could never imagine in Germany to call my teacher by their first name, or not use any title they have. In the hospital I work / practice at, we even call all the doctors by their first name. It's just so normal in Finland, but I still am weirded out by this D:
+miikaelas exactly! When they talk about how this formal language is strange ( ok well Japan is a bit stronger in terms of politness/formal language ) i actually am weirded out by the "you" in english. xD Just to give a strong example. I love the "Sie" in the german language xD
今イギリスに留学中なのですがホストファミリーに丁寧な言葉を使うか砕けて話すかいつも迷います、、、
あと、日本の学校でのネイティヴの先生に対してはMs, Mr,プラス名字で呼ぶのが当たり前だったけどこっちの先生に対しては名前で呼び捨てで普通なのがなんかいまだになれません、、笑
+mirry horan 私も年上のアメリカの友人をファーストネームで呼んでいいものかどうか、呼ぶと決めてもいつ切り換えるか、悩みました。今でも非北米出身の人と英語で話す時は悩みます。
+mirry horan +Yoshikazu Hayashi
Mr, Ms, Mrsなどの使用を簡単に分けるとこうなる：
1. 商売や会社などの客、軍隊など組織としての関係は基本的に付ける。
（だが会社AのAさんが会社BのBさんに何回も関わりがある場合付けなくなり、名前で呼ぶ事が多い）
2. それ以外の関係は付けない。
これで大体大丈夫。Mr.などを付けると嫌な距離を感じたり冷たい人だと思われるのが基本的だから「組織Aの何々さん」って言う関係じゃない限り大体の場合名前で呼ぶほうが良い。
I'm from Japan and I've been living in Australia for about 3 years. I really like here because ppl talk to me casually and friendly. I feel closer to them :) Though I was surprised when I was hugged by a customer where I used to work in a Japanese restaurant, friendly culture is nice.
Though I've never used formal language "keigo" orally to my family members, sometimes when I write to them, I use Keigo.
what's funny is that I'm still not used to how formal we are in the US sometimes!! I'm Dominican and we always call EVERYONE by their first name. Teachers, friends' parents, the President, whatever. So when I came to the US I struggled. I got used to calling my teachers by their last name kinda, but with my friends' parents I always struggled and basically would just avoid calling them anything. I think I would not be able to handle it in Japan. Like at all. lol