Ari Shaffir - Tattletale - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- When an old classmate asks Ari Shaffir for a favor, he thinks back to how she treated him in high school before answering.
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I’ve literally been watching these for 8hrs today
Random same 😂
It’s like a full time job at this point
Fax
Same and I have work in 20 mins
Same
"Calm down, it's not a Catholic school." That shit got me man lol
At least catholics dont bite the foreskin off their babies.
Declan Bergin sick burn.
Still odd to make a child kneel before a grown man. Regardless of which book they read
lol dude amazing
Ari's getting really really good lately. I've been a fan for years and this is the funniest I've seen him.
It's great to a see a comic you really enjoy just crushing it.
Lol he lost some fans since then
@@stevenobrien557None of those were real fans you dork, and since you made your comment Ari released one of the best specials ever.
Kobe!
damn it! He mentioned his twitter followers, so i immediately went to check how many, and subsequently followed him.
then it hit me.. that was just him promoting his twitter.
You win
How did you not see that coming? I mean he mentioned that he's a jew at least 50 times.
Damn bro you're very easily influenced lmao I hope within the last 4 years you tightened up and worked that issue out
This has been the best past year for reading old TH-cam comments
yep. _100%_ true dude
Yes. Yes. Let the hate flow through you. Someone said something about someone you like..... Yessssss hate is the source of my life force. Feeeed me
“It’s not a catholic school”
i thought he said Bittney Spears at first lol
I really like these stories.
okay Ari. youve been gone long enough,..you can come back now.
I like the Aphex Twin-esque intro.
all the intros are like HBO movie series quality. Gotta love it!
fuck yes I was looking for this comment
Ari is without a doubt in my top 5 favorite comedians.
The tradition joke was great , I can’t believe they didn’t think it was funny . Lmao 😂 wrong crowd I guess, buncha softies
The silent hand gesture hahaha
F yeah ive been for three weeks cut out music and. I smile now
Fucks yea! A new comedian just got bumped up to my top 5 comedy legends
+Don Figga type in amazing racist on TH-cam search and you would blow off your head when you see the results
So who got bumped down?
I watch theese every night
Man I remember that teacher who everyone fucked with. I feel so bad for him now that I'm older, guy got so much shit for no reason at all.
Ch0plol some of those teachers were just cock suckers who brought it upon themselves lol
Great comedian not afraid that koby stuff made me look him up where do I buy tickets
I was surprised when i seen this guy was still alive - He used to go by the name "The Amazing Racist" and the things this guy did was unbelievable- I'm just surprised he never got shot
Masser Phi those were skits for a comedy show, they are all actors
Masser Phi Oh shit, I was like he looks familiar I didn't remember it was him, The one where he takes his KKK uniform to a black owned dry cleaners was hillarious
Ari Shaffir well on his way to being one of the best!!!
fucking love This Is Not Happening.
At least someone else introduced him this time.
Ari is the best host
I love how he is explaining all this on his knee's
He's not. Fuck're u on?
@@crussteasock4047 Syrup, painkillers, cigarette, weed, Hennessy, vodka
I'm on everything
@@crussteasock4047 I'm surprised you even found my comment with no likes and 2 years ago.. you must be a super fan of mine.. thank you so much
@@crussteasock4047 lol wow are you being serious I checked out the video because obviously I forgot why I wrote that comment and sure enough he starts a joke on his knees and then starts rambling on.. so the fact you couldn't tell I was talking about that and not the entire video shows 1 of 2 things
1. You did not watch the video.
Or
2. You are a Sped.
@@ItzHarley but he wasnt on his knees the whole time. "...he explained all this on his knees" is what u said, knobhead
Ari the true American Sniper
I fucking love Ari
Hahaha epic ending, loved it
I had something similar in 4th grade involving one metal leg from a scissors, a glue stick, and paper airplane. Also in 6th grade with a small, concealable nerf gun and a dart that mysteriouslu struck the board
I think Ari has been lying about that shit for so long he believes it. He did that shit on purpose. LOL
haha. its not a catholic school....hilarious.
Ari for president
The intros are usually 5 star nightmare material
Giga Chad move at the end
We had a Mr. Sager as well and that was his name
Three cheers for sweet revenge.
The INTRO...Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy
That guy in the middle with the messed up teeth is always on the shows, he must like them a lot
Thank for the stories Ari. The show is cool as fuck. Let's just hope comedy central don't fuck it up.
I got him confused with the sklar brothers
3:35 the knights who say knee
Knights?
@@crussteasock4047 monty python
Digging the aphex twin reference
I fucking miss Ari
i love this series, but the intro on this episode.... aphex / chris cunningham much?
Apart from the shockingly crap music
Bernice weigert
Great story but shitty censoring on a fucking TH-cam video.
It wouldnt be right for him to say the person's actual name so trolls can ruin their life.
Sean Thompson he wasn't saying her name. I think he was saying "pussy cunt" or something.
Ari, ur too much; be.. Protestant, be ... Mormon, well No Don't be Mormons. i did cringe when i heard you say Mormon, Naw Bro!
Uncensored my ass
Well they don't want the girls name to be out there for everyone
as in cussing, as opposed to privacy.
I didn't realize he was saying her name in it. I thought he was just calling her a curse word
Hermann TheGerman Ya, it says hide your mom is in extremely mature humor, and stuff you won't want your mom to hear.
Darin Black you're an idiot
whats with all the christian hate lately
***** He's trying to be funny and failing. I know he wants to have a reputation for being un-PC and making comments that piss people off, but his anti-Catholic stuff is not not accurate, original or creative... and it doesn't get laughs.
Uhm? Might be all thr child rape? Sorry, I meant gay child rape.
If it isnt that.. it could also be thr arguing against condoms in aids infested areas?
sparklemotion101 It’s not much compared to the mass genocide in your bible
This joke in particular was for catholics more than other christianity
Mr. Rachow, 7th grade math teacher 😂💀
3:36
Why would you title this "Uncensored"?
Whats bleeped out and whats on twitter please?
Im not social media... just wondered if ill need twitter to understand his bit here. thanks anyone
Now I really want to know what that hebrew curse at 9:05 translates to.
Yikes
How dare you try to teach children😂😂😂😂😂
Vengeance at its finest 👌🏼
Funny Story; Enjoy Australia Ari:)
Yessssss Jesus Clubssssss
How old is Ari? We used to pull that stuff on teachers all the time and barely ever got in shit.
41
He forgot about Metzitzah B’peh
Honestly though my ass is so petty like i would have asked that girl for a link to the voting thing and straight up used my influence to make one of the other people win
can someone please tell me the name of the intro track ?:]
Ok so is the name "Bernice Weiner"? That's my lip reading.
Quite a lot of negative comments for a video specifically made for people with a sense of humor... It’s sad when you watch a stand up comedy video but the comments are the biggest joke lmao
What’s a half day suspension?
Exactly the same things at a Catholic school man, skirts..to rubber bands stuff
Her name is Bernice Weigert... I guess googled the closest name sounding like ‘Bernice Wai-Gurt’ and I saw his tweet, was rather proud of my lip reading skills 😂
You are a SOLDIER
her facebook post still exists too lol
Tech Time thank you detective
Tech Time I thought he was saying Brittany Swanson lol
I thought he said Hugh Janus
I thought he said Steve
"Uncensored"
*Censors the girls name hundreds of times*
😂😂😂😂😂
Nick Corso they’re not tryna get sued
Came here to say that lol
@@dionysusfall2738 man everyone gets sued who the fuck cares anymore
@@dionysusfall2738 Isn't that ALWAYS the case when someone censores it's own contents?!
Peter Müller no, sometimes it’s just for monetary reasons (like censoring curse words for advertisers)
"Be Morm- Don't be Mormon, obviously."
I'm a Mormon, and this made me laugh.
Oh yeah, definitely don't be Mormon
@Forrest Robles most mormons are nice until you diss their beliefs, in my experience
I love Ari so much sad how everyone hates him now because he didn't fully think through dosing his friend but I'm not even mad at him for that i think it was cool and everyone was being soo extra yeah it could of maybbee killed him but he wasn't thinking like that he was thinking amazing ass time he will appreciate life more and he did mission success in my book good man Ari good man
woot ARI!!!! i love him
Don’t worry, It’s a Jewish school, not a Catholic school...Friggin hilarious!
Isn't this supposed to be uncensored? :O
You can't really put someone on blast like that.
*****
So wait? You both went to the same high school?
***** nice try haha
***** All Jewish school my ass!
***** Garm Campoli That is totally fine then, sorry I misunderstood the bleepings! Love the stand up btw!
That's a level of pettiness that I struggle with daily trying to control.
That's sad
Same here. As long as you don't let it overcome you, you'll be fine.
Ari is one funny SOB, he really stepped up his game in the last few years.
@Brownbeartmb comprehension is key
@@guard509 joke
Brownbeartmb not much of a sense of humour for a fan of comedy 🤨
for real dude. totally right
Hey, Tristan Stiles.. You tattled on me in 5th grade & I didn't get recess that day. Lmao.
#Nevarforget
Jaseeka Rawr daaaaaaaaamn
Keisha Martin sucker punched me in the face when I was a freshman in high school. 15yrs later she friend requests me on Facebook. . Still looking like Mike Tyson
Never not nevar
That's nothing. Billy Ledlow stole a whole bag of piries that my crush had just given me right out of my coat pocket, and to this day I would still cheerfully punch the smirk off his face. It happened in third grade--in 1971.
Matthew White threw an english book at my face in 7th grade, so I punched him and got called away from my lunch and got detention for defending myself.
We had a teacher who was really proud he was getting his doctorate. Being middle school kids from lower middle class families we had no idea what that meant; we thought he was studying to be a doctor. So we said cool. You're gonna be a doctor - what kind. He replied, condescension dripping off him, NO, not a doctor, a doctorate. And that was the moment. We spent the time till he quit calling him doctor sarcastically. He didn't last long. Thinking back now, we were awful. And to get your PhD while working... Respect. Still...he was a condescending prick. So.
I’ve been watching ari the whole day on my acid trip. He’s my jewish icon now
Jesse lol go outdoors. Ari is amazing but you need to be in nature
did you at least hang out with nature bro? i cant enjoy a trip without hanging out with my favorite tree and giving it a hug
What a waste of acid
2019 binging Ari, Joey Diaz and Joe Rohan you fall down a hole lol I can’t get enough of these guys!! 💓
Brooklyn Schoor 3 at a time, as usual for you!
Nathan Dufresne 💁🏼 how would you know ?
Brooklyn Schoor dang, shots being fired!
Who’s your favorite?
Kyler Michael I think Joe because he has this awesome podcast that I can’t get enough of but when I do found stuff from Ari I obsess, he just doesn’t have enough material out there.
Intro is vaguely Aphex Twin's "Come to Daddy"
Holy shit, I had a history teacher named Mr. Sager, but he was that one teacher everyone liked. Guy was wierd as all shit, bit of a hipster, but pretty cool.
Christopher Cano OK THANK
Same here. English\history
My Sager also just got fucked with, he taught health and for sex question friday (don't ask me why the fuck that was a thing in middle school health) we asked the wackest shit. My girlfriend at the time deadass asked him "so how does anal feel good"
Replace the beeps with Bernice Weigert and you'll be fine. Not a joke. There was a point when one of the videos of this had kept her name in.
Ok, but who cares? Its a stranger
Loved the jab at catholicism.
(I'm Catholic...but its still funny)
***** lol. What?
Larry Jarrins who cares
Not gonna abandon my beliefs. And no one cares. Just wanted to say my opinion
Larry Jarrins
Ahh, bummer.
Dylan Brannon Just wished he didn't drag out the joke until only two people were laughing out of obligation.
How in the world do you feel obligated to take a stranger somewhere vs your best friend? How weird. 😂 Its a hell no for me!
I thought it was UNCENSORED...
haha nicee
Guess they cut that out on TV...Like one time I was at an Army-Navy football game, and they did a halftime dedication to Ronald Reagan's 100th birthday. They talked about how crappy Obama is doing, so I figured that's why it was hidden from home watchers. I know they cut it out because my family was watching from home.
they are censoring a name.
Julius Sprouse
so its CENSORED then!
No... "censoring" is referenced to the removal of un-PC words n' that.
Taking out the name of an non-fictional person has to do with a much greater law of CIVIL LIBERTIES and protecting the person talking from a very viable lawsuit for defamation of character.
There is a huge difference. this is not censored.
if you don’t do drugs you CANNOT be a good comedian
This teacher actually quit in elementary school lmao. Not my class but one of the classes would clown so hard on him. I was actually nice to himm tho. Lmao he was a good teacher tbh
Joe Rogan brought me here!
"I was watching legalization videos yeah it's just a plant "
This is the next level of petty right here and I love it
This is one of his very few clips where he doesn't mention drugs at all.
Miss gardener. Biology teacher. All the kids laughed and cheered when she fell down the stairs and broke her arm. It was actually pretty dark
This one was pretty damn funny, I think one of the funniest one along with ralphie's gay wedding
Don't think Ari knows his own religion. Check out the Talmud, Ari. Some hot takes on sex with children in there. Oh yeah...non-violent. Hanukkah LITERALLY a celebration of battle.
the name censor made me laugh hard cause if im not mistaken in the first season of this Ari talked about losing his virginity and at first the name was not censored onl youtube and magically one day it was i assume somthing really shitty happend.
Rocking some knees at 13. Dude is so funny. Its not a Catholic school, its a Jewish school. Had me rolling. Was fun to watch. Great video
Ari: " After many long years....finally: *Vengeance* "
I love you Ari! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
Is there any way to hear the real version??
Imagine he was still bitter after 22 years 😂
I love Ari's raw ruthless style! 23 years too late, lol.
Nice Aphex Twin intro ;)
it's not actually aphex twin it's just that the intro is similar to aphex twins video for 'come to daddy'
+Jakob Johnson The track is "Run The Jewels" by Run the Jewels.
anyone read lips?
How'd he do that thing with his voice everytime he said her name? That was pretty fuckin awesome, why is no one talking about that?
at the catholic school, if our skirts were too short, the staff would literally PULL it down themselves 😐🏃🏽♂️
Why were u wearing em so short though?
Cruss Teasock we weren't? when we would walk, the skirts would ride up and the (mostly male) staff would literally touch them and pull them down.
you shouldn't be questioning the length of our skirts, but instead question why ADULTS were touching KIDS 😐
@@fionagallagherapologist5968 I question both. Lol. They're creepy for doing that, n im sure u could wear pants or something underneath. Also, whyd u ask me if u weren't?
Cruss Teasock no we couldn't wear pants. we had long songs a skirt and a shirt. you shouldn't be questioning both sides if one of the sides are all underage girls. also i wasn't questioning you 😐
@@fionagallagherapologist5968 why can't i question both sides? N u did ask me. "We weren't?"