To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining. For more videos click the JOIN button.
Still midway through the video, but “I’ve never breathed freely ever since” is so painfully relatable. From a fellow bi man, sending love and appreciation for what you’re doing. You’re making it easier for the rest of us to breath.
Oh man, thank you so much. You have no idea how it feels to hear you say that. I got a shiver. Thank you. I am breathing that little bit lighter today from reading this, thank you. You deserve the world. Sending so much love. X If you can share this or any of my other videos I would be thrilled to get it out to those who need to hear it. Otherwise, I'm just so happy you're hear. xx
I was 11 when I had my first crush on a boy in my class. I didn't understand what it was. All I knew was that I thought he was cute and I couldn't breathe when I was around him. But then I got a little older, the hormones kicked in and then it was 'girls, girls, girls.' I had to keep my feelings for guys locked away in the back of my mind because I was terrified to think I could be gay. And I lived half a life until I was in my 20's and fell head over heels for a guy who seemed to feel the same about me. It was confusing but I can still remember the exact moment I told myself that I was attracted him and he liked me too and that it was okay. Something inside felt like it had been set free. My journey to come to terms with my bisexuality took a lot longer to sort out but years later I'm out, I'm happy and I've found my perfect person to spend my life with and I wish everyone else the same.
Oh my gosh thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. I'm so thrilled to have you share in the comments so that we can all connect and relate. So happy for you my friend. You deserve all the happiness in the world... ...and happiness has no gender! :-)
Hey thank you so much for saying. If you haven't already, check out my videos on HOCD and subscribe as I have another one coming out in the next couple of weeks. Really appreciate the comment thank you so much. Take it easy ok. HOCD is rough. You're not alone in it, ok? We're here for you.
Thanks for sharing your story, your openess and willingness to support others is so wonderful and life changing. I felt the sadness when you referred to your panic at your first attraction to a boy, heartbreaking ❤
Hi. I have just found your channel and by minute 6 of this video I’m in tears. Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing your story. I’m in my late 50s and just discovering that I’m bi-romantic and on the ace spectrum, mostly because of videos like yours. Compulsory heterosexuality is so so real. I don’t think I heard the word lesbian until I was in my late 20s early 30s. Coming to a realisation so late in life about my sexuality is actual so much easier in this current climate and my heart aches for you and all you went through and knowing that even now your stomach clenches. Sending much love and support, you are doing an amazing thing here. I shall follow this whole series and I’m now subscribed. Thank you from my heart.🩷💜💙
Wow this was so touching. I’m so glad you are here and want to welcome you to our community. You are right where you need to be when you need to be. You are wonderful and I’m thrilled to see you discovering yourself more deeply. This is completely natural and valid. Big thanks 🩷🌈
I love Chapter 2 of your story! Thanks so much for sharing! Your words connect with me and my journey so much. I’ve felt so many similar emotions. As you mentioned, you were “Absolutely, soul crushingly, petrified”,…and so was I. 💖💜💙
Hey thank you so much for your comment. I'm so glad there are people like us sharing our stories. It's so needed and I'm proud of you and our community. I'm so sorry that you had to feel that terror. It's the most horrifying thing and so often we have no one to go to. Now people do have places to go. Like my channel and yours. Big big love and thanks for being part of our community and speaking your truth. I'm going to shout you out at some point because people need to hear your story too. Because you're fab. Sending love, Mark x
(Kuldeep, 19yo, bisexual/ fluid man from India) In my teens, I never felt bothered by my sexuality. Everything was alright. However, I always knew that I wasn't like my straight friends as I have had attractions towards men. In addition to that I was also drawn towards women. I use to supress my sexual attractions towards women. Why? Coz I was conditioned to believe that 'real men are not sexually attracted towards women'. This resulted in me only focusing on understanding my attractions to men which lead me into thinking that I might be gay. I was exclusively focused on other aspects of my life so dating, sex, relationships and my sexuality were barely a priority. Fast forward to 18yo me who came across this amazing platform where I got to learn so much about sexuality, gender identity, self expression, modern masculinity etc. It took me a month to eventually figure out my sexuality and after that I started allowing myself to feel what I was otherwise suppressing over the course of my teens. I still get that feeling of being alienated among cis-hetero people. However, being well informed and educated about this concept of sexuality from your platform has been so so so incredibly helpful. Looking forward to next part. Cheers.
Thank you so much my brother for sharing your story. I know that others will read it and gain strength. I'm so proud of you it hurts. Sending so much love to you my friend. You're changing the world. x
Oh my gosh well that is probably just the best comment I've had. My job here is done. Thank you for sharing these beautiful words. You are loved. Genuinely. You belong and are so welcome. Tell us more about you - if you're comfortable. My story is only one. I want to make a space where we can all share. Sending so much love your way, Mark x
Thank you for saying. I appreciate you so much. If you can ever share anything so that others can hear it, I would be thrilled. Otherwise I'm just so happy that you're here. My heart is lifted every time someone says they relate. Never at that time did I imagine I would be sharing my story and meeting others from all over the world like me. I wouldn't have believed you. All my love to you my friend x
I've never seen anything like this in my life, and I'm 53. Maximum respect given. I mean...just wow. I was "lucky" (I guess) that I didn't even start to feel attracted to guys until I was in my 20s. You tell your story so well. I got emotional, for real. Incredible cliff-hanger at the end. TTYL,. I'm going to go watch the next part.
Hello Mark.. Thank you for telling your story. I'm sure its painful to bring all this up. . Now, if I remember correctly, you grew up in the '90's (correct me if I am wrong) so there was still a lot of hatred for anyone who was different. . I have a couple of questions tho. Not trying to get too personal, but did you grow up in a small town or village? I found that there was less tolerance in small communities. . And I am so sorry you had such a difficult time mentally . . My story is very different. I grew up in San Francisco, California USA. So I was in a large city. Which had a strong gay and lesbian community. Even tho I was not part of it, as I was a teenager, I never felt shame or a uncomfortableness with liking men and women. I was perfectly OK with who I was. So when I hear stories like yours, where you had such a hard time with your sexuality, and how you prayed for it not to be true, and had such dread, I feel bad for you. And it makes me feel bad for the youth of today. I sure hope they don't go through that any longer, but I know a lot of young men and women still do. . Now I live in Colorado Springs Colorado, USA. There was a huge christian population here in the 1990's. And they preached against anything gay or lesbian. I have a big Chevy Truck, and I had a rainbow sticker on it. Because I wanted the teenagers of that time to know there was life, and a good life if they were not straight. I got notes left on the truck all the time. Telling me I needed to amend my evil ways, and that I needed to find Jesus. Of course none of the notes had a name or phone number on them, or I would have confronted the people. But I would laugh. Now, many of the christians have left this city, and its more of a normal city. So I don't feel the need to stand up for the youth here. But I still will if needed. I feel its my duty to support people who are like you, and help them see that they are OK and normal. . I have learned so much since I found you. I look forward to seeing your videos. I feel like I know you, tho you don't know me at all, since I don't have any videos out there. And I wish I could get a cup of coffee with you, and talk to you about these issues. . Take care of yourself. You are a amazing man, and I send you love, hugs and peace. --Steven
Ah thank you so much Steven my friend. Your comments always touch my heart and I love to hear about your amazing experience. I'm struck by what you said. You said there were a lot of Christian homophobes around. They tried to intimidate you and were routinely ignored as you stood firm in your visible pride and love for who you are. Then they left and aren't so much around anymore... Funny that isn't it? You were part of their evil being stamped out. You were part of our community prevailing. Thank you. All those times you stood firm and didn't let them win, that was PRIDE. I was moved around a bit so that made it really hard. I was born in England near London which was OK, London was close but then I moved to Scotland and there was no community. Even though I was near Glasgow (a big city) it was very far behind. It's much better now but I struggled a lot. I also grew up in a very conservative strict evangelist Christian household. It was tough. Things in the UK were rough in the 90s and early 2000s. They are much better now. But I hate to see what's happening in the US with all the new laws it's horrendous. I feel I know you too. We do know each other. The online space isn't less real than the non-online space. For LGBT people (especially those who are less recognised even within the community) online spaces are where we connect, gain strength and share experiences. So I love it. I'm launching a Patron group soon where we can have a tight knit community and have chats and coffee Zooms and stuff like that. I'd love for you to be on board with us. I think you would have so much to contribute. Anyway. Until then, I wish you a wonderful day. Thanks for being a strong role model for us all. Mark x
@@notdefining Hello Mark! I always look forward to your messages! I'd love to be part of the Patron group. So when its up and running, I will be a part of it. . I am sorry you grew up in a conservative Christian family. I was lucky. My parents shunned religion. And I grew up feeling it serves no purpose. I still see it that way. But that would explain a lot of your internal struggle. I do hope your family has softened on the views of the church. And I hope you have a good relationship with your siblings and your parents. I was close to my father. He and I saw eye to eye on a lot of the world. My mother loved me, but never liked me. So I was never close to her. But when she was dying of cancer, I stopped everything and went to California and took care of her with my sister. So I have no regrets. . I think because I have a strong personality, I never allowed the strong Christian influence here to bother me. When they say to me "You are going to hell if you don't change your ways" (which they still say to me) I say back to them "Good! All my friends will be there!" they have no reply to that. LOL. . I will tell you this again. You are a amazing man. You are helping a lot of people understand who they are. And I am so glad that I found you. Thank you for your videos, Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for helping all of us understand more of who we are. -- Steven
@@sundancercolorado7087 Thank you Steven. I'm so enriched to have your experiences written on this channel. Mine is only one and the more we can all share, then the more we can relate to others. So thank you. We have different experiences and the same. That's the beauty of it. We can all learn things from each other and grow. I have a good relationship with my family. They're ok. My Dad still has very hostile views and it's hard to navigate when it's the person you love, your caregiver saying they love you but also actively supporting those who deeply harm you. This is what a lot of kids from religious families have to deal with. You get taught a version of love which is confusing. I realised though that I love myself and don't NEED my Dad to approve or even love me. He loves me in his own way and his hostility is something for him. I have no need to engage with it. I know God. Not in a dogmatic religious way, but I know God. God is the highest form of love that you believe within yourself to the exclusion of all earthly or manmade opinions. God loves me loads. So I'm good! Haha Keep doing what you're doing Steven and being a shining example to us all. Sending loads of love x
Thank you very much for this video, we have had such similar experiences and feelings, thank you for being here and your videos. You’re helping out so much ❤ I am sending you love. Thank you for being so beautiful :)
Woah. Can almost relate completely to this experience. Certainly I was starting to question about what I am when the last 2 crushes I had with women did not grow more than just a crush/platonic friendship. I really had been confused for a really long time about my sexuality. Specifically my sexual orientation. Ive realized that my sex orientation is really complexed. Very recently, I acknowledged and accept the fact that I am not 90% or even 99.9% straight-heterosexual. For quite sometime, I identified my orientation as Bicurious or Questioning type. But overtime I became more certain that I am Bisexual.
Thank you so very much for sharing your experience. I can relate completely to this video. I am sure that you are helping a lot of people (me included). Thanks 💙
I'm sharing my most intimate content on patreon.com/notdefining. Check it out if you'd like to support or receive coaching support. Much love and thanks again x
AH MY FRIEND! Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, I'm so grateful to have you here and thanks for watching. This has made my day. Sending so much love to you x
@@notdefining I didn't say that in my first comment, your video is very important. I'm 31, when I was younger I thought the same thing as you. Bi men were invisible, I didn't know it was possible to be bisexual, now my friends and family know. 😉
I Know this is None of my business but at 11:25 You mentioned that you've had (some kind of physical interactions) with a girlfriend What exactly did y'all do , Were you able to maintain an erection ? When I was younger I used to be able to be with females in that way. But as time goes on I found myself having to think more and more about guys in order to keep it up.
Sure that’s okay to ask. I guess you could say we did “everything!” That’s the politest I can put it. Incidentally I did experience erectile dysfunction with one girlfriend and thought it was a disaster then the next girl I had sex with I experienced it again but actually she was really nice and patient and encouraged me and was really turned on and into it so she kind of didn’t get discouraged. So after a short moment I was able to have sex and it was really good. After that I never experienced it again. Not even a tiny bit. So I think it was perhaps more about general performance anxiety more than anything else. I used to have this feeling that I had to make the girl feel amazing and really pleasure her and be very gentle and make sure she was okay and all of that. So I kind of over did it and the buzz was kind of lost. But when I was with this girl who was a lot more sexually charged and confident, I realised I could be a bit more instinctual and just go with the energy. Be a bit more firm and masculine I guess. And women really want that a lot of the time. So I learned. But yeah. That was my experience. How about you?
@Notdefining Thanks for sharing , I experienced ED also , I had gotten a motel room and everything , it was very embarrassing , we just ended up falling to sleep for a while and went home . That was over 20 yrs ago and I haven't been with a female since , I have never has that problem with guys
Hey thanks for your kind words. You may absolutely write to me on here. I try to answer all comments. The other way to write is to do so on Patreon.com/notdefining. There you can write in to me and receive dedicated answers and even coaching as well. I would love to see you there or we can chat here too. Sending much love to you and thanks again. I’m glad you’re here with us.
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To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.
Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining.
For more videos click the JOIN button.
Still midway through the video, but “I’ve never breathed freely ever since” is so painfully relatable. From a fellow bi man, sending love and appreciation for what you’re doing. You’re making it easier for the rest of us to breath.
Oh man, thank you so much. You have no idea how it feels to hear you say that. I got a shiver. Thank you. I am breathing that little bit lighter today from reading this, thank you. You deserve the world. Sending so much love. X
If you can share this or any of my other videos I would be thrilled to get it out to those who need to hear it. Otherwise, I'm just so happy you're hear.
xx
I was 11 when I had my first crush on a boy in my class. I didn't understand what it was. All I knew was that I thought he was cute and I couldn't breathe when I was around him. But then I got a little older, the hormones kicked in and then it was 'girls, girls, girls.' I had to keep my feelings for guys locked away in the back of my mind because I was terrified to think I could be gay. And I lived half a life until I was in my 20's and fell head over heels for a guy who seemed to feel the same about me. It was confusing but I can still remember the exact moment I told myself that I was attracted him and he liked me too and that it was okay. Something inside felt like it had been set free. My journey to come to terms with my bisexuality took a lot longer to sort out but years later I'm out, I'm happy and I've found my perfect person to spend my life with and I wish everyone else the same.
Oh my gosh thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. I'm so thrilled to have you share in the comments so that we can all connect and relate. So happy for you my friend. You deserve all the happiness in the world...
...and happiness has no gender! :-)
My first moment of being magnetically pulled into someone of the male sex was when I was 6
As someone suffering from hocd, this video is a great exposure! Wishing you all the best!
Hey thank you so much for saying. If you haven't already, check out my videos on HOCD and subscribe as I have another one coming out in the next couple of weeks. Really appreciate the comment thank you so much. Take it easy ok. HOCD is rough. You're not alone in it, ok? We're here for you.
I agree great exposure
Thanks for sharing your story, your openess and willingness to support others is so wonderful and life changing. I felt the sadness when you referred to your panic at your first attraction to a boy, heartbreaking ❤
Hey thank you. This is a beautiful comment.
Hi. I have just found your channel and by minute 6 of this video I’m in tears. Thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing your story. I’m in my late 50s and just discovering that I’m bi-romantic and on the ace spectrum, mostly because of videos like yours. Compulsory heterosexuality is so so real. I don’t think I heard the word lesbian until I was in my late 20s early 30s. Coming to a realisation so late in life about my sexuality is actual so much easier in this current climate and my heart aches for you and all you went through and knowing that even now your stomach clenches. Sending much love and support, you are doing an amazing thing here. I shall follow this whole series and I’m now subscribed. Thank you from my heart.🩷💜💙
Wow this was so touching. I’m so glad you are here and want to welcome you to our community. You are right where you need to be when you need to be. You are wonderful and I’m thrilled to see you discovering yourself more deeply. This is completely natural and valid. Big thanks 🩷🌈
I love Chapter 2 of your story! Thanks so much for sharing! Your words connect with me and my journey so much. I’ve felt so many similar emotions. As you mentioned, you were “Absolutely, soul crushingly, petrified”,…and so was I. 💖💜💙
Hey thank you so much for your comment. I'm so glad there are people like us sharing our stories. It's so needed and I'm proud of you and our community.
I'm so sorry that you had to feel that terror. It's the most horrifying thing and so often we have no one to go to.
Now people do have places to go. Like my channel and yours. Big big love and thanks for being part of our community and speaking your truth.
I'm going to shout you out at some point because people need to hear your story too. Because you're fab. Sending love, Mark x
(Kuldeep, 19yo, bisexual/ fluid man from India)
In my teens, I never felt bothered by my sexuality. Everything was alright. However, I always knew that I wasn't like my straight friends as I have had attractions towards men. In addition to that I was also drawn towards women. I use to supress my sexual attractions towards women. Why? Coz I was conditioned to believe that 'real men are not sexually attracted towards women'. This resulted in me only focusing on understanding my attractions to men which lead me into thinking that I might be gay. I was exclusively focused on other aspects of my life so dating, sex, relationships and my sexuality were barely a priority.
Fast forward to 18yo me who came across this amazing platform where I got to learn so much about sexuality, gender identity, self expression, modern masculinity etc. It took me a month to eventually figure out my sexuality and after that I started allowing myself to feel what I was otherwise suppressing over the course of my teens. I still get that feeling of being alienated among cis-hetero people. However, being well informed and educated about this concept of sexuality from your platform has been so so so incredibly helpful.
Looking forward to next part.
Cheers.
Thank you so much my brother for sharing your story. I know that others will read it and gain strength. I'm so proud of you it hurts. Sending so much love to you my friend. You're changing the world. x
I feel loved in this channel, thank you for sharing 💕 💙
Oh my gosh well that is probably just the best comment I've had. My job here is done. Thank you for sharing these beautiful words. You are loved. Genuinely. You belong and are so welcome. Tell us more about you - if you're comfortable. My story is only one. I want to make a space where we can all share. Sending so much love your way, Mark x
I can relate to so much of this! Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of yourself it’s really helpful to many people ❤️
Thank you for saying. I appreciate you so much. If you can ever share anything so that others can hear it, I would be thrilled. Otherwise I'm just so happy that you're here. My heart is lifted every time someone says they relate.
Never at that time did I imagine I would be sharing my story and meeting others from all over the world like me. I wouldn't have believed you.
All my love to you my friend x
I've never seen anything like this in my life, and I'm 53. Maximum respect given. I mean...just wow. I was "lucky" (I guess) that I didn't even start to feel attracted to guys until I was in my 20s. You tell your story so well. I got emotional, for real. Incredible cliff-hanger at the end. TTYL,. I'm going to go watch the next part.
Hey thanks so much for your kind words. It means a lot.
What a moving video, I felt so many of the same feelings during my school experience.
Hey thanks so much for saying. I'm so glad we can connect and relate. Be sure to check out the other chapters. I'm doing more as we go!
Hello Mark.. Thank you for telling your story. I'm sure its painful to bring all this up. . Now, if I remember correctly, you grew up in the '90's (correct me if I am wrong) so there was still a lot of hatred for anyone who was different. . I have a couple of questions tho. Not trying to get too personal, but did you grow up in a small town or village? I found that there was less tolerance in small communities. . And I am so sorry you had such a difficult time mentally . . My story is very different. I grew up in San Francisco, California USA. So I was in a large city. Which had a strong gay and lesbian community. Even tho I was not part of it, as I was a teenager, I never felt shame or a uncomfortableness with liking men and women. I was perfectly OK with who I was. So when I hear stories like yours, where you had such a hard time with your sexuality, and how you prayed for it not to be true, and had such dread, I feel bad for you. And it makes me feel bad for the youth of today. I sure hope they don't go through that any longer, but I know a lot of young men and women still do. . Now I live in Colorado Springs Colorado, USA. There was a huge christian population here in the 1990's. And they preached against anything gay or lesbian. I have a big Chevy Truck, and I had a rainbow sticker on it. Because I wanted the teenagers of that time to know there was life, and a good life if they were not straight. I got notes left on the truck all the time. Telling me I needed to amend my evil ways, and that I needed to find Jesus. Of course none of the notes had a name or phone number on them, or I would have confronted the people. But I would laugh. Now, many of the christians have left this city, and its more of a normal city. So I don't feel the need to stand up for the youth here. But I still will if needed. I feel its my duty to support people who are like you, and help them see that they are OK and normal. . I have learned so much since I found you. I look forward to seeing your videos. I feel like I know you, tho you don't know me at all, since I don't have any videos out there. And I wish I could get a cup of coffee with you, and talk to you about these issues. . Take care of yourself. You are a amazing man, and I send you love, hugs and peace. --Steven
Ah thank you so much Steven my friend. Your comments always touch my heart and I love to hear about your amazing experience.
I'm struck by what you said. You said there were a lot of Christian homophobes around. They tried to intimidate you and were routinely ignored as you stood firm in your visible pride and love for who you are. Then they left and aren't so much around anymore...
Funny that isn't it? You were part of their evil being stamped out. You were part of our community prevailing. Thank you. All those times you stood firm and didn't let them win, that was PRIDE.
I was moved around a bit so that made it really hard. I was born in England near London which was OK, London was close but then I moved to Scotland and there was no community. Even though I was near Glasgow (a big city) it was very far behind. It's much better now but I struggled a lot.
I also grew up in a very conservative strict evangelist Christian household. It was tough. Things in the UK were rough in the 90s and early 2000s. They are much better now. But I hate to see what's happening in the US with all the new laws it's horrendous.
I feel I know you too. We do know each other. The online space isn't less real than the non-online space. For LGBT people (especially those who are less recognised even within the community) online spaces are where we connect, gain strength and share experiences. So I love it.
I'm launching a Patron group soon where we can have a tight knit community and have chats and coffee Zooms and stuff like that. I'd love for you to be on board with us. I think you would have so much to contribute.
Anyway. Until then, I wish you a wonderful day. Thanks for being a strong role model for us all.
Mark x
@@notdefining Hello Mark! I always look forward to your messages! I'd love to be part of the Patron group. So when its up and running, I will be a part of it. . I am sorry you grew up in a conservative Christian family. I was lucky. My parents shunned religion. And I grew up feeling it serves no purpose. I still see it that way. But that would explain a lot of your internal struggle. I do hope your family has softened on the views of the church. And I hope you have a good relationship with your siblings and your parents. I was close to my father. He and I saw eye to eye on a lot of the world. My mother loved me, but never liked me. So I was never close to her. But when she was dying of cancer, I stopped everything and went to California and took care of her with my sister. So I have no regrets. . I think because I have a strong personality, I never allowed the strong Christian influence here to bother me. When they say to me "You are going to hell if you don't change your ways" (which they still say to me) I say back to them "Good! All my friends will be there!" they have no reply to that. LOL. . I will tell you this again. You are a amazing man. You are helping a lot of people understand who they are. And I am so glad that I found you. Thank you for your videos, Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for helping all of us understand more of who we are. -- Steven
@@sundancercolorado7087 Thank you Steven. I'm so enriched to have your experiences written on this channel. Mine is only one and the more we can all share, then the more we can relate to others. So thank you.
We have different experiences and the same. That's the beauty of it. We can all learn things from each other and grow.
I have a good relationship with my family. They're ok. My Dad still has very hostile views and it's hard to navigate when it's the person you love, your caregiver saying they love you but also actively supporting those who deeply harm you. This is what a lot of kids from religious families have to deal with. You get taught a version of love which is confusing.
I realised though that I love myself and don't NEED my Dad to approve or even love me. He loves me in his own way and his hostility is something for him. I have no need to engage with it.
I know God. Not in a dogmatic religious way, but I know God. God is the highest form of love that you believe within yourself to the exclusion of all earthly or manmade opinions. God loves me loads. So I'm good! Haha
Keep doing what you're doing Steven and being a shining example to us all. Sending loads of love x
Thank you very much for this video, we have had such similar experiences and feelings, thank you for being here and your videos. You’re helping out so much ❤ I am sending you love. Thank you for being so beautiful :)
Hey thank you for taking the time to send this beautiful uplifting message
Woah. Can almost relate completely to this experience. Certainly I was starting to question about what I am when the last 2 crushes I had with women did not grow more than just a crush/platonic friendship. I really had been confused for a really long time about my sexuality. Specifically my sexual orientation. Ive realized that my sex orientation is really complexed. Very recently, I acknowledged and accept the fact that I am not 90% or even 99.9% straight-heterosexual. For quite sometime, I identified my orientation as Bicurious or Questioning type. But overtime I became more certain that I am Bisexual.
Hey thanks for sharing. You’re so unique and valid.
Thank you so very much for sharing your experience. I can relate completely to this video. I am sure that you are helping a lot of people (me included). Thanks 💙
Oh hey thanks so much, this means the world.
I'm sharing my most intimate content on patreon.com/notdefining. Check it out if you'd like to support or receive coaching support. Much love and thanks again x
thanks for sharing Mark 💖💜💙
Hey thanks so much for watching :-)
I enjoy your amazing stories as much as I enjoy you as a person .
AH MY FRIEND! Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, I'm so grateful to have you here and thanks for watching. This has made my day. Sending so much love to you x
OMG "Maybe I'm just broken." Yeah, 100%
I know right? And you’re so not broken btw
Thanks for sharing. Hugs from Brazil 💜💙
Hey thanks so much for the hugs. Sending so much love to you my friend. Obrigado! x
@@notdefining I didn't say that in my first comment, your video is very important. I'm 31, when I was younger I thought the same thing as you. Bi men were invisible, I didn't know it was possible to be bisexual, now my friends and family know. 😉
I Know this is None of my business but at 11:25 You mentioned that you've had (some kind of physical interactions) with a girlfriend What exactly did y'all do , Were you able to maintain an erection ? When I was younger I used to be able to be with females in that way. But as time goes on I found myself having to think more and more about guys in order to keep it up.
Sure that’s okay to ask. I guess you could say we did “everything!” That’s the politest I can put it. Incidentally I did experience erectile dysfunction with one girlfriend and thought it was a disaster then the next girl I had sex with I experienced it again but actually she was really nice and patient and encouraged me and was really turned on and into it so she kind of didn’t get discouraged. So after a short moment I was able to have sex and it was really good. After that I never experienced it again. Not even a tiny bit. So I think it was perhaps more about general performance anxiety more than anything else. I used to have this feeling that I had to make the girl feel amazing and really pleasure her and be very gentle and make sure she was okay and all of that. So I kind of over did it and the buzz was kind of lost. But when I was with this girl who was a lot more sexually charged and confident, I realised I could be a bit more instinctual and just go with the energy. Be a bit more firm and masculine I guess. And women really want that a lot of the time. So I learned. But yeah. That was my experience. How about you?
@Notdefining Thanks for sharing , I experienced ED also , I had gotten a motel room and everything , it was very embarrassing , we just ended up falling to sleep for a while and went home . That was over 20 yrs ago and I haven't been with a female since , I have never has that problem with guys
@@ken306809 Hey thanks so much for sharing your experience.
I had people calling me gay when i was nine and i had know idea what it meant at the time but it felt like some sort of a criticism
I get you. Me too. It’s totally wild isn’t it?
@@notdefining yeah but now I’m like haha they were half right anyway
@@Cluedos2u Haha, well, there you go!
Very moving. Thank you for sharing your story. May I write you, please?
Hey thanks for your kind words. You may absolutely write to me on here. I try to answer all comments. The other way to write is to do so on Patreon.com/notdefining. There you can write in to me and receive dedicated answers and even coaching as well. I would love to see you there or we can chat here too. Sending much love to you and thanks again. I’m glad you’re here with us.