People are still getting used to me, a Black, plus-sized, elder goth. My kid's friends think I'm cool because I'm the weird mom at all the meetings. I hope she knows I will support her choices, as long as they aren't detrimental.
In a big city, people like me are fairly commonplace. In middle 'Murica, I stick out like a sore thumb. It's fine, really. People will make all the judgements in the world without knowing me, even if I dressed "normal."
Vanakyra My coworker, years ago, asked me what I would do if my daughter grew up to be into someone like Justin Bieber, LOL! I knew he was joking, but I just told him it would be her choice, as long as we invested in a good pair of headphones... I always dressed her in "normal" clothing, and while I exposed her to the "darkside", and the music, at almost 12 years old, she's really into bright colors & pop music...
When I started getting interested in goth I remember one day I was watching a makeup tutorial and my mom looked at my computer and said "You know that's against everything we believe in right?" I tried explaining to her what goth is really about and she was really dismissive about it and didn't really listen to me. Instead she deadass told me that she'll only believe me if I go and do research and prove to her that goth isn't demonic. And I did it. I wrote a 10 page essay with footnotes and appendices and shit . I highly doubt she read the whole thing but she left me alone. She's been giving me grief again recently and I'm gonna edit it, reprint it and make her read the damn thing again.
I think the Columbine shooting did a huge disservice to Goths; the way the media presented the perpetrators as "Goths" was completely inaccurate, as they were not. At the time, Goth had pretty much disappeared from "mainstream society", and was slowly creeping back (no pun intended, LOL!), but basically an entire generation had passed, and the only mention of "Goth" was these two losers.
I have known Goths who are devout Christians, and Goths who are Satanists - and Goths who are atheists, wiccans, Chaos-magicians, agnostics, buddhists, you name it. Liking a subculture or type of music has nothing to do with one's belief systems. One of the most active people in the London goth scene around the turn of the century was a devout Christian & a school teacher, and she would organise parties during which she would trial her lesson plan activities - she'd get us making models or drawing stuff, basically art stuff aimed at kids of 5-11yo. If it worked for a bunch of drunken goths, she reckoned (rightly) it would be a hit with a bunch of 7 year olds.
I hope that there are parents who see this. Too often creativity and exploration is stifled due to parents thinking it's a phase. Btw, beautiful as always!!
Even if it is a "phase", that phase is a necessary step in finding oneself. I went through a phase where I was obsessed with Weird Al, so I started writing parodies of songs I heard on the bus ride to school. Flash forward about 20 years or so, and I play three instruments, occasionally write poetry or lyrics, and make beats on my phone. My friends are impressed with my freestyle skills, and one of them insists that I teach him some riffs on my bass. I may not do funny parodies anymore, but that phase opened the floodgates to something I truly enjoy and apparently became somewhat skilled at. Always let people explore their interests. You never know when those interests will evolve into something special.
I got accused of doing drugs and having sex (neither of which I did) because I was Goth, and my parents took me out of school, isolated me for over a year. It was so bad, I eventually had to run away from home because I felt like I was dying. My plea to parents would be to try to get to know you child, rather than make assumptions. What my parents did really impacted my life in a negative way, especially when it came to social interaction and confidence. I missed out on the years that you are supposed to learn those skills.
Never run away people. You'll end up dead or bitter in life. It's not worth it or noble. For a life style like Goth or anything. Just a few escape that statistic. After 18... then do what you want.
I wish I had this as a teenager. Instead of rebelling, I just hid my love for darker things out of fear. I am so glad that you have created this video for young people to share with their parents. Thank you thank you thank you xo
Me too! I'm almost 24 and i'm still very much a "baby bat" of a subtle goth fashion, because i always loved the fashion and subculture but my mom would throw a fit and insult me when i tried to express my interest in it when i was younger:/
I'm a Christian white female and I prefer the darker aesthetic. I love bats, I love Halloween, I love to wear all black and red and dye my hair, I love Edgar Allen Poe. I enjoy skull motif and things like that. As a Christian I am accepting of everyone of any race, gender, sexual preference, and religion. I was raised to love everyone despite the differences and opinions.
Leah's Odyssey lol I'm 22 years old. Like I told my mom in high school I feel like my whole aesthetic makes people feel more comfortable when talking to me. I think I don't come off as a threatening Christian who will just bombard people with speeches about damnation. It shows others who don't understand or don't have good expirianced with people of faith that I'm not perfect and I know it and that I just want to be that person people feel safe talking to and know they won't be judged.
Hon3yBunny Similar here 🙌 I'm a born again Christian, carry a bible in my purse along with my skeleton gloves, love scary stories, graveyards, historical sites (especially haunted ones!) etc....
Hon3yBunny Yep👍 some fellow Christians forget that Jesus hung out with the tax collectors and the prostitutes and even cussed out the Pharisees. It's the broken that have a more genuine heart towards God when they finally find Him. Its the ones who think they're better than everybody else that will get a nasty surprise the day they have to stand before God.
I am a Christian, anti drug, Dominican American Goth. 🖤🖤🖤 I was baptized in a Catholic church and attended a Catholic private school for the first couple of years of grade school. Later I attended a missionary/ Pentecostal strict private school for 7 years. I truthfully can say I have actually read the entire American Catholic Bible. I choose to read it like a novel from the first page of Genesis to the last page of The Book of Revelation. Why? Because I found out that there were books from the Bible that was omitted in the King James version and I got curious. :) I am 100% against drug use. I have been my entire life. I have had too many relatives who have died as a result of drugs and alcohol. And I don't need that in my life. Though I am considered a loser by some because I don't even smoke marijuana. I don't care. I am goofy and wild enough sober. But more important, I am in control of me and my fun. I am a confident enough human being that I don't feel I need something to loosen me up and enjoy my surroundings. My parents were born in the Dominican Republic. I might look pale but I do have black relatives. I don't care what any Caribbean Hispanic might say to you, we are all decedents of African slaves. It's part of out history and blood. Am I rare for being a Hispanic and a Goth? Not really. One of the most famous Goths in our community is Aurelio Voltaire and I believe I heard him say in one of his TH-cam videos that he is a Cuban American. I have watched plenty of black Goths on TH-cam as well. Being Goth has absolutely nothing to do with the color of your skin and your ethnicity. Am I going through a phase? I am 50 years old. Though yes, I am a latent Goth. I didn't truly find myself till I was in my 40s. LOL! Though looking back in my life I can see that I was always attracted to the dark theatrical side of the arts. Has being a Goth kept me from having a proper career. I have 2 college degrees from the Fashion Institute of Technology and I worked 12 years at a theatrical costume company called Barbara Matera LTD where we made costumes for Broadway musicals, ballets, operas and movies. Though I mostly take care of my elderly father now, I still do costuming on the side for Freemason lodges and cosplayer, just to name a few. So I don't think being a Goth kept me from becoming anything I wanted. The truth is you have only yourself to stop you. Nothing else.
All I can say is that handled the subject matter perfectly. A nice, genuine open message to assure parents that the subculture is not what the media (or the neighbors) makes it out to be. Very lovely job!
I'm a goth and a christian, i always felt attracted to the life style and the music but am still a believer of god 🖤 i love being accepting of everyone and respecting anybody's beliefs, its a such a shame that i have been accused or stereotyped by my own family about my beliefs from the way i look
this was amazing, my parents need to see this they thought I was depressed,on drugs, and satanic. But my style is my style. thank you Angela for being an amazing youtube person you are love you my favorite person on youtube
I’m a Native American Christian and I am goth and I love the darker side of life and I feel that’s ok God doesn’t judge anyone on your appearance says it in the Bible
I wish this video was around when I was younger. I'm SO glad that young baby bats have this video for them now! Thank you so much for approaching this in the professional and caring manner that you did.
Goth is definitely not something White kids do. As I did research for 3 novels about an African-American Goth character, I wrote I ran into numerous African American Goths and got lots of support from Black Goths in the subculture. There is Black Goth subculture out there most people don't know exists, and I'm trying to let more people know about it and let Black kids know that they have that choice to explore life from a darker perspective. And Goth has absolutely nothing to do with Sataninsm. For my research for those 3 novels EVERY GOTH video from every person regardless of race stated that Goth had absolutely nothing to do with religion. There are numerous Christian Jewish agnostic, Catholic and Muslim Goths out there. I've run into many of these stereotypes whenever I talk about the subculture And I make efforts to dispel them with my writing and my videos. Because most of the people in the subculture I've interacted with have been great.
About the "violent goth". I went with some frinds to a Metal / goth party. Before entering the club we were checked for any kind of weapons or drinks. My friend already lifted his arms to make the check easier for the doorman. The doorman thanked him and said: "On you guys we always find the fewest weapons."
Thank you for touching on the subject of suicide/depression. I have only met one self proclaimed goth in my life that talked about suicide and wanting to die. But she did so so much and so often that it became painfully obvious that she was just using it, amongst other things, to get attention. Yes, we are much more open with sharing our innermost thoughts and emotions, but, in my experience, the people who really are dead set on ending things, don't talk about it much.
No worries :) It's definitely one of the assumptions people have about goths. We're all mopey, suicidal and depressed. No, we're just thoughtful, open and wear black.
I’m goth and a Christian. There are two goth bands that are Christian that I personally like that I encourage other Christian goths to check out. Savior Machine & Dead Artist Syndrome. There are others, but those are the two I would recommend.
Bryon Hutcheson I just recently found the goth Christian community and I was so excited because I grew up in church and always enjoyed more darker things.
So my neice is 8 years old and she is experimenting with black makeup and she loves her black lipstick and all she wants to wear now is black and all she listens to now is The Cure. She tells me all the time shes like her "titi" (we are Puerto Ricans) and i love her exploration this early to find herself.
I'm black and I am goth I do go to church sometimes . When I was younger looked at The Addams Family, I love all kinds of music. Does it matter what your child listen to or watch I mean at long as you love them for them. My mom is so cool. I don't do drugs and never will. Let your child or children be them it will make everything better. Angela Benedict thank you so much for making this video and others videos. Music is the core of my survival.
Hi there! I'd say it does matter what your children watch! As the parent, it your responsibility to 'guard the evenues of the mind ', because 'by beholding, we become changed '. My parents when they were young didn't protect my mind from harmful themes, especially those in film for example 'horror flicks'. They exposed me to the supernatural and it 'scared the hell outta me' or 'into me'. Made me incrediblely fearful and scared of the unseen, supernatural world. Protect your children's minds at all costs! Sorry for the essay!😧Stay in Christ and be wise!✊
My mom was awesome. When I came home in all black my grandmother immediately jumped into the “Black Sabbath, devil worshipping stuff” even though I was at a Christian Ministry training program my first year in college! My mom however said this: “Well, you never did drugs, never got some girl pregnant, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, if you want to wear black so what?” She didn’t understand the spiked dog collar but neither did she try to discourage me. I wish others had a mom as great as I had. Grandma eventually got used to my sombre look though. It helped when I asked her “Johnny Cash wore all black. Why can’t I?” I think she’d always had a crush on Johnny Cash so that helped a great deal with her. Ha ha!
I hope any parent that watches this is open to really listening to what you’re saying unlike my parents back in the day. Goth isn’t going to be something that derails a good kid, but having a home life where they feel like their parents not only don’t “get” them, but that they don’t even want to try to understand them or be supportive is something that can turn a good and happy kid into a depressed kid that starts making not so great decisions. Not that parents should always be permissive, but it is so helpful to have a calm and respectful open dialogue between both parties. That way even if the parent is still saying no, at least your kid feels heard and knows that their parent has their best interest at heart.
You're an awesome mom! You're a great example of a stable, functioning member of society who is also a goth and a mother. You also know what it's like to be pre-judged based on your musical preferences and style of dress which makes you more open to helping your kids discover themselves and not stifle them. I hope more parents who may not be so open will see your channel.
Every time I go to church to teach the kids, I get so many questions lol "You do know this is the Lord's house, right?" "Are you sure you're fit to teach the word of God?" And even from my students, which I can't really blame them. The most common one is "Don't you worship the devil?" I'm very understanding and try to be as nice as possible to everyone that inquires about my person, but it somehow gets to me more when it's a 5-year old asking 😭😭
i got interested in goth subculture at 11 (i think?) . i was raised in a very strict mormon household, so i pretty much only got to dye my hair black, wear band tees, a battle vest and a leather skirt. im 16 and i moved away to live with my aunt (whos an elder goth!) and i get to do whatever i want with my look. great video!
Thank you for making such videos. The ending broke my heart a bit because my parents won't listen to anyone, especially me defending my right to express myself how I want and I know what I am missing right now - so I'm trying to have as much fun as possible without making them angry. I'm full of hope as I'm moving out soon and I'll be sort of free. I'll be able to wear and do what I would right now. To everyone whose situation is similar - if I can finally be myself, you can, too. Remember that your feelings and passion are not something people can take from you easily and that goth is undead!
When I was a kid and a teenager, I had to fight so hard to be myself and I still feel jealous of people who had supportive families. I felt artistically stunted and restricted. Everything was difficult to get away with as far as things that made me happy. I wasn't allowed to wear more than one item of black, wasn't allowed to wear makeup, wasn't allowed to listen to the music I wanted to, wasn't allowed to go to concerts-I even got grounded from READING because my parents figured out that would hurt me more than grounding me from going out (I didn't really get to do that either). You know what that did? That made me bring clothes and makeup to school with me. That made me sneak the music and the books. (I never got to go to a concert). This was because when you take away the fashion, literature, music, movies, and everything someone enjoys and loves, it makes them truly miserable and left feeling like they must not be good enough as they are in your eyes. I can say from experience that hurts, constantly having your parents trying to turn you into someone else. All this sort of obsessive control does is create unhappiness within the child and a relationship with them in which they feel like they can't be honest with you without being scrutinized constantly and looked down upon. It really could have been much worse than having a goth daughter with straight A's, never getting into trouble at school, and not doing drugs or alcohol. I know I was a little shit at times and I look back on my past self with embarrassment for some of the choices I have made, but this is not something exclusive to the goth subculture. I knew numerous kids who would have orgies, do drugs and alcohol, would skip school, were in gangs, and all kinds of things (and were not goth). This sort of "rant" isn't about how mad I am with my parents because we're all good now for the most part, but it's saying "this is not the best method".
I would like to add that my father was convinced I was addicted to drugs even though nothing ever happened to imply such. I was incredibly against drugs, as a matter of fact. I wound up going and getting a drug test just to show him he was wrong.
Thanks for the vid. Unfortunately I was one of the kids who was not allowed to embrace my dark side when I was younger and now that I’m older it has affected me a lot. I wish parents, especially parents of color, understood that being goth does not mean your evil or something. I’m finally embracing the goth lifestyle as someone in their early 20s and it’s great. I wish I was able to do so when I was younger but it is what it is
That bit about teen years being extremely important stabbed me right in my little CPTSD heart, I'm fitting those experiences in now where I can in my adult life including developing trust and a healthy goth lifestyle for myself. :)
My favorite episode of The Addams Family was season 2 episode 15, "The Addams Family Meets A Beatnik". When a leather wearing, guitar playing, motorcycle riding teen, named Rocky, who was running from his father, crashed in front of the house and the family let him stay with them, then by the end of the episode, the father learned from seeing them accept the teen as he was rather than trying to change him, and Rocky decided to go back home with his father. I just felt mentioning this might be relevant, with the mention of the Addams Family as a good example. ❤
To every parent seeing this.... it is so toxic to not let your child experiment with their looks, taste in stuff etc. I wasn´t allowed to do so and now I have this feeling of being alone and belonging nowhere
Ugh the Addams family, the core of my favorites. Skeletons, poems, Tim Burton. All deeply linked to my childhood. I'm not goth, but darkly inclined. Is that bad no. I wish all parents were open minded.
Oof I was exposed to A bit of dat for a huge majority of my young life and I’m not a Goth, however I do NOT believe in God. (Your beliefs are yours to think and not mine to change/alter in any way.)
I'm a black goth metalhead guy. I've been a goth metalhead since I was 2009 when I was 14. I'm still goth my mom wasn't to hard on me, but she use to take any goth or metal t-shirts I use to buy. I'm 24 now, and she got over it. I am now wearing my Tripp pants, goth stripped gloves, fishnets, goth skull socks, my spiked vest with band patches all over with added spikes that I put on. I wish that you can read this, and thank you so much.
I got quite lucky. My dad was quite happy to find out I'd taken an interest in the subculture. In fact, he was the one who introduced me to it. While he isn't anywhere as into it as he used to be, he's still able to help guide me through babybat-hood (He actually took me to my first goth store today). My mom, though wary at first, after a few conversations explaining what the subculture is about, came to accept it.
I am a baby bat and have been in the culture for a year or two now and I want to thank you and a few other goth TH-camrs for being my guide and opening my mind to the genre of music. Since I've been watching u I have learned how to thrift my clothes a bit better to fit my wordrobe and have learned how to handle not being socially accepted and how to live my goth self this is me and I feel at home in this subculture and I'm proud to call myself goth so thank u truly
I honestly never had any issues with my mom having a problem with me being goth. Which my mom didn't really know what goth was but she did at times voice her opinion about my dark look but she didn't stifle me from doing what I do. Only times she was firm about my look was when it was school picture time. I had to wear what she wanted me to wear in the pictures and I had to keep my makeup light and "natural" But I am thankful that my mom let me have that much freedom. I have been approached by kids that tell me that they love how I look and dress but their parents will sneer at me or try to rush them away as I politely smile and thank them. It does make me sad when a teen tells me they wish their parents would let them dress or be goth.
Thanks for putting this up! As much as my parents wishing this "phase" would be over, I do notice that they started buying me only black clothes and I guess that's a pretty good start for them
Two weeks ago a "christian" lambasted me on Yahoo comments about my supposed witchcraft and worship of Satan and despite my telling it the facts, this person ignored my comments and condemned me to hell. Gotta love em.
This video is almost like a Goth FAQ brochure! I love it! Yet again you’ve helped continue to define and shape the definition of goth out-loud and in a highly accessible way. One of the greatest ways we can help people understand what we are is by telling them what we are not. Love you Angela!
Ok, this video made me cry. I wish it (and others like it) had existed 15+ years ago when I was a baby bat struggling with my grandparents to let me look/dress the way I wanted. I just gave birth to my first child in October, and ever since about halfway through the pregnancy, I've been thinking back on my childhood/adolescence and have realised that I had blocked a lot of that time period from my memory because it was so horrible. I started getting really interested in the subculture in middle school, and as soon as I started to try to wear all black, do my makeup dark, and wear spikes, my grandparents put a stop to it. They didn’t care what music I listened to (as long as they didn’t have to hear it), but I wasn't allowed to wear more than one article of black clothing at a time, I wasn't allowed to wear black makeup, I wasn't allowed to paint my nails black...the list goes on. They were like most people back then and thought that goths were horrible people who did horrible things (worshipped Satan, did drugs, vandalised stuff, etc.). They were blinded by the media giving goths a bad rap. I remember one time when there was a school shooting on the news, and my grandpa turned to me and angrily said, ‘See, he was a goth!’ And on top of my grandparents being against it, my siblings made fun of me for being goth as well. They would joke about something I was wearing or something I said I was interested in, and would use the word ‘goth’ like it was an insult. Basically, I had to become a ‘closet goth’. I would dress up in the privacy of my own room, just to see myself how I wanted to look. When I got a car at 16, I hid some gothic clothing in the trunk and would change before I got to school, and then change back before I got home. I wasn’t allowed to fully express myself until I moved out at 21, and even then I felt bad doing so. It felt like I was rebelling, and because my older siblings had rebelled so horribly before me, I felt like I had to be the ‘good one’. So now, at almost 30, I’m only just now starting to not care about what other people think and have been doing my own thing. I hope to never put my kids through that…it’s more damaging than people realise. As long as they’re good kids, it shouldn’t matter what they look like. So, thank you for this video. I hope it helps some of the baby bats out there that are going through the same thing I did.
Thanks for this video. Wish that was made a lot of years ago. But hopefully it helps more to understand the subculture and the little bats that is intrested in it. Thanks again Angela 🖤🖤🖤👍
I just NOW came across this video and freaking love it. I transitioned from my emo phase to this goth subculture. Let me tell you: I've been in this since I was 12-13 years old. This whole time I've hidden it from my parents. They are very HEAVILY religious and WILL shun me if I tell them about the subculture I proudly am in. I'm just very afraid of being shunned or kicked out if they ever knew. i'm now almost 20 and the fear is still there.
This is what I have always said, thank you so much for this highly educational video delivered in a very well put-together-way! I don't know you personally Angela, but whenever I am down and think of all the beautiful things in the world, you are one of the things that fall to mind. No need to stress replying this.
You are such a wonderful woman, a great resource, and truly do a great service to the community in general as an advocate and educator. You dispel ignorant beliefs and stereotypes and stand up as a sort of "Patron Saint" for "The Goth Subculture" with your passionate, articulate and well thought out videos which cover a plethora of subjects. I really respect you. Thank you for being here and doing all you do.💜🕷💀🕷💀🕷💀🕷💀💋
I told my ma I wanted to try and dress in the goth style the first thing that came to her mind was "SATAN" because she said " but goth people worship satan". Plus some dumb ass who used to pretend to be my friend gave her a REALLY bad impression on the goth style. I really don't care what either of their interpretations are I just love the dark leather and clothing and I've always had a bit of a thing for chains, spikes, skulls that sort of thing. There may be deeper meanings behind being goth but I'll burn that crossing when I cross it. I'm SO happy you mentioned the concept of a Christian goth because I always played around with that concept in my head and now I know it's really a thing. I wish I would have seen this video when I was younger. There are so many things I would have liked to do back then too.
I'm 35, Born-Again Christian, Catholic school secretary, I've taught Sunday school, and study apologetics. ooohhh I'm such a bad influence! Just because I like cemeteries, or enjoy scary stories all year round doesn't mean I do drugs, worship the devil, heck, I barely even cuss! I'd be more likely to teach someone the supernatural meaning of the fallen angels and the great flood over tea and cookies than harm animals or something crazy!
You do a wonderful service to the goth subculture. So much more productive then hauls or reaction videos, because you know, we need even more of those... Keep up the excellent work!
Thank you so much for this video, love the advise. I’ve been interested in the goth subculture for about two years now and I’m 14 right now, I always thought since I am both black and white that I couldn’t pull off the goth look haha and I’m glad you cleared that up that it really doesn’t matter what race !! Also, it’s so hard for me to literally wear one thing that is black because my parents will judge the subculture and automatically assume that goths are satanic. I know that goth is expressing the things that they love but it’s much more darker, and I don’t see what’s bad about that!! Hopefully I can convince my parents that there is nothing wrong with goths, goths are awesome and I hope the newcomers (hope I’m confident enough too) are confident enough to tell their parents that goths are beautiful humans who has darker interests in music and in clothing :’) 💘💓 Btw, I always love your outfits !!!!
Finding your channel was a true diamond. Altough I am no more a babybat, it is still very informative and I enjoy listening to your stories so much. So wish something like this would have existed when I was a babybat fighting my parents about my style choices. They were scared of all the things too, mostly because of the depression, altough I got into the scene through the dark toughts for real (something was always off and weird about me for the other students, and got passive agressively bullied etc. etc. so of course a scene like this was the perfect escape route back in the beginning days) and learned about the deeper, complex parts of the community a bit later. But got through it somehow. I did not even remember but when I had the final and so-waited "daughter, you know I did not like it first but I am proud where you got"-talk with my mom, she reminded me that when I was a babybat I wrote her a mile long email, telling her how much this thing means for me and that she does not have to worry (we were disasterous fighters, yelling , calling names, did not got along for so long, so talking about it face to face was no way, I had to write a mail yeah) It somehow worked. Fortunately I did not have hard barriers like religious views and such, but it was still hard as I came from a lawyer family and from a layer that was thinking a little tiny bit aristocratic and everybody around me had this kind of "oh my god, daughter, think about what others will think!!" attitude. But it was easier to fight since 1. I never ever cared of what others think. 2. once others talked with me they had to realize there is nothing in me to be afraid ot . :D Hope this video will reach a lot of skeptical parents. They have to watch it and think!
You are the best! I wish my parents and friends heard this years ago. Even me, as far as that goes! It's no accident I found your channel today. Bless you! -=80)
I had asked you before about how I could better support my daughter and her journey into the "darkly shiny, " (as she calls it,) lifestyle. You gave me great advice then, and you did now. You told me to ask her questions and be open. That we may have even become closer for it. She is stronger and more confident then she has ever been. I wished that my family had let me explore this side. But by just supporting her, we have become even more bonded. Thank you for this video on past words. That One Darkly Shiny Family
This is a good video and it will hopefully help any parents that are having trouble understanding the subculture. My own mom was accepting so I don't have to fear her throwing away my black clothes. (P.s. I love how you did your lipstick.)
Wonderful 💜. So well said and thoughtfully prepared. I’m sure this video will help many people. You are such a sweet and caring person to do this for all the struggling baby bats out there. 💜💜💜🦇
Omg on my instagram i just posted something that debunks the lies about goths. And my caption was along the lines like "most of the best, nice and kindest people I've ever met were goths and alternative people in general and the meanest, awful vile people I've met were people who identified as christians". Also this video and the comments makes me feel seen as a christian goth who has been badly mistreated by "christians" for how I love to dress, my personal interests in the subculture and my views etc. Thank you so much for this video!! 🤘🏾🖤
I'm in my late 20's and into Goth. I REALLY wish I had videos like this around when I was in my teens, living with a mother who was strongly against the subculture due to negative misconceptions.
I appreciate how mature you were about the topic. I’m a Christian and an employed minister. And have been a goth for 15 years now. I’ve known real life Crowlians and satanists and some of them are the most normal, pastel wearing, sweater vest and tie sporting, people.
This makes me so happy to hear. I just hope that enough parents and people in general who view the goth scene as something sinister can view us with an open mind. It would be great if young teens can find themselves (in alternative subcultures) without the pressure of being judged unfairly.
🖤Thanks for making this video, this video made me feel ALOT MORE better and I understanding more about myself, and now I know that I can be a emo/Goth and a Christian, I now have the confidence to tell my parents that I’m Emo/Goth and I’m a Christian that listen to Melanie Martinez, again THANK YOU🖤
0:45 I’m really glad you’re touching on the topic of goth being for everyone regardless of things like race. Very rarely it seems that someone says that. The first person I’ve ever seen say something like that was a Black woman who was goth and had natural hair and was talking about misconceptions and her experiences as a Black woman in the gothic subculture. Things like goth kinda go against the grain, go against society in some ways, so it’s only logical that it would be open to people of all races and all genders.
I was very lucky to have a mom that was open to my exploration of myself. My mom gave me my first pair of boots and while she may have not liked the way I dressed (and still dress today) she was open and didn't try to stifle me in any way. Especially with her being a musician she was understanding of that aspect of the culture. Thanks for the wonderful video as always, I hope some parents find some insight. 🖤
I'm not a goth myself(From the normie standpoint I'm "worse"), but what I see in Goth subculture is a nice aesthetic, and that's about it. Actually, no aesthetic makes one more prone to depression rather than some stylish aesthetic. Many parents tend to be less creative than their children, and become overly suspicious of everything that is odd to them. And I personally find it weird to associate goths with satanism for some twisted reason, while the closest random association would be gothic cathedrals, which are like the most iconic picture of christianity. And thanks for this clarifying video, it's what people need to know. Love your aesthetic.
Love this I actually have been rediscovering myself as a parent of two and conforming to what my family made me feel I needed to be as a mother and that was grow up and not be goth at all. Now I've told my parents deal with it and I am excited to let my own kids discover themselves.
I would have needed this video like 12 years ago. My family was not happy with me being a goth, some are even now while I'm an adult even tho most are way more relaxed about it now. They see that I have a job, an apartment and being able to pay my bills and that I am happy. Thank you for making this video, I'm sure it'll help a lot of young people!
This video was amazing. I wish I was as well spoken as you are. I'm 33 and just being introduced to the subculture. I know, I'm late. I've lived under a rock. I know I would have been here as a kid had I found the subculture then and this type of video would have been perfect. This video could still be helpful for an older "babybat" trying to explain to judgmental friends & family as well. I feel like I'm finding me. I'm not fully there yet. I'm still learning. The music is really sucking me in though and also inspiring me to express myself more outwardly. I have limited funds, so I can't express myself fully how I wish to. I'm making do with what I have. I still like cute things and other types of music as well. I'm just feeling more comfortable being me, in darker attire and happy listening to the goth music I've put on my playlist. I've loved dark and "morbid" things for as long as I remember, except for a brief time as a young kid when I was forced to watch scary movies. Now I love scary movies, scary games, scary books...etc.
Thanks so much. After a lifetime of turmoil for various reasons I'm returning to my goth culture/aesthetic after 15+ years of not having the resources or freedom. We needed this info when I was a teen because I was often scapegoated and abused. I'm grateful to reinvent myself as a goth. As an adult I see less gatekeeping about "real goths" other than competitive people joking with each other and when I was 14 it was bullying. I'm coming to accept my intersectional identities that people thought couldn't coexist.
I never understood why until I heard stories of pressure from both side. Have you seen this? It's a good read with great bands. www.post-punk.com/goth-so-white-black-representation-in-the-post-punk-scene/ - Might I recommend 'Shadow Age' - They're so good!
People are still getting used to me, a Black, plus-sized, elder goth. My kid's friends think I'm cool because I'm the weird mom at all the meetings. I hope she knows I will support her choices, as long as they aren't detrimental.
I still don't get what's out of the norm about that! I like that it makes you the cool mom though :)
In a big city, people like me are fairly commonplace. In middle 'Murica, I stick out like a sore thumb. It's fine, really. People will make all the judgements in the world without knowing me, even if I dressed "normal."
As a goth mother of two who does not impose her style nor beliefs to her children, I love this video. very nicely put, Angela!
I'm glad you like it! So many people think that as goths we're naturally awful parents who raise their child in a crypt.
Vanakyra My coworker, years ago, asked me what I would do if my daughter grew up to be into someone like Justin Bieber, LOL! I knew he was joking, but I just told him it would be her choice, as long as we invested in a good pair of headphones... I always dressed her in "normal" clothing, and while I exposed her to the "darkside", and the music, at almost 12 years old, she's really into bright colors & pop music...
A mama Goth, I call myself that too!
When I started getting interested in goth I remember one day I was watching a makeup tutorial and my mom looked at my computer and said "You know that's against everything we believe in right?" I tried explaining to her what goth is really about and she was really dismissive about it and didn't really listen to me. Instead she deadass told me that she'll only believe me if I go and do research and prove to her that goth isn't demonic. And I did it. I wrote a 10 page essay with footnotes and appendices and shit . I highly doubt she read the whole thing but she left me alone. She's been giving me grief again recently and I'm gonna edit it, reprint it and make her read the damn thing again.
I love that you wrote an essay on the subject :O.
I'm gonna end up doing that. I get passive aggressive comments from my parents about me being goth now, and I'm getting tired of it XD
I think the Columbine shooting did a huge disservice to Goths; the way the media presented the perpetrators as "Goths" was completely inaccurate, as they were not. At the time, Goth had pretty much disappeared from "mainstream society", and was slowly creeping back (no pun intended, LOL!), but basically an entire generation had passed, and the only mention of "Goth" was these two losers.
I have known Goths who are devout Christians, and Goths who are Satanists - and Goths who are atheists, wiccans, Chaos-magicians, agnostics, buddhists, you name it. Liking a subculture or type of music has nothing to do with one's belief systems. One of the most active people in the London goth scene around the turn of the century was a devout Christian & a school teacher, and she would organise parties during which she would trial her lesson plan activities - she'd get us making models or drawing stuff, basically art stuff aimed at kids of 5-11yo. If it worked for a bunch of drunken goths, she reckoned (rightly) it would be a hit with a bunch of 7 year olds.
Skiamakhos what about Goth Jedi
Goths who are Satanists, probably, play the Satanists. Maybe they don't even know what "Satan" is.
I hope that there are parents who see this. Too often creativity and exploration is stifled due to parents thinking it's a phase. Btw, beautiful as always!!
Thank you, MacKenzie! That would be great if some parents could see this and listen with an open mind.
Being stifled can be a great aid to creativity, not saying its a good thing but yeah.
Even if it is a "phase", that phase is a necessary step in finding oneself. I went through a phase where I was obsessed with Weird Al, so I started writing parodies of songs I heard on the bus ride to school. Flash forward about 20 years or so, and I play three instruments, occasionally write poetry or lyrics, and make beats on my phone. My friends are impressed with my freestyle skills, and one of them insists that I teach him some riffs on my bass. I may not do funny parodies anymore, but that phase opened the floodgates to something I truly enjoy and apparently became somewhat skilled at. Always let people explore their interests. You never know when those interests will evolve into something special.
I got accused of doing drugs and having sex (neither of which I did) because I was Goth, and my parents took me out of school, isolated me for over a year. It was so bad, I eventually had to run away from home because I felt like I was dying. My plea to parents would be to try to get to know you child, rather than make assumptions. What my parents did really impacted my life in a negative way, especially when it came to social interaction and confidence. I missed out on the years that you are supposed to learn those skills.
Ivy Vanian are you okay now?
Bob Johnson sounds like you are a pathetic excuse for a compassionate, decent human being. Entirely.
Don't listen to him. It's a troll account. He's just grieving the loss of the penis he's never had.
TheGothicGemini I went through similar aspects, but I'm a black goth guy.
Never run away people. You'll end up dead or bitter in life. It's not worth it or noble. For a life style like Goth or anything. Just a few escape that statistic. After 18... then do what you want.
I wish I had this as a teenager. Instead of rebelling, I just hid my love for darker things out of fear. I am so glad that you have created this video for young people to share with their parents. Thank you thank you thank you xo
Me too! I'm almost 24 and i'm still very much a "baby bat" of a subtle goth fashion, because i always loved the fashion and subculture but my mom would throw a fit and insult me when i tried to express my interest in it when i was younger:/
@@hrogan-jh1ru Same with me too.
I'm a Christian white female and I prefer the darker aesthetic. I love bats, I love Halloween, I love to wear all black and red and dye my hair, I love Edgar Allen Poe. I enjoy skull motif and things like that. As a Christian I am accepting of everyone of any race, gender, sexual preference, and religion. I was raised to love everyone despite the differences and opinions.
Leah's Odyssey lol I'm 22 years old. Like I told my mom in high school I feel like my whole aesthetic makes people feel more comfortable when talking to me. I think I don't come off as a threatening Christian who will just bombard people with speeches about damnation. It shows others who don't understand or don't have good expirianced with people of faith that I'm not perfect and I know it and that I just want to be that person people feel safe talking to and know they won't be judged.
Hon3yBunny Similar here 🙌 I'm a born again Christian, carry a bible in my purse along with my skeleton gloves, love scary stories, graveyards, historical sites (especially haunted ones!) etc....
Hon3yBunny Yep👍 some fellow Christians forget that Jesus hung out with the tax collectors and the prostitutes and even cussed out the Pharisees. It's the broken that have a more genuine heart towards God when they finally find Him. Its the ones who think they're better than everybody else that will get a nasty surprise the day they have to stand before God.
If only other xians acted... well xian like you this would would be a better place. :) Well done.
Hon3yBunny you're not alone :)). it feels very lonely sometimes when you're a Christian goth :(
I am a Christian, anti drug, Dominican American Goth. 🖤🖤🖤
I was baptized in a Catholic church and attended a Catholic private school for the first couple of years of grade school. Later I attended a missionary/ Pentecostal strict private school for 7 years. I truthfully can say I have actually read the entire American Catholic Bible. I choose to read it like a novel from the first page of Genesis to the last page of The Book of Revelation. Why? Because I found out that there were books from the Bible that was omitted in the King James version and I got curious. :)
I am 100% against drug use. I have been my entire life. I have had too many relatives who have died as a result of drugs and alcohol. And I don't need that in my life. Though I am considered a loser by some because I don't even smoke marijuana. I don't care. I am goofy and wild enough sober. But more important, I am in control of me and my fun. I am a confident enough human being that I don't feel I need something to loosen me up and enjoy my surroundings.
My parents were born in the Dominican Republic. I might look pale but I do have black relatives. I don't care what any Caribbean Hispanic might say to you, we are all decedents of African slaves. It's part of out history and blood. Am I rare for being a Hispanic and a Goth? Not really. One of the most famous Goths in our community is Aurelio Voltaire and I believe I heard him say in one of his TH-cam videos that he is a Cuban American. I have watched plenty of black Goths on TH-cam as well. Being Goth has absolutely nothing to do with the color of your skin and your ethnicity.
Am I going through a phase? I am 50 years old. Though yes, I am a latent Goth. I didn't truly find myself till I was in my 40s. LOL! Though looking back in my life I can see that I was always attracted to the dark theatrical side of the arts.
Has being a Goth kept me from having a proper career. I have 2 college degrees from the Fashion Institute of Technology and I worked 12 years at a theatrical costume company called Barbara Matera LTD where we made costumes for Broadway musicals, ballets, operas and movies. Though I mostly take care of my elderly father now, I still do costuming on the side for Freemason lodges and cosplayer, just to name a few. So I don't think being a Goth kept me from becoming anything I wanted. The truth is you have only yourself to stop you. Nothing else.
Laurin Garcia
Garcia's being goth? I think it's a wonderful thing! Hahaha😄
Thank you. LOL! ^_^
Hi,honey,an Eastern Ortodox Goth here.God is in my heart,I try to live according His laws,and I'm Goth since 26 years
Did you leave the CHURCH?
As a Nicaraguan American goth I approve this message 🖤🦇
im a goth muslim ! i feel like there arent too many of us haha but we exist!
PandemicMalady my respects to u
thats awesome!
Yes! Ive got a girl on instagram who adorns her hijab with spider and bat pins she's bad ass shit! I love seeing how she puts her style together ❤
PandemicMalady .good 4 you!!! God bless!!
PandemicMalady we do !
All I can say is that handled the subject matter perfectly. A nice, genuine open message to assure parents that the subculture is not what the media (or the neighbors) makes it out to be. Very lovely job!
Thank so much, Kai! I hope skeptical and misguided parents see this and it helps make the lives of younger would-be goths easier.
Here's to hoping because it'll help a lot!
As a parent and lifelong Christian as well as a goth for 20 years or so, thank you for making this. It was very considerate and articulate. Thanks :)
I'm a goth and a christian, i always felt attracted to the life style and the music but am still a believer of god 🖤 i love being accepting of everyone and respecting anybody's beliefs, its a such a shame that i have been accused or stereotyped by my own family about my beliefs from the way i look
YES
this was amazing, my parents need to see this they thought I was depressed,on drugs, and satanic. But my style is my style. thank you Angela for being an amazing youtube person you are love you my favorite person on youtube
I’m a Native American Christian and I am goth and I love the darker side of life and I feel that’s ok God doesn’t judge anyone on your appearance says it in the Bible
I am a goth and agnostic. That being said, I am accepting of everyone as long as you have a good heart.
I wish this video was around when I was younger. I'm SO glad that young baby bats have this video for them now! Thank you so much for approaching this in the professional and caring manner that you did.
omg baby bats is the cutest term I've ever heard for young goths
Goth is definitely not something White kids do. As I did research for 3 novels about an African-American Goth character, I wrote I ran into numerous African American Goths and got lots of support from Black Goths in the subculture. There is Black Goth subculture out there most people don't know exists, and I'm trying to let more people know about it and let Black kids know that they have that choice to explore life from a darker perspective.
And Goth has absolutely nothing to do with Sataninsm. For my research for those 3 novels EVERY GOTH video from every person regardless of race stated that Goth had absolutely nothing to do with religion. There are numerous Christian Jewish agnostic, Catholic and Muslim Goths out there.
I've run into many of these stereotypes whenever I talk about the subculture And I make efforts to dispel them with my writing and my videos. Because most of the people in the subculture I've interacted with have been great.
Three words; My profile pic.
Im a hispanic goth and yep i agree with u
Shawn James I'm a black goth guy. Thank you.
i don't even understand who tf came uyp with this stereotype. goth is for everyone
Whenever someone tells me black Goths aren't a thing, I refer them to pictures of my friend Max, and/or the movie "Blackula".
About the "violent goth". I went with some frinds to a Metal / goth party. Before entering the club we were checked for any kind of weapons or drinks. My friend already lifted his arms to make the check easier for the doorman. The doorman thanked him and said: "On you guys we always find the fewest weapons."
Thank you for touching on the subject of suicide/depression. I have only met one self proclaimed goth in my life that talked about suicide and wanting to die. But she did so so much and so often that it became painfully obvious that she was just using it, amongst other things, to get attention. Yes, we are much more open with sharing our innermost thoughts and emotions, but, in my experience, the people who really are dead set on ending things, don't talk about it much.
No worries :) It's definitely one of the assumptions people have about goths. We're all mopey, suicidal and depressed. No, we're just thoughtful, open and wear black.
@@angelabenedict exactly. Loving your vids. New subscriber.
I’m goth and a Christian. There are two goth bands that are Christian that I personally like that I encourage other Christian goths to check out. Savior Machine & Dead Artist Syndrome. There are others, but those are the two I would recommend.
oh how interesting!
Thank you.
* coughs* Christian Death
Bryon Hutcheson I just recently found the goth Christian community and I was so excited because I grew up in church and always enjoyed more darker things.
ForeverDreamWithinADream it’s not too late to come back. 🙂
So my neice is 8 years old and she is experimenting with black makeup and she loves her black lipstick and all she wants to wear now is black and all she listens to now is The Cure. She tells me all the time shes like her "titi" (we are Puerto Ricans) and i love her exploration this early to find herself.
Jazzabell GL wow,8 y.o Goth girl???ithi is amazing,I imagine her like a cute Goth doll ;-):-)
That is adorable!
I'm black and I am goth I do go to church sometimes . When I was younger looked at The Addams Family, I love all kinds of music. Does it matter what your child listen to or watch I mean at long as you love them for them. My mom is so cool. I don't do drugs and never will. Let your child or children be them it will make everything better. Angela Benedict thank you so much for making this video and others videos. Music is the core of my survival.
1985 Goth32 I'm the same of everything
Hi there! I'd say it does matter what your children watch! As the parent, it your responsibility to 'guard the evenues of the mind ', because 'by beholding, we become changed '. My parents when they were young didn't protect my mind from harmful themes, especially those in film for example 'horror flicks'. They exposed me to the supernatural and it 'scared the hell outta me' or 'into me'. Made me incrediblely fearful and scared of the unseen, supernatural world. Protect your children's minds at all costs! Sorry for the essay!😧Stay in Christ and be wise!✊
My mom was awesome. When I came home in all black my grandmother immediately jumped into the “Black Sabbath, devil worshipping stuff” even though I was at a Christian Ministry training program my first year in college! My mom however said this: “Well, you never did drugs, never got some girl pregnant, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, if you want to wear black so what?” She didn’t understand the spiked dog collar but neither did she try to discourage me.
I wish others had a mom as great as I had. Grandma eventually got used to my sombre look though. It helped when I asked her “Johnny Cash wore all black. Why can’t I?” I think she’d always had a crush on Johnny Cash so that helped a great deal with her. Ha ha!
I hope any parent that watches this is open to really listening to what you’re saying unlike my parents back in the day. Goth isn’t going to be something that derails a good kid, but having a home life where they feel like their parents not only don’t “get” them, but that they don’t even want to try to understand them or be supportive is something that can turn a good and happy kid into a depressed kid that starts making not so great decisions. Not that parents should always be permissive, but it is so helpful to have a calm and respectful open dialogue between both parties. That way even if the parent is still saying no, at least your kid feels heard and knows that their parent has their best interest at heart.
MacabreMom you took the words out my mouth. I love your username.
You're an awesome mom! You're a great example of a stable, functioning member of society who is also a goth and a mother. You also know what it's like to be pre-judged based on your musical preferences and style of dress which makes you more open to helping your kids discover themselves and not stifle them. I hope more parents who may not be so open will see your channel.
Every time I go to church to teach the kids, I get so many questions lol "You do know this is the Lord's house, right?" "Are you sure you're fit to teach the word of God?" And even from my students, which I can't really blame them. The most common one is "Don't you worship the devil?" I'm very understanding and try to be as nice as possible to everyone that inquires about my person, but it somehow gets to me more when it's a 5-year old asking 😭😭
i got interested in goth subculture at 11 (i think?) . i was raised in a very strict mormon household, so i pretty much only got to dye my hair black, wear band tees, a battle vest and a leather skirt. im 16 and i moved away to live with my aunt (whos an elder goth!) and i get to do whatever i want with my look.
great video!
Thank you for making such videos. The ending broke my heart a bit because my parents won't listen to anyone, especially me defending my right to express myself how I want and I know what I am missing right now - so I'm trying to have as much fun as possible without making them angry. I'm full of hope as I'm moving out soon and I'll be sort of free. I'll be able to wear and do what I would right now. To everyone whose situation is similar - if I can finally be myself, you can, too. Remember that your feelings and passion are not something people can take from you easily and that goth is undead!
When I was a kid and a teenager, I had to fight so hard to be myself and I still feel jealous of people who had supportive families. I felt artistically stunted and restricted. Everything was difficult to get away with as far as things that made me happy. I wasn't allowed to wear more than one item of black, wasn't allowed to wear makeup, wasn't allowed to listen to the music I wanted to, wasn't allowed to go to concerts-I even got grounded from READING because my parents figured out that would hurt me more than grounding me from going out (I didn't really get to do that either). You know what that did? That made me bring clothes and makeup to school with me. That made me sneak the music and the books. (I never got to go to a concert). This was because when you take away the fashion, literature, music, movies, and everything someone enjoys and loves, it makes them truly miserable and left feeling like they must not be good enough as they are in your eyes. I can say from experience that hurts, constantly having your parents trying to turn you into someone else.
All this sort of obsessive control does is create unhappiness within the child and a relationship with them in which they feel like they can't be honest with you without being scrutinized constantly and looked down upon. It really could have been much worse than having a goth daughter with straight A's, never getting into trouble at school, and not doing drugs or alcohol. I know I was a little shit at times and I look back on my past self with embarrassment for some of the choices I have made, but this is not something exclusive to the goth subculture. I knew numerous kids who would have orgies, do drugs and alcohol, would skip school, were in gangs, and all kinds of things (and were not goth). This sort of "rant" isn't about how mad I am with my parents because we're all good now for the most part, but it's saying "this is not the best method".
I would like to add that my father was convinced I was addicted to drugs even though nothing ever happened to imply such. I was incredibly against drugs, as a matter of fact. I wound up going and getting a drug test just to show him he was wrong.
Thanks for the vid. Unfortunately I was one of the kids who was not allowed to embrace my dark side when I was younger and now that I’m older it has affected me a lot. I wish parents, especially parents of color, understood that being goth does not mean your evil or something. I’m finally embracing the goth lifestyle as someone in their early 20s and it’s great. I wish I was able to do so when I was younger but it is what it is
That bit about teen years being extremely important stabbed me right in my little CPTSD heart, I'm fitting those experiences in now where I can in my adult life including developing trust and a healthy goth lifestyle for myself. :)
My favorite episode of The Addams Family was season 2 episode 15, "The Addams Family Meets A Beatnik". When a leather wearing, guitar playing, motorcycle riding teen, named Rocky, who was running from his father, crashed in front of the house and the family let him stay with them, then by the end of the episode, the father learned from seeing them accept the teen as he was rather than trying to change him, and Rocky decided to go back home with his father. I just felt mentioning this might be relevant, with the mention of the Addams Family as a good example. ❤
You'll leave the Addams house unscathed unless you get in a fencing match with Gomez
"Dirty Pool, old man!"
"En Garde!"
Unless uncle fester shoots you in the back.
Or you get eaten by a carnivorous plant because you went into the greenhouse without asking
2A Metalhead but I want to stay.
To every parent seeing this.... it is so toxic to not let your child experiment with their looks, taste in stuff etc. I wasn´t allowed to do so and now I have this feeling of being alone and belonging nowhere
I hope it helps them.
Ugh the Addams family, the core of my favorites. Skeletons, poems, Tim Burton. All deeply linked to my childhood. I'm not goth, but darkly inclined. Is that bad no. I wish all parents were open minded.
Hopefully they'll calm down a bit.
Angela Benedict 😂💓I hope so as well
Oof I was exposed to A bit of dat for a huge majority of my young life and I’m not a Goth, however I do NOT believe in God. (Your beliefs are yours to think and not mine to change/alter in any way.)
Angela is such an amazing person.
Oh wow, mega compliment. Thank you
Goth and Christian. 💜🐦
Me too.
I'm a black goth metalhead guy. I've been a goth metalhead since I was 2009 when I was 14. I'm still goth my mom wasn't to hard on me, but she use to take any goth or metal t-shirts I use to buy. I'm 24 now, and she got over it. I am now wearing my Tripp pants, goth stripped gloves, fishnets, goth skull socks, my spiked vest with band patches all over with added spikes that I put on. I wish that you can read this, and thank you so much.
I got quite lucky. My dad was quite happy to find out I'd taken an interest in the subculture. In fact, he was the one who introduced me to it. While he isn't anywhere as into it as he used to be, he's still able to help guide me through babybat-hood (He actually took me to my first goth store today). My mom, though wary at first, after a few conversations explaining what the subculture is about, came to accept it.
I am a baby bat and have been in the culture for a year or two now and I want to thank you and a few other goth TH-camrs for being my guide and opening my mind to the genre of music. Since I've been watching u I have learned how to thrift my clothes a bit better to fit my wordrobe and have learned how to handle not being socially accepted and how to live my goth self this is me and I feel at home in this subculture and I'm proud to call myself goth so thank u truly
I honestly never had any issues with my mom having a problem with me being goth. Which my mom didn't really know what goth was but she did at times voice her opinion about my dark look but she didn't stifle me from doing what I do. Only times she was firm about my look was when it was school picture time. I had to wear what she wanted me to wear in the pictures and I had to keep my makeup light and "natural" But I am thankful that my mom let me have that much freedom.
I have been approached by kids that tell me that they love how I look and dress but their parents will sneer at me or try to rush them away as I politely smile and thank them. It does make me sad when a teen tells me they wish their parents would let them dress or be goth.
Thanks for putting this up! As much as my parents wishing this "phase" would be over, I do notice that they started buying me only black clothes and I guess that's a pretty good start for them
Two weeks ago a "christian" lambasted me on Yahoo comments about my supposed witchcraft and worship of Satan and despite my telling it the facts, this person ignored my comments and condemned me to hell. Gotta love em.
This video is almost like a Goth FAQ brochure! I love it! Yet again you’ve helped continue to define and shape the definition of goth out-loud and in a highly accessible way. One of the greatest ways we can help people understand what we are is by telling them what we are not. Love you Angela!
That eyeliner is begging for a tutorial 😍
GOTH METH HEAD!! LOL great point!
I'm still looking!
Ok, this video made me cry. I wish it (and others like it) had existed 15+ years ago when I was a baby bat struggling with my grandparents to let me look/dress the way I wanted.
I just gave birth to my first child in October, and ever since about halfway through the pregnancy, I've been thinking back on my childhood/adolescence and have realised that I had blocked a lot of that time period from my memory because it was so horrible. I started getting really interested in the subculture in middle school, and as soon as I started to try to wear all black, do my makeup dark, and wear spikes, my grandparents put a stop to it. They didn’t care what music I listened to (as long as they didn’t have to hear it), but I wasn't allowed to wear more than one article of black clothing at a time, I wasn't allowed to wear black makeup, I wasn't allowed to paint my nails black...the list goes on. They were like most people back then and thought that goths were horrible people who did horrible things (worshipped Satan, did drugs, vandalised stuff, etc.). They were blinded by the media giving goths a bad rap. I remember one time when there was a school shooting on the news, and my grandpa turned to me and angrily said, ‘See, he was a goth!’ And on top of my grandparents being against it, my siblings made fun of me for being goth as well. They would joke about something I was wearing or something I said I was interested in, and would use the word ‘goth’ like it was an insult. Basically, I had to become a ‘closet goth’. I would dress up in the privacy of my own room, just to see myself how I wanted to look. When I got a car at 16, I hid some gothic clothing in the trunk and would change before I got to school, and then change back before I got home. I wasn’t allowed to fully express myself until I moved out at 21, and even then I felt bad doing so. It felt like I was rebelling, and because my older siblings had rebelled so horribly before me, I felt like I had to be the ‘good one’. So now, at almost 30, I’m only just now starting to not care about what other people think and have been doing my own thing. I hope to never put my kids through that…it’s more damaging than people realise. As long as they’re good kids, it shouldn’t matter what they look like.
So, thank you for this video. I hope it helps some of the baby bats out there that are going through the same thing I did.
Thanks for this video. Wish that was made a lot of years ago. But hopefully it helps more to understand the subculture and the little bats that is intrested in it. Thanks again Angela 🖤🖤🖤👍
Thank you so much, for this video! It is really great to educate the world about things, that they may not understand! Thanks for the link, also!
I'm so happy you like it! I'm hoping this will make living at home a bit easier for some young goths.
Here I am in my mid-20's playing catch-up with many things I wanted as a teen but was forbidden by my parents. Being goth is one of them.
I just NOW came across this video and freaking love it. I transitioned from my emo phase to this goth subculture. Let me tell you: I've been in this since I was 12-13 years old. This whole time I've hidden it from my parents. They are very HEAVILY religious and WILL shun me if I tell them about the subculture I proudly am in. I'm just very afraid of being shunned or kicked out if they ever knew. i'm now almost 20 and the fear is still there.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope that you're able to get out there on your own and live your life the way you choose soon.
I'm a Christian and gothic😁😁😁
See, you DO exist!
So am I.
What a great video! I hope kids who are struggling show this to their parents.
This is what I have always said, thank you so much for this highly educational video delivered in a very well put-together-way! I don't know you personally Angela, but whenever I am down and think of all the beautiful things in the world, you are one of the things that fall to mind.
No need to stress replying this.
My mom just doesnt like my demonia's, but she loved my new rocks so im glad 😂 she loves that i like the cure and most 80s music
You're very fortunate to have a mom that support your lifestyle. Did she ever try to borrow your boots?
@@angelabenedict She's a size 41 and im a 38, she can try but no haha
You are such a wonderful woman, a great resource, and truly do a great service to the community in general as an advocate and educator. You dispel ignorant beliefs and stereotypes and stand up as a sort of "Patron Saint" for "The Goth Subculture" with your passionate, articulate and well thought out videos which cover a plethora of subjects. I really respect you. Thank you for being here and doing all you do.💜🕷💀🕷💀🕷💀🕷💀💋
What a noble and educational video! I am sure you helped many parents but also, some with sadly, still not understand. Keep up the great work!
I told my ma I wanted to try and dress in the goth style the first thing that came to her mind was "SATAN" because she said " but goth people worship satan". Plus some dumb ass who used to pretend to be my friend gave her a REALLY bad impression on the goth style. I really don't care what either of their interpretations are I just love the dark leather and clothing and I've always had a bit of a thing for chains, spikes, skulls that sort of thing. There may be deeper meanings behind being goth but I'll burn that crossing when I cross it. I'm SO happy you mentioned the concept of a Christian goth because I always played around with that concept in my head and now I know it's really a thing. I wish I would have seen this video when I was younger. There are so many things I would have liked to do back then too.
You do know that the definition of a Goth is " fan of Goth music", right? Wearing black and liking dark things do not make you Goth.
My friend gave me a necklace similar to yours. I wasn't sure how to wear it but now seeing u I have some ideas lol. Thanks haha
I'm obsessed with this necklace!
Angela Benedict yeah it looks nice
I'm 35, Born-Again Christian, Catholic school secretary, I've taught Sunday school, and study apologetics. ooohhh I'm such a bad influence! Just because I like cemeteries, or enjoy scary stories all year round doesn't mean I do drugs, worship the devil, heck, I barely even cuss! I'd be more likely to teach someone the supernatural meaning of the fallen angels and the great flood over tea and cookies than harm animals or something crazy!
Thanks Angela! I'm going to sound like everyone else here and say, you are always so thoughtful and inspirational. :)
You do a wonderful service to the goth subculture. So much more productive then hauls or reaction videos, because you know, we need even more of those... Keep up the excellent work!
Thank you
Thank you so much for this video, love the advise. I’ve been interested in the goth subculture for about two years now and I’m 14 right now, I always thought since I am both black and white that I couldn’t pull off the goth look haha and I’m glad you cleared that up that it really doesn’t matter what race !! Also, it’s so hard for me to literally wear one thing that is black because my parents will judge the subculture and automatically assume that goths are satanic. I know that goth is expressing the things that they love but it’s much more darker, and I don’t see what’s bad about that!! Hopefully I can convince my parents that there is nothing wrong with goths, goths are awesome and I hope the newcomers (hope I’m confident enough too) are confident enough to tell their parents that goths are beautiful humans who has darker interests in music and in clothing :’) 💘💓 Btw, I always love your outfits !!!!
This is very well done. Kudos to you my friend.
Finding your channel was a true diamond. Altough I am no more a babybat, it is still very informative and I enjoy listening to your stories so much.
So wish something like this would have existed when I was a babybat fighting my parents about my style choices. They were scared of all the things too, mostly because of the depression, altough I got into the scene through the dark toughts for real (something was always off and weird about me for the other students, and got passive agressively bullied etc. etc. so of course a scene like this was the perfect escape route back in the beginning days) and learned about the deeper, complex parts of the community a bit later.
But got through it somehow. I did not even remember but when I had the final and so-waited "daughter, you know I did not like it first but I am proud where you got"-talk with my mom, she reminded me that when I was a babybat I wrote her a mile long email, telling her how much this thing means for me and that she does not have to worry (we were disasterous fighters, yelling , calling names, did not got along for so long, so talking about it face to face was no way, I had to write a mail yeah)
It somehow worked. Fortunately I did not have hard barriers like religious views and such, but it was still hard as I came from a lawyer family and from a layer that was thinking a little tiny bit aristocratic and everybody around me had this kind of "oh my god, daughter, think about what others will think!!" attitude. But it was easier to fight since 1. I never ever cared of what others think. 2. once others talked with me they had to realize there is nothing in me to be afraid ot . :D
Hope this video will reach a lot of skeptical parents. They have to watch it and think!
You are the best! I wish my parents and friends heard this years ago. Even me, as far as that goes! It's no accident I found your channel today. Bless you! -=80)
Thanks so much for this video Angela :). I just wish that this video existed when I was in high school in the early 90s. Happy new year!
No worries, Glad you like it. Happy New year to you too!
Good for you helping people understand about Goth culture
I had asked you before about how I could better support my daughter and her journey into the "darkly shiny, " (as she calls it,) lifestyle. You gave me great advice then, and you did now. You told me to ask her questions and be open. That we may have even become closer for it.
She is stronger and more confident then she has ever been. I wished that my family had let me explore this side. But by just supporting her, we have become even more bonded. Thank you for this video on past words.
That One Darkly Shiny Family
Very well said, Angela! I applaud your eloquence.
This is a good video and it will hopefully help any parents that are having trouble understanding the subculture. My own mom was accepting so I don't have to fear her throwing away my black clothes. (P.s. I love how you did your lipstick.)
Wonderful 💜. So well said and thoughtfully prepared. I’m sure this video will help many people. You are such a sweet and caring person to do this for all the struggling baby bats out there. 💜💜💜🦇
Thank you so much. I hope the parents get to see it.
Omg on my instagram i just posted something that debunks the lies about goths. And my caption was along the lines like "most of the best, nice and kindest people I've ever met were goths and alternative people in general and the meanest, awful vile people I've met were people who identified as christians". Also this video and the comments makes me feel seen as a christian goth who has been badly mistreated by "christians" for how I love to dress, my personal interests in the subculture and my views etc. Thank you so much for this video!! 🤘🏾🖤
You don't have to listen to goth music exclusively. I don't think I know anyone who does. Goths just tends to be their main squeeze so to speak.
@angelabenedict indeed. 🖤
Extremely well put and thoughtful. Thanks for this!
Thank you, Joel - I'm happy you appreciate it!
Thank you for this. I'm a baby bat and I just wanna keep the scene alive because I love it so much
So long as people like you still love it, it's here to stay 💀
This was really well spoken Angela!
I'm in my late 20's and into Goth. I REALLY wish I had videos like this around when I was in my teens, living with a mother who was strongly against the subculture due to negative misconceptions.
I appreciate how mature you were about the topic. I’m a Christian and an employed minister. And have been a goth for 15 years now. I’ve known real life Crowlians and satanists and some of them are the most normal, pastel wearing, sweater vest and tie sporting, people.
This makes me so happy to hear. I just hope that enough parents and people in general who view the goth scene as something sinister can view us with an open mind. It would be great if young teens can find themselves (in alternative subcultures) without the pressure of being judged unfairly.
Angela Benedict Amen! I’ve been fighting for this for years.. in and outside of the church. 🖤
Fantastic! Liked and saved. Great speech and reasoning. Love from the UK
🖤Thanks for making this video, this video made me feel ALOT MORE better and I understanding more about myself, and now I know that I can be a emo/Goth and a Christian, I now have the confidence to tell my parents that I’m Emo/Goth and I’m a Christian that listen to Melanie Martinez, again THANK YOU🖤
0:45 I’m really glad you’re touching on the topic of goth being for everyone regardless of things like race. Very rarely it seems that someone says that. The first person I’ve ever seen say something like that was a Black woman who was goth and had natural hair and was talking about misconceptions and her experiences as a Black woman in the gothic subculture. Things like goth kinda go against the grain, go against society in some ways, so it’s only logical that it would be open to people of all races and all genders.
I was very lucky to have a mom that was open to my exploration of myself. My mom gave me my first pair of boots and while she may have not liked the way I dressed (and still dress today) she was open and didn't try to stifle me in any way. Especially with her being a musician she was understanding of that aspect of the culture. Thanks for the wonderful video as always, I hope some parents find some insight. 🖤
I am sharing this one. It's good. Thank you for making it and posting. 🖤🖤🖤
I need for you to do a video on this makeup look. You always have the most beautiful makeup looks.
Nice, ur still going strong...happy nu year!! Be cool to see you do podcast or go on like spoken word tour!
I'm not a goth myself(From the normie standpoint I'm "worse"), but what I see in Goth subculture is a nice aesthetic, and that's about it. Actually, no aesthetic makes one more prone to depression rather than some stylish aesthetic. Many parents tend to be less creative than their children, and become overly suspicious of everything that is odd to them. And I personally find it weird to associate goths with satanism for some twisted reason, while the closest random association would be gothic cathedrals, which are like the most iconic picture of christianity. And thanks for this clarifying video, it's what people need to know. Love your aesthetic.
Love this I actually have been rediscovering myself as a parent of two and conforming to what my family made me feel I needed to be as a mother and that was grow up and not be goth at all. Now I've told my parents deal with it and I am excited to let my own kids discover themselves.
As eloquent as always!
I’m so glad that this was addressed. It was about time. Demystifying Goth is so important.
Yo that necklace you wear in most of your videos is completely epic🖤
Good video, Angela. And BTW, beautiful as ever.
I knew I couldn't trust those lumber jacks...
I'm a Christian also, and I love being a Christian goth, loving metal music, and a fan of video games. #Christiangoth
I would have needed this video like 12 years ago. My family was not happy with me being a goth, some are even now while I'm an adult even tho most are way more relaxed about it now. They see that I have a job, an apartment and being able to pay my bills and that I am happy.
Thank you for making this video, I'm sure it'll help a lot of young people!
I'm new to Gothic subculture and your videos has really helped me alot and inspired me alot.. Thank you for that..I'm from India
I wonder how goth goes down in India. Is it seen as a cultural neo colonial thing, or something else?
This video was amazing. I wish I was as well spoken as you are. I'm 33 and just being introduced to the subculture. I know, I'm late. I've lived under a rock. I know I would have been here as a kid had I found the subculture then and this type of video would have been perfect. This video could still be helpful for an older "babybat" trying to explain to judgmental friends & family as well. I feel like I'm finding me. I'm not fully there yet. I'm still learning. The music is really sucking me in though and also inspiring me to express myself more outwardly.
I have limited funds, so I can't express myself fully how I wish to. I'm making do with what I have. I still like cute things and other types of music as well. I'm just feeling more comfortable being me, in darker attire and happy listening to the goth music I've put on my playlist. I've loved dark and "morbid" things for as long as I remember, except for a brief time as a young kid when I was forced to watch scary movies. Now I love scary movies, scary games, scary books...etc.
Better late than never! Welcome!
Thanks so much. After a lifetime of turmoil for various reasons I'm returning to my goth culture/aesthetic after 15+ years of not having the resources or freedom. We needed this info when I was a teen because I was often scapegoated and abused. I'm grateful to reinvent myself as a goth. As an adult I see less gatekeeping about "real goths" other than competitive people joking with each other and when I was 14 it was bullying. I'm coming to accept my intersectional identities that people thought couldn't coexist.
You make life easier & wish your videos got to me when I was in High School back in the days also You're the best! @AngelaBenedict
Thank you for this video
Thank you for saying that it's hard enough being black and goth.
I never understood why until I heard stories of pressure from both side. Have you seen this? It's a good read with great bands. www.post-punk.com/goth-so-white-black-representation-in-the-post-punk-scene/ - Might I recommend 'Shadow Age' - They're so good!