A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient...
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
Wow. It hits home. When I tried to set boundaries he would blame and gaslight me. "You don't trust me!" Etc. and I allowed his female friends and their 121 meetings. I feared he'll leave. Guess what? He cheated! And impregnated one woman, and slept with me and them for months until the delivery. Listen up ladies!!! My gut feeling was that something was wrong and I muted it. Never again. Thank you, brother! ❤
@mariacolucci6958 I am not either. He gives good life advice; not just relationship advice. The biggest lesson that I have received from Stephan's teaching is not to take on what I cannot sustain.
Excellent timing. My BF keeps contact with irrelevant women who keep trying to interfere with us. Ultimatum is coming.. and if he can't deal, I'm gone.. no sweat! Thank you for being the brother/father figure we women all need. Doing God's work you are
Got married at 23 she was 33. I had a body count lessthan 50 before MARRIAGE. WE were loyal to each other the entire time. Lost her to Alzheimer's / dementia. We / I set the expectation if cheating happened the marriage was over. Note, one needs to put in effort everyday. Married 25+ years. I never looked at other women until after I lost her. OMG i realized latter that women were flirting with me when i was married but just was not looking. Fyi i am 6' 4" and was making good money. Glad i was not even looking. God i miss her.
Im in a relationship thats been Rocky due to lies and deception. Because of our spiritual connection I can't break away from this guy. Please pray for a good outcome and change 🙏
I just love how Stephan is so authentic and funny and easy going !! He is there laughing and like we know it’s not in a bad way or anything and it’s just so heartwarming!!! Thank you so much for everything!!
Depends on the nature of their connection and the content of the texting. Sometimes they have genuine female friends who are no threat and who contribute to his emotional well-being (platonically). But if it’s an ex or a woman who might have expressed romantic or sexual interest, and the texting is suggestive of sex or romance, then that is cheating as far as I’m concerned, there is no need to add the ‘emotional’ label even because for the person being cheated on, any kind of cheating is emotional. A bit OT, but people really need to stop conceiving of cheating as having sex outside of a committed relationship and they need to start conceiving of cheating as betrayal of your partner. No need for sex to occur.
@@MeetStephanSpeaksI can tell he deals with many “Karens”. He sets a lot of disclaimers, but he knows what a lot of other women may be thinking, those who got some to say about every little thing lol
Stephan this happened in my 26 year marriage, my husband started going to his mentors house because she was going through a break up and feelings developed. He tells me that he wants to date his co-worker mentor and stay married to me to test the waters. I said NOT, you go ahead and live your life and I will live mines. 30 years together is enough if you can have so little regards for my feelings you do not deserve me. They were red flags during the marriage, self absorb, self centered but I never thought he would go to that level of disrespect. Healing and moving forward and thank you so much for writing the book "Love After Heartbreak" when you writing volume II?
Test what waters? Whether she is a better woman for him than you are? Gosh, this is just a way to say "I am about to dump you but please wait until I first ascertain that I have a replacement for you, because until then, I still need someone to do my laundry and give me attention." Honestly, had this happened to me, I would have ended the marriage right then and there, because that right there is a dude opening Pandora’s box, and there is no way the monsters oozing out can ever be stuffed back in.
@emguest2559 As a general rule, no married person needs to be going to an opposite gender mentor's house alone. That is a recipe for disaster. There might be some exception in a very elderly age grandparent like situation, but that would be it. They probably don't even need to go to their house at all, even with proper accountability, unless it is an emergency. Married people don't need to be helping opposite gender people by themselves, especially with something like a break up.
If somebody says he has option 2. Then go ahead. I'm very sorry for you but love can make us so blind. Heal and forgive yourself of being blindsided. You'll find the right guy when you're healed. All the best ❤
Fresh out of a very damaging relationship with a man that had ZERO of these traits. Thanks Stephan, when I'm ready to try it again I will be searching for these qualities.
Stephen Im not impressed by many people/expertise but COMPLETELY impressed by yours As someone who has been married for 19yrs ( Im 41 btw) your ADVICE AND INTERPRETATIONS ARE SOOOO ON POINT. People (who want a good relationship) need to hear your advice far and wide.
There are 2 things that I cannot be. Fake or a Liar. People have gotten so mad at me for being honest. But I set myself free everytime. The men that I’ve dated, oh boy…lol! They will remember my name for the rest of their lives!! Lawd! I am beyond honest. This honesty stems from my childhood…oh well!
Stephan, the word "female" is fine. Using it as a noun is what’s not okay. We are not animals. When a noun is needed, call us women. But there is no gendered word for the concept of friend, so female friend is fine. I appreciate that you as a man are sensitive to the way some words can come with stigma for women.
I resonate a lot with Steven's last point. My boyfriend passes all of the previous points ✅️ but he needs awareness and needs to think ahead. Like he would call and help his female friend via phone and the time was 11pm. Would talk for over an hour. I was furious and confused inside. 😮💨😩😩 But to be fair, my boyfriend is younger and not very aware/not high EQ. But he always try to comply to my requests and boundaries tho.
NEWSFLASH!!! 📢 IF A GUY WANTS TO PUT IN A SITUATION WHERE HE IS TOO IMMATURE TO HAVE SELF CONTROL OF HIMSELF, WHERE HE IS PUTTING HIMSELF AT RISK, OR EVEN POSSIBLY YOU..THEN FIND SOMEONE WHO WON'T! LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR NONSENSE!💅🏾
Oh my gosh!!! Where were you when this shh happened to my EX HUSBAND! NOT only did he leave and again I didn't have a problem with him leaving and going to assist like boundaries I get it tgat didn't bother me.... I was upset because he doesn't/didn't move that fast for me when I needed him. I would have to send smoke signals for him to move that fast! Omg I love this... aware!!!****
I love your videos! ❤ I’ll be real I do not love seeing advertisements every 2 mins, it makes it very difficult to enjoy, I get you’re gonna have to make money of this but 15+ ads in one video is a lot, love ❤
Thank You so much for your videos!!!! I found who I think is the love of my life and I want to go into this being as prepared as possible. He’s such a good man and sometimes I feel he's too good to be true. Its been a year and a half with no intimacy (although he's admitted to being with other woman lol.) but he hasn't pressured me and I respect him for that. Anyways Im happy and you helped me answer a lot of questions i've had.
There is a syndrome out there unknowing to men I call it the SNAP syndrome ie quick transformation from friends to lovers Thanks Stephan for yet another REALITY video
Men should not allow females friends to call at very late times if is in a relationship. I only have one other person of the opposite gender that calls me outside of my Simba, but I do not allow him to ask me whatever he wants, nor call me late even though Simba and I are long distance currently. I do not hang out with the other person and etc. Also I have told my Simba this before, but it is his responsibility to remember this. If he has an issue with that then he needs to communicate that to me.
@MeetStephanSpeaks My Simba is confusing me at the moment with his communication...knows how I prefer to communicate, etc. He's communicating, but I need him to speak directly to me...not everyone else.
What about if she calls/texts in the middle of the day? Then it’s okay? You are making this seem way more clear cut than it is. It’s not about the time of day, it’s about the nature of their connection, content, and frequency. If his closest friend happens to be female (yes, some guys can do platonic opposite sex friendship), you are in no position to demand that he kiss his most important friendship goodbye.
If he isn't willing to let go of women from his past, a good indication he is the non committal type? Guessing he's telling you without telling you....might be physically committed but guessing not emotionally available? Won't emotionally commit to anyone likely? I would likely guess he always likes to keep one foot in and one foot out, possibly on everything he does? Has there been ANYTHING he's fully committed to (a sport or a job as an example) if not, might be a red flag?
@ well you would assume so. I actually fell into this trap when I was with a long time, girlfriend. My first love found me on social media and we’ve been together ever since it’s been almost 3 years now
I think that should be the obvious that it it's not ALL men, because there are faithful ones. There's always the red flags of a cheater, and a faithful man will make SURE he let's his woman know she is the only one in his world as a partner.
I honestly don’t believe all men cheat but, I also don’t believe that nothing just happens. Men/Women put themselves in certain situations where it’s possible that something can happen. It’s just not good. I personally don’t believe in cheating nor, do I believe in hanging onto old relationships. Thank you for the great videos!❤
You don't have to choose me, but I respect a man who will cut me off. I understand that he can have trepidations and regrets, but get closure, then embrace the choice you made. God can bless all relationships even those He didn't ordain. In a different time or opportunity, I would never want a man who cheats on his wife.
The one i loved so deeply was too too good looking where i knew woman won't keep their hands off of him. What made me feel even worse was he knew he was good looking and love lots of women attention. I felt the battle in both directions and couldn't be bother i saw ways he treated a few of his exes and the lies and other women on the side. He lied in the relationship and cheat on her he would fo the same to me.
Thank you so much Stephan for your insightful advice ☺️✨ Do you think that mental betrayal could be considered cheating? I’m in a long-distance relationship, and he once mentioned that it might be better to think of his girlfriend for sexual release, though he didn’t say it very clearly. Sometimes, I’m not sure if he only thinks of me, as he used to have a habit of watching adult content every night, but he says he’s stopped now. Should I consider this mental betrayal as cheating??
Stephan, got a job and was terminated due to conflict of interest. I left happy and peacefully Kind of felt like a man there in my department was my husband or someone who I’d seriously let into my heart. I let his gentle pursuits un responded to (when he passed by my desk twice when on the phone with a manager and other sweet opportunities for engagement) but due to not wanting to let my nosie coworkers into my secret crush I ignored him. Now I’m well connected with a coworker of his who was also in my department. Do you think it would be too forward or emasculating to send my number and a note through that coworker? Would hate to be gossiped about after leaving but I just can’t help it… I’ve never felt such sweetness from a man, such easy submission. We live in a local area where he can probably find me easily if he wanted to. I tried to give clues like my church that is really popular here. Unsure what to do. Any Advice?
One of my suitors starting adding my female friends and relatives on social media before I could even introduce any of them to him. I had posted a picture of my elder sister wearing a short stripped dress and a few days later I noticed he'd added her to his friends list. I cut him off immediately because why would he be interested in adding a person I haven't even introduced him to.
Mr. Stephan as a married woman. Can you truly forgive a so called husband that has cheated on you before? Is that even possible? I’m really hurt that he cheated to my core, I’m a really good woman, but I’m also hurt by who and what he cheated on me with! Now, I don’t trust or believe anything that comes out of his mouth! We’re still together, but I don’t think it will ever be the same. I completely hate him now! I don’t think I deserved that! And it really hurts!!
Why be with someone you hate? It hurts now but it will hurt worse when he either cheats on you again or you use precious energy being insecure and stressed about the possibility he cheats again. You deserve better. You deserve happiness and not settled for someone you Hate
@morrisgoss1858 It is Biblically possible to forgive anyone. In fact, it is the will of God to do so to set ourselves free. However, forgiving doesn't necessarily mean forgetting or staying in the same situation, though. It also doesn't mean that your feelings immediately go away. I think that is where people get confused about forgiveness.
A God fearing man would NEVER cheat. Not because he is so in love but because he is accountable and faithful to his God first. If he sins before God he knows God will hold him accountable. That's what my husband says anyway, and he also says if he was to think of drifting then he would just leave first. Makes sense.
As far as I’m concerned, there is no supreme being of any kind. I am an atheist. And yet, I don’t cheat. No one needs a supreme being to manage their behaviour and hold them accountable for it. You can also just be respectful enough of your partner not to betray them, it’s really not that hard to do. This whole idea that belief in a supreme being somehow makes you worthy is utter bullshit. The same as belief (or pretend belief, it’s quite common) in a supreme being is used as motivation to do good, it is also used as an excuse to be horribly abusive. I respect your belief, hopefully it does make you a better person. Just don’t pretend that "godliness" is what makes a person faithful. Stop trying to make the rest of us out to be morally inferior because we don’t share your faith.
@Gomba13 I'm talking about a man who fears HIS God not people who don't believe in God. And I've been married since I was 18 I'm now 28 we are both faithful to God and love God. I can only speak to women who also believe I don't speak for people who don't believe.
It’s funny how men don’t think ahead, but if the tables were turned, he would easily see the issue. For example, if a male friend of mine were to call me late at night and tell me he needed help with something and I go help him. He could see it then, but he don’t see it when his female friend calls late at night for help..
Yeah, keeping up all them dang lies would be cause of stress for most people. Especially when it starts to get so bad, you can't keep them lies straight anymore lol. Or even worse, you start believing ur own lies & get caught up!!!! Js😂😂😂🤣🤔😁
18:11 I’m sorry he’s not being honest at the point he’s not being wise. I don’t think any decent man who respects his woman would go to another lady’s house or something at night.
I think the word you might use when speaking about people who are "about themselves" or narcissistic is self-centered. It’s neat because it includes extreme narcissists but also mentally healthy people who tend to make things about themselves a bit more than the average person and people who are particularly selfish, and everything in between, without any armchair diagnosis or stigma.
@Gomba13 I like this comment so much because I feel like a carnal diagnosing spirit often surrounds the use of that "n" word and it has become such a dead cliche, so much so that I don't even like saying the whole word. I can't even sit through a Stephan video with n********* in the title. I have tried, but I just can't go there. Stephan and the people who like that will have to have their own club with that one.
@@JStig12 Narcissism is not a mental illness, NPD is. In fact, everyone is narcissistic to a certain extent, and that's as it should be. Not being narcissistic at all is as bad as being overly narcissistic. A healthy person needs self-esteem, and that self-esteem's roots are mostly social interactions: compliments and attention. Narcissism is a perfectly neutral concept, it is finding yourself in one extreme or the other of it that is bad.
I personally don't understand how women end up with these narcissists, & i'm being forreal here. I've known a few, & worked with a few, but if i was ever dating a man where that mask came off & he was pulling those wild antics??? That's a one & done for me. I'm just curious if any women on here actually has been thru that sort of thing??🤯🥴🤫🤷🏼♀️
I’ve had a few narcissistic-like men/toxic men in my life who cared more about having control over me vs actually humanizing me/loving me as a person. That being said I don’t stay long enough for them to do damage long term. I’m a bit more on the rational side of things/detached. I feel my emotions but my pride is not always having to prove a point like the men I’ve come across. Once I understood that men are much more insecure/needy, & are ego driven than a woman it all made sense on learning how to handle them. Most of them don’t really mean what they say they have a hard time following through with what they’re projecting 9/10. I’ve noticed this by ignoring them, they tend to fold early. 😂 they can’t take what they dish literally. While a woman can. Once they sensed I had a strong mind/emotionally grounded…they’d double down or scatter like a roach. Since they underestimated me often times because of my demeanor I use the one thing that hurts them forreal: my mouthpiece is lethal & I don’t even have to curse lol
Men should not be going over single women home very late. It just sends the wrong message. Some women are very loose, and if they see someone attractive they will go after it.
im with a guy he is so good with me but sometimes he isnt honest with others..what should i do? i love him and i told him and he said he will make it better..but i dont do..
I have a guy I been dealing with for years. Won’t cut exes off I know he’s lied and tried to cheat, swear he hasn’t ever slept with anyone. Good things love my kids pampers me when I’m around makes sure I don’t need anything, and make sure my girls have what they need. But always keeps women in the phone, habitually chases women, it leaves me so confused. Because he looks at how he hasn’t slept with someone else, not a risk taker, pretty homebound. I try to give him what he needs but he doesn’t even like me to approach him with sex, he like to be the one to initiate. Old fashioned I guess. 😢 I’m in a space of am I crazy for not cutting him off
a man won't cheat if he has these 5 traits.... watching and listening to Stephan!!!! 2 men who are happy and you can tell they don't cheat; ICE T AND COCO...RUSS AND CIARA..
Hi. Liked it all but “Not a risk taker” ? - so…. Don’t date entrepreneurs? You yourself are an entrepreneur… you lost me there brother. And timid guys … some are so insecure they are destructive & will do other things.
Yes in general and vice versa if he was a cheater before we met he will cheat in the new relationship. These are people with these particular characters traits. Get to know peoples character, avoid them for relationships sake. They lie, cheat, will steal, creepy and very secretive etc.
I love my Simba with all of my heart. However.. I wish he will not just get quiet during our conversations out of nowhere without me understanding why.
@TawandaClark-ii9ps u the one that came on here to broadcast your business and relationship issues and now it's a problem 😒 He probably doesn't feel safe hence why he isn't talking to u. You should be talking to him not ppl here take some advice without getting offended sometimes @TawandaClark he probably knows u going jump down his throat soon as he gives his opinion tune in to him ijs
![SAFEPLANET - ดาวเคราะห์ [ THE PLANET ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4X1XL3I_k3c/mqdefault.jpg)
What happened to the people that used summarize Stephen’s points in the comments???? Where you at??? You been SLACKING! 😭
😂
@@olayinkacredle that’s funny 😆
I scrolled looking for them also😂 They listened to Stephen and found good men so now we are on our own.
😂😂😂
@@malissa1134 I know right😂😂😂
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient...
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it.
Wow. It hits home. When I tried to set boundaries he would blame and gaslight me. "You don't trust me!" Etc. and I allowed his female friends and their 121 meetings. I feared he'll leave. Guess what? He cheated! And impregnated one woman, and slept with me and them for months until the delivery. Listen up ladies!!! My gut feeling was that something was wrong and I muted it. Never again. Thank you, brother! ❤
I'm not even dating anyone at this time, but I really enjoy listening to you. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you, I appreciate that 🙂
@mariacolucci6958 I am not either. He gives good life advice; not just relationship advice. The biggest lesson that I have received from Stephan's teaching is not to take on what I cannot sustain.
Mr. Stephan, if you are married and was cheated on. Can you ever truly forgive a person that cheated on you before???
Plenty of us watching are not dating. But that's also the goal so we are ready when the time come to recognise all the red flags.
@@Priska_Kelly Good to know! Makes me feel a little bit less of a weirdo 🤣
Much love!
I wish I could find one good man that I could spend my life with, spoil and love. I just want one, too much to ask?? 💔
Definitely not too much to ask. You will find him. Keep the faith.♥️
🙏 I pray you receive that
@janetrobinson2699 What is your definition of a good man?
He's going to find YOU.☀️
@@ORANGELILY4U I sure hope so!!! 😉
Excellent timing. My BF keeps contact with irrelevant women who keep trying to interfere with us. Ultimatum is coming.. and if he can't deal, I'm gone.. no sweat!
Thank you for being the brother/father figure we women all need. Doing God's work you are
He’s olive branching because he doesn’t wanna be alone. He’ll pick the best one that suits him.
@ it seems more like tree swinging. And he lives with me? He shouldn’t be having “back ups” at this stage of our relationship
STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO STAY FRIENDS WITH THIER EX'S!!!!
Yes, unless you have small children together, otherwise once the kids are grown or there aren't any kids in the picture, they need to go. Period.
I like how he talks about how we as women have to see these differences from the man's point of view. Absolutely Great! Thank You Stephan Speaks.
Got married at 23 she was 33. I had a body count lessthan 50 before MARRIAGE. WE were loyal to each other the entire time. Lost her to Alzheimer's / dementia. We / I set the expectation if cheating happened the marriage was over. Note, one needs to put in effort everyday. Married 25+ years. I never looked at other women until after I lost her. OMG i realized latter that women were flirting with me when i was married but just was not looking. Fyi i am 6' 4" and was making good money. Glad i was not even looking. God i miss her.
God bless you.
I'm sorry for your loss
@sandrastephenson9467 Thank you for your kind words. Was playing life on easy model thanks to her and had no idea. Actually, we both were lucky.
Thank you for posting that.
God did bless you. You two were some of the lucky ones. May God bless you in all you are doing 🙏 @@TheDWZemke
Im in a relationship thats been Rocky due to lies and deception. Because of our spiritual connection I can't break away from this guy.
Please pray for a good outcome and change 🙏
I just love how Stephan is so authentic and funny and easy going !! He is there laughing and like we know it’s not in a bad way or anything and it’s just so heartwarming!!! Thank you so much for everything!!
I know. I like that about his vibe too. Funny and laidback.
@@joannab1692yess ☺️
Thank you 😊
Texting other female as distractions is emotional cheating for me, he’s severely avoidant.
Depends on the nature of their connection and the content of the texting. Sometimes they have genuine female friends who are no threat and who contribute to his emotional well-being (platonically). But if it’s an ex or a woman who might have expressed romantic or sexual interest, and the texting is suggestive of sex or romance, then that is cheating as far as I’m concerned, there is no need to add the ‘emotional’ label even because for the person being cheated on, any kind of cheating is emotional.
A bit OT, but people really need to stop conceiving of cheating as having sex outside of a committed relationship and they need to start conceiving of cheating as betrayal of your partner. No need for sex to occur.
The avoidant excuse? Lol he sounds like trash.
Don't worry about the ones whom take wrong what you say, deliver the message for us with open heart
Exactly 💯 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaksI can tell he deals with many “Karens”. He sets a lot of disclaimers, but he knows what a lot of other women may be thinking, those who got some to say about every little thing lol
Stephan, I love your sense of humour and cleverness.
Well said! I noticed changes in these four areas overtime and it only got worse. I finally cut him loose 🎉
The way I twisted my ankle running to watch this video!! I love these videos, the insight that you give is unmatched. Thank you.
Lol You're so welcome! 🙏
Your friendgirl calling at 2am - savage. 😂 She trying to see if her spot still open.
lol 😂
His daughter in bikini????? Private??? Report him ffs@@TLCSweetL
Don't allow any female to call your guy at boots call times. Anytime after 12
Stephan this happened in my 26 year marriage, my husband started going to his mentors house because she was going through a break up and feelings developed. He tells me that he wants to date his co-worker mentor and stay married to me to test the waters. I said NOT, you go ahead and live your life and I will live mines. 30 years together is enough if you can have so little regards for my feelings you do not deserve me. They were red flags during the marriage, self absorb, self centered but I never thought he would go to that level of disrespect. Healing and moving forward and thank you so much for writing the book "Love After Heartbreak" when you writing volume II?
Test what waters? Whether she is a better woman for him than you are? Gosh, this is just a way to say "I am about to dump you but please wait until I first ascertain that I have a replacement for you, because until then, I still need someone to do my laundry and give me attention." Honestly, had this happened to me, I would have ended the marriage right then and there, because that right there is a dude opening Pandora’s box, and there is no way the monsters oozing out can ever be stuffed back in.
@emguest2559 As a general rule, no married person needs to be going to an opposite gender mentor's house alone. That is a recipe for disaster. There might be some exception in a very elderly age grandparent like situation, but that would be it. They probably don't even need to go to their house at all, even with proper accountability, unless it is an emergency. Married people don't need to be helping opposite gender people by themselves, especially with something like a break up.
If somebody says he has option 2. Then go ahead. I'm very sorry for you but love can make us so blind. Heal and forgive yourself of being blindsided. You'll find the right guy when you're healed. All the best ❤
@@Gomba13 you're right so I said I want a divorce and dumped him. Go run tell that
@@ireefree2024 Thank you for the support. You're right love can make you blind. It has been a blessing and a lesson.
Fresh out of a very damaging relationship with a man that had ZERO of these traits. Thanks Stephan, when I'm ready to try it again I will be searching for these qualities.
Stephen Im not impressed by many people/expertise but COMPLETELY impressed by yours As someone who has been married for 19yrs ( Im 41 btw) your ADVICE AND INTERPRETATIONS ARE SOOOO ON POINT. People (who want a good relationship) need to hear your advice far and wide.
There are 2 things that I cannot be. Fake or a Liar. People have gotten so mad at me for being honest. But I set myself free everytime. The men that I’ve dated, oh boy…lol! They will remember my name for the rest of their lives!! Lawd! I am beyond honest. This honesty stems from my childhood…oh well!
Good for you that you are honest
I love this guy, your content is so helpful. Thank you from South Africa! ❤😊
Stephan, the word "female" is fine. Using it as a noun is what’s not okay. We are not animals. When a noun is needed, call us women. But there is no gendered word for the concept of friend, so female friend is fine.
I appreciate that you as a man are sensitive to the way some words can come with stigma for women.
I resonate a lot with Steven's last point. My boyfriend passes all of the previous points ✅️ but he needs awareness and needs to think ahead.
Like he would call and help his female friend via phone and the time was 11pm. Would talk for over an hour. I was furious and confused inside. 😮💨😩😩 But to be fair, my boyfriend is younger and not very aware/not high EQ. But he always try to comply to my requests and boundaries tho.
NEWSFLASH!!! 📢 IF A GUY WANTS TO PUT IN A SITUATION WHERE HE IS TOO IMMATURE TO HAVE SELF CONTROL OF HIMSELF, WHERE HE IS PUTTING HIMSELF AT RISK, OR EVEN POSSIBLY YOU..THEN FIND SOMEONE WHO WON'T! LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR NONSENSE!💅🏾
Yep that’s it.
Yay! My husband of 6 months has all those traits!! ❤️
All man do not cheat that’s a fact! We listen Stephan thank you I’m about to head into a new relationship needed this
All man cheat, trust me.
Of course you right
Great points! I love when men speak positively about men. You are a blessing to our community. I appreciate you my brother.😎💙
“I’m laughing
but I’m serious”
seems like a dead giveaway
😂😂😂😂Lol
what was so funny
Stephen….
Oh my gosh!!! Where were you when this shh happened to my EX HUSBAND! NOT only did he leave and again I didn't have a problem with him leaving and going to assist like boundaries I get it tgat didn't bother me.... I was upset because he doesn't/didn't move that fast for me when I needed him. I would have to send smoke signals for him to move that fast! Omg I love this... aware!!!****
Thank you Stephan for all the posts and helping us couples with relationship tips
I love your videos! ❤ I’ll be real I do not love seeing advertisements every 2 mins, it makes it very difficult to enjoy, I get you’re gonna have to make money of this but 15+ ads in one video is a lot, love ❤
Thank You so much for your videos!!!! I found who I think is the love of my life and I want to go into this being as prepared as possible. He’s such a good man and sometimes I feel he's too good to be true. Its been a year and a half with no intimacy (although he's admitted to being with other woman lol.) but he hasn't pressured me and I respect him for that. Anyways Im happy and you helped me answer a lot of questions i've had.
Stephen you are a great story teller and guide for me to listen to. Where are the You's out here
So true! It is about them
There is a syndrome out there unknowing to men
I call it the SNAP syndrome ie quick transformation from friends
to lovers
Thanks Stephan for yet another REALITY video
I’m glad you found it helpful
Men should not allow females friends to call at very late times if is in a relationship. I only have one other person of the opposite gender that calls me outside of my Simba, but I do not allow him to ask me whatever he wants, nor call me late even though Simba and I are long distance currently. I do not hang out with the other person and etc. Also I have told my Simba this before, but it is his responsibility to remember this. If he has an issue with that then he needs to communicate that to me.
🙏
@MeetStephanSpeaks My Simba is confusing me at the moment with his communication...knows how I prefer to communicate, etc. He's communicating, but I need him to speak directly to me...not everyone else.
Simba?
@kimberlyturner820 Yes...I call my man Simba, but he's the grown version of him beyond the Pumba and Timon phase when he came to his senses.😊
What about if she calls/texts in the middle of the day? Then it’s okay? You are making this seem way more clear cut than it is. It’s not about the time of day, it’s about the nature of their connection, content, and frequency. If his closest friend happens to be female (yes, some guys can do platonic opposite sex friendship), you are in no position to demand that he kiss his most important friendship goodbye.
Some people can't handle the straight forward truth.
They say I am condescending. I just say what needs to be said at that moment to them.
I'm in the comments after the 1st minute of this video. 🧐😂😭🤣 I'm good on this topic. 🙄 Thank you.
Very insightful
Thank you very much
A man who loves God more than anything will not cheat. And of course who has a good women
*Woman
Lolllllll gym rats church goers biggest dodgy cheating men. Church is not for worship but for socialising and finding men/women like they do in clubs
Facts because my ex was unwilling to disconnect with ex’s and now he has babies with all of them after we broke up up
Excellent video!
Love this👏🏼💯❤️
Thank you very much 🙂
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you’re welcome 😉
When he doesn't want to let go. You let go
If he isn't willing to let go of women from his past, a good indication he is the non committal type? Guessing he's telling you without telling you....might be physically committed but guessing not emotionally available? Won't emotionally commit to anyone likely? I would likely guess he always likes to keep one foot in and one foot out, possibly on everything he does? Has there been ANYTHING he's fully committed to (a sport or a job as an example) if not, might be a red flag?
Social media is a big outlet for cheaters. Ex-girlfriend the one he fell in love with first will forever have a place in his heart.
@ that’s tough for anyone who comes after his first love!
@ well you would assume so. I actually fell into this trap when I was with a long time, girlfriend. My first love found me on social media and we’ve been together ever since it’s been almost 3 years now
I think that should be the obvious that it it's not ALL men, because there are faithful ones. There's always the red flags of a cheater, and a faithful man will make SURE he let's his woman know she is the only one in his world as a partner.
Well said 🙏
I honestly don’t believe all men cheat but, I also don’t believe that nothing just happens. Men/Women put themselves in certain situations where it’s possible that something can happen. It’s just not good. I personally don’t believe in cheating nor, do I believe in hanging onto old relationships. Thank you for the great videos!❤
10:59 you forgot to cut this part😂🙈🙈
You don't have to choose me, but I respect a man who will cut me off. I understand that he can have trepidations and regrets, but get closure, then embrace the choice you made. God can bless all relationships even those He didn't ordain. In a different time or opportunity, I would never want a man who cheats on his wife.
Most*
The one i loved so deeply was too too good looking where i knew woman won't keep their hands off of him. What made me feel even worse was he knew he was good looking and love lots of women attention. I felt the battle in both directions and couldn't be bother i saw ways he treated a few of his exes and the lies and other women on the side. He lied in the relationship and cheat on her he would fo the same to me.
" he goes fix the computer but he ends up fixing something else " 😆😅
poor dude 🤣
Thanks!
Thank you so much Stephan for your insightful advice ☺️✨ Do you think that mental betrayal could be considered cheating? I’m in a long-distance relationship, and he once mentioned that it might be better to think of his girlfriend for sexual release, though he didn’t say it very clearly. Sometimes, I’m not sure if he only thinks of me, as he used to have a habit of watching adult content every night, but he says he’s stopped now. Should I consider this mental betrayal as cheating??
😂😂😂Labossiere what did you say? He dont want the smoke🤣😂🤣. That was funny sweetheart 😂😂😂. Keep going❤🙏🙌.
Thank you
@MeetStephanSpeaks the pleasure is mine❤🙏🙌
Stephan, got a job and was terminated due to conflict of interest. I left happy and peacefully
Kind of felt like a man there in my department was my husband or someone who I’d seriously let into my heart. I let his gentle pursuits un responded to (when he passed by my desk twice when on the phone with a manager and other sweet opportunities for engagement) but due to not wanting to let my nosie coworkers into my secret crush I ignored him. Now I’m well connected with a coworker of his who was also in my department. Do you think it would be too forward or emasculating to send my number and a note through that coworker? Would hate to be gossiped about after leaving but I just can’t help it… I’ve never felt such sweetness from a man, such easy submission. We live in a local area where he can probably find me easily if he wanted to. I tried to give clues like my church that is really popular here. Unsure what to do. Any Advice?
Thank you
You're welcome 🙏
I would love to see a conversation between you and Chidera Eggurue on this topic
Triggered at 1min
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Keep watching..it gets better lol 🙏
LAAAAAAWD!☀️
Waiting for mi amor!
If a man shows you who he is believe him. Been there with a liar and manipulater 😂 Now since more than 5 years happy and married ❤
One of my suitors starting adding my female friends and relatives on social media before I could even introduce any of them to him. I had posted a picture of my elder sister wearing a short stripped dress and a few days later I noticed he'd added her to his friends list. I cut him off immediately because why would he be interested in adding a person I haven't even introduced him to.
Mr. Stephan as a married woman. Can you truly forgive a so called husband that has cheated on you before? Is that even possible? I’m really hurt that he cheated to my core, I’m a really good woman, but I’m also hurt by who and what he cheated on me with! Now, I don’t trust or believe anything that comes out of his mouth! We’re still together, but I don’t think it will ever be the same. I completely hate him now! I don’t think I deserved that! And it really hurts!!
Why be with someone you hate? It hurts now but it will hurt worse when he either cheats on you again or you use precious energy being insecure and stressed about the possibility he cheats again. You deserve better. You deserve happiness and not settled for someone you Hate
@morrisgoss1858 It is Biblically possible to forgive anyone. In fact, it is the will of God to do so to set ourselves free. However, forgiving doesn't necessarily mean forgetting or staying in the same situation, though. It also doesn't mean that your feelings immediately go away. I think that is where people get confused about forgiveness.
They do
i want one of those😢
A God fearing man would NEVER cheat. Not because he is so in love but because he is accountable and faithful to his God first. If he sins before God he knows God will hold him accountable. That's what my husband says anyway, and he also says if he was to think of drifting then he would just leave first. Makes sense.
As far as I’m concerned, there is no supreme being of any kind. I am an atheist. And yet, I don’t cheat. No one needs a supreme being to manage their behaviour and hold them accountable for it. You can also just be respectful enough of your partner not to betray them, it’s really not that hard to do.
This whole idea that belief in a supreme being somehow makes you worthy is utter bullshit. The same as belief (or pretend belief, it’s quite common) in a supreme being is used as motivation to do good, it is also used as an excuse to be horribly abusive.
I respect your belief, hopefully it does make you a better person. Just don’t pretend that "godliness" is what makes a person faithful. Stop trying to make the rest of us out to be morally inferior because we don’t share your faith.
@Gomba13 I'm talking about a man who fears HIS God not people who don't believe in God. And I've been married since I was 18 I'm now 28 we are both faithful to God and love God. I can only speak to women who also believe I don't speak for people who don't believe.
It’s funny how men don’t think ahead, but if the tables were turned, he would easily see the issue. For example, if a male friend of mine were to call me late at night and tell me he needed help with something and I go help him. He could see it then, but he don’t see it when his female friend calls late at night for help..
Yeah, keeping up all them dang lies would be cause of stress for most people. Especially when it starts to get so bad, you can't keep them lies straight anymore lol. Or even worse, you start believing ur own lies & get caught up!!!! Js😂😂😂🤣🤔😁
18:11 I’m sorry he’s not being honest at the point he’s not being wise. I don’t think any decent man who respects his woman would go to another lady’s house or something at night.
A man won't cheat on you if he has compassion and if he truly respects you and himself.
Don't allow his to disrespect you when you feel he isn't being respectful
It's the same for a woman. My opinion!
Agreed
Leave him if he insists on keeping old female friends….it never works ladies and why should it
How did i end up with the wrong person😢😢😢
Unfortunately it happens to most people. Focus on healing first, and everything gets better from there 🙏❤️
@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you Steph. I am trying. Some marriages can not be saved so I have to prepare myself
I can’t stand it when a man keeps their exes in their lives. I don’t want them in my life. Lol.
I think the word you might use when speaking about people who are "about themselves" or narcissistic is self-centered. It’s neat because it includes extreme narcissists but also mentally healthy people who tend to make things about themselves a bit more than the average person and people who are particularly selfish, and everything in between, without any armchair diagnosis or stigma.
@Gomba13 I like this comment so much because I feel like a carnal diagnosing spirit often surrounds the use of that "n" word and it has become such a dead cliche, so much so that I don't even like saying the whole word. I can't even sit through a Stephan video with n********* in the title. I have tried, but I just can't go there. Stephan and the people who like that will have to have their own club with that one.
@@JStig12 Narcissism is not a mental illness, NPD is. In fact, everyone is narcissistic to a certain extent, and that's as it should be. Not being narcissistic at all is as bad as being overly narcissistic. A healthy person needs self-esteem, and that self-esteem's roots are mostly social interactions: compliments and attention. Narcissism is a perfectly neutral concept, it is finding yourself in one extreme or the other of it that is bad.
I believe what you are saying. If I’m done I’m done. It says his woman is insecure if she has a problem with his friend
🙏
I personally don't understand how women end up with these narcissists, & i'm being forreal here. I've known a few, & worked with a few, but if i was ever dating a man where that mask came off & he was pulling those wild antics??? That's a one & done for me. I'm just curious if any women on here actually has been thru that sort of thing??🤯🥴🤫🤷🏼♀️
I’ve had a few narcissistic-like men/toxic men in my life who cared more about having control over me vs actually humanizing me/loving me as a person. That being said I don’t stay long enough for them to do damage long term. I’m a bit more on the rational side of things/detached. I feel my emotions but my pride is not always having to prove a point like the men I’ve come across. Once I understood that men are much more insecure/needy, & are ego driven than a woman it all made sense on learning how to handle them. Most of them don’t really mean what they say they have a hard time following through with what they’re projecting 9/10. I’ve noticed this by ignoring them, they tend to fold early. 😂 they can’t take what they dish literally. While a woman can. Once they sensed I had a strong mind/emotionally grounded…they’d double down or scatter like a roach. Since they underestimated me often times because of my demeanor I use the one thing that hurts them forreal: my mouthpiece is lethal & I don’t even have to curse lol
@eli30013 Girrrrrlllll. I love this lol. Some of these men these days are wild. The dating scene sure has changed, and that is for sure!😆👌🏾😁
Men should not be going over single women home very late. It just sends the wrong message. Some women are very loose, and if they see someone attractive they will go after it.
That's human
@ChaqerraPrunty-bh2gl Human or not..Trifling is just trifling and self control is much needed at all times.
@@TawandaClark-ii9ps it's in the nature for men to go after what they want trifling or not that's all I'm getting at.
@ChaqerraPrunty-bh2gl Well regardless women have enough sense to know that just, because a guy approaches you it doesn't mean you have to. 🤷🏾
@ChaqerraPrunty-bh2gl Self-control..is for both genders hon is what I mean..
im with a guy he is so good with me but sometimes he isnt honest with others..what should i do?
i love him and i told him and he said he will make it better..but i dont do..
When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time❤
Nooo Stephan why you drop this when Im on a deadline!!
As a woman who has been approached by married men, I don’t believe you.😂
Ladies. Don't fall for the playing stupid part tho. That man knowssss. Shit🤣🤔😂😆😁✌🏾
A liar is a liar
I have a guy I been dealing with for years. Won’t cut exes off I know he’s lied and tried to cheat, swear he hasn’t ever slept with anyone. Good things love my kids pampers me when I’m around makes sure I don’t need anything, and make sure my girls have what they need. But always keeps women in the phone, habitually chases women, it leaves me so confused. Because he looks at how he hasn’t slept with someone else, not a risk taker, pretty homebound. I try to give him what he needs but he doesn’t even like me to approach him with sex, he like to be the one to initiate. Old fashioned I guess. 😢 I’m in a space of am I crazy for not cutting him off
🙏🏾
Girllll oh Girlllllll oh Girlllllllll !!!!
@ smh I know 😩😩
My goodness , that's a project
@@user-fh1tr9zp3l girlll hard right ?
second!!
I appreciate that 🙏
a man won't cheat if he has these 5 traits....
watching and listening to Stephan!!!!
2 men who are happy and you can tell they don't cheat; ICE T AND COCO...RUSS AND CIARA..
i think this is the same with women.
First
Lol
Thank you for watching 🙏
Let me say something..no one in this world 🌍 doesn't leave perfectly.every one learned by their mistakes
Hi. Liked it all but “Not a risk taker” ? -
so…. Don’t date entrepreneurs? You yourself are an entrepreneur… you lost me there brother.
And timid guys … some are so insecure they are destructive & will do other things.
Can a man be ambitious at work but not look for the next big thing in his personal life?
What he meant to say was not all men cheat because all men do not cheat means that there are no male cheater...
The past is the best predictor for the future.....
A man that did not cheat before you met him, will not cheat afterwards.
That isn’t necessarily true
Says who ?? never say never
Yes in general and vice versa if he was a cheater before we met he will cheat in the new relationship. These are people with these particular characters traits. Get to know peoples character, avoid them for relationships sake. They lie, cheat, will steal, creepy and very secretive etc.
Hey Stephan, have you ever felt tempted to legally change your name to Stephen since it gets misspelled that way often on here? 😂
Correction; not all men cheat.
Your editor missed a second take. ❤
I love my Simba with all of my heart. However.. I wish he will not just get quiet during our conversations out of nowhere without me understanding why.
He want u too be quiet and give him some peace
@ChaqerraPrunty-bh2gl I prefer him to tell me, because he has a mouth of his own, doesn't need anybody else like you to speak for him..K😊
@TawandaClark-ii9ps u the one that came on here to broadcast your business and relationship issues and now it's a problem 😒 He probably doesn't feel safe hence why he isn't talking to u. You should be talking to him not ppl here take some advice without getting offended sometimes @TawandaClark he probably knows u going jump down his throat soon as he gives his opinion tune in to him ijs
Crazy than hell😆😆😆😘
@user-fh1tr9zp3l Lol
AS A EXOTIC DANCER I ALWAYS TRY TO GET WOMEN TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN MEN GO SEE OTHER WOMEN NAKED IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS GFRIEND BUT HIMSELF...
The laugh shows the lie 😂anyone including women can cheat