Stop Cat Rehome Shaming and Guilt
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
- Stop shaming people that need to rehome their cat. You likely don't know the full situation and sometimes the cat will be much better off rehomed than trying to make it work.
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When I rehomed my 2 cats, it was so painfully difficult. I was so overwhelmed by shame that I didnt tell anyone I knew. I was aware i wouldnt be able to handle the guilt of family or friends judging.
Both cats are in AMAZING homes now and happy as can be! Once the grief passes, the relief of knowing they are safe and loved is wonderful!
I have two that I'm thinking about rehoming but they've been together since birth. I don't know how I could separate them.
@@part1801 same its soo hard i can't stop crying.
Thank you, its bad enough having to rehome them after a marriage breakdown without people making you feel guilty on top of everything else. I've had some awful comments and couldn't feel any sadder but I trust they will go to a good home and be happy again.
You're welcome. Life is hard sometimes and not everyone is kind. Sounds like you made the right choice for the cats, even though very difficult.
I'm trying go rehome my two cats because my living situation changed and I entered a group for adoptions and everybody gave me crying emogies and said nothing. But everybody was adopting kittens, they wanted them very young with specific colours. I just thought, wow... If this people loved cats so much and really wanted to help them, they wouldn't just ignore adult cats. Mine are rescues and I took care of them for eight years until now, even when I can't anymore. It just made me think about double standards.
Yes I had the same thing happen with my two….this also makes it very hard to give them up not knowing if they will actually be adopted based on their ages. It’s VERY stressful
Thank you for your words.
Husband and I made the decision to surrender our 2 cats back to the shelter. We are both struggling with the guilt.
We have tried our best to provide a loving home but these two boys are stressed and anxious. We are not the right owners for them.
At least got respite from the small shelter they were at.
Rocko sure is handsome, affectionate, and loud-purring! He loving the affection. May he find a loving permanent home very quickly. As long as the CAT is the priority, it's good.
Thanks. He is a very nice cat!
I’m so glad I came across your video. I’m currently having to seriously consider Rehoming one of my two girls. They are sisters and we’ve had them since 11 weeks old. Last year they started fighting out of the blue, so we separated and got them back together, although their relationship was not the same. Now it’s happened again, we’ve had to separate them and this time it seems worse. One of our girls is very scared and defensive whenever she sees her sister. It’s heartbreaking. However we’ve noticed that they both seem so much calmer and relaxed when they’re on their own. This had led us to the possible conclusion that they may both be happier in single cat households. It’s a very difficult decision and we are going to take our time to fully weigh up the pros and cons.
it is a very difficult decision. sounds like you will make the best choice for the cats.
I’m going through the same exact thing! My one will be going to his new home this week and it’s heart breaking and I’m struggling with it but I know it’s for the best.
@@homework8680 I cried for days. It was very hard, but I knew it was best as well.
There's a page on here called senior cat wellness, he has a video called `I regret rehoming my cat` it's helped me a lot. We have 7 cats, momma (5yrs) and her 6 boys(4 yrs). We rescued mom, she got pregnant and we kept the boys. Due to financial issues we're renting a small room (8x10) from my parents and they struggle in the small space. Due to health issues we'll be here longer than planned. It breaks my heart but they would be better off in other homes. We can't provide them the freedom they deserve.
Thank you I took one in and I can't deal with this anymore..he's been nurtured and not only is he not working out he's hurting me badly 😢 scratches nauseated I'm very sad and sick over this but it must happen tomorrow 😢 thanks r posting this realky helped today.
I’m sorry. I hope you and the cat are happier now.
I was looking for a video that gives me a genuine reason not to feel bad because I have 4 Cats and My Toxic Home environment has pushed me to the point that I need to move out, but unfortunately i cannot take them with me and it breaks my heart because ive had them for 5 years and i have serious trust issues with people...
I am sorry to hear about the toxic environment and that you will need to rehome the cats. I hope things get better for you, and although very hard, it sounds like you are making the right choice for the cats.
@@Thejoyofcats thank you, I am trying my best but it hurts so much because they're my literal family, my emotional support, they've been there for me when no one else was. But deep in my heart I know my Home environment was just as bad for them as it was for me, and I just want them to be able to have a better happier life as much as I want it for myself. It makes me angry and frustrated that I cannot take them with me. Im traveling to the US and my Dad and Step Mom are Allergic. Either way it was not possible for them to come with me :( (sorry, I was venting for a bit there)
@@jessmjfan989 sounds like you have thought about this a lot. Giving up your best cat friends will be hard. 💜
You are so right! I have been living with 2 female adult cats that don't get along for almost a year...I have to separate them because otherwise one will be seriously harmed. It breaks my heart just having to think about rehoming one. I love them both very very much. I have paid a behavorist and we are trying really hard since April...but it is not working.
Plus, the agressor have accepted my other cat ( I have 3) so I could NEVER have guessed that she would not accept my third one. I have read Jackson's Galaxy book, TOTAL cat Mojo, I have tried everything! Even pheromones and natual products, catification, site swapping, eat-play-love etc. I am destroyed and heart broken because I think it is my only option left....💔
It sounds like you've done everything possible to try to get the cats to get along. I think some cats want to be an only cat no matter what. It sounds heartbreaking for you.
❤ thank you
I had to rehome my baby. He's an awesome boy and required lots of outdoor time but I was gone for work from 6am to 6pm literally and when I had to move the landlords all said not to pets so I rehome him. It was so so so heartbreaking but, it was in his best interest. His new mom is home all the time and I'm sure she'll give him the best of the best a cat can have. While I still feel like a looser and the worst mom ever he's, without a doubt, in a better place. 🐈⬛
Sounds like a very tough situation, but also seems like you made the right choice for your cat. Thank you for sharing your story.
My landlord got a cat and left the area after two months, so I started caring for it. However, I have never taken on a cat as I knew I was living in this country temporarily. Now my landlord who used to visit for half the year every year, is now sick and has had to leave for I don't know how long. I have to return to my country to care for my parents. I have had to put the cat into a no-kill shelter that is very nice.. but I still feel so utterly gutted - I can't stop crying and feel depressed. I love that cat but there's nothing else I can do. My parents won't accept the cat and it's more than 3000 miles away. I really wish the cat well and hope it finds it's forever home with kind people. I hope the cat isn't too sad right now waiting for the next step to happen.
My male constantly sprays. Last night I put him outside. It's either re-home him or he becomes an outdoor cat.
Thank you ❣️
Thankyou
I tried to find a good home for my two cats who are brother and sister from same litter and whom I’ve had for almost 9 years but couldn’t. Just dropped them off today at a no kill shelter, they looked scared and confused as to what was happening, and my daughter and I have bawled our eyes out off and on today. I feel just sick about it even though my heart has been in the right place and I’m hoping they find a better home. I’m extremely worried though as they told me they do free feeding there and they only eat wet food as both cats have had issues with vomiting, constipation and urinary blockages so I’m really worried that they may get sick from this free feeding. 😢 I want nothing more then a better home for them but what if I was providing the best care already for them 😢. I am trying to be at peace with my decision as it took me awhile to get to this decision due to behavioral issues that were stressing me out. Now I’m torn…..I feel like a part of me is gone, they were my babies. 😭😭😭
I'm sorry for all that you've been through. Giving up cats is extremely hard. Hopefully the shelter will adopt them out as a bonded pair.
@@Thejoyofcats yes me too, not sure if they will but 🙏. I do appreciate your video as it helped soothe my anxiety. Needed to feel as though I’m not alone in all of this so ty.
😭😭😭I understand the pain. I hope the found perfect houses. You're brave to have made that decision
i had too rehome 3 kittens and people were giving me grief online i couldn't afford to have them all vaccinated and fixed prior to adopting them out.
I am sorry that people treated you poorly when finding homes for the kittens. Sounds like you were doing the right thing for them. 💜
It’s the same way in my local community groups as people fear people taking the kittens for dog fighting or snake food. But those aren’t issues when properly screening adopters.
Ty for this. Im in so much pain and googling how to greive or cope . 3 yrs . Then she ran away in a unfamiliar area. She hid in the McDonald's garbage area. Since i was sleeping outside in my car i kept calling her name for a few hours. I finally fell asleep in the car and sure enough she found her way back to the spot she ran from. She had a whole new love for me after that because i know she was scared and she didn't if i was going to leave or stay. I d don't even know if cats think that way. Anyways it was 2 a.m. when I heard her hop on the roof of the car. That was a huge milestone for us. Then because of my mental illness and hyperhydrosis left her on the porch of the ARF next St.Sophias in Wheaton. I didnt even say bye. It was for the best because the reason why im homeless is because my former landlird grew tired of my impatience.
hi got my cat pepper from a care home
it was young kids so the lady had to re home her
i am her 2nd one
note she love older people big time
re homing a cat can be hard work
i just let her do her thing quiet space once o had her and food
when they are ready you will know big time
i had to wait some time 12 weeks
she used to come out alot a night
when i was in bed
a big tip put up cctv and i can see what she
was doing at night
she came from a home in the uk
there's no need to re home
the only thing kids is the thing i find
pepper doe's not like
We were evicted. None of the landlords would accept a cat. We could have been homeless together, sure, but even a motel wouldn’t let us stay with a cat. My darling, whom I loved with all my heart and soul, deserved a warm bed. Good food. A nice garden to play in. My darling did not deserve to be homeless - I refused to let her live like that. I gave my angel to a shelter, and she was soon adopted by a kind family. I called to see how she was doing a number of times. I kept her for as long as I could before we moved out. I had her for 8 years, which at the time was basically half of my life. I still ache horribly when I think about her, and any pictures of her make me cry. I don’t regret my decision - both of us are thankfully housed now, an outcome that wouldn’t have been possible if we stayed together. But even after all these years, the pain does not fade. I will never recover from that loss. I did not “give away” or “get rid of” my cat. I saved her from homelessness, and made sure she was safe. But I will never stop crying for her. I loved her, deeper than I have ever loved any mere person. She was one in a million - my sun, my moon and my stars. I hope she does not miss me. I miss her enough for the both of us.
Your situation back then sounded very tough.
Dear Mrsqueaks, you were an amazing mama to your sweet baby. Your baby knows how much you loved her. And one day, your baby and you will meet again in heaven. God created both your kitty and you, and you will have the bond forever. I know how you feel. How the connection with our cat is unlike anything we could ever have with another human because humans are limited in our ability to love unconditionally. Hope your kitty is happy, and your kitty will want you to be happy. You set it free to find a good life, and now you deserve to have a good life too. God will protect your kitty no matter what for eternity.
We've tried everything to get cat to let us sleep at night. Nothing works.
we can't survive on 2 hours of sleep night after night after night. We also have health problems and are unable to take care of cats and take care of ourselves.
We've had cat for 15 yrs and she started this behavior a yr ago. Yes we/ve been to vet. Had her on sedatives etc etc.
We wake up ( if we sleep at all) angry and crying and tired. Plz no judgements.
Your situation sounds very difficult. :(
@@Thejoyofcats we decided not to rehome her. Poor kitty . Its not her fault.
I know this video is over 3 years old but I'm having to rehome my cat tomorrow and I'm absolutely distraught about it. I got him when he was a kitten about (3 months old) and when I was not in a great mental space and he pulled me out of that in addition to therapy. I don't want to rehome him but at the same time, I've literally tried everything within my power to keep him. I simply don't have the skills to fix the problems he has and no one is willing to take him since my living situation is a no go. He's peed on literally every big piece of furniture in my mothers house, my place when I was living with roommates and now my girlfriends stuff (always the mattress and couch). I've replaced my own bed 3 times because of this. My mother lost her huge couch she just got and my girlfriend had to throw out her couch because of my cat literally the other day. I've tried the pheramone stuff and negative association as well as blocking off certain areas of the house and trying different litters and making sure it was clean every day but to no avail. He might have better luck with someone who can take the time and patience to actually fix this problem and have money to have him actually have a vet do more tests. I don't have the money or space but I wish I did. He's such a good cat otherwise. It's like he's dying but he's not. I hate it.
I still read all the comments.
Your situation sounds difficult with your cat. Sometimes a new home is the best choice for the cat even though it’s tough to do at the time.
He could have medical condition. Or maybe would do better in a quiet home with not many other people. Some cats get stressed out more easily than others.
I am not a behavior expert. So just tossing out ideas and sorry you are going through this. Obviously you love your cat very much.
I have two cats that have been together since I rescued them. I need to rehome them but I feel they need to stay together
This really sucks just thinking about it
What about you having this cat a Short time, and for the long term you know already know that the living situation for the cat wont fit to the cat and owner. I have her fot a week but i am really doubting if this was the right time to take her..i tought my family support me, but not really and i am still at this time of my life when everything is not so sure. So idk she seems happy but i still Think she deserves beter. Feeling really stressed and guilty about this makes me depressed. I wont give up so easy but i dont wanna feel depressed and stressed al the time, i hope this feeling will change.
I am sorry that having the cat isn’t working out as you had hoped. Maybe give it more time, but I agree with making the best decision for the cat even if that means rehoming or taking back to the adoption place.
I've had mine for 3 weeks and I don't feel like it's a lifetime thing I want to deal with. I have horrible anxiety at the thought of keeping him and giving him back to adoption place
@@gingerwest3426I'm having THE exact situation.
@@gingerwest3426 hi, what did you end up doing? I'm in a similar situation
Yes well said 🐾
Can you help me understand why rehoming a Kitten is a $400 fee? For an average shorthair, not an exotic type either. This person wanted me to first send them $50 as a deposit!
Is this normal? Why so expensive?
This doesn’t sound normal to me. Almost sounds like a scam. I would recommend checking with sellers or rescues in your area to see how much their fees usually are for comparison.
Wow I was asked to give a donation, but not required.
It should be last resort, but certainly nothing wrong with rehoming cat if circumstances might change in life and somehow things just can't be worked out. But it is very very important to make sure cat is rehomed them the proper way, to someone you know or else to a good animal shelter or cat shelter that knows how to match cat with right person. Shaming is just people being judgmental of other people whom they don't have sufficient knowledge of because they're not in their shoes.
Thank you for this. I may have to rehome my cat due to personal health reasons and I feel so guilty and angry :'(
I’m in the same situation.
Same here 😢
Me too. My anxiety is over the top with a kitten.
Don't get a cat if you can't take responsibility for it. There are legitimate excuses, but also a sea of bad ones. So, if in doubt, don't get a cat!
Yes had rehome a dog and a rabbit was awful but was best for ever
Crual selfish ppl.
Gross
How do you feel about cat breeders?
I have to do this & it is terrible.
I have to.
Im so sorry.