LES GOH. Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 03:44 Understanding Charisma 09:17 Charlie’s Biggest Influences 13:17 Definition of Introvert & Extrovert 21:21 The Problem with Hustle Culture 29:50 Principles for Charismatic Communication 37:13 Charisma Lessons from Russell Brand 41:13 How to Overcome Shyness 48:36 How to Flirt with Women 59:32 How to Add Humour into a Conversation 1:07:59 Ben Shapiro & The Problem with Modern Debating 1:12:52 How Charlie Got His Whole Family to Take MDMA 1:23:57 Opportunities to Reprogram Yourself 1:41:54 Where to Find Charlie
Totally agree - if your strong opinions are held loosely, I feel like that says that you’re not afraid. You’re eager to take on new information and learn, otherwise your opinions wouldn’t be strong in the first place.
That doesn't work in the long term. That was me 100% but my wife is now my ex-wife b/c I never had a firm opinion about anything, didn't think things were worth discussing, never made firm decisions, often answered with "whatever". Beware the loose/loose combo.
00:00 🏋 Charisma is like fitness; most people neglect it, but a small effort can make you stand out. 03:51 🧠 Charisma has various styles: high conviction (e.g., Conor McGregor), authentic (e.g., Joe Rogan), funny (e.g., Kevin Hart), energetic (e.g., Will Smith), and empathetic (e.g., Oprah Winfrey). 06:10 🔄 Changing yourself for charisma isn't self-betrayal; it's evolving to be the best version while retaining your essence. 08:30 💪 Personality is shaped by past experiences; evolving involves unlearning patterns from younger years. 11:45 📚 Books like "Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" emphasize that confidence is earned through behavior, not an inherent birthright. 14:47 🔄 Introversion and extroversion are about where you get energy; it's fluid, influenced by both genes and experiences. 17:18 🔄 Unintended consequences: Pursuing constant socializing for charisma can create anxieties and new neuroses; true choice is essential. 19:13 🔄 Be cautious about dedicating yourself to certain pursuits in your early years (18 to 25), as they may become obstacles later. Consider the potential challenges of unwinding commitments. 21:48 🔄 Advantages in one phase of life can become obstacles in the next. Recognize when the strategies that brought you success need to be reevaluated and adapted for future growth. 23:13 🔄 The video discusses concerns about "hustle culture," emphasizing the importance of working effectively over working harder. Balancing life and avoiding burnout is crucial. 30:06 🤔 When initiating a conversation, set the vibe a level higher than necessary to be a conversational leader. Avoid literal responses to common questions and provide multiple hooks for the other person to connect with. 31:18 🔄 Instead of answering questions literally, offer responses that provide interesting hooks for the other person to connect with, creating more engaging and dynamic conversations. 34:04 🔄 Breaking away from implicit social norms in the workplace by injecting fun into interactions can foster human relationships, leading to professional success. 35:42 🔄 Charisma levels are not infinitely malleable, but anyone can considerably improve their charisma. Not everyone can transform drastically, but improvement is achievable. 37:21 💬 Russell Brand's charisma principles include treating everyone flirtatiously, using a push-pull dynamic in communication, and exhibiting unpredictability, suggesting authenticity. 38:57 💬 Russell Brand's unpredictability in responses adds authenticity, making him fascinating to listen to. The ability to switchbetween jokes and sincere, value-driven answers makes his communication style captivating. 39:25 🎭 Authenticity is crucial; some public figures may raise questions about their true selves if their stories always have the same punchline. 40:08 🤝 Russell Brand excels in authentic communication, maintaining curiosity and playfulness even in political or spiritual disagreements. 41:35 🦸♂ Overcoming shyness involves progressive exposure therapy; start by saying one extra sentence to lower the filter on what's acceptable to express. 43:28 🗣 Finish sentences with the same decibel level you started; practice deliberate conversational assertiveness for shy individuals. 45:20 🔄 Balancing deliberate skill-building with being in the flow ofconversation is crucial for growth in communication. 46:45 ⏰ Deliberate practice, similar to Tiger Woods rebuilding his swing, may involve stepping back initially to improve conversational skills. 48:41 💬 Principles for men communicating attractively to women: show interest, have genuine standards, and manage sexual tension. 54:16 🌐 In small talk, focus on playful world-building; engage in improvisational fantasy scenarios to create a fun and flirty vibe. 56:24 🚀 When discussing your job, speak to your values rather than just logistics; share what drives you and your life philosophy. 57:59 🌐 Most men go wrong by not engaging in conversation; they often disqualify themselves before speaking, missing opportunities for genuine connection. 58:55 🌐 Flirting with the world, being outgoing and friendly habitually, creates a powerful social presence that feels natural and engaging. 59:22 🤣 Adding humor to conversations involves having both a genuine answer and a playful response to common questions, providing a balance of authenticity and lightheartedness. 01:00:56 😄 An easy way to inject humor is by saying the opposite of what people expect, creating unexpected moments that induce laughter. 01:01:24 🎭 Prime yourself for humor by watching content from comedians you enjoy before social interactions, influencing your mindset and conversation style. 01:02:34 🤩 Tim Dillon is praised for his rapid and clever humor, showcasing the value of quick-wittedness in communication and comedy. 01:03:17 🎭 Improv comedy classes are recommended for those serious about developing humor, offering valuable skills in world-building, quick thinking, and comedic timing. 01:04:41 🗣 Effective communicators like Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, and Bill Clinton excel in storytelling and creating a sense of safety for open conversation. 01:07:30 🌟 Kevin Hart's ability to command attention and lead conversations, even with a significant height difference, highlights his exceptional communication skills. 01:09:01 💬 In debates, using humor strategically, as seen in Ben Shapiro's tactics, can be powerful in discrediting opponents and winning social approval. 01:12:05 😄 Stephen Fry's ability to inject humor into debates can bridge gaps and humanize individuals with opposing views, fostering better understanding. 01:13:57 🌈 Psychedelic therapy, particularly with MDMA, facilitated significant positive changes in Charlie's life, leading to transformative family experiences and a sense of purpose. 01:17:28 🌌 Exploring the concept of psychedelic therapy is recommended, acknowledging it may not be suitable for everyone but emphasizing its potential for profound personal growth. 01:19:40 🔄 Early childhood experiences, especially in the family, shape one's understanding of concepts like love and power, forming lifelong "accents" in these areas. 01:20:22 🤝 Recognizing and respecting parental wisdom, even if they lack knowledge in modern technologies, is crucial for personal growth and avoiding the dismissal of valuable advice. 01:21:47 🔄 Life involves a continual process of self-discovery, where what serves you at one stage may become problematic later. The challenge is to navigate these changes and find a balance. 01:23:09 💔 Overcompensating to avoid past pains can lead to unhealthy behaviors, and the willingness to experience discomfort is essential for personal growth. 01:25:40 💰 Achieving financial and other goals may not provide lasting fulfillment; the mindset and thought patterns play a crucial role in one's happiness. 01:29:10 🤔 The pursuit of goals can become an endless cycle if not grounded in self-awareness, leading to perpetual dissatisfaction and the constant moving of goalposts. 01:31:55 🔄 Anticipatory beings, humans often find the most enjoyment in the anticipation of events, and dissatisfaction is inherent in our nature. 01:34:56 🔄 Unrealistic idealism is wired into human nature, and recognizing that the imagined satisfaction of an experience will always exceed the reality can lead to a more content life. 01:37:15 🔄 Pursuing external validation, such as charisma and social approval, may not significantly enhance one's subjective experience of life; the real joy often lies in appreciating the present moment and reality. 01:40:55 💡 The journey towards enlightenment involves navigating disappointment and frustration rather than achieving a state of perpetual satisfaction.
Having something interesting to say exponentially creates charisma. This comes from actually developing an interesting value, be knowledgeable, be valuable, be interesting
@stenobro well you tell me.. With all of these institutions running at full steam, are you feeling very compelled by them? I would argue "get woke go broke" would put that paper tiger to rest. Pretiege only gets you as far as the shit hitting the fan. This is true of all things. A war zone being one example and woke ideology being another. One is real the other is far from it. One always dissolves the other no matter how established your brand or self belief, when it comes down to somthing tangible and real the strawman falls apart.
“Self-esteem is your reputation with yourself” “Your nature is not pre-determined, but it is pre-disposed” “The advantages of one phase in your life will be then obstacles in the next” “Strong opinions held loosely, not loose opinions held strongly” “It is far easier to achieve your material desires than to renounce them” Wow... This podcast had way to many quotable mic-drop moments. Great listen! Thanks for this you two!
The Bill Clinton thing is true. I was one of those people in a line to meet him and he absolutely made every single person I could see, have that important moment with him. Every single person thought he was so warm and comfortable. He hardly had to say anything to convey that feeling. He had that air. And just saying “thank you” he made it feel so genuine. It’s like he is so comfortable in himself that he doesn’t need to say much to make you feel comfortable and important.
@@petestrouse7411 Chris is leagues above as an interviewer. In recent months, Rogan will take every guest off on the same irrelevant tangents, and rarely extract anything interesting or insightful from the guest.
@@georgelovell1 lol this is a prime example of toxic internet expectation that is so unrealistic. Do you think there is an unlimited amount of quality guests that always have something insightful to say? Rogan has done a lot of high level interviews and Chris himself is going upwards. Why can't people just enjoy both.
Learn to find people fascinating and you will draw most people to you. People really enjoy being seen and heard. Be open hearted and generous and you will have others respond the same way to you.
"Strong opinions held loosely not loose opinions held strongly" is what distinguishes a person with integrity vs. someone with none. Someone with strong beliefs for themselves yet is open to listen to different views, and does not superimpose them on others, is someone you want near. And a person who continuously change their stances/beliefs depending on how that benefit them in the moment via shapeshifting to appeal to different groups, yet quick to anger when others believe differently, is someone you want to get rid of as soon as possible.
A PSA to those with no integrity: "stop trying to get into the clubs using my name". Stop trying to associate with me (and others) for clout and for people to like you via association. Fudge off.
Funny thing is Russel Brand is obviously the latter but because he is charismatic people think he is the former, really speaks to the power of charisma
Peace be upon you all of you, Just like The Speaker from Charisma on command channel In my young days I was somewhat of a reserved during my teengage years and People would tell they Like my personality. I spoke often infront my peers and even got up to answer question at a conference of about 3000 people. But I benefited alot my channels like Coc and this one. To be more charismatic empathically, energitically and comedically For the young people reading this Go and own your charismatic self.
“It’s is almost a a natural law that the advantages of one phase of your life will be the obstacles of the subsequent one.” What a profound thought that really resonates with me
Being the eldest son for 5 siblings and 2 working class parents, when Charlie got to the part where he talks about his family it hit me on a very deep level I didn't know existed up until now. Thank you Chris for this podcast, it was amazing to listen to!
I never comment but this is worth my time. These are the two fellas, along with Ben, that have changed the way that I think and live. It's great to finally see this collab. This is the type of conversation that I strive for in my own life. I really appreciate the work that these two are doing. Thanks!
So cool listening to him admit that he's made it to the end of the rainbow and the pile of gold ain't all that. Hearing someone admit that their path/ program/ company ISN'T the end all be all to happiness is really refreshing.
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
I was thinking it would be great if you had talked to Charlie and/or Ben. I love charisma on command, it has given me tools in life that have made a real difference. They are both great!
I remember years ago when I started bartending and discovered Charisma on Command. Looking back on how many things I learned from Charlie and how useful they are to this day. Great interview, love the reminder to be present in life rather than anticipating the next dopamine hit
@ 27:04 I made this realization recently. I started writing down and reflecting on parts of my life that are already the way I want them to be (reflecting on gratitude, too) so that I'm already predisposed to identify that my life is good.
"self-esteem is your reputation with yourself" something that sounds so obvious once you've heard it. But I honestly never thought about it in that way. Great insight barely 10min into the video bodes well for rest of the interview :)
This is probably one of the best podcast episodes I’ve ever listened to! Thank you for this gem gentlemen. Will definitely be revisiting this one time and time again
"Guys with 0 standards" is a much much much broader category of men and "simps" is basically a minor subcategory within that broader category, is what I would say
Charisma: "compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others", or "a divinely conferred power or talent"... I almost feel like I have a form of charisma, if only the definition was broadened, to inspire hate and loathing in people; yet I know I am affecting them greatly with my mere presence and so feel I have charisma! Perhaps my idiolect has expanded the feeling the word "charisma" has on me! I guess charisma is the word to use when others aren't scared of you, and something else like psychotic or narcissist is used when people are scared of you!
Well depends on what you define as looking good. Do you mean natural model-esque good looks or do you mean self care to the point you look good. I think it goes hand in hand as in if you're taking care of yourself, people will find you more attractive. Self care goes a long way in looking good. Hygiene, style, diet, and activeness are all in your control. A natural 4 can go up to an 8 with the right clothes, self care routine, physique, and diet.
A lot of people walking around not understanding themselves or social cues. And when people reject you, you don’t know why and fall into depression or anger. This helps, but it’s so important to build a person’s emotional intelligence starting at childhood.
Why does this video have so few views ? what the hell, this has got to be one of the first podcasts I really want to rewatch because there was SO MUCH ground covered. Holy crap, too many lessons that could span a decade to truly understand. Thanks Chris.
@@Matt-nj4tt so for 20 years when he was in Hollywood, they had no problem with him. The second he starts calling out Hollywood, he is labelled as that. 1- where is the court date? Oh yeh, whoops, it never happened. 2- women’s names? Whoops. 3- brand. Trump. Rogan. Peterson. YOU NAME IT… if you’re Right wing they label you as having done something wrong to women. In fact, name me one mainstream right wing political commentator that hasn’t been accused of something against women . Considering you’re not gonna be able to name one, if that doesn’t tell you that all your pathetic left-wing child touching weirdos are throw out accusations to fool losers like you WITHOUT PROOF.
We all need to get better with leaving the marshmallows! Delayed gratification for something real and consistent. I love the dialogue here, so much wisdom, awareness and maturity! I love your talks! ❤I’m 51 and I’ve finally got better at enjoying the journey as well as the learning and humility from the suffering and struggles! 💯desire happens in the anticipation! 🎉
56:35 he’s absolutely spot on here, and this is the polar opposite when getting to know someone online… that’s why there is no connection or “spark”, it’s literally what he’s saying here
I love the fact he gets up 11am and doesnt paint some BS picture of an early start and grind. Nobody aspires to have a life like that. And he plays video games what a legend.
There seem to be a great many people who have spent years learning 'charisma' , so can persuade readily, but no effort at all into actually thinking or learning. AOC.
Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz is a great book if you want to make changes to your personality. Helped me become way more confident and lost the fear of asking women out.
This was a very relaxed and balanced conversation. These two speakers seem very confident in themselves and not defensive at all. I really enjoyed this, it was very comfortable to listen to, I didn't feel negative or tired once!
Great collab. Charisma is somehow both the easiest and the hardest thing to work on and definitely needs more of my intentional effort. Also, what a relief when a video podcast has excellent audio and visual quality.
This was extremely helpful for me. I’ve been struggling with the idea of sacrificing myself by acting in an intentionally tailored way for fear of losing who I am. Reframing it as new habits and skills and clarifying that it isn’t changing the core of who someone is. Thanks for the explanation.
The conversation at 28 minutes, reminds me of a quote from "The Orchid Thief" something along the lines of passionate focus on one topic prevents you from being overwhelmed by everything..
1:18:23 I just realized this has happened to me not so long ago, I'm 16 years old and have been on self improvement for a year now. I am kind of disappointed in my parents based on their life choices and actions, But I try to be as grateful for them as possible. The thought that they may not be there someday scares me. We need to remember to be grateful for everything in our lives. Peace and love✌
Near the end of the podcast Chris was talking about us being anticipatory creatures. He mentioned how the real thing was never as good as we imagined it to be. Though I understand the point, I’ve had plenty of experiences in which the opposite was true. When the real thing was better than I imagined it to be. And mostly what that has done has made me want you to do those things more. I don’t think feeling content and satisfied necessarily makes one complacent. It certainly can, but doesn’t have too. A tremendous day of skiing or mountain biking or time with my family always has me looking forward to the next time… and it doesn’t matter if the next time is as good or not… just getting to do it is a gift. Anticipation is a powerful emotion to create action, but I disagree that it is always better than the real thing. Thanks for a cool interview. Really enjoyed it.
somehow got the idea from random clips that this channel leans into mgtow/red pill and is not my cup of tea - now i’m really changing my mind! got all the content references and a lot of stuff discussed really spoke to me, you both were so good at listening and adding to each other’s points - the episode just flew by, so good and deep!
Mgtow and red pill are actually a bit different. Mgtow is people who refuse the presence of women in their lives, red pill is evolutional psychology and skepticism towards mass media.
4:01 Charisma is the ability to influence (the extent of which comes from how you come across visually/superficially through how you carry yourself and how you look 4:06 and audibly through your tone/attitude): if you wanna influence people you must believe (be passionate and convicted) what you are influencing them on. 4:44 It’s a lot like (honest) selling (or teaching), if you genuinely believe and are passionate about what you're selling it doesn’t feel like you're selling it, it feels like you're trying to give away gold. You’re convicted because your intent is to serve them. You have the most charisma/charm when you’re heart/intent is to serve (chipotle/teaching) because you’re confident (11/25 in notes, true confidence). You’re confident in those situations because: -you’re trying to give not take -you don’t need anything (you’re truly content, you’re not looking to get anything from them, you don’t have desperation, deprivation, or lack of contentment) -they trust you (and you trust you: confidence) because you are who you say you are (proved by action/work and displayed which is evidence) (you're not lying/posturing you're being sincere/honest/genuine/authentic and telling the truth so it comes naturally and isn't something you're trying to make up) 4:44|5:00 highly passionate, and convicted about what they believe/know 5:11 authentic and trustworthy. Tell the truth and state/follow your belief without fear, regardless of backlash/persecution. Not a yes-man/submissive to all (only submits to their virtues and principles). Stand for something, fall to nothing; stand for nothing, fall to everything. -Not afraid to be contradictory to the popular opinion, doesn’t always side with the group or do things the popular/established way, has their own original/unique input/ideas/plans/thoughts, and isn’t afraid to voice them. Not afraid to side with or support the unpopular way/opinion. (this is authenticity/honesty without fear, this is not being contradictory/disagreeable just to be against the grain for no reason). 5:31 varied joke types (not too much exaggeration, sarcastic, smart-Alek, as it makes you seem inauthentic if overdone, lean on the story/anecdote) Not cruel or jokes at anyone’s expense. Don’t be afraid to laugh loudly and explain things from your viewpoint of humor to share humorous perspectives with others. The goal is to have fun and make yourself laugh; others are just a side effect. 5:46 Have empathy, put yourself in other's shoes, try to see things the way they see them, and try to understand them, what makes them tick, their virtues and principles. This is warmth and charm. 10:34|10:50 Confidence/self-assuredness comes from evidence about yourself that you gather through repeated actions 13:26 Extroversion is a skill that can be learned through exposure/practice in social situations (tests) 15:25|15:48 Our nature does not predetermine only predisposes, nature vs nurture but nature only predisposes you, you decide (by your actions) what kind of person you are going to be 16:41|17:00 Never desperate/needy. Must have many options (must have the ability/competence/skills to easily get others) but choose not to out of principle/virtue (free will, true love). Desperation/neediness (and in some cases over-niceness/submissiveness: when you're afraid they'll leave or won't like you and your true opinions/choices/decisions) arises when you feel like you don't have a choice/options or that this is your only one. 23:07|24:23 Competitiveness is a spark that you have that you need to ignite and let be the engine that drives your business success, MJ, if it gives you drive use it. You have to want to win. You have to really want to win more than the guy who you're competing against. The guy that will try the hardest is the guy that feels more deprived of his goal, his goal isn't even a goal it's a need for survival. If I don't succeed I will die so I have to try my absolute true hardest, leaving no stone unturned. If you don't feel hungry, that is a maladaptation, and you will starve and die. Stay hungry or you will die. Stay hungry even if you have to artificially create hunger when you don’t feel it by depriving your flesh/feelings of what they need (by stopping giving in to them). Gun to my head: I am going to literally die (lose everything) if I don’t do this if I don’t get this in/done. -At the same time the work is also just the goal and I really enjoy working and becoming who I am building. I feel the worst when I am procrastinating/avoiding/relaxing or not doing work. I feel the best when I am working and making progress towards being better. The work (and the process of becoming) is my reward/fulfillment, so I'm not chasing some unattainable result, I achieve the result every night after a perfect day of doing everything I could've done to become the person I want to be.
I am discovering alot about myself pretty late in life. Conversations like this are helpful in exploring the different ways of thinking that have been successful for others and bring contrast to the lesser, more self destructive patterns I am working through. Thank you for putting this work out there for us. I wandered around the red-pill space for a while before I found your channel. You helped me sift what I found there for the wisdom it contains while leaving behind the anger and bitterness. You have a certain mindset that draws the best out of people, made starkly clear during your appearance on Rogan. I like his show, but his formula has become a bit stale, and you managed to bring back what we all loved about his podcast that may have been fading. Keep grinding Chris. You are inspiring progress in others that you may never be aware of, but is having a positive impact.
" For WHAT? WHY?, what got me into this and what KEEPS me in this, did I already achieve the THING that brought me here and if I did.... am I just gonna set more moving goal posts and convince myself that that's the game while living in a constant state of "I'm not there"..... Charlie man..... as much worth as most of your content man... good stuff still got it I see. This is was me destroying my body to train for a job.
Introversion and intelligence go hand in hand. People with high IQs are thinkers, who need time away from other people in order to do their thinking in peace and quiet. Quite often people with high IQs are highly observant of other people, and pick up on details they don't notice at the time, but later notice when reflecting on what they have seen and taken in with their senses without even being aware of it (it comes from having good visual memory). Facial expressions are one of those things that they might not pick up on immediately, but as long as they remember it correctly, they can figure it out later when thinking about it, as long as it is still fresh in their memories. Anyway, the point being, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, it is often a necessity, especially in the world we live in today that overstimulates people who take in large amounts of information through their senses.
This is a long video, and yet I have never been so completely captivated that I could not turn it off. Great information, and interviewing. Top performance. 🤩
Been listening to the both of you for a while. So great to see this collab. Also good to know even podcasters go through the League of Legends rage phase like the rest of us.
You two are by far my two favorite TH-cam people thank you for this conversation you are both brilliant and I appreciate the wisdom I hear from both of you
I've listened 30 something minutes in, and I keep thinking that I'm listening to a person that plays video games and wakes up at 11am on how to be attractive, yeah right dude. ✅️
Hey I totally agree that my first impression of him wasn't great. By the end it was pretty clear that he's an appealing dude with some great tips on how to improve in social situations. His advice on things to avoid/ apply during conversations with girls/ others in general was awesome and discipline is far from everything especially when it comes to being interesting. Just my 2 cents
I legit thought that within the first 60 seconds when hearing that his dog doesn’t even get let outside til 11am! 😮 I’m sorry but I can’t respect advice from some that’s irresponsible with ownership of a pet.
See that is the thing... lotta people can't get over their stigma enough to actually do the things that make them succeed. Someone who wakes up at 11 could be lazy... or someone who works late... Someone who plays video games competitively could be wasting their time... or it could be a part of their meditative process that makes them so effective because they don't deny themselves the things they enjoy for no benefit. Then as an extension... someone who can figure out and master a video game quickly can probably apply those same skills to real life. Games are complex and mastery of them requires quite a bit of knowledge and skill coming together... in that regard, you can gamify most things you do.
the story about bill clinton “makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room” and “makes a point to remember people’s names” even by studying and developing recall for the two things you talked about, this is something i have seen said through the years about the current biggest pop star in the world, Taylor Swift. i’ve seen some anecdotes that she takes this approach to her interactions, especially with fans and acquaintances (including people she is a fan of herself) because of how good a singer made her feel by recognizing her or acknowledging her in the audience during a show (I think it was Leann Rimes), and she decided then that she wanted to make all her fans feel that good as well once her career took off.
@Verre Bois Where I've felt this most is personal to me. However, in general, at a point in one's life they may have become a super hustler to get out of a really bad situation. Then, they no longer are in that bad situation and their life is good. However, they can't enjoy it because they're too busy trying to hustle and get even more. Another example is a relationship that may have been perfect for you at the time but has now become toxic and is holding you back. Honestly, I see this all the time in myself. A habit that no longer serves me, a trait that gets me into trouble more times than out, a coping mechanism that has become counterproductive, and a relationship that simply needs end.
LES GOH. Here's the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
03:44 Understanding Charisma
09:17 Charlie’s Biggest Influences
13:17 Definition of Introvert & Extrovert
21:21 The Problem with Hustle Culture
29:50 Principles for Charismatic Communication
37:13 Charisma Lessons from Russell Brand
41:13 How to Overcome Shyness
48:36 How to Flirt with Women
59:32 How to Add Humour into a Conversation
1:07:59 Ben Shapiro & The Problem with Modern Debating
1:12:52 How Charlie Got His Whole Family to Take MDMA
1:23:57 Opportunities to Reprogram Yourself
1:41:54 Where to Find Charlie
Fantastic conversation. My 91th in intellect and 75th in openess to experience highly appreciate this one.
The story with his father was 3 sentences and it tore me to pieces instantly. Awesome to hear him on a podcast interviewed by specifically you.
I hope the best on your quest toward enlightenment. Theres levels. All my blessings bub.
4:36
6
Having “strong opinions held loosely, rather than loose opinions held loosely” is the key to a more harmonious way of life… Brilliant sentence.
"Loose opinions held strongly"***
I think they said
@@GM-qi8pw Yes, it's at 40:55
Totally agree - if your strong opinions are held loosely, I feel like that says that you’re not afraid. You’re eager to take on new information and learn, otherwise your opinions wouldn’t be strong in the first place.
Golden sentence there damn
That doesn't work in the long term. That was me 100% but my wife is now my ex-wife b/c I never had a firm opinion about anything, didn't think things were worth discussing, never made firm decisions, often answered with "whatever". Beware the loose/loose combo.
typically being sober and facing harsh challenges is the best route to becoming stronger
00:00 🏋 Charisma is like fitness; most people neglect it, but a small effort can make you stand out.
03:51 🧠 Charisma has various styles: high conviction (e.g., Conor McGregor), authentic (e.g., Joe Rogan), funny (e.g., Kevin Hart), energetic (e.g., Will Smith), and empathetic (e.g., Oprah Winfrey).
06:10 🔄 Changing yourself for charisma isn't self-betrayal; it's evolving to be the best version while retaining your essence.
08:30 💪 Personality is shaped by past experiences; evolving involves unlearning patterns from younger years.
11:45 📚 Books like "Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" emphasize that confidence is earned through behavior, not an inherent birthright.
14:47 🔄 Introversion and extroversion are about where you get energy; it's fluid, influenced by both genes and experiences.
17:18 🔄 Unintended consequences: Pursuing constant socializing for charisma can create anxieties and new neuroses; true choice is essential.
19:13 🔄 Be cautious about dedicating yourself to certain pursuits in your early years (18 to 25), as they may become obstacles later. Consider the potential challenges of unwinding commitments.
21:48 🔄 Advantages in one phase of life can become obstacles in the next. Recognize when the strategies that brought you success need to be reevaluated and adapted for future growth.
23:13 🔄 The video discusses concerns about "hustle culture," emphasizing the importance of working effectively over working harder. Balancing life and avoiding burnout is crucial.
30:06 🤔 When initiating a conversation, set the vibe a level higher than necessary to be a conversational leader. Avoid literal responses to common questions and provide multiple hooks for the other person to connect with.
31:18 🔄 Instead of answering questions literally, offer responses that provide interesting hooks for the other person to connect with, creating more engaging and dynamic conversations.
34:04 🔄 Breaking away from implicit social norms in the workplace by injecting fun into interactions can foster human relationships, leading to professional success.
35:42 🔄 Charisma levels are not infinitely malleable, but anyone can considerably improve their charisma. Not everyone can transform drastically, but improvement is achievable.
37:21 💬 Russell Brand's charisma principles include treating everyone flirtatiously, using a push-pull dynamic in communication, and exhibiting unpredictability, suggesting authenticity.
38:57 💬 Russell Brand's unpredictability in responses adds authenticity, making him fascinating to listen to. The ability to switchbetween jokes and sincere, value-driven answers makes his communication style captivating.
39:25 🎭 Authenticity is crucial; some public figures may raise questions about their true selves if their stories always have the same punchline.
40:08 🤝 Russell Brand excels in authentic communication, maintaining curiosity and playfulness even in political or spiritual disagreements.
41:35 🦸♂ Overcoming shyness involves progressive exposure therapy; start by saying one extra sentence to lower the filter on what's acceptable to express.
43:28 🗣 Finish sentences with the same decibel level you started; practice deliberate conversational assertiveness for shy individuals.
45:20 🔄 Balancing deliberate skill-building with being in the flow ofconversation is crucial for growth in communication.
46:45 ⏰ Deliberate practice, similar to Tiger Woods rebuilding his swing, may involve stepping back initially to improve conversational skills.
48:41 💬 Principles for men communicating attractively to women: show interest, have genuine standards, and manage sexual tension.
54:16 🌐 In small talk, focus on playful world-building; engage in improvisational fantasy scenarios to create a fun and flirty vibe.
56:24 🚀 When discussing your job, speak to your values rather than just logistics; share what drives you and your life philosophy.
57:59 🌐 Most men go wrong by not engaging in conversation; they often disqualify themselves before speaking, missing opportunities for genuine connection.
58:55 🌐 Flirting with the world, being outgoing and friendly habitually, creates a powerful social presence that feels natural and engaging.
59:22 🤣 Adding humor to conversations involves having both a genuine answer and a playful response to common questions, providing a balance of authenticity and lightheartedness.
01:00:56 😄 An easy way to inject humor is by saying the opposite of what people expect, creating unexpected moments that induce laughter.
01:01:24 🎭 Prime yourself for humor by watching content from comedians you enjoy before social interactions, influencing your mindset and conversation style.
01:02:34 🤩 Tim Dillon is praised for his rapid and clever humor, showcasing the value of quick-wittedness in communication and comedy.
01:03:17 🎭 Improv comedy classes are recommended for those serious about developing humor, offering valuable skills in world-building, quick thinking, and comedic timing.
01:04:41 🗣 Effective communicators like Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, and Bill Clinton excel in storytelling and creating a sense of safety for open conversation.
01:07:30 🌟 Kevin Hart's ability to command attention and lead conversations, even with a significant height difference, highlights his exceptional communication skills.
01:09:01 💬 In debates, using humor strategically, as seen in Ben Shapiro's tactics, can be powerful in discrediting opponents and winning social approval.
01:12:05 😄 Stephen Fry's ability to inject humor into debates can bridge gaps and humanize individuals with opposing views, fostering better understanding.
01:13:57 🌈 Psychedelic therapy, particularly with MDMA, facilitated significant positive changes in Charlie's life, leading to transformative family experiences and a sense of purpose.
01:17:28 🌌 Exploring the concept of psychedelic therapy is recommended, acknowledging it may not be suitable for everyone but emphasizing its potential for profound personal growth.
01:19:40 🔄 Early childhood experiences, especially in the family, shape one's understanding of concepts like love and power, forming lifelong "accents" in these areas.
01:20:22 🤝 Recognizing and respecting parental wisdom, even if they lack knowledge in modern technologies, is crucial for personal growth and avoiding the dismissal of valuable advice.
01:21:47 🔄 Life involves a continual process of self-discovery, where what serves you at one stage may become problematic later. The challenge is to navigate these changes and find a balance.
01:23:09 💔 Overcompensating to avoid past pains can lead to unhealthy behaviors, and the willingness to experience discomfort is essential for personal growth.
01:25:40 💰 Achieving financial and other goals may not provide lasting fulfillment; the mindset and thought patterns play a crucial role in one's happiness.
01:29:10 🤔 The pursuit of goals can become an endless cycle if not grounded in self-awareness, leading to perpetual dissatisfaction and the constant moving of goalposts.
01:31:55 🔄 Anticipatory beings, humans often find the most enjoyment in the anticipation of events, and dissatisfaction is inherent in our nature.
01:34:56 🔄 Unrealistic idealism is wired into human nature, and recognizing that the imagined satisfaction of an experience will always exceed the reality can lead to a more content life.
01:37:15 🔄 Pursuing external validation, such as charisma and social approval, may not significantly enhance one's subjective experience of life; the real joy often lies in appreciating the present moment and reality.
01:40:55 💡 The journey towards enlightenment involves navigating disappointment and frustration rather than achieving a state of perpetual satisfaction.
Thank man can see you put a effort in. ❤
Thanks for the effort
Chris should pin this comment.
Joe Rogan authentic. Thanks for the laugh.
Underrated comment
Having something interesting to say exponentially creates charisma. This comes from actually developing an interesting value, be knowledgeable, be valuable, be interesting
Problem. The left.
Cute theory tho.
@stenobro well you tell me.. With all of these institutions running at full steam, are you feeling very compelled by them?
I would argue "get woke go broke" would put that paper tiger to rest.
Pretiege only gets you as far as the shit hitting the fan. This is true of all things. A war zone being one example and woke ideology being another.
One is real the other is far from it. One always dissolves the other no matter how established your brand or self belief, when it comes down to somthing tangible and real the strawman falls apart.
@@OoO-rf2gt lmao stop whining and playing victim to "woke culture"
@@OoO-rf2gt What are you talking about?
“Self-esteem is your reputation with yourself”
“Your nature is not pre-determined, but it is pre-disposed”
“The advantages of one phase in your life will be then obstacles in the next”
“Strong opinions held loosely, not loose opinions held strongly”
“It is far easier to achieve your material desires than to renounce them”
Wow... This podcast had way to many quotable mic-drop moments. Great listen! Thanks for this you two!
Appreciate you writing these out for us
The Bill Clinton thing is true. I was one of those people in a line to meet him and he absolutely made every single person I could see, have that important moment with him. Every single person thought he was so warm and comfortable. He hardly had to say anything to convey that feeling. He had that air. And just saying “thank you” he made it feel so genuine. It’s like he is so comfortable in himself that he doesn’t need to say much to make you feel comfortable and important.
I think it’s important to remember that being yourself can be different in one moment to the next.
This guy is legit! He’s sharp, level headed, and genuine! He’s helped me land some talent
Chris, you’re probably the best podcaster I ever listened to. Better than the big ones.
Thank you Kay. Turning idols into rivals.
+1. He's right up there with Rogan. If not even a clearer speaker.
@@petestrouse7411 Chris is leagues above as an interviewer. In recent months, Rogan will take every guest off on the same irrelevant tangents, and rarely extract anything interesting or insightful from the guest.
@@georgelovell1 lol this is a prime example of toxic internet expectation that is so unrealistic. Do you think there is an unlimited amount of quality guests that always have something insightful to say? Rogan has done a lot of high level interviews and Chris himself is going upwards. Why can't people just enjoy both.
Facts
15:15
"Our nature does not predetermine but it does predispose."
Fascinating aphorism!
Learn to find people fascinating and you will draw most people to you. People really enjoy being seen and heard. Be open hearted and generous and you will have others respond the same way to you.
This 1000% it’s how I’ve applied myself and I’ve seen a huge increase in how much people engage with me
@@nannoreul Both of you are females. This rule doesn't apply to men.
"Strong opinions held loosely not loose opinions held strongly" is what distinguishes a person with integrity vs. someone with none. Someone with strong beliefs for themselves yet is open to listen to different views, and does not superimpose them on others, is someone you want near. And a person who continuously change their stances/beliefs depending on how that benefit them in the moment via shapeshifting to appeal to different groups, yet quick to anger when others believe differently, is someone you want to get rid of as soon as possible.
A PSA to those with no integrity: "stop trying to get into the clubs using my name". Stop trying to associate with me (and others) for clout and for people to like you via association. Fudge off.
Funny thing is Russel Brand is obviously the latter but because he is charismatic people think he is the former, really speaks to the power of charisma
One of the best podcasts I’ve listened to lately. Two of my favorite personalities! 🔥
Woooh Cole Rolands hear too? 😅
Man your A7x covers are kick ass
Definition of charisma;( at 36 seconds in) , saying he gets up at "around 11am" and not looking like he's being judged!
Peace be upon you all of you,
Just like The Speaker from Charisma on command channel
In my young days I was somewhat of a reserved during my teengage years and People would tell
they Like my personality.
I spoke often infront my peers and even got up to answer question at a conference of about 3000 people.
But I benefited alot my channels like Coc and this one.
To be more charismatic empathically,
energitically and comedically
For the young people reading this
Go and own your charismatic self.
“It’s is almost a a natural law that the advantages of one phase of your life will be the obstacles of the subsequent one.”
What a profound thought that really resonates with me
Being the eldest son for 5 siblings and 2 working class parents, when Charlie got to the part where he talks about his family it hit me on a very deep level I didn't know existed up until now.
Thank you Chris for this podcast, it was amazing to listen to!
I never comment but this is worth my time. These are the two fellas, along with Ben, that have changed the way that I think and live. It's great to finally see this collab. This is the type of conversation that I strive for in my own life. I really appreciate the work that these two are doing. Thanks!
Victor mentality. Seize the day man.
Which Ben? Shapiro?
@@_Palesa_M I would assume Charlie's business partner/podcast co-host Ben
@@twhiteofrd_1102 Oh 🙈 Thank you!
These two got me through 2020. I listen to both podcasts weekly
So cool listening to him admit that he's made it to the end of the rainbow and the pile of gold ain't all that. Hearing someone admit that their path/ program/ company ISN'T the end all be all to happiness is really refreshing.
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
could u share the author and version of that book because there are many books about casanova
thank u
Whos the author?
We're waiting chief
@@mikesplendour8707it’s a bot who buys likes
WTH mate share
The thing about the shyness filter and conversational assertiveness is so spot on.
I think what makes Chris one of the best interviewers is that he finds out why people say what they say rather than just accepting it at face value.
I’ve always talked about how anticipation is better than the actual thing, and haven’t heard someone else articulate it so well! Thank you!
It's amazing how Chris meets Charlie at his level of emotion.
That is the largest smile I have ever seen. It's wonderful how just some physical features can bring me such joy and positivity.
Julia Roberts son.
Just finished 6 pillars of self-esteem after hearing about it on here! Such a great book!
You'd recommend?
@@ChrisWillx Yes, please read. Life changing book.
I was thinking it would be great if you had talked to Charlie and/or Ben. I love charisma on command, it has given me tools in life that have made a real difference. They are both great!
You manifested this episode Brenden.
@@ChrisWillx they had you in their thumbnail for Their Female Dating Strategy video and I was so hoping that you were a guest on it
Softly tap the "like" button. For the algorithm.
This was great :) even though I was hoping for more beauty tips 😉
💜 Would 100% pay for Part Time Prettyboy Academy
I gotchu
- workout
- Eat more clean/less processed food
- Smile
- don't use makeup
- Dress matching to your unique body propositions
😂😂😂 nice one
@@hauntedhose he knew it was a joke. His joke was answering seriously
@@ChrisWillx we w
I remember years ago when I started bartending and discovered Charisma on Command. Looking back on how many things I learned from Charlie and how useful they are to this day. Great interview, love the reminder to be present in life rather than anticipating the next dopamine hit
@ 27:04 I made this realization recently. I started writing down and reflecting on parts of my life that are already the way I want them to be (reflecting on gratitude, too) so that I'm already predisposed to identify that my life is good.
I'm 35 and i'm going through all this that you guys are talking about. Thanks guys this helps alot. Hope you both have a great day!
Whats your advice for an early 20 year old
@@EPCauto2take risks but treat your reputation like your life depends on it
"self-esteem is your reputation with yourself" something that sounds so obvious once you've heard it. But I honestly never thought about it in that way.
Great insight barely 10min into the video bodes well for rest of the interview :)
This is one of the greatest conversations of all time .
Yall covered stuff I think about every day.
The guys teaching stuff like this are always conventional attractive life on easy mode
Charlie is a legend, really helped out my social abilities with some good advice.
This is probably one of the best podcast episodes I’ve ever listened to! Thank you for this gem gentlemen. Will definitely be revisiting this one time and time again
“One of the things guys miss out is having genuine standards” 😂 he said that so sincerely.
Pain Lmao😂😂😂
It's the truth. We literally have a word for guys with 0 standards, we call them "simps"
@@dynamicpaintball you're lost
@@45blank16lmao what? How is he lost, that is literally what they are…
"Guys with 0 standards" is a much much much broader category of men and "simps" is basically a minor subcategory within that broader category, is what I would say
As someone who’s paid for the premium course, I’d say it’s completely worth it. I wish more people would take it.
Two hot guys with amazing smiles and personalities and hyper intense minds, this is what Im looking for.
It really helps if you're actually interesting when you're trying to be more interesting.
Charisma: "compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others", or "a divinely conferred power or talent"... I almost feel like I have a form of charisma, if only the definition was broadened, to inspire hate and loathing in people; yet I know I am affecting them greatly with my mere presence and so feel I have charisma! Perhaps my idiolect has expanded the feeling the word "charisma" has on me! I guess charisma is the word to use when others aren't scared of you, and something else like psychotic or narcissist is used when people are scared of you!
What if you're perceived as both psychotic/narcissistic and charisma inspiring? Is that a natural leader?
Then examine your motives.
How much of charisma is just looking good? Atractiveness creates an instant positive feedback loop with interactions.
Well depends on what you define as looking good. Do you mean natural model-esque good looks or do you mean self care to the point you look good. I think it goes hand in hand as in if you're taking care of yourself, people will find you more attractive. Self care goes a long way in looking good. Hygiene, style, diet, and activeness are all in your control. A natural 4 can go up to an 8 with the right clothes, self care routine, physique, and diet.
"Your ability to be idealistic is always going to outstrip realities ability to deliver that to you." - Chris Williamson
A lot of people walking around not understanding themselves or social cues. And when people reject you, you don’t know why and fall into depression or anger.
This helps, but it’s so important to build a person’s emotional intelligence starting at childhood.
Why does this video have so few views ? what the hell, this has got to be one of the first podcasts I really want to rewatch because there was SO MUCH ground covered. Holy crap, too many lessons that could span a decade to truly understand. Thanks Chris.
Because it´s not very charismatic.
Too much focus on being fake...
Because it’s long 🤷🏻♂️
Just discovered this podcast. Spent my entire day off just listening to several episodes.
I love these dudes. Such positive influences for everyone especially us men. Big ups guys. Y’all are doing some very good work 👍
This is one of the best podcasts I’ve ever watched if not the best
The conversation towards the end was so good and so insightful and I didnt realize i needed to hear those things
Charlie, you have changed my life since I found your channel 6 years ago. Russell Brand is also my hero.
Brah he's a known rapist wdym💀
@@Matt-nj4tt so for 20 years when he was in Hollywood, they had no problem with him.
The second he starts calling out Hollywood, he is labelled as that.
1- where is the court date? Oh yeh, whoops, it never happened.
2- women’s names? Whoops.
3- brand. Trump. Rogan. Peterson. YOU NAME IT… if you’re
Right wing they label you as having done something wrong to women.
In fact, name me one mainstream right wing political commentator that hasn’t been accused of something against women .
Considering you’re not gonna be able to name one, if that doesn’t tell you that all your pathetic left-wing child touching weirdos are throw out accusations to fool losers like you WITHOUT PROOF.
He wakes up at 11am? Whew he definitely charisma’d me into wanting his life.
I would feel so lethargic if I woke up around that time.
We all need to get better with leaving the marshmallows! Delayed gratification for something real and consistent. I love the dialogue here, so much wisdom, awareness and maturity! I love your talks! ❤I’m 51 and I’ve finally got better at enjoying the journey as well as the learning and humility from the suffering and struggles! 💯desire happens in the anticipation! 🎉
Great guest. Charlie is a very interesting guy. Looking forward to seeing them interview you on their podcast too Chris.
Really? 🤔
you guys just listened to each other and also talked to each other. That is a great one.
1:21:14 is why Chris is winning at podcasts. Taking something the guest said an hour ago and flipping it to make it relevant in a new context. Amazing
56:35 he’s absolutely spot on here, and this is the polar opposite when getting to know someone online… that’s why there is no connection or “spark”, it’s literally what he’s saying here
The guy wakes up at 11am and plays video games for rest of day. What an inspiration
No there's the jacuzzi in there as well.
I'd rather aspire for a life where I can do that than aspire to get up at 4am and grind all day.
@@ryancollinsvideo you aspire to a life of playing video games?
I love the fact he gets up 11am and doesnt paint some BS picture of an early start and grind. Nobody aspires to have a life like that. And he plays video games what a legend.
There seem to be a great many people who have spent years learning 'charisma' , so can persuade readily, but no effort at all into actually thinking or learning. AOC.
Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz is a great book if you want to make changes to your personality. Helped me become way more confident and lost the fear of asking women out.
One of the most helpful podcasts I’ve ever watched! Thank you
As an introvert who constantly works on this… I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. Can relate to all this! 💞💞🦋
I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation! So many nuggets of wisdom; I'll definitely need to watch this again to revisit some of the topics discussed.
being charming and charismatic is a natural social adaptation that some people have and others don't.
you can't just learn it all of a sudden.
This was a very relaxed and balanced conversation. These two speakers seem very confident in themselves and not defensive at all. I really enjoyed this, it was very comfortable to listen to, I didn't feel negative or tired once!
Great collab.
Charisma is somehow both the easiest and the hardest thing to work on and definitely needs more of my intentional effort.
Also, what a relief when a video podcast has excellent audio and visual quality.
This was extremely helpful for me. I’ve been struggling with the idea of sacrificing myself by acting in an intentionally tailored way for fear of losing who I am. Reframing it as new habits and skills and clarifying that it isn’t changing the core of who someone is. Thanks for the explanation.
Omgg!! It's so good to see Charlie on your podcast!! I've been a long time fan of his videos!
The conversation at 28 minutes, reminds me of a quote from "The Orchid Thief" something along the lines of passionate focus on one topic prevents you from being overwhelmed by everything..
LOVE THE PODACST. So much learning, acumen and insights I have got!
Extraordinarily engaging and insightful conversation. Thank you both.
Improve helped me a lot. Role-playing is a easy way to naturally flow with convo. Things that help with getting the critic-nazi into the back seat!
1:18:23
I just realized this has happened to me not so long ago,
I'm 16 years old and have been on self improvement for a year now.
I am kind of disappointed in my parents based on their life choices and actions, But I try to be as grateful for them as possible.
The thought that they may not be there someday scares me. We need to remember to be grateful for everything in our lives. Peace and love✌
As Charlie Munger said: The best way to cultivate such things is "to deserve it"
@@easter_sunday Its not about telling yourself to deserve it, it's about doing the things that _actually_ make you deserve it
@@easter_sunday I fully agree!
Like Brandon Carter says a lot ... "Don't do what you need to win. Do what you need for it to be impossible to fail."
Beautiful ending. After all the charisma advice, to end it with being comfortable with imperfect charisma and enjoy life
Yay! My two favorite TH-camrs!! Didn’t see this one coming
17:17 Wish they had expanded on this... the pressure to always go out even if it's maybe not the natural thing we want to do
This was honestly one of the greatest podcasts I have listened to lately. More power to you Chris and Charlie!
Near the end of the podcast Chris was talking about us being anticipatory creatures. He mentioned how the real thing was never as good as we imagined it to be. Though I understand the point, I’ve had plenty of experiences in which the opposite was true. When the real thing was better than I imagined it to be. And mostly what that has done has made me want you to do those things more. I don’t think feeling content and satisfied necessarily makes one complacent. It certainly can, but doesn’t have too. A tremendous day of skiing or mountain biking or time with my family always has me looking forward to the next time… and it doesn’t matter if the next time is as good or not… just getting to do it is a gift. Anticipation is a powerful emotion to create action, but I disagree that it is always better than the real thing. Thanks for a cool interview. Really enjoyed it.
somehow got the idea from random clips that this channel leans into mgtow/red pill and is not my cup of tea - now i’m really changing my mind! got all the content references and a lot of stuff discussed really spoke to me, you both were so good at listening and adding to each other’s points - the episode just flew by, so good and deep!
Mgtow and red pill are actually a bit different.
Mgtow is people who refuse the presence of women in their lives, red pill is evolutional psychology and skepticism towards mass media.
4:01
Charisma is the ability to influence (the extent of which comes from how you come across visually/superficially through how you carry yourself and how you look 4:06 and audibly through your tone/attitude):
if you wanna influence people you must believe (be passionate and convicted) what you are influencing them on. 4:44
It’s a lot like (honest) selling (or teaching), if you genuinely believe and are passionate about what you're selling it doesn’t feel like you're selling it, it feels like you're trying to give away gold. You’re convicted because your intent is to serve them.
You have the most charisma/charm when you’re heart/intent is to serve (chipotle/teaching) because you’re confident (11/25 in notes, true confidence).
You’re confident in those situations because:
-you’re trying to give not take
-you don’t need anything (you’re truly content, you’re not looking to get anything from them, you don’t have desperation, deprivation, or lack of contentment)
-they trust you (and you trust you: confidence) because you are who you say you are (proved by action/work and displayed which is evidence) (you're not lying/posturing you're being sincere/honest/genuine/authentic and telling the truth so it comes naturally and isn't something you're trying to make up)
4:44|5:00 highly passionate, and convicted about what they believe/know
5:11 authentic and trustworthy. Tell the truth and state/follow your belief without fear, regardless of backlash/persecution.
Not a yes-man/submissive to all (only submits to their virtues and principles). Stand for something, fall to nothing; stand for nothing, fall to everything.
-Not afraid to be contradictory to the popular opinion, doesn’t always side with the group or do things the popular/established way, has their own original/unique input/ideas/plans/thoughts, and isn’t afraid to voice them.
Not afraid to side with or support the unpopular way/opinion. (this is authenticity/honesty without fear, this is not being contradictory/disagreeable just to be against the grain for no reason).
5:31 varied joke types (not too much exaggeration, sarcastic, smart-Alek, as it makes you seem inauthentic if overdone, lean on the story/anecdote) Not cruel or jokes at anyone’s expense.
Don’t be afraid to laugh loudly and explain things from your viewpoint of humor to share humorous perspectives with others.
The goal is to have fun and make yourself laugh; others are just a side effect.
5:46 Have empathy, put yourself in other's shoes, try to see things the way they see them, and try to understand them, what makes them tick, their virtues and principles. This is warmth and charm.
10:34|10:50 Confidence/self-assuredness comes from evidence about yourself that you gather through repeated actions
13:26 Extroversion is a skill that can be learned through exposure/practice in social situations (tests)
15:25|15:48 Our nature does not predetermine only predisposes, nature vs nurture but nature only predisposes you, you decide (by your actions) what kind of person you are going to be
16:41|17:00 Never desperate/needy. Must have many options (must have the ability/competence/skills to easily get others) but choose not to out of principle/virtue (free will, true love). Desperation/neediness (and in some cases over-niceness/submissiveness: when you're afraid they'll leave or won't like you and your true opinions/choices/decisions) arises when you feel like you don't have a choice/options or that this is your only one.
23:07|24:23 Competitiveness is a spark that you have that you need to ignite and let be the engine that drives your business success, MJ, if it gives you drive use it. You have to want to win. You have to really want to win more than the guy who you're competing against. The guy that will try the hardest is the guy that feels more deprived of his goal, his goal isn't even a goal it's a need for survival. If I don't succeed I will die so I have to try my absolute true hardest, leaving no stone unturned.
If you don't feel hungry, that is a maladaptation, and you will starve and die. Stay hungry or you will die. Stay hungry even if you have to artificially create hunger when you don’t feel it by depriving your flesh/feelings of what they need (by stopping giving in to them). Gun to my head: I am going to literally die (lose everything) if I don’t do this if I don’t get this in/done.
-At the same time the work is also just the goal and I really enjoy working and becoming who I am building. I feel the worst when I am procrastinating/avoiding/relaxing or not doing work. I feel the best when I am working and making progress towards being better. The work (and the process of becoming) is my reward/fulfillment, so I'm not chasing some unattainable result, I achieve the result every night after a perfect day of doing everything I could've done to become the person I want to be.
MDMA is the greatest 👍
15:00 Great point about genes vs environmental influence
I am discovering alot about myself pretty late in life. Conversations like this are helpful in exploring the different ways of thinking that have been successful for others and bring contrast to the lesser, more self destructive patterns I am working through. Thank you for putting this work out there for us.
I wandered around the red-pill space for a while before I found your channel. You helped me sift what I found there for the wisdom it contains while leaving behind the anger and bitterness. You have a certain mindset that draws the best out of people, made starkly clear during your appearance on Rogan. I like his show, but his formula has become a bit stale, and you managed to bring back what we all loved about his podcast that may have been fading.
Keep grinding Chris. You are inspiring progress in others that you may never be aware of, but is having a positive impact.
convicting, challenging & truth! You really have a gift to see & interpret things the general public does not
*"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine." - Neil Armstrong*
Cause no one EVER does things they don’t intend to.....
" For WHAT? WHY?, what got me into this and what KEEPS me in this, did I already achieve the THING that brought me here and if I did.... am I just gonna set more moving goal posts and convince myself that that's the game while living in a constant state of "I'm not there"..... Charlie man..... as much worth as most of your content man... good stuff still got it I see. This is was me destroying my body to train for a job.
Love guys who think they’re charismatic but they’re just good-looking so people pay more attention to them
The friend repeating your joke loudly is such a relatable experience. I can't believe it happens with others too.
Introversion and intelligence go hand in hand. People with high IQs are thinkers, who need time away from other people in order to do their thinking in peace and quiet. Quite often people with high IQs are highly observant of other people, and pick up on details they don't notice at the time, but later notice when reflecting on what they have seen and taken in with their senses without even being aware of it (it comes from having good visual memory). Facial expressions are one of those things that they might not pick up on immediately, but as long as they remember it correctly, they can figure it out later when thinking about it, as long as it is still fresh in their memories.
Anyway, the point being, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, it is often a necessity, especially in the world we live in today that overstimulates people who take in large amounts of information through their senses.
This is a long video, and yet I have never been so completely captivated that I could not turn it off. Great information, and interviewing. Top performance. 🤩
Been listening to the both of you for a while. So great to see this collab. Also good to know even podcasters go through the League of Legends rage phase like the rest of us.
You two are by far my two favorite TH-cam people thank you for this conversation you are both brilliant and I appreciate the wisdom I hear from both of you
I've listened 30 something minutes in, and I keep thinking that I'm listening to a person that plays video games and wakes up at 11am on how to be attractive, yeah right dude. ✅️
Great point. I thought he was kidding until he kept going.
Hey I totally agree that my first impression of him wasn't great. By the end it was pretty clear that he's an appealing dude with some great tips on how to improve in social situations. His advice on things to avoid/ apply during conversations with girls/ others in general was awesome and discipline is far from everything especially when it comes to being interesting. Just my 2 cents
No one is perfect, we all have our demons and vices.
I legit thought that within the first 60 seconds when hearing that his dog doesn’t even get let outside til 11am! 😮 I’m sorry but I can’t respect advice from some that’s irresponsible with ownership of a pet.
See that is the thing... lotta people can't get over their stigma enough to actually do the things that make them succeed. Someone who wakes up at 11 could be lazy... or someone who works late... Someone who plays video games competitively could be wasting their time... or it could be a part of their meditative process that makes them so effective because they don't deny themselves the things they enjoy for no benefit. Then as an extension... someone who can figure out and master a video game quickly can probably apply those same skills to real life. Games are complex and mastery of them requires quite a bit of knowledge and skill coming together... in that regard, you can gamify most things you do.
the story about bill clinton “makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room” and “makes a point to remember people’s names” even by studying and developing recall for the two things you talked about, this is something i have seen said through the years about the current biggest pop star in the world, Taylor Swift. i’ve seen some anecdotes that she takes this approach to her interactions, especially with fans and acquaintances (including people she is a fan of herself) because of how good a singer made her feel by recognizing her or acknowledging her in the audience during a show (I think it was Leann Rimes), and she decided then that she wanted to make all her fans feel that good as well once her career took off.
"This is what a lot of LA's like, very poorly trained animals that pee and poop in the wrong places" - and don't get me started on the dogs!
Man when Charlie smiles it is contagious!
I watch both of your podcasts and was super excited to see you both collab, great episode 👍
I really relate to the idea that a strength at one point in your life becomes a future obstacle.
@Verre Bois Where I've felt this most is personal to me. However, in general, at a point in one's life they may have become a super hustler to get out of a really bad situation. Then, they no longer are in that bad situation and their life is good. However, they can't enjoy it because they're too busy trying to hustle and get even more. Another example is a relationship that may have been perfect for you at the time but has now become toxic and is holding you back. Honestly, I see this all the time in myself. A habit that no longer serves me, a trait that gets me into trouble more times than out, a coping mechanism that has become counterproductive, and a relationship that simply needs end.
@Verre Bois Have you experienced this?
@Verre Bois That definitely makes sense.