covert saddies are ENERGY VAMPIRES.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- #naturalhair #kinkycoilyhair #4chair #platforming #delusionality
📝 EPISODE 29 INFO:
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“This isn’t about social justice you have a inferiority complex with your hair” yup
She will keep making these videos because it gives her clicks and views. I unsubbed a long time ago. Tired of the pity party. I switched to content creators who unapologetically love their 4c hair texture, like Yinka Naturalista. She stays gassing herself up, she's super cute to me!!
Yinka is a doll! 👸🏾
Yesss Yinka!!! ♥️
Me too. I love Yinka!
Joy-el been clocked Star Puppy. After all these years she still making videos like this. No growth whatsoever. Sad.
😂😂😂😂🎉 right!? I like star puppy though but yeah her hair “issues” get tiring
I forgot that happened. Nothing she said was wrong lol i was shook to my core
I'm confused what happened?
@@albertamathurin7084Joy-el made a video a few years ago saying that Star Puppy needs to stop being so negative about her hair
Oh yes, I love Joy-El! ❤
When Star Puppy posted that video I knew this would happen.
I love StarPuppy but I have noticed the insidious internalized inferiority complex towards highly textured black hair. It’s really sad. Thumbnails like these perpetuate the negative views so many of our people already have regarding our hair. Your channel is so necessary!
To add to the topic about thumbnails, but is it just me or do y'all notice how a lot of type 4 natural hair thumbnails will be a picture of their hair looking disheveled. Curly hair does that too but you never see them make the thumbnail with dry dirty hair sticking up. I find it so weird. Like why is that the representation of your hair that you want?
@@LethalLemonLime I noticed that!!! It’s pathetic! Nobody’s hair is perfect 100% of the day. There’s such thing as bed hair! Lol
@@1savaright like ppl are delusional. my bf is always complaining abt his straight hair wayyyy more than I’ve ever complained abt my coily hair 😂
@@LethalLemonLimeexactly like why do they act like one hair type is so perfect and better than others smh
@@LethalLemonLimeclicks & views
the self hatred is very deep rooted. your channel alongside other upcoming channels dedicated to putting natural hair on a pedestal is helping me realize just how bad it actually is. i know your channel is still growing, but you are doing life changing work with these commentaries. i am in the process of falling back in love with my hair as well, and you have completely changed my outlook on so many things. ❤ as a former covert saddy lol, thank you for this.
Ditto ❤
Same. I've been watching and subscribing to a lot of 4c hair videos/channels that give this brutal positivity, I would call it around 4c hair. And im so loving it.
You’re so welcome. I’m glad that it’s helpful 💕
AfrikanHairGod has taught me a lot, highly recommend his channel!
Yes!! his detangling method saved my hair!
I use to really like Star Puppy but her content lately has definitely been a case of internalized anti blackness.
Not StarPuppy on the thumbnail 😂😭 I know of her, not familiar with her videos, but a lot of people enjoy her content. I did see this particular video pop up in my recommended, and the title garnered a deep internal eye roll, blank stare, then I clicked for TH-cam not to recommend her channel and moved on with my day 😂
I will comment again after I finish the video!
So I posted a comment on my natural hair success story, but for some reason it disappeared... but I'll sum up the main point like this:
Sometimes, the gap between what we want and what we can be is made up of our fears, real and imagined. And sometimes, the bridge between that gap is made by having the ability to just try. Thank you for such a poignant reminder of that.
Thank you for sharing! 💕
StarPuppy's progression has made me so sad as someone who has followed her for a long time. It used to be about loving "Fluff Nugget" then it was about fighting shrinkage then she hid her hair under passion twists until traction alopecia, stress, and neglect made another chunk of her hair fall out. Now there's no love for Fluff Nugget pouring through the screen. I even had to stop being a Patreon because there was no content coming and I didn't know what I was paying for. The self-hate is strong and I've been hoping and wishing for her healing for so long but I'm tired. Her self-hate makes me hate my hair when I watch her videos now.
Wait... the alopecia was from the twists??
Her regression! She regressed so much, it’s sad to see 😢
The alopecia was an unfortunate combination of back to back passion twists, neglect of her hair during those passion twists, stress and a failed hair experiment. So much manipulation to make her hair be/look like anything but what it was and it resulted in another bald patch. And it's so sad because her hair is so beautiful and she used to love it...
She said she pulls out her hair in a particular spot. I don't recall what it's called.
She doesn't have traction alopecia, she has Trichotillomania. This is a condition where you pull out hairs on a particular part of your body when you're stressed. I don't know why you're talking about Star puppy like she stopped loving her hair when she's just going through and dealing with the mental health issues that caused, in part, her hair to be unhealthy in the first place.
I had to unfollow her channel years ago
She's constantly causing the damaging she's experience but has yet to follow a healthy hair routine or more importantly let a professional handle it. It's sad and click bait atp
Girl!! I was all up and through that thread 🙄🙄🙄 I’m American, and I’m tired of that excuse. We can know our history and not wear it on our sleeves. The black experience is not struggle, not oppression, not perpetual victimization 💯
This is coming from a girl who was bullied by boys darker than me in grade school; a girl who has been followed around stores plenty of times by employees assuming I’d steal; a girl who’s beautifully dark skinned and been picked on by other teen girls (light & dark) about my collarbones showing & having a chicken wing shoved in my face; an introvert, anime loving nerd who’s left jobs because other insecure black women didn’t know how to take my confidence from my healthy hair to my pretty skin to my swag.
So, I’d say my feelings are valid 😂 as I have endured plenty not mentioned and refuse to wallow.
Healing starts from within. My spirit is light, my aura clear, mind strong, body fit as a fiddle. Positivity can literally change your DNA. Negative thoughts are automatic, almost second nature. It takes real grit to rewire your thinking 💗
I love all this! And I’m so sorry you went through all that😭😭you not only survived, but you thrived and conquered, again it still hurts to hear that you endured that, but I’m so glad you’re on the other side💖💖💖💖
@@kaylabean3693 Thank you girl!! Folks love drama, stress, & mess. They thrive on it. I completely separate myself from the foolishness cuz I’m in my soft girl era 💅🏾✨
@@LI8A__noirI know they do! And it’s so unfortunate! But I love that so much for you! You keep on shining!💖💖💖
‼️🫖‼️ My thoughts exactly. This was so well written and it really articulated how I feel and the internal work I’ve done. I’m sorry you went thru that stuff but we are so powerful, gritty and full of love we are not what we went thru! Thank you❤️❤️❤️
@@BunnyBunni25 💗🤗
I remember a video from joy-el expressing something similar to this video. it gets exhausting after a while
I watched it too and I couldn’t agree more!
Yeah I saw Joy-el video!😊 she was upfront
I’m really upset about starpuppy. I liked her content because there are few black content creators who lean into their nerdy personality and it’s especially lacking from black women . I was happy to see someone with a similar personality to me make content about my hair type. I also enjoyed her videos because the production is high quality.
I remember a few years ago her Bantu knot out video where she cried at the end results. I thought they came out nice but she thought she looked like a grandma. I remember feeling confused cause that’s exactly the way Bantu knot outs look on me and I love them. To me, they look like the natural version of those Harlem Renaissance short curly hairstyles so I always feel like black royalty whenever I wear it out lol. It’s all about which angle you look at something.
I was happy to see her embrace and become successful for her wash n gos but those videos are no more. People with 4c hair who continuously rag on their hair don’t realize they are simultaneously adding to the stigmas that makes us feel uncomfortable with our natural hair in the first place. I seen that thumbnail of that recent video and I did a deep sigh and scrolled away. I’ll stay subscribed to her though as I am comfortable with my own hair and I really want to support the nerdy/weird/awkward black women on here because they are few and far between. I hope as another commenter said that she goes back to loving on fluff nugget.
Edit: I just watched the video and she never addresses the thumbnail, I thought she would at least talk about playing up the absurdity for clickbait smh
People don't realize how powerful words are. You speak negativity into your life, hair, etc. It will be your reality. I love this channel because it shows the positives of having healthy textured hair. I honestly believe we have the best hair since it's so versatile, defies gravity, shrink/stretch, can be shaped in almost any shape, look thick even if it's thin, and its so fluffy!
Last comment 😮💨
I never understood why the gworls got offended by Zendaya wearing an Afro. It wasn’t even a costume, party city kinda wig. It was a genuine wig she wanted to wear and wore with class. Why ask for representation and get mad when it’s given?
“Being 4C” is like some cult where if you don’t have the same mind frame and low self esteem as the “majority”, you’re not welcomed and shunned. It’s like a pity party and there’s never resolutions, just many wants and wishes and hate with no action. I never understood the disdain people had for 4C girlies and just thought they didn’t understand and were anti-Black, texturist, etc. The world is changing and there’s much more support and still… even with progress, it gets drowned out so those who haven’t healed are platformed to keep the narrative and negative energy going.
When you learn that everyone has a struggle, you won’t be so hard on yourself. All hair types have a drawback and I wish people would be more open and speak to other people besides their own. One of our main complaints is how hard it is to detangle and there’s so many easy fixes. Looser textures can actually be harder to detangle and can get knotted up real bad to the point you need salon services to salvage your hair. I’d take a “fairy knot” or my hair breaking over getting matter hair outta nowhere and getting nearly everything chopped off. The grass ain’t always greener on the other side.
So so true. And now the narrative is, anyone that may "mistakenly" think or say their hair is 4c is now trying to co-opt the face of 4c to take over and push all the real 4c haired girlies out....smh. Actually saw two back to back videos on this the other day. I'm like.... what in the world. Is this the hill they really want to end on?!? Self-inflicted Isolation from everyone and then complain about said isolation?!?
Yep, so true! My wife has like 1/c with 2/a hair. Her hair stays tangled. She has to brush it throughout the day. Especially when we’re in high humidity. With me, 3b/c hair, it’ll just frizz. So all I have to do is spray water and add a bit of gel. No detangling needed & she tells me how lucky that I am. To think I use to want straight hair.
The "I do not 4c this" and similar culture online is exhausting. It's been changing I think but that just makes it even more jarring when I see it. It's this need to kick yourself before anyone else can. Just sad to me
People went from sympathetic to over it. It’s sad when people in the world love your own hair more than you do smh.
@@denyshadials5702This!!!..
I clicked so fast ! 😂
Girl, some people don’t want to change. They are wedded to the struggle. My sister said to me, I know it’s self hate but I can’t change my mind, my hair is ugly and tough. All you can do is pray for them 🤣
I wanted to ask you to make a video on this but I completely forgot about it and here you are! Thank you for covering this!
I think it's highly useful and informative for people to go back and read the firsthand accounts of how black americans felt in the 60s when they started rocking the afro. In a time when they'd JUST come through the civil rights movement and desegregation. Now all of a sudden people were mingling like never before, advancing and making strides in this country, and it's not an accident they did it with their natural hair.
You're so on point. Can you do a video on the myth of protective styling, being that most women just end up neglecting their hair?
This!!!.. i think it actually breaks our hair.
Hey! I actually have made two videos on protective styling (it’s one of my channel playlists) but I am happy to talk about it more if there’s anything you think I’ve missed 😊
Ooo lord. If you love yourself and want to work on your self esteem and accepting your natural hair; that girls’ channel is not it. Literally cannot. I didn’t watch her often to peep what timing she’s on, but when someone broke down how pessimistic and self-deprecating she was? Man. Life changing.
It’s not normal to talk down on your hair like that. Now that I have a better handle on my hair, if I speak against it I know it’s because I’m not doing something I should. I analyze what’s causing the problem I’m complaining about and just fix it.
Everyone has a complex or something they don’t like about themselves, but the way we spread it and in a way get offended when other people don’t see our hair as a problem is too much.
I feel like this isn’t an issue for black women in the manifestation/law of assumption community. We talk abt privilege stacking all the time, and that includes bw of all skin tones and phenotypes. I just can’t relate to the majority of bw that are constantly living in the struggle/oppression mindset
Oh and this is why we stress the importance of self concept, this needs to be taken more seriously
Wow i used to watch starpuppy. She used to talk about her self love journey with her hair and now shes doing this :( i guess views were low lmao
Hello ♡
@@UniqaLines hey girl
I've been wearing my hair unapologically for years but exclusively for the past 4 years and it's been liberating. I style i when I feel like it and when I have somewhere important to go or I wear it in two braids or puffs when i can't be bothered. We're the only people who let our hair rule our lives to this extent. It's yours just love it and treat it right! it's beautiful in all stages and length it's really ok ladies. Let's stop with hanging on to trauma and love ourselves. Like she said just try for a few months like what do you have to lose except trauma? and you have freedom to gain potentially.
its wild that i saw her video when it first dropped but i only saw the caption and her face. it was a reflex. After it was over i moved on... until the same video popped on my feed again and i looked at the thumbnail this time...i was like wait...no she didnt....i felt weird. I even went to the comments and saw the people were upset with her. I didnt know how to feel. Ive never even heard her use that language when talking about hair.. just wow. Hope she recovers mentally and spiritually.
This is exactly how I felt smh. I’ve loved her channel for years but this… no.
Coilette! Some of my subscribers mentioned your content and I’ve been binging your videos. You’re doing amazing work here and I love how in depth you go with your videos. I’ve been feeling that your channel definitely doesn’t get the recognition it deserves (in terms of subscriber count). I know that isn’t the only metric that matters, but I just needed to say that I pray your channel blows up because we need your content to reach the masses ❤❤❤. Thanks for being you!
Hi Mare! Thank you so much, I love your content. This is really heartwarming 💕💕
You guys are 2 of my favorite natural hair TH-camrs!!
@@thisiscoilette you’re so welcome my Naija sis 💗
@@adeleisnamedafterme that is so sweet! Happy to hear it 💕
My sister all I needed to like your video was the thumbnail and title! Absolutely agree with your takes in ALL your videos! You have gained a new subscriber ❤ I am tired of some coily hair TH-camrs constantly playing victim
I don't understand like our hair type is the most unique yet you're so desprate for another hair type?
Why is anyone surprised. There has been a hate campaign against us for centuries. We are seeing the symptoms of it now. None of it surprises me at all.
Honestly u have become like a therapist to me . Am 35 years and a Doctor , pretty sure am older than you, ur posts uplift my spirit , they have improved myself , I still have struggles but I have accepted myself . Thank u
Love what you said about up and down privileges, and the fact that no one is privy to another person’s entire story. Especially in the age of social media, you’re sometimes only seeing what someone carefully portrays of themselves.
It is very confusing to see someone as pretty as Starpuppy so dysphoric about her hair. I hate it.
Just saw a TH-camr I liked posted a video about hating their hair and about society has made black women blah blah blah I mean LOOK I don’t really know how long black women want to be victims to their own hair,or maybe it’s because I don’t see myself personally anymore being darskin with type 4 hair as a victim,there’s this TH-camr I watch joy-el it might not make sense but her being biracial and having my hair type just made me more confident with my hair for the FIRST TIME she lets her hair flourish and as a mixed woman hasn’t let society make her a victim to her hair she was born with,I wish black women would stop being victims,and as much as they push for other things,push yourself to accept your hair for what it is and love it get to know it🤷🏾♀️ and the thing is if black people really look at it it’s somehow always other black people that will try to make you feel bad for wearing your hair,I’ve never had anyone that isn’t black ask “when am I getting my hair done” or other stupid comments
1:15 her hair is so pretty
The models featured are a beautiful work of art.😊
@@mariepearl-harbour2335 agreed!
Living in a mostly white city/town I've never understood the whole argument that our hair is discriminated against; whenever I took my braids down (braids of my own hair my mom would do; she didn't allow wigs or relaxer until I got a little older) and wore a more traditionally "black" hairstyle like a natural or afro puffs white people would be the ones tripping over each other to compliment me. Black people are the main ones dissing 4c hair in my experience even now in adulthood.
lol I live in Korea (probably mentioned that before in your comments lol) and it's funny to hear you speak Korean. I love it haha.
It definitely is very possible to reach bra strap and beyond. I've reached bra strap many times and I'm one of those people that has had short broken off relaxed hair growing up who would've never thought my hair could be this long. And after learning a lot about hair through actual scientific and reputable sources it's highly unlikely that someone wouldn't be able to reach bra strap and beyond. The issue is length retention, not hair growth or terminal length. (I'm agreeing with her btw before anyone thinks otherwise lol but also I think beyond bra strap is very much so possible too).
Thank you! I’ve consumed so much Korean content that it’s pretty much part of me now 🤣 and yes, I agree 💕
I don't like the privilege framework too much but it truly should never have been individualised to the way it has been on social media. Grand scale societal factors will not affect every single micro interaction. This would not mean that it's not true or doesn't exist.
Seeing additional comments I'm more convinced about leaving "privilege" frameworks to the sociologists lmao
@@leavemeal0ne378 I think the idea of privilege stacking misunderstands what people are talking about when talking about "privilege". It's two steps away from acting like there's no racism because some people succeed despite from a marginalised ethnic/racial group. I generally believe that a good way to push for hair acceptance is to simply wear the hair and I do think people make excuses based on their own (often understandable) insecurities. I will not however act like natural hair is not often disadvantaged or that some styles or curl patterns are not elevated above others in a more general sense. I just think we should wear the hair anyway!
Sorry if I went off tangent lol
@@Chromagens in life no one is perfect perfection does not exist - you can’t play the victim all of the time you are born how you are build a bridge an get over - work on being the best version of yourself
@@leavemeal0ne378your issue with your hair texture does not affect me or anyone else it’s your own perception you are seeing it as a disadvantage that’s your issue and you need to do some inner work to fix that - you are what you are how you were born you can’t change it
I love being black I love my hair and my skin. My parents planted deep self worth in me the world couldn’t snatch away.
I’m a natural girl I’ve been consistently wearing my natural hair out since February and recently did braidlocs 2 months ago and other black women have been the ones telling me to do my hair/edges trying to control my hair while a helmet is on their head is crazy
Not gonna lie, I could tell you watch EU.😂 I watch her too. Africanhairgod too.
Who is EU ?
@@lilijean5321 Exoticals United
@@leavemeal0ne378 Yeah I like her content.
So I just had to come back and comment again, because I've been a long time subscriber of Danielle's for a while, and she's someone i relate to, both in terms of personality, and physically, although we have different hair types and hair experiences. So i went back and watched her content. Deeply. And... wow. The thumbnail of that video caught me completely off guard, and the video itself is.... interestingly worded at times.
It makes me consider my relationship with myself, and how the way i present to the world can be viewed by others in terms of insecurities. If people view me like they view her: a person with worth, beauty, and immense value, including her hair, but who may not fully see the extent of that. It's given me a lot to consider.
Thank you for sharing! I have also been a long time subscriber of Danielle and I used to really enjoy her content but this… this gave me pause.
I saw this video and I rolled my eyes… I’m so tired of the pity party!!
I've been wearing my hair natural since I was 16 (apart from a period when a stylist relaxed my hair without my consent), but this video still gave me the kick that I needed today regarding other areas of my life. Thank you!
When I was transitioning back in 2018/2019 I had no idea what my natural hair would look like and as much as people don't like the typing system, it really helped this girl as a starting point because I'd been relaxed from the age of 10!😅
I exposed myself to every type of "4" texture creator I could find with the intention to love and know how to care for it irrespective of what came through. That's how I came across Danielle's channel. I loved her personality and her intro and even named my hair "Gloria" when I heard her referring to her hair as "Fluff Nugget". I can attest to her loving her hair and just wanting to look after it and learn about it back then.
I don't know what's going on now because I moved on to other creators with similar hair to mine (fine strands, medium density, bra strap length *whoop whoop*) and leveling up in business, style, finance. Shout out to EU and Yinka who you mentioned! Love their positive, no bullshit, quit complaining content. ♥️
People change, change is good - unless you regress. So lemme go see what y'all are talking about.
Okay, I'm back.
I did not see what the hoobaloo was about while watching the video. I do however, see how the thumbnail and title could coz a stir in these overly analytical times to our overly exposed sensibilities. Very good click-bait in our attention economy.
The most disturbing thing to me is the hair extensions that were treated the same way one would their natural hair. I cannot imagine spending all my time and product on a wig whether it's textured or not💀 I don't watch product reviews. I prefer content that focuses on hair growth. To each their own.
Her lovely personality is still there. I guess the real question is where does one draw the line between self-deprecation and humility in this quest to be "relatable"?
I always knew she was iffy from the start. I hope creators like her can stop perpetuating misinformation/stereotypes about black hair.
5:21 it’s funny because I recently did a people watching expiriment where I examined thousands of UABW and exotical dating habits, hairstyles, how they dressed and who they dated . I can count on one hand the amount of UABW who had dates who wore their straight hair so my study actually proved my point that natural hair (or Afro extensions /braids etc) DOES have privilege and overwhelmingly, the UADSBW I observed with dates/boyfriends had their natural hair or natural looking extensions even locs ! anything can be turned into a privilege if that woman knows how to use what she’s got, and where to use it ! ❤
What a beautiful message ! Everyone needs to stop feeding those insecure demons and learn to love themselves - I think when you stop comparing yourself to others and start loving the differences it becomes easier to navigate in this world ❤
13:48 I LOVE the metaphor you used. Instead of hearing the truth they look for rebuttals or excuses. Its like they want to stay stuck in the same place while everyone has BEEN moved on in our mindset. I dont really try to attach too much with natural hair influencers .... im more like an observer😅 on the outside( just checking to see whats gonna happen next from timd to time).
But sometimes it be painin me 😂.
I don’t think she knows any better.
We just have to let people work though their feelings. Telling them they are wrong for feeling negative is not helpful because let's not lie kinky hair does get the most hate. People just take different amounts of time to work though the pain . The worse thing you can do is make them feel bad about the fact that they are negative. Just let them work though it without making them think they are the problem because they aren't the problem. It just takes some longer than others to work though the negativity of the world. It has taken me almost a decade to finally start seeing my hair as beautiful.
if everyone all wore natural hair it would become the standard, i noticed that from a young age we're taught to love white women in all their forms but not ourselves. I wear my hair out all the time it can be a struggle sometimes when ur products don't work how they're supposed to or how long it takes to do bc my hair is reallllly thick but after I'm done i always feel so pretty with the style, i wish more would wear their hair bc hair no matter the type is time consuming
4:09 omg wow thanks for the shoutout ! And yes EVERYONE has pros and cons in life . I noticed a lot of DSBW complain about not having skin tone privilege and that’s actually a lie . Every skin tone has privilege somewhere, with someone . (Light or dark.) so yes- everyone should simply privilege stack and social climb so that they can live THEIR personal version of the soft life, whatever that means to them ❤️
No problem! Love the way you break down the concepts of privilege. And yes, I agree ❤️
Love love love your content!!! It’s down right raw and refreshing!!! Total self acceptance is key and very liberating!!! ❤
Omg that saying [“don’t put invisible barriers on yourself because someone else said they existed”] was amazing
❤️❤️❤️
Nooo... The way I looked up her channel literally yesterday, and I see this video today. I loved watching her videos for yeaaars. This video definitely changed my mindset. Thank you
we need to start being patience with our hair even outside of of hair we need to paticen with whatever we're doing and accept mistakes
Your channel is such a treasure trove! I know your channel is smaller than some but what you do is so important. The struggle narratives are SO toxic.
Thank you! 💕
Excellent video !
Thank you!